These videos are very inspirational to me. As a recovering addict it’s necessary to understand why we are the we are. I’ve begun my own project where I interview the local homeless. And help them with resources. I was homeless for 6 months myself until I went to rehab. Today I have a little over four months off fentanyl
@jeepwj
2 жыл бұрын
first congrats on your clean time! I've got a little over a year myself! and second absolutely awesome that you do something like this also to help!
@emilylouden3349
2 жыл бұрын
Good job!! It’s not easy, in November I’ll have 10 years
@SandraSmith-vb5pf
2 жыл бұрын
Onwards And Upwards And Just Being Safe and Warm 🕯🙏
@bubbacosta8758
2 жыл бұрын
Stay strong
@wesleyalan9179
2 жыл бұрын
❤💪🙏💜
@charlottechipps4982
2 жыл бұрын
Smartest most self aware person interview you have done. I like her. She doesn’t blame anyone but herself.
@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607
2 жыл бұрын
She didn’t know what an “open air drug market” was (“open…market…air-whateverthefuck”) or how to say “Euphoric,” so I’m not sure I’d call her smart. Self aware? Absolutely.
@kgreene460
2 жыл бұрын
@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 When people do not know how to pronounce a word it is usually because they have only READ the word, it's the opposite of what you said, it does in fact prove she is in fact intelligent. Also, EMPATHY is a sign of inteligence that you completely LACK, Anna.
@cmoore7780
2 жыл бұрын
Yea I don’t know about smartest but I agree with the self aware for sure. I she can get sober
@murloc9544
2 жыл бұрын
A lot of people on this channel are self aware. addiction can be passed down, it’s a generation curse in my opinion. Just because someone wasn’t strong enough to break the cycle doesn’t mean everything is their fault.
@murloc9544
2 жыл бұрын
@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 that’s was ignorant but, go off.
@markb8474
2 жыл бұрын
Wow. This interview hit me hard. In some of your interviews, it's hard to have sympathy for the person. However, Crystal's self-awareness and honesty, and the way she described a life of addiction nearly had me in tears. Crystal, you said you've tried rehab 34 times. Please go to #35 and don't give up. You are worth it. There are a lot of people out here pulling for you. Please keep trying.
@zeromczero7369
2 жыл бұрын
What is the Japanese saying.....fall down 7 times get up 8? Prayers up for this gal.
@ladielynn008
2 жыл бұрын
You can do it Crystal!! I’m praying for you 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Heal her from addiction in Jesus name 😞
@nadiannaquin7213
2 жыл бұрын
Seeing her break down after she was asked “are you afraid you’ll be here the rest of your life”? Is her testimony of wanting a better life for herself. There’s a fire in everyone to fight through life’s trials. You got this !!!
@nickstoolsmedia3732
2 жыл бұрын
She's full of shit
@boujeeghetto2024
2 жыл бұрын
love this comment. thank you
@TaShaBeNz85
2 жыл бұрын
Amen❤️
@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607
2 жыл бұрын
It’s a damn shame how most of these interviewees measure the degree of childhood success. “I never went hungry, always had new clothes for school, Christmases were good etc.” Your parents are SUPPOSED to feed, clothe, & bring you joy-that’s covering your basic necessities as a human. Did they provide for you emotionally, spiritually, morally, & bring you stability? Were they your role models of strength, integrity, & dependability? That’s how every child should be able to measure their parents.
@sallyann985
2 жыл бұрын
That's probably because they hear many of their fellows drug addicts not having most of those things. Also it's not uncommon for parents of all walks of life to measure their own success on doing the absolute minimum that you describe above. It's a cultural thing.
@RushMayhemIV
2 жыл бұрын
This is KEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@anthonyonorato9354
2 жыл бұрын
This goes way beyond an interview, this is a real discussion back-and-forth. I hope people reach out to this woman.
@spitfirestake54
11 ай бұрын
34 rehabs. She can only be helped when she’s ready
@mrspricey
2 жыл бұрын
Respect to this lady for her honesty. I hope she gets the help she needs soon
@ivysweet4467
2 жыл бұрын
How do you know it was honesty? She is a drug addict; would be suffering from memory issues & her cognitive functioning would be severely effected due to her substance abuse. Also, they are manipulators & are known story tellers. Smarten up.
@johnpatrick3718
Жыл бұрын
Wish you the best, Crystal.
@bryan123483
2 жыл бұрын
She describes the life of addiction so well. It's hard to really get across what it's like to live that way. I remember when I was in it, i would look at people that I thought were "normal" and i had no connection to their world and felt like they'd never understand what my world was like. Getting off of fentanyl after using heroin for 10 years was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My little brother was never able to get clean before he overdosed for the last time and passed away in 2016. Sometimes i wonder how I stayed clean after that. My heart goes out to this woman and everyone that has their life taken over by addiction. It's just so sad.
@AliciaM5555
2 жыл бұрын
@Yourname Godspeed my friend 💖💖🙏🙏
@guitarpoetone1
2 жыл бұрын
You are so right I've been off heroin for 19 years but I been on methadone it's hard to get off I'm down to 30mg now from 120mg but I can't go any lower I'm really sick of it
@kristiriley
2 жыл бұрын
@@guitarpoetone1 Don't be so hard on yourself dude. You have been off it for 19 years! That's incredible. If you are needing assistance to help you stay that way, who cares. As long as you're still on the right path, right?
