I think he said the one most important thing anyone can ever say on this matter: reveal your true imperfect unexpected self and the one that loves you still, loves you, rest are just greedy for the skin and shine.
@RelaxCreatorMary
8 жыл бұрын
+Mainak Bag amen
@gusgrizzel8397
8 жыл бұрын
+Mainak Bag People dont want the real you. They will reject you. They want the media version of you.
@iashrai
8 жыл бұрын
+Gus Grizzel Well those people are not worth keeping. We should simply move on. There are people who are not shallow or blinded by the media.:)
@gusgrizzel8397
8 жыл бұрын
***** Very hard to meet people and very hard to meet deep thinkers.
@iashrai
8 жыл бұрын
Gus Grizzel Agreed. People these days are shallow. And they don't even see it as they are blinded by the media. It is hard to find genuine people but if they come by then we should appreciate them. I like being true to myself and find it hard to be fake or pretend. I have few genuine people in my life and those few are enough:) So try working on yourself and be genuine then you will find the deep thinkers you are looking for :)
@eslgurucalif
8 жыл бұрын
His halting, unpolished presentation style is perfect for his content. He seems to recommend taking off your mask and being vulnerable so that you can find someone who is patient and grounded enough to learn who you really are. One might say he should have been more prepared, that he should have practiced more, especially since English is his second language. But his flawed talk is such a perfect metaphor for his healthy message! And let's face it: even the most confident and professional among us tend to be less so privately, varying by a wide range of degrees, like anyone else. We all wear masks to some extent. The truth is, few of us are as willing to be as vulnerable in front of a crowd of strangers as this gentleman. In a sense, he's practicing what he preaches.
@drama2u
8 жыл бұрын
He is an example of being hinself, being vulnerable, and just saying what's on his mind
@sherryhu6067
7 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@marydenn1023
6 жыл бұрын
Totally agree.
@ashleymarshell9716
6 жыл бұрын
Wow. Amazingly beautiful observation
@spencerpai
5 жыл бұрын
Love your sharing!
@CynthiaRNcom
7 жыл бұрын
"If you show them your real self, they will show you their real self. If you open your heart, they will open their heart." Yes, until you meet Mr. Covert Narcissist.
@quantumeclectic6914
5 жыл бұрын
lol
@cindyirene2001
5 жыл бұрын
100% true
@iamhe77
5 жыл бұрын
Or Mrs. Suddenly Unhappy For No Legitimate Reason.
@SavetheWildOnes
4 жыл бұрын
People do show you their real selves when you are your true self. I know Iv learned that many times when someone has “changed” they had truly always just was that way. But my perception of that person was not the truth. It was only what I wanted them to be not who they truly where.
@saramations
4 жыл бұрын
Tbf, Mr. Covert Narcissist needs love too.
@khateeb321
8 жыл бұрын
Wow, how people are supporting this person in comments section. This proves we still have good people around us. Much appreciated!
@MethmalDhananjaya
2 жыл бұрын
because this is not twitter or Tik Tok
@Sbannmarie
Жыл бұрын
agreed Ahmed
@jj2517
7 жыл бұрын
I love that he chose to give a presentation even with stage fright. That takes a lot of courage and that takes a lot of love for others. Many others would have probably not even considered the idea of giving a talk because of fear
@marialvarez7954
8 жыл бұрын
I want you damn people to realize how brave this guy is to toughen it out and stay strong in front of many people who came there to be inspired... He probably already made himself feel down and embarrassed so leave him alone! We as outsiders shouldn't judge him, and hell i never would have the guts to present my ideas to the world- i would feel so nervous and a wreck- i would die. Kudos to this guy, he made me think about love and about myself, so thats what matters most. It what the presentation leaves you in the end, what you contemplate with yourself as you leave this vid/presentation.
@22charbot
6 жыл бұрын
Mari Alvarez yicu cxtsrhsbgxxrhxegjxf
@22charbot
6 жыл бұрын
I
@MarieBai
8 жыл бұрын
You would think that Ted Talks would attract empathetic, educated and loving people , passionate about life and its mysteries and science and a plethora of other subjects. I am therefore surprised to see so many negative comments. How many of you can say you've never felt afraid or embarrassed about giving a talk in front of so many people? Please, be nice , take away the man points and forget to judge unless you have constructive criticisms to make.
@livp1835
8 жыл бұрын
+Marie Bai thank you! I agree!
@manictiger
8 жыл бұрын
+Marie Bai It's like a war. Who will win? The devils of KZitem (i.e. pseudo-4chan) or the angels coming for the TED talks? Ready? Fight!
@badass6656
8 жыл бұрын
I didn't see that many negative comments considering the delivery and content.
@LizADiaz-bs2vn
8 жыл бұрын
U r very smart and I love ur words!
