Thank you everyone. I’m sorry for the things I messed up in this process, but to hear you guys saying things maybe you wanted to say but couldn’t because folks might bully you (which did happen) is very helpful for me right now. No fighting in the comments. It’s not healthy. For those of you who stuck around, I can’t express my gratitude (truly, I am crying as I write this), and for those of you coming back, thank you for hearing me out. I appreciate your openness. ❤ Now that that’s done I will not stop yelling or being dark: you’ve been warned. Dad rants for life.
@manonjansink2600
11 ай бұрын
Please, never stop ranting! You're amazing ❤
@Jfunk13
11 ай бұрын
I trusted you from jump and understanding how comedy works I presumed it was like this - but I will say that Alayna and Mak standing by you solidified my decision to do the same. The three of you together are a great combo and I’m glad you’re able to voice your side finally. I’m sorry people went so far to hurt you and Jen - main babe!! Thanks for always opening up. Can’t wait til you’re in Richmond again.
@hellobell123
11 ай бұрын
Shortly after those tik toks came out I deleted tik tok and for some reason knew that something wasn’t right and that you wouldn’t have said things in that way… just seemed out of character the way the clip was put together Just wanted to say I and many others support you
@kerizella
11 ай бұрын
I hope your point about the audio clip and media literacy will make some people reflect upon what they thought was a true reflection of what happened, but more generally upon this sad reality living in - there are some folks out there who deform reality on purpose. Your community sends you love!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@JanneBernards
11 ай бұрын
@@hellobell123I also ended up deleting Tiktok a day after the video. I used to think YT was a toxic nest, but Tiktok is so much worse.
@scottclark1219
11 ай бұрын
Positivity in the Bleep Bloops! Ashley, I think your candour and your self- reflection in describing this really difficult event demonstrates the intention in your practice. I'm so proud to be a fan of yours. Also it was lovely to see Mak and Alayna in protector mode. This is why this is the family we choose.
@mxrored
11 ай бұрын
This was such an excellent example of accountability and vulnerability but also clarifying. I think sometimes on the internet we have gotten used to and expect quick explanations of issues or cancellations. But, they never have the depth, thought, and context they need. I have heard the audio, I knew something had happened but didn't want to go searching for it cause I guessed that something wouldn't be true or right. This video is why I love watching you 3.
@arianavail
11 ай бұрын
I just KNEW there was more to this situation than what was released. I saw Ashley live a few months before the incident and everyone - including the hecklers - at the Dallas show had a great time! Happy to finally hear the full explanation and I’m glad it’s for the real fans and not the initial crazed media and drama. Love you Ashley!!
@4lovebysara
11 ай бұрын
I knew there was more, too! What was leaked & shared just didn't feel like it was true to Ashley! I saw her in Sac after the incident & we had a BLAST! I was sad to see so many people writing her off initially before she shared her side. There are 3 sides to every story, typically! So happy to get a better picture, finally. ❤
@juliak.9390
10 ай бұрын
Yes, we do ❤
@amymurch
4 ай бұрын
🤣 Y’all’re wild.
@Rising_Pho3nix_23
11 ай бұрын
When Ashley stared crying I wanted to give her the biggest hug! Keep being you Ashley you're awesome!
@lc360
11 ай бұрын
As soon as i saw a larger commentary channel pick up this story, i became really worried. I hate that it's just commonplace now for entire communities to dogpile literally anybody. I hope the support and love cuts through all the garbage for you guys.
@lineanhj1880
11 ай бұрын
Which commentary channel picked it up? I'm just wondering
@graceblondell7320
11 ай бұрын
@@lineanhj1880like all of them
@beestings22
11 ай бұрын
@@lineanhj1880nick green
@ESPHMacD
11 ай бұрын
A couple, I know greenisnotnick has spoke about this.
@rtd1791
11 ай бұрын
I saw a video title with a guy in the thumbnail that I thought might be about Ashley’s unfortunate gig. But I didn’t watch it. I don’t particularly like reaction videos, and on the odd occasions I do watch one, it’s only because I’ve seen the material they are reacting to in its entirety and I respect the commentator. But then again I’ve always been the sort of person who likes to see a movie first and then read critics’ take. Or read reviews of restaurants I already patronize. Consuming anything based on another person’s opinion is too stressful to me. Unless it’s someone close to me that I have great affection for and who will not be angry if I fall asleep in the middle of the performance. Which has happened more times than I care to remember. Friends no longer invite me to concerts. My husband gave up taking me to see his favorite bands long ago. I guess I have a vague understanding that there are KZitem channels that are primarily commentary on other people’s work. Maybe. Can’t name any. But for the most part that feels like a lesser light distributing their opinion on something they aren’t actually capable of doing. Makes me uncomfortable.
@adrasteia7092
11 ай бұрын
Nick from the channel Greenisnotnick owes Ashley an apology for the chaos he caused by making his video about the situation. He did not need to make a video about it and if he wanted to, he could have reached out to Ashley personally to ask about the situation. These commentator youtubers need to take more responsibility for the content they put out because in a lot of cases they instigate harassment.
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
I'm really stuck on him saying I have no material and all I do is gay material when I have a publicly available special that he could've watched, and it addresses that exact claim. Hell of a journalist.
@CookieFlavored4
11 ай бұрын
no seriously, when i heard about this whole situation I was thinking about how it must be blown out of proportion. Greenisnotnick is someone I’ve watched in the past, so when it showed in my feed, I watched it. His video legitimately gave me a moment of confusion in what I could trust from Ashley, and now having seen the context, i’m sad that I had that moment of confusion. I still watched the pod hoping for some clarity and I’m so glad it happened, but so many other people like me could’ve seen his video and just give up on her character. I’m hoping he sees this video and learns the truth.
@adrasteia7092
11 ай бұрын
@@ashgavs That really upset me too. It felt like he hadn't even bothered to watch through most of your stuff and only glanced at some clips. I'm sorry for everything you've been going through since this happened. You've always been such a genuine person and most of your fans here knew there was more context behind what happened. I hope things quiet down and you can keep doing what your doing without all this drama!
@frimchi
5 ай бұрын
He's not a very credible source anyway. Bunch of fluff
@kbwolfe9491
11 ай бұрын
Ashley's fear for her audience is absolutely valid, especially in a world where shootings like the Orlando nightclub happen. For a lot of people these moments of "drama" are a chance to attack and virtue signal without thought of what the actual repercussions can be. People are so quick to jump on people now and there are always those who will take it that extra step too far and put people in actual danger.
@DapperMrAlex
11 ай бұрын
Absolutely! That's why it blows my mind that someone could think she was being sincere with her comedy. Like, being able to make jokes about deep and valid fears can be so healing and build a more empathetic community.
@juliak.9390
10 ай бұрын
@@DapperMrAlex especially when explained beforehand…
@guesssmith3419
9 ай бұрын
She told a fan to off herself. Thats not taking care of fan. She's sick...
@kbwolfe9491
9 ай бұрын
@@guesssmith3419 maybe watch the episode and figure out what actually happened
@RileyRayH
11 ай бұрын
Not me crying at work watching this. I'm with Alayna. We love you, Ashley. And we're not going anywhere. ❤
@katerinahricko1127
11 ай бұрын
same 😃❤
@Domisdom
11 ай бұрын
NOT GOING ANYWHERE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
@mwernli2886
11 ай бұрын
I agree with you.
@AudsLecker
10 ай бұрын
I cried too, what really got me was the love and support between these three. it was beautiful
@jillianh1856
10 ай бұрын
same ❤
@evelynnsometimes2
11 ай бұрын
"comedy is a contact sport" perfect way to put it. dont offer emotional vulnerability to a comedian in a heckle. it will never go well. a comedian is not your therapist, ESPECIALLY in the middle of a show. keep on keeping on, ashley. you're a great comedian and i cant wait to see you live one day.
