Since autistics know best their experience and because so many are advocating for the acceptance of self diagnosis, do you think it could be possible to come up with a sort of "community diagnosis" process? Where autistic people come together and rewrite the tests that are out dated and rearrange the testing process to better fit everyone's needs and experiences? This way if people have been on wait list for years, or don't have the finances to pursue a diagnosis from a "professional", they could still receive a legitimate diagnosis by their peers. I'd love to hear your thoughts on something like this.
@phoenixxfyre728
4 жыл бұрын
I'm in college, and sometimes I struggle with the setting (and the way the classes are set up) and socializing with classmates--especially during group projects--or professors. Do you have any tips for surviving school, both K-12 and college, when you're autistic? I apologize if you've already made a video about this before--I only discovered your channel a few days ago. I like your videos, by the way. They're quite helpful.
@junipajen
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Sam. How much does routine feature in your daily life?
@AutomaticDuck300
4 жыл бұрын
Hi, do you find that your mental health suffers if your routine is disrupted?
@lyudmilabelkova8137
4 жыл бұрын
I want to know more about your relationships with other languages. For me, it feels much easier to express my feelings in any other language except my own, because I was literally taught what these weird "feeling words" actually mean.
@soupstoreclothing
4 жыл бұрын
A lot of my pain has come from someone else not wanting as deep of a connection as I was wanting out of a relationship. I guess it's the autism in me but I can't really understand why anyone would want a relationship and Not want a deep connection with someone? I don't understand how people can just casually hang out with each other and have sex and do loud things like go to the movies or an amusement park and not just want to be in love with that person. Going out to an amusement park with someone is like, a HUGE investment on my part, and if I am going to do that for you then it has to be very apparent that I like you very much. It's only recently that I'm realizing it's not that way for other people. Neurotypicals can just go out and do these things and it's not this huge personal investment of finite energy. I hope I can meet someone someday whom I can invest energy into and not have it just be a waste.
@makakowsky7042
4 жыл бұрын
It can be a challenge, but they do exist. I hope you find the person you are looking for💛
@Evija3000
4 жыл бұрын
I work as a courtroom secretary and I was and still am surprised at how people seem to get married barely knowing each other. They split up, sometimes just a year or two after getting married, they're nasty to each other, fight over kids, assault one another, lie about one another (sometimes just one is terrible to the other, sometimes it's mutual). And I'm like, did they not know each other at all when they got married and had a kid? Was it just physical? Were they just desperate to get married? I don't think I could marry someone if there was even just a hint of him being a bad person or someone I can't fully trust. P.s. I'm not sure if I'm somewhere on the sidelines of the spectrum or not, but wanting a deep connection is something I definitely relate to. P.p.s. I'm kinda scared of dating because I know even just going out on a date will be very emotionally tiring.
@よしみ-x5j
4 жыл бұрын
Same here. I feel like a alien from outer space when I look at the peoples relationships. Only recently I'm becoming to realize that I'm autistic. I feel very separated from the world and people, very lonely. Don't know how to change it.
@melt.3568
3 жыл бұрын
This was the most relatable thing. I thought everyone felt things the way I do and it made me feel like I really wasn't good enough. So many people I've invested myself in and they kinda just moved on..
@soupstoreclothing
3 жыл бұрын
@@melt.3568 Yeah this has happened to me over and over in my life. I invest so much time and energy into the people I want to care about, and they just discard my efforts and move on like it's nothing... I guess for other people it's easy to have fleeting connections, but for me it's really painful. I don't like connecting with someone and then losing them so easily. It takes a lot of effort for me to form that connection, and I desperately want to keep ahold of it. Other people don't seem to feel the same way, so it can make me feel alienated and desperate and alone a lot of the time. I don't really have friends since I graduated and started working. I think that's a common issue for a lot of autistic adults. And especially with coronavirus now, I feel even less inclined than before to go outside and try to meet people. Most of my friendships have been online anyway, but those are the ones that seem to come and go so easily, you know? Like other people don't really care about their online friendships as much as in-person ones. When I start thinking like that, it makes me feel inadequate when an online friend is maybe the best friend I have, and I'm just some stranger on the internet to them.
@blackjackel3622
4 жыл бұрын
Being yourself and being very clear about what you want to get out of a relationship from the beginning is good advice. I let people know that I wanted a serious relationship and even made several people go through a "just getting to know you as friends" period before agreeing to date them. I didn't know what demisexuality was at the time but looking back, that's pretty telling...
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
Yes definitely do not do what I did which was accept whatever from whoever because you had no idea how it was supposed to work.