@nicoeeek.7181
2 жыл бұрын
@@kristiriley Yep I totally agree!!
@Phoenix-tq8lt
2 жыл бұрын
@@guitarpoetone1 why can't you go lower?
@s-potter
2 жыл бұрын
She’s so incredibly lucid and self-aware. I wish her nothing but the best, she can beat this.
@birdflipper
2 жыл бұрын
This morning I'm going into the hospital for 5 days to detox from fentanyl/tranq*. I relapsed about 3 years ago after having 3 years clean andI want my life back more than anything but the sickness is so horrible that I've given up everytime that I've tried to kick. I'm going far enough away that it won't be easy to simply walk out if I feel like giving up.
@rachelfaulk9171
2 жыл бұрын
U got this. Stay on track and do this for you. And remember...you are stronger than an drug. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
@jas7579
2 жыл бұрын
praying for you
@nowweride3094
2 жыл бұрын
Hang in there, you got this!
@poppinsmoke9180
2 жыл бұрын
You can do this you no it will get easier
@birdflipper
2 жыл бұрын
@@poppinsmoke9180 I made it through the detox and was discharged on Sat. morning. Early Monday morning my feet and ankles started to swell up to the point that I wound up back in the hospital, where I have been since Monday night. The doctor thinks maybe its a side effect of the oral high blood pressure medicine I started taking the night I was discharged. Weird. Still hasn't gone down much and I'm still in the hospital. At least I'm over the withdrawals and feel much better despite this unexpected situation. Thanks for your kind words of support!
@k10batmama
2 жыл бұрын
My sister died of a fentanyl overdose last year. We had such a bad life and she was swept away by it. RIP Samantha Ashley 8/23/91-2/4/21
@tzmonet860jones8
2 жыл бұрын
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@doloresparra4604
Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry, sending love and light.
@rachelwyatt6030
Жыл бұрын
We have the same birthday 🥳 I will celebrate Ashley because I’ve never met anyone with the same bday and I’ll never forget her now. I hope you are okay. Sending you love and prayers (even though it doesn’t do much for something so terrible). ❤
@tinavarble8671
Жыл бұрын
Im so sorry for your loss.Please keep my daughter Sarah Ann Reed who is missing from Honolulu Hawaii for almost 10 years keep her and Our family and friends in your prayers Thank u
@charissekauhn3130
2 жыл бұрын
This is the most honest nitty gritty depiction of the street life I have heard so far out of an addicts mouth. She did not sugar coat anything. This testimony will keep curious ppl from doing drugs. Thanks Crystal I really believe you can change and I have hope that God will send the right help to you at the right time. Prayers your way.
@AntiPlatitude
2 жыл бұрын
Sadly I disagree with your assertion that this will keep people from doing drugs. The “scared straight” approach has never worked and it never will.
@ivysweet4467
2 жыл бұрын
How do you know its honesty ? Why are people so easily convinced by words ? Drug addicts are known to tell stories, overexaggerate & recall situations completely different to how they happened etc...regardless of what you believe.
@kurdishgirl6361
2 жыл бұрын
Her smile at the end was beautiful. Hope she can get out of there and forgive herself for the promise she broke. It’s never too late to make positive changes.
@tonyalexander7321
2 жыл бұрын
Beautiful…..were
@mstreech
2 жыл бұрын
@@tonyalexander7321 what?
@micapandurcic8739
2 жыл бұрын
You are totaly right Kurdish Girl, that was amiable , beautiful smile of Crystal at the end of talk with Mark ....
@savannahwilson9955
Жыл бұрын
@tonyalexander7321 If you’re going to insult someone, use the correct words prick. The word you were looking for is where, not were. Then your smartass comment would make sense. The funny thing is, she CAN change, & somebody like you will always be an asshole. It is what it is. 🙃
@snuff-lh1zt
9 ай бұрын
@@mstreechI think that person was trying to say "where" and I assume that meant to be rude. It's like why do people make a rude or negative comment if it's only going to hurt someone? If it's meant to be helpful that's one thing. This is why I dislike the majority of people because the majority are rude. Because I made that generalization I could be taken the same way though I guess
@jmarrocco
2 жыл бұрын
Crystal makes it really clear how the whole addiction spiral happens. Really good interview.
@sydneyfc7769
Жыл бұрын
It happeneds when they think it’s all fun and games when there young
@kdaze10
2 жыл бұрын
This one makes me so sad...I really empathize with her. I just wish she knew that she can do this. She's worth so much more than she realizes. You can tell there is so much more to her behind the drugs. I'd love to see a video a year from now with her sober and working on herself....she just breaks my heart.
@amberm2777
2 жыл бұрын
Would love to see some interviews of people who went from this to being stable and in recovery.
@Mama-tea
2 жыл бұрын
Look through , there are a few
@cherrygirl64
2 жыл бұрын
Look through his videos there are several
@nicolesawyer7117
2 жыл бұрын
It’s very rare unfortunately
@susansoper7688
2 жыл бұрын
Sad truth is drug addiction is a diease.
@zeromczero7369
2 жыл бұрын
With due respect-I wish ppl would stop saying this. It is a disease in the same way type 2 diabetes is. If you have a predisposition to getting diabetes and you don't watch your diet and your weight...there's a strong possibility you are going to get it. Conversely, if you abstain from eating crap and take care of yourself-there is a good chance you will not. So...if you know you have a good chance at inheriting a "disease" like alcoholism and drug addiction because,say....your mom or dad was one...then the best way not to "get it" is by abstaining. It's a disease of choice-don't get it twisted.
