I hate when they say the President of the USA is leader of the free world. We all have our own leaders thanks, you can keep yours, he's your fault.
@rodneybuckland4140
7 жыл бұрын
YAAAAAY correction, he's less than half our fault
@kennymartin5976
7 жыл бұрын
Rodney Buckland A little under a sixth to be exact.
@kendokaaa
7 жыл бұрын
Those who didn't vote are to blame too.
@alterego846
7 жыл бұрын
I hate it when fellow nonamericans object to this term, because all it proves is that they know jack shit about international politics.
@laydieelle7069
7 жыл бұрын
+YAAAAAY Agreed. He's not my leader either. I bear no responsibility for him. And he ain't the boss of me. ;P I hate that too.
@eagle3676
7 жыл бұрын
I seriously hate the title "leader of the free world". It's a selfish and self-serving title just like how the English used to be the self-declared gentlemen of the world. USA is not the leader of the free world and Drumpf certainly ain't it. It might be the leader of NATO and the leader of almost every western military alliance but that does not make it the leader of the free world. Some 200 or more countries are technically free to varying degrees and the USA does not represent 99% of them
@Vision-nr8zy
7 жыл бұрын
Eagle 367 welcome to amerikka white people's narrative is all that matters
@michiro8470
6 жыл бұрын
Here here! You speak truth
@leanie9660
6 жыл бұрын
Americans are very self-absorbed. They think that everyone else doesn't matter.
@joshbgosh6200
5 жыл бұрын
Eagle, I completely agree.
@PhantomKaratOfficial
7 жыл бұрын
I watch these clips every morning from the UK. I love this show!
@richardtaylor4362
7 жыл бұрын
PhantomKaratOfficial Yay zombify your mind!
@thea_diary
7 жыл бұрын
PhantomKaratOfficial yeah same here in germany 😄
@richardtaylor4362
7 жыл бұрын
anthea M not like German Media ever calls for Trump to be killed.
@hrshj653
7 жыл бұрын
PhantomKaratOfficial same here from India
@lollyb8321
7 жыл бұрын
PhantomKaratOfficial Same from France !
@GoodWoIf
7 жыл бұрын
A phrase people don't use outside of the US: "Leader of the free world."
@albertelnen4995
6 жыл бұрын
Prior to 2017 they did. The last President wasn't a buffoon . And got along with leaders of other countries.
@hazukichanx408
5 жыл бұрын
One of those titles that's earned rather than bestowed, really. Or not earned, as in the case of Drumpf.
@piotrswat169
5 жыл бұрын
M K world champions in baseball😂
@petyrkowalski9887
5 жыл бұрын
Piotr Swat the "world series"
@piotrswat169
5 жыл бұрын
Petyr Kowalski same stupid shite
@bothersomethoughts
7 жыл бұрын
Canada here, we'll send our navy mooses if you need help dragging him out of office
@voidliving6922
7 жыл бұрын
wubbalubba dubdub send all of them!
@bothersomethoughts
7 жыл бұрын
Unapologetically Sassy we're actually seeing record numbers of us asylum seekers jumping the border into canada and we're having a bit of an issue dealing with it but there's always immigration! www.cic.gc.ca/EnGlish/immigrate/index.asp
@बाबुरंगीला-प6ध
7 жыл бұрын
wubbalubba dubdub The Us Is protecting Canada. Alaska to the west, Atlantic ocean. to the east, tundra to the north. you can afford to live in your entitled little paradise.
@colinsilver1041
7 жыл бұрын
Lol. Thanks. I've heard the legends.
@RedButtonTV1
7 жыл бұрын
but who will protect them from protectors...
@223Drone
7 жыл бұрын
The fact that leader's have to shorten their talks because of Trump's attention span is yet another example as to why Trump is unfit for office.
@martinenotmartini9935
7 жыл бұрын
223Drone can you imagine having to try and explain, say, severe human rights violations and how to handle them with five words per sentence (max.) and in under four minutes? wtf...
@incognito-ow5or
7 жыл бұрын
223Drone i hope you don't get your news from Colbert and the post!! They're "hit piece" chop shops! this just in today, Comey admitted under oath that Trump did NOT ask him to halt any investigation......the Washington post went the opposite way.
@Juri121
7 жыл бұрын
I hope Trump's plane crashes in the ocean. :)
@223Drone
7 жыл бұрын
+in cognito What does Comey have to do with Trump's incompetence? Trump is a narcissistic liar has been caught doing/saying stupid things multiple times. Do your self a favor and stop listening to Info Wars and Breitbart.