@moviehitscreepyposta8985
4 жыл бұрын
AND PLEASE TAKE TIME TOO READ THIS AND: well i ben want wanting a boyfriend since i was a teenager I'm 26 years old now and I'm still waiting and i like boys and befor you ask me out just so that you would theres a lot you need too know about me first and that is I'm autistic mentally impaired girl i have mild autism but i struggle with learning certain things and if i get married it will messy check up I'm on disability i cant live with out that so when i do get a boyfriend i hope he will remain my boyfriend for the rest of my life i just want someone too lovey dovey with that's all also i dont want kids so if you got any i will not help take care of them because i dont have the responsibility and i dont want that responsibility also i dont have the i patience for kids so if you have any babies or children the responsibility is all on you and your going too be the only one takeing care of it because i I absolutely will not help or if you dont have any kids at all just accept the fact that i refuse too have any kids with you and no im not going too change my mind ether i made my decision and I'm sticking too it and i dont like bearded guys i like guys with a clean face all beards mustache and goatees are disgusting and theres no use shaving because it will just grow back in a day or 2 and guys with a naturally clean face are the cutest and I'm going too want who will be good too me love me unconditionally and accept me for the way that i am because im never going too change and im a tomgirl im not a girly girl at all i know its tomboy but the reason why i call it tomgirl is because I'm a girl who likes boys things that should be girls things so that's why I'll call my self a tomgirl so who ever i meet i hope you like tomgirls and i want a straught guy only i dont want no gay no bisexual and no lesbian what's so ever beause i like boys who likes girls and only girls just like i like guys and only guys so who ever I get he half too be 100% straight and I'm not going too fall for no scams i will not put up with boys taking avantage of girls like guys only want women just for sex I'm not in too that in other words once a man get what he wants from a woman than he dont want nothing too do with her that's low down and dirty so if any of you men tried too do any of that crap on me i will show you how it feels i mean i can play that game too if you know what i mean so please dont take avantage of me or else if you did you would be asking for trouble and i hate it when men rape and than kill the victim too keep from being told on so i hope all you pedophiles that's out there get a taste of your own medicine and another thing i dont like being just friends with anybody unless it's just friends until we get too know one another too be come boyfriend and girlfriend because i will not be just a friend permanently I'm going too want someone who will like me as there girlfriend not a friend and so temporarily just friends is ok but i refuse too be just a friends with a man for ever because for one thing just friends make me sad and heres why it makes me sad it is because when i meet that special somebody I'm going too want more than friends and i want love not friendship so I'm going too tell you right now its ether that can be boyfriend and girlfriend in love or nothing at all so the choice is yours and i like too take the whole thing slow getting know someone before i go any further because I'm shy around guys and you got too have background check done on you too make sure that your not a bad person because if you are than your not welcome in my life and dont try too act like your a good person because i can tell who's a bad person and who's a actually good person I'm smart that way and i want someone who is just like me and knows what's it's like too have autism i dont want just any boy i want a christian boy someone who believes in god and all of that and i got one more thing too say just one more thing i just want someone too lovely dovey with hug kiss cuddle snuggle hold hands and stear into each other's eyes and if your done reading this comment please reply too me if your a guy and let me know what you want too do and i hope you guys have a good day and i hope guys have a good day😊
@behindthenextcorner3183
Жыл бұрын
I wonder, how do you tell someone that you just need to get to know them as friends first and only then maybe date? I'm probably demisexual too, but I'm convinced that guys would think Im "friend-zoning" them (I hate that word!) and that I don't have interest in them... while in fact, I need to know the person better to know if I actually have an interest.
@blackjackel3622
Жыл бұрын
@@behindthenextcorner3183 That can be pretty hard. I think that it is a bit easier if they are people that you see regularly, at work, hobbies etc. so you would be seeing them anyway. I don't know if it would work with someone that you meet at a bar or on a dating app. I'm not really sure if there's a better way to do it than just trying to be very clear about it. Say that you're only interested in dating people that you are compatible as friends with and that you would like to hang out more to see if you are compatible. Maybe explain demisexuality if you are comfortable with it and think that they will listen. At the end of the day, if they aren't willing to wait to get to know you first or put in the effort for a deep relationship, they're probably just not compatible with you. Nothing against them, but it probably wouldn't work out even if you tried to do everything their way instead because you'd have so much trouble forming a genuine connection, at least I would. It can be really hard sometimes and take a lot longer than you'd like, but finding the right person instead of settling is worth it when you finally get there.
@rebecca7339
4 жыл бұрын
The best way to date is to have a friendship established beforehand!
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Rebecca Pritt Emmm, friend zone, then never what anything more than friends. Then akward. Then fall out from my experience.
@connor863
4 жыл бұрын
Rebecca Pritt Demisexuals agree!
@jameslebeau7078
3 жыл бұрын
And today in things that never happen...
@JustAnEmptyCageGirl
3 жыл бұрын
James LeBeau As someone who married her best friend, I gently disagree.
@QlueDuPlessis
3 жыл бұрын
In my experience, if you have a good friendship going, your friend won't agree to that for fear of losing a friend if the relationship -goes south- fails. My suggestion is if you meet someone and click with them immediately, tell them your autistic and that you'd like to date them right away. Take a chance. When you "wait for the right moment" you either get friend zoned or rejected completely. People get freaked out when their existing friends ask them out on a date. Just make sure you lay out your parameters up front so they no what they're getting themselves into. 😉 (That's my new strategy, but I haven't tried it yet so...)
@barina73
4 жыл бұрын
My husband loves weird and funny films and situations. The more weird I am, the more he loves me. In some situations I think I would leave myself, he loughs out loud in his own way and tell me how much he loves me.
@mariaiordanidou8112
2 жыл бұрын
That’s soooo sweet !!
@strictnonconformist7369
Жыл бұрын
He's a keeper!
@LosingLara
4 жыл бұрын
I was doing an autism chat on Twitter and they asked what is one way you find really helps you communicate and I said reaction gif. Like when you find that perfect gif for how you're feeling that pressure of trying to make sure you express how you're feeling in a way that the other person will understand just leaves. They are absolutely the best thing ever invented for socializing in my case.
@noor-5187
4 жыл бұрын
I'm kind of relieved hearing that u like so many different foods as well. I often come across autistics talking about their (very)limited food choices/routines. It made me feel weird cause I don't experience that. I strongly believe it has to do with being way more conscious and educated about health,nutrition, vitamins etc compared to when I was younger (it's even one of my special interests now). It helps me to consciously make the decision to eat certain foods, and so with time I learned to enjoy them. As a child that aspect doesn't affect your eating behaviour, that's probably why nutella on bread with a cup of milk or cereal for example was what I would go for often. Now luckily my brain tells there are many better options, and there is much more to eating than just following cravings. I believe educating yourself on nutrition might really help people who struggle with this.
@-melanie-1115
4 жыл бұрын
Noor Aziah same special interest :D
@noor-5187
4 жыл бұрын
@@-melanie-1115 Yay!!🙂 Does it also happen to u that people get very offended when u talk about nutrition or advice them? I thought people would be happy if I give them those informations. But turned out they feel like I'm attacking their personal choices😬 So after getting several unpleasant reactions, I realised I better stop talking about it(luckily my husband is interested in it). It's also funny cause often people want to show that they also have knowledge about it (as in "duhh everyone knows about food"). But their knowlegde is often incorrect or outdated...and since I can NOT handle people giving me wrong facts, I can't stop myself from correcting them🙊 And once again they feel offended. Haha please tell me this happens to u as well to some extent😆
@makakowsky7042
4 жыл бұрын
@@noor-5187 Lol, I completely know what you mean 😖
@peke1822
4 жыл бұрын
Omg you sound just like my husband, he's very knowledgeable about nutrition and I really appreciate that because that makes my life so much easier.
