Nicely put, the older I get the more I realize how this world really is just a huge mirror reflecting everything back to you
@DC502_
3 жыл бұрын
Hello
@PeterAcrat
3 жыл бұрын
I agree. The magical challenge is then discovering how to use those 'cues for change' as they arrive in their many forms (disguised blessings), and act _within_ to dissolve the dark meaning or false belief at the core of issue; which appears to be controlled by 'the world' out there. The new leaf becomes turned over; reaching up to meet the light of life - and for a time, we are fulfilled.
@vixenvalenzuela
3 жыл бұрын
@@PeterAcrat that was poetic 🤍🙏🏼
@siadawn
3 жыл бұрын
So funny you said that, Ethereal Vixen. I just told my (grown) son that very same thing today, that Life is a mirror reflecting what we need to focus on and address ... your statement just validates that in the most synchronistic way 😂
@vixenvalenzuela
3 жыл бұрын
@@siadawn lol! Im glad it resonated :)
@amma3353
3 жыл бұрын
I think some people missed what her first words were: they will always “set you up” to feel the way they felt by you, not saying that you *end up* feeling the way you made them feel, but intentionally or unintentionally they attempt on reflecting that feeling back on you. it’s the fact that it gets attempted, and I believe it’s not only negative, but positive emotions as well.
@justineczarnobyl9987
3 жыл бұрын
That's why we want to date successful people, who are happy on their own. We know they will spread their energy all around and if it's a positive energy we're gonna feel good and give good energy back to them.
@amma3353
3 жыл бұрын
@@justineczarnobyl9987 definitely !!
@SixRavenEight
3 жыл бұрын
Since we own our feelings and choose how we feel, being set up, to me, only tells me how they're feeling. I keep my feelings the way I want them and then try to respond to them positivity so they feel heard and seen. In the end I think it's what we all really want.
@katyp855
3 жыл бұрын
There isn’t anything new in this. Adults behave the same way unless they have learnt emotional regulation. Children feel big emotions because they haven’t learnt the art of processing and responding. They only know how to react.
@justineczarnobyl9987
3 жыл бұрын
@@pancakexxpie good for you 😀 it's the best way to have healthy relationships with people and good life in general.
@lilitudeamnocte248
3 жыл бұрын
she saved my life. I was on the brink of suicide when her videos popped up. she is such a genius with human emotions.... I hope the collective will catch up with her soon; she's so far ahead of her time.
@emilyschneider6531
3 жыл бұрын
ditto here.... I love her
@citaprevia9833
3 жыл бұрын
it´s a loop : the same exact people that first raped and deathed you are the same exact people selling your reiki massages and narcist advice #Letthatsinkin!
@the1betterpodcast84
3 жыл бұрын
AGREE 💯
@GrahamNificent
3 жыл бұрын
Amen to that
@tanzilaTripti
3 жыл бұрын
Same love her.
@minicc26
2 жыл бұрын
I work with kids, what I've learned is whatever emotion they have like throwing a tantrum dont take it personally dont take their emotion. You are the one who sets the tone on how things should be and good things will follow. If you fall into getting angry or frustrated after that incident they will sense it and the day will spiral into more chaos and negativity. If you make sure you stay composed, let them have their emotions, dont take it as your own and move on with a positive attitude After they are done not holding grudges the day goes alot better and dosnt spiral into negativity or more tantrums. A similar thing can occur with relationships dont take on or reinforce negativity. You control how you feel
@ineedhoez
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. I disengage.
@UnicornUniverse333
2 жыл бұрын
I have had a looooong healing journey and it's for life, I am autistic and adhd, I have always just automatically absorbed projections from everyone, im finally learning self protection. also I have been laying on acupressure mats every day for years now, that literally has been the ONLY WAY I survive existing, my high sensitivity is coming manageable for the first time in my life. I share all this because you probably already know, all the people who desperately need to do their shadowwork and heal their intergenerational trauma, still have not, and they continue to project their unprocessed shadow aspects onto children, even their own children. Those children then become the bearers of the new generation of that passed down traumas. I am healing mine. I will help everyone who wants it when I finish healing, because I know from my lived experience what is desperately needed for other neurodivergent people like me. Everyone deserves to not have to absorb negativity and have that dominate their entire lives for life. Far too many suffering alone, I want upward spirals of healing for people instead of the downward spirals into nearly inescapable darkness. I send Light to All🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
@texasgigi3684
2 жыл бұрын
Easier said than done.
@uzmaahmed.catmoon
2 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@zeinaraya3761
2 жыл бұрын
Omg best advice ever at the right time! Thank you so much! You just help someone 🙏❤️
@romanticdonkey468
2 жыл бұрын
If a person’s negative emotions are unprovoked and unwarranted towards you, it’s best to let them stew in those emotions and not drag you down. The older you get, the more you’ll understand this.
@robinb.stewart1912
2 жыл бұрын
Perfectly said
@PamelaH_HappyVibes
2 жыл бұрын
It took me years to figure this out!
@luciboo1
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly I'm not in control of your feelings. Like the whole jealousy thing I'm good. A woman asked me was I pregnant. I never gave her any type of idea that I could be. But she was trying to tear me down. However I looked damn good that day and her one opinion would never have me giving a crap bout her feelings.
@sharonjohn4527
2 жыл бұрын
Hello dear let me refer you to the powerful relationship restorer, spiritualist who helped me get my partner back again with more love and commitment he can also help you and bless your life perfectly ❤️💖...,.,::
@sharonjohn4527
2 жыл бұрын
Whatapp,,,,:
@charledenne7613
2 жыл бұрын
One of the most dangerous phenomena of human social psychology is how we initially feel awe, admiration, and inspiration when hearing someone speak confidently about a topic, regardless of whether it's truthful or not. Always question what you hear.
@VioletFlame-Ivy
Жыл бұрын
This is very true. I disagree with this one. A lot of times your bf might think you made them feel jealous and he punches you in your face just because you are wearing a new dress. Thoughts create feelings, not people. Feelings are very personal and it all depends on the interpretation you give to any event. What Teal Swan is saying here is actually the mentality in abusive relationships where children and women blame themselves for the way their families treat them and feel about them.
@erdbeerzwiebel3404
Жыл бұрын
@@VioletFlame-Ivy Shut up. Dont project your problems on other situations. Obviously you understood absolutely nothing.
@VioletFlame-Ivy
Жыл бұрын
@@erdbeerzwiebel3404 Woah, you def. need to visit a psychologist. You are No one here to tell people to shut up. And people are Free to understand what they want.
@gmee123
Жыл бұрын
100% agree. This is circular reasoning that is flawed.
@j.rosadahlia3960
Жыл бұрын
Agree. Swan argument was flawed. To always think that people want to set us up all the time means we always throw our problem to other people because "they intend to set us up". 🙄
@caseyschuber3956
2 жыл бұрын
"For all you know, you could be walking into the room wearing something gorgeous and somebody could feel jealous. You made them feel jealous, right? Well, now they're going to do something to make you feel jealous." No. Absolutely not. YOU did not make them jealous. I think a better way to explain this theoretical scenario would be the following: For all you know, you could walk into a room wearing something gorgeous and somebody could get jealous. Their own insecurities have caused them to feel jealous and they are now going to project that insecurity onto you in an attempt to rob you of the self confidence that you have (and they lack), thus "evening the playing ground". If someone is showing signs of jealousy towards you, of course you can empathize with them but please do not take ownership of someone else's insecurity. That is their own responsibility.
@Chirpieshome
2 жыл бұрын
Well explained
@cayleighwolfbane1736
2 жыл бұрын
100% agreed
@deirdremorris9234
2 жыл бұрын
Facts!
@zamudiobeauty
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I’m not changing my ways to make them feel comfortable. They have work on growing. I feel bad that they are like that but they have to do the work to change their life.
@deladulce
2 жыл бұрын
Beautifully put👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I believe her intentions are good however, the way she explains it in the video can give some people a sense of entitlement to "put people down" just because they feel like it, instead of working on themselves and be better.
@Sampai91
2 жыл бұрын
Love it how she says you make solutions based on your feelings, IF you want to resolve a conflict. Just remember, you don't have to be friends with everyone.
