Wingmen are great, but I honestly think going out solo is in a lot of ways the best and purest form of game. Here's how to do it so you don't feel awkward, and so that you actually succeed!
Go out alone completely sober, no drinking alcohol. Just you, your indomitable human spirit, your massive balls, and your future you congratulating you.
@britox.6216
4 ай бұрын
I went from the creepy guy in the corner of the bar with a beer in his hand to opening every group that came into the damn place. I want to say within 6 months of solo nightgame
@swaggybaconcheese1566
4 ай бұрын
Crazy how quick that shit happens too
@Horvat55555
4 ай бұрын
Just need to start opening.
@junior5146
4 ай бұрын
I've started dancing salsa and bachata two years ago and it is one of the best things you can do if you want to go solo. I have made tons of new friends. I usually go by myself and there are always at least 5 people I can hang out with.
@khairt1731
4 ай бұрын
Do you mean when you go out alone you dance from what you learned at the dance school and thats how you make friends?
@junior5146
4 ай бұрын
@@khairt1731 Yes pretty much. There are social dances going on every week that you can attend and practice what you learned. Just stay friendly and cool and people will want to get to know you and dance with you. Don't make it obvious that you are there just to attract women.
@JakeOFM
4 ай бұрын
How long it take to get decent dancing
@user-zx6in2sd7b
4 ай бұрын
@@JakeOFM It depends. If you have good balance, rythm and coordination and you know how to relax your body parts on demand and you have a good proprioception then i would say 1-3 months. For a regular guy without any of these skills it would be 6-12 months.
@iz9447
4 ай бұрын
Yep, definitely this… Keep in mind, you don’t have to totally immerse yourself into the dance world. If you like board games, go and find people who do that. Or if you genuinely enjoy a specific activity, go and find that community. Makes it so much easier to mesh with the kind of crowd you’d naturally gravitate to anyway. Personally, I love dancing so that’s what I like to do often (every week or every other weekend.)
@manuelherk3236
2 ай бұрын
Advice from my side: pay attention to your feelings and think it through why exactly youre nervous, why you care about other ppls thoughts and never forget that youre here for just a while until youre dead and nobody will give a shot anymore. Just do your thing for you, its all for you
@drwayne_carter9115
4 ай бұрын
My success rate of taking a girl home is drastically higher when i go out solo. I have more of a go-getter mindset and attitude going out alone because i know that if i dont put in the effort to be social, ill be alone all night and thats kindve like a fear. When i go out with buddies i find myself standing around and chit chatting with them all night and occasionally checking girls out but never making a move because i know if i dont try to be social with girls ill still have my buddies there to keep me company.
@TheSecteur4
4 ай бұрын
This is becoming important--More videos and advice on this please
@andycx2
4 ай бұрын
Also a lot of the Trendy bars in the UK are table service only nowadays. They don't let you sit at bar and don't want you to interact with people you never came in with. It's weird. You have to go to the rougher places to really be able to game nowadays. Especially on your own.
@swaggybaconcheese1566
4 ай бұрын
I HATE table service bars
@VuNguyen-fv5jl
3 ай бұрын
Table service bars sound so lane
@nathanhardman7143
4 ай бұрын
I feel more confident alone than with friends for some reason
@CoachSteveJandS
4 ай бұрын
Friends sometime say the worst, most disruptive things at the crucial points in time...
@khairt1731
4 ай бұрын
I always go out alone
@C4ioPereira20
4 ай бұрын
@@i0li0il0i your mom
@C4ioPereira20
4 ай бұрын
@@i0li0il0i nah
@C4ioPereira20
4 ай бұрын
@xyz0zyx that's funny, yours told me something similar in the back of my car 🥵
@dameanvil
4 ай бұрын
00:00 💪 Going out solo can be an empowering experience, allowing you to focus solely on your own interactions without the pressure of others. 01:59 🤔 Concerns about going out solo are often exaggerated; most people are too preoccupied with their own activities to notice. 03:32 🗣 Approach anxiety can be alleviated through gradual exposure and self-paced desensitization techniques. 05:38 🎉 Joining events or themed nights provides a structured environment for socializing, reducing the stigma of being out alone. 07:18 🤝 You don't necessarily need a male wingman; going out with female friends can build trust and comfort, potentially aiding your interactions.
