Jesus lost his winning streak filming this C C C COMBO BREAKER
@ScottishPEACEguy
4 жыл бұрын
They aren't phones, why do people still call them phones? so stupid.
@HalfEvilTripl3
8 жыл бұрын
please make an, "If Jeffery Became God." I think it would be a very interesting video.
@giftapfel
8 жыл бұрын
Great idea
@tozmarauders4187
8 жыл бұрын
That's a great idea. Can I repost it? I'll credit you
@HalfEvilTripl3
8 жыл бұрын
Go ahead dude! anything to get the idea more known!
@shamel8807
8 жыл бұрын
Omfg please yessss
@Zalzo
8 жыл бұрын
that would be awesome.
@helloitsmax7
9 жыл бұрын
Was this filmed with a potato? Seriously, jesus?
@jesusherbertchrist3304
9 жыл бұрын
Yes, yes it was.
@ZobmieRules
9 жыл бұрын
+Jesus Herbert Christ Come on, man. You're supposed to be sinless. Vertical video? That's a sin.
@SapientGalaxy
9 жыл бұрын
+Max Sandefer It was filmed on a red one. That was obvious I thought.
@subwoofer222
9 жыл бұрын
+Cantankerous crotchety Ol' Man Yes, red one potatoes are indistinguishable from normal potatoes, in that they even shoot artifact laden VERTICAL VIDEO!
@Qermaq
9 жыл бұрын
+Max Sandefer A NEW potato. Picked before fully ripe. It's skin is as thin as gossimer, but it ain't got no resolution.
@Dorianin1
8 жыл бұрын
On the foreskin thing, I would note that the king in question only requested a hundred. David was a go-getter.
@clementnade972
6 жыл бұрын
Drosta Dorianin He was getting the hung of it.
@mwthatreallyblows
5 жыл бұрын
😂
@misterspiderthemagnificent9268
4 жыл бұрын
The king requested a hundred too many
@nedson6503
3 жыл бұрын
I'm going to find this and put it into an inspirational Bible passage video.
@coopertownsend1371
2 жыл бұрын
Yes as if that makes it any less ridiculous
@ValenWarden
9 жыл бұрын
I was about to say "Whoever is filming vertically should be nailed to a cross" until Jeffery pointed it out :P
@dogsteeves1
9 жыл бұрын
+Valen Warden He did get nailed to a cross
@ValenWarden
9 жыл бұрын
William Steeves Thanks for explaining the joke...
@newperve
9 жыл бұрын
+비니보이 You don't need to hammer home the point.
@thomasjensen9745
9 жыл бұрын
+Michael Price Exactly!! That's what we got Thor for!!
@dsharkyo
9 жыл бұрын
+Thomas Jensen you ruined it. I'm very cross with you.
@somebody759
8 жыл бұрын
I was about to say "Whoever is filming vertically should be nailed to a cross" until Jeffery pointed it out :P
@HumanNature9870
8 жыл бұрын
VOTE Jeffrey as God
@TheDragonshadow1231
7 жыл бұрын
Jeffrey as angel. or what happen or who running God xD
@cookiecutter6735
7 жыл бұрын
brandon caruso says who?
@IAmTheLord3
7 жыл бұрын
Hey god, foreskin fight!!!!!! LOL
@richardescobar9306
6 жыл бұрын
brandon caruso go fuck your self
@stormwatcher59
6 жыл бұрын
brandon, I'm not interested, but thanks anyway. Peace.
@mmh7284
8 жыл бұрын
God's hair is fabulous.
@yhine3ik
8 жыл бұрын
God is like "It's just faaaabulouuuus."
@NiraSader
8 жыл бұрын
of course a perfect being would have great looking hair :D
@therealunderpants3247
8 жыл бұрын
As fabulous as poodipai
@iw9472
8 жыл бұрын
Yes XD so cool
@hibye-hq9qi
7 жыл бұрын
Hey ARMY :D
@Tatodragon
8 жыл бұрын
I just noticed that God has a swan in his hair.
@Tatodragon
8 жыл бұрын
Lol just using my imagination. It's that little piece in the front.
@t5pain887
8 жыл бұрын
I see it!
@drummerchirino
6 жыл бұрын
A holy swan
@spacemegalodon5049
6 жыл бұрын
I will never unsee that.
@nguyenquocbaokhang1963
5 жыл бұрын
Welp, can't unsee that now
@shockofhyperbole
9 жыл бұрын
Anyone else notice how there are two #3's on his list?
@The_Revolutionist
9 жыл бұрын
Right! :-o
@NiraSader
9 жыл бұрын
*plays the x-files music*
@DarkMatter2525
9 жыл бұрын
+shockofhyperbole Jeffery told God to drop the bird blood life hack in favor of something better, which was when God chose to replace it with the slavery one. In reality, I already had ten life hacks written, but I wanted to squeeze the slavery one in there, so that's how I did it.
@The_Revolutionist
9 жыл бұрын
+BricklordLP ???
@NiraSader
9 жыл бұрын
+huihkjhlhlhh gigkjhkhljl,pm just joking around ^-^
@CalebSteele
9 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you're still doing plain old God & Jeffery videos. They're the best.
@CalebSteele
9 жыл бұрын
***** WTF's your problem?
@CalebSteele
9 жыл бұрын
***** ... riiiiiight. I'm just going to assume you're trolling.
@CalebSteele
9 жыл бұрын
***** I have a secret hideout in my room, so you can't keep me there. In any case, I have Lionel Hutz on my side. I'm invincible.
@TheCow-j1l
8 жыл бұрын
You should do a video only about the Book of Revelations... just saying it...