@jeangilmer6228
Жыл бұрын
Crystal you have so much to offer… your sweet spirit, your articulate, and transparency is a gift. Praying for a big recovery and peace ❤
@lavenderandchaos
2 жыл бұрын
I would love to do an interview as I was addicted to heroin/fentanyl and got into recovery, had 2 kids, became a home owner, and completely turned my life around to show your viewers that there is hope and that people can completely turn their lives around even after being homeless and having nothing 🤍
@ToadyWoods
2 жыл бұрын
“my life”… you mean you should be this person?
@lavenderandchaos
2 жыл бұрын
@@ToadyWoods this was pre-coffee. I didn’t mean to write “someone” lol
@lavenderandchaos
2 жыл бұрын
@@ToadyWoods but honestly it doesn’t have to be me. Anyone that’s turned their life around would be an amazing interview.
@krissykriss328
2 жыл бұрын
Im living proof as well! Three years clean, and my life has never been better ❤❤ Congratulations by the way ! ❤❤
@lavenderandchaos
2 жыл бұрын
@@krissykriss328 thank you! Congratulations to you as well!
@froandcara
2 жыл бұрын
Here’s someone where their portrait doesn’t show the emotional intelligence that’s inside. Going by the portrait I thought she would be really out of her mind. Good heart and a very cool person. I wish a clean life for her. I hope she’s able to vision what she wants and believe she can do it. Everything is about visioning what you want and practicing / repetition once you get there. Some have a harder time rewiring patterns they were taught as children but it can be done! 🙏🏼
@briannovak3167
2 жыл бұрын
I've been clean off all mind altering substances and alcohol since 4-16-22 (fent/blues were my main thing)... On Suboxone and living in a clean and sober house. It's hard staying clean but worth it. Everything she says is true. I was homeless in china town in Seattle and it's no joke. Terrifying yet alluring at the same time. God bless this woman. I can tell she's a good person at heart. If anyone is reading this pray for me. I need it. ❤️
@tymaracooney4915
2 жыл бұрын
You got this Brian! Keep raising your vibration. We live in a society that wants to keep us low so we can be controlled but really we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Feed your soul!! Try listening to binural beats 432 hz to 532 hz and just breathe. Much love. You got this!!
@briannovak3167
2 жыл бұрын
@@tymaracooney4915 ❤️❤️❤️
@77D777
2 жыл бұрын
@@briannovak3167 I'm on subs to it's better then being hooked on that evil dope..how much you take everyday?
@briannovak3167
2 жыл бұрын
@@77D777 16mg. I'm dissolving rn actually lol. I'm considering the sublocade shot but I dunno. Wish I could do vivitrol but I can't stop using for 2 weeks let alone quit Suboxone that long to be able to jump on it. People are pretty biased towards Suboxone but it's saving my life.
@77D777
2 жыл бұрын
@@briannovak3167 same here I'm on a pretty low dose and it's helping a lot..u have any side effects? Yeah I don't care what other people think long as we ain't doing fent I don't care
@michellehyde7750
2 жыл бұрын
Out of all the interviews of addicts, this one got me right in the heart. Something about her that just pierced me. What a waste of a life on this one. She could be something great. I see it. Being an ex addict myself, I can see she has something. She can be something. This was tough to watch.
@lyddmercedes14
5 ай бұрын
I’m in recovery as well and yeah, this one broke my heart 😢
@blahblah-ce8es
2 жыл бұрын
I wish I could tell her how smart she is and how amazing her heart is.. she was dealt difficult cards but I pray she pushes through this. ❤️🙏
@lionessathena8679
2 жыл бұрын
She's the perfect candidate for recovery- she's utterly honest, and she might be at her bottom. Praying for her. I'm a recovering alcoholic myself. I also lived in Philadelphia for 20 years- Kensington has long been a mess, but she's not the first person to report that it's taken a jump off a cliff in the last couple years.
@SuperBumblebee86
2 жыл бұрын
This lady talking to someone clean and sober... in a world of drugs, abuse, crazy and violence must be so refreshing
@alejandromaside1364
2 жыл бұрын
Hey Mark, just here to say that your work is absolutely amazing and inspiring. I'm from Spain and I'm a film editor working on advertising but with a strong love for documentary work. I discovered your channel lately and I love everything about it. From the type of people you brilliantly and respectfully give voice to the straight, naked format, typography and everything! Thank you for bringing such a big and authentic portrait of our times to the internet. You have a new friend in Barcelona! LOVE.
@deannamuir22
2 жыл бұрын
This is probably the first interview you have done that actually made me tear up. I always feel sympathetic for these people but this one was hard to watch bc you truly can feel how she feels 💔
@bookerk4388
2 жыл бұрын
This interview really touched me.Crystal is a woman that really needs and deserves a hand up and out of there. 🙏
@r00t_sh3ll
2 жыл бұрын
Man that was way too heavy for a Tuesday morning. Was not expecting that. Damnnn.. hug you kids, hug you parents, hug your partner, be kind to each other. Love yourself. Tomorrow is not promised and everyday you are healthy and breathing is a gift. I hope she finds peace , whatever that looks like for her.