@CoachSteveJandS
4 ай бұрын
This is the video right here!!! 💪🏻
@skeyloud274
4 ай бұрын
Solo game is the best, massive freedom, full 1 to 1 speak, everything can happen.
@aaronjohnstone2800
4 ай бұрын
3 years this is nuts
@KostasSiderisBarista
4 ай бұрын
When I went out alone, I stopped asking friends to hung out with me if I wanted to get some. Alone is way better
@Arn13201013
4 ай бұрын
Hi Todd, the video about tension you released a few weeks ago was fantastic and touches on a point, validation, that is core to game but often missed. I know you made a video about validation a few years ago. But still I feel the subject is a bit fuzzy. This idea that a girl’s self-identify can be tied to your appreciation of her (at least in the moment) through not value only but a mix of parameters in the interaction is very powerful. So I guess my question would be: could you please describe some of those parameters that tend to elicit validation and by which mean they do it (first and foremost the ones over which we have actual control - referring to the « if a girl thinks you have a crush on her and then realize that you don’t » example which is a bit out of one’s hand). I’m particularly interested in the way validation could be elicited BOTH by qualification (she’s special for x reason which justifies why you like her and she wants to keep that good feeling) AND by prompts to justify, disqualification, negs, framing as a win of sorts. (Being understood that many game techniques/interaction parameters can touch on validation one way or the other and that ultimately it’s the girl’s choice to see you as a source of validation or not, but could be interesting to attach to those techniques/parameters which have the most chances at provoking that effect.) Lenghty question. Hope you can treat it somehow. Thank you for the very qualitative content. Incontestably the most consistent and insightful voice in dating / game.
@ZM-dm3jg
Ай бұрын
How odd that you believe validation dynamics are not discussed often, it is one of the most talked about parts of game by all coaches. Even going back to the oldschool days of Mystery, validation and devalidation were a huge part of his model of game
@Starsteam1
4 ай бұрын
Overall what is a good step by step model to follow in game? For example Open-tease-vibe-flirt-qualify-seed-close. Is there a better way to view this that is benefitable for practicing in sessions? Especially for escalation.
@michaeljeacock
4 ай бұрын
he teaches O.P.E.N Close open. get eye contact approach and start a conversation. premise. make it man to woman. evaluate. after you have established some value, evaluate something about her and use it as the reason she is special. narrative. set up the story she is going to tell her friends about how you met and making sure she can rationalise it as a win for herself. close. seed the close, qualify her on it and lead her to whatever close you are going for. that is the basic model of the main points you want to keep an eye on. obviously, you want to include some teasing and push pull early to build your value and some leading and qualifying to move her around and build rapport plus you really need to remember to check her logistics, so you know what close you are going for, but the model does let you know what stage you are at
@georgeceasar5019
4 ай бұрын
Hey Todd, did you make any video about mistakes men do on first dates? I meet women online and when we meet first time they loose their interest.
@JonathanBanales
4 ай бұрын
I'm a man with two sisters and two nieces, and I think it's safe to say, or at least I hope it's safe to say, that most men don't want to lead girls on and then break their hearts knowing that they're just after sex. So how can I actually use honesty in a way that lets the girl know that I am only interested in a hookup, but that I also genuinely enjoy her company and would like to keep taking her out, showing her a good time and end the night with sex without her getting attached or too emotionally attached? I want her to know from the very start of our first interaction that I have zero interest in a typical relationship.