@mrbigpappy85
7 жыл бұрын
Are we still adding to the list of reasons Trump is unfit? I ran out of paper in August of 2016 :/
@LadyCeag840
7 жыл бұрын
Despite its origins of being the name of a Star Wars villain, Kylo is actually a very handsome name for a boy. I like it! ...Oh, and Trump is an idiot.
@hazukichanx408
5 жыл бұрын
Meanwhile, Kyle Katarn never needed to stick a random o in his name... and if someone named a kid after him, they'd have a much better role model. Plus he could pretend he wasn't named after a Star Wars character, or simply never bring it up first.
fun fact: goldfish actually have a longer attention span than the three second myth. they can even be trained to recognize coloured rings as opposed to Donald Trump who'll only recognize one colour.
@davidstone4725
7 жыл бұрын
I was going to say that's an insult to the goldfish, but voodoodummie beat me to it!
@wolframstahl1263
7 жыл бұрын
Another common feature of Trump and gold fish: listening to them feels equally rewarding.
@partibananathurai5862
7 жыл бұрын
+John Acobs You realise Trump is 70, right? And he looks like it. I don't think you're in any position to speak about age here mate.
@Shiva108
7 жыл бұрын
yep, it's official: Trump has made Idiocracy a movie based on actual events.
@pete275
7 жыл бұрын
it's really annoying when they call him "leader of the free world", I live in the free world and he's not my leader (neither was Obama for that matter). We have our own elections and our own leaders, we don't vote in your election so keep your leaders to yourself
@kindsprit4039
5 жыл бұрын
I force myself to wait until morning to watch all the Stephen monologues. It’s a guaranteed smile and laugh to start each day! 👌🤣here’s to “the Late Show with Mr Bad Ass~Colbert!” Thanks for starting each day with a good laugh & light mood 👍🏽💞
@Jasonblade9012
7 жыл бұрын
Buckle up for Trump first foreign trip... it will be an embarrassment
@unvergebeneid
7 жыл бұрын
Nobody knew the Middle East was so complicated!
@RICHOCHANGO
7 жыл бұрын
Jason Blade the president show going on world tour, where do I get tickets?
@brooped
7 жыл бұрын
As a European, I'm very much looking forward to this, it's gonna be fun to watch Colbert after it.
@sh3alone
7 жыл бұрын
Can't wait to see him doing handshakes with other leader
@fiereke
7 жыл бұрын
Don't expect a warm welcome here in "hellhole" Brussels, a$$hole!
@therepublicofdiarrhea7792
7 жыл бұрын
Shonda Rhimes may end Scandal, but Donald Trump is starting five new ones.
@201friendzjulia6
7 жыл бұрын
omg yeeeeeees
@JawbreakerRock
7 жыл бұрын
God Likes Porn with Ben the Demon SCORE!
@AyratHungryStudent
7 жыл бұрын
If you didn't get this one. Shonda Rhimes is a TV producer. Her show Scandal ends next year. You are welcome)
@ringsofmars29
7 жыл бұрын
God Likes Porn with Ben the Demon BINGO!!
@ducheswannabe
7 жыл бұрын
God Likes Porn with Ben the Demon Duuuuuuuude why did you have to tell me Scandal was ending! :( Haven't I suffered enough?
@whateverman4945
7 жыл бұрын
Ya that finite energy thing is shockingly stupid. Which is shocking considering the standards.
@allegory6393
7 жыл бұрын
Mr Colbert, you stand peerless, sir. You are building a huge fan club in the UK.
@AnnaLjungholm
7 жыл бұрын
I love you Stephen but no, Donald Trump is not president of the world. But the fact that he thinks so, and the fact that a large part of America believes so strongly in it's "superiority" is a big problem. The sooner America realizes it's a country among other countries, the better.
@praneet6230
7 жыл бұрын
Anna Månsson and a mostly dumb one as well
@imnotziggy
7 жыл бұрын
Anna Månsson I agree. I think this typ of ignorance could be deadly to the USA. How will this supposedly "superior" country survive, if they get attacked by many countries, forming alliances? Who will actually help the USA, when they treat others like second best
@Primalxbeast
7 жыл бұрын
Anna Månsson The problem is that we have a military as big as the next 5 countries combined and military bases around the world so we are the most powerful country in the world even if we lag behind the rest of the developed world in many other categories. If other countries didn't want us to become the leader of the free world, they shouldn't have been so complacent and allowed us to gain such a disproportionate military advantage. I'm not exactly happy to have so much of our tax dollars spent on maintaining military bases in countries all around the world instead of on things like healthcare.
@unvergebeneid
7 жыл бұрын
Yeah, didn't they pass the "Leader of the Free World" title on to Angela Merkel after Trump was elected?
