I've always had tokophobia and a general dislike of kids. I made a deal with myself at a young age that the earliest I would get any kind of sterilization procedure was 25, and before that, I would never have sex, even if I was in a committed relationship, even if I was married. People always talk about how it will "ruin your life" and "you'll regret it" but no one talks about the distress of living with childbearing capabilities when you absolutely under no circumstances want to be pregnant or have a child. I'm 22 now and I'm so relieved to finally be in the home stretch of fulfilling the promise I made to myself, still sure I want it after 10+ years of research and thought. I love videos like this offering advice that doesn't shut people down, I've switched my goals from full hysto to partial hysto to tubal ligation that cuts the tubes after learning about possible hormone changes with hystos and none of those changes were made because of people being rude and dismissive about my reproductive choices, they were made because of educational content like this.
@DMV8662
10 ай бұрын
You need a psychiatrist NEVER MIND..🙄
@LasPhoenix777
10 ай бұрын
Heal your mother wound 💔
@reneecaballero9624
10 ай бұрын
Please check the laws in your state because a lot of states you have to have to have 2 biological children before they will do it. It's a crazy law, and because of this law i ended up pregnant 3yrs in a row with 4 babies. (twins) I tried several different forms of birth control and none of them worked for me. Even had a condom break . The universe REALLY wanted me to have kids . 😂
@Kendra_KG
8 ай бұрын
I was determine to get my tubes tied and went through three doctors until I met one who agreed and was willing to perform the procedure. I 1000% stand by being your own advocate. Do not take no for answer when it comes to your health.
@jeremiahmcewan6281
Жыл бұрын
After our second child my wife wanted her tubes tied. Her OBGYN, male, looked at me and asked if it was ok. I was like uhm she wants it so why are you asking me? Just for the record we had discussed it with each other beforehand, we just thought it was super weird that he was asking my permission to do this to my wife.
@roseg1333
Жыл бұрын
He might have been asking your opinion some men can have no opinion on the matter when it is a joint decision (That is what It means to be married his body belongs to you and your body belongs to her it’s biblical) to make.
@blueeyedbatman
Жыл бұрын
@@roseg1333in the end it's her body and her choice. You don't get to deny her a medical procedure because her husband doesn't want it done - he's not her father, guardian, or keeper. 🤡 A doctor, especially an OBGYN, should assume that either they've talked about it already or its not his choice to make and he understands that.
@projectpenwing
Жыл бұрын
@@blueeyedbatman THIS!
@daniellelm3
Жыл бұрын
Probably cause you shoulda got snipped instead
@HeatherGrace
Жыл бұрын
It's a legal requirement in some states. In CT you need your husband's consent, and if you're not married, you need your FATHER'S consent. They need to go to the OB/Gyn to sign the legal documents. So... he may have needed legal ok from the husband. Bullshit law imo
@HeatherGrace
Жыл бұрын
I had to get my husband's or father's permission - a signature on a legal document saying they were allowing it. My Dr watched my forge my husband's signature at 40 and we both thought the law was awful
@ravenwilkens2122
11 ай бұрын
YALL. As a woman with endometriosis I went to my OBGYN saying hey look I’d like to remove the problem, which sure I get is a little more invasive than just tying tubes. But it was for medical purposes as my periods last months and the cramps are so severe I basically live in the bathroom throwing up because I can’t move. Okay, so any logical person would think alright there is huge cons and pros to either decision, right? No. This woman told me I needed to have two children before she would consider it. TWO CHILDREN. MY BODY CANNOT CARRY A CHILD WHAT DO YOU MEAN. That was straight up her only argument was that I would regret it and I might disappoint a future husband. I never went back to that woman.
@kaycguide
11 ай бұрын
I don’t have children but some of my friends do. In Arkansas, you have to at least have 2 children (I think) and/or get your husband’s signature which is just mind blowing to me. The south is definitely a Bible Belt and something needs to change around here
@vortexwriting1026
10 ай бұрын
It isn't a law it's just sucky healthcare
@missd9488
10 ай бұрын
I had a hysterectomy at 24. I'm now 35 and wish they had never let me do it. To young. Your frontel cortexisnt even developed till your 25. 30 should be the age limit.
@vortexwriting1026
10 ай бұрын
@@missd9488 just because you regret something doesn't mean others will, by your logic we shouldn't allow people to have children till 30 either since that is also a permanent decision
@conniemcintire2260
Жыл бұрын
A friend of mine had 3 children by the age of 22. She was told not to have any more children for health reasonsBUT he would not tie her tubes as she was too young. She went to her sisters ob/gyn and had them done 2 weeks later. I asked my ob/gyn to tie my tunes ever year from the time I was 23 until I was.32. He finally said he would send me to his associate and he did it 2 weeks later. It was because he was a very devout Catholic. He didn't tell me that but a friend told me why. I had never had children either. And I have never regretted it either. Listen to this Dr.