@pangolin1489
3 жыл бұрын
i am in middle school and i have a friend who makes me very happy, she is the highlight of my day, so i do everything in my power to make her happy 💖
@marmi20031
2 жыл бұрын
Awesome 👍 rember always love your self and believe in yourself!!!
@robinblicharz3985
2 жыл бұрын
How do they make you happy? What happens when you stop making them happy?? Yea?!
@ELIASGTR
3 жыл бұрын
I partially agree. I feel this is only half true. Because It isnt always necessarily how you made them feel. They could be carrying that emotion from someone or somewhere else and projecting it onto you and trying to make you feel how they feel (like she said) . My point is, i dont agree with her when she says that how they feel is necessarily always caused by you but i do agree on the part that they are trying to make you feel how they feel.
@chelseabunker2391
3 жыл бұрын
This is absolutely true. Like someone being maybe mad about work, then stuck in horrible traffic, they're hungry, so they get home and snap at their spouse about dinner not being ready, when really they had a horrible day at work
@MaLiArtworks186
2 жыл бұрын
When my two children were each two years old, they threw their one and only tantrum in the middle of the mall. I got in the mall floor and acted just like them. They stopped and I told them that if they don't embarrass me, I won't embarrass them. The crowd around me clapped. Never had any other problems with temper tantrums.
@DanyDarling22
Жыл бұрын
😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 🎉 🎯 Right, treat ppl how you want to be treated!! The Golden Rule. Teach them early!! ❤️❤️❤️
@steffiekensley8743
Жыл бұрын
That's genius! ❤
@bananaberrywis.1697
Жыл бұрын
I am surprised two-year-olds can even get embarrassed?
@Pacu85198
Жыл бұрын
I saw that advert on tv too 😂
@Pacu85198
Жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/l6xp3Y17p4t8pag
@just5mil3z
2 жыл бұрын
This is the most powerful piece of information I have learned in a while.
@yoxall4559
3 жыл бұрын
I tell everyone about her and how she saved my life. I love this woman!
@brokenantler8039
3 жыл бұрын
The most important part of this video was said quickly. "If you want to resolve a conflict, all you have to do is figure out how you feel so you can figure out how they feel and then create your solution based off those emotions."
@carloscamacho1893
2 жыл бұрын
I do not agree at all. For example I can be in love with somebody and they not love me back. No matter what I do for that person to convince them to love me that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to feel the same way about me. I can give you a million reasons on why this Theory does not work be from the fact that everyone is different with the way they react and emotions they have.
@jacal420
2 жыл бұрын
She said a whole lot of nothing.
@Kris-737
2 жыл бұрын
Fk your feelings
@mluiga
2 жыл бұрын
If that's true I'm screwed. I know nothing about how my wife feels. So I ask her.
@Amanda-nu9zk
2 жыл бұрын
@@carloscamacho1893 she never said you can control how people feel, she said you can resolve conflicts if you understand those factors, and where their feelings are coming from. I think you misunderstood entirely. If someone doesn't love you back, you can resolve that by leaving. 😆
@circlesevendivination4928
2 жыл бұрын
The ultimate life hack. Since living in the law of attraction, this has really been a pivotal lesson in my life. And now I'm seeing a bright future for myself rather than one full of suffering. Thank you for making this so understandable
@lindseyhiebsch6322
2 жыл бұрын
Boom. It's that idea of reciprocation. Reaction from hurt feelings we cant even acknowledge
@reesewitherfork6142
3 жыл бұрын
If you’re wearing a nice dress and that makes someone else feel jealous… you didn’t make them feel jealous. That’s a reflection of something going on inside of them.
@tabiakhan9870
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly if you're wearing a new dress and walk into a room filled with people everyone is gonna have a different thought process. Some are gonna like it, some are gonna be jealous, some are not. This is very very generalized
@frumpyhairdontcare5253
3 жыл бұрын
Right? And if they're jealous of you, it's not your responsibility to make them feel better, so why do we need to make a "solution" for them? They need to assess their own feelings and address it themselves. Only they know themselves.
@Yeah_You_Thought
3 жыл бұрын
@@frumpyhairdontcare5253 I was looking for this comment!!! How is your feelings my fault! I didn't go out of my way to make you feel some type of way... I'm just wearing this outfit cuz I like it and maybe I feel cute in it
@Freespiritedqueen
3 жыл бұрын
This!!
@mushrooms4cookies
3 жыл бұрын
I think the point this is getting at is to encourage connectivity rather than disconnecting from people. If you can acknowledge and assist, why not do so? It can be difficult but it's possible. She's not saying you're responsible for someone's negative feelings but is basically saying that cause and effect exists, and as do resolutions to create peace. Simple as that. By essentially saying "that person is playing the victim/is victim to their own feelings", it sounds like your own buried victim mentality is defending itself and like you're trying to ensure you aren't put in the position of being/seeming like the bad guy (which isn't what she's saying either). Good and bad is irrelevant here, we're talking about problem solving and finding resolutions by reflecting in on oneself to help another. You don't have to, you don't have to do anything ever, but it's nice to be nice.
@smurfmama2020
3 жыл бұрын
A child throwing a fit only makes you feel what they feel (powerless in that example) if you haven’t done the work on yourself to process your own unhealed childhood powerlessness. A child throwing a fit when you’ve processed your pain can also make you feel strong, in control, assertive, nurturing, and like you have the power to remain peaceful and calm so the child can see you in your true power and feel safe.
@fiachef6284
3 жыл бұрын
Doesn't mean they're gonna stop throwing that tantrum tho
@theinvisiblewoman5709
3 жыл бұрын
As a second mom to my siblings, throwing a fit doesn’t phase me or my mother. Point being my siblings don’t throw fits because it will get them ignored and/or laughed at. I also only respond to them when they speak English to me, no baby talk/silent gestures/whining … people be letting they kids run the house
@Lemana28021989
3 жыл бұрын
@@theinvisiblewoman5709 ignoring children when they are upset is the worst one can do. It will cause them to be overwhelmed by whatever they are feeling (anger, sadness, frustration, ...) and lead to them growing into people that aren't able to handle their emotions properly, if at all, as they were never able to learn how. Always ask them why
@des8336
3 жыл бұрын
@@theinvisiblewoman5709 Nobody said to ignore your child, they’re saying to handle the situation in a calm matter. The choices should never be between abuse or neglect. There’s actual parenting. Hopefully when you’re old enough to have your own babies, you’ll understand that.
@user-mt6ye7qt8d
3 жыл бұрын
Ya I don't agree with this woman either...if I make you jealous when I walk in a room and you're attempting to make me jealous just because you got jealous when I walked in.. that's not me who needs to change and acknowledge emotions, that's their own fault for acting like a child.
@airshipswashbuckler6420
2 жыл бұрын
This is brilliant! I would add one more thing to this: it doesn’t have to be how YOU specifically made someone feel. It could be spill over from another situation with another person. Parents can take out their issues with each other on their kids, and vice versa.
@evaberriman9929
2 жыл бұрын
YES!!! They come into the room and still have that lingering emotion from what either just happened and you weren’t a witness of, or something unresolved they may have stuffed away and perhaps YOU are that safe person they can let it out with… dumping on you… or ‘lashing out’ at you. So what I am hearing from this video is to try to plug into my emotions and figure out: what am I feeling? And are these ‘my’ feelings or those around me? And then ‘how can I regulate?’ And ‘how can I co-regulate aka - work/model to the other what regulation looks like’.
@davidengholm3562
2 жыл бұрын
Yup...and the persons that do this all the time is covert narcissists!!!!
@Dojan5
2 жыл бұрын
I don’t really get it. When interacting with people in real, I never project my actual feelings. I always wear a happy, positive, and energetic façade. It’s not meant as deception, it was a survival thing I developed as a child, and it stuck.
@Mint_River11
2 жыл бұрын
It's called karma, baby
@t.n.m.samuel2984
2 жыл бұрын
All conflicts stem from secrets
@staceyjustus8543
2 жыл бұрын
Wow I really appreciate that, I love to hear perspectives that have never entered my mind before.
