Having watched our recent parodies age so quickly into irrelevance, we decided to throw down for one last take on the political crisis that is gripping the UK at the moment. And to sing not about people but about the process that is failing to give us stability at the heart of government.
So here is our half-term version of “Gee, Officer Krupke” - an absolute favourite of ours from Leonard Bernstein’s magnificent West Side Story (1957) with original lyrics by Stephen Sondheim. Instead of singing about the trials of juvenile delinquents in New York, we are singing about the system of bringing down a Prime Minister and then appointing a new one according to the Conservative Party - which relies on a rather opaque process determined by the 1922 Committee of backbench MPs (chaired by Sir Graham Brady). MPs submit letters of no confidence in the leader, which then prompts a nomination process for new leaders (which we’re in the middle of now), followed by a ballot of a small number (less than 0.1%) of the population who are Party members and who often differ in their preferences from the Parliamentary factions.
Like West Side Story, in late Tory leadership shenanigans there have been elements of love, betrayal, back-stabbings, gang warfare, and criminal behaviour. But unfortunately in this real-world version we’ve tended to end up with scraping the barrel of talent and integrity rather than any sense of learning from mistakes and tragedies.
And in case you think this is a party-political bias, then here’s how the Conservative MP Charles Walker accurately characterised the situation this week: www.independen.... We will happily dish it out to the other side if they plumb similar depths in our eyes.
Having made as clear a plea as we could for a general election to allow the whole population to have a say, we’ll be leaving politics aside for a while.
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Thanks as ever to the people who support our musical antics through Patreon (where you can see extras like out-takes and podcasts): / marshfamilysongs Do join us there, or just leave a tip at our tip jar at: paypal.me/mars....
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LYRICS:
Dear kindly Graham Brady, you gotta understand
Mistrust about us MPs is getting out of hand
They see us all as flunkies
Or predators or drunks
Start the process: something must be done!
See, Sir Graham Brady, we're very upset
We never had the leader that we thought we should get
We ain’t all delinquents
Just misunderstood
Please can you find us someone good!
Someone good?!
Someone good, someone good for our livelihoods!
Like decide, which one of us is good!
[Assemble the MPs who are Tory!
Not the rest of the world?
Just a few of us will judge…]
Dear kindly Tory MPs
My upbringing was rough
I started from the gutter
That private school was tough
You didn't wanna have me
But somehow I am back
Healing fissures in the Party’s crack!
Conservative MPs, I really do care
And if I get your pledge, you get a Cabinet chair!
Liz Truss was atrocious, I’m better than her
They’re, like, absurdly self-absorbed
Self-absorbed!
Self-absorbed, self-absorbed!
They’re the most disturbed
Like they’re psychologically disturbed!
[Hear ye, Hear ye, in the opinion of this made-up process
These candidates will go forward to the Members’ vote online
Hey, it’s depraved on account of it’s contrived!]
Her Daddy was a commie,
His Mum was SDP,
I nearly joined the army,
I own a company.
I’ve got a three-word slogan,
I’m wearing Thatcher’s dress!
Cardboard cut outs - why we’re in a mess!
Yes! Sir Graham Brady, we shouldn't be here.
Just squabbling because they all have second careers
Society pays them, they get quite a fee
No real accountability!
Don’t you see?
Hefty fee, unattached to ability
Like they’re sociopath celebrities!
[In my opinion, this process does not seem fair at all!
Prime Ministerial selection is purely for Party Grandees
Hey, I won the ballot with ease!
So take him to the civil servants. Which way? That way!]
Dear kindly Civil Servants
You’d better do your job
I’ll need some wonder workers
To bully, blame and shop
We’ve started having sweepstakes
He’s hardly Edmund Burke
Tory Party! Stop sending us jerks!
Um, Sir Graham Brady, we’re writing again
This boy can’t do the job
We need another PM
It ain’t just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him he’s not good!
I'm no good!
We're no good, we're no good, we're no earthly good
Like the rest of us is no damn good
The trouble was with Cameron
The trouble was with May
The trouble was with Johnson
The trouble’s back again!
The last one’s barely going
The next one overthrown
MPs: we've got troubles of our own!
Gee, Sir Graham Brady, we're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a country run by useless MPs
Gee Sir Graham Brady, what are we to do?
Let’s have an election - real soon!
Негізгі бет "Gee, Sir Graham Brady" - Marsh Family adaptation of "Gee, Officer Krupke" from West Side Story
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