Gotta love how the cheating ex doesn’t want his daughter to know that HE’S the reason that they got divorced…but he also will lie to his daughter about Op and make her the victim… Op, i’m soo sorry, your ex sounds like a pos and you SHOULD tell your daughter
@rashidasimmons6180
2 жыл бұрын
Tell her the truth... Fact is, he's probably using this as an excuse to not have the daughter there without actually having to be the guilty party...
@randomusername3873
2 жыл бұрын
Keeping the secret only protect the cheater
@ArmageddonAngel
2 жыл бұрын
Telling her the truth may not end the way op wants. Kids don't want to hate one of their parents, even if one is objectively wrong. Op tells the truth, dad lies and says mom's lying. See how she's keeping you from my wedding? The daughter will feel the pull between the two adults and that does no one any good.
@rashidasimmons6180
2 жыл бұрын
@@ArmageddonAngel depends on how she's told. It's not about getting her to hate the dad, it's about getting her to understand how the mom is feeling and why she wouldn't be okay with being there... I can explain that to my 4yr old niece in ways that she would understand...There are kid friendly ways. Her daughter is old enough and deserves an explanation. On some level, she probably already knows. And while OP is trying to be the "bigger person" the ex obviously isn't. The ex probably called her and blamed the OP which is why the daughter came down screaming at OP.
@anwarpine6797
2 жыл бұрын
Agreed, there are so many other options the dad could use to get everyone transported there. He is just making excuses and being manipulative. She doesn't even have to tell about the cheating part, she can simply let her daughter know how much hurt it causes her that the dad is getting remarried.
@beth4452
2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same. Plus he gets to play the victim
@Omgits7ito
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1. It’s really ignorant for op’s ex and in-laws to be so upset and shitting on op instead of offering to pick up the daughter. Knowing very well why she wouldn’t want to drop her daughter off at her ex’s wedding. Op’s daughter is old enough and I think it’s about time to tell her why her dad is a POS
@shells500tutubo
2 жыл бұрын
I'm sure he told them OP wouldn't let her daughter go to the wedding, NOT that he wouldn't pick her up. Cheaters lie like that. But OP is also the fool for not telling her teen-[aged daughter the facts,. She is allowing her daughter to live a lie, and her father is NOT a good father. You can bet he and his fiancee disparage OP every chance they get. The only solae OP can take is that when they get married a vacancy in the ex's life has opened up- that of mistress.
@noydb-1
2 жыл бұрын
Too late, daddy has already spun a fable where he is the hero, and mommy is the evil witch, so any story told by mommy now will be seen as the lie.
@emilybarclay8831
Жыл бұрын
@@noydb-1once the daughter finds out daddy was sticking his pickle into precious step mum long before her parents marriage ended, that’ll change real quick
@mrbadguysan
2 жыл бұрын
Never cover for a cheater, they’ll betray you twice.
@jerriewyatt905
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1… Now’s the time OP’s daughter is told the truth.. the dad has gotten away with not telling the facts long enough..
@AnimeMe40
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: NTA. I’d tell EX he has until tonight to set your Daughter straight or YOU WILL. And that you will intend on tell her EVERYTHING. The cheating, the one thing you asked, and the “I don’t want to make the some trip twice” comment.
@mpmansell
2 жыл бұрын
I suggest just doing it straight and let him have no opportunity to spin things.
@neil999ish
2 жыл бұрын
@@mpmansell Completely agree. Give him no time for "spin" manufacture.
@ldannu5627
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah totally agree !
@paden1865able
2 жыл бұрын
Stop shielding people from the consequences of their own actions at the expense of your own well being. You owe your ex nothing based simply on the level of his betrayal. Tell her the truth; you're going to have to do it some time in her life.
@ldannu5627
2 жыл бұрын
This will come back and bite her in the back ,when her daughter finds out ! Why protect that pee stain any longer ? It'd be better telling her now because If and when she finds out ,,she will be so angry at her mom As well ! I
@bluesapphire4262
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: OP, you need to absolutely tell your daughter the truth. It would means that she would be hurt by her dad´s action, yes. But at this point, there´s no way to shield her from the betrayal, thanks to your ex bringing her in the middle of this shitshow, so at the very least she should know the truth and redirect her feeling to the one responsible.
@meridianx9020
2 жыл бұрын
I'm sick of people NOT telling their kids the truth about a parent. You don't have to be an arse about it, but when a parent does something reprehensible, the child needs to know so they can use their own judgement about that parent. Otherwise, the parent gets a free pass, and the child has no idea about the character of that parent and so is exposed to continuing, hidden, toxicity.
@neil999ish
2 жыл бұрын
Agree completely, when the daughter does find out there are going to 2 ah's in her life 1. The father for cheating and destroying the family. 2. The mother for not telling her earlier. Their daughter is old enough at 14 to know the truth!
