I love how they call him “ex-pedophile” like it’s the end of a career.
@GringoBrasileiro2022
11 ай бұрын
Yeah. unfortunately, he was fired for creating a toxic work environment. The other pedophiles in the area really didn’t get along with him, which is a shame because he was very good at his job. I hope he can get back on his feet, and enter that line of work again.
@tyrantonion6660
8 ай бұрын
You just need to find that switch, an turn it off. Now you are a productive member of every society.
@MurielDeppman
8 ай бұрын
no such thing as ex pedophile
@kored8688
8 ай бұрын
@@MurielDeppman what are you talking about, didn't you watch the video? It clearly says "ex pedophile"
@MurielDeppman
8 ай бұрын
the DSM5 states that pedophiles dont change and cant be fixed. he may not act out but his nature is still there. gay people are still gay, and dont change @@kored8688
@aaronkozelii8300
5 жыл бұрын
“Bet you didn’t make it very far with that kid.” “Not that one, no.”
@zeekzero4550
4 жыл бұрын
*Not that one*
@HakoPseudo
4 жыл бұрын
Not that one
@blancanunez2401
4 жыл бұрын
*Not that one*
@1farin
4 жыл бұрын
-Not that one-
@babyhotline7998
4 жыл бұрын
nOt tHat oNe
@JRodriguez88
Жыл бұрын
Say what you will about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly through school zones.
@abeining
Жыл бұрын
Hahaha
@tyrannosauruszeppelin2205
Жыл бұрын
I'm gonna steal this one, haha
@Monsterenergy791
Жыл бұрын
@@tyrannosauruszeppelin2205 Me too, never heard it before, will steals it quickly
@snoopekittay316
Жыл бұрын
Hi I'm Kevin Spacey and welcome to my TED talk
@montyyy08
Жыл бұрын
You stole that from Scott Capurro 😂
@daikucoffee5316
6 ай бұрын
That actor is a very brave person considering just how impossibly stupid a lot of people are.
@poly_g6068
5 ай бұрын
My first thoughts exactly the dude has serious balls
@danitho
3 ай бұрын
This was over 14 years ago. The world wasn't as....everything it is now.
@drekwilliamton5830
3 ай бұрын
@@danitho ISN'T WHAT? HUH? SAY IT NAZI!! (This is satire)
@danitho
3 ай бұрын
@@drekwilliamton5830 😂😂 exactly on point
@drekwilliamton5830
2 ай бұрын
@@danitho I scare myself sometimes
@TheCostantinus
5 жыл бұрын
My parents must be proud of how unattractive I am
@DickBanton
5 жыл бұрын
Still, it probably only deterred about 90% of pedophiles.
@wendijoe2793
5 жыл бұрын
Very
@Chuked
4 жыл бұрын
Same Costantino
@reallyjusthalo
4 жыл бұрын
Same
@bartg6937
4 жыл бұрын
I mean, personally, I like a little rough and tumble. Right, gentlemen?
@PivotLover94
5 жыл бұрын
"Personally I prefer a kid that's been a little rough and tumbled" Lost it
@Me-eb3wv
5 жыл бұрын
Same
@Communist-Doge
5 жыл бұрын
It's "looks a little rough and tumble" not "been rough and tumbled", lol. To look "rough and tumble" just means to look dishevelled.
@severo3247
5 жыл бұрын
Lol heard him say it as soon as I read this
@marceslamar7839
5 жыл бұрын
This shit is wild😂
@fr-yj3vp
5 жыл бұрын
“Like” and not “liked”
@cloudyxsxies583
Жыл бұрын
Terry really has changed, it's heartwarming to see him volunteer at our local orphanage. All the kids there always look rough 'n tumble as a reminder that they don't have loving families, so its great that someone as kind as Terry will spend hours every weekend making memories with them
@mikez1328
Жыл бұрын
@@flat-earther A flat earther under an Onion video. They really do write themselves huh
@kyle--859
10 ай бұрын
@@mikez1328You have to tell me what those comments said, I need to know.
@pugachevskobra5636
10 ай бұрын
Lmfao
@MurielDeppman
8 ай бұрын
TROLL, and BS
@ssholez
6 ай бұрын
Making "creampiessss"
@bitterweet5115
Жыл бұрын
this guy really turned his life around, saw him adopting a little boy at my local orphanage 💕
@Kate-ve7zj
Жыл бұрын
What’s his name?
@Kate-ve7zj
Жыл бұрын
@Aysha Marks thx
@berserkagain7976
Жыл бұрын
dude did you hear the guy started a daycare and somehow he runs it all by himself what a impressive King. bro really turned his life around honestly really impressive.
@IdiotStinky02
Жыл бұрын
@@berserkagain7976 for real. I even heard the kids wanna start talking to grownups now. They do come home with bruises sometimes but all is good. They fall off slides like any kid does. Hes really a good manager of the local daycare! All of his wrong doings are in the past. Who needs a straining order? Rapists and Pedos only need to step up and change!
