As is often the case, a fulfilling sexual relationship often is an issue of selection. The way to have one is to pick someone with a comparable libido, and who (ideally) has worked through his or her sexual baggage. However, even within these general recommendations, difficulties can develop. In this episode, I will discuss how to handle a woman who turns down a bid for sex. Just because her kitchen's closed doesn't mean that you have to go hungry. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzitem.info/rock/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #psychology
@LoveLightLiberty6868
Жыл бұрын
I suppose that is good advice if you are interested in a divorce. Perhaps figure out a way to get her in the mood. Don't misunderstand. Women should not deny sex to their husband's. However, there are ways to get what you want without cheating on your wife.
@whatupdun
Жыл бұрын
When a man maximizes his appeal with a great physique, strong frame, and knows what he's doing in bed, negotiating the frequency of sex becomes a non issue. This requires substantial investment, but is a transcendent path as compared to most folks' experience. IOW, build yourself into a man who inspires genuine *lust*, and you'll have (earned) exactly what you want.
@LoveLightLiberty6868
Жыл бұрын
@Aaron Hope there are so many little things that average looking men can do to get sex from their woman. Every single person is unique, so a man will need some communication skills, observation, or trial and error to figure out what works on their special person. Keep in mind that a variety of tactics may be needed for different circumstances. For instance, there are some women who need non-sexual affection before they are ready to unwind. Or they man need some sort of physical stimulation in areas not normally considered sexual. I don't know how common this is, but my sternum bone has some crazy nerve connections. One of my exes had a trigger point on the back of his knee. Try some acupressure techniques in unusual places. And don't forget that women are emotional creatures who don't always know how to express their feelings positive. Women tend to be passive-aggressive and may withhold sex as punishment. It's worth a shot asking her what's wrong. And when she says "nothing" or "you know," remind her that you aren't psychic and need to know to resolve the problem. Good luck fellas.....
@YouilAushana
Жыл бұрын
Yo, Dr. O! As a born again Christian man, who is based in understanding marriage is out of the question. What should I do?
@JA-qk8gt
11 ай бұрын
Wow. How about therapy? At least your position seems to be clear, that sex is more valuable than relationship and men should seek to get their needs met at the expense of women, any woman (?or prostitute) will do. Wonder if this perspective will hold steady over the next 10-15 years as life happens... Misogny and the patriarchy are alive and well!!
@thehappywifeschool
Жыл бұрын
Great video and analogies. As women, we can make a simple choice to be in the mood if we want - I teach this to women. We play a game of control and manipulation to punish men by depriving sex. Unfortunately, we deprive ourselves too, because we enjoy sex if we let ourselves. Even if I am not in the mood, I can choose to have sex out of kindness and appreciation for my husband and marriage - not to mention the enjoyment and benefit for myself.
@QED_
Жыл бұрын
The video and analogies would be even better . . . if they included a deeper understanding of what sex is actually all about. Food-hunger, for example, provides bodily nutrition. What does sex-hunger provide (?) If one doesn't know the answer to that (explicitly or implicitly), then confusion is inevitable . . .
@lifter1000
Жыл бұрын
@@QED_ Satisfaction from the partners pleasure
@QED_
Жыл бұрын
@@lifter1000 That's just a specific subset of the more profound altered state of awareness that potentially accompanies sexual arousal . . .
@lifter1000
Жыл бұрын
It's happening if the woman's libido is weaker that's the man. but if they both have high libido than she is always horny and unable to resist. in any case I can easily foreplaying up her mood. BTW I'm looking for a young woman with ultra strong Instinct/Libido and extremely promiscuous record, have an idea?
@QED_
Жыл бұрын
@@GeeBeanie I made the change . . .
@bigspence6898
Жыл бұрын
I like this guy. Speaks the truth unapologetically
@Flokoli1
Жыл бұрын
Kinda refreshing to see redpill psychologists
@sethbrolsma516
Жыл бұрын
This makes a ridiculous amount of sense.
@EvaVas03
Жыл бұрын
💯
@pwh5805
Жыл бұрын
Good. Can men now stop complaining about a lack of sex? Thanks.
@user-dj4fd5vc6c
Жыл бұрын
@@pwh5805 Gladly. Lots of restaurants are open past 8:00.
@pwh5805
Жыл бұрын
@@user-dj4fd5vc6c 👍
@craiggoodwill7620
7 ай бұрын
Most of his videos do.
@vryc
Жыл бұрын
Yup. Agree. Been married 24 years and the frequency of sex on a weekly basis hasn't changed. I like 4-5x per week, she likes 3-4x per week. Compromise was reached long ago. And we regularly head out to late night diners on spur-of-the-moment dates.
@Macheako
Жыл бұрын
God bless y’all 😂❤ that’s exactly how it should be
@Demour77
Жыл бұрын
Well done on maintaining your 'frame' Vryc, it sounds like you and your partner are well matched!
@Alisha0413
Жыл бұрын
Can I ask how your dynamic works, is she a stay at home mother?
@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.
Жыл бұрын
You compromised with your breedress? Brother, you've mistaken that walking uterus life support system, maid, cook, and governess for your equal...like one of the bros, or something. Glad things seem to be working for you but, I have a simpler approach. _"Either we're having sex or I'm having sex."_
@eladbari
Жыл бұрын
How d'you guys keep attraction after 24 years? How is it not the same old thing?
@dr.jenniferma3914
Жыл бұрын
It's generally not a good policy to become rejecting of your partner. It's always an issue of "how long will this last" once sex becomes rare or changes from flowing to complicated. I think both women and men realize this. Rejecting isn't good. I know I won't reject a man I'm in love with as a general rule, not that it would even cross my mind. If your partner is rejecting as a pattern I agree: Don't let it slide without conversation. Confront the issue head on.
@axl1002
Жыл бұрын
You can't talk your way out of woman losing her attraction because of your sexual dependency on her, she will see it as begging which is even more unattractive. The only way to restore it is to make her compete for your attention.
@Bucephalus84
Жыл бұрын
@axl100 your still playing games though. Wouldn't it be better to have an agreement early on that nobody is refused? It has worked for 12 years in my relationship.
@axl1002
Жыл бұрын
@@Bucephalus84 Agreements work when they are enforced. But here you come and claim that your wife gets wet every time because of an agreement?
@nalianalianalia
Жыл бұрын
The issue is however that men do not want to speak in case of why they want to reject a woman and don't want to have sex with her. Maybe this is because this is too intimate for them to speak why they reject a woman, maybe because they are manipulative and want to gaslight a woman, maybe because their culture forces them to act like a stallion and if they don't want sex, they cannot understand themselves why they don't want it. But the issue is, they don't want to speak about it. Actually, I know only one close example, that a man didn't want to have sex with me (this is my husband), but nevertheless, let me know other men who do such things.
@Bucephalus84
Жыл бұрын
@N K men lose their want for intimacy and sex when the woman becomes invalidating and immasculating. Believe it or not, we are creatures with feelings as well.