@giftbrown5911
4 жыл бұрын
I will love to see that too
@ezekielguy402
4 жыл бұрын
Gift Brown yea
@2pikbone
4 жыл бұрын
That would be extremely hard.
@ezekielguy402
4 жыл бұрын
Glen Wiseman how is that?
@killme2675
3 жыл бұрын
@@ezekielguy402 The answer is in the video. "I don't know what was being smoked when it was written"
@alefesilva6952
9 жыл бұрын
There is only one way to end someone rightly ... throw the pommel at them
@RockyRockstarRINGO
9 жыл бұрын
This yoke is unstoppable now
@jommydavi2197
9 жыл бұрын
+Aquawu This is from Skallagrim isn't it?
@alefesilva6952
9 жыл бұрын
Jommy Davi Yes it is
@GijsTheDog
9 жыл бұрын
+Aquawu Does Skall watch these video's?
@alefesilva6952
9 жыл бұрын
***** I don't know, I don't think so
@dustinf49
9 жыл бұрын
You are my favorite KZitemr, bringing talent, knowledge and humor into your videos. We are very fortunate to have you.
@DarkMatter2525
9 жыл бұрын
+Dustin 3423 thank you so much for the kind words!
@PurpleRaven300
9 жыл бұрын
+DarkMatter2525 Thank you for questioning my religion and convinced me of its flaws years ago. I've learned the vast discoveries of evolution. Before, I believed in a fairytales without any real reason. Once again, thank you Dark Matter.
@1990lietuva
9 жыл бұрын
+DarkMatter2525 you are awesome dude sure you may receive a lot of hate for mocking christians but you still are one of the best youtubers there is i just want more god and jeffrey :P
@truthernewscentral9939
9 жыл бұрын
+Justas Guikutis I see that mocking religion amuses you in some sick and twisted way!
@truthernewscentral9939
9 жыл бұрын
+Justas Guikutis and also just incase you ask I'm not entitled to my own opinion, I am entitled to fucking facts!
@cristian50088
9 жыл бұрын
After watching this video, I have two questions: 1) Do the christians know what is written on his Bible? 2) Are the christians who read his Bible ON HIS FUCKING RIGHT MIND?
@someperson5506
9 жыл бұрын
+Cristian50088 I'm Jewish, so we follow the Torah, which the Old Testament was based on. Everything's written in Hebrew, (and occasionally in Aramaic)so it's pretty easy to ignore the actual meaning. And when it's translated, everyone ignores it anyway. Everyone in my synagogue (and i think in most or all synagogues) listens to 'interpretations,' that are far nicer than the actual verses, but don't seem very accurate. Ancient rabbis like Rashi have their 'interpretations,' written in the margins of our prayer books, but when we translated some of them in school, it seemed to me like a lot of it was just them deciding a passage meant something, for no reason.
@someperson5506
9 жыл бұрын
+05r13539 There are values within religions that are worth living by. Get past the bs, and they're there. Also, I like being in the Jewish community. There's a feeling of closeness.
@Abedeuss
9 жыл бұрын
+some person But if you ignore the majority of bad rules and listen only to the good ones, aren't you just using common sense and NOT holy books as basis for your morality?
@someperson5506
9 жыл бұрын
+Abedeuss I never said otherwise. Thing is, most religions don't actually follow the holy book. For the most part, it's a bunch of people deciding what they think's right, what values are important, thinking or pretending it's from the book, but really it's the people deciding. That's why you have christians funding schools and christians calling for the deaths of gays, both because of their religion. Religion isn't actually about the holy book - it's about how people choose to 'interpret,' it, and what they think is right. Sounds a little hypocritical, but frankly, I'm glad this is how most religion works. There's a lot of stuff about slaves, stoning rape victims, etc.
@someperson5506
9 жыл бұрын
+05r13539 I don't think it's a good idea to believe with a passion, but if you kind of half-believe, it's not really a problem. If we could get all followers to half-believe, we'd be far better off. I'd say I've never agreed with extremism, but I think I made that pretty obvious already.
@MariyaLoveyah
6 жыл бұрын
If I ever get to heaven, I will look for Jeffrey! LOL ;)
@rickyspanish6520
6 жыл бұрын
oh mariya you dont understand .we going to hell so we wont get to play with foreskins and stuff.
@rickyspanish6520
6 жыл бұрын
فهمي كتاني first are you mariya and second do you come here for entertainment or what.and what do you belive in.
@jed123e
6 жыл бұрын
Sorry, there is no heaven and there is no God. We made him up, along with Santa and along with the boogie man.
@oliversacco7320
6 жыл бұрын
That would be the only thing good if heaven was not fake
@oliversacco7320
6 жыл бұрын
@@rickyspanish6520 he would be great
@gartzman9270
8 жыл бұрын
wait a minute, if god is omnipresent, then if I just punch the air then am I punching god? OMG Sorry god not sorry!
@maddiep6430
8 жыл бұрын
trying it😂😂😂
@peasant7909
8 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha😂
@Nayradharma
8 жыл бұрын
+Jack Garcia ...
@Gloop_Anderson
8 жыл бұрын
people believe in a multi verse which is beyond our universe
@quarkyquasar893
8 жыл бұрын
blake anderson Well, people also believe in Jesus/Allah/Ram and other stuff, that don't make it real.
@robvlob
7 жыл бұрын
The difference between an atheist and a Christian watching this video. Is the atheist will agree that these verses are in the bible then double check to verify, a Christian will deny the verses are in it and not bother checking.
@oliversacco7320
6 жыл бұрын
Well they are little babies
@persondavis1294
5 жыл бұрын
@@oliversacco7320 what the... Did you read his comment its just generalized millions of people that wont do something as simple as double check a verse. thats pompus, narcissistic and close minded.
