There are so many broken people and families in this world. Sadly, this just seems to lead to more broken families and people. We’re in big trouble.
@Pickle2222
Жыл бұрын
Yeah and people get married thinking it’ll be easy
@dannelle17
3 ай бұрын
@@Pickle2222Nah you’d be surprised how many people DONT think before they do ANYTHING.
@nathaliebasile6168
6 ай бұрын
Hello, I just want to say that I appreciated how honest the gentleman with bipolar type 1 communicated. It felt like there was a lot of recognition. Being a dad is so so precious and important … never give up !!
@brandyk
2 ай бұрын
Prayers for the Dad with the bipolar diagnosis. I did like John's advice about writing the letters than I've heard him give before and think it was good the Dad himself thought maybe he should write the 11 year old daughter letters too. I think this whole family needs individual and family counseling. I mean he has his difficult situation but clearly the wife and the 11 year old daughter have a problem significant enough that they haven't worked out whether they got assistance or not I don't know that they can't even live together and has to stay with an aunt. Yes she probably isnt yet as upset and refusing to see the Dad as much bc he's probably been better past few years and she is younger so her memory not as clear as the 13 yr old. It sounds like only 2 years but depending on their birthdays they could be nearly 3 apart n 2-3 yrs at that age is alot. The little ones dont know any better. Hope this man continues with proper medication of it works m therapy but he has to also forgive himself and this is key bc if he doesn't even if he's doing much better in 3-5 years he may end up with a much better relationship with those younger 2 or 3 which of course would be a good thing but he may be far less inclined to deal with his older daughters feelings about him n their childhood altogether. That could push him further away n at the same time they might be jealous of the much closer relationship the younger siblings have with Dad. Of course they shouldn't hold an intentional grudge against him forever but the relationship is going to need special attention and healing. Keep in mind the 2 older ones will soon be true teenagers going through the usual but now perhaps extra push back n rebellion. He has to be brave and courageous enough not to continue to beat himself up but to recognize these girls are not worse kids than hjs younger ones who hold him in better esteem, they just had a difference circumstance,in some ways a different Dad. He will naturally want to gravitate towards the kids that adore him than the ones holding him at arms length so he needs to be aware of this n overcome this barrier.
@cathyosullivan718
Жыл бұрын
I was very happy to see Dr. John’s new book at my local Target this weekend!
@sackettfamily4685
Жыл бұрын
That's really cool!
@sariahhayford3331
Жыл бұрын
What state are you in?
@cathyosullivan718
Жыл бұрын
NYC. I’m not sure if the Southern states got it first.
@sariahhayford3331
Жыл бұрын
@@cathyosullivan718 gotcha. I'm in Washington, I hope it's here!
@lafcad
Жыл бұрын
I’ve been in that situation having dated someone who has BPD and especially with kids - there has to be peace in the household or it’s just not going to work. Yes there will be problems , but your partner needs to feel valued and the kids need to feel safe and loved. Negative behavior will always kill the relationship. Bless this family and hopefully there’s a better outcome for each one of them 💯
@clmclm6117
Жыл бұрын
Pp
@clmclm6117
Жыл бұрын
P
@miltoncat
Жыл бұрын
It sounds like they were in no mental capacity to have so many kids.
@analozada9475
6 ай бұрын
💯💯
@dannelle17
3 ай бұрын
!!!!!!!!
@brandyk
2 ай бұрын
I'm all for people having several kids as it's not exactly great yet understandable to have just 1 child with no siblings but 4-5 kids in a world where it's very difficult to get ahead as it is and this has been the case long before COVID and divorce often occuring while children are still young it's a very risky proposition to have more than two or three. The whole house of cards can easily come crashing down and that's not even including less common situation like a parent who gets a significant health issue be it physical or mental, workplace injury that leads to job loss,car accident, a child who encounters a very serious time consuming and costly medica situation and of course teenage years where drug use,etc can wreak havoc not only on that person but the entire family.. how many kids do ya actually need. If there is even the hint of some problems in you or your relationship with spouse and you already have 2 kids just stop. Each one you have is another traumatized future adult and there is only so much time n resources to get everyone help which would likely be ongoing. He said he n his wife went to marital counseling for several months was it but had to stop for awhile bc of resources. This is crazy. How is it as a society we don't have churches or volunteers or sliding scale counselors that can assist people but also don't waste your own or other people's money. Don't go to a marriage counselor if you're not sincere about trying to save the marriage n if you want to save the marriage what are you actually prepared to do and who or what would have to be said to you to show you that you have certain changes to make. If you're just trying to change the other person and going in their on the defensive it's not likely to work no matter how long you go. That's not to say everything is 50/50 and that all actions n behaviors are equally wrong or right. I'm not sure most of the counselors are able to clearly ascertain what the problem even is let alone asking the right questions. It's not right to take people money and not really tell them how it works and what is truly required of each of them. Theirs no skin off of their nose as they get paid whether you guys get better or not. John could probably do this far better in a phone call than actual marital counselors. Obviously they get people going in there pretending to be open but not really but it seems they are very reluctant to call this out earlier. Kindly bit firmly bc then at least people can stop wasting time n money n having false hope.