@heikika6078
3 жыл бұрын
Feeling insecure… making others feel insecure…so logic!!!!!
@sanah5863
3 жыл бұрын
She’s over complicating it. Trust your intuition. If you have a feeling about someone go with it. Boundaries are important too.
@Holistic-Hallucinations
3 жыл бұрын
You just dont understand what shes actually saying lmao
@aprilswandal2141
2 жыл бұрын
I have this saying or motto I am only in control of my own reactions and emotions. No one else, so if I choose to be mad, hurt, angry… it’s because I choose to be not you. Once you can learn this things become so much clearer and relationships easier but only if the person is self aware of their own reactions.
@MrRabiddogg
Жыл бұрын
This is really good advise. A great leader knows how to make their people feel confident in success. Alexander led from the front.
@jomama2645
3 жыл бұрын
This also applies to positive emotions. If someone does something amazing for someone, you typically see the person smothering them with “thank you” and trying to give them money. People want people to feel the same emotions, positive or negative.
@johngabriel7596
2 жыл бұрын
Lol .... jo momma.... classic
@smokeytwo7648
2 жыл бұрын
Sublime
@clasher6124
2 жыл бұрын
Nailed it. I always knew it. A relationship is a mirror.
@martinramirez2204
2 жыл бұрын
If your intention are to make yourself feel better
@gurleen2443
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah I think emotionally it’s a mirror
@ameliaunderwood9534
2 жыл бұрын
No it isn't. This woman is insane.
@rachel4339
2 жыл бұрын
@@ameliaunderwood9534 lol insane? Like she thinks the underwear gnomes and the fairies are going to steal her cheese and send secret messages to her in her oatmeal? I doubt that very much.
@ameliaunderwood9534
2 жыл бұрын
@@rachel4339 What you described isn't insanity. That's profit, lol
@bloodcarnage8285
3 жыл бұрын
She is so underrated.. boost her.. 🔥
@Drvm614
3 жыл бұрын
🤞🏾🤞🏾
@Kennedy1op
3 жыл бұрын
@Saerdna Vokram why?
@siadawn
3 жыл бұрын
@James Buckingham For someone with only 3 subscribers (and zero videos), you sure are full of yourself - you make some very *bold* claims. Where's the backing for those claims?? I'd like to 'see' you surpass Teal on _any_ sort of wisdom... (other than your hot-air claims, that is)...
@vanessakeller4543
3 жыл бұрын
@James Buckingham the arrogance is so OFFPUTTING...if she touches a HEART...let it happen..people are all learning and evolving at different rates...ONE LOVE ❤ ✌
@hvnkrod
3 жыл бұрын
@James Buckingham lol shut up no ones gonna read that
@markjohnson2380
Жыл бұрын
Open minded in a wellspring of unconditional love and happiness. Give more than you receive because what you receive is plenty in it's simplicity. From this world we leave as we came. Yet we don't have to leave but man's not ready for that conversation.
@42Carrot
3 жыл бұрын
So true about the children. I was tired living my life. Everything was looking black and white. I never like kids but fate worked better. I had to work in a kindergarten. It was then I realized feeling their excitement of learning new things, of telling their stories and when they are playing also make me excited. I was so happy. Yes, kids are not easy to handle but learn and you'll be able to get all the positive energy from them. During that time colours start to come back in my life. It was a fun time. It was then I knew the reason I'm tired was because I made myself mingle with energy sucking people.
@Turnpost2552
2 жыл бұрын
naaaa, if I got excited about Computer Science I doubt my buildong Architect of a sister would be interested or exicted as I am about the topic.
@seaglass1111
3 жыл бұрын
I feel the way that she feels when she made me feel that I felt what she feels about that feeling.
@randyweisbin9605
3 жыл бұрын
Sea glass: 😂. She lost me by the last bit. Who’s on first?
@seaglass1111
3 жыл бұрын
@@randyweisbin9605 what's on first!
@midnitemoon577
3 жыл бұрын
That's exactly how I "felt" trying to figure out what the heck she was saying. Lol
@I_love_melanie_martinez-u8o
3 жыл бұрын
LOL
@mangoheartss
3 жыл бұрын
Lmfaoooo same
@abracabadass
3 жыл бұрын
I love this. It may not be the case in every situation, but it's always a good practice to think about how you're feeling and how the other person is feeling.
@user-tb5wc9yy8o
7 ай бұрын
this just completely blew my mind and shattered my old world view. WOW. thank you!!!!
@Rakemmy
2 жыл бұрын
The point made about people setting up others to express how they feel is interesting. But, you can’t make people feel anything for the most part. Jealously comes from a individual’s insecurities that are based on a accumulation of negative experiences that’s been collected over time.
@rainbowrider17
2 жыл бұрын
That part
@ruthh3496
2 жыл бұрын
I don't think that was her point tho, I think she was just saying that all ppl feel emotions based off of external influences or factors that get processed thru one's own mind & perspective that gets formed thru experiences like u mentioned, mostly in early childhood & stuff, & that one of those factors is other ppl, including urself, & that the more ur aware of that the more u'll be able to easily understand ppl & navigate situations easier
@g_aware_nerd
2 жыл бұрын
agreed. She could have worded this differently, no1 can make any1 feel or think anything. However I do agree that given emotional data, if you value the relationship or want to navigate the situation in a mature way, the approach she's given CAN work.
@jammars8644
2 жыл бұрын
Very well said
@jammars8644
2 жыл бұрын
@@ruthh3496 yes, i agree. You will be able to navigate social situations easier if you're aware. But is it your problem if someone is jealous of you? Or your obligation to find a solution because they're immature, insecure, or can't check their own emotions? And what's the deal with comparing a child's emotional situation with an adults? Those are two very different things, or at least should be. Are you affected the same by fear, regret, or happiness as an adult the same way you were as a child? The emotion is the same, but the personal reaction and reflex is different, or should be. If not, then you haven't experienced anything in life and you're still a child.
@jeffgarrison7056
2 жыл бұрын
Perfectly said. I hope everyone paid very close attention and remember the very last part... If so, Humanity could make a huge leap in spiritual, emotional, personal and social maturity.
@billzthagreat6673
2 жыл бұрын
Lmfap I don't know what planet you're on but it's way more fucked up than what you think it is, most people know the surface 10 percent of how fucked up everything is and I mean EVERYTHING
@TRafael82
3 жыл бұрын
She talks like its always the case but that's not true. It also depends on many other factors. Like how big is your self-esteem or your self-confidence at the moment. That can make you withstand what the other tries to push on you. How they feel.
@Mr.Honest247
3 жыл бұрын
Critical thought is not allowed, she’s supposed to be 100% right lol.
@sonkeschmidt2027
3 жыл бұрын
If another person tries to make you feel bad and you try to resist that push... Then you are not necessarily self confident. Because you are fighting the other, you resist, so they do have power over you and you try to overpower them back. With that you are doing exactly what she said, the other person makes you feel uncomfortable so you push back to make them feel uncomfortable. If you truly have the "self esteem that you are talking about, then there is nothing left inside you to resist. There is no anger, no fear, no inadequacy, nothing that needs to defend itself... Then the other person can rage at you, curse you, blame you and all that you give back is compassion.
@Moesie
3 жыл бұрын
If you make them sad and angry that because its your fault, if your joking arround ut if theyre jelouse than its their fault sometimes your parents get mad you didnt get an A at school those parent can die painfully
@aCID990
3 жыл бұрын
If you partner has BPD please seek help. You are being a victim.
@CarolineD4
3 жыл бұрын
I think she means that behavior can be seen to be inténded to make you feel xyz. So with the jealousy example, you look gorgeous and the other person starts bragging to you. Maybe that didnt make you feel jealous but you can think ''aha! maybe theyre intimidated by me and now trying (and succeding or failing, doesnt matter) to make me feel that too''
@NightRunner417
Жыл бұрын
I was following Teal for some time a couple of years ago and sort of drifted away. I'm not sure why. Wasn't the right time, maybe. Anyway, I'm back now and much better for it. Teal is a neverending fountain of beauty, warmth and wisdom.