@josh34578
4 жыл бұрын
I've made several friends by getting to know people I possibly wanted to date. By the time I get to know them well enough, they've squarely put me in the friend category. Traditional dating sounds horrible for me, but at least I've got friends.
@jliller
2 жыл бұрын
"By the time I get to know them well enough, they've squarely put me in the friend category." That seems to be the challenge. Most people seem to immediately know they want to date someone. If you don't show interest quickly enough they'll usually never again be interested in dating you.
@nattr612
4 жыл бұрын
One day I was in the Nord of France, siting on a bench. A man approached, asked if he could sit there and I said “no”. Honestly I was a bit proud of myself because normally I would have say yes even if I felt uncomfortable because I was in that specific place to calm after a meltdown. He said something that can be translated to “you are a mean woman” and I... started to cry?
@orangestoneface
4 жыл бұрын
maybe he just meant mean value ...
@bucket6487
3 жыл бұрын
Are you sensitive to rejection? I did something very similar once and I was a mess for like a week 🙃
@ChadSnider
4 жыл бұрын
Speaking in animated GIFs describes my preferred way to converse as well. Hearing you say things like that makes me feel a little less.... alone?
@peterwynn2169
4 жыл бұрын
One thing I would say that helps dealing with going to the doctor is this, if you go to a group practice, and you have a preference for a particular doctor or gender of doctor, make sure the receptionist understands that. When I was twelve, my mother knowingly and deliberately, forced me to see a doctor she knew jolly well I didn't like because she didn't want to wait for one I thought was okay. So, if your preferred doctor is delayed, tell the receptionist you either don't mind waiting, or will go and do something and they can ring you to say your doctor will be ready soon.
@whoever6458
3 жыл бұрын
Here's something I just realized that might help when it comes to social relationships, especially the closer ones. People often do nonverbal communication without realizing it at all but still expecting in the back of their minds for you to understand and respond to it. I always thought that it was enough to just tell a person to say stuff instead of relying on me to understand their nonverbal communication and I even told them to say it even if they think it's rude. Now I know that didn't work out the way I thought it would because people aren't always conscious of the nonverbal stuff they do and so they have no way to just tell you in words.
@airari24
Жыл бұрын
I've had people be like "I clearly told you that" and when I replay the convo explaining that no they did NOT, they always come back with it should have been obvious bc of x body cue. I try the best I can to be mindful of body language but I let people know it is confusing and I am not a mind reader. Sometimes they swear up and down they did say it but they didnt. They should tell me what they mean or they are being cowardly. But it may be what you are saying, that people sometimes feel they don't have a way to say what their body is saying 🤔
@kathrinkaefer
4 жыл бұрын
I'm autistic and I met my fiancé on Tinder, against the odds! It was definitely more bad experiences than good, but worth it to find him 👌
@andyrevan
3 жыл бұрын
Same 😁😁
@thevirtualjim
4 жыл бұрын
being demi makes dating kind of 'easy' because I just don't have interest in dating someone unless I know them enough to be friends first :) BUT kind of related to what you said - I masked alot (i didnt know it at the time), and so once i was close enough to someone to start dating then my mask would start coming down and i think my partners would kind of be surprised.
@makakowsky7042
4 жыл бұрын
I've had a full meltdown behind the wheel a few times, usually due to being in an unfamiliar area and getting lost while on my way to a social gathering so I was already stressed out. When this happens, I've had to find somewhere to pull over asap to let myself just break down and then calm myself down. I'll also usually call someone who is already there to let them know what's going on, which usually helps. I hate driving 😥🚗🔥 Also I like fans It's all about the white noise
@StephanieBethany
4 жыл бұрын
Oof absolutely on the recovery time. If I try to push through after an appointment or something causing some stress, I start to lose functions like speech, coherent thought, etc.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
I've got the same basic problem towards the end of my shift at work. I generally tell people that my tongue is trying to strangle me, and that usually buys enough time for my brain to reset.
@Dwamak
4 жыл бұрын
"oH wELl wHo dIAgNoSeD yOu" haha you are adorable Sam ^_^ I am really glad that I am diagnosed
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
Haha me too! I still get people not believing me, unfortunately. 😔
@vee2918
4 жыл бұрын
As a viola player with hyper mobility, I can confirm that my condition actually aids my technique! I'm a petite person, and I play a 5 string electric viola, and 17 inch acoustic viola (Side note: I don't know how much you know about violas, and not wanting to insult your intelligence, they come in different usually measured in inches. 17 and 18 inches tend to be on the large side, my sister plays a 15 inch and is much taller than me - its down to preference and the tone you like which varies from instrument to instrument) and my hands are quite small, but I find that with my extra bendiness I can stretch (and over stretch 😬) to be where I need to be while playing. I guess hyper mobility will affect everyone differently though, so depending on your condition it might not be safe to take up the hobby. They can be very heavy and I regularly get back ache from playing for longer periods of time. I love that you specifically wanted to play an electric viola, you can achieve some really different sounds with special effects and loops! Stay safe 😊
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you that is so good to know! Maybe I won't write it off completely. Do you know if the cheaper ones are adequate for a beginner? I just want to get started, less worried on everything being perfect.
@vee2918
4 жыл бұрын
Cheaper violas are fine for beginners, although if you are looking for a nice mellow tone the more expensive ones will sound a bit nicer. 😊
@Vaith
4 жыл бұрын
I think HSP has negativity attached to it as well, because I always got told growing up and even now to not be so sensitive.
@keyanna2633
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah I agree. I am Very sensitive as well as well as an empath an Pisces(even though I don't really believe in astrology,but it's known pisces are very emtional and sensitive.)
@elisecraig8509
4 жыл бұрын
What is HSP?
@peke1822
4 жыл бұрын
How can an HSP be autistic? I think those are opposites?!
@Vaith
4 жыл бұрын
@@peke1822 uh what? i don't remember what this is about lol
@p.m.5141
4 жыл бұрын
"Dating" sounds weird to me. I wouldn't know where to start. My wife and me were part of a jungle-expedition. A week after we first met (in the jungle) we decided to get married ... I guess I was just lucky ...