@jen-a-purr
Жыл бұрын
Had my tubes tied at 23 and my dr, a man, told my family he didn’t want to do it. But told my MIL that he did it after my C/Section was done. I had a girl in 2004 & a boy in 2006 & that’s all we wanted or needed. Then had an NovaSure procedure at 38 for horrid periods and pain and loving it!!!
@carolinepankey21
Жыл бұрын
That’s a really cute outfit
@88_l
Жыл бұрын
thank you so much for making this!!!
@kelsys2512
11 ай бұрын
Theres a PDF list of doctors in the US that will do the procedure without a fight.
@thunderlikesu
11 ай бұрын
where can i find the pdf omg that would be soooo helpful??
@kelsys2512
11 ай бұрын
@@thunderlikesuI will try to post it here!
@thunderlikesu
11 ай бұрын
@@kelsys2512 okay thank you 🙏🙏
@Jennifer-gr7hn
10 ай бұрын
of course no fight...they get incentives! hahah
@Death_Siren13
Жыл бұрын
Quick question, Is it possible to get pregnant at 45? My period stopped about 2 months ago so I “believe” I may be in menopause :/
@naddee19
Жыл бұрын
Yes it totally is possible to get pregnant at 45!!
@blueeyedbatman
Жыл бұрын
You're 45 and don't know about how your body works.....? Get off of social media and read something factual and productive. Yes it is possible for someone even older than 45 to get pregnant, and they can potentially even carry to term. Just like it's possible for someone in their early 30s to go in to menopause. If you think you could be experiencing either, why are you asking some lady on KZitem instead of buying a pregnancy test or making a doctors appointment?? 🙃
@sherierichards2368
Жыл бұрын
Geriatric pregnancies are known but risky 🙂
@livingwithbipolar2
Жыл бұрын
Perimenopause can last for several years. You aren't in menopause until you've been without a mentrual cycle for 12 CONSECUTIVE months.
@user-xp3gz2sf4f
Жыл бұрын
See a Dr. About hormones and other issues. A 60 year old woman had a baby for her daughter and son in law after the daughter couldn't carry it.
@floridaexplorer6530
10 ай бұрын
I have worked with many OB GYN docs. Mine was the best of the best at JMH UNIV OF MIAMI. I was truly lucky. You are a Gem and are definitely one of the chosen.
@jenna_maria
11 ай бұрын
I’ve always wondered why doctors would prefer a woman to be >30 with multiple children for that. Isn’t it much more useful for young women who already know they will remain childfree? Rather than for the average nuclear family wife who has already had the pain of birthing 2+ children whose husband is simply too chicken to do HIS much less invasive part.
@tanyelosilade
11 ай бұрын
I’m remember when I was an L&D nurse, the patients had to be 21 with at least 2 kids in order for the doctors to tie their tubes.
@madhatter239
11 ай бұрын
I love your outfit!!
@mrsroseblack9310
Жыл бұрын
I had it done at 24, 1 day after having my daughter and I had a 3.5 YO son also. I was DONE being pregnant. 7 years later regret set in. I’m still regretting it almost 13 years later… wish I had done the copper IUD…
@jernisharichard5032
Жыл бұрын
Right so sorry people don't feel the same 5yrs 1/yrs or 15 yrs later and they should not be done because of this,just get something that can help more than hurt down the line i met plenty of people some are my friends that regretted getting it down, I wanted it done as well after my 4 th 😅 but when i thunk now how 2 more did not hurt 😮 i love my daughter and baby boy 😽. Also i lost one.... I did at that time want it but I'm soo happy i didn't get it. ❤❤❤
@seeriousli8169
11 ай бұрын
sometimes we regret our choices and thats fine, but we should still have the choice
@Username0467
11 ай бұрын
Some people regret having children too. Such is life.
@Elizabeth-ladybug22
11 ай бұрын
I mean I understand the grief but atleast you have one boy and one girl ❤some people can't even have kids,or regret having kids.
