Just listening makes me feel nausea. If you are caught up with one, stop trying to label. You know it if they are. Just leave. Leave. Do NOT engage in negative or positive. Your mental health is important. They will drive you to suicide if you don't leave.
@drina4706
5 жыл бұрын
Spot on!!! They will indeed play with their victims until they attempt or commit suicide and then they get their fuel and come out "on top" saying: " see, I told you she was crazy!". Just run. Don't try to engage or one up them or anything because it is a loss from the get-go.
@pam164
5 жыл бұрын
I was secondary source and was devalued every 4 to 5 weeks then discarded then hoovered and this went on and on all the time i was seeing him. Horrible!
@diamondvall101
5 жыл бұрын
Too many games no wonder I almost went crazy With my ex narc Toooo many games I just like loyalty and point blank communication OMG
@pam164
5 жыл бұрын
And you get none of them off a narc.
@belowthesilvermoonBe
5 жыл бұрын
How many times do they say..."I'm sick of your mind games!"
@mariatrakadas6069
5 жыл бұрын
I was IPSS. Then I found out that he had an IPPS. Called him out on it. Deny, deny, deny. He devalued me, silent treatment and discard.
@MiriamMonroe
5 жыл бұрын
Yes! if you won't tolerate their craziness they will tell you you're crazy and accuse you of abandoning them. 🤭
@stephanielove4469
5 жыл бұрын
So it's a good sign to be devalued 😘
@celestetheariesdorsey952
4 жыл бұрын
I noticed he uses everyone either for rides or anything he wants
@rhondawalker2020
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you again, this is really very good! Keep the videos coming. I'm learning so much.
@FlavinhaOliveira
5 жыл бұрын
HG, what do you mean by "responding favorably" to the corrective devaluation? To accept your devaluation and submit to you? There is also a line of thought that says that if the victim doesn't establish boundaries (and therefore submits), the narc "loses respect" for them and devalues anyway, because they can't understand how the victim stays regardless of the abuse (I know, it's contradicting). Which one is true? Or both are?
@Chris-0113
5 жыл бұрын
Both are correct. When he says the victims responds favorably, he means you get back in line with where the narcissost wants you- the victim stops challenging them, or stops wounding them, etc. It just means you're acting and reacting the way the narcissist wants you to- usually praising and admiring them. As far as your second question goes, the truth is you will be devalued at some point for anything and everything. Even if you spend your entire days showering them with praise, admiration and love, you'll eventually be devalued because they know they haven't earned those things, and so devaluation commences. It's a no-win situation, no matter how it's handled by the victim. They will always eventually be seen as malfunctioning, and be devalued and discarded.
@pattyflanders8021
5 жыл бұрын
THAT'S the game...it makes and keeps you crazy, tired and mentally ill AND the narc gleefully sucks up every last bit of energy, (fuel), you have. No matter what you do, you can't win. Remember...at first, THEY are the only ones who know it's a game.
@belowthesilvermoonBe
5 жыл бұрын
@@pattyflanders8021 exactly! The moment one realizes it's a sick game...ALL of it void of anything authentic or genuine, it sends chills of WTF WTF WTF...
@runwiththewind3281
5 жыл бұрын
HG, thank you for helping me understand
@DestinyUnfolds59
5 жыл бұрын
I love your videos and thank you. Could you please do a video on twin flames vs. narcisisst? I believe that person who I thought was my twin flame is nothing but a nasty narcisisst.
@scottlopez9822
5 жыл бұрын
Destiny Unfolds I am analyzing the same question myself. The twin flame, I was told, is not your soul mate and perfect match. It is the person that provides you with the greatest opportunity for spiritual growth. I believe surviving narcissistic abuse is definitely a growth opportunity. That’s what I have used it for.
@harleyquinn5774
5 жыл бұрын
I became a secondary source to my group of Narc and Sociopath “friends”. The devaluation punishment I received was group sexual battery multiple times. They viscously devalued my place in the group in this matter for the purpose of compelling me to leave. Speaking to me directly with a statement such as, “[my name], we think our friendship with you has reached it’s limits and the best thing for both of us is to part ways.” Nope, such language and how to pronounce the words in that order was “too complicated” I was told. They did what they did because that abuse was something they could “understand” and they were able to “make sense of it” and they “felt comfortable with it.”
@pam164
5 жыл бұрын
My ex had not spoke to his only brother for years and his half sister, he blamed them but now i think it is him or maybe his brother is a narcissist as well!
