Wow I really needed this. Lately I've been so scared that I'm going to regret transitioning later and finding out that I'm not even trans. I'm actually happy that I'm not the only one feeling this...
@aahpuuh
5 жыл бұрын
gotta love freddie😍
@emberallen2387
5 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way
@failureblanket8559
5 жыл бұрын
Calm for my confused and fearful mind. I don't feel alone with these emotions now.
@Marqkus
5 жыл бұрын
Same
@mr.goodvibes3968
5 жыл бұрын
Same!
@tryingmybardest
7 жыл бұрын
"Because I wasn't "Trans enough" " God I hate that saying so much. That's just invalidating people. As a cisgender female, I feel bad for people in the trans community that get told that they're "not trans enough" because so and so... You are valid, and you are "trans enough". If you later down the road you discover that you actually weren't trans but gender fluid or whatever, then that is okay. You're human and trying to discover who you are as a person... We all go through that and that shouldn't invalidate you as a person...
@shalysagavin6354
4 жыл бұрын
I had my first appointment yesterday, and I'm doing labs tomorrow, next appointment is in a couple weeks and I'm so thankful that I haven't heard that. They've been super open, and ready to discuss and let me meet MY goals and not what they think they should be. So thankful to not have had to experience that.
@youtubewatcher830
2 жыл бұрын
thank you
@Valentine-kx7fk
7 жыл бұрын
This video is actually something I really needed. Nobody talks about this. Thank you Chase!
@captainsmoov9462
7 жыл бұрын
Alexander The Great I agree. This is so needed. Ill be 25 in december and ive known my whole life. Ive felt all of these same things from as long as i can remember. And just coming to terms that this feeling is inescapable is so effin hard. I found a slight period of inflated happiness in my early 20s after being put on meds to cope. But it was based on "dealing with who i am i this life" Thank you to Chase for your courage as an example and to share your fears with all of us! I think the transition is scary because its like what if i hate the way i look or how i sound or whatever. But honestly i hate even more that i look like a girl before getting the glory of my dream guy body. Either way Chase youre a handsome ass man i hope to look as fresh someday very soon!
@chris80meiko
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much for that video!! I'm 37 years old and I'm a baby Trans. I have allready acepted that I'm trans but I 'm so afraid of transitioning
@Nerdicaful
6 жыл бұрын
Cris Campo I think the later you start your transition, the bigger the fear is. I'm in my late 20s (will be thirty in a few months), and have only been on hormones for three months. I get a lot of fear about transitioning and I think it's because I was raised to be one gender, while also being taught that I can't change that gender. Yet, here I am...changing it....and I feel like I'm gonna get in trouble for it, lol. A big rebel I am just switching my gender up all willy nilly. How dare me!
@rwyke1
5 жыл бұрын
❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼 needed this. 33 & finally started T
@jadesavedbygrace2325
5 жыл бұрын
At 34 I'm in the baby steps becomeing FTM . Congrats and wishing u a great journey through life
@DJBenito304
4 жыл бұрын
Me too
@groundead4lyfe
4 жыл бұрын
I'm 31. A week away from seeing my doctor for hormones. I'm so fucking terrified. I'm so glad I saw these comments. Thank you for this space. ❤
@IanStiep
7 жыл бұрын
Fuck me. I'm 16 years old Chase. Watching this make me feel less alone and lost and thats on of the greatest thigs about your videos. I feel blessed to be able to feel like a 16 years old you and not feeling like a 19 years old fucked up and lonely me. Just... thanks for everything you do, Chase. Its so important and im glad you know.
@TheErren
7 жыл бұрын
Ian Stiepcich im 22 and this is my first year on t and im scared shitless. Older or younger your not alone. Theres people on here that are in there 50's watching these videos. Most likely some older plp too. Good for them and u and chase and us. You dont have to have known or start transition by a certain age. U dont have to feel alone. I know sometimes u will feel that way. But theres others out there. Try some ftm or mtf or just trans groups on fb or whatever too. They can be great.
@liam_er
Жыл бұрын
how are you doing now?
@coccinella0_
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you SO much for this video. I am 15 and I'm literally SO SCARED that I'll realize later on that I'm just a tomboy or something like that and not really trans, and that I'll regret it one day if I transition. I never thought like "oh I think I'm a boy" as a kid and I don't hate my body and it makes me so insecure about my identity. I know that not every trans person knows from a young age and some are ok with their bodies, but it's still so strange to me. I don't like when people can see my chest because I'm not wearing a binder and I hate that I can't just walk around without a shirt on when it's hot, but these are just so few situations that I'd like to change my body. I don't really know why this makes me so insecure about being trans, maybe it's because so many trans people I know hate their bodies and it makes me feel like I should hate mine too if I'm really trans? I don't know. But I'm so scared and this video helped me so much. Thank you.
@chloewhite5022
7 жыл бұрын
Noah I feel the same. I feel like loads of trans people talk about these stories where they had a pivotal moment in their childhood but I don't really think I ever had that. There's been the odd thing but I just doubt myself so much. I think you just have to remember that not every trans persons experience is the same. Some know their whole life and some don't. Best of luck
@coccinella0_
7 жыл бұрын
Chloe White same here. We'll get through this, stay strong.
@felikso
7 жыл бұрын
Noah Because every single trans person's experience is so entirely different, each trans person redefines what it means to be trans. I was perfectly comfortable identifying as female when I was younger and it's only been the past year or so that that's changed, and I also barely get body dysphoria - I bought a binder around last Christmas but I rarely wear it. I also worry that it'll just be a phase and that I'll regret things, and my advice to you would be to take it slow. Ask a few close friends to change names and pronouns, to test how that is. If you like it, keep it. If not, you can always ask them to change it back, they won't mind. Whenever I'm doubting about whether or not transition is something I actually want, I ask myself if I would go back on my decision to come out in the places I have done, and the answer is always a resounding "of course not". But yeah, there are just as many ways of being trans as there are trans people, you are valid no matter what you feel or what you don't feel. If you don't hate your body, then that's awesome! It's one less thing to feel upset about.