@jafar3326
8 жыл бұрын
+Lizeyka Toan and i love you i fall in love at the first sight of your profile picture.
@lmSheep
4 жыл бұрын
I literally see no mean comments, just comments talking about mean comments. It's become spam at this point lmao
@Mr_Gives
4 жыл бұрын
Lool Kinda makes you wonder if there ever was any mean comments......
@keatonr776
4 жыл бұрын
Pretty sure its aimed at the 4.8k dislikes compared to 11k likes
@akj7
4 жыл бұрын
Same, but since comments can be deleted ...
@88Timur88Bahmudov88
4 жыл бұрын
Maybe they were deleted, or maybe it's because you use 'sort by popular' in comments, so you see most of good ones, if you try 'sort by date' you might see bad ones too
@erfansvideos
5 жыл бұрын
This is probably one of the very few time we actually see the TRUTH. This is who we truly are people..imperfect. I give this man a lot of credit for showing his vulnerability which is EXACTLY what he’s talking about.
@mountainswitchback9380
5 жыл бұрын
The person that makes you feel the most comfortable & genuine. You have the freedom to explore life and yourself and you know they will still be at your side. Your partner has to be your best friend.
@ladyOluvsU
8 жыл бұрын
i really liked him!! He was funny, vulnerable, and genuine
@adNauseam6798
3 жыл бұрын
Why don’t ya marry him, sheesh.
@charliquedobney6511
3 жыл бұрын
Same, he sounds soooo kind.
@prateekbhardwaj9943
9 жыл бұрын
i like this guy and his sense of humor.. sorry guys but i liked it..
@jamesgrey13
9 жыл бұрын
+prateek Bhardwaj Apology accepted!
@stanulrik9112
8 жыл бұрын
No need to be sorry, I liked him too :)
@aliyarahman85
7 жыл бұрын
the sincerity of his words was heartwarming. I loved it
@theshunzun
9 жыл бұрын
To me, the last thing he said made the whole talk worth while. "Show your true face, and they will show you theirs" "You open up your heart, and they will open up theirs". As a person learning to deconstruct his own masks and express himself more authentically and with integrity, it makes sense that true love is about two people connecting with their vulnerable selves, and to not just act a certain way to rope a person into a relationship where both stick around out of obligation rather than a desire or love for each other. To be vulnerable and authentic, heart to heart, soul to soul, rather than image to image, or surface to surface. Generally what attracts a person to you, keeps a person attracted to you- so if you're playing a front, you either have to continue pretending (where you'll most likely be miserable for being so disconnected from yourself), or you will have to break it off, because it will take too much energy for both of you to sustain! Now as to HOW to learn how to do that...that would be an entirely different subject, that becomes related to one's personal journey.
@sygb.550
9 жыл бұрын
I couldn't agree more👍
@izabelaR
8 жыл бұрын
+Asier naiz Interesting...
@nefertariwhite
8 жыл бұрын
*STANDING OVATION* so we'll said!
@ZosiaSamosiaOo
8 жыл бұрын
Oh come on, I won't be totally free and open with him from the very start. He has to earn my trust. I have to find out whether I feel comfortable enough to completely be myself with him in the first place, and thankfully this is how I will protect myself from getting hurt by a nearly stranger who knew much too much before it turned out that's not it.
@mariolal804
8 жыл бұрын
+Feras Khagani I went through something like that and have to say that if I'm completely honest deconstructing is the most intense and painful process under the Sun, and it can be maddening However, necessary as it is rewarding! I wish you luck, patience and a lot of love (to surround you and to keep pouring into you and from you- because it so ...so very much helps to have it) to rebuild, to reshape, to become a more spiritually confident fearlessly loving you! Good Luck to you (All) too reading my comment. May you find your twin flame... ! Mariola.
@deanna.radiant
9 жыл бұрын
Omideargosh!!!! why so much hate??? Isn't this his 2nd presentation, and he is trying his best to share his knowledge with us folks and it seems like English isn't even his first language. His message makes a lot of sense to me, we have to be our TRUE selves, be sincere and honest with our relationships and love. Most of the time we fall in love with some people and then later find out they aren't the ones we first fell in love with because they were being fake just to be in love with us. I really enjoyed this message.
@Pleebian94
9 жыл бұрын
Deanna Radiant One size doesn't fit all you know. A relationship isn't for everyone.
@cr4yv3n
9 жыл бұрын
+Deanna Radiant probably because he says what every other so-called "love guru" says. And it's complete bullshit. If guys don't "change" women don't want them. If they change this clown comes along and tells them they are not "themselves" - no shit sherlock
@gusgrizzel8397
8 жыл бұрын
+cr4yv3n And if women aren't strikingly beautiful, men don't want them. Most guys are not looking for a relationship. They want sex. Hence the looks matter. I don't believe men fall in love, period. Men get turned on, have lust for a woman. That's it.