@gfunkin2
4 ай бұрын
Eh false nice guy premise and rooted in a guy who doesn't really have actual experience. The first step in actually having true success with women in a casual context, or any other, is to strip away the myth that the only way to sleep with women very quickly is to "fool" them. In reality, women are deeply sexual beings. You cannot fool the willing and women themselves, contrary to what you've been told or lead to believe, have many agendas when they date and aren't looking at every guy as a long term prospect. And as long as I'm clear in my intent with my ACTIONS (ie flirty, direct, and there's a good vibe), not the weirdly overt and unattractive ("hey, let's be clear about our intentions, complete stranger") you suggest, women who sleep with me early on know the score. Indeed, it's what they want. But really, your reply is like someone in 1432 saying the world is flat. It might be what most people think. It might be printed in every book and discussed at every party. But it isn't true. And the only way to disabuse yourself of such thinking is to actually go out into the sea yourself.
@PeterParkerwon
4 ай бұрын
how do you interrupt a group thats speaking to each other deep into conversation. Or other awkward scenarios like a girl thats already talking to a dude or a girl with her back turned towards you cuz shes sitting at the bar talking to her friend?
@chickenshit8213
4 ай бұрын
It's pretty incredible how much better I do on my own than I do with friends. When you're by yourself, you're forced to actually get off your ass and do shit versus wait for the group. Solo is a far better way to go once you get good at it
@nicholasingratta423
4 ай бұрын
Kinda doing that tonight
@moneyinyourpockets
4 ай бұрын
Sometimes i say im from out of town, in case the girl thinks its wierd being by myself...i pick out the town etc ahead of time
@BerryBerton-nk5cp
4 ай бұрын
How can I get an advanced pulling masterclass?
@NoOne-vc7ct
4 ай бұрын
I have a bizarre and interesting question/issue: My perception of things seems to be off. The way I perceive and interpret things is always wrong, and thus the way I react to things end up being more wrong. Everything I say and do in social situations is just off and wrong. I don't know how this happens, I don't know what I'm doing or not doing. It's been this way my whole life. I always just seem to get people mad at me and I have no idea why. So I just shrink up into myself and say nothing and do nothing because I'd rather just be the quiet guy instead of the guy everyone hates. Until this is resolved, I can't even begin to consider approaching girls or trying to make friends. Literally no one has any sort of video or program or anything to address this sort of thing. That makes me feel like even more of a weirdo, because I'm apparently the only one in the world who has this problem. If anyone's seen this sort of thing before and helped someone, it's you, because you'd probably seen it all. WTF is wrong with me and what is the solution, if any solution exists?
@CoachSteveJandS
4 ай бұрын
I would suggest asking a follow up question if you are unsure. Example " when you said X,Y,Z(repeat back to them) , what did you mean??" It might help to determine the intentions better behind what could be misunderstood...
@damirderek8827
4 ай бұрын
Once I went alone to group of girls and stood behind one curly hot girl and she was running away from me. Her hot friend came to me and said to me to fck off from them and I ignored her and continued to be idiot 😂 with curly one. Her friend almost pushed me away and I kissed her in cheek and she was pissed off. Next week in another club she came to me with her another friend and said to her that I am cool guy and she also liked me after. 😂
@supermiller1987
2 ай бұрын
36 year old and recently divorced... Here's my 2 cent lol Aprroaching can be the goal, but other than that free yourself from any other outcome. As soon as you hop out the car, start chatting up people... Women and men. That means people in the parking lot, people in line, the bouncers, the bar tenders. Some will be receptive, some won't. For the ones who are receptive and you actually vibe with those people, that can be your home base. From there go approach whenever you see fit and free yourself from the outcome. Walk through the open doors rhat make sense and you'll have a hell of a time...
@pahyzhahyz9634
4 ай бұрын
How do you get women way out of your league. I feel like I always end up limited to at or below.
@Blazervitch
4 ай бұрын
the fact you see them as out of your league is the problem, they are like any other girl.
@firstnamelastname7299
4 ай бұрын
Inevitably though, she will ask something to the effect of "so who are you here with?". How do you answer this? Lying is obviously risky and wrong, but saying "No one" or "I'm here alone" would creep a lot of girls out, I imagine. To be fair I don't know, I've never gone out alone.