@airbolt6496
5 жыл бұрын
I’m Christian and I actually checked this shit. WTF is the least I can say
@bestrafung2754
5 жыл бұрын
@@airbolt6496 Yeah you should probably become Atheist or at least choose another religion that's not batshit crazy.
@RedAngelXV
4 жыл бұрын
Idk if I’m an Atheist or not. My family believes in Christ, but we’re not super oriented around our religious beliefs. Me? I think it’s possible that God might exist, given that every story has to come from somewhere, but I also know that its very possible he might not be real. Maybe we are reincarnated, maybe we just disappear into nothingness, who knows. That’s why I’m glad my parents never forced me to base every action I do on whether or not it would “please the Lord.” Instead, I base it on whether or not I think it makes me a decent person based on my own morals. I don’t really know for sure if there even is a paradise or a hell-scape waiting for me when I die, so I know I need to enjoy what I have now. I guess I might be an Atheist, idk. 🤷♀️
@HMtheWaterMan
9 жыл бұрын
how could you not love these videos!?
@maythesciencebewithyou
9 жыл бұрын
+The Box That Could You mean miracles and mysterious ways
@braveheart7740
9 жыл бұрын
+Willie HavMire Only Hell bound idiots love DarkMatter2525's videos.
@HMtheWaterMan
9 жыл бұрын
Grow up yet you "heavenbound" saints keep watching lol
@maythesciencebewithyou
9 жыл бұрын
Willie HavMire They don't watch it. They close their ears, shake their heads and sing "lalalalalala", while ranting in the comment section.
@braveheart7740
9 жыл бұрын
May the Science be with You May the knowledge from God be with you.
@valorieladner1641
6 жыл бұрын
God:"the only fool proof way to not get pregnant is to stay a virgin" Jeffery: "like Virgin Mary"
@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988
5 ай бұрын
That's seriously hilarious. I loved that part.
@anuruksuriyaarachchi3988
5 ай бұрын
I think it's true. Mother Mary should either be impregnated by Joseph if the bible isn't true but otherwise, I think someone else impregnated her long before meeting Joseph.
@artsHscience
8 жыл бұрын
This video is ready for Adult Swim. Hilarious and the video quality is good as Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I hope you can get on cable as your message needs a larger audience (at east 1million viewers in a 7 day measurement) and you certainly deserve the pay.
@guyfromcollege
9 жыл бұрын
I was dying at 5:05
@dogsteeves1
9 жыл бұрын
+Awesome McBadass It not funny
@TheEvolNemesis
9 жыл бұрын
+Awesome McBadass *thwap!* Foreskin fight!
@mr.caringofwhatusay1801
9 жыл бұрын
+Awesome McBadass I was reborning at 78:23
@lendog360
9 жыл бұрын
Really? You must be twelve years old.
@JamarD421
9 жыл бұрын
+Leonard But it was hilarious as fuck.
@iandotson1366
3 жыл бұрын
I love Jeffrey, especially when he shrieks "Whaaaaaaaat?" when God says something insane
@letsgo_123
8 жыл бұрын
I love how no one has made rebuttals to these videos lol because they physically can't make a solid argument
@hengkygunawan300
8 жыл бұрын
ee yup
@JoahTheThread5ive
8 жыл бұрын
They probally do not give it much thought beause it is animated.
@erickbruno10
7 жыл бұрын
Don't Censor and why should we fight for anything here on the internet, think about it, in ten years, would you still remember this conversation?
@morena9900
7 жыл бұрын
Erick well the internet doesn't really think that way
@francisluglio6611
6 жыл бұрын
Erick, no, not me but I do remember when I became an atheist. There's no magical one video that'll do it but discourse would be excellent for faith. Can you really claim to have faith in an idea that hasn't been challenged?
@abbeywhittaker6082
8 жыл бұрын
I like Jeffery
@DrXaOs
8 жыл бұрын
i like you mom too
@enihashim1603
3 жыл бұрын
We all do ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@lorderik237
9 жыл бұрын
You should get your channel verified, DarkMatter.
@grzegorz16100
9 жыл бұрын
+lorderik237 what do you mean?
@lorderik237
9 жыл бұрын
Gregory May When a channel is verified, they get a badge next to their username so people know the channel belongs to that person. Two examples are Nigahiga and Smosh. support.google.com/youtube/answer/3046484?hl=en
@securaamazon6165
6 жыл бұрын
He has now c:
@Cjnw
5 жыл бұрын
*Darkmatter666 has entered the chat*
@TheSapphireLeo
Жыл бұрын
Oh, god(s), that was 7 years ago, already?
@danielzachary8996
8 жыл бұрын
When Jeffrey brought up Mary I died
@thatoneguy7792
6 жыл бұрын
Noomi Blumquist this is how I learn about Christianity
@terminatah500
4 жыл бұрын
@{Furon Reich} mary got god 😂😂😂😂
@eleSDSU
3 жыл бұрын
If you answer I'll take it as evidence that you have resurrected sometime in the last 4 years. All hail Daniel! Unless he is dead.
@nicolaimanev
3 жыл бұрын
@@eleSDSU No need, he wrote a comment after he rose from the dead, are you a blind heretic? Hallelujah oh Daniel!
@tristanhoekstra
8 жыл бұрын
Hey Jesus! Ever heard of landscape mode?
@tristanhoekstra
8 жыл бұрын
+Tristan Hoekstra lol, just as it gets mentioned by Jeffery
@hyrulecitizen7988
6 жыл бұрын
Don't be mad bro
@ericp9479
6 жыл бұрын
Go change your leaf!
@oliversacco7320
6 жыл бұрын
He was a dumbass have you read his book lol
@dilo19000
9 жыл бұрын
A new Thunderf00t AND a new DarkMatter video, It MUST be Christmas.