@markanthony2495
Жыл бұрын
Oh man this is great. I've never seen someone admit that this is a problem before. They'll say that Religion, Finances, Socio Economic Status, and Personality Traits matter, but everyone's afraid to admit that Sexual Mismatch blows relationships up.
@joseph6243
Жыл бұрын
Because most people would rather look PC than keep it real.
@GGWP-nx3kn
Жыл бұрын
It‘s always about smashing. Otherwise, there’s no relationship to begin with.
@Sarah-hw7ok
Жыл бұрын
Always a focus of mine on par with the other things you mention. Actually above religion unless they’re a highly practicing person and want to convert me.
@markanthony2495
Жыл бұрын
Mismatch took down 2 of my relationships in my 20's and 30's. I'm glad it happened though in hindsight, before things got too serious.
@caucasianafrican1435
Жыл бұрын
@@GGWP-nx3kn In that sense, the woman is the table.
@rollingtinfist
Жыл бұрын
This is the most honest and real world take on the subject I’ve heard. Too many people are in denial on this.
@ReigningFlame
Жыл бұрын
(referring to men in relationships or marriages) As a Christian husband, I get the frustration. The bottom line seems to be that men must continue to do their part while women can go off their feelings. If you falter, the relationship is over, but if she is in the wrong, the man is responsible for giving grace, patience, and understanding. It's unequal. No matter your belief system... as a man (especially average men), if you chose to be in a relationship, you're choosing to be "Christ" (read Ephesian 5: 21-33) i.e. the one to love, suffer, hold the responsibly and be willing to "die". If you can't see yourself giving time, money, or energy into a woman, stay single. Relationships are a beautiful and enriching thing if you chose the right person, but regardless, to hold the burden is always the tradeoff.
@Demour77
Жыл бұрын
Wonderful comment VESSEL, it's a hard truth the responsibility always comes down on the man - while the woman gets to dance around.
@Macheako
Жыл бұрын
What is SHE responsible for?
@ReigningFlame
Жыл бұрын
@@Macheako Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, Himself being the Savior of the body. - Ephesians 5: 22-23 It's her job to follow the husband's leadership and willingly comply without nagging her husband. The key word being "husband" though. Although women should show some signs of this in dating, as we show signs of being providers (i.e. dates) it's not required for men or women to do marital obligations outside of marriage according to scripture.
@ReigningFlame
Жыл бұрын
@@Demour77 noting is free, my friend. If you dance around now, you'll have to pay for it later. None of us can escape consequences, regardless if the society wants to soften the blows of life. Reality is the equalizer.
@ReigningFlame
Жыл бұрын
@@treeaddict no denying that. The consequences I refer to are those ones that life gives. Those none of us can escape. People have to live with the devils in their mind. Regardless of the societal perceptions and loopholes, there's always a price being paid. Even if we don't see it in public.
@dekev7503
Жыл бұрын
One of the biggest mistakes that a man can make in a relationship is to allow his woman to believe that she's irreplaceable. If she knows that she's your only option, she'll treat you however she deems fit because she knows that there are no repercussions for her transgressions. If you make It abundantly clear that she's not special, she will go the extra mile to gain and secure her spot in your life.
@audiosystemb8448
Жыл бұрын
This.
@lorrilewis2178
Жыл бұрын
You couldn't be more wrong.
@dekev7503
Жыл бұрын
@Gohann I agree with you 💯 . What I meant in my comment was that you should always make her feel the need to compete for your affection by making yourself as attractive as possible, not necessarily telling her outright that she's replaceable.
@srikrishnavasanth3895
Жыл бұрын
No, Just tell her I Love you at the sametime don't tolerate her b.s. Handling disrespect is the key. Just be who you are when disrespected don't think how she can just roast her with jokes immediately or confront her.
@jrtama5
11 ай бұрын
True, experience.
@jgarza03
Жыл бұрын
I love told a woman that refused to open up sexually, that I didn’t feel like opening up emotionally. Something has got to give.
@melissalee5679
Жыл бұрын
And vice versa. Too bad he is usually the first one to withhold from her, then she reciprocates. Unfortunately the woman is the one that is usually required to give before she gets which puts her in a losing battle.
@thecurrentmoment
Жыл бұрын
Isn't it a shame that life isn't fair
@melissalee5679
Жыл бұрын
@@thecurrentmoment Not really a shame. Just life. I was just providing the other perspective. It's all give and take and about understanding each other's needs and wants and the willingness to put your own aside for the sake of harmony. But it has to be coming from both partners, not just from one.
@thecurrentmoment
Жыл бұрын
@@melissalee5679 agreed. I don't know that the woman is usually the one giving before she gets, from what I've seen and heard, it seems that it the one who is most interested is the one who gives first, whether it is the man or woman. Probably from chasing people out of your league
@kodeh7931
4 ай бұрын
You haven’t run into an avoidant dismissive woman yet. They don’t give emotionally or sexually
@stevemamooshka3425
Жыл бұрын
Some of the best metaphors I have ever heard have been from your videos!
@marcin2053
Жыл бұрын
Me too. I love metaphors and he is using them like a pro.
@oneperson1461
Жыл бұрын
Great points except this kind of assumes the guy is in the wrong by showing up at the wrong time. When the times are not posted and kept secret. Also its very hard to eat out in a committed relationship. I guess establishing time hours of operation in the beginning of the relationship is key and stick to them.
@Camperlife4ever
Жыл бұрын
This is a great breakdown on this topic. Some guys especially young and horny guys will take it too far early in a relationship, it gives justification of less than ideal behavior with a woman you are in a relationship with. I hope some guys use a rejection as motivation to do better, work harder at various aspects of your life. My wife and I have dealt with a lot of issues around this, we are getting closer to an equilibrium for us. But it does involve a lot of discussions together and reflections individually.
@dmichaelgiles
7 ай бұрын
I think an important caveat is when women are going through menopause. I would love to hear your thoughts on men navigating relationships with their when their wives are going through menopause.
@reneethorn145
5 ай бұрын
Thank you x
@reneethorn145
5 ай бұрын
Thank you x
@susandavis903
4 ай бұрын
Absolutely. Sex after menopause is PAINFUL. After taking one for the team multiple times my hubby has chosen to eat at another diner ….with my blessing
@markminister2599
Жыл бұрын
Love the topic. If you you go to another restaurant No problem. If you go to another woman the Judge ruins your life.
@tarablue4472
5 ай бұрын
So will STI's. Just get her in the mood and sharpen your love making skills.
@susandavis903
4 ай бұрын
Get permission first. Open marriages can work with excellent communication
@ralphwallen6907
Жыл бұрын
Great advice.....for single men. Unfortunately wedding cake kills the female libido faster than any known substance. To put that in the context of your metaphor, the wife has a monopoly on dining which changes the equation considerably. So, I think the first part of your video is really the key here. Find someone with a similar sex drive. For that matter, find someone with similar fetishes, or at least someone who is open minded sexually. Orion, I would love a video on how to handle prudish sexual partners, particularly those who have become puritan post nuptial. To be fair, children, work, life need to be taken into account in our theoretical restaurant closing. I don't think any guy can really expect to get served if he shows up frequently after 8, regardless of how good a customer he is.