@stevebaker2890
2 жыл бұрын
Bless her honesty, broke my heart when she was talking about not knowing she was happy at the time and that the way she's dressed now is a good day when a few years ago she wouldn't have been seen like that on a bad day, I so hope she can change her life and become the happy person she was meant to be.
@kimmacputz
2 жыл бұрын
That was such an honest conversation, raw. I really feel for each and every one of the people that are living through this time. I have watched some super scary videos on the drugs out there, new stuff, the most unthinkable concoctions. I live a humle and blessed life in comparison to many and I am so grateful for that each day. People protect your children ♥ Mark. Not sure if you will see her again, even if you buy her a warm jacket. It's something, the thought of people being hungry or cold, for whatever reason, breaks me 😢 take a moment to practice gratitude each day, you never know what lies around the corner ✌🏻
@catherinewholey3630
2 жыл бұрын
The part where she's describing the "is this real?" when it feels like it's fake and not actually what's happening sounds like dissociation. I do this a lot too because of Complex PTSD. She's had a lot of bad stuff happen so could be, or more likely an effect of the drugs. Either way I get exactly what she means about the completely unreal feelings She's so sad and tired and often on the verge of tears. On top of everything else she feels such guilt about her children. I hope she gets clean and finds peace.
@tromp5956
2 жыл бұрын
she also commented she had meth induced issues. it can cause psychosis. probably a bit of both i imagine.
@roxannerodriguez7075
2 жыл бұрын
I experience that feeling a lot with my dreams. My dreams/nightmares will be so vivid and will include real people and places in my life. So then during the day I often remember something and have to think "wait, was that real?" Or I'll just act on something like "oh , I gotta call my sister back and ask her how everything went!" But my sister has no idea what I'm talking about. Then I realize it was a dream...
@rachelwyatt6030
Жыл бұрын
I disassociate a lot as well. Sometimes my husband has to wave in my face and tell me to come back. I look at it as “lost time”. I’ve never known why I do that especially since it’s at random times.
@sankhulani
2 жыл бұрын
This was the best and most honest interview I've seen. She seems so sad and tired. She describes how hard life is so clearly. I hope she is OK.🙏
@brendablais6138
2 жыл бұрын
Of all the interviews I've seen of life in Kensington, Crystal explained in vivid detail the clearest of any. Thank you Crystal for sharing your story. I 🙏 you can turn things around. ❤
@angelabernhardt6761
2 жыл бұрын
Her self-awareness and ability to articulate is really amazing. I really hope she decides to get help and that it sticks. I could see her being a great counselor for addicts. She definitely has been there and knows the ropes.
@KateLibby555
2 жыл бұрын
My heart was breaking listening to her story. Her raw honestly and pain was deafening. A beautiful soul trapped in a living hell. I hope that someone watching this can reach out and help her. My goodness she is worth saving!! ❤️
@corvo6724
2 жыл бұрын
This and several other of these videos should be required viewing in High School. Required solo viewing, not in an assembly... in a quiet room so that the viewer can be alone with the person being interviewed free of distraction. An amazing compendium of work is being developed, here. I hope it gets the attention it deserves, for the good of everyone, producer, subject, and viewer alike.
@roxannerodriguez7075
2 жыл бұрын
Especially in that area! I wonder how many families or children live near the Kensington/Skid row neighborhoods? I'd really be afraid for their futures...
@drewdixon7525
2 жыл бұрын
It was a privilege to hear her story! ❤️❤️❤️
@millions2nette
Жыл бұрын
Wow! She said at first you're looking down at them... The eat out of dumpsters, and stuff like that... After a while, you like them, you're sitting with them... YOU ARRRREEE THEM!!! That sounded so haunting. Gave me a lil shiver.
@lindarutledge9104
2 жыл бұрын
Crystal is such a bright lady. Doesn’t blame anyone. I wish you healing and a new life. My heart breaks for you, but I know God is with you.
@julz9378
2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, it’s always been her normal. Sadly, she succumbed to it and that’s probably what makes it so hard to completely stop and stay sober. She’s a bright intelligent beautiful young lady and I hope she will go to rehab again
@misse2013
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Crystal! I hope you can make it out of this place soon ♡
@jah7763
2 жыл бұрын
Mark, you are on fire!! Thank you so much for all of your hard work and consistency. Beyond amazed!
@jaxxiet5851
2 жыл бұрын
Crystals story made me so sad, I hope she can see the comments how many people are pulling for her. I think the trap of guilt and shame of breaking that one promise keeps her there. I hope she can forgive herself and get sober. What a heartbreaking story.