@LamAnopro_
11 ай бұрын
Yeah
@arthoeinc.3469
11 ай бұрын
Seriously that is such a good point. Like if you are actively heckling a comedian (or hell, just participating in a normal crowdwork interaction with a comedian) you have to know that any information you offer can and will be turned into material. If there are things about you're not comfortable getting that treatment, then simply DON'T FREELY OFFER THAT INFORMATION TO A COMEDIAN AT A LIVE COMEDY SHOW. Should go without saying for literally anyone with basic social awareness. Like sheesh. I'm with Mac like this situation just pisses me off that some people feel that Ashley needs to be extensively dragged over this. It was an unfortunate situation that everyone needs to just move on from.
@cariiinen
11 ай бұрын
Yes!
@em2516
10 ай бұрын
Absolutely! You know what you’re in for
@lorenharris6493
10 ай бұрын
Literally came here to say this comment! 👏👏👏 why would anyone say something so personal and traumatic to a comedian at a live show and expect them to know it’s serious and not to be joked about? Your at a comedy show full of strangers who don’t know you or your sense of humour 🤔🙌
@erinokay9991
11 ай бұрын
I am so glad explained what a heckle is like this. I struggled so hard to explain this to my friend after a comedians set at an open mic and failed so hard. I was like, I know it’s confusing but when a comedian includes an audience member the audience member is the prop, not the performer. I went to one of your shows before you started doing this “explaining what a heckling is, no yassing, etc” and I made the connection that the audience didn’t get what you meant when you said be lively. I was cringing as I sat at a table with someone who was drawing attention themselves and they clearly didn’t understand-she clearly interpreted your crowd work as encouragement to continue rather than a sign to chill out. I’m hoping this helps clear things up.
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
“Prop not a performer” is an incredible way to capture the dynamic
@laurenlewis2949
11 ай бұрын
2 and 2 didn’t add up when the cancellation started. And after listening to Ashley speak for probably hundreds of hours at this point, I’d like to think I have a pretty good idea of Ashley’s values. I knew her intent couldn’t have been interpreted correctly. Thanks for waiting an appropriate amount of time to protect everyone involved including your fans and being so vulnerable. We love you!!!
@kerizella
11 ай бұрын
What really pissed me of about this situation was, strangely, the reaction of fans of the podcast. I remember watching an ep of the podcast that was just released after this situation, and the only comments at that point were "Ashley talk about this or I'm unsubcribing", "you're deleting comments you should be ashamed": I was utterly SHOCKED by the tone supposed fans of the pod had. Not that you cannot/shouldn't be critical, but that in any case, there are ways to talk to people and address situations? Why are some people so easily pointing fingers at bullies on the internet and so easily becoming them? And it sucks because I feel like it's especially the case in LGBTQ+ communities. Hold people accountable. Remember, however, that they are people, with feelings, emotions, people they care about. Don't be the bully you always were afraid of. Spread love and understanding. [Also, isn't it weird that some people in the comment section are like "thank you I can make peace with it / turn the page now:)" like ???? None of this was ever about you????????] Thank you for sharing your side of the story and for bringing a new perspective to this. I hope you'll feel better soon. It sucks to be hurt.
@Jfunk13
11 ай бұрын
The crossing the para social boundary of demanding closure from something that literally has nothing to do with them is absolutely odd. Thanks for calling it out.
@jay1603
11 ай бұрын
I agree, it was so insane to see everyone get so furious so easily, and I find we in the lgbtq community are honestly some of the worst at weaponizing cancel culture
@JennyTuhls
11 ай бұрын
People really feel entitled to everything
@zyxxyzify
11 ай бұрын
Omg I remember the exact episode you are talking about… there were handful of people who had faith in Ashley and understood that once you are hackling you become the part of the performance. But saying this also opened up people attacking people who supported Ashley… I remember the snarky comments… it was so awful. Very scary that people can turn on you just like that… felt like some of those people didn’t even try but jumped to conclusions and believed what they saw online with little to no critical thinking skills at sight.
@altertopias
11 ай бұрын
You might like Kai Cheng Tom's work on this. Or Clementine Morrigan's. I love the title of one of her zines: Fuck the cops means we don't act like cops to each other. To be fair to ppl, reimagining justice is hard. But we can do hard things.
@madi32
11 ай бұрын
I watched the tape, thought that's not the Ashley I knew and that was that. The fact that the tape had the impact it had is so terrifying and I'm so sorry for what Ashley had to go through. Cancel culture is so stupid. It's always more nuanced than we know.
@sophie-xo9si
11 ай бұрын
I feel like if Ashley was a man this wouldn’t have been this big a deal to everyone :/
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
Yes. I think we covered that there are clips of men doing exactly this online and no one seems to care. It is well documented that cancel culture really only works against women and minorities. I hope this research continues and that our communities hear about it and stop doing it.
@Haha_Neat
11 ай бұрын
As someone who was at that show, seeing how it panned out was crazy! Hearing the uncut audio and seeing the comments from people that don’t even know who Ashley is/weren’t there…it was just unbelievable, messy, and blown out of proportion honestly. It felt like the common heckler interaction I’ve seen many comedians have, and we were also surprised when the woman left because the moment didn’t feel uncomfortable AT ALL until that. It’s sad how many people were hurt by this situation, but Ashley you did what you could. As someone else commented this is a great example of both accountability and vulnerability, but also clarifying. I’m hoping bringing this to the pod was healing for you in someway❤️
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
Thank you for putting this out there ❤
@awaholswilder9271
10 ай бұрын
i didn’t have to be there, yelling at someone to try again killing themselves is fucked up
@juliak.9390
10 ай бұрын
@@awaholswilder9271 don’t feed the ape, don’t you do it no! no, maybe a little cookie, maybe ? just a very small crumb? prettyplease? ok, go on.😊awaholswilder9271, that’s the part she acknowledged and agrees it should not have happened and that she truly is sorry. Anything else? 🎉
@duchkal2
10 ай бұрын
@@awaholswilder9271yes, you DO have to be there. That’s the issue. Society needs to stop reacting to issues that you don’t have the entire story about. On both sides of the common sense brick wall.
@JanneBernards
10 ай бұрын
@@awaholswilder9271 I just cannot wrap around how you pea-brains do not understand the concept of "context". It's just so f'ing frustrating. How do you even exist in the world like this?
@petronellataube2986
10 ай бұрын
I'm glad that Ash never made a knee-jerk "i am sorry you are angry" apology video and more or less waited until now. It does not make sense to throw out some "nice words" until Ash herself has thought everything through. Like Ash might have been right or wrong, but I prefer Ash communicating with clear intent.
@victorias.bremmenkamp509
11 ай бұрын
I never comment on anything but I just want to say that your true audience knows you Ashley and we knew there was more to it than that edited clip. Seeing Ash in tears was absolutely heartbreaking and her fear was so understandable and valid. Sending Ashley much love, hope to be able to see you live soon ❤
@allisonmilbrath8668
11 ай бұрын
I LOVED this. Also having your friend tell you you’ve been a bitch and they understand why AND they don’t care and love you? Weve all been there and it’s the best - people can’t be perfect, no one expects us to be except ourselves
@k1ttyluvr666
11 ай бұрын
I remember hearing the audio of the show and feeling super uncomfortable about it as a fan of the podcast without having heard much of ashley’s comedy show before. However, i had trust that if what ashley had done was terrible, alayna and mak wouldn’t stick by ashley and seeing them stay by ashley’s side made me realise that something must have been taken out of context because i trusted their judgment of ashley’s character. So proud of you Ashley you communicated everything so well. So happy to have this explanation. I’m sorry that you had to go through that experience.
@miraaa19
11 ай бұрын
I had the exact same reation. I was taken aback first but it seemed obvious that there was a lot of context missing and that there must have been some kind of misunderstanding/miscommunication. And seeing Ashley sincerely own up to mistakes in the past and caring so much about her audience, I had trust that this hadn't been her intention. Being perceived in a way you didn't intend to and then not being able to fully explain yourself is a really hard thing. Not to mention all the horrible stuff that followed. That's something nobody should go through and I'm glad that Ashley has support from people in her personal life and from a big part of her audience ❤
@JanneBernards
11 ай бұрын
Yea, seriously. I went on a whole rant in my own comment about "fans" negating all of Ashley's past showings of her kindness with this one negative interaction, but your point also is such a big aspect of it. Do you really think Mak or Alayna or MADDIE!? would just be okay with it if Ashley was secretly a horrible bully who just wishes people dead? What? Are they all faking their whole personalities as soon as the camera turns on? What are you even thinking here?