@slimbandicoot8990
Жыл бұрын
Use your creativity. If your wife is consistently withholding sexual intimacy, as the man, you can express your concerns, and if and when they're not met, you can start to withhold emotional intimacy. You can also begin to disengage and act distant. Once she starts to feel isolated and rejected, she will bring up the fact she doesn't feel seen and her needs aren't being met. At this point, you can explain to her the same way your actions made her feel undesired; her actions make you feel undesired and open the sex dialogue back up. Making someone feel the way you feel is the simplist way to force empathy. Most people have to experience your feelings to understand how you feel, and since women seldomly are rejected, they don't know how rejection makes the people they love feel. It's not petty if the end outcome is to have more peace and harmony in your relationship.
@pwh5805
Жыл бұрын
@@slimbandicoot8990 What if you don’t really want to be emotionally intimate with your wife but still desire sex?
@steveross4151
Жыл бұрын
Yeah thats because she got her needs met (security) which then leads to her ignoring yours over time. Marriage kills competition anxiety in women but they NEED that in order to keep trying their best. After you sign that devil contract all the good stuff disappears:)
@bobyeah7334
Жыл бұрын
Mate wrong!! Stay fit stay in shape stay sexy. Most men are lazy out of shape and overweight after marriage. Stop watching TV 📺 , stop drinking beers 🍻 get a 6 pack. And watch how you’re wife treats you. FIT , IN SHAPE , SEXY. Easy no women can resist.
@cturdo
Жыл бұрын
Yeah and you get to start over and lose half your stuff.@@slimbandicoot8990
@hopeinhumanity.
10 ай бұрын
I’d say that it’s not always the case for women that “having sex when you’re not in the mood is kinda like eating when you’re not hungry” and could add a different dining analogy such as “going to a restaurant to eat and you’re not served your dinner because they forgot to put in the order but your dining companion’s order was served and you leave the restaurant with no food while your dining partner ate and is satisfied with his meal”.
@tarablue4472
5 ай бұрын
Yours is a much better analogy. I would be pissed if I wasn't satisfied. I got another analogy. Going to a restaurant, made to work in the kitchen, your dining companion eats a satisfying meal while you go home hungry, exhausted and used.
@brianclark4040
Жыл бұрын
It seems that the technique of saying up front that you are going to get your needs met elsewhere will self select a female partner with a similar libido. How many women would get involved with a dude if she knew he was going to other women to get satisfied? Eventually she will see herself out and he will choose other candidates.
@tarablue4472
5 ай бұрын
Ok, I can see that. I've lived with a partner with a HUGE sex drive, multiple times per day, everyday, no compromise. It ruined the relationship. My sex drive is only 5x/week. I got out of that hell hole. Good thing I did because I found a better man with an EXACT libido match. So it's not like I was depriving my first mate when my second mate is satisfied with what he was getting. Sexual compatibility is very important to me, both in the activities and frequency. Where the doc took me aback is when he suggested that he'll go elsewhere if he doesn't get sex just this one time. Thus risking bringing STI's into the relationship.
@matthewnorris203
5 ай бұрын
This is a calm, logical, rational, masculine and SAVAGE way to approach sex in a relationship. I love it :)
@eliztaylore
Жыл бұрын
I’m really enjoying binging all your content 🙌 it’s all so helpful!! I’d love to hear your perspective on covert narcissism if you haven’t already covered that.
@290revolver290
Жыл бұрын
Doc is really good at this "game" 💯. His analogies is so relatable. Wow!
@TheActionBot
Жыл бұрын
Strong metaphor game. Lost me in the first half with the implication it’s a “ludicrous” to expect to be fed but, the additional layer of the metaphor makes it brilliant. We’ll done, doc.
@ahrimusifosil9207
Жыл бұрын
One of the best explanaitions i have ever heared. Fit 100 % with my experiance but i was never able to put this in words. Now i know, what maybe the problem was/is. And that is depressing.
@doug8718
9 ай бұрын
The "kitchen is closed" is not a good analogy. If people are that black-and-white in their thinking, their lives will be very disappointing. The kitchen should very rarely be closed. If the cook is not feeling well, then tomorrow could be a very good option, perhaps better, because the cook can plan a much more intimate menu for tomorrow. If however, the cook just doesn't seem to want to cook much as a whole, or if the meals are boring, this is a big problem. On the other hand, if the hungry person is too demanding, spoiled, inconsiderate, it's little wonder that the cook doesn't feel in the mood to cook.
@elainer8288
9 ай бұрын
I agree.
@Susan-fg3nv
2 ай бұрын
These men who do not get sex often think that if women had more sex we would get the world offered to us on a gold plate. While the women having sex with men can see that's not true. Men get sex and continue to treat us how they want. No change
@Jan-qv8ku
9 ай бұрын
Can you do some videos about monogamous relationships please? What are the best ways to manage a monogamous relationship? What are reasonable expectations?
@Bluesmoke4200
8 ай бұрын
All of the guys cheering on the diner analogy would go absolutely bonkers if a woman did the same on a night *they* didn't want sex.
@_6-6_
Жыл бұрын
I think this is just more proof I shouldn’t get married I really hate that I have a sex drive
@M0viLover
Жыл бұрын
I've never been married. *But* - MOST of the w0men I've been intimate with have had at least the same sex drive I've had, if not even higher. So, correct - *do NOT get marrie*d. But, having a long term relationship *can* work out.
@sammyb1651
Жыл бұрын
@@M0viLover Lol. MOST people have a roughly similar sex drive if your experience of women is a sequence of short to mid term relationships. They virtually ALL start off with both people wanting to bang like a barn door. LTR's/marriage is a wholesale different scenario.
@M0viLover
Жыл бұрын
@@sammyb1651 I've had ONE long term relationship. Something like Feb 2002 thru July 2009. *But,* with at least two breakups over that time. One 2-3 months, the other at least 3 months. The sex drive was comparable, throughout. Including some rainy weekends where we had sex 4x in a day.
@sammyb1651
Жыл бұрын
@@M0viLover Yeah, I'm not sure that counts tbh. A 7 year relationship where you broke up 3x total. It sounds like your experience is a succession of short to mids, generally. Just being real.
@davidkalman5691
Жыл бұрын
OMG, you are the man. I know it doesn't work that easily, but wow, "thanks, I'll go find someone who's open for business". I see how that underlying drive would eat away at a relationship
@rebeccagreen7241
7 ай бұрын
How is this good advice? "You'll f*uck me when I feel like it or you'll suffer the consequences?" What kind of women would even want a man like that? It's disgusting.