@MrJpaynebb
2 жыл бұрын
The ex never wants his daughter to know about his betrayal and OP is waiting for her to be age appropriate for the discussion. She's a teenager and while it's not necessary to go into full details it's time for OP to tell her the truth and the divorce before daddy dearest spins a tale to their daughter.
@demondogmom7221
2 жыл бұрын
At 14, your daughter needs to know the truth when she asks. You are allowed to say "it still hurts me that you father fell in love with someone else when we were still married, and while I'm fine with you attending the wedding, it's his responsibility to get you to and from it. I'm sorry this makes you unhappy, but this is his responsibility."
@LLandS18
2 жыл бұрын
Be honest to your children don't lie to them don't protect your ex. The only relationship you are damaging by not being honest with your child is yours and hers. Then her father is going to come out looking like a saint and you're going to come out looking bitter. Stop lying. The reason your ex is able to manipulate your child is because you are letting him. You are being dishonest and you are covering up the truth for a cheater a betrayer and a terrible person. Why? Who exactly are you protecting not your daughter. Your ex that's who you're protecting that's who you're expanding all this energy that's who you're damaging your relationship with your child for you're cheating X. I mean tell her in an age-appropriate way but be honest
@EnDB
2 жыл бұрын
1st one He's causing trouble, spill the friggin' beans.
@ghostdragon5735
2 жыл бұрын
1nta it’s easy fix “ sweetie. Your father cheated on me with the woman that he’s getting married to after 20 years of being together. And now instead of picking you up to go to his wedding with his mistress he decided her parents are more important than you
@coureenlawrence4915
2 жыл бұрын
Agreed, why do parents shield their children from the truth.
@jacquelineanderson5011
2 жыл бұрын
1. Would like an update. Tell your daughter the truth.
@bbjjbb61
2 жыл бұрын
Uh...OP's mom is only "forgetful" when it doesn't matter to her. She was competing with MIL so she got a grand beautiful cake. She's being a dramatic manipulator.
@chantalalexander
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. And to further highlight that fact, she makes the child's party about her by throwing a public tantrum and immediately leaving. Why didn't "good grandma" keep her mouth shut about the assumed slight until after the party, and staying to celebrate the grandson she supposedly cares so much about.
@meOW0131
2 жыл бұрын
OP's mom never "forgot" things, she just didn't want to do them so her excuse was that she "forgot". I'd keep her away from my kids.
@mikchik00
2 жыл бұрын
If you’re humiliated by learning basic biology then you are a sad person.
@jperalez5127
2 жыл бұрын
Preach👏🏼 can it Janet
@AndyyWithAY
2 жыл бұрын
That one commenter is so spot on. Why can't any of the relatives calling OP TA pick up the daughter?? This whole thing sucks. Somehow OP is the bad guy when she's the injured party and innocent. The dad is horrible.
@elzbietabetlej4085
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1:her ex xlearly wants to show himself off to his ex wife and rub it in her face he has moved on. he does not care for his daughter, that she can be unhappy, that she has no other means to take her. op should simply tell her the reason of the divorce and be done with it.
@AnimeMe40
2 жыл бұрын
Story 3: NTA. She has a history of being unreliable, I would have gotten a back up cake too. If she doesn’t want you to think so little of her she needs to start following through on her commitments, not act like your the villain for expecting the pattern to reappear.
@daylamore3300
2 жыл бұрын
She made herself the victim. Lol Like how do you forget to make a dish for a party, but still attend that party? Lol nahhh
@lamwen03
2 жыл бұрын
OP should not have laid out the backup cake. And she should apologize. Her mother did, in fact, remember, and all the comments about what she did previously have nothing to do with THIS party.
@Swodah
2 жыл бұрын
@@lamwen03 Yeah i agree, from personal experience my dad was bad at contact with both me and my siblings, when he visited my siblings and tried to be the best dad he could he would get constantly berated by their mom, to the point that he often dreaded being there any tinger than an hour. It's not good for the kids to finally see their dad and the only thing there seems to be time for is their mother complaining and denigrating him. In the case of this neglectful mother, she came through and did great, but she got almost instantly slapped for her past mistakes instead of being thanked and welcomed now. It is fine to have the backup cake, but don't shame her like this when she not only brought a cake, but apparently an amazing one. It takes 2 people to mend a relationship, if 1 person rejects the other the process cannot go on.
@annapplegoldfinch6931
2 жыл бұрын
@@Swodah Did you miss the part where the mom only decided to bring the cake AFTER OP's mother and sister-in-law offered to bake the cake? Am I the only one getting huge competition vibes from the mom?
@paulinadeboer3604
2 жыл бұрын
@@daylamore3300 well she forget a lot of things, i think mum has go to the doctor it sounds like early stage of dementia. My dad had this, they realy forgot things.