@BeeKay4444
2 жыл бұрын
Crystal I send you positivity, strength and wisdom. Please see what a total stranger sees in you. I see a beautiful soul who is just stuck in that hamster wheel of drug life. You are WORTH the fight. Fight for sobriety and you will finally find the PEACE you deserve. ✌🏼💟
@bossanovabossanova3386
2 жыл бұрын
this is actually a really important channel. you dont have to like everyone in every video, the point is to show how human everyone is and who people are and why so we can understand how to impact society in bigger ways
@SStteeeevviiiiiiii
2 жыл бұрын
Crystal, if you ever see this... You are so worth it, girl! Get into detox, do what you have to to get yourself clean (even if that means Suboxone or methadone, whatever is available) because you have A LOT to offer!!! You could work in recovery. Start by living at a sober living house. It sounds not great, but just to start. You should be AT LEAST a peer support specialist and guide addicts out of the drug life. You'd be so great at it if you were clean. I'm telling you, you have so much potential. Big heart, fantastic mind. Anyone who does fentanyl and can give such an excellent interview like this is not too far gone. I am on Suboxone still, but I used to live under a bridge and hustle and I'm back on the other side and happy and you can do it too. You really can. You're amazing and I wish you good health and happiness, but you have to go for it. For you, not for anyone else. I hope you get there. Like I said, you matter ❤️
@poppy8810
2 жыл бұрын
I want to give you a hug and make all the pain go away , girl I believe in you. You still have your spirit and you are still able to get better. It will take time for your kids to come back but it will be so worth it being a mom again , you got this
@ashleylewis1047
2 жыл бұрын
It's always SO VERY HEARTBREAKING to see people addicted to such life changing substances! As a person who loves someone who has an addiction it is SO hard to deal with people like this, you want them to get away from you but at the same time you're scared not knowing where they are or if they're even alive still wherever they are! Prayers for people going through addiction and also for those who love them. It is hard both ways..
@loriallen7366
2 жыл бұрын
I admire your honesty and your openness… I pray that you find your way out sweetheart… maybe a medically assisted treatment center could help ( methadone) . I’m six year clean now from getting help from a treatment clinic … so that’s why I suggested that… you deserve soooo much better honey!!! And you can do it !!!❤️thank you so much for sharing because these videos help so many people…
@Crypt007
2 жыл бұрын
Girlfriend of 5 years left me for another man when I was in addiction. She told me being sober for 2 weeks was not that long. I begged her to forgive me that I'd get better. She married the guy within a few months. Well it's been 9 years now, sober. I have a 6 figure job, house, 2 cars, child, different wife. Sometimes the best revenge is doing good for yourself. I guess that old girlfriend was wrong about me... IF YOU ARE IN ADDICTION YOU CAN GET OUT.
@sarahhitchcock3786
2 жыл бұрын
The pure despair and sorrow in her face and voice is truly heartbreaking 💔
@Jay-hp6pu
2 жыл бұрын
Hey mark, I have an idea for an interview that I think would be interesting. I’m not sure how it works with finding subjects for these videos, but if you could somehow get a bodybuilder on here that’s addicted to steroids and all the crazy shit that comes with it I think that would be great. I know you work out yourself and I’m sure you’ve seen these guys at the gym that have taken it way too far, and to the point of nearly killing themselves from these drugs. These guys typically have some wild stories. Maybe it would only interest me but I thought maybe a few others would find it interesting to hear that dark side of the “fitness” industry. Just my two cents.
@abbiesonntag3855
2 жыл бұрын
Yes. I need to get a perspective on steroids and how they affect the brain/personality. Would love to see something about this.
@bronwynlandis
2 жыл бұрын
I’d watch that!! It would be a glimpse into something society deems more acceptable but is just as dangerous.
@melissamcnamee7670
2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant suggestion!
@cherrygirl64
2 жыл бұрын
Great idea it is a dirty secret rarely talked about. Steroid psychosis is real!
@lizwaa100
2 жыл бұрын
yes - would be eyeopening listening to a muscle/steroid addicted person
@brooklynsalinas6435
2 жыл бұрын
I believe TEEN CHALLENGE would be a really great option for some of the people one these interviews.. Teen Challenge has multiple locations, praying that these people gain the strength and courage to live a better life they deserve it and most of all so do their kids. ❤️ My mom finally got sober after going into that program she’s been sober 9 months and has the best relationship with God, He is the only one that can truly deliver a person from their addictions. I think this lady can benefit from Teen Challenge she has potential.
@junglegirl5174
2 жыл бұрын
I love her. She's like a small girl, a little bit lost in the woods, she's so beautiful. I see thru a bit messy hair and a bit dirty sweater. She's so cute with them big beautiful blue eyes that have seen too much negative. She's so innocent. A pure soul. One in a million, very special.
@Glo0206
2 жыл бұрын
her talking about her kids towards the end really broke me, because that is the one reason why many addicts parents don’t reach or try because they feel that their kids hate them or don’t want to see them when that’s not the case for some children
@randywilson2332
2 жыл бұрын
I'm so greatful for your videos man I wake up and drink my coffee qnd just wait for the new video
@annawarnalis4072
2 жыл бұрын
What an absolutely beautiful soul you are Crystal. You will get through this. Thankyou for your vulnerability and honesty. There is still time to heal ! I am rooting for you sister.
@ericherbigphdmba7598
2 жыл бұрын
This is legit art. Simplicity + untold truth.
@carnivorebear6582
2 жыл бұрын
Xylazine is the animal tranquiliser she is referring to
@kgreene460
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Crystal. I'm really sorry that you're in this spot but I am confident that you can and will get to the life that you want and deserve!
@kerrihughes1719
2 жыл бұрын
Maybe it's because I live in Philly and used to do outreach on Kensington, but there is a whole deeper level or desperation and sadness here on the east coast than west coast skid row interviews. Philly is really hard.
@yo-bc3ox
Жыл бұрын
Omg so raw. I waych every video of urs every night before bed. I'm 3 years sober n this helps me stay that way. This girl right here I'm praying for extra hard tonight
@jennyloohoo
2 жыл бұрын
This is NOT the your end story, Crystal. I pray peace over your life. God is with you keeping you safe right now...Get out before it is too late. Fear can paralyze a person...Faith can help you get up and run. I've been there...