@imanigabbana6629
Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣
@thatgrumpycatmc6497
3 жыл бұрын
This feels like an r/askreddit "Ex-pedos of reddit, what tips do you give for keeping kids safe" "Not me but my friend"
@reginaldasare1751
2 жыл бұрын
It really does tho but my number one advice is to eat your cereal, that way the pedos respect you and leave you alone
@mohamedelnaggar2688
2 жыл бұрын
In text to speech voice
@manny_menin022
2 жыл бұрын
Eat your cereal my brother
@satashaahnberg7831
2 жыл бұрын
This. I always see that on rAskReddit Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger Edit 2: 327 upvotes for this? Haha wow that's the most I've ever gotten, thanks guys and gals and everything in between! Edit 3: WTF 600 upvotes wow thank you all so much this is the best birthday ever Edit 4: Thanks for all the birthday wishes fellow r/wooooshers. I tippeth mine hat to thee on this pleasant morrow. Edit 5: Ok, so this went viral overnight for some reason O_o 2000 motherflipping upboats I really have no words thank you all so much it means a lot! Edit 6: ok I'm noticing some toxic discussion happening in this reply chain and I feel the need to address it. Sexism and racism are not cool guys, so please cool it and continue the good vibes please and thank you! Edit 7: ok so I don't know why but I've received a lot of downvotes on this post recently, maybe i got raided by 4chan/b?? (commonly referred to as the "asshole of the internet" for those who aren't aware). I don't really ask for much but I was hoping we could show those losers a thing or two, so please give this post an upvote if you haven't already, it would mean the world to me and show these bullies you cannot mess with a good person. Edit 8: turns out my girlfriend cheated on me, so that happened :/ Edit 9: so people have been wanting me to clarify the previous edit. I don't have the energy to go into a lot of detail so the general gist of it is this: Yes we were in an open relationship, no that doesn't mean you can't cheat on someone when you're in an open relationship. If you are having sex regularly with someone and never mention it until they get you pregnant, that is definitely a betrayal of trust even if you've both agreed that she can have as many partners as she feels she needs to be comfortable. Edit 10: FYI, taking responsibility for the child does not make me any less of a man than you, actually it makes me more, so kindly flip off please and thank you
@ramonsbrainrot
2 жыл бұрын
@@satashaahnberg7831I want to know how long it took to type this, jeez
@jomy10-games
3 жыл бұрын
Let's have a moment of silence for all the kids who's moms thought this was real and now to go to school looking homeless.
@RoronoraZoro666
3 жыл бұрын
At least the poor kids have an excuse.
@medexamtoolsdotcom
3 жыл бұрын
Wait, you're saying the MOMS go to school looking homeless?
@maybejack3736
3 жыл бұрын
F
@dosoprod.3916
3 жыл бұрын
But they’re 90% less likely to be abducted
@Marta1Buck
3 жыл бұрын
@@RoronoraZoro666 yesn't
@FollowerofDuck
10 ай бұрын
this guy is legit! i saw him volunteering at the childrens hopsital and its so good that hes helping out the sick kids for hours on end! what a kind soul
@theflightguy777
10 ай бұрын
For real😂
@RanaldMcDanald
6 ай бұрын
Let me guess using the rectal thermometer and giving prostate exams. Working hard and getting his hands dirty…
@RanaldMcDanald
6 ай бұрын
I feel like I need to pray after making that joke. My soul feels dirty now. 😅
@stuckatthevalley
6 ай бұрын
@@RanaldMcDanaldlol
@KrolKaz
5 ай бұрын
It's nice to know that even the dregs of society can turn thier lives around and become a positive influence within thier communities. We should petition the white house to give him the annual Biden Sniffer Award for his dedication and service.
@bigdee5412
2 ай бұрын
The amount of people who don't readily recognize this is satire is almost as disturbing as the subject matter itself.
@Jetsmoke
Ай бұрын
I've never seen a single comment in a decade on this channel where somebody has misinterpreted the satire, but I've seen this comment a thousand times
@nox2sweet
Ай бұрын
@@Jetsmokelook at newest comments and you’ll see a few. Unfortunately you’ll see a few assholes not helping them out so it’s just a cesspool of idiots and assholes, gotta love the internet
@skateboarding118
18 күн бұрын
@@Jetsmokesort the comment section by “newest”, and you will see :)
@itchynights
4 жыл бұрын
i can't overstate how brave that actor is given how idiotic some of these commenters are.
@TheUnalteredMyth
4 жыл бұрын
itchynights Please tell me these were actors and this wasn’t real
@thewinner7382
4 жыл бұрын
@@TheUnalteredMyth are you dumb?
@TheUnalteredMyth
4 жыл бұрын
LikerOfThings Yes
@doryfishie2
4 жыл бұрын
@@TheUnalteredMyth Nah it's a real news network. It's 100% factual.
@AJ69238
4 жыл бұрын
@@GregoryRJ8 *the world's finest news source
@markrobins5035
3 жыл бұрын
Don't know why everyone's saying it's fake. Of course it's real, the Onion is one of the most reputable news sources out there
@bomberslug4854
3 жыл бұрын
No
@officialteaoflife9026
3 жыл бұрын
Use your brain cells please 😂 edit: the amount of ppl replying to comment i posted over a year ago is just stupid. you cant see that i get that the comment was supposed to be a joke now with over 20+ ppl telling?? dont waste ur time replying to this, someone has already said what you were going to
@jacobholland9287
3 жыл бұрын
@@officialteaoflife9026 You use yours. Only an idiot doesn't trust the Onion.
@blurrygorillaz973
3 жыл бұрын
Lmao the other people that commented on your comment do not get sarcasm
@bomberslug4854
3 жыл бұрын
@@blurrygorillaz973 I do
@adamlyons5446
2 ай бұрын
Sorting by new comments really let's us see how dumb people are now. Kinda spooky
@gigawarman12
Ай бұрын
I sometimes wonder if I overestimate peoples' intelligence
@Raiden0831
Ай бұрын
@@gigawarman12yes
@Hudoi-1
Ай бұрын
We're all people
@phobosex7504
Ай бұрын
facts
@jhwhthemerciful
Ай бұрын
I dont know whether you're serious but a lot of the comments here are just as fake as this interview. Then again. Your comment might be just another layer of this comedy.
@tylerfielding5311
Жыл бұрын
I reached out to Terry after watching this segment and offered him a job at my daycare. He always comes with a spring in his step and volunteers to watch them during nap time almost every day so I can go run errands. He’s truly changed.