@AutomaticDuck300
4 жыл бұрын
That is lucky. Dating is a minefield, especially these days.
@marek9081
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, you were really lucky. ;)
@pshkdjdbd3950
4 жыл бұрын
@@AutomaticDuck300 for gay and lesbian people you mean? Cause for straight people it's pretty much the same as long as your not exclusively using a dating app, at least where I live it's ok for them.
@AutomaticDuck300
4 жыл бұрын
@@pshkdjdbd3950 for everyone, because you don't know who you're dealing with.
@moviehitscreepyposta8985
4 жыл бұрын
AND PLEASE TAKE TIME TOO READ THIS AND: well i ben want wanting a boyfriend since i was a teenager I'm 26 years old now and I'm still waiting and i like boys and befor you ask me out just so that you would theres a lot you need too know about me first and that is I'm autistic mentally impaired girl i have mild autism but i struggle with learning certain things and if i get married it will messy check up I'm on disability i cant live with out that so when i do get a boyfriend i hope he will remain my boyfriend for the rest of my life i just want someone too lovey dovey with that's all also i dont want kids so if you got any i will not help take care of them because i dont have the responsibility and i dont want that responsibility also i dont have the i patience for kids so if you have any babies or children the responsibility is all on you and your going too be the only one takeing care of it because i I absolutely will not help or if you dont have any kids at all just accept the fact that i refuse too have any kids with you and no im not going too change my mind ether i made my decision and I'm sticking too it and i dont like bearded guys i like guys with a clean face all beards mustache and goatees are disgusting and theres no use shaving because it will just grow back in a day or 2 and guys with a naturally clean face are the cutest and I'm going too want who will be good too me love me unconditionally and accept me for the way that i am because im never going too change and im a tomgirl im not a girly girl at all i know its tomboy but the reason why i call it tomgirl is because I'm a girl who likes boys things that should be girls things so that's why I'll call my self a tomgirl so who ever i meet i hope you like tomgirls and i want a straught guy only i dont want no gay no bisexual and no lesbian what's so ever beause i like boys who likes girls and only girls just like i like guys and only guys so who ever I get he half too be 100% straight and I'm not going too fall for no scams i will not put up with boys taking avantage of girls like guys only want women just for sex I'm not in too that in other words once a man get what he wants from a woman than he dont want nothing too do with her that's low down and dirty so if any of you men tried too do any of that crap on me i will show you how it feels i mean i can play that game too if you know what i mean so please dont take avantage of me or else if you did you would be asking for trouble and i hate it when men rape and than kill the victim too keep from being told on so i hope all you pedophiles that's out there get a taste of your own medicine and another thing i dont like being just friends with anybody unless it's just friends until we get too know one another too be come boyfriend and girlfriend because i will not be just a friend permanently I'm going too want someone who will like me as there girlfriend not a friend and so temporarily just friends is ok but i refuse too be just a friends with a man for ever because for one thing just friends make me sad and heres why it makes me sad it is because when i meet that special somebody I'm going too want more than friends and i want love not friendship so I'm going too tell you right now its ether that can be boyfriend and girlfriend in love or nothing at all so the choice is yours and i like too take the whole thing slow getting know someone before i go any further because I'm shy around guys and you got too have background check done on you too make sure that your not a bad person because if you are than your not welcome in my life and dont try too act like your a good person because i can tell who's a bad person and who's a actually good person I'm smart that way and i want someone who is just like me and knows what's it's like too have autism i dont want just any boy i want a christian boy someone who believes in god and all of that and i got one more thing too say just one more thing i just want someone too lovely dovey with hug kiss cuddle snuggle hold hands and stear into each other's eyes and if your done reading this comment please reply too me if your a guy and let me know what you want too do and i hope you guys have a good day and i hope guys have a good day😊
@jvance6
4 жыл бұрын
I'd love one about ADHD/ADD and Autism connection, and other neuro-divergences such as dyslexia. My family personally appears to have a lot of neuro-divergences.
@lyudmilabelkova8137
4 жыл бұрын
I really want to thank you for your videos, which I looked a lot within this week after been diagnosed. It's an extreme pleasure to find out that at least one person's brain is wired like yours. It's like a new type of happiness, which I was never aware of before.
@Traumatised311
4 жыл бұрын
Sam can you discuss that we autsitics hate being touched by anyone and it makes dating or making friends twice as hard cause then people think you are prude or have attitude and are rude towards them but it's just that we don't let anyone touch us until we are very very very familiar to them , it's just gross when somebody touches me regardless of their touch
@jliller
2 жыл бұрын
The pandemic ending handshakes for awhile was really nice. I'd really like society to move to fist-bumps replacing handshakes in most situations. It would make handshakes mean more, such as when you congratulating someone. Fistbumps seem perfectly adequate for greeting someone, especially someone you're often meeting for the first time.
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
Honestly, it really varies. I hate being touched unless I give my consent. If I do, then it doesn't bother me so much. I think it's partially due to our emotions tending to ramp up whatever sensations we're having. But, I have been accused of reacting as if I've been touched prior to actually being touched, so who knows.
@pikachuchujelly7628
5 ай бұрын
I do like being hugged, but not poked or touched when I don't expect it.
@AutomaticDuck300
4 жыл бұрын
I have misophonia too, I have to listen to music or watch a film when I'm eating. But I personally love the crackling sound that water makes as it runs over fresh ice.
@torimiller9922
4 жыл бұрын
Yes Peaceful Cuisine! I love watching those videos when I'm anxious and overwhelmed. It just so soothing and calming!
@buildtherobots
4 жыл бұрын
I definitely relate to being averted by certain noises while eating. Some of the worst times I've ever had trying to eat were when my mother is nearby but has already finished her food and she also has a cold and spends 5 minutes hacking up goo and clearing her throat loudly. You can't say anything about it because she gets defensive. Fortunately that has only happened a couple times and usually I can reheat my food later when my appetite comes back. My cats don't like the violin in person but it doesn't bother me, probably because I'm the one playing it and I started as a child when I was less averted to high-pitched sounds. I stopped playing a while back and when I tried to pick it up again I kept being hyper aware of how loud I was, even after I purchased a rubber mute thing that is for practicing in buildings with thin walls. It also doesn't help that I can tell how much my skills have atrophied since when I was taking lessons.
