It’s even harder when you don’t receive an apology or any accountability and then seeing this person be well liked by others. It just eats away at my soul
@zaidaliahmed7869
9 ай бұрын
Ugh, this exactly. I don't get how they have other friends and are liked by people when they can be so shitty in private.
@LeratoM98
5 ай бұрын
This. I have a co worker like this, unfortunately technically also my superior!
@PP-po3ri
2 жыл бұрын
I would never like to have a friend like that Nike lady. Best Regards for Marisa ❤️
@Pencilbox-lq6os
2 жыл бұрын
Its more important to be kind than to be right. Yes! I agree with what you say, but I've started to show that to myself. I'm kind to myself when I dont overextend to people who dont do the same for me. I'm kind to myself when I dont forgive and bring people back into my life that I could do better without.
@terabaapaya556
2 жыл бұрын
That friend is of no use who covers stolen shoes money from a friend after all these years and still has no improvement in thoughts. Such people are selfish. And unhelpful friends brings more tragedy to life. Better not to have them. Unless we need more friends for marketing our profession.
@rajbilla76
2 жыл бұрын
Tera baap Aya 💯👏🏽 the friend's EGO was disgusting! She should have apologised for her part but it seemed like materialistic things were far more important than accepting blame and showing compassion. Good riddance is what I would have said, because time should bring humility and changed behaviour, she showed neither. 🌈 ✨
@roxannedelport2244
2 жыл бұрын
Well said, babe! 💗
@dinajose7co
2 жыл бұрын
couldn't agree more, never overextend to folks who wouldn't do the same = learnt the hard way. I wouldn't have given her the money though, for a pair of trainers lol
@dinajose7co
2 жыл бұрын
@@terabaapaya556 agree 100 100 , I'd have lost that friend over a pair of trainers because she wouldn't see the grander issue of broken into car. Empathy in a relationship should work both ways.
@catrionacondon326
2 жыл бұрын
I love Marisa and her videos but I really struggled with this one. I think when people show you who they are, believe them. If this is the mentality that "friend" who wanted money for the shoes has then problems like this will reoccur. I think Marisa compromised her own boundaries and self respect by bowing to this person. I have great respect for Marisa but I couldn't stay silent on this one
@crbarnes001
6 ай бұрын
How long do you need to be hurt for before you decide its enough. Let go move on heal yourself.
@SA-Bean-Bean
2 жыл бұрын
I totally agree with you- it was NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL about your window! What kind of friend said that?!! You were kind enough to ALLOW HER to put her stuff in YOUR vehicle- AND SHE TOOK THE RISK for leaving her stuff out in the open like that. 100% HER PROBLEM and she should have paid for your window. TBH, forgiving is one thing but i wouldn't want a friend that thinks that way anyways...
@insanemaori
2 жыл бұрын
years later she still didn't accept it.. I was hoping you were gonna say she gave you a big hug and cried and said I'm sorry and gave you the check back.. sometimes its not just about money. I would choose forgive her for my own mental well-being but i wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that
@kes1582
2 жыл бұрын
Wow...she was (or is) no friend. That's not a friend I would want to have.
@ejungleska
2 жыл бұрын
I agree. I would've given the money from the start but said never talk to me again.
@Leadd4way
8 ай бұрын
I wouldn't give anything to someone like that. Someone like that "friend" isn't worth being in your life if her personality is like this. Wouldn't want to be around people like her. I mean forgiveness and letting is good, but you have to have atleast a little bit of selfworth to not allow people do that to you. Otherwise they will do it again.
@Evaselfmade
Жыл бұрын
This makes alot of sense "better to be kind than right"
@angijac18
2 жыл бұрын
You have to keep trying, every time you can’t let go and it seems impossible, keep trying new approaches, new mindsets, it WILL happen. Took 1 year and 4 months for me to finally let go of the hatred, the pain, the trauma. I created chaos in my wake. Hurt people hurt people, please try to heal everyone, I wish everyone nothing but the best
@alwayspeace898
6 ай бұрын
no stop trying ppl r not a project just take as is
@andro396
2 жыл бұрын
here is the question .. if you keep forgive and people keep crossing your boundaries and hurt you ? how is it good for us to forgive disrespect ?
@graffiti9145
Жыл бұрын
Forgive but don't forget!