@coccinella0_
7 жыл бұрын
thewoowooster thank you so much for this comment, it really helped me. I'll definitely think about this when I'm doubting everything again. Also, I think I have some body dysphoria sometimes (for example, there are times when I feel so female and it hurts so much to be reminded that I don't have a male body that I can't even take off my binder.), at least I think that's what body dysphoria is? I watched many videos related to this topic but noone could really explain it, so I don't know if it is body dysphoria, but I think so. But yeah, thank you for this comment, bro. Was really good to hear / read. :-)
@bernardosouza2638
6 жыл бұрын
Omg, that's exactly how I feel, please hug me
@LucasIssacTobias
7 жыл бұрын
I wish other people could understand the fear, I came out to my parents and they push me to transition which I'm happy about but I have to call clinics and things and I put it off cause I get scared. They don't get it and get angry and assume this isn't want I want
@myrest3334
7 жыл бұрын
Lucas Tuck show them this video, maybe? they want to support you, they just dont know how.
@NeuroArrow
7 жыл бұрын
Lucas Tuck i feel like my situation is like that too but different. i am so terrified to go on T now that im so close to it, but if i tell my parents and my therapists they will be like i knew you werent really trans, i knew you shouldve took more time.. and im even more terrified about that...
@bgttgb100
6 жыл бұрын
gonna be honest ive never heard it that way around, but they probably mean well.. i agree with Myrest, show them this video if you haven't already. information is the key to communication.
@Daliachan
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you Chase for this video. I feel so afraid all the time. What if I regret it? What if I'm not actually a boy? What if no one will ever love me again? What if I hate my body even more afterwards? I don't want to be trans, it seems like such an awful road. I don't even have the stereotypical experience of realizing my identity when I was a kid. I'm 25 and I still don't know for sure. I just hate all of this but it makes me feel better that other people have doubts too.
@ShushOrIWillKissYou
7 жыл бұрын
Daliachan i totally have felt the same in the past, you're not alone. It is a tough road, but if it's meant for you it will make you so much more happy and comfortable in the end. All the best on your journey to discover yourself ☺️
@xbduf4gb
5 жыл бұрын
You could regret it. I did. I felt that I was a boy, but realised I was not a man. I too felt no-one would love me, straight women and gay men would want their love interests to have male genitals I thought. I didn’t settle into a ‘male role’ in society, my male boss was aggro towards me, men in general were more aggro than before if I inadvertently missed a social cue. It was harder to be friends with women. I didn’t want anyone to know that I hadn’t always been male but it meant a large part of my life was a secret. That was stressful. I didn’t want to be known in my general community as trans. For me There was no point in being a guy if it was only as trans. On testosterone my body was good to start with, then it piled on weight and my fine lines and angular jaw disappeared replaced by a fat round face. After 4 years my belly became a hairy pot belly. And I could hardly bend in the middle. I’d been attractive before and now I wasn’t. I realised living as a female was easier for me so was not being on T so I stopped. Fortunately my face reverted after several more years but belly and weight gain has taken a lot of work. I had thought I would be on the male side of androgynous but the steroid made me too masculine and chunky. You never know how testosterone is going to affect you physically as everyone is different. Anyone who is happy to be trans in society and wants to look fully like a man will probably be fine. I hated the trans label for myself. I even tried out living as a man for 2 years before starting T. I had got locked into transitioning because I was around the trans community and also had to have a bilateral mastectomy for breast cancer just before I started transition which locked me in some more. I have since had my chest re sculpted into a male shape as an androgynous female . Getting a flat chest was the best part of sorting out my gender issues plus no longer having to worry about breast cancer.
@irohha
7 жыл бұрын
I'm 20 and i haven't started T yet even though I desperately want to, but i still have those thoughts of "what if i regret it" or "what if i'm not really trans" even though I'm pretty damn sure and it's been something I have been thinking about and researching for years and years. A lot of the fear i face comes from my unaccepting family i think honestly. Other people's doubts make me feel doubtful.
@Ezra-gx2oq
6 жыл бұрын
Andrew same here
@Ezra-gx2oq
6 жыл бұрын
i started gender therapy for now :D
@definitelynotlink5420
6 жыл бұрын
IVE NEVER RELATED TO SOMETHING SO HARD OH MY. I’m hoping that a year on you’re happier and more comfortable with yourself and all that good stuff
@tibo6749
5 жыл бұрын
Aw sweetie. Not everyone is understanding, yes, but usually families start to catch up to the fact that you're trans after a while. They get used to it, mostly, unless you live in Iran or some Islamic country where you'd probably get killed. Maybe try to see a professional if you can. They could help
@oceanstaiga5928
4 жыл бұрын
Andrew I’m 20 now, have been doing the same thing researching for years and am pretty sure I’m trans and really am feeling dysphoric up to being suicidal because of it but somehow the fears are still holding me back from coming out which would allow me to go to therapy and maybe start hormones
@sadiemorgan4095
7 жыл бұрын
I've known I'm trans for 5 years, the fear is paralyzing, I haven't done a single thing to transition, it's getting to the point where I really hate myself, I have to do something soon
@noahsilletta1450
7 жыл бұрын
Sebastian Morgan sending you support and encouragements. If you want to talk, find me on Facebook. I've just started T a few months ago. hugs 💜🎈
@definitelynotlink5420
6 жыл бұрын
Sebastian Morgan Same... My hair is still half way down my back and everyone at college and home still thinks I’m a cis girl and it hurts so much... Admittedly I bind but I said it was for cosplay... I don’t know...