@bluebull2006
7 жыл бұрын
Anna Månsson president of the world its the strongest n can so what it wants
@camelsheit_on_the_walls446
7 жыл бұрын
Before sending not cute toddler trump abroad, they should really consider reinforcing his diapers, as he has been leaking an awful lot lately.
@MrBloodbunny
7 жыл бұрын
*Fun Fact*: the president of the USA is forbidden to drive ever from the day he went to the White House. Absolute off topic, I know, but I just can't deal with D.T's every day renewing, ludicrous amount of stupidity...
@miapdx503
7 жыл бұрын
MrBloodbunny Now if we can forbid him from talking.
@leanie9660
6 жыл бұрын
@@miapdx503 ..and TWEETING!
@jlinblazin
7 жыл бұрын
Every time Stephen brings up the Miss USA Pageant I get excited for his jumping out TRUMP "HIYA" face with the jazz hands hahahah
@christophercampbell628
7 жыл бұрын
"I can't believe you did that to me after your brother Oedipus ran off with your mother." I almost died laughing at that.
@bloopblob
7 жыл бұрын
Ah, I can already hear the lovely sound of trump being impeached. Also fantastic job as per usual Stephen.
@georgemiser
7 жыл бұрын
48% want him gone. :)
@georgemiser
7 жыл бұрын
48 and growing.
@heisenbergw8825
7 жыл бұрын
bloopblob you wish that would happen after the L you liberals took in November
@JuanitoRainman
7 жыл бұрын
you forgot " her emails her emails" because that's all you got lol
@CaptnKrksNippls
7 жыл бұрын
If that is all they have then how did Hillary lose? Surely she should have been able to overcome that single obstacle and small amount of dirt.
@AnnoyingKiwiDude
7 жыл бұрын
just over a hundred days into President Donald Trump's dumpster fire of an administration, with a special counsel in place to dig up dirt on Trump - I feel anxious.
@jimmyguitar2933
7 жыл бұрын
The "Oedipus" joke was the smartest joke he's told in a long time.
@itamarmendelson2646
7 жыл бұрын
Stephen's so skilled at working with invisible objects, I love how he always remembers to put them back in their place juuuust outside the camera frame. Great physical actor :)
@daphne2blake
7 жыл бұрын
Not babies, but toddlers are stronger than one might think. My nephew is almost 3 and he can move our couch across the living room and can flip mattresses over. Little shit will probably kill me one day...
@jaspirita
7 жыл бұрын
lol Good luck!
@kolcs
7 жыл бұрын
the one time the ding was supposed to be a setup to a joke, and that is the one Batiste missed
@wolframstahl1263
7 жыл бұрын
The body actually is like a battery with finite energy, which exercise depletes. Trump got that absolutely correct. But can someone please tell him, that there's also a mechanism with which you can recharge that battery? It's called Eating.
@zaphodbeeblebrox6627
7 жыл бұрын
Oh... I think the Moron in chief has figured that out, but Unfortunately his inlet is bigger than his outlet... the fat C#%T.
@88marome
7 жыл бұрын
And sleeping. You can also improve its performance by... *drumroll*... exercising!
@anotherdoctor2002
7 жыл бұрын
"You don’t just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand! You say no! You have the guts to do what’s right, even when everyone else just runs away." - Rose Tyler
@marilynjones5749
7 жыл бұрын
"Man Child Trump" "Orange is the new president!" Trump=a Cheetos with legs.
@reinforcer9000
7 жыл бұрын
That journal also included the articles "Do not put the lotion in the basket" by Clarice Starling, and "The downside of meth." LOL
@marcoklaue
7 жыл бұрын
I never get tired of Jon's sound effects when Stephen discards an imaginary prop.
@cdcanada7182
7 жыл бұрын
Ah, Stephen...you make this clusterfuck a lot more bearable. Thanks :)
@cleaveuntome42
7 жыл бұрын
Don't Run Along!!! That counts as exercise!!! Just lay down and let some poor, less important people use their finite energy to carry you to a car.
@thribs
7 жыл бұрын
Speaking of Kylo, I've always wanted to call my kids Jacen and Jaina if they were mixed gender twins. There I would have the issue of my daughter killing her brother at some point.
@edwinplayer
7 жыл бұрын
from what reference are Jacen and Jaina from for there to be a sibling murder?
@thribs
7 жыл бұрын
edwinplayer From Star Wars
@RizzRiderEUC
7 жыл бұрын
That sneaky Oedipus joke at the end was pure gold
@madamalix
7 жыл бұрын
I watch from Canada, every morning with my coffee! I love this show.