@Susan-fg3nv
2 ай бұрын
It would. When he discovers women are human his mind is going to be blown
@Highintensityhealth
7 ай бұрын
This is one of your best videos! Thank you so much.
@matt-g-recovers
Жыл бұрын
The weird part is I was married to a girl who was absolutely driven by sex. Then I ended up in a medical position in which my testosterone was extremely low for years and I rarely wanted sex. My sex drive was completely gone... So I can kind of understand from the other side of it what that's like when somebody wants it. It's somebody You care about and you don't want to disappoint but you physiologically cannot help them... That 12-year marriage is no longer a thing. She ended up cheating on me. Obviously I discovered the testosterone problem and have since gotten fixed. What sucks. Now is if what you're saying is true. Most likely I'm going to end up on the other end of this thing... Unless I can find somebody that wants as much as I do and that I can trust at this point. Which that's going to be difficult. I wish things didn't have to be so damn complicated.
@willek1335
9 ай бұрын
What issue was it, and how did you fix it?
@matt-g-recovers
9 ай бұрын
@@willek1335 was medication related and unfortunately the only fixing is to inject testosterone into my leg every week. Changed my world. This is the question you had?
@Steph_1215
6 ай бұрын
I am laughing with tears! The metaphor is so funny, but so true!
@adamschwartz4221
Жыл бұрын
This is the attitude all men need to adopt.
@pedro.pe916
Жыл бұрын
I generally agree with you. I'm not sure if I could appreciate my partner having sex just to satisfy me. That's why it is necessary to find a roughly equal libido level partner, as you say. But I also think that when feelings are well developed, if one of the two is "hungry", he/she could make the other feel "hungry" too... I'm the type of guy that can easily get turned on if she pushes the right buttons even when I don't feel the drive. Can a woman be the same? Like get in the right mood just by letting herself be driven?...
@canelareina3795
9 ай бұрын
Yes
@elainer8288
9 ай бұрын
I think so. It is better to try that than threatening to cheat or any kind of agressive and selfish behavior.
@miesanderson3408
Ай бұрын
Female here 1. mismatched libidos and having a fulfilling sexual relationship. This is an excellent point “find someone interested in having sex more or less the same amount and you…. no amount of therapy will fix this.” 2. Drive vs mood. If you’re compatible sexually hes likely able to get you in “the mood”. Men can also learn to be amazing lovers….. seduction is an art form.
@aaronlang2764
Жыл бұрын
Excellent analogy
@jarichards99utube
Жыл бұрын
IMPLICIT Communications... A Great Point
@maxhung69
3 ай бұрын
difference with the restaurant analogy is that you should be the only customer. serving random customers doesn't make a good girlfriend nor wife material...probably need a more appropriate analogy but the message is still clear
@kevohmistari
8 ай бұрын
Bro, you're a true beast of analogies 😂💪
@West3720
Жыл бұрын
Orion, What if the restaurant you want to eat at won't agree to serve you unless you sign a contract to agree to eat at that specific restaurant anytime you are hungry for the rest of your life. 😅
@GreatRetro
Жыл бұрын
NEVER sign that deal!!!
@MB-kv3vw
Жыл бұрын
Theres always Uber eats
@jbug308
Жыл бұрын
@@MB-kv3vw 😂😂😂
@psychacks
Жыл бұрын
Imagine if that was how other businesses operated. Check out "Exclusivity is expensive".
@Ace.0.0.0.
Жыл бұрын
For sex, females want to be a monopoly. If guys have a lesser sex drive than their women, it might work. It also might work if she was the only woman around to offer sex. However, I think Dr. Taraban calls it right when he says if monopolists have a regular paying customer, it's best to be nice to him, and cut him some slack even if the kitchen has just closed. But asking your woman to reopen the kitchen in the middle of the night is not right.
@Macheako
Жыл бұрын
If a husband stopped having sex with his wife…would ANYONE tell her to STAY in that marriage? Hint: The answer is a resounding *No* 😂 people would be telling her to LEAVE ❤
@melissalee5679
Жыл бұрын
Unfortunately this is not True. She is usually told she made a vow and has to deal with it. And then she is made to feel guilty for even thinking about it.
@melissalee5679
Жыл бұрын
@@jerryjessup9192 Ummmm. The question was "Would ANYONE tell her to stay?" The answer states "a resounding NO, They would tell her to leave" So, I replied to that. That is not true. It doesn't matter if some tell her to go, some others will tell her to stay, that she made a vow, for better or for worse. Then make her feel guilty for it. Don't tell me, I'm living it.
@melissalee5679
Жыл бұрын
@@treeaddict I do. It's a 2 way street. I have even told my own husband to step out and see if it helps. I bring up, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just not 'doing it for him' anymore if ya know what I mean. He says it's not, but I reply how do you know if you don't try? But he also knows my stance. I love him enough to let him get his needs met elsewhere if it comes down to it, but he has to be just as understanding if it ever comes down to it being reversed.
@TheNinjapancake14
Жыл бұрын
Idk any woman who would tell another to leave their husband for a reason like that 😭 The first step is communication.
@pwh5805
Жыл бұрын
@@TheNinjapancake14 Of course the first step is communication but if nothing works leaving your husband is a very good option.
@TheNinjapancake14
Жыл бұрын
This video is for guys who want casual sex or fwb, not a relationship
@fromgermany271
Жыл бұрын
I had such a situation with my ex, but with reversed roles. As she thought „dead bedroom“ is a good punishment, she had to go to other dinners to fulfill her needs. At least the second part was her excuse for cheating, leaving out that she also created that cause. Is it really that hard to „pay“ for being fully taken care for, by being pleasured?
@Neulandmama
3 ай бұрын
Somehow I get the feeling he in fact didn't consider the possibility it could be the other way around. If a man said to his spouse: "I'm so tired, I'm not in the mood" or he simply can't bring it anymore (maybe only temporary), most probably the advise would not be for the woman to "take her business elsewhere". Women generally are way more used to not having their sexual needs met by a partner. Just getting up to temperature and then beeing cut short, not just every now and then but on the regular, could also be a reason why a woman turns down an offer. It just might not be worth it
@mjaybee
9 ай бұрын
Game changer: menopause
@sanekabc
Жыл бұрын
AGAIN, you left out a VERY Important piece of advice to men: How to improve their ability to get women in the mood.
@freeman8759
5 ай бұрын
Easy, he needs to create an unspoken sense of urgency around his presence and abilities. If hes useless and or always around why should she bother. This pattern is real
@csmith9699
3 ай бұрын
@@freeman8759Um...actually it depends to enormous degree on how savvy a lover the man is. Few women can say no to a truly good lover. Men would solve a lot of their problems if they'd figure this out. Truly good lovers are few and far between...they are treasures. They do not have to be in the top 1% of men. In fact the top 1% of men might make up the worst lovers of all. They tend to be entitled and also too busy with work, etc. They can be bland too. Thus channel is missing a huge piece of the puzzle when ignoring the importance of men learning to be really great lovers
@jameshisself9324
8 ай бұрын
Ok serious question. This is a great idea and all, but how does one prevent her from doing what she has perceived you have done just to be vindictive? We hear about female optionality all the time on this channel. I get that if she does that it is better to find out then, etc etc and I do not find myself in this situation, but I would be really curious to see how this is supposed to play out.