@rolfioolivia6184
6 жыл бұрын
@@definitelynotlink5420 it's okay, I'm 12 and I'm *SURE* that I'm trans (FtM).I haven't done anything or told anyone yet, but next year in 7th grade when I get to highschool (k-6th grade is elementary btw) I think I'm going to hang out at my one friends house and tell him as I'm close and he's very trustworthy. As my other best friend Ed, he's not so much. But I know what you mean. It's absolutely terrifying to even think about coming out. I'm sure my friends would accept me, but there's always a chance they won't. I actually get called trans as I look like a boy with broad shoulders,I play football and I wear boy clothes while hanging out with dudes. I'm pretty popular in school because of football (I play with another girl), of the people who call me trans mean it as MtF and are joking. I'm even started to get an Adams apple. I really hope this helped you. If you need anything at all, I'll help you personally
@bgttgb100
6 жыл бұрын
gonna be honest love, I'm not on E yet.. starting soon. BUT, I've come out twice now! so i know about that part. I've also done a lot of scary things that weren't related to me being trans.. I'm here because I'm scared to.. my advice if its worth anything, people always told me to breathe, then one day i did. that day was the first day of my life, and i knew back then that no matter how dark it gets there's always another day in front of you. so when its dark, take a deep breath in your nose down to your belly, breath out through your mouth. it dosnt fix anything, but it helps me get back to earth. remember your a rainbow in the dark.
@rolfioolivia6184
6 жыл бұрын
@@bgttgb100 good, I hope you luck
@skylerlynn8121
5 жыл бұрын
It's so good to see I am not the only one with fears. I'm 41, scared of rejection and more. I am plucking up the courage to tell my family.
@kirehawley-zechlin2351
7 жыл бұрын
THIS IS LITERALLY ME RIGHT NOW. Chase, you are my inspiration. I'm so scared and so confused and it's a dang nightmare and I wish I could just chill with you and bro around and talk about everything. ❤
@riverhazel2478
7 жыл бұрын
I have been putting off getting on t for a long time because of that feeling of doubt that says, "if you're scared then maybe you're not really trans!" Thanks so much for this video Chase. It's so reassuring to hear that it's ok to be scared and you can still do it if you're nervous. I booked an appointment with a gp to take the first steps towards getting on t after watching this ❤
@kkrider5
7 жыл бұрын
I remember the moment I realized I was trans, and I feel like most people talk about how happy and enlightened they felt, but I remember feeling a cold fear spread through me. I remember how terrified I was of transitioning and the difficulty I was going to have in life but being 2 and a half years on T, I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I wouldn't change a thing. I never thought I'd be here; laying next to my fiance of two years, alive and well at 18, and ten months away from top surgery. Right before I transitioned, I couldn't see a future for myself. I didn't see a life past my high school career. And now, I'm able to see my life unfold right in front of me. Thank you, Chase. You were one of the first trans youtubers I found here and without you, I would not have transitioned and I would not be here. You're so amazing and I'm so glad you exist. And for everyone here who thinks they're never going to transition, I promise you will. One day you'll look back and that sadness will seem so far away.
@underdogreptile8916
Жыл бұрын
I'm 35 and 4 months on T. Thanks for being so visible. I've been afraid of transitioning for years and years. I finally took the first steps and I know it was the right thing to do. I appreciate your willingness to be so open.
@pmbluemoon
7 жыл бұрын
*SUBSCRIBED FOR LIFE* 😉😆 I am 40 and FTM, can't afford top surgery but had hysto because of other issues, I feel less advanced but more advanced at the same time. BLESS you for this vid, we are ALL in different stages of transitioning, all my paperwork is done, but I still confused people who knew my old name..... lots of loopholes, side notes, footnotes and exceptions to every rule we think is out there!
@katelyns694
7 жыл бұрын
really needed this video, i'm in the process of getting on T and there are days where i worry that i'm "faking" or "not trans enough" (they aren't as often as they used to be but it's still a fear for sure) it helps to see that someone who is much further than me in their own transition had these fears as well and that having these fears doesn't mean that i am faking, thank you
@leonard3580
7 жыл бұрын
And thank you for this video! Haven't finished watching as I write this, but I am really worried about transitioning in case I'm not 'really trans'. Although I'm sure now it's been ingrained in me that it could be a phase and I'm worried that I'll regret or dislike the changes that come with transitioning.
@chloewhite5022
7 жыл бұрын
Leonard I feel exactly the same. I'm scared to come out because then I feel like I'll definitely transition medically and might regret it because I'm not happy with other aspects of who I am that I can't change. I worry that I'm better off passing as a cis female completely than half passing as male. It scares me though because I guess I won't really know if I'll be happy with the changes until they happen. I love the idea of being muscular and having a beard, etc but I don't know if in reality I'll be okay with it. It's nice to know I'm not on my own. Best of luck with everything.
@myrkflinn4331
6 жыл бұрын
people ingrained it inside me and now I think Im crazy and asking for more attention.... great....
@myrkflinn4331
6 жыл бұрын
Chloe, don't know how to tag you, but your situation is EXACTLY mine!
@xbduf4gb
5 жыл бұрын
Chloe White You will fully pass as male if you are a dose of testosterone that gives you an adult male blood serum level.
@crazycat1166
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for talking about this fear. Because this is exactly where I am and I've been so confused whether being scared means it's the wrong choice. I'm scared that I start transitioning then regret it.
@emoryramsey2756
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you Chase. I have the same fears and anxieties on top of my everyday anxiety and sometimes I just can't function. No one ever talks about fearing transition. They always seem so happy about transitioning quickly.
