"I can't just say, 'I don't like the way this person's talking, I gotta get a drink' and leave them all by themselves."
Cityline host Tracy Moore is joined after the show by Brian Gluckstein to discuss some rules outlined in New York Magazine's Modern Etiquette Guide.
1. Listening is not the time for you to silently rehearse what you want to say next. We can see your eyes glazing over.
2. Avoid vague and cliché euphemisms for your privilege. “We’re comfortable”? Leave it in the ’90s. Be forthright or say nothing. They’ve already noticed!
3. Never show that you’re impressed by anyone. You might assume I’m saying you should hold yourself in such high regard that no one else would ever impress you. That is not what I mean. I’m counseling you never to be impressed based on my conviction that being impressed by people you meet is an implicit endorsement of the status competition that dogs so much of our social lives. We’re impressed by degrees and professional accomplishments and physical beauty and fame, none of which is the basis of lasting human connection. Developing affection for someone makes you more human; being impressed by someone makes you less.
4. Don’t tell people they look like other people. In the vast majority of circumstances, it is unacceptable to issue a verdict on the totality of someone else’s appearance. You cannot walk up to a stranger at a party and declare, “Wow, great waist-to-hip ratio, but you sure do have a noticeably large forehead!” Yet that is exactly what “You know who you look like?” is, except in code. “I have assessed you,” you are saying, “and here is my inscrutable decision.” So now the target of your observation gets to figure out if it was a compliment or an insult, and because beauty is subjective, there’s no way for them to know what you meant and no way for you to know how they received it - you simply cannot guess how the other feels about “young Barbra Streisand.”
5. When casually asked how you are, say “Good!” It’s neutral and doesn’t force someone to endure a trauma dump or a spiel on how “the world is up in flames.”
6. To gracefully exit a boring conversation, merge with another chatting duo, then sneak away unnoticed in the hubbub. They’ll see straight through “I’m going to the bathroom” or “I’m going to get another drink.” And “I’m gonna go make the rounds” is a bit cruel.
Let us know what you think in the comments!
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Cityline is the longest running and most successful daytime show for women in North American history. Host Tracy Moore brings her energy and enthusiasm along with her charismatic personality and flair for style - making her a perfect fit for North America's top source for the latest in home decor, food, entertaining, fashion, health and beauty.
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