@DakotaPawz_
Жыл бұрын
B u l l s h i t
@Alan_Page
9 жыл бұрын
I like how the male host says a really empty, talk show host "wow" after the female says "Terry actually kidnapped and sexually molested children for over 20 years."
@SWLinPHX
9 жыл бұрын
mrrusss They're professionals and have to appeal to a morning audience. Al talk show hosts do that a bit.
@MadCircle01
9 жыл бұрын
SWLinPHX "The Onion" which is the news source that made this is not real people come on! its news satire
@SWLinPHX
9 жыл бұрын
***** They're still good for morning hosts though. You have to be more cheerful on morning shows.
@Estragon17
8 жыл бұрын
+MadCircle01 The guy who plays Jim actually was a morning show host for years, which is one of the reasons he is so good at it.
@MikeyJMJ
6 жыл бұрын
Estragon17 The woman was brilliant as well especially at the end when she got all giddy while changing the subject.
@RW-hx2xe
4 жыл бұрын
I love how they introduce him like a hero lmao
@silverhusky7993
4 жыл бұрын
It's how the news show ex-Robbers and ex-Burglars.
@thesuperdoge2476
4 жыл бұрын
Ryan Walker I mean he's giving a really useful advice after all
@ricoco7891
4 жыл бұрын
Ryan Walker "Welcome to the show!" " Hey. Thanks for calling me" "Oh, thank you for *being* here"
@Newb118
4 жыл бұрын
Andre Bell what are u on about , your as bad as him you little rat
@Hugo-df8iz
4 жыл бұрын
Ryan Walker I fucken love you and you’re comment lol 😂 😂
@perkypokey
Жыл бұрын
He's such a great guy. He has recently devoted 100% of his time to helping our community. He volunteers Monday through Sunday to watch over the children at the playground down in the slums, to protect them from sexual predators. One day it began raining very hard, and within minutes he had pitched a tent and encouraged all the children to come into his tent with him to stay dry. Even after the rain had stopped, he kept those kids zipped up in his tent with him for an additional 3 hours because he knew the playground equipment was still slippery from the rain and didn't want anyone to get hurt. He's always thinking about what's best for the kids.
@damonliu3870
7 ай бұрын
hhaahahah
@ozzygrl1
6 ай бұрын
Are you right in the head??
@perkypokey
6 ай бұрын
@@ozzygrl1 Wait, do you think I was actually being serious with my comment? 😂🤣 You do realize that the video isn't real, right? It's satire, and so is my comment. 🤪
@thomasnewton2935
4 ай бұрын
@@ozzygrl1you're clearly not.
@Rudrakxh
Жыл бұрын
Pedophilia is such a minor issue.
@nunyabizness9909
Жыл бұрын
That is so mean and insensitive. I am using this joke
@aaa-my5xy
Жыл бұрын
i know right those poor minors
@ChallengeTheNarrative
11 ай бұрын
😂
@Astrashastra
11 ай бұрын
Lmao
@iamcrisis7586
2 ай бұрын
Bro i got mad for a split second then got the joke thats a good one 😭😭
@dylant2517
4 жыл бұрын
i see so many comments complaining about people who think it’s real but no one who actually thinks it’s real
@DrWiley-fm3ik
4 жыл бұрын
Sort by new.
@MrFriendlyCsgoContent
4 жыл бұрын
profile picture suits this comment perfect
@cobradragon-wt4tp
4 жыл бұрын
sort by new.
@ivybertram9347
4 жыл бұрын
Your profile pic is perfect for this comment
@MrFriendlyCsgoContent
4 жыл бұрын
@@ivybertram9347 I know right! I was just about to say the same.
@6feet301
4 жыл бұрын
The fact that people think this is real shows we are in a bad place in time (we in a bad fucking place🌚)
@princereyes2094
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, it sucks.
@tam06127
4 жыл бұрын
Wait it isn’t real???!!!
@sillyalana
4 жыл бұрын
@@tam06127 anything by the onion is fake, which is why when someone falls for these videos then people like to say that they "ate the onion" its pretty funny seeing people not get the joke.
@tam06127
4 жыл бұрын
pineapple :D ohhhhhh
@frizzttymto
4 жыл бұрын
Tam lmao
@vassilispetrides8841
Жыл бұрын
Bro, why tf is everyone saying this is satire? This is America’s finest news source!
@unknownuser4816
6 ай бұрын
Bro, nothing like sorting comments by "new" and read the comments of all the people who ate the onion
@MilfPredator04
5 ай бұрын
❤ haha so true
@gunfighterdrummer
4 жыл бұрын
1:49 “I bet you didn’t get far with that kid” “Not that one, no.”
@FaithfulOfBrigantia
4 жыл бұрын
Very dark joke right there
@kunal1957
4 жыл бұрын
I'm laughing so hard I'm sorry
@playfulpedophile9245
4 жыл бұрын
Becuase there ARE another ones, you idiot!
@lexiiissvlogsss7219
4 жыл бұрын
i was gonna say, are we not gonna talk about that?
@karolbomba6704
4 жыл бұрын
stolen comment
@cosmosofinfinity
3 жыл бұрын
I like how he advises them to make their kids look rough 'n' tumble, just like the kind he likes
@jzi4
3 жыл бұрын
I didn't even think about that lol
@blocke2551
3 жыл бұрын
he is a mastermind indeed
@phantom_noir5301
3 жыл бұрын
W ow
@aliciarobbinstherealtor
3 жыл бұрын
OH MY LORD that part I just have no words I was and am speechless, I just hope this is fake!
@phantom_noir5301
3 жыл бұрын
@@aliciarobbinstherealtor Everything on here is fake, no worries lmao.