@robertmoore6816
8 жыл бұрын
+Gus Grizzel You are so way off. That may be your experience but it is not true for us all. I was happily married for 13 wonderful years. We where as perfect a match as you could possibly find. As far as looks, I have seen very many people that are physically attractive at first sight. But, then they open their mouths and they are the most unattractive person in the world.
@gusgrizzel8397
8 жыл бұрын
robert moore So what happened to the marriage if it was so wonderful? I ca'n say "You're wrong" back. It's your opinion, not fact.
@niecybaby1960
8 жыл бұрын
I was still unclear about how to find the right parnter. But I appreciate him offering us something deeper than just sex, money and power. He was very nervious and thats ok, he'll get better!
@crestaljean824
3 жыл бұрын
I love how authentic he is, the pauses, the emphasis of words. Thank you Sir.
@boskiboski1025
2 жыл бұрын
I love you crestal jean ❤️❤️❤️
@mimimi9169
4 жыл бұрын
Moral of the story: always be yourself and your partner fall in love with that true self
@Sabella11
8 жыл бұрын
Real authentic delivery---time and experience can help but courage is probably the biggest part of speaking in front of groups. This man has that courage. :) Bravo.
@fredjohnson9997
3 жыл бұрын
Hello Elyse..
@Mythbusters2021
Жыл бұрын
This authenticity was manufactured to make the content to stand out
@paulap2480
7 жыл бұрын
its really hard to speak in front of people especially is English isn't your first language props
@nouransamy5301
6 жыл бұрын
I got impressed by this man ,his authentic speech deliverd all what he asked for, to be yourself to have enough courage to show your flaws and confess your faults as if this is the last time to talk about yourself, so you need to be wholeheartedly honest about who you are ..the biggest life challenge ever foe all of us to be ourselves .
@downbntout
8 жыл бұрын
His bit, that a man must touch her heart before he touches her and that a woman must touch him before she touches his heart - I liked that.
@Tigerlily15H
8 жыл бұрын
Yes. It's very true indeed.
@Kemi116
7 жыл бұрын
What does he mean by that reference?
@littlesometin
7 жыл бұрын
I wanna know too
@jalpapatel7169
7 жыл бұрын
this is the only new thing I learned from this whole presentation
@wolfferoni
7 жыл бұрын
Correct me if I'm wrong but to me it was that in order for a guy to touch her (I assume sexually), he has to touch her heart, win her emotionally and have her fall for him. But it's the opposite for the other gender. A woman has to touch him physically before he will fall for her. If this is the correct interpretation, I don't really like that quote.
@danawine-howard874
10 жыл бұрын
I think he made great points and everytime someone is new it's not 100% smooth. We all have to start somewhere and we all improve with experience. I'm sure by how he rocks! For those frustrated by him, I guess I'd say all you had to do was click stop?...
@piotr.kaczmarski
8 жыл бұрын
Negative voters judge the presentation. Positive voters judge the message.
@Fernwehish
8 жыл бұрын
+Piotr Kaczmarski ...And the message was strongly stereotyped, corny and simplistic.
@piotr.kaczmarski
8 жыл бұрын
+Fernweh Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man...
@Fernwehish
8 жыл бұрын
Let me tell you something, pendejo... You have a nice day, sir!
@piotr.kaczmarski
8 жыл бұрын
+Fernweh ;)
@dianamalak7179
9 жыл бұрын
Although it was a rather clumsy presentation, he had some really good things to say. Love his last point about not putting on a show and just keeping it real from the start. And to add to that, I think we should be able to enjoy our own company first before we can be genuinely happy with others. I have to be there for myself and be in my own skin before I can make a good long term partner. Once we are there, relationships aren't so difficult.
@Rinnie176
7 жыл бұрын
It's so good to see that the man is sincere and he still has good sense of humour while being so nervous :)
@spinnetti
9 жыл бұрын
Everybody talks about Meeting your "ideal mate" That's the easy part, as most of that is choice and commitment, not happenstance. Its what happens in mid-life that defines how strong your bond is. My observations are these: Whatever you started with that drew you together will likely not sustain you when biology intervenes around your 50's, its not because your bodies are no longer attractive, you've grown tired of each other, there is nothing more to discover about each other or as a person you've changed so much, its because the hormonal glue that binds you begins to dissolve and most people aren't aware of it. I'm of the opinion that there are several elements that "glue" you together (the names and numbers aren't critical, just the concept). 1. Physical, 2. Emotional, 3.Social (religion, shy/outgoing etc) and 4. Intellectual (politics, attitude towards learning and personal growth, liberal vs. conservative etc). If you have a match on just one of those, its probably not going to last very long. I think you can have a pretty good marriage if you have even just two of those if you both try, at least until biology shuts off the affection... If you have all 3 or 4, you can probably go the distance. But, as mentioned, often in the 50's men stop reaching the heart, and women stop reaching the body, so there had better be some strong "glue" with what's left or unhappiness is bound to ensue. I think all the couple's therapies, religion, counseling etc. is misguided unless they address the root biological changes that dim the hormonal ties as we age and what to do when that's gone. The simple fact is, in the main, menopause kills off the desire in women long before men slow down (for perfectly reasonable biological reasons), and the disparity causes conflict due to unmet needs and an ongoing cycle of withdrawal by both men and women as women don't feel cherished, and men stop even wanting to "reach the heart" due to their unmet needs.