@Mimjay
11 ай бұрын
So true ❤
@juliak.9390
10 ай бұрын
@@Florilegium1I wonder: if the crowd had stopped her from being so offensive as a heckler, instead of Ashley interacting with her, how would she have behaved?Would she be complaining about Ashley’s fans now on the internet?
@oppmlc
9 ай бұрын
Yeah, no. I heard the video clip, you were overly aggressive AG. Good luck with everything.
@Lady-Y
7 ай бұрын
They literally have proven the audio wasn't real, what more do you want?
@jessicasellers3788
11 ай бұрын
In all honesty, I remember watching this unfold in person and even I was confused as to what was happening. The audience member started this whole thing and if I was in Ashley’s shoes I also wouldn’t know how to respond.
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
Thanks for commenting this
@gofortori
11 ай бұрын
It’s an inappropriate way for an audience member to behave at a live performance. It interrupts the show and puts the performer in a tough spot. And even as a comedy newbie, I attended the Friday Indianapolis show being fully prepared to be roasted/interacted with and I wasn’t seeking it out. Don’t really know what this woman was expecting to happen by interrupting the show with unsolicited personal information, when a trigger warning was essentially given at the beginning about the material.
@nailinthefashion
11 ай бұрын
Someone: I have attempted :\ Me: oh but if you succeeded you couldn't come see me live :\ And then move on since Ash knows where's she's coming from, she knows her humor is crass, it's not for everyone, it can be irritating or even insufferable. I can think of half a dozen other responses that aren't as rude, why couldn't a literal professional? I hope Ash gets over the nuggets of entitlement and pompousness that make her feel like arguing so hard, that make her see it mostly as cathartic or pain release. Just cuz she does, doesn't mean everyone in her audience does and it's ghoulish to force it on someone in person. A video can be skipped or stopped at least.
@missbeaussie
10 ай бұрын
I mean me neither but telling them to kts probably wouldn't be it.
@connormarsh6286
10 ай бұрын
@nailinthefashion I feel like it's different though because they have a warning at the beginning of the show. If you aren't able to take those kinds of jokes then you can always leave and request a refund. I also think that maybe the person wasn't bothered by it as they claim to be since they went out of their way to heckle everyone with their own personal trauma
@Sky-Lark
11 ай бұрын
As someone who was very upset by the situation, I am so relieved to know what actually happened. I was really holding out for this video before I made my decision because your podcasts have been such a safe, healing, and learning space. This situation was so at odds with everything I knew about you so I am glad to know that you are still who I thought you were ❤
@nataliehubbard6568
10 ай бұрын
I’m right there with u. The cut up audio and also the TAKES from other commentary really had me feeling near a hypocrite if I excused it, just because it didn’t seem malicious in intent to me. I just haven’t been watching, waiting for this kind of moment to come. Now I can’t wait to keep listening to the pods feeling safe and secure in supporting. (I can’t believe ppl were commenting assaults)
@theembersinside1420
11 ай бұрын
I really appreciate this heartfelt convo. Ashley didn't deserve the reaction she got. This all comes down to intention. The take-away from this is that we should never make immediate judgments. Especially about things we didn't see w our own eyes. I really liked getting to see the support given by Mak & Alayna too. I think ppl can learn something from how these friends/family interact. 💜☮️
@MELLMAO
11 ай бұрын
The amount of ENTITLEMENT from so many audience members today in comedy shows is disturbing. That is literal trauma dumping at comedy show, where people come to relax and have a laugh. And you're putting a comedian in an extremely difficult and ungrateful position. As someone who has chronic pain issues like Ashley and battles with sui**** thoughts frequently, I truly don't think I would've reacted any differently than her. That audience member either maliciously and intentionally provoked her to make her look horrible OR she is going through a legit mental health crisis and taking people down with her. What she did to Ashley is vile
@JanneBernards
11 ай бұрын
This whole situation has made me way more angry than I have ever been about any sort of online drama. And I've been around in these here digital spaces for longer than a lot of the people who cancelled Ashley have been alive. It's the injustice of it. The part that I cannot get past is how all these supposed super empathic and social justice warrior queers see the literal hundreds of hours of footage and audio online of Ashley interacting with all sorts of people and being kind and empathic and then put that next to one out of context account of an interaction gone bad and decided that all that came before means nothing. Burn the witch! Let's even assume that it wasn't taken out of context. Say Ashley really did just have a terrible day or whatever and just had a complete breakdown on stage at the expense of a "fan" over a minor infraction. It doesn't actually change anything about the overall situation. Because is that how you would treat anyone you know, a friend? One screw up and it's over? Nothing about who they are, nothing what they did before or after matters ever again? It is that how you would treat yourself? You've never put your foot in your mouth? Misread an interaction and made a total mess of it? Where just in a foul mood and unloaded on someone who didn't deserve it? You've never hurt anyone's feelings without meaning too? If you've said yes, to any of these you'd better go cancel yourself. If you said no to all of them, you're a liar and should do some introspection.
@fishbiter9409
8 ай бұрын
Some people just have no idea what we're up against and they think these minor transgressions are the thing threatening queer folk's existence. Never underestimate the power of ignorant people of privilege.
@jackiesobel9317
10 ай бұрын
Ok so.. Who recorded, edited and released the audio that misrepresented what actually happened during the show? Was it the audience member that was humiliated? Or was it another audience member? That's slander! That person should be held accountable. It disgusts me that someone knew they were generating a false representation of the events in order to generate a reaction.. all at the expense of Ashley's career and safety! Disgusting. I'm so sorry this happened to you Ashley..
@JakeArsenault
11 ай бұрын
As someone who doesn’t have tiktok, I was aware something happened based on the comments. But I also understood someone can make a mistake, and be a good person. Belly laughing and snorting at dark humour is therapy to me, but understandably it’s not for everyone. I hope they can find a place where they get that ‘therapeutic’ experience, cause this world is dark, and we all deserve to find a place to laugh.
@explosean9
11 ай бұрын
Haven't watched yet, but was glad to see it in my notifications. And happy to see all the support in the comments. I had a short conversation with Ashley on Discord when she asked for feedback about addressing it further, and know it was causing a lot of stress and strife. It still absolutely blows my mind how so many people had these angry responses (and death threats and other extreme reactions) in the name of mental health awareness, yet had no regard for Ashley's mental health. Like, tell me you don't actually care about mental health awareness without telling me, lol.
@kerizella
11 ай бұрын
Yes!!!! Thank you my goodness!!!! Also people basically bullying her calling her.... a bully? How can you not see the paradox!
@JanneBernards
11 ай бұрын
@@kerizella "It's not harassment, I just made one comment". - literal quote from someone on Tik tok in response to me calling her out when this first went down. Yes, you and 500 others who hopped on the train.
@_asantesana_squashbanana_
11 ай бұрын
100%! Similar thing happened to Ellen, cancel culture needs to be cancelled. It's too easy to strike up hate campaigns by bigots under the guise of 'social justice' (see also, mob/witchhunt) against minorities. Women and the LGBT+ community, and BIPOC are extremely vulnerable this brand of toxic, empty-headed cancel culture. Edit - I know because I work in cyber security, and basically have an awareness about particular ringleaders behind these hate campaigns... it's almost always outsiders, worst kind of bigots, get it taken up by the mainstream and deliberately spread in minority communities where it's integral to band together closely for survival and sense of security. It's a quiet disease. Cure is finding the context, and seeking truth.
@athorsemanship
10 ай бұрын
And, can we talk about Alayna’s motherly wisdom? 😊 Her viewpoints are excellent and so helpful.
@fambi1271
11 ай бұрын
I went to Ashley's show and bumped into her on the way to the bathroom and she was so sweet and kind, I cannot imagine anyone seeing her and thinking she deserves anything negative. It's truly heartbreaking.