@nikoladoctorov553
7 ай бұрын
My 6 years old brother was once bitten by a poisonous snake between his legs. Luckily Terry arrived in an instant to suck all the venom out. Hero 11/10
@Gweb52
Жыл бұрын
Before you all judge this man , I want you to remember something my former scout leader once told me : “we are all pink on the inside “
@lessons_in_tanya
Жыл бұрын
jesus
@anthonyshepherd1222
4 жыл бұрын
The guy in the video is real- Terry Parker. He's changed so much...he's generous, kind and selfless. He babysits for my kids every Friday.FOR FREE! Even brings sweets for the kids.its amazing how people can change.
@perungod4112
4 жыл бұрын
Anthony Shepherd i’m so happy for you!
@gimnasiayvino
4 жыл бұрын
that's so great to hear!
@hibiscustea4277
4 жыл бұрын
I'm calling bullshit
@GauravGRocks
4 жыл бұрын
I'm calling b.s. on this. There's no way this incredible and humble of a man would be at YOUR house.
@nopuedo3435
4 жыл бұрын
it was at this moment Anthony knew...he fucked up
@benkruggel4593
4 жыл бұрын
The dislikes are the pedophiles who are mad at the guy for giving good advice
@georgek4416
4 жыл бұрын
Haha
@yokito0496
4 жыл бұрын
Fck these comments that says " the dislikes are" like get the fck out of here..
@adammayer5658
4 жыл бұрын
I gave a like, it was hilarious.
@ricegum2022
4 жыл бұрын
As a pedophile this is actually terrible advice.
@ricegum2022
4 жыл бұрын
@Peter Z I'm not concerned unless I do something illegal. And this won't trace back to my actual identity.
@usmh
8 ай бұрын
With all the neglectful parents out there, I think pedophiles deserve a pat on the back. Here are people who actually spend time with kids.
@johnwalker1058
9 ай бұрын
He may have had a bad past, but he's a totally new man now! He is currently working as a youth pastor at the local church, helping the neighborhood children get close to God! He's doing the Lord's work!
@WestAirAviation
4 жыл бұрын
This video is older than my girlfriend.
@aliwalid325
4 жыл бұрын
HAHAHAHA
@wighasbeensnatched1684
4 жыл бұрын
wAiT
@BernardBrunu1
4 жыл бұрын
ladies and gentlemen We got him
@zawarudospoet847
4 жыл бұрын
Strange this comment is older then mine 🤫🤫
@MaoDev
4 жыл бұрын
fair enough
@xxdantheman1681
4 жыл бұрын
Ya know there’s probably someone who watched this and thought it was real. And that’s my favorite part about it.
@tee4222
4 жыл бұрын
Xx DanTheMan16 not probably, just hit the ‘newest first’ tab and see for yourself. As crazy as it is, many people seem to think it’s real...
@telgou
4 жыл бұрын
As much bullshittery satirical shows try to make their show, there are always billions of idiots who would believe it.
@Pwn3540
4 жыл бұрын
First time I saw the onion, I was 11. It was the story about a masturbating dinosaur, I thought the onion was real. So I believed that story. And I believed a few more after that, but then maybe the 7th video I saw where they get some Hispanic grandma on a show as an ET, that's where I pieced together this channel was satire, because no real person will look at another human and say its an ET and then bring it out on TV. lol.
@LordShehap
4 жыл бұрын
That person is me. I needed that comment to be sure it'sn't real.
@xxdantheman1681
4 жыл бұрын
ShootingStar omf
@primitivehorde537
7 ай бұрын
Looking back onion was truly unmatched in what they did.
@Otters_Must_Otter
7 ай бұрын
yep
@fmdof
7 ай бұрын
still holds up today too.
@jort93z
7 ай бұрын
They don't upload videos like this anymore. Haven't for over 5 years now.@@fmdof
@bobmathews9072
6 ай бұрын
They got the idea for this from the notorious “Paedogedden” episode from the British t.v show Brasseye . It’s still the most complained about show ever here in the U.K . Like the Onion it was a satire show so it went right over the heads of thousands of thick Brits : kzitem.info/news/bejne/s5mLnXqXfnergYosi=Qs6Yl3xVv9i2Wuac
@ComicXanz
Ай бұрын
Media literacy is going downhill judging by the comments lol.
@nataliealfera7225
5 жыл бұрын
The state of Florida has asked us to
@eddieb5281
5 жыл бұрын
Disclose our sexual crimes to you
@megatronman2783
5 жыл бұрын
We were bad, but now we're good
@eddieb5281
5 жыл бұрын
And we're moving in to your neighbourhood
@andrewlamb1786
5 жыл бұрын
We're not here to start no trouble
@davidnotshawty
5 жыл бұрын
We are just trying to become functional members of society
@James.Stark.Ben.Edition
5 жыл бұрын
"Their bodies are so light." lmao I'm already done.
@FritzHitz
5 жыл бұрын
James Stark: Ben Edition Lmaoo!
@donteyaboi8694
4 жыл бұрын
Aye dark souls fan
@sharpshootinggameplay7622
4 жыл бұрын
vaginas are tight
@TomorrowWeLive
2 жыл бұрын
@@sharpshootinggameplay7622 not as tight as anuses
@jeewakalakruwan7355
Жыл бұрын
Newest comment section is gold...😅😅 so many still tasting the onion
@vangroover1903
Жыл бұрын
Onion Tree very pretty, and the Onion taste so sweet, but the truth of The Onion is impossible to eat.
@linger4605
Жыл бұрын
So inspiring. They should pay this man for public speaking at schools so kids and parents can get the help they desperately need. It's refreshing to hear ways on how to make your children look less delicious
@drcommondrate12
4 жыл бұрын
Oh I remember this dude... he used to take pictures of us when we were like 7... he said it is for a movie where we will be Superman and Batman but naked.