@jenna_maria
11 ай бұрын
If the “only” issue is your tubes being tied, you can still get pregnant through IVF if you want to. (Not trying to take away from your sorrow)
@sherierichards2368
Жыл бұрын
I’m 25 with kids and no one will tie my tubes cause “I might change my mind” but know I won’t cause of trauma 🙃 what happened to my body my choice 🤷🏼♀️
@livingwithbipolar2
Жыл бұрын
That doesn't exist in the US. Female body= male decisions.😡🤢
@lauraeaton5414
Жыл бұрын
I had endometriosis so i begged for a hysterectomy early on. After 8 miscarriages and 4 laparoscopy surgeries i finally got it at 36. My endometriosis gave me a poor quality of life before my surgery.
@badger313
10 ай бұрын
My sister in law desperately wants hysterectomy because of endometriosis. She had her tubes tied after she was done having kids but they will not do a hysterectomy until she's over 40. She's got 2 months to go & she's literally counting the days
@lauraeaton5414
10 ай бұрын
I was able to get my surgery when I was 36. After 8 miscarriages and tge pain I was in my dr knew I was done with all that I went through. I also was having heavy periods that were almost every week. He and my husband knew I was done. I needed pain meds almost constantly due to the pain I had. I was so thankful. I also had a chocolate cyst on my right ovary. When they biopsied my uterus they found a small spot of cervical cancer. I am one woman who admits that my endometriosis accurately saved me from very invasive treatments for the cancer.
@JGold-oy2dr
Жыл бұрын
I’m 30 weeks and experience little jolts… they feel a bit diff then her kicks and can even make my shoulders move. Is this crazy?
@potato1084
11 ай бұрын
Regular jolts?? I get those when baby has hiccups. I thought it was a pulse at first 😂
@JGold-oy2dr
11 ай бұрын
@@potato1084 lol, I’ve come to learn it’s my body trying to fall asleep and then jolting back awake… dr says it’s like half sleep (not fully resting). Yippee. And yeah she’s also doing full on kickboxing to boot. Much love!
@bratattak1387
Жыл бұрын
My OB even tried to trick me out of it asking me "if you were to have another baby would you want a boy or a girl?" And if I had answered either they prob would have denied me but instead I said neither I'm done 👌 I just wish they would have taken the uterus I did not want it anymore.
@loudemopsychic
Жыл бұрын
Damn that's so manipulative! I'm so sorry that happened to you, you didn't deserve that.
@shawnaaustin3396
Жыл бұрын
My tubal ligation was the biggest mistake ever! It caused post tubal ligation syndrome which ruined my life and I had to end up getting a hysterectomy because my insurance would pay for that but not for a reversal. Doctors won’t tell you about PTLS. It’s horrible!!!
@angleblu7327
Жыл бұрын
ALL surgeries and medical procedures come with risks. You weren’t forced into that surgery. Sounds like you should have educated yourself before making such a decision.
@ttttttttp2
Жыл бұрын
@@angleblu7327 You are very unnecessarily rude to someone whos gone through a traumatic experience. Let all women's voices be heard, not just women you want to hear from. 🙄
@angleblu7327
Жыл бұрын
@@ttttttttp2 that wasn’t rude. Simply pointing out a fact.
@danieljordan2442
Жыл бұрын
This is why she advocates asking thorough questions when going for a procedure. Not blaming you but def not blaming doctors for that either. Glad you were able to get covered by insurance in the end.
@shawnaaustin3396
Жыл бұрын
@@danieljordan2442 I did ask questions and the doctors assured me that there was absolutely no adverse effects in TL’s. They lied.
@obnoxiousME
4 ай бұрын
I know you have a valid point here and there's a lot of pros and cons into this. However how you've said is throwing a lot of your colleagues under the bus and cause distrust to health care professions amongst the public. Empowering patients is important but in order to do that you need to present all the information before making your conclusion ie pros and cons of sterilisation and talking about alternatives. If you're going to use this platform to do that, do it right. If not, you're causing more harm than good
@blueeyedbatman
Жыл бұрын
Thank you!!! My best friend went to college with a girl who wanted to get hers tied. She had a terrible upbringing and never wanted children. That feeling stayed with her through adulthood, but doctors wouldn't tie her tubes because they thought she might change her mind.... 😒 well she unfortunately ended up pregnant and the foster care system recieved another little angel. As soon as she hit 30 she got it done. I had tried to tell her when we were 21/22 that she needed to find a different doctor because that didn't sound right. Apparently I was correct. Haha
@crystalscottpr8179
7 ай бұрын
I wanted to have my tubes tied after having my first child I was 17 and Turned 18 the next Month....they didn't let me get my tubes tied...here I am having my 4th child at 30😅😢 if I had though i wouldn't have my amazing son and second daughter
@lindsaygraham9115
5 күн бұрын
I had 3 kids by 28 and had my tubes tied with no issues. I think I just had to sign something.