@camionvert
28 күн бұрын
Well a closet analogy would be a buffet restaurant. It is one minute past closing but the buffet is still there. There is nothing for the restaurant to prepare especially for you. You could just help yourself. There was a time, before womens entitlement, when it actually worked that way, without all these petty negotiations. I am pretty sure both men and women were happier.
@hotlucky5622
Жыл бұрын
Doc, you're trying to reason with women. It never worked in like ever. All men can do is keep it moving..
@realist1641
8 ай бұрын
Facts. But this could be aimed at men trying to negotiate with women who play these games.
@Sovica1511
Жыл бұрын
To me it is kind of sad we are compairing love with a business. This is unfortunately too simplified to take really seriously. And it only makes sense in a bubble.
@laineyw2019
Жыл бұрын
Beautiful comment.
@rosiemackenzie5976
Жыл бұрын
It is a great analogy! Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
@erikn54
Жыл бұрын
You dont have to be in the mood to have sex. A woman I met had learned to look at sex like any other thing people make for each other in a relationship. She said all people should just ask their partner to do this or that for them sexually, just like asking for help with changing tires on the car or anything else. I think one of the problems is that I believe that I have to fulfill my gfs needs the same ways she fulfills mine. Get her of, then she gets me of… If I let go of the shame of just asking her to make me a sexual favour, she might actually enjoy it more. It takes her a few minutes to get me of and then she can get on with her life. I dont need to be really comtted to fill the dish washer, I just do it.
@marguskiis7711
9 ай бұрын
Haha, try to ask women for sex. It will end with disaster soon.
@marguskiis7711
9 ай бұрын
You looks really hopeless in bed. Poor woman...
@tracyraven7444
Жыл бұрын
Yes this is very true but personally I think the most important part for me is a crazy attraction to my partner, two people can have the same drive but different attraction to each other. So like I said for me personally I'm very very attracted to my boyfriend and he is to me and it's firework's every time, ladies.... If you don't want sex with him he's the wrong man 😍😍
@OneAwareness1
Жыл бұрын
😂 you forgot the part where if the man is competent then he can change her mood into a sexual one.
@VaronPlateando
Жыл бұрын
… whereas I truly appreciate your take on the issue, in view of the general improbability of positive intimacy (aside from some professional services, maybe) that matter does register as primarily theoretical | academic one. restaurants | eating out would seem to be severily overrated, bluntly put. as none of their offerings are indispensable.
@Tony_Calvert
Жыл бұрын
So what do you do if you are already married and you don’t have the option to “take your business elsewhere “?
@rell4219
Жыл бұрын
Subliminally threaten to take your business elsewhere by investing in yourself to raise your Sexual Market Value for example working out more and specifically during the times you use to have sex without even giving her the option. Saving money you used to spend on her Buy A new car and/or prostitutes behind her back if working out is too hard or not enough. When she notices, she’s confront you and that’s your chance to Lay down the Law!Brainstorm ideas for both of your needs to be met or inform her you’ll leave. There’s A chance she won’t be receptive or become sneaky ( cheating on you or assessing other options ) and at that point, it’s time for A divorce. She’s decided that taking accountability and/or working to solve things isn’t worth it to her. Shes already planning to “Money Branch” to one of many suitors and probably anticipates A new partner before the divorce is even finalized so she won’t be lonely.
@akam9919
Жыл бұрын
If you are married, denying sex threatens everything. Don't care how controversial this may or may not be to some, but saying no for reasons outside of health or having recently faced extreme emotional trauma (i.e. the cat died) is evil and perhaps the most wierdly perverse of sexual immoral things to do. Sex is a RIGHT in marriage, not a gift. If she says no, SHE should sleep on the couch. The reason you are even together is probably because you found each other physically attractive at the beginning. As such, saying no, is form of false advertising. Personally, I would almost say that this should be considered a sue-able offense if it wasn't for the fact I don't like gov getting anywhere near regulating the household and the relationships within it...though, I do believe this could be rational justification for divorce. I would also say that this is a good case for polygyny (with a cap; there's only so many women out there, and I definitely do not encourage pulling a solomon and having a 1000+ wives).
@davidthomspson9771
Жыл бұрын
This speaks volumes
@rachelh.5636
11 ай бұрын
Uh, no…I disagree with this position. Maybe the woman just had a hard day at work and she’s just plain tired and needs a rest. I feel it would indeed be entitled for her guy to just go out and get laid somewhere else. It’s like he can’t be told “no” sometimes. Somewhat childish behavior, if you ask me…
@denniswilliams7922
10 ай бұрын
Good luck with that in the future… unless u got a beta male lol keep dating betas… alphas or sigmas will never go for such foolery… respectfully
@denniswilliams7922
10 ай бұрын
I mean… IF HE IS PROVIDING FOR YOU (a big if by the way) then what’s the problem? What if he’s tired and need a rest from providing and giving you money and affection? Just say that then and it will be fair game 😂😂😂
@rebeccagreen7241
7 ай бұрын
Exactly. Women are people, too. It's surprising how many men genuinely do not seem to understand that.
@YouilAushana
Жыл бұрын
There are late kitchens but what is their food and health safety rating? *_EEEWWW!!!_*
@rebeccagreen7241
7 ай бұрын
Lol
@brownhat1290
Жыл бұрын
This is also a great argument for legalizing prostitution. Having options to safe sex with another woman whenever wifey is not "in the mood" will stop women from using sex as a bargaining tool in the relationship.
@sakuraesther6309
Жыл бұрын
That will also make her available for other men when you are out with the prostitute . Because there is always a better man than you and since you dont want a relationship with a prostitute , then it is fair game .
@jpbart1390
11 ай бұрын
I'm a man with a higher libido than most & obviously need a woman whose libido's like mine. My wife matches, thankfully.
@__just_a_girl
11 ай бұрын
Can you please do a video on “ How a woman should handle the situation when the man in the relationship starts rejecting her.” I’m sure your not going to say a woman can go eat at a different restaurant. Thank you
@denniswilliams7922
10 ай бұрын
It would be interesting to see what the proper, logically adult response would be…. If she is meeting ALL OF HIS DEMANDS then, she should not be rejected… she should be sexually satisfied in one way or the other IF she consistently is meeting his demands… otherwise I would say HE is a piece of sh*t. Would LOVE to hear the DOCTORS TAKE ON IT
@metal.gendalf
Жыл бұрын
This is a good time to remember what we all did, age 12-17 before other people became a part of our sexual experience 😅😂 If the restaurant bans you for eating elsewhere sometimes it's better on ocasion to cook a meal by yourself 😂😂 Sex is just one in multitude of needs. Don't hyperfocus. But don't let it slide either.