@GilCAnjos
4 жыл бұрын
He was the one who taught me how to be a man. I miss him so much, but my parents insist on the restraining order
@rainerwahnsinn9585
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah the movie named Butterfly Effect and it was the 2nd backflash^^
@chosenuwu
4 жыл бұрын
i can confirm this story - i was the camera
@idontwannalive5386
4 жыл бұрын
Ahh. Good memories.
@senazane421
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah he was also in India and helped me get an erection 😂 wtffffffffffff
@grapejuice3988
3 жыл бұрын
Don’t tell your kids ‘don’t talk to strangers’ playing hard to get is attractive
@chadthebad8792
3 жыл бұрын
UNDERRATED COMMENT LMFAO
@Ismael-kc3ry
3 жыл бұрын
I agree, whenever kids say they don’t want to do it it just makes me harder
@punu3675
3 жыл бұрын
Ok
@BigChessFan
3 жыл бұрын
I fuckin wheeeeeezed
@FingerBreakerWu
3 жыл бұрын
WE GOT A FIGHTER!
@anatolydyatlov963
Жыл бұрын
It's so nice to have people who give us valuable tips on how to protect our children. This man is a national treasure that should be cherished.
@brainlyexpertsmart1136
Жыл бұрын
Agreed
@HonestLettuce
2 ай бұрын
Hey, this video is older than this guys first crush.
@BobGymlan
3 жыл бұрын
“Their bodies are so light.”
@360.Tapestry
3 жыл бұрын
lol a little too much authenticity there
@chazdoomy1512
3 жыл бұрын
You are an enigma.
@ldawg7117
3 жыл бұрын
I love how I keep running into you in the comment section of the most obscure, random videos . Keep up the good work, man. Looking forward to your next video!
@eyefishinggunkchannel1011
3 жыл бұрын
@@ldawg7117 i am on about the person leaving the comment above the person who you have wrote 2 i was not on about the guy in the vid..dont have a clue wat u r on about
@ldawg7117
3 жыл бұрын
@@eyefishinggunkchannel1011well thems fighting words.. Bob is the F--king man.. Anyone you label a freak.. which is such a grade school term, used by immature, shallow, "idk what I'm talking about, and am a judgmental dick, who judges people simply for being different than me/not fitting societal norms" observation, I would love to know or be friends with. only children or immature, insecure adults, use that term like that. Bob's channel is awesome. Sure, he's a little weird, but I see that as a compliment. He appears to be pretty damn intelligent, down to earth, and has well thought out, logically based observations. But you... if I'm judging on the shallow way in which you judge... looking at your pic, I have a feeling that you're one of the people in this video, the guy is warning us about. Don't talk shit on the Bob, man.
@KabooM1067
5 жыл бұрын
Jesus. It's 2018 and I still get fooled by The Onion. I didn't even read the channel name when I clicked.
@asperRader
5 жыл бұрын
Ramen God that kind of hostility will get you far kid
@wolffrags9856
5 жыл бұрын
Mr Potato Vegi There's always that one guy :D
@EbolaGW
5 жыл бұрын
I don't blame you. With today's media with their ridiculous headlines, it's very easy to fall trap into fake news.
@raverkidloki
5 жыл бұрын
A few years ago I had never heard about the onion before. I saw a video showing the Center for disease Control was putting out videos saying "smoking ciggarettes turns you gay" and shit like that. I was fucking FLOORED. luckily my roomate knew what the onion was and educated me lol.
@sadbanshe
5 жыл бұрын
puru I read that it was the Onion, and still fucking clicked on it, that’s how much I want to see how good it was
@SophiElephanTBaldwim97
29 күн бұрын
Omg. Thanks for the tips im going to tell my Dad about these tips. Hope it helps him
@Spencer-vq7se
24 күн бұрын
UMMM
@naomi-pl1wg
3 жыл бұрын
omg that’s my uncle😆such a sweetheart he’d always insist on playing my little pony with me alone in his station wagon. really miss the guy
@caravan3636
3 жыл бұрын
awwww xD
@disfatbidge2064
3 жыл бұрын
Wholesome af
@joekanaan2548
3 жыл бұрын
OK guys who will tell her
@naomi-pl1wg
3 жыл бұрын
Joe Kanaan huh
@kandy1399
3 жыл бұрын
So sweet
@shqipfire8121
4 жыл бұрын
He really has changed. He recently became our new local school bus driver. He doesn't even want to get paid, he works honorary. Such a kind hearted man. The only downside is that since he took this job my kids are always late for school for whatever reason.
@logang101
4 жыл бұрын
RYUK
@shqipfire8121
4 жыл бұрын
@@logang101 You got any juicy apples for me?
@RK-zc6gj
4 жыл бұрын
That’s weir-hey wait a minute!
@SPOTIGANGMUSIC
4 жыл бұрын
😂😂
@therealwalterwhite6596
4 жыл бұрын
Your pfp ;( it gave me flashbacks of that good anime
@tanya1353
Жыл бұрын
Sorting by new is more fun that watching the video.
@mannyballs5751
Жыл бұрын
Fr so many people don’t get how satirical it is.
@pixikrblx
Жыл бұрын
honestly, terry is just amazing now. recently, he's been staying at my house, and my children have been telling me he gives them small tasks, then gives them money for them to get something :). i still dont get why he is so scared of the police sirens, but oh well :/
@Necrocracy
Жыл бұрын
Trauma. He’s a changed man now, I hope he gets over his trauma. Praying for Terry.