@mariahermana
Жыл бұрын
I have a question, can you revert this?
@blueeyedbatman
Жыл бұрын
Yes but there can be complications and potentially leave you barren. That why they recommend vasectomies over tubes being tied. Vasectomies are simple procedures that can be recovered from in literally a day or two, and are easily reversed. Getting your tubes tied is an invasive procedure that takes alot for your body to heal and isn't easily reversible. Not to mention the cost is insanely different and tube tying isn't usually covered by insurance [or is minimally covered because it's considered an unnecessary procedure].
@liatm3042
Жыл бұрын
@@blueeyedbatman also, both vasectomies and tubal ligations have about the same reversal success rate (about 50%). Personally, I would say you shouldn't go into either of these thinking it's a reversible procedure.
@rickjames553
Жыл бұрын
@liatm3042 insurance won't pay for it. So unless you have the cash for the procedure, it can't be reversed.
@Jennifer-gr7hn
10 ай бұрын
yes..real "empowerment" is sharing ALL the options...which she doesn't.
@liatm3042
10 ай бұрын
@@Jennifer-gr7hn well, we don't know what she actually says to her patients. Obviously there are many options to be considered, including things like freezing some eggs just to be on the safe side.
@Ammiller5
Жыл бұрын
Got my bisalp approved at 28 and done at 29
@kla.louise
11 ай бұрын
I wanted to have that done after my second son but my doctor's wouldn't even consider it bc i was 19 so they did an iud. I had my first born at 16... 33 now and still never have had it done but i haven't had any more children so far. Still would consider it but i haven't had health insurance for many years.
@Nikole_Raven
Жыл бұрын
So what about when they say you need to already gave had at least one child and be over 26 and forget it if you're married and you need husband's permission. Because that is the case with a lot of women, I've heard.
@blessedbeyondmeasure3265
Жыл бұрын
Can you get it undone?
@sjohnston725
Жыл бұрын
It is reversible when you've had bands or clamps. And, a small amount of cases where the fallopian tubes have been cauterized, have fused back together on their own. It costs alot of money to reverse. I got clamps at 30, now at 40 I regret my decision
@martitasiete7
Жыл бұрын
Wish I would have known sooner or maybe at that time
@s.sflower
Жыл бұрын
How old are you? 😊
@kaihenn3270
Жыл бұрын
26 got my tubes tied
@user-qe4ob6er1r
11 ай бұрын
That’s what happens to my sister they said she had to be 30 to even have the procedure.😞
@keepitsimple2593
Жыл бұрын
I'm in Ohio here at least in the experiences I know of they will not do it unless you're over twenty-five or have two kids already
@penthehuman
11 ай бұрын
slay
@missd9488
10 ай бұрын
As i was 21 when they tied my tubes, im now 35 and wish they would have never allowed it in anyone under 30.
@richelle156
Жыл бұрын
Love the fit honey
@mki_kitlof
Жыл бұрын
Hope you see this! I was 29 having my second child and THANK GOD i work as a nurse and paid close attention to the order form i was signing. They had Csection AND tubal ligation ordered on there, the nurse on night shift, the nurse on day shift, the doctor etc, not one of them knew where that order came from. It was never discussed as being a thing for me in any of the 9 months prior to that procedure. And im willing to bet no one would have asked me about it and would have just started cutting my tubes! Do you have any idea where that order could have come from? Could someone at the hospital just added it for shits and giggles or some kind of discrimination against me because id have 2 babies in 13 months on that unit?
@LasPhoenix777
10 ай бұрын
Well that’s awful. Perhaps they don’t want to do it because they feel it’s unethical. Yeah, definitely find another provider one that has the ethics that allows them to do this.
@roseg1333
Жыл бұрын
I think it might be a good idea to wait till your around 30 or a little older especially if you’re single because you could totally change your mind after 30 that is what happened to me. It’s better to wait for a just in case then remove and regret and not be able to undo your situation.
@blueeyedbatman
Жыл бұрын
Thats horrible and vague advice. "You might change your mind" is the reason the doctors gave my friend for not tying her tubes. She NEVER wanted kids and wanted the surgery as soon as she found out about it [as a teenager]. At 21 she went to a doctor and got the aforementioned reasoning for refusing the surgery. At 29 she got pregnant and guess what - she still didn't want to be a mother. So another baby went straight in to the system. Especially with abortion being such a back and fourth issue right now, advising women who don't want children against this procedure isn't a good idea.
@VickyMouseWDW
Жыл бұрын
Yeah but it’s still not a good idea to jump into this. You never know if after a few years you may decide you want to have kids even though you thought you didn’t. Better to use birth control than to have an irreversible surgery.