@amyV10844
9 жыл бұрын
Very insightful..
@alibbullock
9 жыл бұрын
spinnetti I think you should give a TEDx talk:)
@brontewcat
9 жыл бұрын
@spinnetti I think your idea of meeting on 4 criteria hits the nail on the head. But you may not start out with more than one, but as you live with someone you may start meeting on others. I find when you love someone you try to become interested in what they like or understand their beliefs. Where both (can't be just one) do this genuinely then a couple may grow together instead of apart. This is not to say my comment is a formula it's an observation of one factor that may lead to a good relationship that lasts. You still need to like (not just love), show respect to and have good communication with the other person and I am sure there are other factors.
@heartstormer3
9 жыл бұрын
HI TONY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO REAL and so Vulnerable and I thought that your ability to be a Masculine example of open hearted and no mask was so authentic, which in my book, deserves a heartfelt standing ovation. I am an a LMFT for over 23 years, I am tuff to be impressed. and the Heart with the words in in that sums everything up, at its core and , when it is all, said and done, .... Befor you can touch a woman... you MUST ( or are most often, required to touch her heart..... and before you can really touch a man's heart, they need their body touched.... most usually first.... I watched it twice
@sakuradeva555
8 жыл бұрын
I wish I was brave enough to talk in public :)
@chaos4854
8 жыл бұрын
it's a skill you have to practice like anything else. public speaking is the most common phobia but it can be overcome.
@mastuerzo8559
8 жыл бұрын
Although there are different technics, for me works to imagine either I am talking to only one person or that the audience are all of them my relatives and always in the presentations I have a bubble gum in the mouth.
@larrywilson9392
7 жыл бұрын
It depends on how badly you want to say something.
@SheSpiltTheCoffee
10 жыл бұрын
"Before you can touch a mans heart, you need to touch him" What the actual fuck? Is this guy serious?
@emchorgan1
10 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha i laughed at this ...i know right!!
@nraiano
9 жыл бұрын
It's incredible how hostile & negative so many of the comments on this video are considering how sweet & simple his message actually is. I think there's far more going on than meets the eye to all of this negative feedback. I think it's most likely fueled by lots of people with very poor relationship skills who failed to extract anything of value from his sweet simple message. What I took from it is that a woman should be affectionate to a man in order for him to open up his heart but not necessarily sexual & that a man should try to do likewise before trying to touch her sexually. This doesn't mean absolutely any man & woman are compatible just that by not rushing into sex you can get to know someone & build a solid foundation for life on. Maybe it will last, maybe it won't, either way it will be much sturdier than hormonal attraction.
@yaelizavetaeshtehardi6221
9 жыл бұрын
Gabriel Raiano No one is saying he isn't a sweet/nice person but this is a TED talk and it was structured badly, presented extremely poorly and gave very little insight and was not up to standard.
@BeckyNguyenjuly
8 жыл бұрын
+Gabriel Raiano I think people want "do this, this, and this, and everything will work" - the magic formula and are disappointed when that doesnt happen. I love his sincerity actually, as well as the content of his speech. People are quick to be very, very mean.
@AustinTexas6thStreet
8 жыл бұрын
Probably some truth to what you say. I also think some people are just really frustrated because they feel like they really can use some good advice and are disappointed to simply hear the same stuff they have heard over and over again. It is jst frustration most likely rather than true anger or unfair judgments. They just need to realize that even if they got zero help from it there are gonna be other people who feel they learned something new. Actually, i have seen comments like that here. And for us who learned nothing new we are free to seek out more and more advice til we find what we need.
@livp1835
8 жыл бұрын
Hello! yes, yes, no yes...Indeed such a sweet talk..a very sweet man, with a lovely message....HOWEVER..NOT sure if people noticed- that it was a TEDx talk....as a rule the TED talks are FAR more meticulously curated; the speakers given extensive training and practice. The TEDxers....Nowhere near. Just a tip- as I know peoples time is SO precious, that the time they devote- they want the best. A helpful tip; as I found myself thinking the same- then I read an interview with the dude who runs TED- and he explained the process etc; behind the choices, why the TED talks are all at 17-18 mins...(another giveaway- the Xrs tend to be shorter too) PS- this fact- re the TEDxrs in NO way takes anything away from them; anyone who does a TED talk- X or not- is amazing...fabulous; my note is a mere mention, that the Xrs do NOT have the prep and support of the big main TED group, team- so we need to perhaps have a more generous ...um...how to say...oh- you get it... :-)
@Kemi116
7 жыл бұрын
Wow, you contextualized his speech very well and pinpointed some very insightful message there. Really appreciate your comment, thank you!!