@supernotnatural
4 ай бұрын
You'renot Taylor Kelce or Taylor Swift, no one is going to care you are alone or not. Unless you are top famous person. Even then, Keanu Reeves style you can be
@andycx2
4 ай бұрын
They don't let single guys on their own into clubs or club like bars here in the UK in a lot of places nowadays. Things have become so P.C they automatically assume your a creep or a predator if you go out on your own. I have been knocked back by the door staff several times in my own over the last couple of years.
@Hegemon1984
4 ай бұрын
Damn, is it REALLY like that in the UK? No one gives a fuck in the US
@andycx2
4 ай бұрын
@Hegemon1984 it is with a lot of the trendy clubs and bars. It'd like that in Glasgow of all places. Dam near impossible to get into a club on your own as a single guy.
@Hegemon1984
4 ай бұрын
@@andycx2 Thanks for the tip, brother. I'm an American trying to get a tech job in Europe. Currently have a final interview for a company in the Netherlands, but the UK was definitely on one of my top 5s. If what you say is true, I'll be looking to more mainland European countries to find a tech job.
@PeterParkerwon
4 ай бұрын
@@andycx2probably doesnt help that there are some uncalibrated weird UK pua guys that ruined things over there
@andycx2
4 ай бұрын
@PeterParkerwon PUA is a big no no nowadays. You would likely be arrested here in Scotland if they found out what your were actually up to. Especially day game.
@aaronjohnstone2800
4 ай бұрын
Gold dust
@ThatMexicanGuyLuis
4 ай бұрын
If you from the DFW area comment below 👇
@ThePCForever
17 күн бұрын
If you go out with a woman, isn't it easy for other women at the bar to mistake the two of you for a couple? And wouldn't this make game harder since they might assume you're trying to cheat?
@SerzanAysu
4 ай бұрын
First. Ask me out
@Starsteam1
4 ай бұрын
You in the Uk?
@pahyzhahyz9634
4 ай бұрын
@@Starsteam1 it’s a bot dude
@stevenwilson4083
4 ай бұрын
what todd didn’t answer: what do you say when girls ask, “where ate your friends?” or “are you here by urself?”…if you don’t ace this question, it’s over
@blayiks
2 ай бұрын
Just own it as if it's a normal thing to do. I usually say "wanted to me new people by myseld". Girls usually say "wow that's courageous". It's all about how you frame it
@alanmlkbanda
2 ай бұрын
That’s cap,I went out solo once or twice and gave up because I could literally see how embarrassing it was to be there alone. Anyone that notices you’re there alone sees you as a creep. Because why would you be there alone ? One explanation is you’re a creep with no friends so you have no one to join you there. If you’re out there alone and the girl you want to approach is with her friends you’re immediately burnt because their friends will chatter and reinforce their collective view of a creep. To do this you must be a pro at game because you’re gonna succeed on your first or second interaction and you’re not gonna be moving around from one failure to another in the same place in the same night exposing yourself to the people there who might be regulars who will cringe at the sight of your presence alone all the subsequent times. It’s those things he doesn’t tell you about here.
@manuelherk3236
2 ай бұрын
You got it wrong. You convey to other people exactly what you think of yourself. If you think you're a creep they'll do it too. If you think you're just an independent human out to have a good time, they'll admire you for that. I have gotten hundreds of compliments for going out alone. I was even told I was one of the bravest people they ever met
@swaggybaconcheese1566
4 ай бұрын
Damn this videos like 3 months too late for me lmao.
@Koettnylle
4 ай бұрын
Because you're in jail now
@swaggybaconcheese1566
4 ай бұрын
@@Koettnylle ??????
@tjjanesz998
4 ай бұрын
Anyone in columbus Ohio? Trying to game with people. Not afraid going by myself but still good to have boys with me so we can learn from each other
@niallcarney9178
4 ай бұрын
A 4 min video from Todd brings x10 more value than owen cooks 4 HOUR long video of his recent law of frequency/vibration of social ambiguity state transference BLAH BLAH BLAH crap
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