@michaelparks4408
9 жыл бұрын
Logicked too, but depending on your timezone that may have been yesterday.
@Gabzpiano
9 жыл бұрын
+Dilo Power not just any TF video, a WDPLAC video!!!! :)
@dilo19000
9 жыл бұрын
Yes, Yes to Both And my friend has been confirmed to be NOT Dying. Today is just a good day
@crisisofdemocracy8940
9 жыл бұрын
Thunderf00t is a twat.
@dilo19000
9 жыл бұрын
it IS Christmas
@informationyes
7 жыл бұрын
It also says in the bible the creation of the rainbow after the flood will serve as a reminder to god not to kill everyone by a flood again as a means of his wrath, so an omnipotent being needs a thrikin rainbow to remind him to not kill people in a certain way again.
@informationyes
7 жыл бұрын
***** Yep sounds logical
@katamas832
6 жыл бұрын
Wait, wrath isn't one of the Seven Deadly Sins in the first place?
@kcwidman
6 жыл бұрын
It was a reminder to the people, not to God. I am not justifying it in anyway, but you misrepresented what the Bible says. There is enough wrong with the Bible that there is no need to make stuff up. I assume this was unintentional, so no harm no foul. :)
@googleperson7551
6 жыл бұрын
Clearly God is learning on the job.
@ArthaxtaDaVince777
6 жыл бұрын
As least read the book then make dumbass comments.
@nicholasleclerc1583
7 жыл бұрын
God: "Look, Jeffrey, the only 100% way to not be pregnant is to stay a virgin" Jeffrey: "Ho, like the Virgin Mary?" ...: 0 OMG THE BURN, THE HELL'S FIRE OF THE BURN! IT'S TOO LIT!!!!! GET ROASTED SO HARD GOD!!!
@HypercatZ
4 жыл бұрын
The debate is open: Who's more virgin? Mary or Princess Peach?
@sylvesterhoyte913
4 жыл бұрын
God heard Jeffrey say like the virgin Mary zGod wants to maul Jeffrey.lol
After watching several of your videos I can't tell the difference between god and the devil ^_^"
@Nloveru
9 жыл бұрын
+太陽ダビデ Actually, my believe is (if god and the devil turn out to actually exist) that the bible is the work of the devil who presents himself as god in it. This fits nicely with the part in the bible that says many will be deceived. "God" in the bible, who I consider to actually be the devil, just wants to keep humans stupid and worship him. Whereas the "devil", who I consider to actually be god, tries to get humans to think critically and see the evil of the so-called god for themselves.
@Icemario87
9 жыл бұрын
+Nloveru That's very valid. And should be made into a novel.
@Ben-cp9sf
9 жыл бұрын
+Nloveru wow that's crazy and awesome. Did this just happen to wiggle into your mind?
@Nloveru
9 жыл бұрын
Benjamin Scott It did yes. When I was reading the bible for a second time (first time as a deeply religious man, second time as a man in doubt). I've been thinking about writing some kind of book or paper on the subject, but that would require me to read the damn thing for a third time... The basic idea of god = devil and vice versa also doesn't work out for the entire bible, but it does for large parts.
@Icemario87
9 жыл бұрын
Nloveru Which parts do you think it fails to "work out" for? The "Job" story?
@kipmcmahan9714
4 жыл бұрын
It never gets old when God freaks out on Jeffrey 😆
@petergant8767
3 жыл бұрын
Brought REAL tears of laughter to MY eyes!
@philojudaeusofalexandria9556
8 жыл бұрын
god should always be drawn soaked head to toe in human blood. The greatest serial killer in history. In fact it is difficult to even CONCEIVE of a more bloodthirsty murderer.
@nvmffs
6 жыл бұрын
Naah, aliens have been known to wipe out whole planets, God doesn't even come close
@nvmffs
6 жыл бұрын
You haven't heard?
@julianne1066
6 жыл бұрын
nvmffs Lol.
@Adros2121
5 жыл бұрын
BLOOD FOR YHWH, SKULLS FOR GOD'S THONE.
@charlieclark9552
4 жыл бұрын
The empire and alderaan would like to have a word with you
@snapdragon9300
8 жыл бұрын
Damn just looked up 2 kings 23-25 mentioned here, god setting bears to kill 42 kids for insulting elijahs bald head! Thats some cold shit, right there. A lot of massacres going on in bible, im glad im a Athiest .
@IsJdog911
5 жыл бұрын
God righteously killed those kids, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away 😉
@alb9022
5 жыл бұрын
@@IsJdog911 Judging by this, "As A black man I also find it confusing as to why my race can't see such an obvious trap.", I'm guessing it's sarcasm?
@IsJdog911
5 жыл бұрын
@@alb9022 yeah pretty much lmao
@IsJdog911
5 жыл бұрын
@@alb9022 Christians worship the God of death destruction and confusion
@alb9022
5 жыл бұрын
@@IsJdog911 xD
@officialchasemyflow2828
9 жыл бұрын
This sky phone is useless! I need to upgrade to a galaxy!
@djcraig-officialvlogsandan775
9 жыл бұрын
That's pretty smart XD
@officialchasemyflow2828
9 жыл бұрын
+Kansas Devil (Devil66102) will do!
@agimasoschandir
9 жыл бұрын
+Official ChaseMyFlow iPhone Mk. II, with "the ability to see into every possibility".
@taski1
9 жыл бұрын
+Advanced Prime bitches don't know about muh multiverse phone 64
@firstnamelastname2864
8 жыл бұрын
+furseisekilulz i know dat phone!