@corianderwolfgangrainbeaux
7 жыл бұрын
This fear is ageless and timeless... I still question myself daily. Having a community to talk to is such a saving grace! I'm only 4 months in at 40 years old. But I knew when I was 4.
@mossiris816
5 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Its so hard to find people who are open and honest about the fear of transitioning. It really helps because i go through the same cycle of certainty and uncertainty and it helps so much to hear that someone else has gone through this and still overcame it.
@kaicleland3852
7 жыл бұрын
This is really helpfull I've been feeling super nervous about a lot of this stuff. *calming breath*
@BodyBruiser
7 жыл бұрын
I think my biggest fear with transitioning is the negative side affects. I'm very scared of getting things like diseases or surgery because those are traumatic for me. I often switch between wanting to transition and not a lot as well... its hard to decide.
@cloudlight3932
3 жыл бұрын
man i really needed this, when you mentioned that it keeps cycling back, it reminded me so much of my experiece. Ive been cis for like so many years, and its not like i really hated it, and sometimes i think that maybe i will like,,,,change my mind and that im truly a woman and that i need to live out that life. But i think about the times i had euphoria while presenting as more masc, or how i like my new name and my new pronouns , and that scares me a bit but I know that that happiness was there. I cried like 3 times to this video. no matter how many times i proclaim "im actually a woman! im cis!!" and change the pronouns on my social media...I always come back, and change them back to he/they. But, for some reason it feels so strange and hard to accept. Thank you for this video. I hope you have a great day.
@cosmicpuddle
7 жыл бұрын
Wow, I really needed this video today. It's getting to the point for me that the discomfort of not transitioning is starting to outweigh the fear of transitioning, but it's still scary as hell. It's nice to know that you've dealt with similar feelings and pushed past it all. Thanks so much for talking about this, Chase!
@jessicachidgey8904
7 жыл бұрын
Chase. I'm a silent subscriber. (I don't think I've ever commented on any video ever...) I just wanted to say, as a 25 year old, cis, British woman. There is just something about you that just makes my soul happy. I'm so glad I found you. And as a mother of two, I really appreciate what you're doing for younger people that need guidance in helping to accept who they really are. It honestly warms my heart and gives me hope for my children that there is still good, honest, loving people left in this world. So thank you xxx (Oh and I really like your shirt. 😚)
@axelrose7574
5 жыл бұрын
dude you have no idea how much this video hit me. i've been turning these points over in my head for like a year and even though i watched this video and every single thing was like 'yes that's me' i'm still sitting here telling myself that that's not me. but damn.. i have to be real with myself. thank you for this video even though i'm like 1.5 years late to this video.
@Pinkupinku
7 жыл бұрын
The reason that you're my favourite trans youtuber is because you're unafraid of being so open, and talking about your fears. I feel like a lot of trans people don't talk about their fears, but that's what I love about you, because you tell it how it is. I realised I was trans about 2 years ago and I'm still in the stage of 'am I really this, maybe I'm not, I don't want to be this' and I have a lot of fear about starting T, despite wanting nothing but T for the past 2 years. It's very emotionally exhausting to be afraid of something you want so badly. This helped me out a lot though, just as a lot of your other videos do. I just want to say thank you!
@liam7827
7 жыл бұрын
this video made me cry. I really really needed this. I'm not close to transitioning yet but someday I will and I know that I can love myself. it's so nice to hear that years later you still know that you did the right thing.
@jonedominguez8389
7 жыл бұрын
I was just watching a vid from Stef and that sweet notification hit me for this vid!!! All the trans KZitemr content!!!
@leosahr8887
7 жыл бұрын
Jone Dominguez SAME
@subduednevada8280
7 жыл бұрын
Saaame
@justxd8828
7 жыл бұрын
This is why I follow chase! He talks about the real deep stuff that some people are afraid to talk about or just don't think to talk about. This is so relatable for so many of us it's crazy!
@FrankieUtka
7 жыл бұрын
Earlier today, I got the approval from my Endocrinologist to start Testosterone, after me knowing since i was 12, and coming out/going back in since i was 16 to now (I'm 18 now). All of those exact feelings you mentioned, the going back & forth, the feeling kind of genderqueer, the excitement followed by the fear that I'll regret hormomes, are what I have felt and am currently feeling. I was about to just give up and "accept" that I'm just never going to be happy with my body unless I change it in some way, and I did not feel like I was going to feel happy either way...but then I watched this video. I know that what I'm feeling is completely normal and people can relate to it and that I am still as valid and trans as any other trans person is. Legit, I started to tear up towards the end of this and it felt like someone was reading my mind and saying the words right out of my own mouth. Thank you so much for posting this, Thank you So Much for Sharing your experiences with us. To remember how Just a few months ago, I thought I was better off dead, and now I can finally see a possible bright future for myself and other people like me. I'm at a loss of words, I am just, so grateful FTM KZitemrs like you exist, and are constantly sharing their experiences and true feelings and colors. You help so many people in so many more ways than you can imagine and if I had the financial stability to send you a giant bouquet of flowers with a giant card signed by at least 500 other trans guys who you've helped, I would lol. Maybe that's overkill, but, THE POINT IS, Thank You So damn Much, Chase💖 I can't thank you enough💖💗💖 I wish you the best in all your endeavors and your journey💖💖💖💖
@abbyrose3177
7 жыл бұрын
Chase, I've been having a lot of anxiety about coming out, and transitioning lately because I feel like I'll regret it later, this video was much needed, thank you🖤🏳️🌈
@jelenaaimee906
7 жыл бұрын
I do have this huge fear that I'll regret it all, I'm honestly so scared but it feels terrifying not knowing who or what I am.