@ivithos2128
3 ай бұрын
Heh, I thought I did. When I met my wife I couldn't keep her off of me. Not long after marriage that all but ended. 17 years later as of June 2024 we've had sex 3 times this year. I realize now that I should have set boundaries early on. I've spent many years trying to reach ever changing goals and being told I was wrong for having the needs I have. I have now put her on notice that I will spend the rest of my life in a sexless marriage.
@LisaCulton
Жыл бұрын
Usually it's not that her sex drive is low in general, it's just low with *him* (for a myriad of reasons). Refusal shows dwindling or absent attraction.
@Leoo117
Жыл бұрын
Beautiful comment. He doesn't think about the reasoning behind a loss of attraction, because he only focuses on getting his own needs met. You just can't have a healthy relationship that way.
@carlospita6442
Жыл бұрын
Let me guess. His fault?
@carlospita6442
Жыл бұрын
@@Leoo117 STOP SIMPINGGG
@Leoo117
Жыл бұрын
@@carlospita6442 You think looking into the reasons for something is simping?
@LisaCulton
Жыл бұрын
@@Leoo117 So true.
@biondna7984
7 ай бұрын
No doubt it's not healthy for men to endure having their sex drive denied. What this "restaurant" analogy doesn't address is all the accompanying consequences that appear once he decides that everything else about the relationship is expendable for him, if she doesn't accommodate him every time but values their monogamy. There's also the challenge of changing health in a sustained sexual relationship: hormonal shifts, etc. I wonder why masturbation isn't mentioned as an option. I used it when the long hours my late husband worked left him too tired to share pleasure with me. We caught up when we could.
@arceejayevans
Жыл бұрын
What an analogy!
@williamandrews8273
Жыл бұрын
Dr T. I believe that you failed to mention that, the menu and the hours of the restaurant tend to “evolve” or change over time, and,in my experience, sometimes the restaurant closes unexpectedly for a period of time. Would you provide me with a strategy for “continuous “ or “frequent”negotiation or renegotiation of the previously agreed upon terms without it appearing to be overbearing for disliking the change of the previously mutual agreed terms of access to the restaurant menu. I guess that I am asking for a non confrontational path, if that exists. Thanks
@elainer8288
9 ай бұрын
Dr. Taraban has a really good video about that (for married man) in this channel. I also wrote a big comment on the video The Importance of Sex in a Relationship to which a lot of the few women that watch this channel agreed. I wrote it to help men with this particular question.
@user-xt5hv6un4x
Ай бұрын
Looks like I’m going to Wendy’s ha but if I have a favorite restaurant I usually know what’s the best time to go.
@mikepaulus4766
Жыл бұрын
I was involved with a woman who wanted sex more frequently than I did. At first, I was coming off a dry spell and things went well for weeks. Then, feeling that I had a check mark in the box of "sex when I want it" box, I could use my time in other ways. Sex was one day a week, and I would dodge her attempts to initiate.
@Ace.0.0.0.
Жыл бұрын
So how did you resolve your differences?
@Gumblethebear
Жыл бұрын
@@Ace.0.0.0. He "was involved"..... translation, no longer together.
@dr.jenniferma3914
Жыл бұрын
Wait one time a week was too much?
@M0viLover
Жыл бұрын
Once a week? Bwaaahaahaa! I'm sure she found a bull who was rocking her world *much* more often than that!
@TheNinjapancake14
Жыл бұрын
That’s ok, there’s someone for everyone, and I guess she wasn’t it
@reneethorn145
5 ай бұрын
This works both ways. I've been eating a lot of take-out recently! 😋
@monikasolymos2396
9 ай бұрын
Men love to hunt. They must be rejected sometimes, to keep the hunting and winning experience alive. They enjoy fighting for pleasure. If it is always easy, it is not good for them. This is why they get bored with easy women soon. And they feel the weakest, if they miss the harder one, for an easy one, it makes them feel low value at once. Big hunters can wait. Big hunters have power over themseves. Only poor ones rush.
@rickg7838
Ай бұрын
a great one
@jn3750
9 ай бұрын
Gosh damn right, Taraban.
@hesaysyestolife
10 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@fil4648
3 ай бұрын
How on earth do you select a partner with the same sex drive as you. The incompatibilities only show themselves in the long run. In the beginning both parties wanna have sex often.
@kentondragon9263
Жыл бұрын
So I don't know if this relevant, but Oprah once had a guest that said orgasm starts in the brain..so you gotta keep her brain always in the mood. 🤔🤷♂️
@JMPCARREPAIRS
Ай бұрын
OK so question say you have chosen a partner and they have the same libido but then after a year or so or after moving in or showing commitment, libido is gone to half or less , I have my ideas on it, but I'd love you're input plz..
@tab8803
Жыл бұрын
I'd like to hear you make a video about the topic sex before marriage since you seem to be religious.
@Susan-fg3nv
2 ай бұрын
He IS not!!!!!! He speaks wholly against godly principals.
@JackStewart-h1i
Жыл бұрын
Do you think you could make a short video or a tip on how to get your ex back? I know most frown upon the idea but it cant always be bad to do right?
@meetuchendu
Жыл бұрын
Trust me, it is always bad. You’ll never forget why it ended in the first place. It will always come up.
@ryanh9388
Жыл бұрын
The easiest way to get your ex back is to not want her back, if you do not care or want her back she cannot function. Generally it is frowned upon because she is your ex for a reason. Going back is never a good idea unless there are children involved and even that is a stretch. Do some deep soul searching and ask yourself why and what you miss. Chances are you will realize you do not want her back and save yourself a whole lot of pain down the road.
@annebomba
Жыл бұрын
First and most important step is to not need her back anymore. You might like it, but you don't need it. Once you achieve this state ask the question again.
@Tyk3l55
Жыл бұрын
Real question is “what do u really miss about her?” OUTSIDE OF SEX. If u aint got a long list then its not worth it.
@Tyk3l55
Жыл бұрын
@Gohann Yea honestly 9/10 times its never ends well going back to an ex. I’ve heard all the reasons why dudes go back and i just look at them like they crazy cuz it rarely ever ends well especially if they ended on bad terms.
@evelin2019
Жыл бұрын
I would want to have less sex drive... at least in a relationship, I could sleep with my partner every day.... now I don't mean sleeping together 3-4 times a day... but at least once a day.. I've been rejected by my partners in the past many times because he didn't feel like it... it really felt really bad every time they rejected me... that's why I understand men in this matter... but never and never I thought o sleep with someone else or to punish my partner because he maybe didn't feel like it a few times... so I don't agree with this episode... I have come to the conclusion that sex is definitely not everything in a relationship and I will probably find a partner who will have less sex drive than me.... PS... I found one... we got along great outside and in bed... same tempo, same desire... but after more than 6 months he was not ready for a relationship with me.. also for men it's not the most important thing.. Unfortunately you can't have everything... I'd rather have a partner with whom everything else fits and if we're not 100% sexually compatible... it's not a deal-breaker..