@crystalmckinneycoaches
3 жыл бұрын
I don’t make people feel jealous, they choose to feel jealous. I can look the same way walking around all day and maybe only 1 person will get jealous. This is their personal problem. I may not even be aware of it when or if they TRY to make me feel jealous in return. My state of mind and emotions will help me to also feel jealous or not jealous at all. This doesn’t work for me but I guess others are relating to it. Too many people play head games and I don’t have time for it. I’m happy and healthy in my emotional state so it can be difficult to get stuck on other peoples negative emotions.
@marama49cabrera57
3 жыл бұрын
Beautiful. I will keep your version.
@ashadams784
3 жыл бұрын
But I don't think anyone choses to be jealous tho that's why jealous ppl I think get upset because no one likes that feeling.. That's y some ppl try to make u feel it bk.. Make u feel as insecure as they do. Other than that I agree with this statement
@AProv31Wm
3 жыл бұрын
I am not a jealous person, so I am happy for others when they are blessed. I guess that upsets people because I don't follow to fit in. I am who I am and really enjoy helping others. Strong personality and good at a lot of things, so people want me there for them, but can't reciprocate.
@pattiepepper6217
3 жыл бұрын
I think she's talking in the context of a relationship.
@morgenmachen2400
3 жыл бұрын
100% . That's THEIR insecurity. I don't like this clip. It absolves an individual of their personal responsibility. Oh, 'you MADE someone abuse you?' Naw..nope. You. Are. Not. Responsible. For. The. Actions. Of. Others👏👏👏 this is nonsense.
@durrulislam8801
2 жыл бұрын
Amazing analogy!! Simple explanation to understand the other person's emotion.. once u understand the emotion the next step is to understand their trigger/situation to find a resolution.
@ashleyreacts8954
2 жыл бұрын
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@_Whereartdwells
2 жыл бұрын
Yes!
@passedoutsober6322
3 жыл бұрын
You and peterson are the only mentors I need at this moment of time in my life.
@georgiajackson7462
2 жыл бұрын
Me too
@80beanz
2 жыл бұрын
So sad
@passedoutsober6322
2 жыл бұрын
@@80beanz what is?
@adamrisko7641
10 ай бұрын
Plus, if you walk in a room wearing a gorgeous dress and they become jealous. You didn’t make them feel jealous, they made themselves feel jealous. You are in charge of your inner state. No one else is.
@semantixthasorcera
3 жыл бұрын
When one of my children are "throwing a fit" it does not make me feel powerless in the slightest, in fact it's the opposite, as I take that opportunity to speak to them in a calm manner to help them change their vibration. They can go from crying to laughing in seconds from the power of my words and actions, that is not being powerless. Also you cannot make people feel any emotion, that is down to the actual being choosing that themselves. If someone walked into a room in nice shoes it's up to me to decide how I feel about that, I can choose to feel jealous or I can appreciate the shoes, or feel completely indifferent, it is totally my choice.
@FlyingSQUIRRILLLS
3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you are already very self aware and emotions aware of others. I guess this video applies to people who don’t know this yet.
@Natashahoneypot
3 жыл бұрын
I agree with you. Human behaviour and personality is more complex
@royedwards51
3 жыл бұрын
Feel better, Honey Boo Boo?
@crezariolacanadalife9580
3 жыл бұрын
I don't get jealous at all if someone has new stuff or better than me. Instead I'm appreciative!!! SO, U ARE RIGHT. IT DEPENDS TO WHO U ARE. WHAT U CHOOSE TO DO. ITS U, UR ATTITUDE AND PERSONALITY.
@emeryn1736
3 жыл бұрын
No one’s perfect
@chelseabunker2391
3 жыл бұрын
My emotions are only based on my experiences, not others. If I feel one way, and assume that's how someone else feels, that's purely subjective assumption not based on truth. Communicating is how conflict is resolved, not assuming or changing our (not toxic) behavior to make someone else feel better. I'm not going to change my gorgeous outfit just because someone else is jealous. If they are jealous, that is a them problem and a maturity/insecurity issue.
@Ana-ty8sl
3 жыл бұрын
I don’t think that is the point, she never said she changed her clothes, she allows that other person to feel that jealousy, she just changes her perspective.
@BeccyBum
3 жыл бұрын
@@Ana-ty8sl I think a lot of people are missing the point here!
@sanah5863
3 жыл бұрын
You nailed it! Instead of feeling let’s communicate! This is toxic
@nosiphodywili35
3 жыл бұрын
@@Ana-ty8sl yes and I think most people who are jealous of you try to make you feel bad about yourself. In that instance .. When they try to make you feel bad about yourself it's how they actually feel about themselves.. So it's always good not to take anything personally.
@lizicadumitru9683
3 жыл бұрын
@@BeccyBum What is her point?
@angelnichols5408
2 жыл бұрын
I think a fundamental flaw of this theory is that it relies on: A) Every person in the conflict knows precisely how they feel about the situation, B) Which can then be used as an accurate gauge for every other person, as every person is operating from an average “healthy” mental and emotional state wherein no emotions or behaviors will be skewed by development, instability, disorder, or sickness. I would hazard a guess that this theory could potentially work out about 65% of the time.
@wayzUX
2 жыл бұрын
100% Agree.
@nancyaccomandoqhht4048
Жыл бұрын
I love this point, such a valuable tool for all to have! Thanks Teal! ❤
@idoluvthetubes
3 жыл бұрын
You know it's wisdom when it feels profound and oh so simple at the same time. Applies to the big and small at the same time.
@starlightanddreams1317
3 жыл бұрын
This just made me realize how unheard a certain person makes me feel. This is why I avoid talking to them. Really short clip. Deeply insightful.
@CLAUDIALAMY
2 жыл бұрын
Can you elaborate Cassandra? How it relates to what she said.
@starlightanddreams1317
2 жыл бұрын
@@CLAUDIALAMY she said that consciously or unconsciously we treat a person who does something to us the same way in return. Sorry if i didn't explain it well. But that's what I took out of this snippet.
@cameronhogue7980
2 жыл бұрын
Emotional intelligence is considered to be one of the most important intelligences. Can have ton of knowledge in a general sense, but without an adequate understanding of emotional intelligence, given uncomfortable/pressure factors and without stress skills and emotional intelligence, all that vast knowledge (in a general sense) will go right out the window for the most part
@katherinestewart7573
2 жыл бұрын
This is sooo true. I've learned as an adult that I have basically NO coping skills or emotional intelligence and learned horrible, horrible communication and interpersonal skills yet always was an above average student and consider myself fairly intelligent. Its a constant battle to learn how to adult.
@mauriciogutierrez580
2 жыл бұрын
Emotional intelligence is a paradoxical elaboration created to explain control of feelings and emotions when intuition and reaction are triggered.
@beyondlimits697
2 жыл бұрын
Well said
@thinking4myself676
2 жыл бұрын
🎯
@ModernDayRenaissanceMan
11 ай бұрын
PERFECT! Ive always said to my women... "Im a mirror for you. If Im mad its because you mad me mad. If Im happy you made me happy. Just look at me & you'll see yourself."
@ABirdOnTheMoon
3 жыл бұрын
I have Teal in my life since 2014 and I thought I heard it all but nope .. she continues to remind me of things I forgot I learnt .. it’s amazing but we humans need a lot to learn and evolve. We need repetition and reminders ❤️
@nd612
2 жыл бұрын
Anyone can remind you of things you forgot just by having lots of conversations with them.
@derbygirle
2 жыл бұрын
I think this is brilliant. Wow. I just want to listen to this on loop until it is ingrained in my brain. 💜👌🏻
@AEChronicler
3 жыл бұрын
This takes away personal responsibility. You still have a choice to do something or not. Feelings aren't always the best source of reason or judgement.
@n1sugarbaby69
3 жыл бұрын
This
@LunaBroadwayVT
3 жыл бұрын
No, it doesn't
@lizicadumitru9683
3 жыл бұрын
You reason with and make judgments about the feelings you have not the other way around.
@silenceafterviolence2596
3 жыл бұрын
Your "interpretation"? Nice ig, maby she'll get thru too you an not your ego. ☯
@tense99
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah she seems to be talking more to women than men because most of the time, men don't have the luxury to act on their emotions particularly when they are surrounded by people that do.