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
I can't sit next to my mother when she's eating crunchy things like muesli 😂
@pikachuchujelly7628
5 ай бұрын
I hate the sound of my teeth going through meat.
@Foodgeek
4 жыл бұрын
It's funny about the food. My son Bastian (IA) ate 3 different things when he was a kid. When he hit puberty he suddently started eating almost anything (except tomatoes) :)
@Julia.diesesfelderforderlich
4 жыл бұрын
When you said "that's like an ASMR question" I got very worried you'd DO something ASMR-like. I hate ASMR most of the time. It makes me feel physically unwell.
@farn451
4 жыл бұрын
being myself is something i need to work on in relationships. i love the idea of love and find that i am very attentive and loving etc but as you say, it's so tiring and before long i'm exhausted and bored and things fall apart.
@insgrmnsk
4 жыл бұрын
I love that u have rosy highlights and rosy cheeks🥺🥺
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Nini Welcome to the comment section.😀
@shoshanafox727
4 жыл бұрын
I ♥ emojis and I'm 61! 😄❤❤
@gigid9606
3 жыл бұрын
ditto
@akaterine7585
4 жыл бұрын
I became less fussy eater when I began to cook myself. Now I think I just want to know what's inside my meal. At restaurant I ususally order simple food because I feel more comfortable eating it.
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Akaterine Restuarants nostalgia. When was I in a restaurant before they closed?
@peke1822
4 жыл бұрын
Im very interested in your HSP video because i strongly relate to it, its strange because it's said that autistic people have difficulty in understanding emotions and theory of mind and that is the contrary to HSP.
@shoshanafox727
4 жыл бұрын
This is such a great video! I've had meltdowns while driving and had to pull over.
@joysfulljourney
4 жыл бұрын
I have BPD and I also relate a lot to the definition of a highly sensitive person!
@mmoviefan7
4 жыл бұрын
Hey I can't eat gluten as well. Seems to be a thing a lot of A.S.S. people deal with
@viennadesou6546
4 жыл бұрын
I have a similar reaction to violin. I can listen to it but I always want things to be a lower octave. I've always wanted to learn Viola.
@makakowsky7042
4 жыл бұрын
Cello is my favorite instrument 🎻
@viennadesou6546
4 жыл бұрын
I would've considered the cello as well except that I'd have absolutely no place to put one. Lol
@simonkraemer3725
Жыл бұрын
Yes, having a relationship with a neurodiverse partner has quite some benefits. My girlfriend is my first girlfriend and we have 3 years anniversary in two weeks. I like that I can be just myself with her, there’s no pressure to pretend being someone else and I feel like this is really essential. Sometimes things get complicated where I think it wouldn’t have been complicated with a neurotypical person, but it’s a type of „complicated“ that I get and we can work through while NTs would be overwhelmed with it. We met each other in an autistic self-help group - and I‘m lucky that I had the courage to ask her for her number. So yes, that‘s my tip.
@ramblinglowe7363
4 жыл бұрын
I wasn't aware that Tinder was for casual sex until I was approached by a friend. It was rather awkward. Actually the whole thing was awkward because casual flings go way over my head. I just thought that the people I was meeting on tinder liked their vegetables or were vegans. Ah well live and learn I guess.
@BirdlessFlight
4 жыл бұрын
I used to have a friend and 90% of our conversations were just GIFs. I kinda miss it :x I pretty much entirely gave up on dating and accepted the fact that I'll be alone my entire life...
@SmallSpoonBrigade
Жыл бұрын
TBH, the longest relationship I've had with somebody worth being with was mostly emoji. It was pretty much just flirting via emoji. It's a shame that she had to let me go because her work schedule wouldn't allow us to spend any time together.
@pikachuchujelly7628
5 ай бұрын
I'm glad you can be content with being alone. I'm an introvert, but I need another person as company.
@MythicGirl2210
3 жыл бұрын
Omg your talk about emojis just validated my liffeeee.... TToTT
@noor-5187
4 жыл бұрын
For the next Q&A, my question is: What is your opinion about comorbids like Fibromyalgia and Chronique fatigue syndrome in relation to autism? Do u find them useful as a diagnosis on top of autism or should we see them as aspects within the autism spectrum (I noticed some people have them as extra diagnosis, others don't, even if they experience the same symptomes, why isn't there a clear consensus within the medical field?). Even before I discovered my autism, I have always been sceptical about CFS and Fibro(even having it myself). Why do they present them as these mystery-conditions? What if they are psychosomatic results of sensory overload, anxiety etc in combination with hypermobility? I feel that often people come home with those diagnoses feeling scared and left with little hope about those 'incurable'conditions that they the medical world doesn't know much about(where it comes from and what to do with it). I personally believe they have to seriously reconsider those conditions and start using them in a more constructive and helpful way. Rather then sending people home with more questions than they came with. I fully understand how those diagnoses feel like a relieve in the moment and are a handy tool to communicate towards surroundings and are often crucial for financial support. I'm just not fine with the medical approach at the moment. Would love to hear your thoughts on this, but I do understand if it's too medical and u prefere not to :)
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
It's an interesting topic but not something I know very much about. I do think the medical system is not set up to support those with chronic illness who need management rather than "treatment"
@noor-5187
4 жыл бұрын
@@YoSamdySam That's also true. I still find it difficult to understand why so many doctors are not able to put the pieces of those comorbids together. I've been going to countless doctors/ psychologists/ specialists...(literally countless) for so many years, with all the comorbids (CFS, IBS, HSP, fibro, hypermobility, chronic depression, OCD, social anxiety etc etc)...why was not a single professional able to link them all together? Not even one professional ever mentioned the word autism, it's just mindblowing to me. It took me not more than a few of your videos to link everything and come to the conclusion. What is going on that non of all those trained people could do that. While living in a European country that is supposed to be at the top of the medical world. Anyway, thank goodness there are channels like yours!!🙂 xxx
@noor-5187
4 жыл бұрын
Actually I do understand. Cause as u explained before, they simply don't teach u the correct information about autism at University. I guess I'm just really frustrated about it then :p
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Yo Samdy Sam You never wrong keep this positive comment.