@christianalamillo8329
8 жыл бұрын
I laughed my ass of when God attacked Jeffrery xD
@PeteTheGrouch
8 жыл бұрын
Is it possible we could just...y'know - fire God? Then, maybe, have Jeffery take his place..? It's just that, God really seems to SUCK at his job, y'know?
@noomiblumquist2450
6 жыл бұрын
PeteTheGrouch all summed up in a mocking propaganda cartoon. Smart crowd. Funny video. I have bible study tonight. I'm interested. Is that a crime...and open mind? I also participate in reiki and other healing practices...real or not...they keep me centered. My choice. Non ya business :)
@noomiblumquist2450
6 жыл бұрын
Im also interested in the deepest oceans and infinite universe..and all the unknown possibilities...imagination and curiosity are alright...creative cartoon!
@berberrb-3754
3 жыл бұрын
@@noomiblumquist2450 what?
@Voyagerthe2nd
8 жыл бұрын
Before the ten commandments came ten fingers
@thedeekabides
4 жыл бұрын
Thumbs aren't fingers. Swing and a miss.
@todabsolute
4 жыл бұрын
disproof of the bible basically
@Generic_Gaming_Channel
4 жыл бұрын
@@thedeekabides thumbs are on the hand and have the same purpose as fingers therefore they are fingers
@Lord_Skeptic
3 жыл бұрын
@@thedeekabides are halluxs toes
@bellissimo999
8 жыл бұрын
6:14 when the girl you like posts a revealing picture.
@DanGaming0
8 жыл бұрын
Wtf is wrong with you
@bellissimo999
8 жыл бұрын
Dan Gaming nothing.
@theresnothinghereatall
6 жыл бұрын
Wtf is right with you
@cubersanonymous5180
6 жыл бұрын
Dan Gaming nothing
@Matt-ec5jn
6 жыл бұрын
@@DanGaming0 nothing. whats wrong with you?
@honestchild5234
8 жыл бұрын
The foreskin part is just.m uhh.. uhm... just.. just what the fuck?!
@honestchild5234
8 жыл бұрын
Oh my fucking lord. Number 1 wtf 😂
@marthia8015
8 жыл бұрын
Am I the only one who expected the banana point to end with god explaining how the banana fits perfectly into your hand so you can peal it really easily?
@TheAnantaSesa
8 жыл бұрын
actually the trick is open the banana from the bottom, not the stem.
@theKiwii
8 жыл бұрын
actually the stem *is* the bottom of the banana* so the correct way is to hold the banana correctly (stem down) and open the top. * 4.bp.blogspot.com/-KHAi9l1KQrw/UBLVnHCTaLI/AAAAAAAAAJw/0aTBYbkH_I8/s1600/banana+plant.jpg
@theKiwii
8 жыл бұрын
actually the stem *is* the bottom of the banana* so the correct way is to hold the banana correctly (stem down) and open the top. * 4.bp.blogspot.com/-KHAi9l1KQrw/UBLVnHCTaLI/AAAAAAAAAJw/0aTBYbkH_I8/s1600/banana+plant.jpg
@JoahTheThread5ive
8 жыл бұрын
There is no correct way.
@theKiwii
8 жыл бұрын
Don't Censor There's obviously a correct way. You know you did it correctly if the leftover peel looks like those from Mario Kart. images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fvignette2.wikia.nocookie.net%2Ffantendo%2Fimages%2F0%2F01%2FBanana_%2528Mario_Kart_Wii%2529.png%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20140525201650&f=1
@masonsmocs
8 жыл бұрын
I have no fucking clue what they were thinking when they wrote the Bible
@noomiblumquist2450
6 жыл бұрын
Mason's Mocs Look at it as mythology..entertainment even. What were they thinking when they wrote anything ever
@bobsawyer4608
6 жыл бұрын
Mason's Mocs I don't think they were thinking at all Or they were high one of the two Sorry for bad grammar
@sarysa
Жыл бұрын
No way a 2000 year old sandal wearer from an arid region would have toe fungus. That stuff loves closed spaces and humidity.
@ToxoplasmosisVsRodents
Жыл бұрын
I am from an arid region of India. Here, old people get toe nail fungus, mostly in rainy seasons.
@EdwardHowton
9 жыл бұрын
I've actually long said that the book of Revelation reads like the first ever recorded blog post from a guy tripping on magic mushrooms. Seven-headed angels holding seven scrolls with seven swords and seven keys and seven stars and seven seven seven seven... I was just waiting for the part where the guy panicked about all the spiders crawling all over him. Or whatever mush-heads do. Are they called mush-heads?
@EdwardHowton
9 жыл бұрын
***** I'm not "down" on the "lingo" used by "the kids" these days. Do people still speak Jive?
@ShiftyMcGoggles
9 жыл бұрын
+SpaceClaw and now me as well. mushheads!!!!
@GlitchedLink1
9 жыл бұрын
+EdwardHowton Nah, ain't no hepcats wailin' with the mellows no more.
@plato12000
9 жыл бұрын
+EdwardHowton Mushroom users are generally called "shroomers".
@Anonymous551656
9 жыл бұрын
+EdwardHowton My mumma didn't raise no dummies, I dug yo' rap.
@kindleofelectricity7062
9 жыл бұрын
As an Agnostic Athiest, your channel is hilarious and I'm subscribing. :)
@IsJdog911
5 жыл бұрын
I'm also agnostic we are indeed an endangered species
@EthanPineapple
5 жыл бұрын
@@IsJdog911 I think most atheists are agnostic.
@IsJdog911
5 жыл бұрын
@@EthanPineapple well not all the militant ones
@EthanPineapple
5 жыл бұрын
@@IsJdog911 Militant what?
@khenricx
5 жыл бұрын
@@IsJdog911 The great majority of us are angostic atheists. Same goes for the militant ones. It's not because you're agnostic that you got to accept the bullshit of others, or the fallacies.