@MN-zh2vd
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1, it's going to be a lot of fun watching your ex husband get divorced over and over. That's where this crap ends. Keep your head up, and tell your daughter the truth of what happened. Now that he's trying to demonize you, you no longer have a choice. Let him deal with the full consequences of his actions.
@whitneybennett5076
2 жыл бұрын
I think the daughter is old enough to now know what really happened to her parents' marriage. She's a teenager now; she's not in elementary school. OP's scumbag ex knows he's going to benefit from the circumstances no matter what happens. He finds an excuse to not pick up the daughter himself and OP has to bring her, which means he gets the opportunity to rub in her face that he's becoming "eternally bonded" to this other woman. Or else OP doesn't bring her and the ex will be able to use that to make her look like a nasty, spiteful ex-wife, which will almost certainly turn the daughter against her mother. Which is why OP needs to tell their daughter the truth; obviously the ex will never be honest about it.
@chinavaughan6383
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: Poor OP. She has to deal with the pain of her husband cheating on her AND dealing with her AH ex-husband. His wedding planning, or lack there of, isn’t OP’s problem🙂 Story 2: OP’s husband is right, that’s just how it is. Why do stepparents feel that their kids are deserving of money and property that their partners’ family has simply because they married into the family?🤔 Story 3: Mom’s forgetfulness is something that OP took into account when planning her son’s birthday. OP was well within her rights to look out for her son’s needs Story 4: Ah, yes, another person who can dish it out but can’t take it. OP did nothing wrong. If someone keeps poking you, you’re allowed to poke back😏 Story 5: If OP acted like their parent, the mom would probably have an issue with that😒
@annapplegoldfinch6931
2 жыл бұрын
OP in the second story might've overstepped a bit, but I'm seriously disturbed by all these commenters acting like Mariah isn't the husband's family when he's been raising her since she was a toddler. If I heard my father figure talking about me like that, I would've been heartbroken.
@chinavaughan6383
2 жыл бұрын
@@annapplegoldfinch6931 This house belonged to the husband’s parents and he may have felt that they would have wanted it to be passed down to their biological grandchild. OP’s husband took responsibility for caring for her daughter, but his parents didn’t. The husband did offer to help OP save up money for her daughter. I think OP is very fortunate to have found a man who was willing to support another man’s child physically, emotionally and financially. OP should look to her daughter’s maternal and paternal grandparents for help with establishing her daughter’s future.
@annapplegoldfinch6931
2 жыл бұрын
@@chinavaughan6383 Why just the bio granddaughter though? Didn't the grandparents love their non-bio granddaughter too? I'm sorry. There are a lot mixed families in my extended family and I can't imagine treating someone that your son raised as a daughter separately from your biological family.
@chinavaughan6383
2 жыл бұрын
@@annapplegoldfinch6931 From what I learned from another poster, OP’s daughter rejected her husband’s offer to adopt her and said that she didn’t see his parents as her grandparents. Given the girls’ unwillingness to embrace either the husband or his parents, I can understand the husband’s decision not to add her to the ownership of his family home.
@GiordanDiodato
2 жыл бұрын
@@chinavaughan6383 oof
@cassievalerio3007
2 жыл бұрын
What is funny is that Op's daughter in story two doesn't want to be adopted by the husband, but yet Op wants the husband to leave the house to her. You can't have it both ways
@annapplegoldfinch6931
2 жыл бұрын
Where is that written? Does the story have an update or an edit?
@stirlingarcher7972
2 жыл бұрын
@@annapplegoldfinch6931 the OP replied in the comments. The daughter refused to be adopted by the husband and flat out told the grandfather she didn’t see him as her grandfather/member of her family.
@buildman126
2 жыл бұрын
@@stirlingarcher7972 source :^)
@Swamp_Queen
2 жыл бұрын
@@stirlingarcher7972 ah. That does change things. I wish XO would include these things.
@chinavaughan6383
2 жыл бұрын
@Wei Luo Thank you! Where are OP’s parents or the bio father’s parents? Maybe they have property for her daughter to inherit.
@UchuKejiMovan
2 жыл бұрын
It's always weird when someone says a cheater is a good parent. How can a person who is knowingly committing actions that will destroy their kid's family dynamics?
@Sixdawg06
2 жыл бұрын
What do you mean? Being a good parent is different from being in a relationship. Being a good parent is being their for your kid., and has to deal with the relationship between the parent and child. People love to pass judgement on others situations. What does that have to do with the kids other parent? Even if someone is a a hole and cheats on their spouse that has nothing to do with them being a good parent. It speaks to that persons character. Yes stability of a home is important for the development of kids and can be connected to the overall happiness of the kid, but co parenting when done right is also good for some kids. The way a parent treats a kid is correlated to their views of the other parent but isn’t a direct correlation for anyone mature enough to actually be a parent.