@Jmilillo
2 жыл бұрын
I come from a family of addicts. My parents are both addicts. Like Crystal, I was raised by my grandparents, who barely even drank. My mother has about 5 years sober, and is married and living a good life now. My father is still a heroin addict who struggles to stay clean. There was a lot of fighting between my grandparents and my mother, and she was always in and out of my life. I'm 15 now, an A student, an accomplished musician, and I refuse to ever do drugs. Thanks Mimi and Pop Pop!
@MrEdkern
Жыл бұрын
Cool joseph. Keep up the good work. God bless and stay healthy.
@MrEdkern
Жыл бұрын
Forgot to tell you that i saw the beatles and rolling stones in 1966. Saw bob dylan in november of 1965. I met him in 1991. Again keep up the good work and good luck with your music.
@desiresalonskin1280
2 жыл бұрын
Short and to the point but one of the best interviews. “ You can’t trust no one “
@betsybabf748
2 жыл бұрын
This is where I have an issue. I had to fight, with the help of hospice care, to get my mom, who was dying with stage 4 terminal cancer, who never abused any substance in her life (nor has any family member), to get the pain relief. Doctors are afraid to prescribe because they get blamed for people abusing them. She died 5 weeks later, but at the time, unable to get on a bed pan alone, we felt safe she wasn't going to start a life trolling for dealers. But so many get pills like suboxone, when clearly not clean, to sell them.
@thematriarchy2075
2 жыл бұрын
I am sorry about your mom. A for profit medical system is the problem.
@HP-fn4bo
2 жыл бұрын
You should blame the pharmaceutical reps who incentivized doctors for TWENTY YEARS to get their patients, regardless of age, strung out on OxyContin. Then when they got busted they pulled everyone’s meds.
@teresa9508
2 жыл бұрын
I live in South of France I walk 15 min out of my house and there are People selling Benzos. I was addicted to them. But I managed to stop . Little step by little step
@deedee8367
2 жыл бұрын
So sorry for your loss and your pain that must have been so frustrating and upsetting ❤️❤️❤️
@jessica2brook
2 жыл бұрын
I agree, but at the same time, doctors are the very people who were handing out pain pills like candy in the past, without informing people of the addiction potential, ultimately contributing to getting people hooked on them. And now, because of their negligence, they rarely give them out to people who actually need them. I had the same issue when my 70 year old father was in and out of the hospital in excruciating pain and they refused to prescribe him anything. He suffered for weeks. He slept a few hours a day, at the most, because the pain was so excruciating. I was furious. Edit: My father has no history of drug use. He never smoked a cigarette, never tried weed, and doesn't drink, besides maybe a glass of wine at Christmas dinner, maybe. Yet they allowed him to suffer for nearly a month in agonizing pain. It's ridiculous.
@coaldustgypsy1851
2 жыл бұрын
The guy that does the interviews on Soft White Underbelly is the most understanding, empathic individual. He never disrespects anyone and is kind to all. Never disrespectful nor have any tone of disgust with anyone he interviews. I am from the Appalachian area and started watching SWU when he did his interviews with those in the area. I moved away from the Appalachian area at 17 but the mountains brought me back at 30. I am blessed to be an attorney who received great experience in Florida but the Appalachian people are taken advantage of. Those with money run the area. Those without money don’t stand a chance. I moved to an area with nothing but the good ole boys club and go against what has always been what is accepted in the area. I do have bills to pay and people come to me because I am not one of the hometown clique. Those individuals do pay. Injustice is done everyday to individuals and rights are stomped on. For those individuals, I let them or their family members make payments they can afford to hire an attorney. I have some clients I do not charge a dime to bc I get sick and so worked up about what happened to them. The beaches of Florida were great but the mountains called me home. The Appalachian people need to be heard and protected. SWU did a phenomenal job in that series by letting individuals be individuals and not just stereotypes. I watch every episode now.
@miapdx503
2 жыл бұрын
We've been deceived by tptb. Left or right, black or white, young or old, when the real divide is between the haves and the have nots. They play us against each other then go and eat and drink and sleep together and laugh at how gullible we are. My hope is that we can learn to see each other how God sees us...as human beings. 🌹
@coaldustgypsy1851
2 жыл бұрын
@@miapdx503 I agree. The divide is getting worse. It’s all about money rather than using your God given abilities to make a difference.
@miapdx503
2 жыл бұрын
@@coaldustgypsy1851 🌹
@skycuocolo4346
Жыл бұрын
There is a genuine sadness that really moves me about you. I am glad you still have hope, you can't lose that. I wish you nothing but peace in your journey Andrea, with the right resources you can do it.
@nadinekorner-schiavo5126
2 жыл бұрын
Omgosh I have to say I was hesitant to watch & I wanted to stay open minded & open hearted & my heart just broke for you Crystal the anguish the regret the raw emotions just flooded out. I could feel your pain… I wish you hope 🙏🏻🦋
@tailer1933
2 жыл бұрын
Powerful stuff. Drugs really have a bad hold on America. I wish her strength and happiness. Gonna need an update on her later if possible. Stay blessed 🥲
@baublesanddolls
2 жыл бұрын
Not just America!!!!!!