@BeenaKK
3 жыл бұрын
Simply loved his presentation. He being so authentic and real in this fake world. He personifies his message very clearly. Be Vulnerable and be honest. The other authentic half will simply arrive in your life. Kudos to Tony Verheij!!!!!
@saras.8214
5 жыл бұрын
To be honest, this is the most interesting presentation i've seen. It was so wrong but it seemed to flow so well, that got me thinking that he maybe wanted it to be like this, ending with "if you open your true self, people will love you" and he opened himself and his stage fright and now our emotions have intensified towards him! Brilliant ! Takes regular presentations to a different level.
@mlashley39
3 жыл бұрын
A perfect example of what to do when you have stage fright, he didn't use filler words too much (ie. um), he just paused and thought about what he was going to say. I don't know about everyone else but even though he "choked" he still got his message across and it wasn't even awkward.
@heytherebarry
3 жыл бұрын
Well done Tony, that must've been a daunting task to condense your talk into 4 minutes in front of a full audience but you did really well.
@karinas5833
5 жыл бұрын
This is a very sweet, short yet for me, ground-breaking. True love is based on love and acceptance of who you are which will only happen if you show your true self. Moreover, true love is based on loving the person because you love them as who they are without subconsciously thinking that you will manipulate them to change in the future,
@sylviap880
10 жыл бұрын
No, his formula would be just to not hide anything, to be open and honest and someone else would be open and honest so that you dont fall in love with a false image of someome. And I think he was right when he said: " Before you can touch a woman you need to touch her heart. Before you can touch a man's heart you need to touch him." Now which goes first is the problem.
@rogerthecactus
9 жыл бұрын
i get the part about touching women... but i don't get the part about touching men? does that imply to sex? do i need to have sex with a man befor he can love or is enough if i just hold his hand... but then again... if i'm touching him he's touching me to... and he ain't alowed to do that before he touches my heart... so i think it's a looooong proces before anyone gets to touch anything
@TinyShaman
9 жыл бұрын
This presenter is SO full of crap. Big promises, zero delivery. But most of all, the completely delusional premise that he KNOWS anything about staying happy in marriage. Firstly, ten years is not that much. And secondly, the guy could simply be lucky to find an extremely suitable partner. We don't want to listen to business advice from people who were lucky to win a jack pot in a casino, or a national lottery, do we?
@susanna0703
9 жыл бұрын
I don't think he actually said anything at all. I genuinely watched the talk twice thinking I had missed something, but there was just nothing at all of substance in there.
@TinyShaman
9 жыл бұрын
susanna0703 Twice?! I admire your dedication. :-) In any case, you haven't missed anything, that's for sure. The whole presentation sounds like a lame lead-up to a cheesy date-club-style "Oh, hey! Look at all those other lonely people! Go get 'em!" What a load of bricks.
@susanna0703
9 жыл бұрын
TinyShaman Exactly - especially as his talk promises that you're going to find the love of your life. Somehow it seems unlikely to be the result of going 'well, here's a room full of single people, let me jump on one of them'.
@d1want34
9 жыл бұрын
lucky haahhahahahahaah
@TinyShaman
9 жыл бұрын
Ridhuan Abu Bakar I really don't understand what amuses you in "lucky". Could you explain?
@Claxa24
7 жыл бұрын
He is simple and spontaneous and honest , I felt his words and I have received his message
@sagara4e
10 жыл бұрын
I think he tried his best so thank you for the presentation!
@javajimmy1090
4 жыл бұрын
What I took from this presentation: Even if you are afraid and nervous, you can do it if you just go with it and trust on support from others. And: be honest to find true love.
@tatan4939
5 жыл бұрын
I admire this guy for sharing his thoughts despite he might not be very comfortable with it. Great topic. Great talk 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@Grace-nk6wn
3 жыл бұрын
Watching today, i need to hear this. Very natural and sincere.
@annabambamjerky
7 жыл бұрын
This was so cute I loved this presentation
@swaggedout1995
7 жыл бұрын
You're pretty cute yourself, I might add
@annabambamjerky
7 жыл бұрын
chocolatemilk haha thanks :)
@swaggedout1995
7 жыл бұрын
Anele Malinga you're welcome 😉
@mnorwo2
4 жыл бұрын
"You don't need multiple possibilities, you just need the RIGHT one"!