@Nnnnnnnn426
Жыл бұрын
You can reverse it.
@alirodmd
Жыл бұрын
Actually, can't always reverse it. Especially if it's a salpingectomy
@blueeyedbatman
Жыл бұрын
Or its better for you not to give medical advice to women you don't even know. 🤡 the reasoning you just gave was the reasoning my friends doctor gave her at 21 for not doing this surgery. She explained that she had never wanted kids and doesn't even like kids. She told him how sure she was and he still denied it because he thought she would change her mind. Well at 29 she got pregnant and STILL didn't want to be a mom. So her baby was put directly in to the system. At 30 she found a doctor who would perform the surgery and she's never been happier. She has zero regrets about it and is happy that she doesn't have to worry about bringing another child in to this world who isn't wanted by their birth parents. She had to go through the trauma of pregnancy and child birth, and therapy afterwards all because a man thought she might change her mind....don't give medical or important life advice to people you know nothing about.
@Nnnnnnnn426
Жыл бұрын
@@blueeyedbatman I actually get both sides. I feel bad that was your friend experience. There are some women who regret it and some that don’t. Which is why I feel this lady comment to try both control instead of the surgery. I don’t agree with doctors shroud lie to women and say that they have the right to deny women the surgery.
@Nnnnnnnn426
Жыл бұрын
@@alirodmd I didn’t know that. I was told if you got your tubes tied and burned. Thank you for the info. Do you recommend I get my tubes tied due to have two c sections and I am currently pregnant with twins praying I have a natural delivery but if I have a third is it best to tie your tubes.
@DMV8662
10 ай бұрын
I disagree... Doctors say that FROM EXPERIENCE of their patients having REGRETS!!! It comes from THE EXPERIENCE which YOU DONT HAVE YET.... The older docs know what they're doing!!!!
@user-xp3gz2sf4f
Жыл бұрын
Plenty of women regret it too.
@CaitlinVanderlip
Жыл бұрын
What is a good reason for someone under 30 to get their tubes tied?
@Cfkl1
Жыл бұрын
Because they want to.
@CaitlinVanderlip
Жыл бұрын
@@Cfkl1 that’s the worst reason… you think people don’t change their minds?
@artgoing
Жыл бұрын
@@CaitlinVanderlip Endometriosis. And the fact not everyone wants kids.
@CaitlinVanderlip
Жыл бұрын
@@artgoing medical reasons I can see. But just out of want? That’s extreme. There’s other forms of birth control. Why should it be allowed for someone so young to make a life altering decision? I just can’t see in any scenario how that would play out nicely. Sure maybe you’ve had a few kids then get your tubes tied…. (Which I still think is crazy personally) but without having kids? Under 30? Youre bound to change your mind. There’s other forms of birth control.
@tyrajenkins6135
Жыл бұрын
@@CaitlinVanderlip you realize not everyone thinks like you or shares your same wants right? Getting your tubes tied might be a choice a woman makes because she doesn't want to subject herself to toxics and overloading her body with hormones to not get pregnant.
@chelseacraig8025
11 ай бұрын
I totally wish somebody would’ve told me I couldn’t do it until 30. I did it at 27 and I’m devastated. I would love to have another baby.
@Jennifer-gr7hn
10 ай бұрын
I'm sorry you went through that. If this was really pro woman, she'd tell the other side too...where to go to reverse it. She's working for 'some one else.' Prayers...reversal happens ALL the time.
@chelseacraig8025
9 ай бұрын
Thank you its just so expensive and its a very intense recovery I think I was told you have to be in the hospital for a few days after and thats just a lot 😭😕
@srugge
Жыл бұрын
Why would you want to go against GODs will of being fruitful and multiply by tying your tubes ladies do not be fooled but imbrace GODS will be done
@giseleb7807
Жыл бұрын
Crazy christian
@rockercaterrorencountered4924
11 ай бұрын
You really think God is weak enough that anything we do to our bodies can stop His plan? If God wants someone who's had a tubal ligation to have a baby He'll make it happen.
@Jennifer-gr7hn
10 ай бұрын
judgmental. Where is the "tolerance?"....@@giseleb7807
@Jennifer-gr7hn
10 ай бұрын
I understand peoples' fears...totally do....and this doctor is not 'empowering' the natural way. Creighton Model and NaPro. More doctors than NOT, do this. They are paid to chop the population. She's acting like it's hard to find...it's harder to find those who don't! It's so unhealthy too. Tubal ligation syndrome --> hysterectomy --> reproductive cancers-- > depression. A MESS
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