@3t-sm954
2 жыл бұрын
Extremely helpful; children are a challenge emotionally. thank goodness
@jaimealqahtani6394
2 жыл бұрын
Damn, that helped me with my own self growth… I’ve been doing this unintentionally my whole life 🥺
@soblsd224
3 жыл бұрын
If you want to resolve conflict: Figure out how you feel, realize that’s how you’re making them feel, then make your solution based off those emotions specifically
@matsauvagea
2 жыл бұрын
This sounds like a very circular reasoning. I walked into a room waering a gorgeous outfit and I made you feel jealous? No you're petty you feel jealous because you're petty and I'm not responsible for how you feel but if everyone follows this logic everyone is chasing a ghost this person made me feel this way so that must be my fault ? And how do I fix it? Yeah thanks no thanks
@matsauvagea
2 жыл бұрын
No sorry I don't feel powerless if my little one is having a fit I'll bring her to a quite place and tell her she can have all the fit she wants but she's not going to disturb everyone else (at the dinner table for example) and that when she's ready to come back we'll all be there
@franko6153
2 жыл бұрын
For example?
@rachel4339
2 жыл бұрын
@@matsauvagea it's not about taking responsibility for how others feel, it's about recognizing that if somebody is lashing out at you or throwing a fit or being petty, they're actually communicating to you how they feel without explicitly saying "I'm jealous" or "I'm angry" or what have you. If you can start to recognize that people's behavior towards you is actually about them and *not* you, you become able to detach yourself from your own knee jerk reactions and start a dialogue instead.
@ChristineExpressions
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah need an example, please.
@shanzbe5794
2 жыл бұрын
I love this.. it creates deep thought for sure. My husbands saying has always been “I can’t MAKE you feel anything”. In reality it’s true. Like the saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. So anyway I’m stuck on that , that we own our own perceptions and emotions. Etc. idk 🤷🏼♀️
@jennyc5037
2 жыл бұрын
This is usually said by mental and psychological abusers after saying something demeaning, controlling or hurtful. Its a grooming technique as well. This type of information can be discussed or explained by a professional but if your partner or any significant person in your life is saying it to you after treating you a certain way right before then don't believe it. We feel each emotion for specific reasons but noone has the right other than yourself to tell you whether and how they effect you.
@misstigerbubbles
2 жыл бұрын
But people can make others feel Inferior with or without my consent... Otherwise no one would have any insecurities
@lj7169
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah I've never liked the 'they can't make you feel a certain way, only you can do that" thing. Always sounded like victim-blaming to me.
@staceyg9122
2 жыл бұрын
I hate it when someone tells me I MADE them feel a certain way!
@blankchaos
2 жыл бұрын
Always think so but never get the words to express it.....well said
@Beka_Rex
3 жыл бұрын
I have a husband with depression and a daughter with anxiety…… this video really hit me. I think I will be able to handle things far differently now. Thank you!!’
@Beka_Rex
2 жыл бұрын
@You Tube oh yeah absolutely. I caused my husbands appendix to burst, and then I made the wound septic from miles away while he was in hospital, I then caused his organs to fail with sheer thought, which led to him not being able to work which resulted in depression. Then with my amazing mind power I forced an autoimmune disease on my daughter which resulted in many frightening hospital stays and procedures for a kid, which resulted in anxiety. I totally did that. I’m hugely talented 😂🤪
@Laurel-Crowned
2 жыл бұрын
You should look into amino acids! Specifically dpla and 5htp and maybe the essentials as well. Natural and effective! And God is the best medicine 🙌🏽 Isaiah 26:3-4 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.🙌🏽
@Beka_Rex
2 жыл бұрын
@@Laurel-Crowned Are you serious? God is the best medicine? Are you for real? 🤦🏻♀️
@jacal420
2 жыл бұрын
@@Beka_Rex her name is Wind Storm. What did u expect😶
@jacal420
2 жыл бұрын
lol. Yes you're cured. All the world has been cured by these words of wisdom.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@mc36020
3 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this. It really makes so much sense. Having a hard time in my current relationship. Admitting that I may be sabotaging it because I feel less than is hard to admit. Time to make things right and grow up. ❤
@brendantoto2719
2 жыл бұрын
😊 I'll share this just cause that's how I felt and yes..I'm setting you up👌
@Kmecha84
2 жыл бұрын
Have you talked to him about what you mentioned here?
@dr.zoidberg5096
2 жыл бұрын
@@Kmecha84 this is immeasurably important. It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t mention it to him.
@yoboi13
3 жыл бұрын
No one has the power to MAKE anyone FEEL anything. People feel certain ways based on how those around them treated them, typically, in childhood. The flaw in her statement, is that one person’s behaviors create another persons emotions. That is a depowering ideology and its false. My outfit doesn’t affect your emotions… your insecurity about how I look affects your emotions.
@ddc_3337
3 жыл бұрын
You're going back in circles. People DO actually have the power to make you feel something. Take for instance you're going to a wedding where everyone is dressed for their best. If you show up in just pajamas and a hoodie, of course you're going to feel awkward. Did you FORCE yourself into feeling awkward? No. Did the other people force you to feel awkward? No. But did they have the power to do so? Yes. (And if you wouldn't feel awkward at all, buddy, either you dont give an f to anything, or something's happening👀)
@Callimo
3 жыл бұрын
I mean yes and no. We are social creatures and everything we do is affected by how we were brought up and also our own internal wirings. It's like the debate of whether we have "free will" or not. Now, as to your arguement that this ideology is disempowering, I don't see her saying that you have to surrender to these reflected emotions, but the more you realize where tf they're coming from, you can make a plan to overcome them. I mean, if someone you had a crush on rejected your advances, someone in tune with their emotions would be able to parse that feeling of rejection not as a slight to their entire being but just someone who doesn't think of them in the way as they do. It doesn't make you weak to realise that rejection sucks.
@sayittomyfaceortapglassfar4392
3 жыл бұрын
@@Callimo you articulated that so wonderfully I wanted to read more. Are you a writer and philosopher? I'd like more of your insight.
@user-pampam70634
3 жыл бұрын
I agree that insecurities can definitely make one feel less than, when it comes to a woman walking in a room looking absolutely beautiful. It isn't her fault she is gorgeous, it would be my insecurities that would make me feel any certain way. But on the other hand, people can have a lot to do with how you feel, depending on the situation. It is up to us to not allow it to become a problem in our minds. How do we do that? I wish I knew!
@RobrinLayona
3 жыл бұрын
Key words "set you up"
@eviedaniela
2 жыл бұрын
One of the four agreements: "don't take anything personally." Very freeing way to live
@Ikissedarose
3 жыл бұрын
Children mirror your emotions. That’s why it’s important to teach conflict resolution
@Assyriska91
2 жыл бұрын
Children often show their emotions in a different way and will be easier to read, unlike a adult person. Doing this metod is the right thing, IF u actually know what the problem and reason is.... what happens if what you/they feel is completely different than what they/you thought they/you would feel and made a wrong read? A tip is to ask what THEY feel the problem is and what triggered it and how THEY feel it can be fixed. Because what YOU think it will take to be solved haven't worked many times before apparently, then just ask them what they think instead and try to find a solution together. If it's you wanting something, you tell them straight up what it is, how many times have you heard "I had no idea you felt like that", is because most of us suck at going straight to the problem and insyed try to make the other one to figure it out by themselves.
@amealeatoire2057
2 жыл бұрын
.
@exhater7820
3 жыл бұрын
This is why acknowledging their feeelings and expressing that to them works
@Kozy894
3 жыл бұрын
I don’t get that though using the example she gave about looking amazing and making someone else feel jealous why should I acknowledge their feelings? if they are CHOOSING to feel jealous I'd personally feel indifferent I don't have the time or energy to validate someone by acknowledging their jealousy if they have the capability to feel jealous then they should also have the ability to work on their self-esteem I shouldn't have to react/reflect to anyone's emotions be it positive or negative as a person with free will I get to choose how I feel towards someone and choosing to not react at all is also valid.
