👆 SUBSCRIBE for more videos EVERY WEEK! 👀 WATCH the FAQs from this video HERE: kzitem.info/news/bejne/uJp43YdrhoCIpXY ❓ What was most helpful in this video???
@jnada101
3 жыл бұрын
I appreciate you saying that it's fine to switch labels. I thought I was bi for years and even wrote articles defending the validity of bisexuality in my high school newspaper...but I realized I was lesbian just last October as a senior, so I feel bad for being a "bisexuality is just a stepping stone to being gay" stereotype :/
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
It is just part of your journey, don’t feel bad! I am so proud of you for writing those articles, even if that’s not what you identify as now. Be proud of yourself😊
@siyandwandwa1471
3 жыл бұрын
we fell in love in October 🍂...
@enielfblerta428
3 жыл бұрын
Don't feel bad! I'm bi and I don't mind this at all. Maybe without the bi identity an attraction to women would've felt too alien and you would've identified as hetero for much longer. There's nothing wrong with identifying with a label that feels right to you, even if you might change it later :)
@KoolKeithProductions
2 жыл бұрын
@@enielfblerta428 You're not bi. You're gay. Leave us dudes alone. We dont want your crazy
@car_go_vroom_vroom8602
3 жыл бұрын
I identified as bisexual most of my life. But after finally being with a woman, I realized I was lesbian. My whole life, I just thought I hated kissing people; turns out I only hate kissing men.
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
So happy you found yourself!🥰
@a_ciara6
3 жыл бұрын
I’ve identified as bisexual since I was 12 and recently came out. Recently though I’ve been questioning it and I have no desire for a boyfriend and when I was with men, I honestly thought I was asexual sometimes but it’s not like that with women. Today I sat in front of the mirror and said both “I’m bisexual and like men and women” and “I’m a lesbian and only like women” and when I said the latter, I noticed a small smile on my face and it felt like such a breakthrough in this confusing process. I’m still figuring it all out but I think I’m getting closer to finally finding out who I am. ☺️
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I am so sooooo happy and proud of you! This is an incredible thing and I am so happy I get to be part of you ur journey 🥰 wishing you all the best!
@a_ciara6
3 жыл бұрын
@@XanthevanderGulik Thank you 💛 I’m so happy I came across your channel today!
@beezafs
3 жыл бұрын
hiii!🥺 im in the same boat as you right now, so did you ever find it out?😅
@manabanana0712
3 жыл бұрын
you're so underrated-
@wannabehuman
3 жыл бұрын
Girls feel like art and nature and springtime and boys feel like lightning and marble and fire and to me they’re both passions of a different kind
@cmegan06
3 жыл бұрын
It's wild to me, the stuff you're saying seems kinda obvious, like yeah if you don't have any desire to kiss or have sex with guys... maybe you're not attracted to them? But for so long I just kept denying this was the case, either being like "well no straight girls like kissing or having sex with guys" (which doesn't really make sense but might've stemmed from weird stereotypes about women) or thinking that I just hadn't found the right one yet. Crazy how our minds try to dance around accepting the truth.
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. I can definitely relate to what you are going through. Once I actually accepted who I am and felt comfortable, I wanted to help others do what I did, and I hope this video helped! If you have any questions, feel free to ask, the same goes for any video suggestions. :-)
@meritxell_cai516
3 жыл бұрын
Okay but for example, if I imagin a future with a woman and I like it but when I imagin it with a man it feels like is an obligation and that is what I have to do, that makes me a lesbian?
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
That sounds like you are a lesbian. I can’t tell you the answer, but I would definitely say you have a 99% chance of being lesbian. Hope that helped!
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Do whatever makes you happy, not what you feel you need to do. If it feels like an obligation, that’s not good for you.
@meritxell_cai516
3 жыл бұрын
@@XanthevanderGulik Thank you so much😊
@calavera2715
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you tbh, now I know I am definitely bi. I was questioning for a while and never gave myself some rational time to think. I don't think a lesbian would do some of the things I did, and I don't think a straight girl would do some of the things I did lmao.
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I’m so so happy I could help! Just know that you are you and that is all that matters. Have a wonderful day!