@UchuKejiMovan
2 жыл бұрын
@@Sixdawg06 a good parent does not cheat and destroy their children's family. If it's bad enough for the marriage to end then a good parent ends it in a way in which there's no way the kids can harbor bitterness towards one parent.
@UchuKejiMovan
2 жыл бұрын
@@Sixdawg06 you can't be there for your kid if you're with AP
@greenbrickbox3392
2 жыл бұрын
Being a good parent is different than being a good partner in a monogamous relationship and someone can be good at one while being terrible at the other. Obviously cheating is bad but not all relationships are healthy and people can make terrible decisions/mistakes regarding romantic relationships while still being good parents.
@UchuKejiMovan
2 жыл бұрын
@@greenbrickbox3392 a cheater cannot be a good parent just because they show their kids it's okay to hurt someone you say you love. Imagine a cheating parent lecturing their kid on loyalty 🤦🏾♂️🤣
@michelleheid106
2 жыл бұрын
I cheated on my first husband and married my AP. My son was 6. He was always told the truth. My child from my 2nd marriage also knows the truth. Why do parents lie when 1 partner cheated. Both me children now 27 and 17 understand my cheating was wrong but are fine with everyone. If cheating is wrong why wouldn't lying and cheating be worse. It is easier for children to forgive if you are honest about mistakes.
@hahap5411
2 жыл бұрын
It don’t matter is your kid is 5, 10 or 20. TELL YOUR KIDS THE TRUTH. Because once the truth does come out… it’s more worse of a feeling. A bigger betrayal. Stop hiding the truth for the other spouse. Gets you no where.
@hilarymurray8741
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1. Absolutely NTA. I would feel the same. It is his circus, he can do the arranging. Do not set yourself on fire ( and I agree, it would) to keep the piece of trash you married, happy. When your daughter blames you, tell her you are not being nasty but you will explain it to her when she is old enough to understand, say, 18.
@AnimeMe40
2 жыл бұрын
Final Story: NTA. So you can’t be a parent that also plays video games with them? She just doesn’t want to step up, so she’s demanding you step down.
@briangarrow448
2 жыл бұрын
First story-No cabs or Uber available? Sheesh! Not your job to drive daughter.
@tracim3080
2 жыл бұрын
The response to the daughters should have been “why can’t your dad come get you if he really wants you there?”
@lalvarez5151
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1-ESH. The dad for being an AH and Op for lying to her daughter. Why shield your daughter from her AH father? OP is at fault for not telling the truth. Eventually her daughter will hate her so much she won't believe the father cheated. She still has a chance to get her daughter back
@briansmaller7443
2 жыл бұрын
Last story - if the OP acted more like a parent, then the bio-mother would be berating her for overstepping. No win situation here. OP NTA. Just carry on. Kids seem to be enjoying themselves. Sounds like the perfect step-child/parent relationship. And all those commenters going on about age gaps - SMH - just go away now.
@lamwen03
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah. The kids are only there on week-ends, what is she supposed to do? Sounds like a very good operation.
@mamakitty6549
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: tell your daughter. Stop lying to her and tell her. Keep it age appropriate but don't set yourself on fire to keep them warm.
@cnow82
2 жыл бұрын
WTF?! Why are there so many stories where the cheated on party doesn’t tell the kids?! Inevitably, that backfires on them. Stop protecting cheaters!!!! WTF is going on with this? If she doesn’t eventually she will be manipulated by the dad to save his ass. And estranged from her kid. HE made that decision to cheat. Now he needs the repercussions of his actions 🙄.
@grinningweirdo4888
2 жыл бұрын
Imagine trying yo force your ex (you know the one you destroyed a 20 year relationship over cheating) to drive your daughter to your wedding and not expecting anything bad to happen like your ex telling your daughter something you don’t want her to know like I don’t know the reason your marriage ended
@kitsumekat
2 жыл бұрын
First story: Tell your ex's family that you're willing to let her go to the wedding. But, your ex isn't willing to come pick her up since he was picking his in-laws up instead.
@stadot1427
2 жыл бұрын
That's what I was thinking. Every time one of his family texts, just text back: oh, then you're willing to come get her? Sweet, what time can you get her?
@samanthasmiles9112
2 жыл бұрын
"Not all daughter in laws are capable of carrying out a son" is an OFFENSIVE and innapropriate statement. And it is idiotic. The sex IS determined my the MAN and has NOTHING to do with the woman. Additionally, the MIL had ONE child and judging a woman (who already has 2 kids) for not having another child. MIL sounds like a narcissist - holding others to standards that she, herself, didn't meet. Lol
@alyzu4755
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: Let me get this straight: He cheats on his wife of 20 years AND is marrying his AP, refuses to pick his own daughter up, lies to said daughter about why OP won't drop her off at the wedding, gets his side of the family to trash OP, and now wants to keep the truth of his affair from their daughter? Scr*ew that! Story 2: OP needs to listen to her sister. She's being an AH.