@Nhouah
7 жыл бұрын
I'm non binary and I want a flat chest but I'm so terrified by surgery that I'm trying to convince myself I don't need it. It's terrible. I hope one day I get the courage to do it, this video is comforting in a way.
@anarchocompactdick
7 жыл бұрын
Nouah if it helps, I'm nonbinary and not on t and have my top surgery consultation in November. It's taken many years to realize if it was the right decision for me, but if it's right for you, you'll know because the feelings will be too strong to ignore 🤗 There's something my trans friend said to me a few years ago that changes my mind about top surgery for the better. I said I was so scared to get surgery because it was such a big decision and I was afraid of regret it. She told me "I understand that it's a big decision, but it doesn't have to be. It's logistically difficult, but in terms of life decisions towards your happiness, it's only as big as you feel it is." I hope that's not invalidating. It really helped me. Let me know if you need anyone to talk to. I'm here for ya.
@Nhouah
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@behindzerosp
4 жыл бұрын
@@anarchocompactdick How was your surgery ? I am nb trans and I have the same question about top, want it but when my dysphoria is low I think I am not trans enough to have it and I will regret
@anarchocompactdick
4 жыл бұрын
@@behindzerosp God it's so great. It feels like my chest looks and feels like it was always meant to be. One of the best decisions I ever made. Listen to the voice that's telling you not to do it. Note the reasons it tells you. Contemplate if those ideas come from you or the society you're living in. Only you can know the true answer to whether top surgery is right for you. I will also say that I was questioning my decision to get top until it was done. I think of it like the bargaining stage of grief. The difficulty is worth it. No matter what you do, you'll come out of this knowing you made the best decision possible, and that's empowering in it's own right. Growth and change is hard, but always, always worth it.
@behindzerosp
4 жыл бұрын
@@anarchocompactdick In my case it is like " You don't feel dysphoria enough to have top,what if you look strange? And ect. I basically wake up and put binder on and stay with it ,I sleep ok without binder but only because I am by myself,like I have moments when dysphoria isn't present but I still want top
@sam73337
7 жыл бұрын
I got my first shot of T 2 days ago after 2 years of therapy and 3+ years of wondering if I'm trans and all of a sudden had this fear and anxiety come over me today which was literally "omg what if I regret this?" It is a big decision and it got real very quickly even after years of waiting to get to this moment. Some times I don't feel "trans enough" or "male enough" and that's ridiculous but it's there and I feel it. This video really helped calm me down and realize that it's fear of the unknown and that no matter what I decide to do tomorrow or 20 years from now, I'm glad I got that shot because if I don't transition now it will lead me to the same regret I've been trying to avoid all along. This is what I need today and it's alright to be afraid because I'm human and it sucks. I hope I can learn to love myself like you do. Thank you for making these videos.
@haydencook1673
7 жыл бұрын
I'm scared of being trans too, I fear "what if I regret it" what if I tell everyone I'm trans but then realize I wasn't? I'm questioning myself being trans, but I'm scared. If someone put hormones in front of me, I would take them in a heartbeat, if top surgery was a close option, I would take it. I'm scared of being myself...I go back and forth between am I trans? Am I not? And it makes me want to cry because I'm so confused. Thank you for this video, it helps
@dylanbamford2434
6 жыл бұрын
I'm 28 and at the beginning of this journey. Well...after a decade of denial and panic and all that fun stuff, so this video is definitely a blessing.
@colescorner997
5 жыл бұрын
Chase, you are amazing! And the words coming out of your mouth are things that went on in my mind over the last 15 years. It took me 15 years to start my transition. And I love, love, love everything you just said. You are amazing!
@krisbennion9928
7 жыл бұрын
What you've said feels like you're describing my life. I view this as taking control of my life, but I just took my first T shot (June 16) and now I've been having WHAT IF thoughts and, yeah. Fear. Long story short, I needed this video today.
@EverettChase
7 жыл бұрын
DUDE SAME I just started T in may and the fears have been especially strong lately
@krisbennion9928
7 жыл бұрын
I am just so glad (and kind of not glad) that I'm not alone. Misery loves company and all, but I also don't want to see anyone else dealing with it.
@BlackCrow691
6 жыл бұрын
I have so much fear of transitioning and society and everything and I am so glad that you exist. You are a wonderful human being and you give me a lot hope for the future.
@MrMissionTransition
7 жыл бұрын
Chase, I've been following your transition since before you stopped T early in your transition. Your channel was definitely part of why I realized I'm trans when I was 16/17. Even though our timelines of our transitions aren't too far off, I'm glad you posted this video about this topic. I really struggled a lot with the fear of transitioning early on and like you said, you don't represent the whole community, but it is relieving to hear this sort of commentary about these experiences.
@TheZionrouter
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so so so much for this. I'm 24 and have been going back and forth on wanting to transition socially and medically and everyone (family, friends, therapists, doctors, the internet) have always told me that if I'm afraid or questioning then I absolutely cannot be trans. Same thing with me liking "traditionally feminine" things. So you saying this helps me understand my feelings and why I'm so terrified. I think it's because it'd be similar to taking of a mask that's been protecting me for so long. Doing what society *expects* of me. If I stop doing that, I lose control of others' reactions to me, but I gain my authenticity. I think I'm ready to face that.
@Klaris10
7 жыл бұрын
Omg, thank you for the video. its exacly how i feel, and this fear makes me doubt in my ,,transness". I thought that its just me, nobody have this much doubts and i just cant be 100 procent trans becouse of it.
@elliot7404
6 жыл бұрын
Hey seriously thank you i thought no one felt the same. I cannot thank you enough I'm 15 now and it's amazing to see that I'm not the only one who has felt this way.