@jn8922
2 жыл бұрын
I disagree. I had a friend that constantly took off me. She was toxic. She would tell me I'm depressed when talking about my issues but failed to see how disfunctional her mentality was. We were at varsity together but she dropped out. A few years ago we decided we hadn't seen each other in 8 years so we went on a holiday. I had paid R5000 for 5 days at a hotel for both of us - I didn't expect her to pay half. She was supposed to pay for her own food and drive us around. But when she arrived, she suddenly expected me to pay for everything. That holiday ended up costing me just around 15 000 for 5 days!!!! She refused to drive us around because petrol was expensive. Would want to go eat at vegan restaurants and refused to eat the breakfast at the hotel but instead was hungry every 2 hours. She didn't want to go anywhere and wanted to stay in the hotel room because it she didn't want to spend her money on the attractions. And this was one incident, there are others. She believed in angels and always was very positive because she saw mooching off others as blessings. She would use friendship to stay at friend's houses and eat their food without contributing anything because she believed everyone loves her so much, it was just her blessings. But she lacked self awareness. Friendship is a two way street. Just because people love you, its not permission to use them. Well I finally wisened up. So being right saved me from her toxicity. But every situation is different. Was it worth losing her friendship? Absolutely.
@wordupup7155
Жыл бұрын
JN she was never your friend,,why would you spend that much cash on her was you that blinded..you
@crbarnes001
6 ай бұрын
You can lose the friendship and forgive.
@kyliefarmer185
2 жыл бұрын
But this is what I would question, so your mate years on still blames you and took the money, not that it's about the money but to me she doesnt sound like a real friend in the first place, I understand the letting go part but to keep her in your life after that and call her a real friend .....naaa....I would of brought her the pumps and said later👋🏼 not in a bitter twisted way just not allowing space🤷🏻♀️
@geraldinelogan4074
2 жыл бұрын
I understand from my inner healing and deliverance therapist forgiving someone and being healed from the hurt are two different issues. I really helped me to let go
@geraldinelogan4074
2 жыл бұрын
@Joyce Samuel had session with inner healing and deliverance counslor was wonderful. Pastor/therapist Timothy Lane. Thank you for reply. Bless you on your healing journey
@adicbn
2 жыл бұрын
My prosecutor needs to hear this before the court trial 😂😂😂
@annettegulliver7592
2 жыл бұрын
I have been rejected by my family my whole life. Even now in my hour of need I have no-one to turn to. Forgiving can be difficult when it is lifelong.
@rajbilla76
2 жыл бұрын
❤️
@proinseasnihanluain4735
2 жыл бұрын
Annette I know how this is. I hope you stopped trying to earn their acceptance. Remember that you can create a new family of people who will love, cherish, respect and appreciate you.
@annettegulliver7592
2 жыл бұрын
@@rajbilla76 I did 3 years ago with my radio family. I am a presenter on a station. It was my 50th in April. I got no happy birthday wishes from my blood family.
@newcruiser
Жыл бұрын
A friend told me once: "What do you want, to be right or to be happy" ?. But anyways it is very hard to DO. Deep inside we want to CHANGE things or people but that is impossible sometimes. The secret is to ACCEPT things as they are. And again this is not easy and it is a really complex issue. We have to accept that also and take our time AND forgive ourselves. As I said it is NOT easy so...take your time.
@cindybuntain9361
Жыл бұрын
Best words of wisdom I’ve ever heard
@rebecca.sydney
2 жыл бұрын
Every video you post is so therapeutic for me. I listen to you daily. Thank you! 🙏🏼
@NamgyalTsekey
3 ай бұрын
I needed to hear this, Even though I was not in the wrong, I forgave them, it is not important to be right. Even when i was wronged, i wanted to clarify it badly and had pain in the back for so many days. It is more important to be kind than to be right. I need to learn this. if something can be fixed with money, and if it can be done .
@gilimonnichmeyer6652
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Marisa! I am listening to you every day. Your talk is very relevant ! We al have been on both sides of the “who is right and who is wrong” i had powerful sad events 7 years ago.. it took me 2 years to change my perspective and when I started to let go and forgive all the people involved Including myself.. it really felt like a backpack full of rocks fell of my shoulders. It was devastating chain of events then.. yet it Transformed my life and made me who I am today. I coped and from the surviving victim I emerged as a True me. I would not like to change what happened, I am grateful for my inner wisdom, strength and love .. lots of healing took place . Letting go and forgiving is a true Liberation!
@jfilm7466
2 жыл бұрын
She was wrong! Growing up we watched PSAs telling us not to leave property visible in the car because people would break in and steal it. Good that you forgave her.
@annemarie9980
2 жыл бұрын
Love your talks.. Reminders to be kind and forgiving💝💖
@kellyannegarber8826
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Marisa, I needed to hear this today.
@LouisLuzuka
2 жыл бұрын
I deserve to be free ❤️
@rajinilata2243
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@annamir1404
Жыл бұрын
Wow "it's more important to be kind then to be right" that hit me.
@michaelgayles3843
2 жыл бұрын
Needed to hear that
@woopiemiddleman8232
2 жыл бұрын
Your friend is the wrong one. It’s her fault.