@mary2594
3 жыл бұрын
If they listen. My Family doesn’t especially mother and I don’t spend energy on making people listen once I realize it.
@exhater7820
3 жыл бұрын
@@Kozy894 i was talking about people in some sort of relationship . If you care about someone you would want to know about their feelings . I don't think we can control our negative feelings and voicing them to the people we love is far different from expressing a point of you . You are just seeking to be seeing and it requires an amount of vulnerability which create trust and understanding.
@zacharywoodford8530
2 жыл бұрын
@@Kozy894 we don't choose to feel anything, emotions and feelings aren't choices we make. You can choose to repress those feelings but you still have feelings about things with no control over it
@josemontanez811
Жыл бұрын
This women is so intelligent it’s unbelievable !!!! There’s not to many people let alone females that I can listen to an actually learn from!!! Watching her videos have made me a better Human/Man/Spirit!!!! She is a blessing to this world!!!!! 🙏🏽
@gpistilli121
2 жыл бұрын
Nobody has the power to make anybody feel anything. That is one of the major problems blaming other people for how you feel or what you do or what you say. Be accountable for your own emotional reactions and well-being.
@thenew6424
2 жыл бұрын
Not enough time or crayons to explain this. Lol
@alexcampbell7847
2 жыл бұрын
Ok Gayle
@jamie-leighvandiemen139
2 жыл бұрын
Yes!!! This exactly
@ChanChan-ux8nn
2 жыл бұрын
You’re missing the social and neurological standpoint in all of this
@avant8039
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. How can i blame others for my emotions or be blamed by theirs? It's BS. So if i arrive home and my husband is angry because he had an issue with his boss, and makes my life a living hell, making me upset, should i go scream to my husband's boss, or maybe tell him to be mature enough to acknowledge his feelings and stop making everybody miserable ?
@anothersimulacrum3321
2 жыл бұрын
Something here doesn't add up... Like... Who is the one setting the other up? Me or the other person? If I'm feeling a certain way is it because of myself or because the other person wants me to feel that way? What was the dominant emotion anyway? An indicator could be that my mood changes while there is another person in the room I'm dealing with. But still, I can't be a 100% sure, can I? And then there's people who are just way less empathetic than others. They won't mirror emotions as much. I'm not convinced that this approach is helpful during most conflicts. You'll end up talking yourself into feeling or sensing things that aren't really there.
@Feywildd
2 жыл бұрын
Teal Swan carries herself as some sort of spiritual teacher or psychologist when she doesn’t have any formal teaching on the matter. She bugs me because her stuff is so BS and just because of how she carries herself, people eat it up.
@allisonvega8025
2 жыл бұрын
Choosing the way you want to feel is your choice . being offended or not is a choice. everything we want to feel is a choice. It's all on how we control our emotions and empathize with others. we all have different feelings and ideas that we could agree and disagree .we can't control the way some people feel. Sometimes it's best to let it go. I hope that makes sense.
@anothersimulacrum3321
2 жыл бұрын
@@allisonvega8025 Your comment is actually much better advise. Thoughts and emotions are just permanently computed by the brain and swept onto the shores of our consciousness. To develop the skill to consciously accept or reject certain emotions or thoughts is much more helpful than trying to track down their source.
@dong5774
2 жыл бұрын
@@allisonvega8025 it’s crazy how wrong your first comment is. You can’t control how you feel you can control what you do about it. If u get mad and then say no I’m not. Yes you are. You just chose not to stay there. The initial feeling can not be controlled. It’s what happens after where control begins. And where do u draw the line. For example where’s the line between someone’s too sensitive and someone else’s too aggressive? Is the weather too cold or you’re just accustomed to warmer climates. Humans are far too complicated to get a one answer fits all in terms of WHY we do what we do. Case in point when my son throws a tantrum i don’t feel powerless. I establish that feeling a way is one thing but tantrums aren’t an effective method of dealing with said emotions. You’re reasoning for actions, mine and hers are all different and THAT should be the focus.
@angelac273
2 жыл бұрын
@@Feywildd just looked her up and read this: “Teal Swan is an American spiritual teacher. Swan's teachings on how to manage mental health issues have often been described as unconventional and potentially hazardous and has received criticism for how she attracts fans” Did not know this, I’ve been following her thinking she was some type of qualified therapist! My own fault! Think how many others she’s sucking in. She comes across with such confidence that you have no reason to doubt her, that’s why I started following. Thanks for that info!
@MonkyDollqueen
2 жыл бұрын
The broken will always be able to love harder than most because once you've been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines
@lilndnfeather
2 жыл бұрын
Oh shut up. Spewing quotes is so annoying. Be original.
@Jadebones
2 жыл бұрын
The longer you're in the dark, the more any brightness will hurt your eyes. Which eventually leads to smashing even the dimmest of bulbs. 💡
@markp6062
7 ай бұрын
This is INCREDIBLY insightful. Well done!
@luminariastormreaver
2 жыл бұрын
Hmm, I feel conflicted. To me, this feels a little over simplified.
@wrackable
2 жыл бұрын
She’s a child and doesn’t understand human interactions
@superfluff106
2 жыл бұрын
I think it was meant to be.
@kingdee5388
2 жыл бұрын
@@wrackable this is human psychology
@raneanubis
2 жыл бұрын
Well it’s a KZitem short, there’s 10x more detail missing
@DaleisDaBeast
2 жыл бұрын
She’s like one of those motivational speakers who talks for hours but doesn’t really say anything of meaning.
@ANGIE-up1tv
2 жыл бұрын
If I walk into a room wearing a gorgeous outfit and a person feels jealous, then I know I must look fantastic. I would absolutely feel great not jealous back.
@TheDeadofNightAmbience
2 жыл бұрын
She never said it would make you feel jealous. She said the jealous person would then do something to make you feel jealous. In a relationship, a person is much more likely to know that will make you feel jealous. It's the emotion that's the link between two people, not the act.
@ANGIE-up1tv
2 жыл бұрын
@@TheDeadofNightAmbience Same thing NO???
@TASmith-ou3is
2 жыл бұрын
If a person thinks you look nice, but feels the need to "retaliate" by making you jealous of them, I would say that's an insecure person.
@karlamfh835
2 жыл бұрын
@@ANGIE-up1tv it's not the same thing. What she means is that they would try to make you jealous but she isn't saying that they will be successful in making you feel that way.
@ANGIE-up1tv
2 жыл бұрын
@@karlamfh835 Yes same thing. Only an insecure, critical believer in one's self worth would try to do something back at me to make me feel jealous because someone took a look at me and felt jealous. I can look in the mirror and love who is looking back at me. This whole topic is stupid.
@barraal1713
2 жыл бұрын
GENIUS. ❤️ I’ve been having a bad time due to personal conflicts and this really clears things. Thank you ❤️
@nike8276
2 жыл бұрын
i think there's definitely some truth to that. Thank you!
@aditirajput3021
2 жыл бұрын
Until two years ago, I would have felt that she’s wrong about how to “deal” with such situations as it’s not my responsibility to take care of someone else’s emotions and they should be mature enough to deal with it themselves (which is true in some situations). But after dating my boyfriend, I realized that because he loves and cares for me so much that he would be attentive towards my reaction or feelings about a particular thing he does and I didn’t like. But only because I was vocal about how I felt, he understood, so this has to go both ways. It’s not fair to make someone else feel jealous or depressed because you are. Even if it’s because of them.
@dalebowry9152
2 жыл бұрын
That's a very helpful anecdote and a good way to address your growth as a person.
@kizzyface5653
Жыл бұрын
As a neurodivergent individual, I have found this extremely eye opening and mind blowing. 😵💫 Still working on recognizing my own emotions so, I can see how this has had a huge impact on my relationships. Thanks for explaining it in such a concise manner!
@rachelciel3330
3 жыл бұрын
This video makes me realize that. When I throw a fit to my parent, it's because I feel helpless and lost, subconsciously I want them to feel it too so they don't pressure me. When I got mad at my sister for her careless tantrum, I threw a bigger fit. It's quite a frequent pattern. I'm making them feel the way I feel, they're making me feel they way they feel.