@conradsabatier5223
5 жыл бұрын
Foreskins - The perfect gift for any occasion Priceless! 😄
@PsychoticSashimiS
8 жыл бұрын
I like how the New Testament basically erases the Old Testament
@DrXaOs
8 жыл бұрын
''But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.'' Matthew 24:37 not only Jesus did not erase the Oldie but he warned people that on his second coming it will be the same as Noah flood
@DrXaOs
8 жыл бұрын
***** yeap! is my best and shortest answer to people who claim that Jesus does not support the Oldie. And the conversation stops right there! trolololoolo
@DrXaOs
8 жыл бұрын
***** years ago i was finding very entertaining going on debates versus the ''mindless sheep'' or trying to convert them to the logic's side.Now i m so tired of all these things.Its not funny at all anymore.I just ignore all religion/politics conversations and i dont participate at all.Its their own right to act like sheeps if they want.Its like the old good wine...ages go and ages come...and religions are fucked up right now and have lost much power.Its a matter of time sheeps will convert to humans again!
@DrXaOs
8 жыл бұрын
***** Amen! XD
@DrXaOs
8 жыл бұрын
or Damen?*****
@MrLeronne
9 жыл бұрын
God: "the only 100% full proof way to not get pregnant, is to stay a virgin". Jeffrey: "oh, like virgin Mary". holy fuck this part was hillarious. keep doing what you do darkmatter this episode was hillarious.
@ChristieNel
9 жыл бұрын
I was hoping God would provide at least one useful life hack.
@socalocman03
9 жыл бұрын
+Christie Nel Keep hoping!! lol
@morgancook4288
9 жыл бұрын
foreskin fights sound pretty fun.
@morgancook4288
9 жыл бұрын
+Ethan Taylor yeah I think I have buch of them in a jar some where around here.
@implicaverse
9 жыл бұрын
+Christie Nel He's a little behind the times in that for many practical applications these days, foreskins have largely been replaced by rubber bands.
@sorayacatfriend
9 жыл бұрын
I found how to hack a man pretty helpful XD
@magicnooodlez3622
8 жыл бұрын
Imagine Jeffrey as god
@isakaner-roth4525
8 жыл бұрын
We would have a pretty perfect world.
@TheDragonshadow1231
7 жыл бұрын
How so or someone perfect world..
@IsJdog911
5 жыл бұрын
The world will actually make sense
@nguyenquocbaokhang1963
5 жыл бұрын
Lmao Jeffism
@maddiep6430
8 жыл бұрын
"hey, God?" God- "yeah, ow" "foreskin fight"
@AntonMarcosKammerer
9 жыл бұрын
I'm trying the banana hack but for some reason it is not working. Does anyone of you have managed to make t work? What can I be doing wrong?
@AntonMarcosKammerer
9 жыл бұрын
***** A hammer did not work either. I prayed a lot to God to peel the banana with a hammer and nothing happened. I thought maybe God did not have a hammer and I even bought one for him to use. But even leaving the hammer next to the the banana and asking my friend to pray with me nothing happened. I'm disappointed. Does anyone was successful at all?
@UTUBESUCK666
9 жыл бұрын
+Anton Marcos Kammerer Grenades works every time for me.
@AntonMarcosKammerer
9 жыл бұрын
Lukas Re I've tried everything! Grenades. plastic explosives, knives, peelers, sandpaper, M9 ... Which leads me to think that the problem lies in prayer. Does anyone know a good prayer? And do you believe that doing some offering to god would help? Does God like Kit Kat?
@AntonMarcosKammerer
9 жыл бұрын
***** I bought a goat and left him next to a knife. I prayed to Satan to sacrifice this goat. Did not work. The goat is still alive and my banana was not peeled off. I tried to pray for Satan to peel the banana himself. Nothing happened. I did not realize that praying was something so complicated. I decided to buy the book Christian Prayer For Dummies. It was a waste of money and time. No single tip of this book worked. Maybe God could be on vacation? Or maybe it's Holiday in Paradise or wherever he lives? Hope my prayer went to his mailbox and he will help me later..
@Kevin15047
9 жыл бұрын
+Anton Marcos Kammerer You gonna starve.
@anotherone_ap
8 жыл бұрын
Fuck the point, this sht jus be funny
@anotherone_ap
8 жыл бұрын
Asf
@lapisbazuli8445
8 жыл бұрын
+Ap3 Montana Is your keyboard broken?
@rondowar
8 жыл бұрын
+Claw Specified nah, it's how the cool kids talk.. apparently edit: phone typos :)
@jaydani1996
8 жыл бұрын
+rondowar *apparently
@anotherone_ap
8 жыл бұрын
Yeah apparently
@VictorXimenes
8 жыл бұрын
You gotta admire god man, even if you are an atheist... The guy has a hell of a sense of humor haha
@GalaxyDogenut
3 жыл бұрын
Agreed.
@Robert_Martyr_deSaLem_Oregon
2 жыл бұрын
*Hiding BeHind a RAG, is just as SICK, as Hiding BeHind a BiBLe!!!!*
@AHAHAHHAHA
2 жыл бұрын
Hes so evil it makes him sympathetic
@1955RodHot
9 жыл бұрын
*SPOILER ALERT* I had to pause this when God held up the coat-hanger until I stopped laughing. Is it wrong that I found a reference to coat-hanger abortions so funny?
@SkiDaBird
9 жыл бұрын
+1955RodHot I don't think so. I think if you understand the issue, it's always fine to laugh.