@mentalpositions596
2 жыл бұрын
Forgive is to much effort unless you mean forgetting. But to just stop resenting things people done or doing is the way that then leads to forgetting.
@Gtinchen
3 ай бұрын
I totally agree to most of what you’re saying about forgiveness but don’t confuse forgiveness with being played. The friend of yours will continue her behaviour after you give her the the money, she sees it as a validation that she’s in the right and she never has seen you as a friend if 150$ was the way to restore this friendship. As you have said, sometimes, you have to let it go and this friend should’ve been the first thing you should let it go.
@marygary1455
2 жыл бұрын
It was the the person that broken car you're leaving out the third party it was the Thief fault
@akcyp80
2 жыл бұрын
How to forgive yourself? How do you let go of the anger you feel for yourself?
@MarisaPeer
2 жыл бұрын
Marisa has a self-hypnosis that can help here: shop.marisapeer.com/products/let-go-of-grudges?_pos=1&_sid=5f6f594b7&_ss=r Team Marisa Peer
@Fatima_316
2 жыл бұрын
Important topic, thank you for making this video
@shayjtarot
2 жыл бұрын
You're absolutely ✅
@catherineharber6514
2 жыл бұрын
Marisa, it really helped when you shared about the falling out you had with your friend over the exposed aerobics bag + car break in + her expecting you to pay for her trainers. I had a very similar experience with my roommate nearly 15 years ago. She said “hey cat, catch!” Then quickly & loosely tossed me her $100 digital camera wanting me to take a picture of her & the cheerleader team she was coaching 😆. I didn’t get a good grip on it, so it fell, and the lens broke. Even though I considered it her fault; because I was still a people pleaser and wanting to be in good graces with someone I live with, I was willing to pay for half of the value of it to put towards her replacement. Not only did she claim it was all of my fault and I had to pay for the whole camera, but she kept on picking out $150-$200 cameras and insisted that if I just buy her that one, then we’re all good. I still to this day can’t remember my final decision because she was really aggressive & combative. All I can recall is for a few weeks as we were trying to come to some type of compromise she yelled really mean insults & stormed out. I’m pretty sure I stuck to my guns and just gave her a $50 bill. I was really struggling financially at the time as a freshman in college, and even that put a big dent in my bank account. She ended up chasing away our other roommate (her parents owned the condo). I left immediately once my 1 year lease was up. It was only still haunting me because my siblings who also have narcissistic traits similar to that roommate were still holding that falling out against me. I feel better already and like I can finally let go 💫.
@malexmartinez4007
2 жыл бұрын
How did she chase away your other roommate? So her character is really that bad? 😭
@catherineharber6514
2 жыл бұрын
That’s a good question. I still to this day don’t know what caused the other roommate to move out. I was probably too distracted by my conflict with the owner of the condo. But I remember about 1 week after the camera incident, the other roommate told me she found a studio that only costs $150 more than what she’s currently paying for her room, so definitely moving out. I refrained from inquiring on the reasons for her decision because I wasn’t that close to her, and I didn’t want it to seem like I was prying. I just thanked her for the info, and that’s what prompted me to move out on my own a few weeks later 😎.
@atenesha
2 жыл бұрын
It's nice to be important but more important to be nice.
@HurricaneIrene07
2 жыл бұрын
This is why not how. Tnx.
@insanemaori
2 жыл бұрын
forgiveness is the difference between getting over it and letting go
@LouisLuzuka
2 жыл бұрын
Notification gang checking in 🙏🏽😭
@dr.khuloodalsuwaidi3201
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Marisa
@sofiamariaserrano3320
2 жыл бұрын
Can u share a meditatiom about this topic please?
@MarisaPeer
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Sofia, please see the link for this here: shop.marisapeer.com/products/let-go-of-grudges?_pos=1&_sid=5f6f594b7&_ss=r Team Marisa Peer
@edelfarrell6920
2 жыл бұрын
Needed to hear this tonight x
@-Raquel-
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the videos. 👍
@MarisaPeer
2 жыл бұрын
You’re welcome ❤️
@martinmusokem5765
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Marisa. This video has made me to forgive the man who stole my 12 million shillings. It hurts but I let go.
@oldhippie4206
Жыл бұрын
I forgive everyone after year's of alcoholism and drug addiction, nobody's forgiving towards me and I'm beyond hurt ashamed and today everyone can go there way I'm not around Certain people today for Reason I'm letting go sometimes it's best toxic after year's doesn't change let go that's my change today
@stacyhardin3507
5 ай бұрын
People don’t need friends like that in their lives at all. I can only imagine what other atrocities that friend has committed upon you throughout your friendship. it is better to be kind to yourself than to beg a toxic person to be your friend. You should have kept your $150.