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
I'm often wrong but I keep it to myself and try not to publish my wrongness on the internet. "Try" 😂
@migdalyrodriguez8112
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Sam thank you so much for your videos. You said you want to talk about adhd too but any information about how to deal with a asd-adhd relationship? My boyfriend (adhd) and i ( self diagnosed asd) have a amazing relationship ( we met on tinder btw😂) but some time it’s hard to dont get mad to each other because we don’t understand exactly how the other one is thinking ( processing) or feeling about some particular situation. We talk a lot and it’s really helpful but some time something that is easy or important for him isn’t for me or viceversa. We are really good dealing with our own disorder but I think maybe our expectations are about neurotypical people because we grew up in this society so it’s harder understand the other feelings. We hope the other one has everything under control and it isn’t like that. Do you have any idea how to work on this? Thanks, hope you’re having a great time
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
That sounds a bit like me and my husband! (Dynamic wise) I could definitely so something on that topic
@weirdosnextdoor4039
4 жыл бұрын
My wife and I met on geek2geek, and it wasn't until after we were married years later that we got good therapists and discovered that she had the inattentive-type ADHD and that I had ASD. I may be the luckiest person because we both feel like weird puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together, but I believe that ANY couple can achieve that feeling of connection. All it takes is both people being willing to talk out their feelings, the deepest scariest feelings especially, and talk and talk and talk some more until they both feel comfortable knowing where the other person is coming from. And then you have to KEEP TALKING in order to continue that feeling, because all things can fade if neglected. All that talking makes it easy to suss out which people are serious and which ones are not, too, as a side note. I know, "just talk a lot" is oversimplifying it, especially if talking is hard to do, and is the one thing you have been doing this whole time, but really that is the answer. Find the way to get the other person to see how you feel, and if both people can do that, both people will be in a healthy relationship. Took me nearly 40 years to figure out.
@wildflowersar3595
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for answering these questions. HSP video💜🤞
@AnEnglishRider
4 жыл бұрын
Definitely clicked on this to find out what the dating advice was (would put a laughing emoji here if that was a thing on youtube)
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
Sorry for what in hindsight is a bit clickbaity... 😆
@Tim_G_Bennett
4 жыл бұрын
@@YoSamdySam Your dating advice was honest though. I'm middle aged and have never been on a date so there's nothing I can add other then, it's really hard.
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Can you do a random ask me anything live steam this Friday? Like Indy Andy does. So the viewers can just talk.
@Randomark3087
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you all this advice
@NotAyFox
4 жыл бұрын
Misophonia: I recently did some extra observations on this and concluded that any sound that contains very high-pitch tones will trigger this for me: chewing and slurping in humans and animals, chirping of small birds, clinking of small metallic objects and, my worst nemesis, high-frequency current transformers (aka chargers) that have strong harmonics at 15 ~ 17 kHz. Question: Do you take any anxiolytics, pharmaceutical or otherwise, and if yes, which ones work best for you?
@makakowsky7042
4 жыл бұрын
Oh I am the same way. My husband and I can never agree on treble-to-bass ratio, and I have straight up confiscated a couple of dog whistles from people who seem to think it's funny I can hear them ...
@Thedesertguy75
3 жыл бұрын
I met a lovely woman with Autism and I too had never had a connection with someone like her...In person we are AMAZING in every way. We live about 45 minutes to an hour apart so seeing each other is limited. The last 4 weekends we have spent a day or so together. Its been beautiful and surreal when we are together but there are challenges too. Since we communicate a lot over the phone, there are times when there was miscommunication. I sometimes say things that triggers her or hurts her but I am NOT trying to do that. I just dont think like she does. SO I end up feeling like the bad guy....I am just very expressive with people and it can come off as harsh but i am just expressive. I would NEVER say anything to hurt her but we do argue over the phone, when we are in person, we are amazing.... SO I wonder if that is causing the problems....the distance...I cant see her face when we talk so its easy to misunderstand her....especially since she communicates differently than me....I want to understand her....but I seem to trip and say stupid things from time to time....Im HUMAN, lol. Its hard when I feel like she's waiting for me to mess up because of past people, and experiences, but that's not fair to me either, right? I don't want to feel like i have to walk a tightrope with my words or its meltdown time.....So yeah, its not easy...Ill do my best...I hope it can work but either way, I am sooooo grateful to have met such an amazing person.
@j.rinker4609
Жыл бұрын
I don't like having my hair shampooed at the hairdressers. I've found that the local community college ASKS if I want a shampoo, where beauticians just start with that.
@Eva-lv1lj
4 жыл бұрын
Great vid. I was surprised to hear you live in NL. Dutch myself! Where do you live if you dont mind me asking?
@BrideofJesuChristo2
9 ай бұрын
We expose the lack of clarity problem in dating. Even NTs hate it. They drink wine, we have meltdowns.
@susanweaver2866
4 жыл бұрын
I really resonate with you.
@rachelkyte6164
4 жыл бұрын
Me, trying to figure out how she can portray her feelings to people via the gifts she gives them. Also me.. Reads comments and discovers she meant gifs not gifts.
@minksrule2196
3 жыл бұрын
Does anyone love the sound of cutting into capsicum or peeling egg plants or is it just me?
@melindamay1051
4 жыл бұрын
Do you know your personality type? (Myers-Briggs)
@jerrysims6691
4 жыл бұрын
Great vid, Sam.
@RockSleeper
3 жыл бұрын
I know Autism has a negative connotation, and I feel like it does myself, but I don't understand why, or how that manifests. Can you describe the negative connotations Autism has? I think if we have a better understanding of them, we may be able to address them and hopefully find ways to change them.
@jadu79
4 жыл бұрын
one question i have is what is the music you like and listen to? I myself did not listen to any music but now it is a music style I started to like some songs (not all they do but some songs) and it is symphonic metal from Nightwish and Epica and if you did not listen then I recommend that you Listen through some of their songs so you might like several songs or maybe some of their music
@krissyk9767
4 жыл бұрын
I can't stand going to the Drs, i get in such a panic before i go, not that i go very often! Any advice on how to get over my fear? I hope i never have to go to hospital because i dont think i could do it. Even visiting someone is hospital freaks me out. I cut my own hair to avoid going to hairdressers.