@agimasoschandir
9 жыл бұрын
+1955RodHot The scence was meant to be comical. Comedy is not always a thing of nonsense or beauty, sometimes it is provided as a trickster or a harlequin might parlay it, sometimes it can be dark and grime. The comedy in this particular instance comes not in the coat hanger but that the idea of using such a thing is ludicrous.
@if6was929
9 жыл бұрын
+Agimaso Schandir no, the coat hanger reference isn't meant to be ludacris, it's meant to be shocking! When abortion was still illegal in the US coat hangers were among some of the "tools" which were used to perform the procedure. The results of illegal abortions were disastrous to the woman's health and life. Septic shock, vaginal lacerations, perforated uterus and death can result from illegal abortions. It's the reason why abortions were made legal because they are going to be performed regardless of the risks, its better to have them done by a safe medical procedure.
@FrankCastle-tq9bz
9 жыл бұрын
+1955RodHot Nope - I laughed my ass off too. I have a very dark sense of humor...
@RisaPlays
9 жыл бұрын
As a feminist, I can say I found that moment to be hilarious as well. XD It's shocking and absurd but the God character is already made out to be a despicable character, so it's expected that we should object to the things he supports. The timing and sound cues fed into the comedy a lot as well.
@phillipisayev1273
8 жыл бұрын
In my classroom, there is a piece of paper hanging hidden on the wall that says "kings 2:23-25". I didn't really think much of it until I looked it up.
@smart-brian
8 жыл бұрын
Wats it say?
@phillipisayev1273
8 жыл бұрын
man mannington 23 Elisha went up from there to Bethel. As he was going up the road, some young people came out of the city. They mocked him: “Get going, Baldy! Get going, Baldy!” 24 Turning around, Elisha looked at them and cursed them in the Lord’s name. Then two bears came out of the woods and mangled forty-two of the youths. 25 From there Elisha went to Mount Carmel and then back to Samaria.
@Hunter-wx7td
8 жыл бұрын
+Phillip Isayev fucking bullshit dont you think? I mean i dont how people can read this an still believe this shit
@phillipisayev1273
8 жыл бұрын
Hunter491 My mom always defends it.
@C2009e
7 жыл бұрын
LOOOOL WTF
@herenomore3167
5 жыл бұрын
1:53 "why don't you change your pot leaf" 😂😂😂😂
@ty_-je8wf
5 жыл бұрын
This will always be one of my favorite channels on this site
@thesnarkasticwitch3742
7 жыл бұрын
7:10 I DIED
@madarthivanki
6 жыл бұрын
This has given a new meaning to " Goddamnit."
@mindlessonion
5 жыл бұрын
Thank God I found Jeffrey and now I'm worshiping Him!
@AgentAnime95
8 жыл бұрын
Jeffery is my favorite character
@MatawanBullShark
9 жыл бұрын
Damn, that Virgin Mary comeback was God's Sickest Burn since he created Hell.
@MatthewWilliamson-y9k
6 ай бұрын
"You're breaking the 8th wall...or the 6th sense or something" lmao 😂😂
@johnbutner2570
5 жыл бұрын
If "priests" actually had to do some work there would be a huge decline in "priests".
@maestrulgamer9695
5 жыл бұрын
2:09-He couldn't just pull out a Thanos and erase them from existance??
@dubaspace
8 жыл бұрын
absolutely brilliant! I just discovered your channel recently and it's incredibly well done....a cartoon form of some of the responses I give when people ask me why I'm an agnostic/de-facto athiest! I'll def. be looking forward to new episodes, I absolutely love the Yahweh character!!
@marv34001
9 жыл бұрын
Darkmatter2525 is the best atheist entertainer. He is beyond all other internet atheists that do nothing but whine and bash. This guy knows how to get a mesage around. Long live Darkmatter2525.
@AmitSingh-vt6ws
6 жыл бұрын
"I just wanted to see if they would do it" god had no idea did he.
@bennywolfe4357
2 жыл бұрын
It’s not about mold. It’s about a specific sin which gets punished in a specific way.
@MrYovilleSTAFF
4 жыл бұрын
This video is probably my favorite of your videos. You do such a good job of providing education along with a good laugh. You’re a true hero
@Hobosdkcheese
8 жыл бұрын
THE COAT HANGER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
@noomiblumquist2450
6 жыл бұрын
Hobosdkcheese my abortion was evil. The Dr was high im pretty sure. :( im a god person. And?
@RedAngelXV
4 жыл бұрын
Bruh I was laughing too...😂
@silverhairdemon
8 жыл бұрын
Can,t get enough from this, you should made something like this about the islam too.
@geoffreybrunell5592
9 жыл бұрын
"Like the virgin, Mary?" I was laughing my ass of then!
@AgentBishopFD
Жыл бұрын
The soda can sound when he kills the bird... Idk why but that one did me in 🤣
@AdamA-wg1ko
8 жыл бұрын
it doesn't get old... 😂 😂 lol. I've seen a few times 😂 everytime is just like the first!
@aliAlyacoub
5 жыл бұрын
😑
@trip_0106
4 жыл бұрын
Haider Alyacoub what does “😑” mean
@simonthompson2764
3 жыл бұрын
Vote for Geoffrey for the new God.
@Anonymous-zw8kx
3 жыл бұрын
#jeffism is our new religion
@marvenlunn6086
Жыл бұрын
I wonder if Zeus taugh God to eat a banana like that lol
@dannydonaldson6664
7 жыл бұрын
u know i asked myself y did God flood the world to get rid of evil yet here we are in 2017 with more evil now than then
@addictedtonotsmoking2893
9 жыл бұрын
Here's a life hack I've encountered a few times: How to demonize atheism: Step 1: Accuse all atheists of hating all Christians. Unfortunately, many atheists will refute this by saying that they have many Christian friends, and that they respect each other's opinions. Step 2: Argue that any Christian who respects the opinion of an atheist is not a true Christian. By redefining Christianity, it is impossible, by definition, for Christians and atheists to get along. Step 3: Forget about the loophole that allows Step 2 to reinforce Step 1, and pretend that Step 1 is the atheist's fault.