@timothygibney159
Жыл бұрын
Um you wouldn't happen to like nerdy guys with goatees who also who want such a quality in a partner who is a great listener 🤓
@mr.kakerudanielvl6496
5 ай бұрын
I don't win by merely punishing the other, but then; how do I win in the context of monogamy?
@ezkee4674
Жыл бұрын
I think a more appropriate analogy would be that the restaurant is closed and so the partner goes home and makes themselves a good meal . He decided it’s unreasonable for the restaurant to stay open late 5 times a week when he eats there 3 times a week and has an engaging and memorable meal, catered just for him. Besides, the chef is a personal best friends of his practically his entire life. Still I find this guy funny and he does make you think
@tripleseven8361
Жыл бұрын
Spoken like a woman!
@philipehusani
Жыл бұрын
Let me guess, you're a girl?
@ezkee4674
Жыл бұрын
@@treeaddict that made me laugh!
@modickens1272
Жыл бұрын
If there's no food in the fridge I'll be dining out.
@melissalee5679
Жыл бұрын
So will she! She'll have her desert and swallow it as well!
@martinmallet8638
Жыл бұрын
I think that as truthful as your words are. They are kind of disheartening.
@themancuniancandidate2744
Ай бұрын
8+ years in with my girl, and it's down to once a week; it has been so for a while. She's post menopausal, which may explain her drop in appetite, but I'm left wondering whether she's lost interest in sex generally, or just in having it with me. I am tall, very fit, confident, and I play guitar & sing in a band; I have no trouble attracting women. At a recent gig, a very attractive girl in her early 30s laid it on a plate, even inviting me back to hers. I said no, explaining that I'm in a relationship. Then when I got home, my girl was too tired for sex, and in the morning she had to take her daughter to sports. I'm really struggling to keep optimistic about the future; there's no way I'm spending the rest of my life hoping for my girl to throw me scraps of sex like some kind of half arsed reward. I love her and I definitely don't want to break up; but I also don't want to be held hostage to her low libido and excuses.
@jehriasean6379
Жыл бұрын
That was really well said.
@crystalnelson314
Жыл бұрын
If your partner doesn't want sex one night that's grounds to cheat? The audacity, lol... The social contracts are totally different in the analogy.
@timothygibney159
Жыл бұрын
That's not what he is saying. Most men do not have any sex for a year at a time. Many of those are married. I think though he is wrong on the drive part as I observe you all have drives depending on the man not as a whole. As a woman you can correct me if I am wrong as I am curious in this regard how you all think? Thankfully I never had this problem as I had an asexual gf get freaky with me more often than I wanted it and had an ex with a high drive who turned down her ex-husband for any intimacy but gave it freely to me. Social contacts is weird indeed but I see if you got married and a man provided quiet a lot for his wife whom refused to sleep with him once the knot is tied would be pissed.
@crystalnelson314
Жыл бұрын
@@timothygibney159 His analogy was a diner who is playing the restaurant field but the title is about a man in a relationship. If the diner signed some contract saying "I will only go to this restaurant" then shows up after close one day and doesn't get served, then instead of cutting off the contract or cooking for himself he goes to another restaurant, that is violating the contract as well and the restaurant has every right to be angry. Luckily I have never dated a man who cheated or left me for someone else the second I didn't want it nor vice versa, but what he is advocating is dangerous to relationships. What you are saying of men in completely sexless monogamous relationships, sure maybe they should consider cutting that off to go explore other options, but there is no mention of this in the video. In fact he mentioned the potential of losing a regular due to not bending the rules when they showed up after close. That seems petty even in the restaurant context. His analogy makes no sense with the contracts involved. People aren't monogamous with restaurants but if they were they should end the contract before going elsewhere as I said.
@timothygibney159
Жыл бұрын
@@crystalnelson314 Makes sense. When you are married and kids and potential a man losing his assets and retirement are involved leaving is not quite so simple. Especially if he feels is giving everything and getting no appreciation or consideration in return. But no means no and you are right in your pov in that respect as well. To me a drive for someone is not a guarantee anyway that person will still always want to sleep with you. To me if you slept with me to shut me up or out of mercy because you felt guilty being a wife that would be horrible and I prefer to take matters in my own hands no pun intended hehe. But seriously it shows to date people you have attraction too. Don't date for money
@crystalnelson314
Жыл бұрын
@@timothygibney159 If she refuses sex continually and also refuses an open relationship maybe just tell her it's over. You don't have to leave the house or kids. Sneaking around is still wrong. There are relationship problems or mental or physical health issues that can cause lower sex drive or make sex painful for people, women especially, so addressing those first should be a priority in a marriage. Regardless I would not want a 100% sexless relationship but I would settle for it if I loved the man enough otherwise. I would "take care of myself" and I have done it before. It wasn't easy though.
@miraklebtmadness
Жыл бұрын
This is some good info!
@dbii6349
Жыл бұрын
Solid advice
@Drumm3rMichael
3 ай бұрын
I usually agree with this guy, but I have to disagree with him on this one. Make your woman feel loved and wanted. If you treat sex as something you need from her, it sends a signal of selfishness and reduces her to a means for your satisfaction. Women want to feel desired by their partners, not just like they're there to fulfill a need. Imposing the idea that she'll lose you if she doesn't meet your sexual demands creates resentment and undermines any chance of a fulfilling, intimate relationship. I've had very rewarding and fulfilling sexual relationships, especially when I was selfless and genuinely desired my partner. Show her that you love and respect her, and she'll reciprocate in ways that will deeply enrich your connection.
@thanabos1008
Жыл бұрын
Interesting thoughts! How would you deal with a dwindling sex drive from a female partner once you’re already in a relationship?
@hotlucky5622
Жыл бұрын
She got you.
@oriondye3212
Жыл бұрын
Dont get into an exclusive relationship.
@axl1002
Жыл бұрын
Pretend to have a new GF if you can't have one. Make a girl to text you and make sure yours read it, but all that is temporary till you find a new GF. Remember never to give a woman the monopoly because she will brutally exploit it.
@sfrmldn
Жыл бұрын
She might be a lil comfortable mate. You should probably shake things up a bit, get her emotions riled up in order to spark desire within her.
@DNA350ppm
Жыл бұрын
It's excellent that you think it through, because something, or much, has changed. Probably you yourself have started to think, feel, treat her differently. If you keep being towards her as you were the first months, when she adored you and loved sex with you, she'll probably be as happy for sex as before. Women, especially very young women, believe that the first time (6 months?) together is the "promise" the man makes: "This is how I always will treat you, my goddess." But men often think of long term realtionships as: "If I agree to become your official monogamous man, then you'll always provide sex on demand, in addition to all the duties my mother seemed to fulfill in a marriage, whereas the courting of the goddess was just an exception, that can't be practically upheld. A combination of housekeeper+sexworker is more practical for me and also what I intended, self-evidently, stupid. In what fairy-tale world have you been living!!???" If the conversation is taken up early enough, the good courting habits can be rekindled. A woman will know what she misses - the answer will be individual, and one woman can't tell what it is all about for another woman, there is no universal maintenance manual. Women want to be treated as if they are unique, because they are. Women, we can generalize as much, pay attention to very small details. It can be scary, but it is vital for your babies, the survival of your offspring, so don't dismiss this capacity. If you are heterosexual it is better to love women as the women they are.