@dianecole148
2 жыл бұрын
Tell your child the truth. Tell him to send an Uber.
@randomusername3873
2 жыл бұрын
And that's why you expose the cheater
@maurer3d
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: NTA, your ex-husband is blaiming you for something that is his fault.... Tell her the truth, you can't let him lie to her constantly to make you look bad.
@mikehilbert9349
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: Absolutely not the ahole. This is daddy's Dbag move. Tell the daughter the reason for the divorce and the reason you don't want to take her anywhere near their celebration of cheating.
@DevjKaiser
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: OP better reinforce that shiny spine and stick to her boundaries. Tell your daughter who his father is marrying, how that relationship started etc. Don’t shield her period.
@jamestown8398
2 жыл бұрын
I hope OP in story 1 tells her daughter about her ex's affair. I hope this causes daughter to disown her father, go no-contact with him for the rest of his life, and change her surname to her mother's maiden name.
@amerlin388
2 жыл бұрын
Story 4. I'm picturing the grandmother's expression if there had been a quipster at the baby shower to say, "Maybe one of the daughters will end up Trans, then everybody wins."
@sequoyasierra5671
2 жыл бұрын
OP really needs to tell the daughter now that all this crap has happened. The daughter is hurt and disappointed in her mother without understanding the context of why OP won't help HER to get to the wedding. If OP doesn't want to lose her daughter to her father and his new bride (who she admits is nice to the daughter) OP needs to give her daughter context as to why OP didn't want to facilitate this marriage even in so minor a way. She needs to make sure the daughter understands that her ex-husband cheated on not only OP but the family itself with the woman he is marrying and that OP thought they were happily married and hadn't been told otherwise so she could try to fix things between OP and dad. She needs to make sure the daughter understands that OP wanted to stay married until he cheated.
@stirlingarcher7972
2 жыл бұрын
Story 2: OP’s daughter told OP’s husband’s father she doesn’t see him as family. She doesn’t get to inherit his house if she didn’t consider him her grandfather.
@AnimeMe40
2 жыл бұрын
Story 2: YTA. I get that it’s kind out of the blue, but I don’t think it’s something worth starting a fight over.
@piratekit3941
2 жыл бұрын
I misheard the entire part where it was HIS father, NOT OP's, and I was like "What, why did a he get a property and not OP?!?" before I had to go back again. Yeah, YTA for sure.
@nc4441
2 жыл бұрын
I disagree the kids were babies when they got together he's the only father her child knows it wasn't like she was asking him to not leave anything to his daughter she asked him to split the house between the girls equally since he's already giving his entire inheritance to his bio daughter, plus she has other inheritance coming from other parties, also OP was going to be making all the repairs to the house with her own money, she can spend her money on the house repairs but can't have a say in the home? they are legally married for 13 yrs she has a complete right to ask him to split the house between both kids since they raised them together he has made it clear to OP that its okay for her to give to his daughter but her daughter doesn't deserve the same I am not saying he can't do what he wants its his stuff but he's completely destroyed the relationship with that one It'd be different if the kids were older in age when OP and husband got together, but they were infants which completely changes the dynamic and makes him the ah for pretty much saying he never cared about her child as his own like how she's treats his kid she's likely reevaluating the entire relationship to look for the missed red flags when he's treated her daughter as less than her sister and this will break their sister bond 100% when Op bio daughter eventually finds out "my dad doesn't love me as much as my sister cause I'm not biologically his even though he's the only dad I know" his reasoning is what will destroy the marriage he should've just BS and said his dad wanted the house to go to his bio daughter, instead he tells her that its only going to his kid cause she his bio kid, so what is OP's daughter? Is she not his daughter too?? did he not raise her too?
@brigidtheirish
2 жыл бұрын
Agreed. OP's daughter isn't even *legally* his daughter from what's said. Maybe if he'd adopted OP's daughter, OP would have a leg to stand on. As is, *no.*
@annapplegoldfinch6931
2 жыл бұрын
@@brigidtheirish Legalities be damned. That man's raised her since she was a toddler. Does that mean nothing to anyone?
@brigidtheirish
2 жыл бұрын
@@annapplegoldfinch6931 Well, OP's daughter *refused* to be adopted by him, so I guess that's your answer. You're acting like the house is the only asset the husband has. He's offered to make the future inheritance even in other ways but OP is fixated on the house, the husband's *childhood home.* We don't know how long that house has been in the family. If it's like my paternal grandparents' house, there's no *way* splitting it among the kids and selling it would be an option.
@Mx-rr3qm
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1 is the reason why I feel there is no justice in this world.