@TruthfullySpeaking500
9 жыл бұрын
+NonSmokingAddict Atheism is a troll religion. Perfect for the characters on the internet who dont truly believe in anything and hate things they ironically cant stop watching or talking about. lol.
@wearemikej
9 жыл бұрын
+The Truth Actually no, we criticize and ridicule Christianity because if atheists do not fight back, Christians will turn this country into a theocracy as apposed to the secular nation we are. If atheists do not fight back Christians will deny the right to pursue happiness to anyone they deem as immoral or not to their standard of morality. If atheists do not fight back Christians will stifle any science they deem as not in agreement with their beliefs, prime example, evolution. If atheists do not fight back Christians will white wash history for their own ends. If atheists do nothing we could end up with a right wing extremist as our president. If atheists do nothing, the evil of Christianity will run unchecked here in America. That is why we criticize and ridicule Christianity.
@addictedtonotsmoking2893
9 жыл бұрын
Mike J When you say "Christians," I assume you are referring to the worst variety among them. See my original comment.
@addictedtonotsmoking2893
9 жыл бұрын
***** Atheism is as much a religion as not smoking is an addiction. Hence my sarcastic user name.
@addictedtonotsmoking2893
9 жыл бұрын
***** Congratulations. You did exactly what I described in step 1. My turn: As an atheist, I have several Christian friends who respect my opinion as much as I respect theirs. If you stoop to step 2, then that would make you more of an idiot than the last person to do so, given the fact that I logically laid out the problem right here.
@Demonbenny
9 жыл бұрын
I nearly died at the 'virgin Mary' part where God tackled Jeffrey. Funniest of your videos yet. Amazing! :D
@westernculturethroughgodseyes
2 жыл бұрын
'Christians be like...' : kzitem.info/news/bejne/ppei2J6YgISWrG0
@LoydAvenheart
8 жыл бұрын
24 When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, 25 Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines. 26 When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, 27 David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.
@fishecake2794
4 жыл бұрын
yay forskins
@fanieljairtonjairton4234
3 жыл бұрын
Okay
@cobalius
3 жыл бұрын
Hm must have been a casual thing back then
@mazingdaddid
7 жыл бұрын
foreskin fight!
@zephyr2453
6 жыл бұрын
he filmed vertically
@thecommonfool2110
6 жыл бұрын
😡
@LarryPanozzo
9 жыл бұрын
FORESKIN FIGHT!!!
@xBwahx
3 жыл бұрын
So we not gonna talk about how god cracked open the bird's neck like a can of soda???
@kaywestda1380
9 жыл бұрын
I swear God is just exhausting. I'm tired of face palming this guy
@peggystoutemorin4529
2 жыл бұрын
Jeffery: "You're supposed to be against abortion." God: "Not if you're a skank." Numbers 5:11-31. I hope there is a rule for a cheating husband.
@ur.cristiiano.o
5 жыл бұрын
7:51 "HAHAH, I just wanna see if they'll actually do it" >!>!> OMFGGG AOJSOPJASPOFJFP JOAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA LMAOO!!!!!!!!
@FriendlySkeptic
4 жыл бұрын
Oh man I’m crying with laughter here! As a bald parent the advice on how to deal with my son taking the piss is really useful too.. I don’t have any bears handy though... would Rottweilers be a suitable substitute?
@Jeffgodsir
7 жыл бұрын
Well no matter what you're going to say Christians are still going to say that god works in mysterious ways and our minds is too feeble compare to god to understand his works.
@Jeffgodsir
7 жыл бұрын
Technically I could use that excuse and create my own religion 😊
@peteran4721
5 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@dorianphilotheates3769
4 жыл бұрын
NH Official - If you did, you’d get immediate government assistance and a 100% tax break.
@jeromedevecais2751
4 жыл бұрын
No matter what they say atheism is fallacy
@jeromedevecais2751
4 жыл бұрын
@Σאgßと Isaac Newton and Galileo Galilei is far more brilliant than Charles Darwin lol.., Science explain what God has made.
@flochforster88
8 жыл бұрын
Genuine question, what do religious people say in response to these quoted verses from the bible?
@amberlyelizabeth
6 жыл бұрын
Jaime L they say its not supposed to be taken literally or that it doesn't count anymore
@juliusmatijosius2219
5 жыл бұрын
@@amberlyelizabeth If it is not supposed to be taken literally then the whole concept of religion shouldn't be taken seriously, something that hundreds of millions of people fail to do everyday
@RedAngelXV
4 жыл бұрын
The same way anyone reacts when their favorite fanfic gets bashed on.💁♀️
@bennywolfe4357
2 жыл бұрын
Which verse should I respond to?
@space8862
2 жыл бұрын
I can’t believe so many people worship this guy! we do live in the 21st century so something like this shouldn’t come as a surprise but damn!
@corvax8644
8 жыл бұрын
The coat hanger was great😂😂
@SidharthSatheesh
9 жыл бұрын
I wish Jeffrey was god, like a real one, life would be 100 times better.
@mat2468xk
6 жыл бұрын
"What you're gonna want to do is called praying to peel away. Pray to me, God, to get rid of the peel for you." LMAO.
@Wawagirl17
9 жыл бұрын
I didn't realize how much I'd missed Jeffrey until I saw this.
@SpectresRings
8 жыл бұрын
I've watched dozens of Dark Matter's videos over the past year, but this is the first time that a video of his has legitimately made me laugh out loud.
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