@rubytuesday9831
2 жыл бұрын
This is deep this can be applied to all aspects of life since the 1500s so in the end we were right all along wow...
@suigenris
2 жыл бұрын
This absolves people from choosing or managing their own emotions. Your emotional outlook is based on a perspective you’ve chosen. If someone is jealous they’ve chosen to feel they lack something someone else has. Mind reading insecurities is not a virtuous solution, it’s enabling.
@DispensingLight
2 жыл бұрын
What a powerful lesson to learn in just 59 seconds!. Thank you...
@vanness3859
2 жыл бұрын
God this is SO true.I am learning this in my older age and being a mother.I have taken on a completely different reaction to my sons tantrums by not instantly reacting back in anger and frustration like he is it has changed so much in only positive ways.
@skyyy710
2 жыл бұрын
For children maybe but not adults lol screw adults let them throw fits let them be jelous thats all on them they are in control of their emotions children are not
@uncreativename4249
2 жыл бұрын
I have two younger siblings and I absolutely agree. Considering there's such a large age gap (13yrs) between me and my little brother, I'm essentially their second caretaker. Even if everyone else is home and supposed to be in charge of them, if mom's not home, they look for me if they need something. So I'm having to deal with their tantrums and such, and for a while I would get so angry. But as my little brother gets old, I realized I'm also seeing, from an outside perspective, how my mother and father treated me when I was younger. When that realization hit me, I gained so much more patience with them.
@skyyy710
2 жыл бұрын
@@uncreativename4249 sounds like you have parentfication or lil wife syndrome not good not good at all
@felicialally5703
2 жыл бұрын
To me this boils down to both empathy and self awareness. Most people just flow with emotions without thinking intentionally about what they're actually feeling, and even rarer what the other person's feeling.
@garylangstaffjr2055
3 жыл бұрын
Holy crap Teal thank you for this. I have been in a internal conflict with myself about feelings & recent friendships. I really do appreciate this video a lot. Going to spend all weekend reflecting this for a better way than walking away.
@agataolejarczyk1496
2 жыл бұрын
Not for me. When my son was having tantrum (or something) I had all the power. I had power to help him deal with his emotions. Usually I just hugged him and talked to him but sometimes (at home) we screamed.
@blakejames9743
2 жыл бұрын
"I had power to help him deal with his emotions." That's exactly what she meant with step 3.
@CelticViking4747
2 жыл бұрын
Yea, this lady is completely wrong. Nobody “makes” you feel anything. If you let others dictate your emotions then you’re already powerless. You should always solve conflicts through communication, especially with children. What she’s telling parents to do is the exact reason why parents of children who harm themselves or others always proclaim “they had no idea” their child was going through a difficult time, because their children would learn to see them as emotionally selfish and not understanding. Therefore, causing them to bottle things up and hide their emotions instead of confiding in their parents.
@blakejames9743
2 жыл бұрын
@@CelticViking4747 You're completely missing the point of the exercise. It's not about assigning blame to those who make you feel, it's about self reflection. How you make other people feel is how they reflect that feeling back to you. Ever had someone jealous of you and treat you unfairly?Also, you may not continuously be aware of this, but you're being influenced by other people everyday and they are making you feel certain states probably without you realizing this. If someone decided to walk up and punch you in your face, you're saying you won't be emotionally affected by that, right?
@staceyg9122
2 жыл бұрын
@@blakejames9743 a punch is physical, so yeah they made you hurt! If somebody says something mean, and upsets you, then yes you're upset because of their actions but they didn't MAKE you feel upset, how you react to things is personal and different for everyone, you choose whether to let what somebody else says or does impact you, feel upset or ignore them and carry on with your day.
@blakejames9743
2 жыл бұрын
@@staceyg9122 1.) The punch hurt, but your emotional reaction is what puts you in fight or flight mode. That punch was the catalyst to your emotional change, not you, so yes it did influence you. What you decide to do after the punch is in your control, but not before. There's good news though: You can train yourself to refrain from emotional reaction, but it's not something that comes natural to humans. 2.) That's true, but you're forgetting that we as humans are reacting all the time, most of it is subconscious programming. You are in control of the emotions that you're aware of, but there's more programming running you than you think. People are programmed to love certain stores, books or foods, and that is driven by societal perception, upbringing and commercial marketing strategy. Most of what you "think" you are was fed to you as a child growing up. Nothing wrong with it though.
@fishouttawtr
2 жыл бұрын
This is precisely why the Bible says: the human heart is deceitful above all else, who can know it...while the world is constantly telling us to follow our hearts! Our emotions cause wickedness!
@jamesgardner1875
2 жыл бұрын
Amen
@aaronyeh3652
2 жыл бұрын
🤪
@dubwerks6555
2 жыл бұрын
Yes 👍🏽
@Mangotropolis
2 жыл бұрын
Wait, this could be a great argument for lobotomies. So- No, emotions are not what cause wickedness. Not learning how to deal with your emotion is what gives way to those negative reactions, be it jealousy, desire to cause pain, etc.
@surfk9836
2 жыл бұрын
Referencing the bible? The bible is literally "The Goat Hearder's Guide to the Universe". Emotions developed as a survival mechanism. No need to refer to a bronze age eorld view.
@eduardodiaz-reixa5592
2 жыл бұрын
We need more of this in general education. Psychology is so important!!
@shelbiejones2440
2 жыл бұрын
She went from talking about children to relationships really fast😂😂😂🤧
@ninaavery8809
2 жыл бұрын
She did inform us it would be fast
@shelbiejones2440
2 жыл бұрын
@@ninaavery8809 and she don't know wtf she talking about. What she saying is what Petty people will do
@yewsee
2 жыл бұрын
Nobody can “make me feel” anything. I’m in control. No victim mentality here.
@illusionrealityvsbgi9670
2 жыл бұрын
#VastlyRespect ∞💯
@juancruz-wz1wy
2 жыл бұрын
Isn't amazing you feel that way
@yewsee
2 жыл бұрын
@@JesseP.Watson Accountability is a curse word! 😂
@juancruz-wz1wy
2 жыл бұрын
@@yewsee both
@yewsee
2 жыл бұрын
@@juancruz-wz1wy Amazed? No. I’m in control of my thoughts and emotions! No one outside of myself is the answer. “Isn’t “ by the way is: “Is Not” so how is your sentence both? Please explain
@BrokeTheSeal
2 жыл бұрын
If someone feels jealous about someone else, they chose that feeling. That other person didn't make them feel that way because I’m sure there's plenty of people in the room that didn't feel jealous.
@SirrAHMiller
2 жыл бұрын
Wait, you are responding with logic. Like a sis gendered man or whatever they call it (as I am). Listen to what she said though, they are jealous I wore this! This is not logical, this is the cheat code. Embrace it brother! Let me know what you think.
@BrokeTheSeal
2 жыл бұрын
@@SirrAHMiller wait, you're suggesting that I don't embrace logic?
@this_mfr
2 жыл бұрын
You missed the point entirely. You had an effect on someone, whether intentional or not. Therefore, they will attempt to make you feel the same way, intentionally or not is irrelevant. You can know how to better respond and solve conflict when you are aware of the principle she is speaking about.
@BrokeTheSeal
2 жыл бұрын
@@this_mfr jealousy is an attitude toward someone. It's a choice.
@katsivan5148
2 жыл бұрын
@@this_mfr good point but I got a feeling u wasting ur time trying to explain it to those that don't get it.
@arlettejaramillo3656
2 жыл бұрын
I see the point very well. Basically reflect on yourself to find out how to resolve a conflict with someone. The same way you keep control of yourself in a confrontation by using first person language rather than potentially direct language that can be seen as accusatory to the other person. I like it!
@jeanwolfendale405
3 жыл бұрын
I disagree because nobody can make me feel anything that I do not wish to feel. On the rare occasion that my child did have a hissy fit, I recognised that he was only developing emotionally and that it was important during these developing years to lead by example.
@dorthyjamieson5738
3 жыл бұрын
Don't feed into their temper fits. If possible, walk away. For teenagers, refuse to talk until they can calm themselves. Until they calm down, they will not listen.