@CJ2023Incognito
Жыл бұрын
Wow, that first call was hard to listen to.
@tinam761
Жыл бұрын
Pulled on the heart… ❤
@traceyna1
11 күн бұрын
The family boundary call was very relatable. Haven’t heard anyone else ever speak on this so thx
@mimimonster
Жыл бұрын
I grew up in a household with an unmedicated BP father who was verbally and emotionally abusive. How incredible this dad is for getting help and committing to getting well. I hope he does it for himself so he becomes and emotionally safe person for his children. Writing letters to them would go a long way. They still need to know he loves them and they need the positive feedback. Divorcing would probably be a gift in this situation but it doesn’t mean that he can’t continue to care for himself so he is the best father he can be. I know what it’s like for an unhealthy father to never get help. All 4 of us could be in therapy for the rest of our lives because of what we went through.
@suek7086
Жыл бұрын
Our four children grew up in a household like yours. It wasn’t until they were adults that my husband was diagnosed and got good treatment. I truly regret staying through those years and letting those children be traumatized. The last five years of my husbands life were very good and the last two were wonderful so our three living children focus on those things. Yet, I see the damage. It hurts.
@YoYo_Ma
Жыл бұрын
Something to note...adult ADHD is often misdiagnosed as Bipolar 2. Not saying this caller has a wrong diagnosis, but just something to look out for if you're struggling.
@chrissydavis
Жыл бұрын
THANK YOU Dr Delony, you have no idea how much this show has saved my life xx you and your team are amazing! THANK YOU to your wife and kids for being there for you. I am not sure who said it but "behind every good man, is a great women ;(" Again thank you, my life across every level has changed because I started listening to your podcast. kindest regards Chrissy
@marcusmiller9020
Жыл бұрын
I just bought both your books. I appreciate everything you do.
@lorenl9262
Жыл бұрын
LOVE the shirt Dr. John as I live in Las Vegas, Nevada where the KILLERS band actually started 6 blocks from where I actually live!!! Kudos to you for your channel and your efforts!!
@dawnward4150
Жыл бұрын
BPD is often misdiagnosed with bipolar. DBT is the treatment which is highly successful.
@harrietbaker4484
5 ай бұрын
My hat is off to the man who spoke of his bipolar! Well done to speak and reach out! I have anxiety and can only imagine the challenges of bipolar....keep up the good work and keep hanging in there. Thanks for your conversation. It was helpful to me.
@tenaya20
Жыл бұрын
The second call got me fired up too lol!
@melissabrown9179
Жыл бұрын
The first caller definitely combating alot of tough stuff. But gotta give him credibility for being honest to all the questions.
@YoYo_Ma
Жыл бұрын
Lithium. My dad diagnosed himself with manic depression in the early 80s. His psychiatrist agreed and he's been on meds ever since. My mom told me years ago what a blessing it was. She said she preferred his depressive episodes to his manic ones because they were easier to manage. I'm so thankful to my dad for getting ahold of this problem.
@show_me_your_kitties
9 ай бұрын
Second call about in laws is at 18:21
@jennifermassey3352
Жыл бұрын
YES!! Thank you for the inlaw conversation!!! This helped me sooo much!! "And you sister don't have to put your kids in that situation!" YES!!
@jennyberger6688
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely that is how my dad is to my kids and it pisses me off! He still talk to me like that I’m 32 years old
@braddossdfinc9722
Жыл бұрын
Poor kids. Sounds like mom and dad are both a liability for those five children in the first call
@PCKA1987
Жыл бұрын
Anyone else’s ads out of control? Just a mom trying to get some wisdom during a workout. Not skip ads every 4 minutes. Not interested in another monthly payment to get them to stop.
@flashthecorgi2053
Жыл бұрын
I very rarely get ads on this channel but when I do it’s only like 13 seconds but I do not get ads every 4 mins and I don’t have KZitem premium.
@PCKA1987
Жыл бұрын
@@flashthecorgi2053 lucky! Lol
@christinasmrecek2412
5 ай бұрын
Same boat!