@lovelysakurapetalsyt
2 жыл бұрын
3rd one, NTA. It's good you got a backup cake, getting a backup cake is a good idea with a small kid anyways just to smash on! It's entirely your mom's fault for acting like it's amazing that she ONE TIME followed through with a promise!
@SpaceGeek2161
2 жыл бұрын
The thing that gets me, though, is why would OP bring out the backup cake during the party when her mom already brought a cake? Is there any reason BESIDES wanting to humiliate/punish her mother? I get that it's really irritating that her mother is competing with her MiL for "perfect Grandma", but it just seems spiteful to do this when her mother actually did the right thing for once.
@lovelysakurapetalsyt
2 жыл бұрын
@@SpaceGeek2161 Uhhh OP literally said she decided it would become a cake for her son to slam his hands into bcs he's a small kid. That's the reason she brought it out anyways
@TimothySmith-yh4fu
Жыл бұрын
Story 1: never protect your cheating spouse, especially from your children. They deserve the truth.
@Letha-AnnCooper
Жыл бұрын
Funny how cheaters never think their children should have the information that they cheated. So the other parent looks bad. They always try to manipulate the children into thinking that they are innocent and being persecuted
@alanerickson3075
2 жыл бұрын
story1; OP needs to tell her daughter why she can't go near her exe's wedding and not sugarcoat it. Her daughter needs to know the truth about her and the exe's real relationship or the whole situation is really going to spiral into a massive crap storm of biblical proportions.
@lkayh
2 жыл бұрын
Gotta LOL at the last one as well. Most moms would have problems with a stepmom who acted too much like a mom. Also nuts to the Redditors who decided to tell her about her relationship with her SO. She wasn’t asking about that.
@marylowther8495
Жыл бұрын
Story one: Time to tell the daughter everything. Expecting the wronged wife to help with the adulterous wedding is just so despicsble, and the daughter needs to know.
@Symphonia30
2 жыл бұрын
Why do these people think after it’s all right to humiliate someone, but when they get humiliate back they have to be crybabies about it?
@mainegardenguy703
2 жыл бұрын
Daughter should have been told about cheating dad years ago. Cheaters are not trustworthy and inherently make bad rolemodels and parents.
@samanthasmiles9112
2 жыл бұрын
St 1 - My sister and I are half siblings. I would NEVER expect to get anything from her grandparents. Same with my Grandma. She left me an inheritance and my sis NEVER expected anything because... she didn't know my Grandma. The father-in-law is leaving HIS home to HIiS child and grandchildren. That does not include your kid. You're acting entitled to something your daughter has no right too. Now my parents home will be split 50/50. But we each have a seperate families.
@michellemybelle1231
2 жыл бұрын
Why is OP hiding the truth from her daughter that her dad is a cheater?? She is definitely old enough to know and she should. No respect for cheaters!!
@lalvarez5151
2 жыл бұрын
Story 2-YTA. From her edit it sounds like her daughter didn't want to be adopted by the step father, and said the grandma wasn't his grandpa. At that point she deserves nothing
@unicornjennie
2 жыл бұрын
TELL HER THE TRUTH. SHE'S OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW THE TRUTH. Of course he doesn't want her to know the truth then he's has to be the bad guy, because he is the bad guy. He's continuing to victimize you and his daughter. His priority isn't his daughter and he thinks he's a good dad? I bet his future wife doesn't know he's a cheater too.
@Vipre-
2 жыл бұрын
S1: OP, grow a spine. All you're doing by not telling your daughter is protecting your ex and worse doing it at your expense. He doesn't deserve a free pass like that. S3: Why was OP's birthday a "reminder of the worst day of her life"? Was OP the result of a SA and no one bothered to tell her?
@sandyberger-r9j
Жыл бұрын
I am baffled that people think of leaving their house to their kids when there is so much that can go wrong, like unemployment, fees for a nursing home, medical bills ect.
@missspell4897
Жыл бұрын
Story 1: tell him you’ll do it but you’re going to tell your daughter what happened, why he can’t pick her up, and why it hurts your feelings. He has no problem making you the bad guy and possibly ruin your relationship with your daughter even after you did him the favor of not telling your daughter he cheated.
@PatrickCervantez
2 жыл бұрын
Just tell your daughter. She's old enough to understand what infidelity is and if it causes a rift between her, your ex, and his side-piece c'est la vie. He'll cheat again anyways, so one way or another it'll be water under the bridge.
@tracim3080
2 жыл бұрын
So he has been her dad for 13 years but just told you how he does not see her as his even tho he has been raising her for almost her entire life. That’s something that could end the marriage honestly. If he was only ever going to see her as a step kid then he should have told op that when they got married. Forget the money and house. The issue is that he sold op on them being one family but now decided they are two families.
