This was helpful thank you. I was friends with an avoidant for three years then I confessed to him I liked him and we had sexual relationship. After two months of being sexually connected I sent him a love letter in the mail then never heard from him again. It’s so fucking painful, I’m pretty sure he sees me at the phantom ex now and it’s so dehumanizing, I’m not a fictional character, I’m a real person that he doesn’t want to be accountable too
@TheJessicagardner
7 күн бұрын
ouch shame hey ... sounds like he just used you for sex ... he has not much morals ... sorry
@AmyK007
6 күн бұрын
So sorry, that is awful 😢
@byjohnobrien
5 күн бұрын
So sorry to hear. He was never your friend and you deserve better. I'm really glad you're here Alyssa. Hope to see more of you. Wishing you the best. Remember, your vulnerability is a strength.
@BruceJC75
5 күн бұрын
Nothing but bread crumbs after she ripped the rug out from under me.
@bandida99
7 күн бұрын
well said. thanks for sharing!
@palmiccz
6 күн бұрын
Probably one of your best videos yet, this channel is going to be blast.
@byjohnobrien
5 күн бұрын
Very cool of you to say! I'm glad you're here!!
@marguskiis7711
Күн бұрын
simp
@jb-ze1yh
6 күн бұрын
My Coparent leans towards dismissive in relationships but is fearful. I’m raising our child while he builds his invisible empire smh.. he never thanks me for raising our child without his help. Smh. I just stay away from him. I’m leaning towards earned secure and I have zero energy for unhealed people. Great video. ❤
@byjohnobrien
5 күн бұрын
Thanks for sharing. Sorry about the situation but I'm glad you're working towards your secure attachment.
@TheJessicagardner
7 күн бұрын
Yes, ex did this alot ... I was anxious and he would devalue but then I also sometimes devalued too but was more anxious... wow could he criticize me and then he eventually dumped me via a whats app voice note after literally planning our lives together as he was making all these plans for me and with me ... was confusing... I wasn't allowed to share facebook recipes or food things or follow taylor swift or anything ...
@byjohnobrien
5 күн бұрын
He sounds like a narcissist, not an avoidant, if he was that controlling over your behavior. Refer to my other video "are they an avoidant or narcissist." Hope things work out for you. Thanks for sharing.
@ParisianStreets
6 күн бұрын
yes going thru this now very painful DA is sitting on fence but im really sick n tired bc it takes 2 to tango.
@byjohnobrien
5 күн бұрын
Yes both need to do the work. Remember to consider your needs and when you need to walk away. Always enjoy seeing you here.
@sapnapandey5922
7 күн бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂 they are just human well of course I am human ❤
@candicelondon-hessert8723
4 күн бұрын
This video stops short of what the solution is. How do we get to the point of not needing “no contact” in the current relationship???
@byjohnobrien
5 сағат бұрын
You would need to find a secure partner, someone who would never WANT to go no contact. Hope it works out.
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