@AmericanBeautyCorset
Жыл бұрын
How do you Forgive Someone if they are dead??? I Had a lot of abuse from my mother! She often told me, that she wished I was never born!! That I ruined het life! At her funeral I didnt shed a tear!! How so you let go from so MUCH Trauma??? Thank you
@akatsukicrazy4life
Жыл бұрын
I can’t make sense of my partner being in multiple relationships, spreading stds, and then convincing me i was his only partner. Regardless, I know he has issues and he chose to be the way he is, but for me I have to let go. I have to see him as a random messed up person that retaliated against all of us women for the mistakes his mom made when he was little. I can’t hold onto the anger and resentment because it will change me.
@tallspicy
2 жыл бұрын
Marissa, can you tell us where you get your bracelets?
@MarisaPeer
2 жыл бұрын
Marisa's 'I Am Enough' bracelets are not available for sale at the moment. We will be sure to advise of any updates. You can check out Marisa's other merchandise via Teespring here: marisa-peer-t-shop.creator-spring.com/? Team Marisa Peer
@lelandlewis8237
Жыл бұрын
I think any good friend would feel bad for their friend who’s car window that got broken and not care about their shoes at the point. It’s the friend’s option to help Marisa repair the car window but to ask for money for her shoes….thats not cool. And if I was Marisa, I would not expect my friends to help me with the repair cost of the car window but if they asked me for money for their shoes im this situation, that would indicate they aren’t a good friend. Well im glad that they settled it eventually.
@serignecheikh510
2 жыл бұрын
Ah merci beaucoup c est génial on a la traduction en français
@michaelscott3175
Жыл бұрын
But from childhood i was a punch bag , my mom always dump all her frustration, anger whenever she have a fight with dad. I am acting as a referee between them whenever they are having screaming match since childhood, how can I let go of this? How can I let go of the fact that my parents robbed my childhood? I became mature by the time i turned 12 , definitely not by choice, i have no other option. Children have to behave like adult, if parents acting like children. How can I let go of the resentment i have for them? I really love my parents but their dysfunctional marriage has caused a lot of pain and suffering and they refuse to acknowledge this when I try to bring their attention
@shaggyalonso
2 жыл бұрын
4:34 But how can you remain friends with someone who isn't willing to see your point of view when you're willing to see theirs? Surely a major pre-requisite about being good friends is about empathising with one another's position.
@honeybunn_deluxxe
2 жыл бұрын
💜
@Loadedchamberrecords
2 жыл бұрын
She isn't a friend
@31JerBro
Жыл бұрын
Bring kind and being a push over with no self respect are to different things.
@ajlavanetwork5755
2 жыл бұрын
cheating? How does this still apply?
@MarisaPeer
2 жыл бұрын
Marisa Peer teaches us to let go of past hurt and pain so we can move on with our lives even when others have unfairly wronged us. The trouble is that holding onto these hard feelings only ends up eating into our lives, and the only people we harm and impact are ourselves. When we are free of any feelings of bitterness, injustice, and resentment, we are free to live a happy and fulfilled life and put things in our past. You can find out more here: shop.marisapeer.com/products/let-go-of-grudges Marisa Peer Team
@andreeaciobanu6215
2 жыл бұрын
❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
@laylam4241
2 жыл бұрын
I don’t this person is worthy of your friendship. I wish you would take you kindness and generosity to someone who values you,
@mkh2799
2 жыл бұрын
🙏
@rawr333r
Жыл бұрын
You did not tell us how to let go of grudges you just explained why it's beneficial to let go of anger or grudges. I already know why I need to, that's why I'm here. At least change the title
@adrianam2157
4 ай бұрын
Really? Children of abusive parents contributed ????
@olund88
2 жыл бұрын
The story is not about the money, the story is about the character of person. I struggle here with Marissa point of view. Seems releasing the person would be best .
@mudraofwitches
2 жыл бұрын
Hi Marisa, might I ask for a video on how you can deal with the loss of smell and taste after COVID? I know it’s a bit of a odd request but it’s just so scary and so uncertain 😭
@MarisaPeer
2 жыл бұрын
Hi, thank you so much for your suggestion. I will make sure that I pass that on to Marisa and the team 🌸 Marisa Peer Team
@christinab7455
Жыл бұрын
But shes not your friend. I agree with letting things go/releasing yourself of the burden, but not letting it go to be friends with someone that cant admit fault. I would let it go and let her go too
@christinegee9000
2 жыл бұрын
So true -when you think about real friends, letting go is such a small price to pay with what they can give you and is so much more than being right over such a non important thing. It’s the right thing to let it go. You are the better person for doing it. Thanks Marisa x
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