@aliciadeit13
11 ай бұрын
The explanation of this situation was handled with so much poise and care. Watching every episode of WHGS, and knowing all the considerate conversations that have been had regarding mental health, I knew that the spliced audio could not have been an accurate representation of what happened. We do the best with the information we have. Sending love Ashley ❤
@regina.gevorkyan
11 ай бұрын
when i saw the clip, i immediately went like COME ON, did the world not learn from Taylor Swift? when the Kim/Kanye’s clip came out, i could not understand why everyone was falling for it because it was clear that the video was edited. same here - it was edited, there were clear cuts and NO context. i just can’t believe how gullible people are sometimes. ain’t no way i would ever believe a cut clip, give me the whole video, even if it’s 5 hours long. PLUS, if you know Ashley like her core audience knows her you would never believe she’d say something like that out of context or satire. AND EVEN IF SHE DID, however terrible and harmful it would be, everyone’s allowed to make mistakes. you may not stand by that but still love and respect the person responsible. and then to go on and send literal death threats and say she should off herself???? seriously??? how are they different from the person they THINK Ashley is??? although the difference is, she’s not, but they clearly are. people are looking to dig up dirt on celebrities and cancel people left and right. especially comedians. Ashley, sending you all the love I have. you’re a beautiful giving soul, here to provide us with a safe space to be queer and explore our queerness. thank you so much for everything you do. you helped me in ways i could never express! 🩷🤍🧡 and to Mak and Alayna, you are such good friends! 💚🌸 all the love 💛🩵🩷
@mrambish
11 ай бұрын
Ashley, I DM'ed you after Sunday Sqool a few nights ago, where you shared this story with us. I think you're being way too hard on yourself. The intent of this girl is in question. I know you don't want blowback on her, and I would not want that, either. However, there was an agenda for putting out this clip with no context knowing the level of what you called media literacy people have today. As I said in the DM, people do not extend grace as readily as they used to. But that doesn't mean that you can't extend yourself grace. Think about what was happening with you at the time. I know what freezing your eggs entails and your hormones were all over the place. You were disappointed with the outcome of your special. You are constantly in pain. C'mon what else can you do? You have done what you needed to do to protect your family and friends and the audience. I understand the repercussions that you're concerned about, but time heals and no violence has happened. You will build back. You are too funny, smart, and kind to not have your dream. Listen to Alayna and Mak. Keep going and move beyond this. You have important things to accomplish.
@revaew1379
9 ай бұрын
People who want to act like context doesn't matter here aren't genuine actors, they're the outrage police. And just because content matters doesn't mean that Ashley didn't mess up. I'm not sure what would make people happy because apologizing, offering a refund, offering to talk after the show, months of attacks on the internet, the doxxing and threats of violence toward Ashley and her partner etc etc hasn't been enough. Ashley, Im glad you made it home through and I'm glad you said your piece and Alayna and Mak, thank you for givng her the space to speak.
@karisfunkartist
11 ай бұрын
I think anyone who follows Ashley in any context and paid attention could absolutely see the shift in Ashley since this happened. If there had been any malicious intent, this shift would not have happened. It's been so obvious that it affected (and still affects her) and that she was/is doing the work to rectify the situation and figure out how it happened in the first place. It's so easy for people to not take responsibility for their own actions. Ashley did. Keep doing what you're doing - as a long time pod listener, I see your pain, I see your growth, I see how much you care about your audience, and I support you. I'm also glad that you have such an amazing group of supportive friends, like Mak and Alayna. (Sidebar - Alayna's part in the conversation, especially the second half is further proof that she is absolutely in the field that she's meant to be in, and will make an excellent therapist/psychologist!)
@KimsiePimsie
10 ай бұрын
Heyy i actually don't think i noticed the shift, but i would love to be able to see it, could you tell me some more about it?
@emmyisurmom
11 ай бұрын
as a usually silent watcher/listener, I wanted to add to the positivity I see here already and just say that I love all of you and your content and Ashley I hope I get to see you the next time you come to STL ❤ *hugs*
@CH-mr9hz
9 ай бұрын
She claims that she was worried about her audience and people hurting fans. Yet, she made a joke about shooting up her own audience in Missouri and told a fan to kill herself. There’s a fine line between sarcasm and seriousness. Pick better content. This is just excuses.
@alpha2legs
11 ай бұрын
Ultimately the things that arose from this, as bad as they were, show that Ashley’s comedy attracts people who care about each other. That’s the takeaway. I have appreciated the way that Ashley has handled this the whole way through, and, as a survivor myself, I can appreciate how hurt some people were by this. It was a shitty blip in time caused by a two-way misunderstanding. I’m glad that this community exists where we can talk about shitty misunderstandings, hold each other up, and move on. Much love to everyone ❤
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
This is a really thoughtful comment. ❤
@alpha2legs
11 ай бұрын
@@ashgavs bleep bloop and all that 😉
@KimsiePimsie
10 ай бұрын
Hey i was just curious if you or someone else could give me some more info on how ashley handled the whole situation, is that the tiktok video and all that what was discussed in this video or was there more? please don't feel a need to answer if you don't want to, i'm just curious if i maybe missed something or if i now know everything, but i can totally understand if you don't want to answer my question. I hope you have a nice day:)
@summerhansen4264
11 ай бұрын
Love you guys❤ I think this was communicated very well. I had heard multiple recordings right after this happened and knew there had to have been more context to the situation. I am with Alayna 100% I want everybody to love each other all the time!
@watersk2013
11 ай бұрын
As someone who was at the later show in Indy, I saw the girl sobbing on the sidewalk and was confused. Then during our show I was shocked when it first started because it was my first comedy show. But I got comfy, and Ashley even used me for a couple bits which was exciting! So when I saw the craziness unfolding on the internet I was confused because I saw the same show and didn’t see how the whole thing was blowing up. Very glad to hear this whole perspective tbh. Sorry you had to go through all that Ashley. Sending good vibes ❤
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
You were so fun to riff with. I remember you! I'm glad you ended up having a good time.
@missbeaussie
10 ай бұрын
Did you ask the sobbing woman if she was okay?
@watersk2013
10 ай бұрын
@@missbeaussieconsidering she was outside being consoled by her friend and I was inside in line to be seated for my show, I did not.
@JukaLeep
11 ай бұрын
I just want to say I’ve always had faith in Ashley, and I don’t usually comment, but this feels necessary. I didn’t know about the situation until someone who was close to me told me about it, as they knew I loved the pod, and they know I love Ashley and wanted to know my opinion on it. So I watched it and instantly was like yeah no this isn’t what it appears to be. I defended Ashley bc of the pod, I knew that you wouldn’t have made that intention and that it was a bit and honestly if I could go, I would love to see one of your shows. It’s genuinely so funny to watch ur comedy online and to see your special (I tried to stay up to watch it due to time zones but ended up sleeping half way thru, Sry my guy). When Ashley started crying, I cried too, because seriously you didn’t deserve what had happened- all of that was SO fucked up. If I could support patreon for all of you I would, because seriously you make my week, every time. I hope y’all are ok and Ashley can have some peace on the Internet now 🩵🩵 take care to all of the chosen fam, love yall
@jtrex2249
10 ай бұрын
It just seems so...shitty to heckle and heckle and heckle and then get mad when they got a justifiably annoyed reaction. When you DID go to apologize and offer to meet up or apologize, they declined and blow this up in your face. Being publicly shitty to someone, then being publicly shitty in public again is ridiculous. I get people not knowing how comedy works, but...Idk. I take things at face value and when people come.off as manipulative or two faced I just lose any care. That may be harsh but...what the fuck? And then all these threats and hate you get is SO out of proportion. This person put you in a shitty situation and then nuked it online. You did the best you could. I'm sorry this happened. ❤
@EmOvenMuffin
11 ай бұрын
Honestly never had so much fun fighting in tt comments and getting blocked for telling ppl they don’t understand what a bit is
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
HAHA
@scubagoldfish45
11 ай бұрын
*consensual group hug* This was a really good episode for me. I'm really glad you got to tell the whole story. Also it was a good reminder for me to think critically about things I see online and how they might not be telling the whole story. Also good food for thought as to how I think about certain jokes and the importance of reading between the lines to hear what's really being said.