@Kblmquist
2 жыл бұрын
Last story, I’m 54 and about 5 years ago all my kid tried to get me into gaming. I just assumed I was to old and wouldn’t be accepted in the gaming community so I kept saying no 4 years ago we lost everything to a house fire family helped us get a roof over our heads, clothes she’s food and basic necessities. As time went by I knew I needed a new computer but all the extra cash from my job went to the kids needs first. My oldest son is out of college has a job but still lives with us as he wants to save money. One day I came home to our extended stay and the kids not only bought me a computer but a nice gaming computer. I think my first game was Portal. But now I love gaming with my kids. I’m so glad they did this for me because I am having so much fun. I think it was Fallout 3 that I would do funny things like collect body parts. I work in healthcare so I have a twisted mind. They still have a good laugh at my collection. We also trade books and stuff.
@manxiefeathermoon9888
2 жыл бұрын
What's with the bullshit idea that sons are more important than daughters? The legacy should have never been passed down by just sons. Both children should pass it down.
@lynettephillip2412
8 ай бұрын
I would have told my daughter the real deal!!
@andreamaclachlan980
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1, pattern of behaviour from adulterous 'dad'. He dodges out of commitments. First his first wife and mother of his daughter. Totally screwed that commitment. Now he's backing out of another commitment, the one HE MADE TO HIS WIFE-AGAIN- to pick up their daughter! He gave his word, now he's trashing it, over and over. This is ON HIM. Floozy #2 needs to wake up.
@cheskydivision
2 жыл бұрын
Don’t keep secrets from your children.. DONT COVER FOR CHEATER.
@noydb-1
2 жыл бұрын
This is why you never protect a cheater's reputation for them. They will always replace the truth with a twisted fable where they are the hero. Now no matter what story you tell, it will be the lie that mommy told, because daddy told me the truth first. Find an age appropriate way to tell them that daddy left mommy because he has a new girlfriend and doesn't love mommy anymore. If it makes him look bad, so what, he is bad.
@hanoh2904
2 жыл бұрын
Just say to any relative of his to pick her up if they have time to send hateful texts and tell the daughter that he would prefer to pick up his in laws than her
@reinventingmelissa2061
Жыл бұрын
I legit don't understand why people don't tell the truth. In story 1, I would reply to every single text with the full explanation of why I wasn't taking the daughter -- including that he had agreed to do it. I would lay out the infidelity, my heartbreak, and how I feel. And I would offer to let them come pick her up since they clearly love her so much.
@terriedupuy1625
Жыл бұрын
House.. didn't he offer to put the money aside and continue to add to it for the benefit of his stepdaughter?
@SummonerOrthan
2 жыл бұрын
That woman only brought a cake out of spite. Any other reason she would have fucking forgot lol
@annhans3535
Жыл бұрын
OH Lord. I really can't stand those people who can't leave their beds for days because they got hurt by someone. I view that as a pitiful way to gain attention.
@JJerseyGirl
2 ай бұрын
1st story- Tell your daughter in age appropriate terms, surely the daughter has classmates whose parents divorced because of cheating. Also, he lied on you but tell the truth about him.
@zoe9190
2 жыл бұрын
I believe in telling your kids the truth, no matter how hard the truth is, it can be done in age appropriate manner. If you dont think you are able, you can do some therapy sessions to help tell them with an unbiased third party
@aryanblitzkrieg9771
2 жыл бұрын
Can you imagine if your mom had "forgotten" to bring the cake?
@Bleg94
2 жыл бұрын
1. Story: NTA same as always, NEVER protect a cheater from their deserved consequences, tell the daughter
@mayurakshimukherjee7948
2 жыл бұрын
Story 2, yes your daughter is not entitled to your husband's childhood home. Is your ex going to leave anything to your step-daughter?
@AnimeMe40
2 жыл бұрын
Story 4: NTA. She started crap fully knowing it would piss you off, she just didn’t count on you calling her out. The only thing I will note is that the man doesn’t have control over what gender the child is ether, but honestly I wouldn’t care at that point ether.
@hopetirendi2386
2 жыл бұрын
Wah wah wah Janet's wittle feelings got hurt...too bad so sad!
@heatheraucoin5832
2 ай бұрын
S1- I hope the daughter will do the calculations about her dad and see that after 20 years of marriage to OP, he got married to a woman after 1 year of knowing each other.
@Lorgar64
2 жыл бұрын
"Why is there such an obvious lack of cars in his family?" Maybe they're Californian?
@ggjr61
Жыл бұрын
Birthday Cake Story: With mom being unreliable it’s a good idea to have a backup but if she comes through don’t tell about the backup if you want to encourage her to keep it up. Instead talk up what a great job she did. Make it pleasant for her to follow through on her promise. Of course if you don’t want her too let her know you didn’t need her and it was a waste of her time to do it. I suggest saving letting her know you have backup plans for when she fails. She’s more likely to feel guilty and come through the next time. All that said I suspect you haven’t forgiven your mother and don’t want her around anyway.