@blazekush7
Жыл бұрын
He probably on the low low. That’s so sus that he’s scared of sirens
@raymac5235
4 жыл бұрын
It's crazy to see so many people still eating the onion all these years later.😂
@zippyparakeet1074
4 жыл бұрын
Ikr 😂😂😂
@depravityconsumer
4 жыл бұрын
It's better than most comedy I've seen lol
@skidaddle492
4 жыл бұрын
It’s for shrek
@babygoose8716
4 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha I know right! It’s hilarious.
@NA-AN
4 жыл бұрын
They're just that good.
@ayekantspeylgud
5 жыл бұрын
Can we all respect the exact creepy looking guy they got to play the pedophile? He even has the voice for it.
@EinFelsbrocken
4 жыл бұрын
Now I feel bad for the actor :/
@jamesadams4648
4 жыл бұрын
@@EinFelsbrocken Mate he knew what he was getting into xD
@deenad3562
4 жыл бұрын
And the dumb brown suit.
@Jhfisibejoso8pkabrvo2is8
4 жыл бұрын
@mouth The Onion is a very well-known producer of satire...
@inspector5122
4 жыл бұрын
He looks like Jack Kelly from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
@Walliin
Ай бұрын
Judging by the comments, this video has aged very well indeed!
@menofnumenor6706
Жыл бұрын
"Today we're gonna get some tips from a child safety expert and former pedophile." I *need* to hear this guy's redemption arc.
@angelflorez2870
3 жыл бұрын
Everyone: I cant believe people think this is real. Me: scrolling through the comments not finding one person who thinks this is real.
@ThePlanemadness
3 жыл бұрын
Try sorting by new
@normalmighty
3 жыл бұрын
@@ThePlanemadness even sorting by new those comments are pretty damn rare
@silentj624
3 жыл бұрын
You're not looking long enough. I even saw one person who used the guise of not being American. I know the rest of the world views us as idiots but I can't believe they'd go so far as to think we'd glorify a pedophile in this way.
@FecalMatador
3 жыл бұрын
silentj624 I mean, we kinda do. Hollywood does this shit all the time and yet it’s glorified
@jacobsmith4428
3 жыл бұрын
@@silentj624 Considering how long it took us to realize Jeffrey Epstein owned an island of underage teens forced to commit acts of depravity, and how he "committed suicide" once caught as contacts with him at large got off Scott-free... we really, *really* have been treading a fine line between satire and reality these days.
@nxla27
4 жыл бұрын
So I’m reading the comments and not really paying attention. Then I hear : AN ERECTION THAT WILL RIP HIS BIKE SHORTS
@rokaine7334
3 жыл бұрын
LMMFAO YOOOOOO THAT EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!!!
@imre3956
3 жыл бұрын
Thats good to know!
@no.dont.
3 жыл бұрын
DUDE SAME TF
@setsers1
3 жыл бұрын
😊😉😆
@kayladawn3855
3 жыл бұрын
@eyan sorad internet be slow cuz
@Lucikalinari
Жыл бұрын
He simultaneously advises things he likes which also deter competition. Sheesh Onion lol
@kotaro07
8 ай бұрын
Just imagine, this will be on a FB feed with no context nor source link, and people will believe this to be real.
@ravenID429
3 күн бұрын
On Facebook? Definitely
@austinburton194
5 жыл бұрын
“ bet you didn’t get far with that one” “No not that one no.” 😂
@gregbradshaw7220
5 жыл бұрын
*kid
@nGUNNARp
5 жыл бұрын
I lost my shit at that part too... So fucked up which is I guess why it's so funny
@arpodyssey7913
5 жыл бұрын
God, I legitimately thought this was real until I saw the channel name...
@ramsesthegreat5652
5 жыл бұрын
What if it was a upload from years ago
@Demunguyreborn21049214
5 жыл бұрын
@@ramsesthegreat5652 it is a upload from almost 10 years ago
@bread2185
5 жыл бұрын
OMG UR COMMENT MADE ME REALIZE
@RedPlaystationController
5 жыл бұрын
Another added to the long list of humans that should never have been in the gene pool.
@goldiful9439
5 жыл бұрын
Same
@lavequiasignora9879
6 ай бұрын
I did some research, and I guarantee you there's no cgi here. This is real.
@excelsior_4294
6 ай бұрын
cgi? 🤣🤣🤣 What did u think they were using cgi for?? A Hollywood superhero fight?
6 ай бұрын
@@excelsior_4294 man... Obviously it's a joke
@excelsior_4294
6 ай бұрын
@ The vid or the comment ? I obviously know the video is satire but I'm not sure if the comment is being serious
6 ай бұрын
@@excelsior_4294 🤣🤦 Dude his comment is a joke. You fell for it. And now you look even more ridiculous for asking me that... brooo
@unknownuser4816
6 ай бұрын
@@excelsior_4294how can you tell the video is satire but not this comment?
@berserkagain7976
Жыл бұрын
guys I just heard some new news about him he actually started a daycare and he's running it all by himself truly an impressive King I'm glad he turned his life around for the better.
@bakuhatsubutsu
9 жыл бұрын
"Oh, I bet you didn't get very far with that kid." "Not 'that' one, no." lol
@niceboi4592
6 жыл бұрын
My name yeff
@CaptainKilluminati
4 жыл бұрын
Well, I can tell you from dealing with this man that he’s changed. I run a daycare in Troy, Michigan and recently hired him as our lead nanny. Not too long ago, our heating system went down and it was absolutely freezing. He used his body warmth to keep all the kids warm. Definitely saved a few lives, considering they were snowed in the daycare for 3 days.
@montanasnack7483
4 жыл бұрын
Underated
@please.stop.coping
4 жыл бұрын
Definitely, from a convict to a hero. Touching story.