@KatiCleo
10 ай бұрын
Ashley thank you for discussing this in so much detail. It was rough to see how much damage this situation did. I'm glad to see how much everyone in your life was supportive of you and helped you get through this!
@RebeccaMurphy-j3y
10 ай бұрын
I really enjoyed Mak's maturity in this episode, it's really beautiful to see her grow.
@Idkmanjustgowithit
10 ай бұрын
I think joking and telling someone to kill themselves is just poor comedy but I don't think someone making an unfunny joke is means for cancelation. Like yes the situation was not ideal but it was totally blown out of proportion.
@MackenzieNerdyEMT
11 ай бұрын
As someone whos best friend killed hersel, a comedy club is NOT the place id drop that information let alone casually. Its still an open wound and a comedy club is not a therapy session. I'm confused by dropping really deep sensitive information and getting upset if the comedian poked fun at it. If i say some dark shit i am absolutely comfortable enough to banter about it without getting upset. Spartan kicked down the steps by my mom regularly as a child? Totally fine. Tkdr: Id never give a comedian ammo that could hurt me when their job is using ammo for hopefully harmless entertainment. Trauma is fine to give them as ammo as long as yiu are healed enough to banter without getting triggered. Edited for typos, yes i probably still missed some haha.
@ashleighcalvert8937
10 ай бұрын
I had not heard about this but it really sucks this happened. I think you all really covered all the points there was to say. I’m really sorry to those who were hurt and that Ashley was misrepresented because of that. I hope people can see this and hopefully see your perspectives.
@Cc44444
11 ай бұрын
I had a feeling there was more to this and waited for more info before casting judgement. as much as I don't know Ashley personally obviously, it really didn't seem like her and like it was the whole story. I'm glad she had this space to get vulnerable and really explain the whole situation (while still acknowledging her mistakes) with safe people. Didn't expect to start my day with some tears but I felt a lot of compassion for you, Ashley. Big hugs to you, your friends and fam and the team ❤
@kalpic11
11 ай бұрын
I remember watching this video on Nick’s channel and somewhat understanding the outrage, but also knowing Ashley’s good side from this podcast. It outweighs this one interaction. Like Mak said, I have no idea what I would do in this situation. The bad parts of me are much worse than this bad social interaction Ashley had, so frankly I found it more relatable than offensive. And if my social interactions with Karens at work were to be publicized and commentated on and spun in a way that made me not a person, but a devil monster, idk how the fuck I would deal with that. I don’t think Ashley deserved this.
@AammaK
10 ай бұрын
YT just stopped recommending the pod for me for a while and I've been completely outside of what's been going on. I saw Nickisnotgreen make a video on Ashley in the beginning of the summer but sort of assumed it got resolved, I had no doubt about it since I didn't witness any following events until hearing you now. The way he commented her special felt really icky and superficial too, and I didn't care to look into anything further. Accountability just isn't enough for the internet and public responses get really unproportional. And the fact that people still don't understand expecting immediate response from a public person is unreasonable and often just not optional for anybody involved. As someone who's followed along a hefty amount of internet controvercies and been in the virtual audience of both the criticized and the critics, expecting rushed, shallow and unnuanced takes will never make sense to me. For me, if something that comes up about someone I've followed for a decent time, who's made me feel welcome and safe and who I feel like has managed to convay a lot of empathy and sensitivity around topics like mental health, and the thing that comes up about them just doesn't fit that exact overall impact I feel like the person in question has had, I have really hard time just turning around based on that one instance and flipping against them. That's why I greatly doubt a collection of clips as evidence about someone's character, and feel iffy about anyone who expects me to forget everything I've ever seen about the person based on some unfortunate details only. If something feels completely out of character, one should probably suspect there's something essential left out. There are very few things that aro so vile to say or do that all else becomes meaningless. Sometimes there are people who do get a mask off moment that actually ends up saying something about their character, but this simply wasn't the case here. With that, Ashley, you clearly own the fact that the moment hurt someone and ended up causing pain in others once it spread, and that says so much more about you as a person than anything the people speaking against you based on that recording alone would. This wasn't a revelation of your true thoughts or evidence of covered up hypocrisy. That should be evident and it's actually sad people have apparently omitted questioning the full story. This was a full on misunderstanding. Both can be true, as you've discussed here: For one, you can own up to the instance, admit a mistake even if it wasn't fully under your control at the time. And for two, it doesn't need to determine who you are and what you stand for. This simply doesn't take away any of the good I personally have experienced around your content. Doxxers don't deserve sympathy, though. Nobody deserves to live in fear of physical danger. It's vile. I'm truly sorry you've had to endure so much unfiltered bullcrap, you definitely were wronged here too.
@poppetanya
11 ай бұрын
I'm happy that Ashley is able to finally talk about the situation. I was in her show in Sacramento with my partner and she did speak on it a bit then. And got a little emotional towards the end. I MAAAY have been a heckler and yelled "We love you" Because we do! And I'm so sorry that you were doxed and all that scary shit happened no one fucking deserves that shit.
@ashgavs
10 ай бұрын
That’s different. ESP if it’s not persistent.
@ignorance_is_not_bliss
11 ай бұрын
please dont tell strangers about sensitive topics like s**cide and stuff like that. that's very very disrespectful and triggering. ashley might be someone you follow, but shes still a stranger and in a comedy show. please talk to someone you know is in a place to like a friend you trust or family you trust or a therapist. if it's a joke, expect a joke back. i hope everyone involved is okay now.
@melj6055
11 ай бұрын
Yes, plus the commentary on matt riffe was weird, I thought they hated him
@Lady-Y
11 ай бұрын
That's the other thing, like, she mentions in this she's a s**cide survivor... so like, _how is no one mentioning that??_ Or like, how hearing that randomly shouted at her could have been triggering FOR HER, and comedy was a way to defuse/deflect it? Framing this as a non-survivor unironically telling someone to commit s**cide is horrifying levels of misinformation, and it just bothers me.
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
@@melj6055 I only mentioned it because this is a common thing comedians will say, whether or not you agree with that, it is extremely common to use that phrase on stage to a heckler. I mentioned the Matt Rife clip because its the most popular clip with that phrase in it that I know about. Other than Bo Burnham's, which I couldn't find online. I roast Matt Rife a lot, but I don't think he did anything wrong with shutting down that heckler the same way we all often do. And I doubt he gives a trigger warning (which again, I don't think is the responsibility of a comedian, walking into a comedy show is a trigger warning, and you should research the comedian you are watching.)
@RedRobyn00
10 ай бұрын
@@ashgavsI would like to add Bo Burnham has an entire song about offing yourself so..
@kapowjam3462
11 ай бұрын
The media knowledge or lack thereof is crazy. There's plenty of more sophisticated things that I'm sure I don't know about but way back when Kim and Ye released that audio of him and Taylor and the media went crazy with it my entire reaction was "you think you got full unedited audio from THE reality TV star that proves her SO was in the right and there's not a single question?" I was sure there was more to it. And there was. I felt the same with this situation so I never listened to audio or really looked into the situation at all on other platforms. Also personally I have a mentally and physically handicapped sibling. When I was a kid we'd be sitting at church and they would say funny stuff and we'd all laugh - muffled don't interrupt laughter. But my friend sat a few rows behind us and would ask after what we were laughing at. I'd say "oh _sibling_" and before I could get to what was funny some adult from church would hear that and stop to inform me I was a horrible person for laughing at my handicap sibling. It was insane. Happened so many times my friend started asking "what did _sibling_ say that was funny?" It sincerely hurt that these people would just assume I was cruelly laughing at my sibling with no context. I've felt the same with this. Why would I think Ashley wanted to hurt (emotionally) an audience member?