@0hz0eyy
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Xanthe!! I just wanna tell you that I identify as a Lesbian. I just wanna say thank you so so much for helping me. I really love your videos and I just wanna say you are truly AMAZING ❤️ keep up the great work 😊
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Awwww that you Zoeya, you are so sweet!!!💜💜💜 I love that you like watching my videos 🥰
@0hz0eyy
3 жыл бұрын
No problem I’ll always be here for you ❤️❤️❤️😊😊
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Ditto💕
@mesquitecervino249
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah. I am already half way through the video and I identify with a lot of these things. I always felt embarrassed about the fact that I was dating a guy and I never wanted anyone to know. Kissing was so boring and whatever to me. And I could tell when a guy thought I was attractive, and was into me, so I would then think: oh I must be attracted to him because I feel butterflies. I felt uncomfortable butterflies. Like I knew something was wrong in the pit of my stomach but I was reading it as: I have a crush so I am nervous. But the reality was that I was mis reading the signs my body was screaming at me. When I think of being married to or dating or kissing the woman I like I feel all warm and goopy and happy inside. And I want everyone to know about her and that I like her, and I want to ask my friends if they think she likes me, etc. But when I was dating guys I would hide who I was dating and felt ashamed to be around them. When I think about labels bisexual and straight feel gross to me. Lesbian feels right and makes me feel happy.
@XanthevanderGulik
2 жыл бұрын
I am so happy for you! So happy that you can finally understand your feelings! 🥰
@jillianelam6846
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for making this video! It did help me a lot! I am currently questioning whether I'm bisexual or a lesbian and this helped! The percentages thing helped the most in my option because for me I felt like it was 99% and 1%. At first I think that's because society standards and me just not being sure, but them I'm like but what if I do like men but just by a tiny bit? So I'm still going to take some time before I put a label but I do think I am lesbian so thanks again! ❤🌈
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I am so incredibly happy I could help you! You are perfect as you, take as much time as you need
@normandoesstuff387
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video!! Im kinda questioning my sexuality, and this really helped!
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad!
@guhguhguhguhguhguh
2 жыл бұрын
Hello! This video really helped! I have identified and asexual for a few months now, and I am very comfortable with that label. I've always felt somewhat uncomfortable around boys, and I almost dated a guy, and I tried fantasizing about a first kiss with him, but it felt too weird. We haven't talked in a while. A friend I met a few months ago was hanging out with me one day, and I got the butterflies. I saw her the other day and I got the butterflies again. Since then, I've been questioning if I'm bi or lesbian.
@XanthevanderGulik
2 жыл бұрын
I’m so so happy this video helped out! 🥰 I wish you all the best!
@gibbon9189
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the video. I really needed this. I've been so confused because I kept thinking that the smallest thought I had about a man was attraction. I can look at a man and think "He is very attractive." but I've never desired anything with him, even a kiss. This made me realize i've been in denial my whole life. I have a lot of handsome men who are my friends and never felt anything. Sometimes I try to convince myself I'm attracted to them because I imagine if I was married with them my parents would be very proud. People also tell us we'd look cute together. I just brush it off. Oh shit this is a giant revelation 😰
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
This warms my heart🤗 thank you for sharing this with me! You are so incredible for finding yourself 🥰 You are a beautiful human and you deserve to be yourself! 💜 Lots of love, Xanthe
@mariamgorjian
3 жыл бұрын
This is probably one of the best videos on this topic that I’ve found on KZitem. You boil it down to action and reaction examples that definitely resonated with me. I knew I was a lesbian very young because of how I felt about women’s behaviors towards me versus men’s. I also never pictured a man as my soulmate, but more so as a brotherly figure.
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for saying that! I am so happy you enjoyed this video! It means a lot that I can make good videos for people and have an impact🥰
@mariamgorjian
3 жыл бұрын
Keep up the great work! I would love to see a video comparing younger vs. older lesbian advice when it comes to handling certain female behaviors. I'm a bit older than you, and have learned SO many lessons about navigating expectations. It really wasn't until my 30s that I found women to be more open and honest about what they wanted, and the particular boundaries they were willing to cross. Even so, you must be careful, because getting attached to someone (anyone) with one shoe out the door can be a tough bridge to walk. For example, women can get really flirty and let their hair down after a couple of drinks....don't let stuff like that confuse you because often times they are just trying to blow off steam, or use it as an excuse to play around. All that is fine (we've all done it), but just remember where you stand. I also wanted to say that I love your speaking voice! So calm and confident. You could easily read audio books!
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for that video idea! Love it! Ans thank you🥰 I love performing (I miss doing theatre, gosh darn Covid) It means a lot that you said I sound calm and confident 😁
@Queenbennyofficial
3 жыл бұрын
I find some boy cute but I don’t want to be in a relationship but I sometimes will cuddle and stufff
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
liking to be around boys is different than wanting a romantic relationship with them. You are absolutely allowed to find boys cute and like cuddling and still be lesbian. I like having hugs from my guy friends because it feels comforting, but I know I would never have a romantic relationship with them. Take care, Xanthe
@Designer239
3 жыл бұрын
I don’t ever label myself as a lesbian , cuz I jus know that I’m a lesbian too. But whoever does labels themselves as a lesbian pls don’t do that to ur self and pls have more positivity in ur self. Cuz many of us women Loves you and so do I.
@AmandavanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
🥰 you're so awesome Xanthe! So proud 🏳️🌈
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
🥰🥰🥰
@Hannahdealer8180
2 жыл бұрын
I love this video. I actually like different things on guys and girls, so I feel more confident accepting that I might be bi and not gay. I have been feeling pressured to pick lately
@XanthevanderGulik
2 жыл бұрын
You don’t have to pick. Love who you love 💕 you don’t even have to label yourself, just be yourself💕 I’m glad that you are feeling more confident though.
@liana6165
3 жыл бұрын
the dislikes are from peoples that are in the closet
@jennab5905
3 жыл бұрын
13:12 yo this part is literally me maybe i am les👀👀👀
@abhipsahazra9741
3 жыл бұрын
Whenever i am into a guy, i am usually physically attracted to them and not emotionally...but if i imagine myself with a girl, then i see myself being both emotionally and physically attracted...i dont have a crush on any girl yet...i only have female celebrity crushes .I have been questioning for a year now...but still not sure...i am pretty sure i am a bisexual. If you could give some tips then it might help me. Thank you
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
First of all, thank you for commenting! I would say that if you have attraction to both girls and boys, you could be bisexual. Generally for lesbian, there isn’t that physical attraction. If you want more help I made a video about FAQs for this video: kzitem.info/news/bejne/uJp43YdrhoCIpXY Hope that helps 💜🤗
@karlijackson8580
2 жыл бұрын
You could be a homoromantic bisexual. Look it up and see if you can relate :)
@otonoencaos8293
3 жыл бұрын
hi, i just ended up in your videos about this and i just wanted to tell u that i think you're really sweet, thank u for these videos. greetings from chile!
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!!
@flanalexagan
3 жыл бұрын
I think I’m a lesbian
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing 😁
@catarinabarbosa9509
3 жыл бұрын
Gosh this was so helpful! I have the feeling of knowing who I am but at the same time I'm not willing to "let it be". For now at least. I'm seeing a terapist and hopefully slowly I will sort it out 💖
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I am so happy this helped! I wish you all the best!🥰
@catarinabarbosa9509
3 жыл бұрын
@@XanthevanderGulik therapist* thank you Xanthe, so nice to meet you! I've already subscribed 🥰🥰
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!!!
@allysesierra3666
3 жыл бұрын
Imagine getting a like from xanthe
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
🥰🤗
@savannah3660
3 жыл бұрын
this is helping me a lot. thank you so much!
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad🥰🤗
@highandaesthetic2214
3 жыл бұрын
This helped,a LOT:)
@theglitch6664
3 жыл бұрын
This helped alot thank you for making this.
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad!
@diasirko1748
2 жыл бұрын
( Anabel💘💜💙:I'm uh bi 💗💜💙 and my lil sister is lesbian❤💝🤍🧡💝 and my babi sis is a srat 🖤🤍🖤 so ya)
@Designer239
3 жыл бұрын
I never really liked seeing the men kissing us women. But whenever I do see that , I jus put my hand over my eyes and not seeing it happening. Cuz I’m more into seeing us women kissing women. But also I never really liked being in the men’s bathroom and change rooms , it’s cuz I always feel uncomfortable jus being in there. I never really told that before , cuz I was ever so scared jus to say that stuff.
@XanthevanderGulik
3 жыл бұрын
I can definitely relate to you with not liking to see men kissing women. And thank you for sharing! You are so brave and courageous. You got this!😁
@Designer239
3 жыл бұрын
@@XanthevanderGulik Thanks girl. The real reason like why I’m so brave and courageous like that , is bcuz I know that I fit in better like when I’m with other women. And thanks for relating to what I have said. I Love you 😍
@TOHFan3157
2 жыл бұрын
I have a question, I've dated boys in the past but ever since my last ex broke up with me, I am dating a girl and identify as bi because ie dated boys in the past, ut were since I stated dating my girlfriend, I never saw a boy as cute or anything now, so it's making me start questioning again, is it valid to identify as a lesbian even after I've dated boys in the past?
@XanthevanderGulik
2 жыл бұрын
It is absolutely valid to identify as a lesbian even if you have dated boys on the past! 😁 most lesbians have. Most people who are part of the lgbtq+ community start off by experimenting with different types of relationships. Your sexuality is always valid, no matter who you have or have not dated in the past, present or future 😁🥰
@jade1057
2 жыл бұрын
How do I no I am lesbians
@XanthevanderGulik
2 жыл бұрын
Honestly, it is really hard to to fully know that you are a lesbian for at least a while. But if you have been thinking about this for a while and you feel that you are attracted to women, you can be lesbian. If you want more help, I have a couple videos on “how I knew I was lesbian, not bisexual”. That might help you differentiate between the two 😁
@jade1057
2 жыл бұрын
@@XanthevanderGulik I have been feeling attractive to women for while now
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