@AmandaJPChin
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you Mr. Verheij. I suffer from stage frights but you taught me something other than what you're delivering. You've taught me that being myself is the only confidence that i need. Plus, you nailed it! :)
@dheyaebrahim4850
2 жыл бұрын
“Show your true face they will show you their true face” 👍👏👏👏
@danniellec2308
8 жыл бұрын
Wishing Tony Verheij well and hope he comes back and does the presentation again.
@MsCordially
9 жыл бұрын
He has a point, but it's very simplistic. It's true that a woman's heart must be touched, it's true that a man must be touched - however that's easier said than done. You can't just see a woman that you greatly desire, then try hard to touch her heart , most times you might scare her to death, you have to be her type lots of times. and any woman who really likes a man can touch him , does NOT mean she will keep him because of it. His talk is more a general way to keep a relationship after it has already been around a while
@ZackV2496
6 жыл бұрын
I salute ur courage .I do also have stage fright...it aint easy to stand in front of people and share what u want to share....thank u for sharin ur wisdom about this talk...
@JaM66237
8 жыл бұрын
awww. his nervousness is so adorable. beautiful message though
@evanlabrant5448
9 жыл бұрын
I know a lot of people are hating on this presentation, and rightfully so... this is why I shy away from TEDx Talks and stick to the TED main stage.
@juileebaride9998
7 жыл бұрын
Tony, you did a great job! I wish I could know more of what you had skipped so I could learn more about how to find the topic!It takes courage to stand up on stage and talk.
@111tanyss
6 жыл бұрын
What a sweet, brave, authentic and genuine soul. His wife is very lucky
@TheFavoredWoman
7 жыл бұрын
lovely TEDx Talk, Tony is a real person with real fears, I respect his courage to attempt to speak publicly even if he is nervous.
@youtubeuser9938
2 жыл бұрын
Love from Kerala, INDIA 🇮🇳♥️
@zameelvisharathodi7859
2 жыл бұрын
ഹലോ👋
@princesjasmyn
10 ай бұрын
I give him a lot of credit for going out of his comfort zone by public speaking. Good job!
@romyjugroo4542
9 жыл бұрын
In my opinion,finding the right partner is the easy part,being the right partner is a daily battle with a few disadvantages but an awful lot of benefits as the years add up.
@1HUMANIT1NATION
10 жыл бұрын
the only pint i love most from this video is be true to yourself & your partner that will open up both of your hearts.
@point2600
10 жыл бұрын
he seems totally broken hearted
@lindaelenazalite4480
7 жыл бұрын
Much respect for going out from the comfort zone and challenge yourself with speaking up to the auditorium even being afraid of that! That is courages and amazing. Thank you! :)
@MaNdlovuMinini
10 жыл бұрын
He was really nervous- I understand that. And I kinda feel bad for him, all the comments... could be a bit more constructive guys. Mr Tony Verheij- I would like to hear you do the same presentation. Just a little less nervous :)
@heatherstokes613
9 жыл бұрын
Geez, I know right? People act as if they have never been nervous before.
@daneelmalyshev4086
8 жыл бұрын
For a guy who only dis that for his second time fair play brave. courageous. A lot of mistakes but he did it in the end👏👏👏
@nziha77gmail
9 жыл бұрын
All is about to open yourself to others without any fears and assuming who you are. Thanks for sharing.
@FreeSpirit47
9 жыл бұрын
This was only the guys' second presentation and not in his native language. It had to be difficult for him. Want some good advice about love & life? get into your own life, Find your own passions, then, live them. Think positive, be happy in your own life. The rest will happen as it's supposed to.
@eveheart2876
8 жыл бұрын
Indeed :)
@larrywilson9392
7 жыл бұрын
Wow, Brenda! You single?
@thomaskittock2866
7 жыл бұрын
Excellent speech! He did very well for his second speech ever.
@Mithr4s
2 жыл бұрын
Everyone had a second presentation at some point in their life. I'm glad that mine isn't uploaded on the web. Takes allot of courage to do it in front of a camera!
@taticosta1469
7 жыл бұрын
My goodness. He has just applied some kind of technique on me, and many of us. I've never watched twice on the sequence any of the talks I have loved the most. Many times I have thought I loved a talk, but 5 minutes later it was not worth to share or comment anymore (yes, ok, it is my fault, I am volatile). But by getting confused with his seconds of silent being at Ted's channel... it made me wonder what's was going on. English is not my first language neither so I was being tolerant, since maybe it was my fault not be getting everything. Then I got to read some comments and I saw the variate of opinion, and then I was watching it again.... and... it was really another talk by the second time I watched... it was all there, all clear, and better, all unforgettably unforgettable! I really believe it was planned, in a great way. He used a lot of visual sources which spoke for themselves. He did exactly what he wanted: to show vulnerability and prove us how much we love the made and not the original, the prepared and not the real sometimes.... but that we should be ready to see love and life in the different areas with a more comprehensive eyes and less judgmental criticism. Even because there is no such talk which would teach you "how to find the 'right' person".' It was brilliant!