@delen4386
4 жыл бұрын
Lmaoooo
@melu0o
4 жыл бұрын
Here before this becomes top comment
@fakegmale4648
4 жыл бұрын
Eudaimonic Egoist very touching, makes me feel warm inside
@zombieeightpack1381
3 ай бұрын
It really goes to show that The Onion just can’t really work in current-day America. Not because they’re not funny, they are, but because Americans have no sense of humor anymore.
@myweirdsecondchannelwithap9070
24 күн бұрын
Not like the rest of the world has any sense of humor...
@scotthergert1668
Жыл бұрын
"not that one no"💀
@marchforth3515
5 жыл бұрын
how do they get people willing to play these roles 😂
@Ryder-wt9tk
5 жыл бұрын
The real questions.
@jackoakes1998
5 жыл бұрын
Money
@C0wb0yBebop
5 жыл бұрын
wtf isthisallowed they give them money dumbass
@relentlessoverkill4480
5 жыл бұрын
people do anything for $$ why wouldn't they do this?
@marchforth3515
5 жыл бұрын
Heath Anderson bro why so aggressive for no reason,,, sorry I didn’t expect The Onion to pay their actors a lot of money geez it’s like no one can make an innocent comment anymore
@Kleavers
8 жыл бұрын
Six years on and this is still brilliant.
@andrewcool4548
6 жыл бұрын
Kleavers I reported it.
@andrewcool4548
6 жыл бұрын
Kleavers and fake news
@andrewcool4548
6 жыл бұрын
Seafoam 456 you think this should be online?
@palace8310
6 жыл бұрын
it's a fucking joke
@malev5027
6 жыл бұрын
9 years on and this is still brilliant.
@Bushmills21
7 ай бұрын
Jokes on all of you. There's no way you can possibly make your kids less attractive.
@awkwardfreakinperson7936
7 ай бұрын
you would know right
@SweetBell3
5 ай бұрын
1:12 “He’s gonna get an erection that’ll rip his bike shorts…” that subtle jab at bicycle fanatics is too good 😂
@thomasjamesbailey1209
5 жыл бұрын
I sometimes show my aunt, who is completely internet ignorant, these onion clips and it gets her everytime. 🤣🤣
@jacquesstoop2587
5 жыл бұрын
Thomas James Bailey some people just want to watch the world burn
@ophiolatreia93
5 жыл бұрын
Thomas James Bailey your aunt is in idiot
@Pajdas610
5 жыл бұрын
@@ophiolatreia93 learn how to spell before you call someone an idiot
@ophiolatreia93
5 жыл бұрын
crazy potato sorry mate that was not me who wrote that my spalling was Mich butter
@catelfpoland8717
5 жыл бұрын
@@Pajdas610 technicaly that sentence wasnt false, we dont know where and in what that lady may be atm. Cant be sure what author meant to say :) yes im trolling, pls dont spread negativity
@flargarbason1740
4 жыл бұрын
Hello fellow commenter. Scrolling to look for people who think this is real? Carry on.
@tingz4259
4 жыл бұрын
lol literally why im sorting by new
@Mi_Fa_Volare
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, there's this dickhead gg. He's either irrational or uneducated or both. Or maybe he's a 50cent writer to push an agenda.
@tingz4259
4 жыл бұрын
@@Mi_Fa_Volare lol what are you even talking about
@altsamearl1089
4 жыл бұрын
Yep.
@Mi_Fa_Volare
4 жыл бұрын
@@tingz4259 Some other guy who made the same garbage comments about five times. That person is either stupid or is employed by the goverment to mislead and spread some radical mindset. That's called a 50cent writer. At least is or was in China.
@unnamedduck6218
10 ай бұрын
the fact that people think this shit is real is insane like how gullible must you be
@ChutneyGames
11 ай бұрын
"you dont have to lure them into a car you just take them where you want them their bodies are so light" is so funny but so true in terms of actually avoiding dangerous people as a kid
@tru816indo
5 жыл бұрын
"I bet you didn't get far with that kid" "Not that one, no"
@reynhacoezy5510
5 жыл бұрын
1:50
@trublgrl
4 жыл бұрын
he protecc. but he also attac.
@JW-hn5nt
4 жыл бұрын
I WANT MY KIDS BACC
@TaylorL333
4 жыл бұрын
he protecc he attack but most importantly the kids will shag him bacc
@JW-hn5nt
4 жыл бұрын
@@TaylorL333 he protecc he atacc, they get it from the front and the bacc
@lukatoplak3363
4 жыл бұрын
I mean, he also kindapp
@TaylorL333
4 жыл бұрын
J W 😂😂😂😂
@joshuaspector8182
Жыл бұрын
It’s been over a decade. I’m still waiting for that Perogi recipe! 😭
@Gragoryg95
Жыл бұрын
Peak KZitem, loving the people just coming across this with no context on the onion
@Guppyg53
6 жыл бұрын
And women, if you want to protect yourself against rape, always wear a sleeping bag and ride a scooter
@hectora7479
6 жыл бұрын
Goborobo or skateboard
@123apacino
6 жыл бұрын
Goborobo If she have ass she tryna ask for it
@Guppyg53
6 жыл бұрын
If she breathe she askin for it
@titothesecond2001
6 жыл бұрын
A Talentless Idiot Incel spotted
@atalentlessidiot7872
6 жыл бұрын
XxTheVelikiBosnaXx But I am a woman.
@xaynee8453
5 жыл бұрын
This I like an ex Nazi giving you advice on how too save money on your gas bill
@notmareelnam7545
5 жыл бұрын
WELL WHO WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN A NAZI!?
@xrphoenix7194
5 жыл бұрын
In other words helpful
@tomfortenbacher73
5 жыл бұрын
@@notmareelnam7545 how about people who do gas work? I mean Nazis do come close however as T4 was originally a drug program they would not administer the gas until after the showers were recreated. Btw no I'm not a neo nazi lol i study History.