@MyChevySonic
7 жыл бұрын
lol, the other articles got me. "Do Not Put the Lotion in the Basket."
@falcore91
7 жыл бұрын
Baby Delta Force sounds like a terrifying way to die.
@sqkerg9528
7 жыл бұрын
Wait, but Oedipus kills his father too...
@HallowedManhattan
7 жыл бұрын
That object permeance joke is terrific
@hellsingmongrel
7 жыл бұрын
"Not Pregnant, Just Chipotle" 😂 I'd wear it!
@sadiqmohamed681
7 жыл бұрын
That "New England Journal Of ..." is genius. I had a look at the real one, which (surprisingly!) is online for free. Kudos to the graphics elves!
@lDrownded2
7 жыл бұрын
Note that the stacking order is: "A Tale of Two Cities" on the bottom (nice flat base), burrito, then the nuclear button and Chipotle baby(?) as the cherry on top.
@BlakieTT
7 жыл бұрын
Do not put the lotion in the basket - C. Sterling. I love you, Late Show.
@brianbagnall3029
7 жыл бұрын
New drinking game. Every time Colbert's hands move out of frame to the left and the piano-man jingles the keyboard, have a shot.
@Arahansannihilation
7 жыл бұрын
That last joke is killin'.
@bigdickmcgee3293
7 жыл бұрын
He's 70!! That gives me hope. He could die midway.
@z.deutch1334
7 жыл бұрын
Given his fragile ego, he probably has a penis size that matches his tiny hands
@agriperma
7 жыл бұрын
Nah, f*cking evil bastards die at 104
@Cookiem0sta
7 жыл бұрын
agriperma nah that son of a bitch doesn't exercise and eats like the pig he is, I'll give him another 8 months.
@gordon4385
7 жыл бұрын
Nah, he reminds me of an uncle of mine who made it to.100. We used to say that God didn't want him and the devil was afraid he'd take over.
@sircco4278
7 жыл бұрын
yeah, but then we'd be stuck with pence
@BigA207
7 жыл бұрын
"What happened to Uncle Kira and his Stray Cat?" "We don't talk about Uncle Kira, Kylo. We don't talk about Uncle Kira." "Didn't he write 'Another one Bites the Dust?'" "That was Queen." "Killer Queen?" "No, just Queen!"
@anurag-kumar20
7 жыл бұрын
After the day Trump was elected, this is the first time I am watching Colbert again. Never did I imagine this guy would be so obsessed with Trump for so long. From someone who is living far away from the US, Trump is not ridiculed on a daily basis and is not seen so lowly or comically as he makes it seem like.
@jeffpride9838
7 жыл бұрын
Everyone else has adults as presidents, we in America have a child in the office
@faulker2p
7 жыл бұрын
You just have to know that every news paper in the world will have " You're fired" front page when he gets kicked out of office.
@AngryKittens
7 жыл бұрын
Oh and one last thing, NATO. NO VEGGIES. And two scoops of ice cream. TWO. #imoeachtrump
@InuyashaTT
6 жыл бұрын
The joke about Kylo was okay but when he mentioned Oedipus I cracked up
@TheSquirrelbeast
7 жыл бұрын
2:55 "Do not put the lotion in the basket" - by C. Starling.
@TheValorious
7 жыл бұрын
But Steven, there's a solid theory that says Han was the one to press the button on the saber, sparing his son the choice. It's an interesting read for sure!
@ashirab1909
7 жыл бұрын
I guess that's why Melania won't record "Wow, Ethan, great moves. Keep it up. Proud of you." for Ethan and Hila.
@diwashshrestha4996
7 жыл бұрын
i think when trump will go from office stephen also will leave this program because he will have no any topic to talk about.
@miapdx503
7 жыл бұрын
Diwash's Show Hey, this administration has already supplied comedy that will endure for generations...
@debbieaguilar5498
7 жыл бұрын
You stupid and sensual Stephen Colbert! I love your monologues!!!
@ligeiaresurrectedfangirl927
7 жыл бұрын
Does this guy ever talk about anything besides Trump?
@JoseLopez-tc9dr
6 жыл бұрын
LigeiaResurrected What do you expect? The stupid moron gives us something to make fun of every day?
@smurfmama2020
7 жыл бұрын
Narcissists actually do have a finite amount of energy, but because they vampire life force and energy off of others , they end up with an infinitely longer healthier life span than others because of it. I've seen that insanity in action.
@Ignitionite
7 жыл бұрын
The "leader of the free world" rubbish needs to get canned, no matter who the president of the US is. It's only Americans who think this, the rest of us just shake our heads at this ignorance.