@3lolo377
11 ай бұрын
As a podcast listener (would also obv try to come to the shows if I lived in the US) I kept listening and supporting and waited patiently for the past weeks for this to be explained more clearly before trying to have an opinion ! I guess I feel confused because when you come to an Ashley show, you expect some things. You can’t be surprised if she shouts and insults everyone, it’s bits. You should know not to heckle or suffer the consequences, and you should expect tough subject to be turned into laughs at any opportunity … I understand the mess and the misunderstanding, I think feeling triggered is perfectly normal, but also this is comedy, there is limits and I think the one place where comedian tend to walk the line is when the audience shouts at them and interrupt the text !
@lavenderladybugs
8 ай бұрын
the part that made me the most upset about this situation as a viewer is how quick other commentary based youtubers that i actually really like to watch normally were to say ashley was over and accuse her of other things that were just clearly wrong (i.e. Ashley is ableist??) and it’s obnoxious because the response so clearly would not have been the same if ashley wasn’t a queer woman
@jcwebb264
11 ай бұрын
And this is why media literacy is so important. Editing is getting so, so good, and it's really important to see/hear/learn something and view it crticially. They can make Zeus breakdance, ffs.
@terukoarimori
11 ай бұрын
Mak was so wise on this episode. Guess is the influence of Goddess Greta Gerwing and the Barbie feminist philosophy 😅 with the blonde wig and everything hahahaha
@lizan1993
11 ай бұрын
Super grateful that you can finally elaborate on the situation 🙏 it feels like closure, now we can all move on. I was one of the people complaining about why it was taking so long. I now understand i completely underestimated how awful and dangerous the backlash has been. How naive of me 😮 I feel bad for being impatient now! This episode educated me tons. Thanks for this episode and I hope you are all doing okay!
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
I will also say, sometimes it takes time to make good decisions, even when things aren’t so dramatic.
@cassafrass_9
10 ай бұрын
Listening to both of your pods for a while now, I smelled bs when this whole thing came out. Glad you’re doing better now and keep up the good work!!!
@kruelfoolie
11 ай бұрын
I knew at the end of the day there was gonna be a valid explanation for the out of context audio and im glad it finally has been brought to light 👏🏼
@Jerrytheworm
11 ай бұрын
As a podcast fan who has been to your stand-up show before I was sure that there was some sort of misunderstanding because you're such a big sweetheart
@Denf0
11 ай бұрын
The media literacy & parasocial points cannot be stressed enough, most people do not know enough about how stories like this are produced & distributed and the interpersonal relationships involved that they are nowhere near a part of.
@alexthemole2987
11 ай бұрын
Okay... It took me a coupla days to be in frame of mind to watch this full video (after pausing half a minute in). I am an older fellow who entered this podcast environment after years of watching Alayna and her B.C. friends on KZitem. So: I would never have encountered Ashley or Mak otherwise. As a straigt cis man in my 60's I very much like to hear your discussions and read the commentaries. Enlightening, ¿No? I don't do online anything except for watching a lot [too much -probably] of YT videos. For example, even though elsewhere is "where the magic happens" I don't go there. So I have not felt a need to follow/fall down any rabbit-hole to learn more about Ashley's experience. & now that I've heard this entire conversation/explanation I am furtherly sure of my aversion to social media. I tend to agree with Mak that Ash has gone beyond what she needed to. Not that I'm about to purchase ticket to see Asley perform live --- Ashley said "love the podcasts & hate the comedy." I don't "hate" it; it's just not my style. Thirty years ago I intentionally never watched/listened to Andrew Dice Clay and fifty years ago I didn't understand the appeal of Don Rickels when I'd see him on t.v. with Johnny Carson. To me: Not Funny. I am more interested in knowing who exactly created the thoroughly misleading audiotape, & them being taken to task. This all further cements my reluctance to enter the internet world. But: I like you guys (/gays 😏). The whole thing just makes me more sad. I don't understand why people are so mean. And they can even be worse on the anonymity of the internet!
@mariannetfinches
11 ай бұрын
That sounds so scary. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that right wing circles would jump on it & become dangerous. I honestly thought left wing backlash was intimidating enough to make a person not want to discuss it, & thought there must be an explanation that could doffuse things faster. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think many of us have learned from you talking about this. I am so sorry that happened to you & i hope you're managing to heal from it. Positive beep boops ❤
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
This is, apparently, not uncommon when people cancel queer films.
@mariannetfinches
11 ай бұрын
@@ashgavs that's awful. Now I know. Sorry you ended up being how I learned this. I hope the universe is givething generously
@blondetdbear3
11 ай бұрын
@@ashgavs that's terrifying! Sending you so much love & support!
@kokoschultz
10 ай бұрын
Anytime Ashley cries about this, I feel so bad and cry myself. I wish her healing as soon as possible she is such an Angel and brings so much laughter to my life and SO many others. We need her in the queer community. FOREVER 💜 your true fans aren’t going anywhere.
@Rexxie00
11 ай бұрын
I saw that video very early in the morning trying to find one of Ash's funny crowdwork videos and knew immediately something was wrong. Messaged Ashley and was like something is wrong and it's like she doesn't really know your work and must have been shocked about the intensity (which other people enjoy). I was very shocked at how people were ready to jump on the bandwagon of hate even though Ashley is literally one of the sweetest comedians I know. I hope you are doing okay now Ash and I'm glad about your good news even though we don't know what it is 😡😡
@sanjilone7278
11 ай бұрын
is there an uncut audio of the show available? im so curious, but i don''t want to listen to some cobbled together hitpiece
@Eva-ez1ks
10 ай бұрын
This person heckled and then acted shocked that they got pushback for being a rude audience member. Hecklers really ruin so many performances and comedians have to try to improvise and steer the show back on track when people from the audience literally shout over them and their performance. I don't know why so many people think comedy is the one stage performance art where they can shout and interrupt with their drunken rambling
@bay5854
9 ай бұрын
So, as someone who's watched you from the start, you keep talking about showing them the video before...Release that video uncut then publicly. It will put everything right if it happened the way you say it happened because otherwise it is still a mess. It still seems like her version makes sense and it seems like your version makes sense. People of the age of a bunch of your fan base on freaking tiktok who will never watch your podcast will always need VIDEO PROOF!
@jherellgranger3216
9 ай бұрын
BRO! EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING! Why’d it disappearin the first place!? No idea why she wants *her*version of it to be put out if there’s an uncut video of the interaction that she claims to show the others. Shit just don’t add up
@bay5854
9 ай бұрын
@@jherellgranger3216 exactly, just show it to everyone and then it'll be very easy to prove what actually happened. Otherwise it's still a bad looking situation with several people saying the same thing happened to them and videos backing that and none backing her.
@helenwright413
11 ай бұрын
This message will likely get lost in the comments section here, but I just had to say something. I love you guys, all three of you, that hasn't changed for me. I found this podcast a few months ago, as it was recommended to me through KZitem's algorithm after I watched a lot of Ashley's content. I watched the special too and I'm 100% in agreement of what Ashley said here about it all being set up in there for the jokes that were to come. I have a dark sense of humour and I freaking LOVED the special, and Ashley's crowd work is always top drawer. When this kerfuffle happened, I only watched a couple of seconds of the audio/video from that edited one before I was like "ummm you're at the wrong show mate, I'm sure this isn't exactly what happened". Ashely's right, don't bring that kind of energy to a comedy show, take it to a councellor or GP. You go to an Ashley Gavin show knowing that nothing is off the table to be joked about, that's why we love it! It's a release and a reminder to not take life so seriously. We're here for a good time, not a long time. If they want to get upset and leave then that's fine, that's their choice. You even offered them a refund, that's all you could do as you're ON STAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SET! I'll never understand hecklers. Any way, just wanted to say that I didn't engage with any of that "cancel" bullshit. What the media and the internet hive mind did to you was inexcusable and cruel. I just waited till you three were going to speak on the topic, to see what actually happened. I trust you guys and I love the friendship/family/community you have built here together ❤🤗 Chin up Ashley, remember you are loved. Sending you all so much love and big warm hugs from Manchester UK xXx
@sydnaps1995
10 ай бұрын
This is why I didn’t buy into all that shit I knew there was more to it
@carterthetaco5693
11 ай бұрын
I just want to say that I love both podcasts, and having seen the special and gone to a show (even after I heard about all this bc I knew there had to be more context and you would never sincerely say things like that and mean them), the fact that you joke about darker topics but obviously have empathy about it and you’re not “punching down” is one of the things I love about your comedy! You joke about these things in a way that makes them less scary and isolatingv if that makes sense. I’m sorry so many people were determined to misunderstand you.