@tailer1933
2 жыл бұрын
@@baublesanddolls I have traveled the world and have lived abroad for 20 years and I do realize that. But this channel focuses on America so that’s why I said America. Definitely a global problem tho. But what I have seen first hand in America is a lot worse than some of the other countries I have been to. Here in Portland it’s really in your face on the streets.
@Siobhan146
2 жыл бұрын
It's so sad that people see her sitting on the street and propositioned her because they know she is down on her luck. Where is people's Humanity? If you read this sister just know that you have so much more worth then money. I know you can pull your self out of this situation, I wish you well!
@Siobhan146
2 жыл бұрын
@ilkldme disgusting is the right word
@HP-fn4bo
2 жыл бұрын
The drugs are messing with your mind Crystal. Giving you paranoia and dementia. Please stop. You could have a beautiful few decades full of recovery, health and peace. I need to take my own advice and you’ve inspired me to go to a meeting later today. I’m not religious but I’m going to pray for you because you seem like a truly lovely woman.
@Kinitopet12346
2 жыл бұрын
No major hoods in Philly are like this BUT K&A (Kensington&Allegheny) this is worse than the Hood😔 this ain’t even the hood it’s a drug addict city within a city🥶 I had to purchase a car and drove by and was in shock!
@MissFunkyH
2 жыл бұрын
Oh man, 3:18 hits hard. I was too raised in a partying family. Parties here, there, for every occasion. A LOT of alcoholics around me, I thought this was normal. I really thought my friends all had similar weekends. Then you grow up and you realize everything...
@jah7763
2 жыл бұрын
100%. I thought growing up in an addict family was normal. I thought being a "functioning" addict was the successful way to live. Then I grew up and realized that all of my childhood dreams were so sad. Weird.
@nicolesawyer7117
2 жыл бұрын
I am worried about my 5 year old niece because her moms side of the family is a partying family. They even let the kids drink and encourage them to chug beer like it’s funny or something.
@TheNinnyBug
2 жыл бұрын
This one hit me harder than any others on here. My heart is broken for this woman. I really hope she can rise out of this.
@smooches1226
2 жыл бұрын
So intelligent. I pray she gets it together. She deserves it
@JayCaseGT500
2 жыл бұрын
Your grandparents saved you from a life of Foster Care. You were blessed just because of that. Foster Care is hell. Glad you didn't suffer through that. Good Luck.
@SStteeeevviiiiiiii
2 жыл бұрын
I see myself in her so much. I started doing drugs as a teen, but would always get clean after a few months of running wild. I had 2 kids and was good for awhile. Then I fell off and went drugging for 2 years because I couldn't kick fentanyl like other drugs. I was living under a bridge, getting robbed and raped regularly and didn't even care at one point. I thought I was a goner, but I reached out to my kids dad and he helped me go to detox. I got on Suboxone, got into counseling, AA, reconnected with family and now I'm back with my kids and their dad like a normal family. I'm terrified every day that I will end up back there, but I feel like the fear is what keeps me in check. I'm so happy and healthy now people can't even tell what I was like a year ago. I've got 9 months off drugs now. This woman reminds me of myself. Fentanyl is SUCH a different drug. Even when it's out of your system, you want it. No matter how bad it got, you still want it. I used to judge people on methadone or Suboxone, but now I get it. I'm on the lowest dose, but I still take Suboxone to keep the cravings away. People judge me, but it's giving me a good, normal life. I'm 100% here for my kids now and I don't think I would be if I hadn't been on Suboxone, at least at first. I hope to get off of it eventually, after awhile longer with counseling and healthy routines. I understand where she's at. Without A LOT OF HELP, it's near impossible to get clean off of fentanyl. The withdrawal from fentanyl went on and on and on when I tried to detox on my own. At the one month mark I said "I'd rather die than spend one more day detoxing like this" and my friend suggested meth to combat the withdrawal. That worked, but then I was tweeking and ended up back on the blues (fentanyl) and back to square one. The withdrawal is so so painful and even when it's over... it's never over.
@lubtearts8985
2 жыл бұрын
Depersonalization is a scary feeling. That’s what she’s referring to when she says nothing around her feels real. It’s a symptom of anxiety and she lives in a chronic state of anxiety due to her stress.
@lubtearts8985
2 жыл бұрын
Derealization* my mistake however DP/DR go hand in hand and you can’t have one without the other
@tracyzlaber
2 жыл бұрын
This interview made me cry. I made my donation to SWU gofundme. I'm glad you have that listed in the description.
@arkine11
2 жыл бұрын
So many of these videos are so hard to watch, and yet so very important to humanize people in these situations. Mark is doing important work.
@Superfandangoo
2 жыл бұрын
I feel myself drawn to help Crystal, such a shame I'm in London. I have taken on a few problem youngsters in the building industry and they are doing well now. They treat me as a dad they've not had over the years gone by. I hope one of you guys can help Crystal as I'm certain she will love you and your family for it. Bless you Crystal. Your worth much more than you feel, you are a beautiful person
@shaynej704
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing these videos Mark. Crystal sounds smart. She was just too close to drugs her whole life. I am speechless when I hear her talk. She is very with it. I pray for a safer and more loving life for her. She has replayed almost all the same mistakes as her Mother did. I pray for support and education.
@injusticeanywherethreatens4810
2 жыл бұрын
Damn. Have heard this same sad story 100 times. Tip to anyone who is poor: *PLEASE DON'T HAVE KIDS!* In this economy you won't have the time or the dime to raise them properly. Its a sad truth. I'm very sorry Crystal is going through this hell. Hope that she finds a way to turn it around.