@holypiper
7 жыл бұрын
i have doubts that it was a real guy's plan, but i want to believe(c). i really admire your way of looking on the world, this is so rare, rich and beautiful! please keep it!
@taticosta1469
7 жыл бұрын
Маша Куликова thanks a lot for your comment!
@3506Dodge
8 жыл бұрын
many people just aren't relationship material. WE have to accept this and do the best we can.
@currishev
10 жыл бұрын
His "presentation" has proved the point: Love not only blinds at first sight, but in course of 10 happy years it makes a man over-confident fool who believes in his worthiness as a speaker.
@rogerthecactus
9 жыл бұрын
i applouded him for taking the chance and go publicly speaking even though he's aware that he can't do it... it takes real fuckin courage to do that so we should support that kind of action... otherwise everything he said was completely uneducated, dumb and pointless... but at least he's got balls!! and self-confidence!!!!
@miketucker9362
4 жыл бұрын
In case anyone didn’t catch his body language. The reason for his bizarre presentation is because he wasn’t wearing a mask. Congrats Tony!
@fritzauguste6669
4 жыл бұрын
I love it, presentation skills will get better with practice but the message was well received. Thank you Tony Verheil
@mso2443
9 жыл бұрын
I LIKED IT! I noticed he was very nervous, and understandably, but I adore his accent and think he has some value to offer if you pay attention and look beyond his nervousness. Hopefully he will have done more speeches by now and is more comfortable on the stage in front of cameras... :) Props, Tony... for your courage to get out there! (Your accent is ADORABLE!!!)
@FrancesShear
4 жыл бұрын
One thing is for sure when it comes to whom I would be willing to try marriage with again. He is not going to be someone who likes to look for arguments while often taking offense by misconstruing what I way to him so he can demonstrate how much smarter and stronger he is than me.
@foofixers5938
10 жыл бұрын
. . . so the answer, if i'm getting this right, is to go to one of his lectures, wait for him to come to a bumbling holt, then jump on a pretty person, waving their hands in the air. Hey, no wonder i'm single. Probably just as well that i'm cool with it, because i don't think i'll be traveling to one of his lectures any time soon. But bless him all the same.
@larrywilson9392
7 жыл бұрын
He believes in love at first sight. That's refreshing.
@Lanamarri36712
6 жыл бұрын
He was sincere and genuine I don’t think American men know how to be like this.. it could be a European thing... I opened my heart to someone I fell in love with too quickly I couldn’t contain my emotions and it scared me because I have never been like that But he ran away afraid of his emotions so I guess on the end it wasn’t meant to be. Being a Sagittarius I am emotional but at my age I’ve learned to tamper it but not in this situation which ended in heart break 💜😔
@fredjohnson9997
3 жыл бұрын
Hello Lana..
@ulikemel89
4 жыл бұрын
I liked it, I wish he talked more. I hope he does a part two lol
@jacksmith5867
2 жыл бұрын
🙌🏾💯
@nickacelvn
9 жыл бұрын
It cant be easy standing up there .... keep at it buddy
@NovakommsUK
9 жыл бұрын
I don't care about the quality of the presentation but rather what he was trying to say - beauty goes with years but what always remains is the character and values of the person which is something to fall in love with before falling for the looks.
@rogerthecactus
9 жыл бұрын
i completely agree... that's why i think it's impossible (if you want this kind of meaningful relationship) to fall in love on the first sight... since on the first sight you only see the physical appearance
@NovakommsUK
9 жыл бұрын
People generally get attracted by the looks naturally and then judge the character. If the character matches the looks then voila you have the perfect match but you won't (really) find out the character after being with that person for years and seeing how they are in various situations. Falling in love with the character of someone and realising they are not "your usual type" looks wise could be just as strong I think.
@marklong2817
8 жыл бұрын
Finally, 1 got one point from presentation, for man be considerate and good to woman so she feels it in her mind and for woman more physical closeness. Bit more complicated to do but worth a try
@milijanas
10 жыл бұрын
Here is the point as I get it: it needs to be a biological, chemical and psychological match physical attraction it's the love of the first sight no masks! man touches woman's heart we touch each other woman touches man's heart it will last till the death and I empathize with him having presentation problems ;)
@benhofmeyer
10 жыл бұрын
Het beste advies dat ik ooit kreeg was om niet een tekst in te studeren. Vertel je verhaal zoals je dat ook aan je vrienden zou vertellen dat werkt fantastisch.