@Swukelz
5 жыл бұрын
More like how to buy bread during inflation
@Koko-hj1nl
5 жыл бұрын
I know right wtf. Why is nobody talking about that
@airaz1235
4 ай бұрын
I can believe the onion the most reliable news outlet has a KZitem channel, subscribed.
@enderengineer3934
Ай бұрын
"Switching sides" "Friendly fire will not be tolerated!"
@paolo6219
3 жыл бұрын
I cant believe people actually think this is fake
@taiyangxiaolong9228
3 жыл бұрын
Do you mean real? The Onion is a fake news source.
@LoverboyTousey
3 жыл бұрын
R/woosh
@Idk-tl5em
3 жыл бұрын
chile anyway
@cocopus
3 жыл бұрын
@@taiyangxiaolong9228 lol libtard spotted! go watch your CNN you dumb fuck.
@centurion2396
3 жыл бұрын
@@cocopus idk who you are but i see u reply to anyone....hiiii
@Matthew-Anthony
8 жыл бұрын
"He's going to get an erection that will rip his bike shorts." I was screaming laughing at that.
@carlosd2217
8 жыл бұрын
probably the greatest line in the whole video
@Mr00dear
8 жыл бұрын
Ditto😂😂😂😂
@mimmar3891
7 жыл бұрын
The subtle humor of that line was the best out of the whole sketch. It's' when I finally laughed out loud!
@rentisme
Жыл бұрын
1:23 I love the small detail of him saying 'I prefer' rather than 'I preferred', let the mask slip a little there lol
@urblack7954
Жыл бұрын
Yea lol
@d__osaka2433
4 ай бұрын
I remember watching this as a child and thinking it was legit I feel so fucking stupid now 💀
@zurirobinson2749
3 ай бұрын
This video is so old the kids they were trying to protect are in our 20s
@NGlitchesFTW
4 жыл бұрын
I felt soo uncomfortable watching this...
@tearoses9940
4 жыл бұрын
It’s satire, he’s just an actor.
@parrickpatrick2921
4 жыл бұрын
U is dumb as hell for a verified nigga
@queuzed
4 жыл бұрын
its an actor
@squaretavern9526
4 жыл бұрын
@@parrickpatrick2921 LOL fax
@lesliejuarez6116
4 жыл бұрын
0nichan0 On god 🤣
@calebwarren5841
4 жыл бұрын
“If we can protect even one child from people like you, we’ll have done our job”
@galemara7990
4 жыл бұрын
Caleb Warren I cried at that one 😂🤣
@josephfisher9043
Жыл бұрын
haters will say its fake
@dudelookslikeagirl
10 ай бұрын
I can't believe The Onion still manages to bait people even today
@mogo-wc7xw
8 ай бұрын
same lmao
@Isabella-qi2dt
8 жыл бұрын
"their bodies are so light"
@CriticalVids
5 жыл бұрын
Ex-janitor tells you how to properly clean floors
@KJ-lz8qd
5 жыл бұрын
ITS DAX
@sayapusingkepala
5 жыл бұрын
😁
@tonystark4339
5 жыл бұрын
I took it to 1k
@CriticalVids
5 жыл бұрын
tony stark lol thanks!
@og6917
14 күн бұрын
2000s humor was wild lmao
@HighPandaa
9 ай бұрын
I hope this guy got paid enough
@yvick7770
8 ай бұрын
Why would he be paid for what he did to those poor kids??? You disgust me and you are as worthless as that disgusting pedo in the video. You should go to church where absolutely no kiddy diddling ever takes place! 🙏🙏🙏
@kored8688
8 ай бұрын
@@yvick7770 I'm a child safety expert and I find church the best place to diddle kiddies.
@unknownuser4816
6 ай бұрын
@@yvick7770As a priest I support this comment. Please bring your kids to the church where they'll be closer to jesus. You don't have to worry, you can dress them as attractive as you want them to be.
@Snotlingfondler
8 жыл бұрын
I wonder how they advertised this role.
@majskukka3279
8 жыл бұрын
"Looking for actor"
@Lucifronz
7 жыл бұрын
"Looking for bald, sweaty man with facial hair. Preferably a mustache. Must have other pedophile traits, such as an abnormally light voice or small eyes and a creepy stare."
@inspectorjavert8443
7 жыл бұрын
My guess is they have a list of actors they use regularly for various rolls. He did a good job though, he made you hate him.
@leadreddead5457
6 жыл бұрын
+Snotlingfondler We're profile picture twins! In the 4 years I've had this PP, I have never seen anyone else have it.
@faithismine128
6 жыл бұрын
HerrNilssonTheMonkey That is what my Marine boot camp instructor told me after I had a psyche eval.
@stephaniepretty
8 жыл бұрын
"he's gunna get an erection that'll rip his bike shorts" "oh wow ya that's good to know" XD how did she reply like that without laughing?
@Atlas_Uncharted
6 жыл бұрын
I lost my shite😂😂😂
@macafromthewired
6 жыл бұрын
stephaniepretty because she's an actor and they took multiple takes
@Thrlta
6 жыл бұрын
Yeah like they said multiple takes
@theworldoverheavan560
5 жыл бұрын
Anissa Lingley lol
@DinoDays703
5 жыл бұрын
Anissa Lingley XD
@crystallxix1493
Жыл бұрын
The amount of people in the comments not realising that this is a comedy skit is the most depressing thing I’ve seen all year
@Vsor
Жыл бұрын
I literally come back here every now and then just to read the new comments lol.
@sophie________
Жыл бұрын
@@Vsor me too
@mshalls7614
Жыл бұрын
Please make more of these. They are the BEST EVER
@ItzTabulous
5 жыл бұрын
"He simply wants their small bodie pressed against his" *lmao*
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