@thaabeetarot1478
3 жыл бұрын
Right?! Like.. if I feel good and they feel bad that’s their issue to figure out why they’re upset.
@Kozy894
3 жыл бұрын
Agreed, I don’t have to react or reflect to anyone's emotions like the example she used if I wear a dress that makes me look amazing and its making someone feel jealous then it's not my concern I wore that dress for me because it make me feel good why should I waste my energy on someone who is CHOOSING to be jealous if they have the ability to be jealous then they have the ability to work on their self-esteem I can simply choose to be indifferent to someone's negative reaction its not my responsibility to make someone feel better about themselves because I cant help them anyway they have to learn to help themselves because just how I am in control of how I feel they are too no one but yourself can make you feel otherwise.
@zacharywoodford8530
2 жыл бұрын
That's simply not true unless you're literally an emotionless robot. People can make you feel upset, jealous, excited, ect and there is nothing you can do to stop it
@vinsanity1976
2 жыл бұрын
@@zacharywoodford8530 Yes there is. You simply refuse to care. It's easy
@natalie.natalie.natalie
3 жыл бұрын
Need to see and hear this in slow motion 🤣.. such a mind blowing insight... 🙏🏼😍
@alexislee6830
3 жыл бұрын
Yes i can't get the end bit shes talkung to fasr
@summydots
2 жыл бұрын
I understand all except the last bit. Sometimes you don’t even know what their problem is with you, it’s unprovoked & unwarranted… you can’t deal with them lunatics by reasoning with them. Though going by my habit I still try to talk sense into them. but to no avail. Then again you realise that reasoning with irrational folks, doesn’t make them any less irrational.. it makes you less smarter overtime.
@zacharysawyer8972
2 жыл бұрын
I can certainly see how it would indeed over time make one, less smarter... 🤣🤣🤣
@kellydignean1667
2 жыл бұрын
I agree with you 100%. It's not my problem if someone is jealous of me. They have to learn to get over it and at times everyone has feelings of jealousy of someone else, the thing is how you treat people because of it, is the important thing.
@raz0rcarich99
2 жыл бұрын
What you're doing right now is called "punctuation" in systemic communication theory. You're taking a complex situation and creating a linear causal relationship: _"she_ is causing _me_ suffering because _she_ is irrational". It misses the other part of the equation, which is _your_ responses and how they are impacting _her's._ Swan is saying that relationship dynamics express circular causality (not linear). It's not possible to boil the whole relationship down to one causal factor (one person), and therefore your solution has to take this into account, i.e. you have to work just as much on _your own_ responses and reactions, _your own_ contribution to the relationship, as the other person. You have to establish a type of communication that addresses this point and start working from both ends. For example, if you get irritated because somebody is acting irritated, you can ask them "I'm irritated - am I irritating you?", to which they will probably respond "yes", in which case you can find a solution that acknowledges both perspectives.
@ursilaminor6447
2 жыл бұрын
OMG this is so spot on. I mean I agree with like 80% of what she saying but the problem is then she dives off the deep end and pretends like we're actually supposed to understand why a person's acting like a douchebag. The point she made in the beginning outweighs the point she made in the end. Children, keyword being children act that way adults should have developed a maturity to verbalize or find other ways to communicate how they feel. But at the same time this is only a very short clip so I'm hoping that she has a more conclusive explanation of what she's trying to say.
@raz0rcarich99
2 жыл бұрын
@@ursilaminor6447 It's really simple: relationship dynamics don't follow linear causality (A => B), but rather it's circular (A B), so your conflict solving strategies have to be a reflection of that.
@Damngoodcoffee_n_cherrypie
2 жыл бұрын
My goodness, thank you for highlighting my own flaws so clearly!
@kamila2249
3 жыл бұрын
So in the jealousy example, how are you supposed to change if they are getting jealous and you are not doing intentionally
@lindenpeters2601
2 жыл бұрын
The outfit/jealousy situation is actually an example of where that line of thinking breaks down. When you dress nice, you often feel confident and good about yourself. Jealousy is feeling inadequate and dissatisfied with yourself.
@NovaLena22
3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like she's trying to make the audience feel how she feels... and she clearly feels that she knows it all.
@maellyne3855
3 жыл бұрын
So what’s wrong with the audience leaving the place feeling like they are closer to “knowing it all”? Also, lets not assume the audience won’t be able to rationalize what they have learned.
@dianeross4522
3 жыл бұрын
@@maellyne3855 "Also let's not assume".....Nova Lena said "trying" to make the audience feel how she feels. No assumption was there regarding the audiences reception just an opinion on this lady's effort and/or try...
@maellyne3855
3 жыл бұрын
Ok then great! Lets not assume :)
@NovaLena22
3 жыл бұрын
@@maellyne3855 Sounds like you were the one making all kinds of assumptions. My comment didn't come anywhere close to your interpretation.
@maellyne3855
3 жыл бұрын
You said it, it was my interpretation. You are entitled to yours and I am too.
@DarthAssViolater
2 жыл бұрын
"everyone feels how I feel" isn't always correct.
@coniferous4637
2 жыл бұрын
If this was true everyone I know would be depressed lol
@lorenzocollado325
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!!!
@seeexy
2 жыл бұрын
but she's talking about it in a general level.
@DivineLightPaladin
2 жыл бұрын
Don't think you understood what she meant if you say that 😂
@-cloudsaboveuscrying-6805
2 жыл бұрын
That's exactly what i was thinking
@StrawberrySoul77
Жыл бұрын
Best idea ever! Thank you❣️👏🏻💜
@rebeccamoore8290
2 жыл бұрын
She’s taking about children, everyone! As adults we have absolutely no responsibility for the way others feel toward us unless we create provocation and, even then, we should react as though we are adults 100% of the time. Otherwise, we act as though we are children
@cherry9669
2 жыл бұрын
She’s talking about children at first, then she specifically says “we do not grow out of this”.
@jw5471
2 жыл бұрын
This comment is a joke. Ofcourse you're responsible for what others feel towards you. It's just on you to see if that's a problem for you or only for them. And if you want to do something about it or leave it there. But taking responsibility of you and shove it into someone else's shoes yeah 100% adult.
@rebeccamoore8290
2 жыл бұрын
@@jw5471 how so? If someone doesn’t like me based off of my sense of humor and confidence, I’m not responsible to make you appreciate that about me. If I walk into a party in a kick ass dress and you’re jealous because you chose to wear sweatpants, am I supposed to go home and change to make you feel better? If I sew something and you sew the exact same thing but yours is much higher ghee quality even though I gave it my best, would you rip yours down and make it more comparable to mine? If you had great friends and mine were shitty, would you trade me just to make me feel better? I’m an adult and I am bot responsible for anyone else’s opinion of me but I’m also not a shitty person. Again: adult
@jw5471
2 жыл бұрын
@@rebeccamoore8290 let's say that you have a close friend who can't get pregnant and you're being proud and happy around her you are. She feels jealous of you and is heartbroken she can't. You are responsible for making her feel that way. Are you still going to react and act this way towards her? Or are you going to be compassionate and watch out? This is what I mean that it's on you to care or not care. In your examples you obviously shouldn't care but are still responsible. Every action towards someone else is your responsibility.
@veronicabelgrano5165
2 жыл бұрын
What amazing insight!! So simple and obvious yet flies under the radar. Thank you so much!!!
@lonnettemartin4354
3 жыл бұрын
I've felt this for many years but, could not articulate it this eloquently. It was the someone feels jealous of you. So now they've made it their mission too transfer. The exact energy too you, when you've done absolutely nothing. Other than simply being yourself. The whole snippet was PROFOUND ✌️......
@victorymansions
2 жыл бұрын
You need to learn the difference between the words 'to' and 'too'.
@lonnettemartin4354
2 жыл бұрын
@@victorymansions Hey if I wanted your opinion? I would have given it too you. I know exactly what I wrote. Frankly my dear I don't give a damn what you think.... What's next💅?
@bigdiglett3258
2 жыл бұрын
@@victorymansions I don't even notice half of these errors until the grammar nazis show up. i think we all got his message
@hekidayo
2 жыл бұрын
This is 100% true and once you realise it, conflicts become so so easy to resolve!
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