@PiscesMoon2You
2 ай бұрын
Story 1, OP it's time to tell your daughter the truth and what is going on. Tell her you wanted to spare her so she could still have a relationship with her Dad but she's old enough to know the truth.
@confettiveda2460
2 жыл бұрын
I never understand why OPs that agreed not to tell the kids why they got divorced to protect the relationship between the child and the cheating partner keep up the secret even when the cheating partner starts trying to compromise the other relationship. Like, scorch the earth, they already have a lighter.
@annewilliams3874
2 жыл бұрын
Story 2 :- the house and all other previous "goods and chattels" are NOTHING to do with YOUR daughter, as unfair as it feels to you. They were/will be left, eventually, to HER, through her BIOLOGICAL FATHER'S connection. YOUR daughter, having NO BIOLOGICAL connection to the "leavers", is really due absolutely nothing out of all the inheritances. Yes, it sucks, and you can but hope that your SD will be a kind and loving SS and will share some of her bounty with her SS. However, please remember that this DOESN'T give licence to bully, extort or just plain be NASTY to her to HOUND her into giving away her inheritance to her SS. OP, YTA,sorry.
@mesquitemagic
2 жыл бұрын
His family could pick her up if they're so worried about this. You do not have to take your daughter to the side-chick's wedding. Dad and side-chick shoud be figuring this out.
@travissullivan6575
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1: NTA. Tell daughter the reason she won't take him and the reason for the divorce.
@dm9078
2 жыл бұрын
I never understand these people who allow themselves to be doormats for the people who cheated on them! If he hasn’t adopted the daughter she really isn’t entitled to his family assets. But the person who warned about the inherited asset becoming marital asset were right. In my state the spouse only needs to live in the house for 10 years before the house becomes a marital asset. OP NTA but she’s an idiot for letting this woman back in her life. Since she’s essentially their contemporaries of course they are close to her.
@jazzyg7202
2 жыл бұрын
Story one: the father and parents are ah and when they stated she is ruining the wedding op should have responded like how the ex ruined a 20 year marriage.
@Froshow
2 жыл бұрын
You don't want to apologize because you buying a backup cake, is The result of her forgetting everything and your childhood. So She has feelings about a backup cake SHE needs to go deal with
@josephbrown9665
Жыл бұрын
When you are married and you plan on leaving your house to one of the kids you have to do use for your spouse to use until they pass but they have to upkeep the house until they pass as well as taxes.
@standinthegsp6858
2 жыл бұрын
Sit your daughter down & explain in very basic age appropriate terms the reason why your marriage broke up. Those that are blowing up your phone need to be told the truth too.
@tannerwilson1277
Жыл бұрын
They didn't want the daughter at the wedding and couldn't come up with a reason for her not to come OP set her boundary
@hilarymurray8741
2 жыл бұрын
Cake story. NTA. What did your mother mean by you reminding her of "the worst day of her life"? If she meant your birth, perhaps she has residual negativity about your birth and this is impacting on her reliability in relation to keeping agreements with you. In this case, don't rely on her for anything, without telling her you won't. Your bio mother wants to 'make up' for her absence during your childhood. In truth, this is not possible. It is what it is but don't let her complaints about not receiving the kudos she doesn't deserve mean your in lnlaws, who do deserve the kudos, go short.
@amerlin388
2 жыл бұрын
Story 1. If OP is going to tell daughter details about the divorce, be sure to tell her the FULL story. Why was husband unhappy enough to stray? Was divorce actually already on the table?. Separated? Did she show her husband she loves him? Did she regard him merely as a resource? Dead Bedroom? Did she only start lamenting how much she loved him after he was gone? Does she know there was actually an affair? A lot of people throw around the term emotional affair, which mostly means someone realizes how unhappy they are in current relationship.
@standinthegsp6858
2 жыл бұрын
Remind your mom about the boy who cried wolf... yes, the story is a different scenario but it comes out to similar consequences. Tell her that she’s forgotten things in the past, after promising, so you’ve learned she can’t always be counted on & you are forced to make backup plans. Also tell her that you will not be asking her to do things for you from now on because of her “forgetfulness” & her reaction to this incident. This means no taking you anywhere, no you asking her to bring a dish etc... still invite her to events but don’t count on her. I’d also suggest that she have a full medical checkup, including checking for strokes, dementia & early onset Alzheimer’s because her “forgetfulness” must either be a mental condition or just a severe lack of manners & responsibility
@mothertrucker936
2 жыл бұрын
S2 : yta wow just because your family hasn’t left anything to your daughter doesn’t mean your husband’s family owe anything you or her. Combined families are not entitled to the other’s inheritance nor student funds, family jewellery etc etc. For goodness sakes people get a prenup and sorry everything out before blending your family’s
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