@quantumfloyd10
8 жыл бұрын
Why soo many dislikes? This is better than most of the other 30 or 40 TEDx talks I've seen..
@Vention1MGTOW
10 жыл бұрын
50% divorce rate and 70% of divorces are filed by women. When my best friend's (no sex for 2 years) wife freaked out when he cheated and had the cops haul him off to jail for 3 months. I agonized over it for 4 months and then I finally decided that I could never marry. What my friend went through would have certainly killed me. Best choice I ever made. Paid off my first home in 11 years. Nice house nice rental income, income 4580 and about 2250 of that is totally surplus. Hah! If you open up your heart, she'll rip it out and the family court will cut it in half, then they expect you to keep functioning and earning money as an exile from your family, when you only have half your heart in your chest. No thanks! That's a recipe for disaster. I would probably lay down and die if that happened to me. So my best bet is to skip marriage. I made that choice 17 years ago, back in 1997.
@Snarge22
10 жыл бұрын
The median length of marriages is 8 years in the US now. Long enough for a woman to hatch out a couple of kids and collect a check. It simply makes no sense anymore to sign up to such a commitment only to be kicked out of ones own home yet still be obligated for the support. Has anyone noticed how the huge efficiencies in domestic labor has freed women to enter the paid workforce? Anyone noticed it's also freed men from needing a wife? It's that easy today guys (Vention is great example).
@VinBiofuel
10 жыл бұрын
Kudos to Vention. Luckily i'm bi so I have an alternative to these leeches.
@anncervales1492
10 жыл бұрын
Marry me.
@Vention1MGTOW
10 жыл бұрын
Ann Cervales *>Marry me.
@anncervales1492
9 жыл бұрын
:)
@TheFlowThatGoes
9 жыл бұрын
This approach seems totally fantastic and a lifesaver on first glance, it seems to math up to all the advice people have given me, but my own experiences tell me that this is not how the world works at all.
@GoldenDelicious78
7 жыл бұрын
I so admire this guy! You did well and you were so brave to get up there to say all the wise things you said! ❤️
@heniag1205
4 жыл бұрын
Wow. So simple and yet so deep and meaningful. 😍
@smoothiestrawberry4824
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you Tony for sharing wonderful insight! Your message is so simple and no-brainer but we do get along with our daily lives not aware of that powerful message. Thank you for reminding me and presenting me in a clear and concise manner. I really appreciate it!
@carolina-hk3to
7 жыл бұрын
it is so basic and we are all born with it ♥ but somewhere down the road we lose it...time to find it again and let it into our hearts and souls..honesty sincerity and love .but at first learn to embrace these things towards ourselves.
@shuvellmum1424
9 жыл бұрын
In my view it absolutely imperative that the two are firm friends if anything is going to come of their relations. I had an engagement where We were not friends and at the end I walked away from it feeling like I never really knew him and yet my current partner was my best friend and after 7 years (today) we are still best friends but everything else is there too. We are the best kind of team there is.
@MegaPhannie
9 жыл бұрын
i think he means, we should not pretend as someone we are not and let that prospect partner see who we really are from the get go so that when you get married it will last.
@CoDLover7771
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the Tedx Talk Mr. Verheij :)
@quinnli6108
7 жыл бұрын
okay , its for all ,i believe he had missed when a man is looking for another man ,or a woman is looking for another woman is also love .
@malumaldonado5567
7 жыл бұрын
Tony I loved your presentation, I wish you had more time so I would learn more. Thank you, keep the good work!!
@cindyhalpern3187
9 ай бұрын
I felt sorry for him. I show my true face too soon. It doesn't always work. People need time to get to know you gradually. I am divorced twice and was in a long term relationship. I revealed myself too quickly. He wasn't ready to give this talk. But with practice, he can improve.
@graceamelia1331
3 жыл бұрын
Am looking forward for the man of my dream, who is loving, caring and focus.
@lemmings6516
7 жыл бұрын
its so cool that he delivers a presentation in a langugae that is not even his native language in front of such a crowd! :)
@kindregardskatie
8 жыл бұрын
your very brave.. important msg definately!! Look for someone who loves your flaws & vice versa...true love only grows stronger & stronger ♡
@filmgirlLisa
9 жыл бұрын
Just remember, Tony. Practice! Practice! Practice!!
@hebince44
9 жыл бұрын
So basically: 1) physical (neanderthal) attractiveness dies out over time. 2) we need to have mental attractiveness to the person 3) a man needs to teach a woman's heart before he can touch her and a woman needs to touch a man before she can touch his heart. Well this seems stupid, but it's actually quite accurate. I mean, you don't need to sleep with him at day one (DON'T), but I've found that the girls that got me in love with them had been flirting with me beforehand. They'd look into my eyes and eventually start touching my arms, or bumping into me on purpose. What he says is true. I just failed to touch their heart. I'll try it.
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