This is so insightful as a woman too. Loved your points because there’s a lot of truth behind it and it resonates.
@mattemenheiser6911
Жыл бұрын
Thank you, great stuff here. Taking responsibility for her sense of well being... i do this. Step 1 scan room, step 2 everyone's happiness is my responsibility. Shapeshift rather than check in and know what di I want. Please do a video on extremely verbal women, which feels to me like repetitive complaining and honestly is hard for me to be around comfortably.
@redefiningthemodernman
Жыл бұрын
I feel like this boils down the the principle of polarity or at least that is how I understand it. In order for us to experience happiness, we must know the experience of suffering and in order for women to appreciate us, they must also be disappointed in us. I have found that when a partner show’s disappointment in me, it serves as a positive trigger for me to look inward to see if I’m living out of alignment with my values, if I’m not behaving from integrity or if I’m just plainly not being considerate. If I am out of alignment, I will own my shit. A lot of times their dissatisfaction is a result of their own expectations and unwillingness to communicate needs in my experience
@Ruben-bl9ti
11 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. This is exactly what I wish I had known during my last relationship. But then again I wasn’t ready and aligned enough to be able to truly digest it and apply it. Now was a great time for me to revisit this idea and assimilate it for good. Thank you :)
@nickarhakos8723
6 ай бұрын
Totally feel the same way. I was doing this unconsciously before the relationship but had no idea how to keep it up. Ended up ruining the relationship by wanting to do nothing but please her. A good lesson to learn at a young age, glad I'm aware now
@saras.2173
4 күн бұрын
I told a man that something he had done disappointed me. He apologized but then never spoke to me again. I was totally willing to forgive and work it out so we could move on. But the way he just shut down and wouldn’t communicate after that told me volumes more about what our actual problems would be if we were to develop the relationship further. While I liked him and it made me sad to walk away, I knew I had to because, what am I going to do…fight for a man who’s not even talking to me? Is THAT kind of man going to have what it takes to make me happy in the long run? He was so focused on having a flaw-free performance that he wasn’t relating to me on a human-to-human level. He would avoid conflict and important conversations to spare his ego, even if it meant losing me. I didn’t feel valued. A man who has enough self-confidence to be able to still think well of himself and know that he’s loveable and good even when one of his flaws is being noticed is grounded, mature, and stable enough to be a good long-term partner. A man who needs me to be happy 100% of the time so that he can have it reflected back to him that he is good, is running on ego and not love.
@jakemason4801
Жыл бұрын
As someone who never stood up for himself and just started building resentment, standing up for myself and "pushing back" occasionally went a long way. Saying no the first few times is scary but it gets easier.
@scromfo
7 ай бұрын
Goddamnit this makes no sense! Anytime i i disappoint her by neing busy taking care of myself or not doing something immediately for her, she creates tension and blames it on me. i cant get it right all the time but there's gotta be a way to be confident and have self-respect without allowing her to wear me out to the point where i cant give her the attention she is begging for. Theres gotta be a way to make compromises where both persons needs are met but anytime i try, it just results in fighting or distanace; aand she finds a way to say im more selfish than her
@tobiasvater5372
Жыл бұрын
I had a very interesting thought that I would like to hear your opinion on: I feel like I as a man also want my woman to sometimes be disappointed in me, angry at me, not okay with me. I'm coming out of a 2 year relationship right now, and what I am realizing now more than even during the relationship is, that my girlfriend almost never had any complaints with me. She (superficially) was okay with almost everything I did and say, and that actually made me very insecurely because I felt like she wasn't completely authentic with me 🤔 So in a way this goes not just for men, but for everyone, we need a partner who is able to engage in conflict and tension, when necessary, so we can trust the calmness and love when it's there? Would love to hear your thoughts:)
@aalvarez305
Жыл бұрын
This concept is so freeing.
@thomasalbers6102
Жыл бұрын
That’s exactly, what happened in my relationship. Now, we have a hierarchy with her in top.
@bigspence6898
11 ай бұрын
There’s freedom in gifting her a tough decision
@doktor3196
Жыл бұрын
Men were put here to be disapproved and still find a way to disprove them anyway
@briattnybrittany6843
4 ай бұрын
what kind of women are y'all encountering? those aren't women. those are brats. saying no isn't disappointing. serious things like dishonesty and disrespect are disappointing.
@Mart-Bro
Жыл бұрын
Good stuff
@doubleslit3389
Ай бұрын
No more games for me brothers.
@NeilRaouf
2 ай бұрын
spot on ❤
@KayFlowidity
10 ай бұрын
4:00 👌👌👌 6:00 Ultimate Test
@gerardo8027
3 ай бұрын
stuborness let us know that we have to be so calm to learn from it.
@you-vi2tm
11 ай бұрын
When my partner has said he will call me between 9-10pm and there is still no phone call 11 pm: I feel disappointed. When I told this to him, he said this is making him to end the relationship. Yea. No tolerance, no accountability.