@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS
4 жыл бұрын
I feel about guitar the way you feel about violin.
@teflonpan115
2 жыл бұрын
I've been myself all my life and never had any real date with a woman. "Be yourself" only works for a select circle of few.
@CJenkinsMusicLover
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Samantha, any cautions for online meetings during physical distancing? The ad that came on before this clip was from ‘Get the Girl”. I don’t like being called a girl. .
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Christine Jenkins That was a PUA advert. Those channel have had a break because of COVID.
@bevishhh
4 жыл бұрын
I relate to you soooooo much ❤💕
@minksrule2196
3 жыл бұрын
I've never heard of hsp as in highly sensitive person because where I come from a hsp is a food. It means halal snack pack and usually consists of beef and/or chicken and hot chips and sauce (whatever sauce you want). So I would describe myself as a hsp, the undiagnosed autistic kind, not the food 😁
@DNL1278
4 жыл бұрын
I went to the hairdressers back in November and I saw someone who was absolutely horrible with me. She was extremely nasty and ripped at my hair. She decided for whatever reason that she just didn't like me.
@lostxtro7540
4 жыл бұрын
Man. I panic just sitting in the waiting room. I tried explaining to the Dr the waiting room is hell. Where does one look. What do I fiddle with. My phone? Have no idea what I am looking at. The waiting room is the biggest hurdle I have in going to the doctor's. Supermarkets are OK as you can do that at 10:00 at night. Oh and 24hr supermarkets are a god send. Sounds are not so much of a prob. It's crowds and people. The train and bus. Oh my god how do People use these forms of transport. They can be but...... Going to the doctor's or shops is like mission impossible. I can imagine the music in the background. Hell I even come out with food and prescriptions I don't want and did not get what I actually went in for but hell I made it there and back to my sanctuary. Living the lie. Oh and dating.....well I do have two kids....but, and it's a big but, have not lived with them for 8 years..... Dating that is an emotional book I never could understand. Body language?
@LittleWing1985
Жыл бұрын
I love emojis and I'm in my 30s! I'm still warming up to gifs tho
@chaosgoblyn
3 жыл бұрын
"Be yourself" - my bumble profile says "I put the high in high functioning autism." I'm on apps but typically don't have much luck with them. Too honest? I have met some cool people though. But mostly a waste of time. Some day someone will think I'm clever. Until then I have weed and my cat. *yeah functioning labels suck but I still like the joke
@rainyblood
3 жыл бұрын
You seem like a cool person :)
@chaosgoblyn
3 жыл бұрын
@@rainyblood Sometimes 😂
@cityman2312
2 жыл бұрын
I am an autistic man, not so high functioning as Sam, and a question came up on one of my first dates. My date wanted s3x on the first date and I didn't want to have s3x with her, so she became really ratty and behaved as though I owed her something. When we discussed meeting again she snapped "and you can take me out" alluding to the fact that she had had to transport me to the first date and that she had to be more accommodating than she would with an average man. Then she wouldn't let go of the attitude that I had cheated her out of something by refusing s3x even though we didn't go on a second date. Clearly she thought that she was owed more from the first date because she had to be really accommodating by driving me and agreeing to a venue that wouldn't overwhelm me. Is that kind of attitude justified? What does everyone think? Neurotypical people in particular, please answer.
@jliller
2 жыл бұрын
Sex on a first date is stupid.
@strictnonconformist7369
Жыл бұрын
I'm not neurotypical, sorry I can't fulfill that request (AuDHD) but I can tell you this with confidence: she's very transactional and has decided on the terms of the contract without your consent: she's a people-user. If someone is truly interested in you as a whole person and not just for how you can immediately fulfill their desires, they'll wait for your voluntary consent in this sort of situation: anything less than full consent is abuse, and in this sort of scenario, rape, even if not done via the more blatant form of holding power over you to do it against your desires. This is just a special form of manipulation of that type. Run away from such people as soon as it is clear they're this type, you'll be safer and happier.
@moviehitscreepyposta8985
4 жыл бұрын
AND PLEASE TAKE TIME TOO READ THIS AND: well i ben want wanting a boyfriend since i was a teenager I'm 26 years old now and I'm still waiting and i like boys and befor you ask me out just so that you would theres a lot you need too know about me first and that is I'm autistic mentally impaired girl i have mild autism but i struggle with learning certain things and if i get married it will messy check up I'm on disability i cant live with out that so when i do get a boyfriend i hope he will remain my boyfriend for the rest of my life i just want someone too lovey dovey with that's all also i dont want kids so if you got any i will not help take care of them because i dont have the responsibility and i dont want that responsibility also i dont have the i patience for kids so if you have any babies or children the responsibility is all on you and your going too be the only one takeing care of it because i I absolutely will not help or if you dont have any kids at all just accept the fact that i refuse too have any kids with you and no im not going too change my mind ether i made my decision and I'm sticking too it and i dont like bearded guys i like guys with a clean face all beards mustache and goatees are disgusting and theres no use shaving because it will just grow back in a day or 2 and guys with a naturally clean face are the cutest and I'm going too want who will be good too me love me unconditionally and accept me for the way that i am because im never going too change and im a tomgirl im not a girly girl at all i know its tomboy but the reason why i call it tomgirl is because I'm a girl who likes boys things that should be girls things so that's why I'll call my self a tomgirl so who ever i meet i hope you like tomgirls and i want a straught guy only i dont want no gay no bisexual and no lesbian what's so ever beause i like boys who likes girls and only girls just like i like guys and only guys so who ever I get he half too be 100% straight and I'm not going too fall for no scams i will not put up with boys taking avantage of girls like guys only want women just for sex I'm not in too that in other words once a man get what he wants from a woman than he dont want nothing too do with her that's low down and dirty so if any of you men tried too do any of that crap on me i will show you how it feels i mean i can play that game too if you know what i mean so please dont take avantage of me or else if you did you would be asking for trouble and i hate it when men rape and than kill the victim too keep from being told on so i hope all you pedophiles that's out there get a taste of your own medicine and another thing i dont like being just friends with anybody unless it's just friends until we get too know one another too be come boyfriend and girlfriend because i will not be just a