@diamondvall101
5 жыл бұрын
I was primary source 😒
@kevinbrislawn5918
5 жыл бұрын
mine devalued me one day then the next lifted me up- then devalued..what a dildo!
@lcswprep1988
5 жыл бұрын
I don’t know if I agree with the term ‘victim’ for the narcissist’s source. That is not to excuse narcissistic behavior-it is wrong and condemnable. But if someone is staying in a relationship willingly, and not to avoid being assaulted or killed by the narcissist, they’re not a victim, they’re a volunteer. If you are free to leave someone who is treating you badly and are not doing so, I don’t think the title of victim is appropriate, even if it is more appealing than the title of doormat
@scottlopez9822
5 жыл бұрын
LCSWprep trauma bonds are real. Not always easy to break them and move on. I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
@drina4706
5 жыл бұрын
No. I disagree. You cannot apply simple logic as you are doing; the NPDs play with your MIND!!! You really are a victim because just when you start to put two and two together they act differently and play a different mind game!!! There are also trauma bonds that form. The mind isn't as easy peasy as 1,2,3. The brain is quite complex. And it is literally being exposed to blows, and blows and blows every day ( emotional and perhaps even physical)... it isn't going to think objectively!!! It isn't as simple as you make it seem....if it would be we would all have gotten out a lot sooner and perhaps figured out that we were dealing with NPDs a lot sooner not years later (in my case). It's like constant whiplash----like a constant rollercoaster and you want to gain control and you try but at every turn there is some damn weir mind game and trap.
@justinthehead1993
5 жыл бұрын
@@drina4706 your not a victim of anything other than your own inexperience and ignorance. when we realize what's going on, we get angry at our selves for being gullible and stupid.
@jacksonyusuf
5 жыл бұрын
How can I tell if I am a narc ? My self defense won’t let me know according to your logic.
@sallyshiner4849
5 жыл бұрын
Do you treat the primary source the worst but they also get the best golden period and respite periods?
@antonellapergliamici
5 жыл бұрын
Hg TUDOR, sometimes your videos scare me , but YOU have courage!!! Is IT true that narcissists have abandonment anxiety, And they do preempt abandonment because they in. That way have the impression TO decide TO quit the relationship unilateral ? But IF I understood right this happens because they have been crityzied, but AS Dr VAKNIN sad they ALSO become bored of some sources of SUPPLY... Can money And the bank account be the primary source of supply IF the narcissist is a rich man ?? Mr TUDOR I don T want TO disturb you.. For those who Are not english mother TONGUE.. Will YOU please put not white images on the screen .. We cannot see easily the linguistic transcription of what YOU say in the low left side of the screen , .. And of course we have TO improve OUR english .. And sorry for my english However .. In any case thanks for your help in advance !!!
@FlavinhaOliveira
5 жыл бұрын
Can you please make a video with examples of when the IPS(or P)S needs a correction and what response is expected, and which responses trigger disengagement? And one on why your kind decides to disengage, other than the fact that they found a new (better) PS? And maybe another video describing what is a good source of fuel (with examples) and what' is not, and what occasions the fuel becomes stale?
@sunflower5749
5 жыл бұрын
It would be nice to see how HANDSOME you are, HG!!! I know u prefer to remain anonymous, will this stance be forever?? ;-)
@TheVerbalAssassinFAFO
5 жыл бұрын
Ummmm . . .you DO understand that he's a Narc. . .right? The flirting is kinda. . .gross.🤢 Ewwww. . .
@yayaminah7908
5 жыл бұрын
Sunflower Love it will. He’s done interviews with no identity. Hell, I’m almost certain his voice is distorted. Either way, he can’t reveal his identity. No one would deal with him. Then again......
@neil7236
5 жыл бұрын
Get a grip..Do you like dating Narcs ? Or are you a Narcissist yourself ?
@daughteroftherisenking3165
5 жыл бұрын
Narcs are disgusting people 🤢🤮
@Angelica2020
5 жыл бұрын
boy....OHHHH FKN* boy!!! Get help, your train of thought gives so much to think about. Does it really MATTER what this man looks like? does it???!!!! he has walked life swiftly fucking up PEOPLE'S brains, infecting them with his narc ways and driving them insane. (can't you tell by watching all his videos and the way he breaks it down on how he has done it??!) Your "curiosity" is what gets empaths like US in SO MUCH trouble!!! Get real and grow up and UNtwist your mind hunny.
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