@linner1228
6 жыл бұрын
Hi Chase! I just want to thank you for doing a great service with these videos -- not just for the trans community, but for people like me who have a loved one who is going through a transition. In my case, it's my 20 year-old son who is FTM. As much as we have a loving relationship where we can talk about pretty much anything, he can be closed off when it comes to talking about being trans. Your videos are so helpful to me because it helps answer questions that I either don't feel comfortable asking or that I know he doesn't feel comfortable talking about. He has not begun his medical transition yet, but very much wants to. I want to be a part of that, but also know that this is his journey, and am being respectful of his boundaries. For me to see what happens during a medical transition is so incredibly helpful, you have no idea. Thanks again for being so open and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you!
@allenerickson5297
7 жыл бұрын
I didnt know how much I needed to hear someone say "this is/was scary" until I heard it. thank you Chase
@anniesawinner
6 жыл бұрын
I know this video is older, but everything you’ve talked about here is so relatable to my situation right now. Thank you so much for making this.
@TheMindOfRosie
7 жыл бұрын
I love how many people in the comments are hyped to get ads, people want chaseypoo to be able to live.
@olivercharles8848
7 жыл бұрын
This is exactly how I'm feeling right now and it's so good to know that it doesn't necessarily mean i'm faking it or not trans enough etc. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS VIDEO
@frankie1465
7 жыл бұрын
I just came out as ftm to my therapist, counselor, and now a doctor. It's been great to be in a better spot, mental health wise, and coming out to them has made me feel really content and given me someone to talk to. My only problem is that tho doctor (whom I don't usually see) told my therapist that she "thinks I should come out to my mom". Ugh, don't think it's her place to say that when she hardly knows me or my family. But besides all of that, I'm taking little steps in my transition like finding clothes that make me comfy and content and finding supportive members of the LGBTQ+ community. Being able to watch your videos helps me feel happy with myself and realize I'm not alone in what I feel. Thank you for being an awesome person, Chase. 💙
@EmBeeGreen
5 жыл бұрын
Chase, thank you so much for this video 💚 I'm 42 and am in the exact state of mind you're describing!!! Thank you for sharing, I feel you 😘🙏❤️💚💜
@neatoburrito7693
4 жыл бұрын
Found your chanel yesterday looking at packers and been binging it all, and I gotta say I'm so glad I have because so much of what you've talked about in your experience I relate to. I made the recent realization about my identity once all the pieces fell into place, but now that I'm taking the steps to make things happen, I've started to doubt myself. I'm glad to know that such a beautiful success story started in a similar way. Thank you for making videos, I love your up beat and unapologetically open attitude 💜
@alfredthedeadleaf9319
7 жыл бұрын
Chase, you're amazing and this video is nice 'cause as an agender person I don't know if I want to transition with hormones or stuff and your video help me because you show us that it's okay to not be ready yet or don't want to do some things for transitions and it really need to be said by more people.
@sherckianofasgard
7 жыл бұрын
Man I feel 8 yr old Chase on that t-shirt thing. When I started "growing the tiddy" at like 9 years old I subconsciously started always wearing hoodies and layers. It wasn't until I was 11 and on a hot bus with some friends after I took off my hoodie and they were like "Huh, this is the first time we've seen you in a t-shirt" that I started to realise how uncomfortable I was with my chest. I think that was the beginning of me questioning my gender.
@anaisguitard6415
4 жыл бұрын
These past two years, I lived exactly what you lived . I was really confused and I didn't know who i was. I know exactly what it's like to feel this way...
@Straiger
5 жыл бұрын
This is the video I needed to see. I'm closet trans and I've been through the same cycle of doing the research and buying the things, then throwing them out and refusing to think about it. I'm 27, I've known I was trans since I was also 15 and it really scares the shit out of me. I've heard other trans people say in their videos that if you're really scared then you shouldn't transition but here you stand, making these videos and living your life in SPITE of that fear. I'm literally crying because you gave a voice to my own emotions, you've inspired me and given me the "balls" lol to pursue my own definition of happiness.
@gabe2048
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video, Chase, I'm lucky enough not to fear transitioning too much and that's a large part owed to you and your videos
@toby________toby
5 жыл бұрын
this is absolutely how i feel. i'm scared of regretting it, of never being man enough, of never being loved, of being rejected by my family. things are already so hard for me, I'm terrified that transitioning is just going to make it worse
@GloomySpriite
7 жыл бұрын
I have my first endocrinologist appointment in four days and I'm absolutely terrified. Heck this video and all of your videos have helped a lot though. I really appreciate you Chase.
@Fenteous
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video, Chase. It makes me feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone in my fear. I always thought it was due to me not being "Trans Enough," but I understand now. Hearing this message come from you -- one of my idols -- makes the fear less overwhelming.
@flwrboyx4421
7 жыл бұрын
hey chase this video helped me so much, the past week I've been so anxious and sad about my gender and identity and this video really helped me change the way I've been thinking about all this anxiety. You are so amazing thx for everything u do and speaking about things like this ❤️❤️❤️
@mr.goodvibes3968
5 жыл бұрын
This helped me so much, you have no idea, I'm so grateful for this video
@PlanetaryMaxwell
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for making this video I'm a pre T, pre top surgery guy here and I needed this video I've been so scared of T and transitioning in general I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has dealt with the fear™
@gerghaplatania3904
6 жыл бұрын
I don't cry often but the feeling of relief that washed over me as I watched this was overwhelming ~thanky friend~
@leonard3580
7 жыл бұрын
yesss i got an ad 🙌🏼💜
@graveyardpansy
7 жыл бұрын
Leonard me too!!
@shane4508
7 жыл бұрын
I did too!
@tobikms1709
7 жыл бұрын
Leonard I got a 4 minute ad^^ I was so happy
@aellalee4767
7 жыл бұрын
Not trans, but going through life trials. This helped me feel a bit better because you made it through such big changes.