friend permanently I'm going too want someone who will like me as there girlfriend not a friend and so temporarily just friends is ok but i refuse too be just a friends with a man for ever because for one thing just friends make me sad and heres why it makes me sad it is because when i meet that special somebody I'm going too want more than friends and i want love not friendship so I'm going too tell you right now its ether that can be boyfriend and girlfriend in love or nothing at all so the choice is yours and i like too take the whole thing slow getting know someone before i go any further because I'm shy around guys and you got too have background check done on you too make sure that your not a bad person because if you are than your not welcome in my life and dont try too act like your a good person because i can tell who's a bad person and who's a actually good person I'm smart that way and i want someone who is just like me and knows what's it's like too have autism i dont want just any boy i want a christian boy someone who believes in god and all of that and i got one more thing too say just one more thing i just want someone too lovely dovey with hug kiss cuddle snuggle hold hands and stear into each other's eyes and if your done reading this comment please reply too me if your a guy and let me know what you want too do and i hope you guys have a good day and i hope guys have a good day😊
@markvick6138
4 жыл бұрын
given up on dating acute anxiety stop that
@wtfronsson
4 жыл бұрын
Sweeteners are not great. The body should not perceive sweetness if it doesn't receive actual sugars. Same problem with MSG and whatnot. It might be a minor thing, but all of the possible complications have not really been accurately researched. So at least in a rare case, the "false taste" might end up contributing to actual health issues. Brain chemistry and hormones in specific have been formed by evolution, and accurately processing taste is most certainly a part of that. I just wouldn't mess with the balance if I can avoid it. I've replaced sugar with fat and salt, pretty much. I'll do a (sugar) energy drink or two per week, other than that it's just food with no tricks. I use 100% butter, cream and full milk. My mother has been doing the same while on a diet, and lost 40kg. She is very healthy now. I'm getting in shape with exercise and the progress is good. Added a lot of vegetables into meals, and I can enjoy the taste because I cook it with cream or butter and spices. Sorry for rambling. This subject has become one of my interests.
@tanjaroiha9339
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Sam! I really like how you analyse and explane things, its very usefull information about autism. I have to make this comment about autism and HSP, cause Ive thought about this for a long time. I find theres a lot in common with what you describe about autism, in many ways (im not going to list here). But I find there is a major difference here, which comes in the area of being and understanding social situations. I think theese sensory issues, along with being sensitive to other peoples feelings does probably "push the same red buttons" and activate same areas in the brain. But as a whole, I think its a bit tricky to think HSP and autism work the same. For excample, I find most HSP:s being someone who is highly socially wired, for example have vivid face and body expressions and loves to interact at thouse small nonverbal levels. This however is not the case with most autistic persons, who I find differ in the way they express themself, especially emotionally and socially. HSP:s are very good in emotional intelligence and they use that in social situations, often working as mediators. Im not saying an autistic person couldnt be emotionally intelligent, but usually they struggle understanding social situations, which is guite opposite for HSP:s. They tend to read others and ease social situations so, that the athmosphere could be at ease. This of course is tireing and all this information causes the need to take time off from social situations and just being on your own, but I find this comes from different motive than from thouse who are autistic and probably get tired from struggling to understand, read and cope with the social situations and all the stimuli. So HSP:s get overloaded in the same way, but probably not from the same reasons and ususlly HSP:s love social situations and get also empovered by being around people and being socially active. I think the diversity is wide within our brains and in a way were all in a same line with having theese common symptons, but HSP do not struggle understanding social situations, on the contrary, they take digest themself too much information on different levels. If this is an autistic sympton and a feature, then the difference lies in how they are able to prosess and use this information.
@jukiepuffs806
4 жыл бұрын
I hate food prep sounds. Particularly people pouring drinks. I also have misophonia
@blufur9
4 жыл бұрын
I'm most likely autistic (undiagnosed) and I met my husband on Tinder LOL!
@BeautifulAwakening
4 жыл бұрын
Msged you on insta 💜
@trueblissconsciousness2821
4 жыл бұрын
Fellow flautist here.
@nononono792
4 жыл бұрын
I gave up on dating. Too many judgemental people. And i’m a complex person I guess.
@dorianmccarthy7602
4 жыл бұрын
7:28 im not familiar with tamberas. what does that refer to?
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
Sorry that was an auto captioning fail, I was talking about "timbre" which refers to the quality or feel of a sound.
@leov4751
3 жыл бұрын
Wait... you live in the Netherlands ? I live in Belgium :-)
@knut5328
3 жыл бұрын
eating noises is torture for me as well
@WrenGirl
2 жыл бұрын
I really like pizza, sushi, fried chicken. -says every American Except Sam is from Netherlands...
@Dime9764
3 жыл бұрын
I guess I’m married 😂
@trinasmith2792
Жыл бұрын
Yes! Chewing is the most disgusting sound! I have a physical reaction to it!
@Tcray430
11 ай бұрын
Just don't do it... Its just too much frustration. Relationships are already complicated. I dated an autistic woman b4. It just unbelievable what you have to go through to stay in the same page. She drove me crazy..
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
I did like the emoji joke. It is to much for a 30 years old to use emoji? I feel "meh" about it. 😕😐 Which is a emoji. Hans Aspergers has aspergers. Sorry, that another video. Oh that would be very clip bait video. Yo Samdy Sam vid was Hans Aspergers a Nazi?
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
You humour remind me of aspergers girl Anja Melissa. You could check out her channel if there was a link below.
@YoSamdySam
4 жыл бұрын
I'm giving that topic a wide berth! 😬
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Yo Samdy Sam That's fine.
@garyfrancis5015
4 жыл бұрын
Yo Samdy Sam I said that Hans Aspergers before that had aspergers. Yes his childhood in 1909 to 1920. He was socially isolated and had monologue about his favourite poet. Become a child psychologist. Study people behaviour which what Aspie do to fit in. Which is great he did that. Then the Nazi took over in the 1930's that is where the Hans aspergers story ends in your comment section.
@MS-yf9dw
Жыл бұрын
It drives me crazy when my wife or kids chew gum in my presence, I just can't stand it!
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