@tcggggg
5 ай бұрын
That is crazy
@buckyrx7
Жыл бұрын
It all comes down to maintaining "frame". Be willing to compromise every now and then, but if your wife/girlfriend/woman you're seeing wants you to do something with her that you don't feel like doing, it's okay to say no. If you always like the same things as your partner and always do the same things together, it can get stale and boring. It's good to be your authentic, individual selves, it makes things interesting in a relationship. Connor, what do you think about the phrase "happy wife, happy life"? Do you agree or disagree?
@RohunTripati
Жыл бұрын
On happy wife Happy Life - kzitem.info/news/bejne/wI99z36sr4mjano
@PhilipTheHunter
6 ай бұрын
I find it so hard to do this in the beginning of a relationship, I just want to spend a lot of time with her in the beginning of a relationship, not that I'll things I don't really want to, but I don't really mind, after I get grounded in a relationship I have no problem saying no, but that seems to be confusing then to a lot of women, I even told someone that before hand, it would change and I would get back to my own things, she didn't like or got that at all.
@tcggggg
5 ай бұрын
Dont screw up the honeymoon phase i think this is for when things are settled
@gregorylatta8159
8 күн бұрын
Have any expectations of a woman is setting yourself up for a fall.
@charlesstanford1310
Жыл бұрын
4:50. She doesn't want that total control? In a way, she does... but the part of her that wants that is a base appetite, not her higher, more virtuous self. Giving in to her bids for emotional manipulation on the surface level - bending over backwards to placate her mood in the moment - is like indulging an addict. She should not want to be an addict, so her frustration at having her base appetites indulged is a sign of her moral sense. This is particularly important for men who are more tender-hearted and sensitive. *Never* allow yourself to believe that if a woman claims to want or appreciate a tender-hearted, sensitive man, that this means she is willing or able to let you just "be yourself" and take onto herself the role of guarding your soft, un-masculine heart. Even if - _especially_ if - she parrots propaganda about how men should be more vulnerable or about redefining masculinity or honoring gender-nonconformity - she will despise you for your weakness and servility. For normal men, the advice in this video agrees pretty well with being more authentic. For us sensitive weirdoes, it means approaching heterosexual pairings with more cold calculation and performance, even hardening our hearts a little bit.
@peteradelhardt3742
Жыл бұрын
I think the advice applies to us sensitive weirdos, as well. No, especially to us. If you're sensitive, you hopefully are more in touch with your emotions and needs. At the same time, being sensitive should not mean that you're always a pushover and fold when facing any kind of conflict or confrontation. Expressing the needs can be really, really hard. It's a very important life skill. And coming from a place where we learned to please other people, it is difficult to even identify and name your own needs, much more so standing up for them. That's our work. Hardening the heart will not lead to a life we want to lead. There are women out there who can appreciate a sensitive man but it's our job to come to a place of sensitive masculinity: I am sensitive and I still deserve respect. I can stand my ground on the things that matter to me. If a partner cannot respect your boundaries, handle any kind of rejection, they have work to do as well.
@charlesstanford1310
Жыл бұрын
@@peteradelhardt3742 Maybe I need to use clearer words. Identifying and naming my own needs (and that requires specifying what those needs are *for* which means understanding levels of need as well as who has the responsibility of meeting them - by default I'm responsible) is my own business. The cold calculation, the "hardening of the heart" (unfortunate choice of words I guess) is putting up the right protective barriers, or boundaries: again, minding my own business of knowing myself and dealing with my own sensitivity, keeping it private and understanding what to share and what *not* to share. That means learning how to say "no" in a calm and firm way instead of annoying a woman with a lot of unnecessary talk about my own feelings. The Romantic cultural movement of 18th century western Europe tried to exalt sensitive weirdoes, and holds out a hope that we can find an intimate connection with a soulmate as part and parcel of a permanent heterosexual pairing. I've lost faith in that and now see it as a dangerous deception.
@georgerodriguez2987
Жыл бұрын
Their partner ?
@alfrednube
Жыл бұрын
I uncoupled too much and I left the couple 😂
@Mart-Bro
Жыл бұрын
That's definitely a problem too lol
@lilfairycupcake
Жыл бұрын
ive been doing this since day one, forever ago. never expect anything from them except bs, and sh it testing. just expect them to cheat on you, because they will, every time.
@samuelsackey3976
Жыл бұрын
as a man, to be good, you have to be capable of evil
@DeltaTempest
10 ай бұрын
I hate that I spiraled when it happened to me. i had no emotional control
@Taobeth
9 күн бұрын
Thank you
@JDoggNation
10 ай бұрын
When you feel safe with a Woman and there is trust, space and freedom, the disappointments can be taken for self reflection. When you don't have those important factors, her disappointments can turn into defensiveness and resentments. If a Woman is going to complain and be disappointed, she needs to be sure it's not coming from her own insecurities, assumptions and stories.
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