@boldeeri4516
6 жыл бұрын
I feel better hearing your story. For a whole 4 years I would go back and forth after being trans. I would completely throw out my clothes and create a new persona every time for that whole time and I always thought there was something wrong. Hearing someone who validated that experience really helps. Thanks :)
@ceci2878
7 жыл бұрын
This is so important and I'm so glad that Chase makes videos like this
@marcusshr6791
5 жыл бұрын
I needed this so badly, i live in a constant state of fear that I’m not trans enough, that I’ll regret it etc. These feelings are intensified when I slip from the ideal masculine image such as wearing pink or getting a piercing, these make me doubt myself incase I’m not masculine enough to be a guy. I’m about 3 months away from starting T, I’ve paid to go private as the set backs on the NHS (UK health service) has killed me inside, it’s broke my heart etc as there’s nothing more in this world than to be on T, to have Top surgery, so it’s clear to myself that I’m trans and detransitiong is not what I want but it can’t stop worrying.
@F0XFIRE_
7 жыл бұрын
I thank you so much for talking about all this Chase. I am at exactly that time of fear. I am anxious to exactly not be "trans enough" for everyone. I fear to tell my parents, my family but I know I can't put myself on hold anymore. Tbh I was denying the fact that I hated my body, I took all those feelings and put them in a box, just to not make others uncomfy and now Im at a point where I start breaking bc of it. I told friends, good friend who support me but still the fear is there. I am so glad Im not alone. Like it felt like feeling this way meant Im not trans at all and like my brain was jsut fucked up. Thank you so much. I actually am on the search for a psychologist and I hope the best bc I am sure I want to do transition, I only fear what is afterwards. Do they hate me, am I a bad person to my family, will I make ppl feel uncofy or will I ever get as far as to transition. I can't thank you enough srsly.
@hahaok9587
4 жыл бұрын
I haven't cried in 10 months. This video did it. I can't imagine ever being happy with myself and my life and identity. I hope it happens and these feelings just become the past but I can't even begin to imagine it
@dalesanders8811
6 жыл бұрын
This made me feel so much better because I am scared of transitioning and that makes me feel like I'm not trans enough. It's just really nice to be able to see other people like me
@D.gts03
4 жыл бұрын
I started T a week ago and im terrified ngl, I know im trans and I know I need this BUT its just scary because its that little voice in your mind questioning “what if”
@melodypond215
7 жыл бұрын
*screams* omg I thought I was the only one who felt like that tysm
@MSAL1C3
6 жыл бұрын
I was in such denial and repressed my gender feelings for so long, largely because I've felt like I would lose my family. It wasn't until I hit 32 that I finally actually came out to MYSELF as trans. I've gone in similar cycles of fear and then backing off from transitioning vs massive dysphoria and the desire to move forward right away. I finally got up the courage to go back to the doctor and get a prescription for low dose Androgel yesterday and this is exactly the video I needed to see after that. When I admitted to my doctor that I was feeling afraid, she acted like it was really unusual and it made me *terrified*. Knowing that other people experience it too and that her reaction is just invalidating BS is amazing. Thanks, Chase!
@Samuel-rv5hw
4 жыл бұрын
Wow that was the video I was looking for without even knowing. Trans people should talk more about their fears because everyone seems so sure and it makes me freaking out and thinking that I’m a fake trender.
@liarbyyourside
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Chase, it's so amazing how you always seem to know exactly what I'm thinking about and then upload a video talking about that subject. Your videos give me strength and help me a lot. Keep doing what you're doing, stay strong and stay beautiful - stay you. Have an anxiety-free day! 💙
@macachist
2 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad I found this video. I remember in 2012 when I realized that trans was a thing and that explained so much, and in 2014 I had tried to come out to my mom and she told me it was just a phase and I hid myself for years and felt the need to force myself to be “the girl” and just this week I came out to my partner. I’m 28. I’m so scared, and anxious, about starting t whenever I do but your video expressed so much of my anxiety. Thank you so much for this video.
@maxtaylor2395
7 жыл бұрын
15:45 really hit me. In all honesty, this entire video hit me. As someone who has had top surgery but is terrified of going on T, I really needed this. I can also say for a fact that I had a "oh" moment when my surgery date was approaching. I knew I wanted it more than anything but I was still afraid. I think every trans person experiences that, and it's something that people who are not trans will never understand.
@kcstalder9012
7 жыл бұрын
perfect timing with this one! I've been going back and forth for a while now. I have my good days and I'm sure about it/how I feel but I'm just so afraid. This video helped make an important decision about my therapist though so anyways thank you for this, bro💜
@amandasmith3522
3 жыл бұрын
All I did was cry watching this. I think I have to do this. Thank u for ur videos Chase
@jennak33
7 жыл бұрын
Wow. After my counselling session today I still had fear, it was my first one too. I needed this video, everything spoken about was in some way or form kind of said today in my session... fear is keeping me from T. This is me like regret and such wow..Thank you xo
@EverettChase
7 жыл бұрын
this came at the perfect time. thank you for everything chase, I literally chose my middle name after you because of how much you've helped me lol
@dannydanny7189
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you sooo so much for making these videos. It's just so great to know someone else has these problems too.
@somethingclever8916
5 жыл бұрын
I needed to see this video. As amazing it is to see all the positive trans affirming messages on you tube its nice to see a video about fear. After decades of failed attempts and painful decade of self denial I can come out as a person with gender dysphoria (other than therapy and treatment, and reaching out I have no immediate plans to take action in transition but the 3 I'm doing are good steps. I needed to see this video where someone expresses fear about transition. My first attempt at transition was 20 years ago. Fear was overwhelming (lack of $, insurance and the only trans visibility was awful or drag queens). Thank you for this and yes regret is real. I will add waiting a few months or even a couple years is not that long to wait. Its easier than waiting a life time. Self acceptance is one of the hardest steps in this journey. Some take a life time to accept being trans. And it can be an unhappy journey to get just to self acceptance. Some will die before they get there. So congrats to getting to that point.
