I don't know what to do anymore. I'm depressed (there are many reasons). I see all these videos of trans guys talking about, being a tomboy (when they were growing up, before realizing they were trans) and wanting to hang out with the boys when they were little but I wasn't like that not until maybe grade 9 (freshmen year) but even more during this year of school (grade 10, I'll be in grade 11 in September) I've known I'm bi forever, then I thought I was gender fluid, now I really don't know. I've always hung with the girls but I've never been able to relate to them and some of the guys used to bully me, the other one's mostly ignore me. I used to be really socially awkward, that’s probably why. (Small school, less than 200, less than 15 in my class). Very recently I've been wondering if maybe I'm trans. I put a wig on and looked in the mirror and started crying happy tears because I felt like I looked... right. I've wanted to cut my hair too, I told my mom I wanted a haircut and she said sure... then she asked how short, I told her really short and she said no, after that I showed her a picture... she laughed at me. I really only have three friends, I want to talk to them about it but I'm afraid that I’m wrong and that I'll regret it later or something. I can't stand to see my umm "chest" anymore either. It's weird because someone who's straight might look at a straight couple and want to be in a relationship like that but for me it's been different, I've felt like that about gay couples (two guys). I can't stand the idea of me being with a guy as a girl. I'm bi but I do lean toward guys. With girls no matter what I find them attractive, I've never questioned how my maybe gender relates to them because I'm guessing it doesn't? I've been really angry and depressed lately and your depression vid didn't exactly help because I can't call because as you can see my parents aren't really nice or understanding, also the Trevor chat and the other one were both not up and running. Sorry I needed to rant to someone.
@hmmoonshine90
7 жыл бұрын
Hi there! Firstly, I'm truly sorry to hear you're going through this. Just know, you're not alone. Therapy could be a really great step, it'll be confidential and you may really benefit from it. I'm glad you checked out the Trevor Project, it is a bummer that the chat is only certain hours, but they do have a hotline you can call, so does the Trans LifeLine. As for your questions of being trans or uncertain about it, its totally normal. And the beautiful thing is, there isn't a right or wrong way to be trans. Everyone has different experiences with their journey. My favorite quote by Kate Bornstein, "And we're saying gender isn't rigid - it's fluid. We're saying gender isn't permanent - it's mutable. You can f*** with it. You can queer it up real good." I share that because Kate lays it out beautifully, gender is fluid, things can change throughout one's life. Just because you did not have an experience from a very young age on does not make your feelings of your gender identity any less valid, if that makes sense. Continue to be you, do things that bring positivity and joy in your life. Soul searching can be incredibly hard, confusing and overwhelming at times, but you're never alone in your thoughts. There are a whole bunch of people out there that would want to show you support and love through whatever life brings, I can promise that. Mad love.
@Oliver-yc5fi
7 жыл бұрын
hm.moonshine90 Thx. Truthfully I only saw your reply because I came back to maybe delete the comment but I'm just gonna leave it now. I'm getting my hair cut on the 2nd so that's good. Thank you again for your reply.
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