@injusticeanywherethreatens4810
2 жыл бұрын
@ilkldme Yup . To any sexually active struggling couples out there your finances will NOT be resolved by having a child TRUST ME.
@michelleday5045
2 жыл бұрын
I pray she can get clean and start over with her children. So heart breaking.
@LeslieMBates
2 жыл бұрын
Mark! Please start praising your interviewers who received their GED certificates. As a teacher this is a major accomplishment for some! It bothers me that you repeatedly give off the impression that a GED is not an education. These ppl have FOUGHT to finish s nor matter how hard.
@Frogs84
2 жыл бұрын
We think she looks so gone but with love and care she could recover. She’s human and it hurts me that I can’t personally help her
@NamesOfTheHare
2 жыл бұрын
To me, Crystal is so clearly intelligent and insightful, I have so much respect for her and appreciation for her sharing her story. I wish you strength on the recovery road Crystal, you are worth it.
@kellyhall4292
Жыл бұрын
as an ex addict, my heart hurts for her. the paradox of addiction is so gnarly. Prayers for her recovery someday
@crystalswaringen7047
2 жыл бұрын
Crystal if you are checking these messages I want you to know you matter girl! And I think you have a gift for seeing the truth I pray that you can kick this and maybe one day help others. I wish you nothing but love and happiness. I promise you your kids miss you no matter how old they are or how bad you screwed up. You should call them they will support you more than you can imagine. Good luck sweetie 👍👍🙏🙏❤️❤️
@ccmcgee9062
2 жыл бұрын
This is just so sad. How sad to have had a great life and think you had nothing... only to look back and realize you had everything.
@sarahkeller7630
2 жыл бұрын
When I watch these stories it seems like alot of the times these people that end up on drugs... Do the same things that were done to them. I was raised in a very messed up environment It scares me to think there might be a switch that no matter how hard we try No matter if we stay away from drugs, work decent jobs and don't beat our kids The things our parents did to us will always show up in some parts of who we become
@iced.autumn
2 жыл бұрын
This is so true. I have this same thought and fear. It is reassuring in a way to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I guess all we can do is just try our absolute best at raising our children as healthy and lovingly as we can.
@sarahkeller7630
2 жыл бұрын
@@iced.autumn breaking the cycle is very powerful
@juju.bean3435
2 жыл бұрын
That's why the Bible says that children suffer the sins of their fathers. Generational curses need to be broken and they start with us.
@aremnant3937
2 жыл бұрын
@@juju.bean3435 amen
@TMichelle555
2 жыл бұрын
I'm a recovery addict and i find myself thinking, what's the point in doing these drugs with tranq(benzos) or fent when you get knocked out asleep wake up sick... so you don't get high? What's the point? Sheesh
@trip2belize
2 жыл бұрын
after a while you need them, that's the trap
@emm2937
2 жыл бұрын
If you’re a recovering addict, this shouldn’t be a question for you.
@wesleyalan9179
2 жыл бұрын
@@emm2937 ....haha,that's what I was gonna say😄
@wesleyalan9179
2 жыл бұрын
The high doesn't necessarily have to be wakefulness and euphoric, it can also be to knock you out(some people like that) they're so sick of life and it knocks them out so they don't have feel anything. They get addicted to that, become reliant on it. I hope that made some sense 🙏
@richardcranium5329
2 жыл бұрын
Sometimes life is fucked and the only thing you wanna do is sleep...
@kateglastic9826
2 жыл бұрын
I don't think I have ever heard addiction described so accurately.
@TheCorrinne66
2 жыл бұрын
Bless this woman the most genuine honest human ive seen on your channel. So accurate in her description of a drug addict. A great interview mark. Hope she is ok gets out 🙏🏻
@angelikamariadipasquali7149
2 жыл бұрын
Crystal, you are young still. Get up and walk and don't forget to forgive yourself. You are strong, do it for a better life, please
@lynnehuff9659
2 жыл бұрын
She's forty.
@angelikamariadipasquali7149
2 жыл бұрын
@@lynnehuff9659 so what? I am sixty and still able to work on my self.
@nicolebabb8283
Жыл бұрын
This one hit me hard. This girl and I had literally the exact same childhood. And we are the same age. So weird that she describes it the exact same way as I do. I feel for her. I hopes she finds a way out. And I hope she finds peace within her self. It's not too late!
@CrackberryMe
2 жыл бұрын
I feel sad for Crystal..She looks like She can't even believe that she's there in Kensington... I hope she can find the inner courage to get clean
@SippinOnSumSweetTeaa
Жыл бұрын
I think what I get the most out of these videos is the realization that this could have easily been me at the slightest wrong decision and it gives me so much gratitude of the life I do have.
@batcird
2 жыл бұрын
i want to give her a big hug, she has so much strength and self awareness
@TaraLeigh_in_Canada
2 жыл бұрын
I Looove her sweet, genuine smile at the end, when Mark thanks Crystal❣️😘💗🙏 She made me smile! Mark, your love light shining on these important stories of humanity continues to shine a light of hope for so many who have lost theirs. I pray blessings of recovery for Crystal... She deserves so much better than this life cycle! I love her honesty and genuiness. With Love and prayers to Crystal, tara 🇨🇦
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