@jmtdavis9101
5 жыл бұрын
God, I love you Chase! And not just because you're gorgeous. Thanks for the no BS. I knew I was male from childhood, but way back in the 70's, the word "transgender" might not have even existed. I started testosterone shots at 47, which in my case only hastened my body's natural transition (at my age, I don't need estrogen blockers), but my fear has never been that I'm not trans or "not trans enough". I'm definitely male. My fear has been about being a gay transmale. If my body matches my inside, the description of my orientation shifts from the universally accepted "straight female" to "gay male." That makes me unattractive to the straight men who were interested in me before. But that isn't the bad part... Just a recognition of the gay man I've always been. The bad part is that I'm a gay man without a penis. Yeah, there's phalloplasty. And I know that's where I'm headed. But that's still in the future and I've had trouble imagining a cis man wanting me even then. I outed myself as trans when I needed to be myself so badly, I was willing to give up sex to do it. Thank you for showing me that I'm not unique and I don't have to give up anything. And...well...for being hot. Even old men have fantasies, ya know.
@dude335
7 жыл бұрын
your videos are so honest and raw and it it seriously helpful and inspirational to see this kind of bravery. thank you for doing what you do
@laurawebber1942
7 жыл бұрын
These words are so so so powerful it's amazing
@nathanwatts9610
7 жыл бұрын
I damn near cried watching this. Thank you so much for this video. I'm the only trans person I know and I've never had anyone to turn to for advice or to talk to about trans related things...I feel like I just had an empowering conversation with an older brother I never had. Thank you. I just started T a month ago and although I'm feeling better as time passes, fear of transitioning is something I struggle with for these exact reasons. Seriously, thank you. I had no idea how much I needed to hear this until I watched this video.
@nathanwatts9610
7 жыл бұрын
Especially the part where you talk about when you started to figure out you were trans...god, that hit me so hard. I went through the same thing and rejected myself and my identity for so long bc I felt like a freak and I wanted to just be normal. It took me such a long time to be as comfortable in my identity as I am, and even to be confident enough to be public about who I am and stay strong in the face of cis nonsense and self doubt. It's uncanny how similar our experiences have been. I'm so happy for you that you've gotten to this point and that you're proud of your transness! I really hope I get there someday as well when I've transitioned more and I'm not so dysphoric all the time, lol. Also, fun fact for you: back in the day in like 2012, when I first started to figure things out, I used to binge watch your videos and they helped a lot. The trans community on KZitem has somehow provided a lot of guidance for me as a trans person, since I don't have that irl. Idk how to phrase it exactly, but anyway. Keep doing what you're doing. Much love from the US. :-)
@pancakes308
5 жыл бұрын
I am a young straight women, but I like to watch videos like this so I can stop living in ignorance. I don’t know much about the trans community so when it comes up in conversation I’m lost. These videos help me understand more about the community and the struggles that Trans people go through. So thank you.
@daphne3912
6 жыл бұрын
It's such a relief to hear this. Thank you so much.
@doniaabdelazeem8527
Жыл бұрын
I hope you find your sense of identity and feel comfortable in your own skin. Pain changes us and this is what I believe leads to drastic change. I’m sorry you went through all that. It sounds scary to go through a surgery to transition. Honestly, I hope you love yourself and know that God will guide you to people who help you love who you are at your core.
@dimitriscloset7730
7 жыл бұрын
I needed this video. I've waited 6 years to make an appointment to get on hrt and as soon as I made the appointment the fear struck me harder than it ever has. But also after waiting for so long, I know I need to transition. I think a lot of my fear is about external stuff. But really though this video came into my life at the perfect time.
@leeawnadeary2648
6 жыл бұрын
I’ve watched this video once before and I came back to rewatch it because...I’ve been questioning my gender identity my whole life but I would just push it away and ignore it and I’m finally just sitting down and sifting through the bullshit in my head. I am so scared, Chase. I’m so scared of what if this really is me and...what if I regret it... so rewatching this video helped me realize that there was someone out there who was terrified too and that felt like they weren’t trans enough either. Thank you for being out here. One day I hope I get to meet you because I’d like to hug you and say thank you for being the person I can turn to to understand how to pack when I finally work up the courage to even buy a packer or how to bind correctly because top surgery is something I can’t afford right now. Just thank you. You’re awesome and maybe one day I’ll work up the courage to stop being so damn scared.
@HikachuTsuke
6 жыл бұрын
This made me feel so much better knowing that I’m not alone in this fear. I’m getting my first T prescription in a week from now and I’ve never been more scared of transitioning and never had so many doubts in my life. But I know that this is good for me. Maybe it’s because I had to go to a therapist to get my letter and I feel like she needed convincing because she had never heard of a genderfluid trans person. Thanks for this video. I really needed it. 🤗
@stormageddon101
7 жыл бұрын
Thank you SOOO fucking much for posting this video :'D this is something I really needed since I've been going through the same problems. The constant doubting as to whether I should transition. Whether I'm going to regret it or detransition. All that stuff, but then there's how I feel without things like hormones. Even just typing it is one of the very few things that makes me begin to cry. Again, thank you SO much for this video. I think it might actually change my life :'D
@FireHyena13
6 жыл бұрын
This video is great, I really needed that cause I feel like everyone (getting)on T was extremly sure about it, and not scared at all.
@vivikemp
6 жыл бұрын
Holly shit. this video represents me in so many ways. thank you so much for showing me Im not alone. Love you!!
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