@DanielClementYoga
Жыл бұрын
I appreciate the economic metaphors, but if we reduce intimacy to a transaction it is no longer intimacy. The solution to the conundrum you offer here is simply to pay for sex from a number of enthusiastic providers, which I have absolutely no problem with - but to apply this economic thinking to a partner's sexual availability would be to most people a huge turn-off. Sex is like a conversation - there are times when the other person is more or less talkative than we are. To imply that getting up and leaving that person whom you live with to go and talk to someone else when they are reticent or simply quiet is an unimaginative solution. A better solution would be to get them to talk about what they are interested in at that moment, or simply to be in one another's company without words. The restaurant is always open for a kiss, a hug, or something that is on the menu at that time for either partner.
@jackdeniston59
Жыл бұрын
How is that working out for you?
@DanielClementYoga
Жыл бұрын
@@jackdeniston59 Well if we keep on with the restaurant metaphors and consider that quality is much better than quantity (I stay away from fast food) I think I'm doin' ok. Periods of intermittent fasting allow the next meal to taste really good.
@ditaqytyku7640
Жыл бұрын
@@DanielClementYoga ❤
@hotlucky5622
Жыл бұрын
Naive. Women treat sex as a bargaining chip (or at least try to) ALL THE TIME.
@tripleseven8361
Жыл бұрын
It’s not a perfect analogy, but it’s very very close!
@carlospita6442
Жыл бұрын
Just give them a taste of their own medicine. Reduce the attention and resources you provide her and you will how quickly she gets in the mood
@melissalee5679
Жыл бұрын
Yep. She can go and find somebody else to provide just as you can.
@mr.kakerudanielvl6496
5 ай бұрын
But what does this mean? To Actually seek sex with other women? What in the case of monogamy? There it be an actual relationship or a preference to stay monogamous since the start? An option could be to not give her certain benefits from the relationship, but the need for sex still exists; I don't win by merely punishing the other. In what way can we actually win in the context of monogamy?
@guysmiley4872
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely brilliant! Genius
@LONELYOLDFATUGLYHOMELESSBUM
Жыл бұрын
lol.. spot on... before i became size of whale.. i actually knew a girl who out sexed me lol
@TravelsoftheCat
Жыл бұрын
It gets worse when the customer is the one paying all the bills for the restaurant to even exist but it doesn't want to open up.
@David-ej1ps
Жыл бұрын
customer shouldn’t be paying bills at a restaurant… they should be paying for meals and good service only
@53strat55
Жыл бұрын
Then you are a owner, like the dad. You a customer.
@MassahGotMeTwerking
6 ай бұрын
Staff it with Mexicans... they'll work ❤
@ErikLeed
5 ай бұрын
@@MassahGotMeTwerking Hahaha:)
@Drumm3rMichael
3 ай бұрын
I understand that you feel like she should reciprocate, especially if you’re providing for her. But people need to understand that sex is more than just getting off. Feeling entitled to sex in exchange to what you provide makes the experience seem so boring and transactional. We aren’t goods and services; Women are very emotional creatures and want to feel desired and loved. Show her some romance and that you actually desire her, rather than desire using her as a tool for you to get off, and she’ll give you everything you want.
@double_0_jake263
Жыл бұрын
I'm a man and my ex wanted sex more often than me. Women get insanely upset if you aren't down when they are because it's totally unexpected.
@dr.jenniferma3914
Жыл бұрын
Very true. Women can feel extra rejected because of the role reversal. The assumption in society is that men will always want it. But women often find that men don't like them to initiate sex.
@Leoo117
Жыл бұрын
@@dr.jenniferma3914 I believe women feel extra hurt when rejected because they take it to mean something personal about their attractiveness. It's an insecurity. Women initiating is probably the best and most natural thing. Any man that doesn't like a woman to initiate is also suffering from an insecurity.
@sammyb1651
Жыл бұрын
@@Leoo117 Being real, it's just an entitlement thing. It's not much deeper than that. Women have a far greater sense of entitlement (to most things) than men.
@Alex-bl8uh
Жыл бұрын
@@friendsandfriends970 and are you ok with that or do you wish for more?
@Alex-bl8uh
Жыл бұрын
@dude Willis oh what a truly wild story. It seems like you tried to work it out with your husband, but he didn't cooperate. Do you know why? I mean I understand that you have cheated when he doesn't try to meet your needs at all. But there has to be a reason for it or not? There was a time where he love you so.. idk. At least you keep your family for the kids, but it could be better for the kids to divorce if you are cold to each other on a daily bases. With that said it's good that you are happier know I suppose.
@wingsoffreedom3589
Жыл бұрын
This is exactly why Mgtow said "girlfriends are better than wives." One exists in a competitive market and if the product or service fails to satisfy you can go to their competition. Vs choosing to live in a monopolized market in which you have agreed to only buy at one store that chooses if or when it wants to open but still gets your money via a subscription model.
@achiepalaago
6 ай бұрын
Subscription model indeed 😂😂. A lifetime subscription I might add. Very insightful.
@tarablue4472
5 ай бұрын
Girlfriends do not exist in a competitive market. Boyfriends are the ones competing for the girlfriends, that's why some men are sexless, they've been outcompeted. The thing with marriage is that domestics fall disproportionately on women which tires them out and fatigue adversely affects their libido, that's why their sex drive drops. Girlfriends don't have to live with you, pick up after you or chase after children so they have more energy for sex. But it's men who have to compete more than women. Just to clear that up.
@wingsoffreedom3589
5 ай бұрын
@@achiepalaago hence why marriage is stupid you are purchasing the possibility of a relationship she however is getting an insurance policy regardless of what happens.
@wingsoffreedom3589
5 ай бұрын
@@tarablue4472 depends on ratios if you are a man of status you have options but if you marry you still have to pay Jeff Besos wife is one of the richest women on earth because of her ex husband. Also domesticity has long since been contradicted by other factors we see similar declines of sex in marriages where children have nannies and there is a family house cleaner. Women's libido can go down with weight increases and hormones over time. Many women marry for security and sex was a means to an end for them as in they had kids and and are secure for life this can also be paired with husbands lacking sex appeal do to unmasculine behavior. The final reason is lack of relational gratitude. Families where either party works away from their spouse can often take them for granted and also feel unapreciated themselves they then resent the other spouse and fall into being parents instead of lovers. Girlfriends tend to filter out the security based marriages since a chance of failure means she is there cause she actually likes the boyfriend and there is inherent performance pressure which is a good thing.
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