@roberthudson9923
Жыл бұрын
You sang the lyrics wrong in Enter Sandman 😆
@Qwackdawack
4 ай бұрын
Let him sing it his way
@tinam761
Жыл бұрын
The second caller… your Father-in-law is not going to change… at least right away. It’s going to be emotionally tough to carve a new path of healthy relationships. I experienced something similar… I never did call the person out on it because I did when I was a child and experiencing the abuse … it’s abuse… your husband has been and is abused by his father. So, My step mother that abused me … came to visit my home for the first and only time… when I couldn’t see down a hallway etc. she abused my kids too. I never took my kids to visit my dad EVER. I did have a close relationship with my dad and loved him … my kids still loved my dad and step mother (long distance). My dad died this year and it’s quite painful that things played out as they did. It’s weird and complicated because I love my dad … even have live for my step mother. My oldest daughter came to me using words I used to explain how I was being treated and I decided no more… you don’t get to physically hurt my kids out of my view… you don’t get to mentally and emotionally degrade them. Sweet momma, it WILL happen. Behind your back, in an instant … Foe your husband… he may be kind of frozen and feel like he “has” to listen to dad. He doesn’t. He may need more help on the front end of distancing from this family member. No one gets to treat your husband this way (unfortunately he’s used to it and may not see it) No one gets to treat your baby this way. I’ve been there. The stress of being together was not worth it. And I did not allow this person around my kids from that time on. When I saw her a couple times before my dad died she attacked again … no respect at all … I hope things work out better for you … just do what you need to and let it go. For your husband… have the relationship you can have. Don’t expect more … don’t get upset about it. Keep the boundaries and there actually even can be love in that certain space. ❤🙏🏼❤️
@TheEsperKing1
Жыл бұрын
Well said!
@vecczyy6681
Жыл бұрын
I loved the entry singing of Enter Sandman😂
@Dixie8642
6 ай бұрын
Excellent work, DJD.
@KS-md3uj
Жыл бұрын
Poor guy...no one asks for bi polar..
@icedtea4me575
Жыл бұрын
I love what you are doing but let the people talk please.😊
@violetl.4615
Жыл бұрын
Agreed :)
@hansonallie
Жыл бұрын
Doubled up on that Monster energy drink!😺
@courtneyriley185
6 ай бұрын
No i dont want to hear them . I want to hear john give answers not whine and story tell
@ndl78
2 ай бұрын
@@courtneyriley185but he misses out on important details by jumping the gun
@brandyk
2 ай бұрын
Usually he does a little more talking than necessary and belabors a point n it borders on sounding like he just wants to hear himself talk. He's still great bc of the advice he gives n compassion he shows so I take the good with the small bad n I always learn things but this was especially egregious in the call with the small business owner with HR responsibilities. Damn John let her give you some specifics even though your advice would likely have been same as you gave people sometimes want to be heard n vocalize what they imagined they'd say on the call n they can fear cutting him off or running out of time. I also strongly disagree they she "should" tell or share part of her struggles with staff their. Never wouti recommend that especially in the social media n litigious world we are in. Secondly it can come across very disingenuous and patronizing. Not everyone at every time in their life have big stressors let alone actual mental health challenges and to exaggeratie your own problems or even invent some just to set an example or be "relatable" can really backfire. You can show support in the other ways you mentioned n over time people will see that you're not a stuck up robot but that you have people's back as much as an employer can while still maintaining boundaries. After all what else should she do to set an example start taking meds n tell people in her company some of whom by the way are doing totally ok , relatively speaking of course. John did hit the nail on the head in the beginning however about how the raised awareness and comfortability discussing mental health concerns has been positive as well as negative. I think that was the reason she called. She doesn't want to be a b**ch but also feels some of these excuses or situations are going to ruin the business and doesn't know where the line should be personally as well as legally
@jennysaechao7006
Жыл бұрын
Yay, I am here on real time! 😅😊
@TomiaMacQueen
Жыл бұрын
With the in laws hes right BUT there are some cultural differences here. Many cultures believe in a village raising a child and there are MANY positives to that but it also often includes discipline to varying degrees. Not necessarily spanking but possibly. I agree with John decide your values with your husband and stick to them
@stephlalalitta
Жыл бұрын
25:07 HEAR HEAR #1 EXAMPLE OF WHY I FOLLOW
@emmarose6590
Жыл бұрын
I don’t know if whistling at a baby deserves this type of reaction
@eb7280
Жыл бұрын
On the surface I would agree, but the details of the call include that the grandfather makes everyone feel horrible, unapologetically.
@ESLhills
3 ай бұрын
Seems like a distraction which is what you can try with a tantrum. Nobody in my family ever did that, but we did try to distract the baby.
@Jane5720
Жыл бұрын
I would not want to be married to someone with this disease. No, life is hard enough and I don’t need this added for my own mental health. Then he goes on to have five kids obviously this mental health issue didn’t happen overnight so kind of got a put this on his wife two of having so many kids and some of it is Heritity
@Jane5720
Жыл бұрын
John this was a Poor decision in your shirt you’re wearing
@J3llyBean423
Жыл бұрын
AVP 👽 It's cool / but yeah ,... / The posture ... It's a bust/ ... And. Yeah ,.. it kept them safe / an ... For the work. / I put in / I ?? Can't have it ??/ .. cause it makes me known / .... Yeeep
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