@josepharrington8391
7 жыл бұрын
can stephen shut up about donald trump for 5 minutes?
@msp8724
7 жыл бұрын
Joseph Arrington You are aware no one is forcing you to watch his videos, correct? This is KZitem. Watch something else.
@drakeman7617
7 жыл бұрын
Don't watch then jackass.
@josepharrington8391
7 жыл бұрын
wow i never thought of it that way
@AlJalandhari
7 жыл бұрын
2:56 New England Journal of No Duh article 787 "The Downside of Meth" 😂
@gordonanderson3111
7 жыл бұрын
" I don't need to go into the dressing room, at a pagent, we have secret cameras in there and tapes of all that...believe me it was spectacular!" ;-}>
@sarahbrewer9483
7 жыл бұрын
Hehe, at @2:55, there's an article on "Invisible Colleagues". :)
@HeyThereCharlieGirl
5 жыл бұрын
The other headlines in The New England Journal of No Duh are hilarious (2:56)! Especially clever is the author of the one on the right
@pranavgarg9075
7 жыл бұрын
( 2:55 ) "Special Article: Do Not Put the Lotion in the Basket"
@caitlynmarsolek6786
7 жыл бұрын
This is so embarrassing. Who thought this was a good idea? Look at this mess you've made.
@pharb69
7 жыл бұрын
That took long enough...
@Dhark0rion
7 жыл бұрын
"It was the best of times... ...I love a happy ending."
@henriettaraphael4368
7 жыл бұрын
The comment session is absolute Bliss
@santinocampos4566
7 жыл бұрын
It's so refreshin seeing non-Trump humour. Don't get me wrong roasting that sentient orange is quality shit but this is a breath of fresh air
@mongolo34
7 жыл бұрын
Delta force babies 🤣👍🏽
@redwanrizvi
7 жыл бұрын
POOP MY PANTS I DID!!😂😂😂😂
@Buenomars
7 жыл бұрын
DO NOT PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET! 2:54
@Davidlicious52
7 жыл бұрын
this is random but...did anybody ever noticed that both Wolverine and Deadpool both have fast healing factor and are both Canadian. Yes lets give both Canadian character the power of Universal Healthcare!!!
@aaronpeart
7 жыл бұрын
"Do Not Put The Lotion In The Basket"
@PhoenixProdLLC
7 жыл бұрын
Kylo!?... Why not just name them lucifer and get it over with? Pinhead? El Diablo? Baal? Blackbeard? :p
@RmcBlueSky
7 жыл бұрын
2:55... yeah! Boss Baby!
@treyrust340
7 жыл бұрын
I fucking lost it at the Oedipus joke.
@BryanSeigneur0
7 жыл бұрын
That battery analogy is exactly how my 8 year old thinks!
@nandoonyt
7 жыл бұрын
Lock the doors and board the windows
@lumpy0100
7 жыл бұрын
Thanks The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.:)
@annakeye
7 жыл бұрын
*Kylo*? Sounds more like a brand name for laundry detergent.
@JimDMarines
7 жыл бұрын
My dad smoke, ate sugary deserts and never exercised and lived to 92.
@pearlbmiller8050
4 жыл бұрын
Best comedy ever,, Laughing out loud
@alleycatdevil
7 жыл бұрын
he gOt Two Scoops CaN yOu BeLieVe iT
@ganrimmonim
7 жыл бұрын
You don't have to worry about the nuclear button his tiny hands won't be able to work it.
@the9thGen
7 жыл бұрын
To be fair, the finite energy is not really wrong. Only problem here is that he doesn't understand how that is.
@seandknutson
6 жыл бұрын
Poop my pants laughing I did.
@HedelTorres
7 жыл бұрын
hahahahaha bookmark for greeting cards... hahaha...
@MrSteakable
7 жыл бұрын
Wow colbert kicked ass tonight
@RizenLink
7 жыл бұрын
I used to think Trump literally was at the intellectual level of a middleschooler. Now I'm not so sure.
@dinobotful
7 жыл бұрын
Why not name the child Ben?
@slav5383
7 жыл бұрын
I would love to see Trump interviewed by Colbert. They should get him on the show.
@BaronVonQuiply
7 жыл бұрын
I'm kinda interested in hearing more about Seal Team 6 Months.
@couragekarnga8735
7 жыл бұрын
Leader of the free world, my foot! He knows about as much about freedom as he does about assault! What a lunatic!
@ThomasCrown17
7 жыл бұрын
"Hi-ya!"
@chirpynsleepy958
7 жыл бұрын
but like... Kylo isn't even his real name... just call your kid Ben, it's so much more normal!
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