@thisisrealbaby1
11 ай бұрын
Ashley if that secret bleeped out thing isn’t you hosting the next season of the Queer Ultimatum I WILL be rioting. ✊🏻
@thisisrealbaby1
11 ай бұрын
But also, I appreciate your vulnerability more than words can say. Makes me even more hype to keep supporting you and see you this weekend in DC 👏🏻
@samanthatemple359
11 ай бұрын
GET OUTTTTT OF HEREEEE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH
@aquamarine3699
11 ай бұрын
PLEASEEEEE
@blondetdbear3
11 ай бұрын
I agree! She'd be amazing! Especially since a queer love reality show was something she tried pitching before & got shot down! I NEED her as a host of something like this FR!
@margarett406
10 ай бұрын
So glad for this episode.
@ramywiles
11 ай бұрын
Bit of a rant incoming, so something a little more mild first: I appreciate this breakdown of what happened so much, especially for all the insight you're providing into how comedy and performance art works. I'm a musician and therefore a performer to a certain extent, and it makes complete sense to me that there are certain rules and expectations of the space that you might not know intuitively beforehand and need to have explained to you, especially surrounding dark subject matter and audience interaction. That said? I'm still absolutely livid on your behalf, Ashley, that this escalated to the point that it did, and I have a pretty uncharitable opinion of anyone who has been around long enough to know better and who still tried to hold your feet to the fire for this. I recognize that that kind of anger isn't productive in trying to counteract misinformation and escalating tensions, so I've held back on it to the best of my ability when trying to engage with other people on this (and if anyone chooses to respond to this I will do my best to just acknowledge that it's there rather than leaning into it), but it's still there all the same. I still feel what I feel -- and honestly, I suppose so be it if it edges into parasociality and assuming I know someone I don't actually know as a person. _I_ know that I choose to keep listening because I appreciate what you all do here, not because I'm looking for you to be paragons of lesbian representation or of some other kind of ideals I hold. Alayna was the first of the three of you that I subscribed to, all the way back in 2015, and her breaking off her engagement and re-coming out helped show me that I needed to do the same thing. And because I knew your work, Ashley, through your collabs with her, I started listening to WHGS... and it was nothing short of a lifeline in the months that followed. The conversations you (and Kate at the time) had with all your guests were consistently thought-provoking, profound, and reassuring that I wasn't alone, that I was plunging my life into the particular chaos involved in uprooting your "straight" life in favor of an openly queer one for a reason. The reason was that there are _so many of us_ out there, and we all have different stories to tell, and we are all multifaceted and perseverant and also _really fucking funny_ through it all. Things have calmed down for me since, but I still keep that force of queer comedy in the bedrock of my life, and I'm better off for it. And at the end of the day, it just makes me absolutely furious that someone who gave that gift to me was read in such bad faith, and by other people who purported to be in that same position of seeking community and refuge as me. I'm just so sorry -- and I'm so glad you're still here and that you did what you needed to do to keep going and keep yourself safe. I hope the worst of it is over.
@samanthatemple359
11 ай бұрын
I was devastated when this happened, I’m a survivor of suicide (dead dad’s club represent) but I was not upset because of what you said, I was upset seeing how you were being treated! I was not offended in the least because I have been following you here and on whgs and I knew that it was a comedy show, it was missing context and I was confident your heart has always been in the right place. I’m so glad you were able to keep your head up and get through this. I was so worried you would get buried under presumptions and gossip and I would have lost someone I really enjoy having in my life (so to speak). So from one dead dad’s club lesbian to another, thank you for persevering. We are all here for you and will continue to support. See you in Milwaukee!
@PillboxBollocks
10 ай бұрын
@Mo_Pendelum referred me here, saving me from a Cancel Cultist's nonsense. Great pod. I feel for you, Ash. And at episode 54, it looks like I got some catching up to do.
@sydneyhowell6016
11 ай бұрын
I knew this seemed odd when it was unfolding, this all makes so much sense. We know that wasn’t like you and definitely respect/appreciate you keeping the people you care about safe. Thank you for your vulnerability and responsibility Ashley. We know you and we love you!!
@sydneyhowell6016
11 ай бұрын
Ugh when you cry it breaks my heart. This community is truly a special one, and it only exists because of you !!!
@ebthepurple
11 ай бұрын
IMO, your body is part of your act, so much context is removed when it is just the audio. It's frustrating that folks jump to conclusions without doing any thinking. I, personally, didn't know you were canceled. If it's from twitter, that is a cesspool now of garbage. The general public isnt on there anymore, just folks who wanna stir up trouble.
@daughterofdemeter
11 ай бұрын
I know it’s nuanced, the cancelation was excessive. I say with love as I’m a huge fan of Ashley as a person but I’m just so not into that kind of comedy. It’s not funny to me at all, never has been. But I know that so I just wouldn’t go to a show, I’ll support her in ways that make me happy!
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
I will say, this is just not representative of my comedy. How comedians react to hecklers is often quite different than the written material they do, and that is 99% of the material you are going to see. If you want a sense of my comedy, I recommend watching 10-15 minutes of my stand up special. That's my comedy. But this is another thing folks in the internet age need to learn about comedy, clips do not equal comedy. There are plenty of comics out there who are killer at crowdwork and the material is awful, and vice versa. There are people who are so insanely talented but can't get a viral 10 minute set. There are people with viral 10 minute sets with pretty shitty Netflix specials. Short form is an advertisement, and sadly, its not always aligned with our actual points of view. My jokes tend to be longer, nuanced, thoughtful, subversive, etc. I can't pack that into a 2 minute clip. But I can pack in some roasty crowdwork into a 2 minute clip. Anyway, that's my diatribe. And if you still hate my stand up that's fine, hahaha. I hope you continue to enjoy the podcasts.
@tessayo
10 ай бұрын
Feel the same way! That comedy is WAY WAY too far and it’s never okay to tell someone to kill themselves when they say “i tried” like that is NOT okay I’m sorry I don’t understand why she barely took accountability bc the girls story was true-she said what she claimed she said
@theszmek
11 ай бұрын
Hi Ashley, I'm sorry that this all got taken to such a harmful level. It seems like you've really reflected, done all you can in this scenario and hopefully you're uncancelled as a result. You provide incredible content in many ways. Thank you.
@TheClobo2001
11 ай бұрын
I hate this whole situation. If you feel entitled and brave enough to heckle a comedian, expect to get shit back, this is not your time or place. Its like, i saw only fools and horses the musical and midway through the first act someone decided to shout out and heckle, and they stopped the show to put them on the spot. And that was a musical. Interrupting a comedian and then being shocked when they say something to you? Maybe you shouldn't see live shows.
@aoifetheresa1993
10 ай бұрын
Ashley I’m so glad I clicked on this video and watched all the way through. I really relate to the experience of being misunderstood and hurting others unintentionally and people viewing you and seeing you as evil or a narcissist or some awful thing that you have never wanted to be. I can not imagine going through that at this scale. You’ve handled this the best you could and I’m thankful that you, your family, friends and fans are safe. Honestly I took a break from your content for a bit cause it seemed not good but I could also tell it was complicated and was waiting for your full side. The internet is so black and white sometimes and very rarely makes room for redemption and forgiveness. There is no accountability in the act of hating someone. The internet is not real life. I’m so sorry you have gone through this, I’m proud of you for meditating on this and making it a learning experience.
@SandiByrd
5 ай бұрын
Okay well after listening to the arrogance without any actual clarification on why you rage screamed at this woman I've come to the conclusion I was correct about this situation when it happened. It was NUTS. Anyone with ears can hear it - that's not "Part of a comedy show". Sorry. I'm not "NEW" either I'm many years older than you. This isn't about people "not getting it". This is about you losing your shit on the mic and taking things TOO FAR. It definitely helps to have friends to sit and agree with you. I'm sure 99% of the comments do too. I do not. Your behavior was gross.
@eitherorbooks
11 ай бұрын
Honestly this whole situation is so dumb. It's common knowledge that if you heckle a comedian then you open yourself up to get roasted, that's the medium. It sounds like this person was going through something that had nothing to do with you, but that's no excuse for creating a death mob. And it's no excuse for people piling on to a situation where they can't possibly have all the facts. This whole self righteous keyboard warrior negativity spiral thing has to end, it's dangerous and typically a giant waste of time.
@christinabuffa6417
11 ай бұрын
I can’t imagine how difficult this all must have been for you, Ashley, but I really wanted to say that I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty in this video. As someone who is newer to the channel and your comedy, when I saw that video, I didn’t know how to feel. I think I am a little bit too much of a traumatized, sensitive little Pisces baby for your stand up and that’s okay 🩷 I’m happy to be back with the podcast fam. Sending love to you all.
@Jess-pg5xb
11 ай бұрын
I wouldn’t have apologized lol if you cannot take dark comedy, you have no business being in a comedy show setting. Heckling is never okay either. How big headed do you have to be to feel that that is ever okay. Just STFU and laugh. They practice their sets for a reason. If they want to interact, they will. Smh
@Miss.sassycassy
11 ай бұрын
Dads crying is always the hardest thing to watch because I never know what to do.. do I hug my dad? Do I slap her on the back and say “it’s gonna be ok champ” like dad always does when I cry? I don’t know but it’s ok dad those of us who know dad know dad is all jokes and big heart.
@honeybri7061
11 ай бұрын
There's so many words piling up in my brain, but the intent is just to share some love with you all. Digital hugs to anyone who wants one.
@luxurypetscz
11 ай бұрын
I think one of the problems with the internet and social media is that we end up feeling too safe sometimes. In real life there are spaces which are not safe and are not designed or supposed to be safe for sharing and that's okay. I don't want to say that comedy shows are supposed to be unsafe or cause harm to people, but they are just not safe spaces to express ourselves in the audience. We're observers, we're there to enjoy the show. To offer such intimate and voulnerable information in comedy show is just not a good idea in general and the best thing that can happen is the comedian doing their job, making fun of you. Saying "I tried" at a suicide joke is to me simmilar as singing while watching an opera in theatre or painting on a painting in a museum. Ashley didn't handle it very well, there should have been security and just everything should have happened differently. But the cause of this situation was an audience member oversteping and acting inapropriately.
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
This is a great way to characterize the disconnect between a portion of my audience online and how they can sometimes feel at an IRL event.
@DDD2323-z5i
11 ай бұрын
Ashley, I truly love you, and I really mean that. Regardless of this whole situation I need you to know that you've helped me so much more than I can even express. At some of my lowest points as someone who's closeted I felt like your content was the only way I could laugh through all the hardships in my life. Not only that, but the community that came along with you and your content is unbelievable. All the listeners are so kind and I absolutely love everyone in the discord and comment sections. The story you told about the young trans man really broke my heart as well. I understand how being afraid of losing that sense of security and safety between you and the community you've built would be absolutely terrifying, but that beautiful and loving community that the story of the trans man depicts is still the Ashley Gavin fanbase I know today. You may have lost followers, but the ones who you've helped are still here, and I don't think they're going away any time soon. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me and for others. Thank you for making us laugh. Thank you for giving us representation and validation. And thank you for giving us community. Again, I love you, Ashley. I hope you're doing well
@ashgavs
11 ай бұрын
This made me cry. Thank you ❤
@hannaheiserman1632
11 ай бұрын
Amen!!
@andrewcooper2598
11 ай бұрын
please know your awesome I know in your heart is love not hate errors happen people grow we understand ur not a evil person you don't deserve violent threads against family or audience best wishes @@ashgavs
@carligirrl
10 ай бұрын
This feels less likea normal podcast episode and more like witnessing a therapy session where Ashley is the client and Alayna is the therapist, and that's not a complaint. I'm so into it. I LOVE it. And also Alayna legit seems like she'll be a LOVELY therapist.
@dieselfrog5276
11 ай бұрын
We got Ashley's back. She did her best and that is all anyone can do.
@mayareads708
11 ай бұрын
I still dont know why this became a big deal. I heard the edited version, like the one that makes ahsley look bad. And i thought that wasnt great but like shit happens its a live show. Great that it was out of context be even without this explanation i still dont get how it got sooo big. Like its crazy
@JanneBernards
11 ай бұрын
It's all the oversensitive gays who got molded in their online echo chambers to think that even thinking about joking about suicide (or any other bad thing) is the worst crime imaginable, let alone saying it out loud.
@_asantesana_squashbanana_
11 ай бұрын
@@JanneBernards There's actually a surprising amount of people in the more privileged demographics spreading and ringleading hate campaigns against minorities. A lot of bigots hiding behind the guise of 'social justice'.
@mayareads708
11 ай бұрын
@@JanneBernards from my understanding it got picked up by right wing people. 🙃
@JanneBernards
11 ай бұрын
@@mayareads708 Yes, but they weren't the driving force or the instigators. This whole thing was blown out of proportion by (mostly) queer women in their teens and 20's. I know, I saw it happen in real time.
@dianaolver
11 ай бұрын
I never ever comment on KZitem videos, but feel the need to here. This is of course only the view of a 38 year old South African lesbian, who loves your work. Granted South African's are notoriously good at taking the piss out of serious situations, because if we didn't we wouldn't survive. There is a certain level of social and emotional aquity needed when you attend a stand up comedy show aimed at adults. Period. I know that I am not a fan of being in the limelight as its a trauma trigger, so I am never ever going to put myself in a situation at a comedy show where I am making myself a target for a joke or banter. And if me sinking in my seat to avoid it, gets the opposite of what I intended and a comedian does interact, i'd 100% roll with it. This is the nature of a comedy show. If you are not wanting to become part of a joke around a topic you deem to be sensitive, then surely you don't shout it out. The situation is actually a tad baffling. To take snippets in isolation is the evil of social media these days i'm afraid, then with the intention of destroying someone or their work is so unnecessary. Sadly being from South Africa, we are yet to be graced with your presence in person. I cannot wait for the day. What that means is we have to consume what we can online and I follow all of your work. I saw the snippet and uproar after seeing a headline and thinking to myself, this doesn't seem to make sense. Being a survivor I admit my first reaction was ok, thats intense, but what they're saying about you and the show did not align with my experience of you and the idea I hold of who you are in my head. The next step after this is for me the key when taking in any type of information online. Either dismiss it or agree with it and move on. Alternatively, the mature response get the all the information and decide for yourself (not as part of the mass uproar) whether or not you agree and what a mature response to that is. Cancelling someone in this case is far from a mature response, especially when you are not assessing all the information. Anyone, with all the information and who took the time to then get the context, and learn more about who you are, would never ever think these are feelings you sit with as truth or in reality. We love you. Who you are. The work you do. The laughs you provide. The reprieve you give from the sh*t show the world is. And from one "older" lesbian top to another...onwards and upwards!
@Madame_Rose
11 ай бұрын
This is gomna make me sound like a douche, but I saw what people were talking about and knew it was bring blown out of proportion. I commented on some videos and clips asking other people in the comments for mote specifics about why they viewed her as a "kind, caring gay in her shows" but were shocked by her dark jokes because I've seen her clips and her special twice and the whole thing is a brilliantly dark show with MOMENTS of vulnerability and tears. But she literally is always calling people little bitches and pieces of shit as JOKES!! I just don't get anyone who is actually a fan or her work even questioning that the clips were altered and out of context and not the whole picture. Anyway, Ashley, you're fabulous and your comedy is soooooo well written AND well performed. You're not for everyone and that is OK, in fact it's expected. Love all 3 of you and your podcast and your support of each other ❤❤❤
@dreaminactive
10 ай бұрын
no hate but olivia clearly wanted a viral tiktok moment and she got it lol
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