If someone sees this, please pray for my difficult relationship with my mother. It has been something I've struggled with all of my life. I so want to honor her, and I always end up failing (not to be pessimistic). I pray God gives me the strength and peace to be able to just be respectful toward her, even when she doesn't seem to take me into account or understand me.
@paulinebrooks3221
2 жыл бұрын
I think we should prayer for all daughters who have a difficult relationship with their mothers. My mother (God rest her soul) had her own problems and although I really do think she loved me she had issues that made that difficult to really believe. Perhaps we are more judgmental about our mothers because - being women - we expect more of them? I don't know - but you have my prayers because this issue doesn't go away when your mother dies - the brokenness needs a lot of prayer. So please lets pray for each other and all other daughters who have this struggle.
@pennybrooks9038
2 жыл бұрын
@Chicana SC, I feel ya. I am and have been in the same boat! Maybe we can pray for each other! 🙏🏻
@pennybrooks9038
2 жыл бұрын
@@paulinebrooks3221 I’ll pray for you too, Pauline
@paulinebrooks3221
2 жыл бұрын
@@pennybrooks9038 God bless you
@mrloski2915
2 жыл бұрын
I understand. This is one of my biggest struggles.
@cnguyen5529
3 жыл бұрын
My sister and I were literally discussing how to cope with our divorced, toxic parents and their bad habits. It’s been so difficult to manage since childhood and they are now still refusing to share their new grandchild with each other as they did with their children. Thank you so much Father Mike for dropping this video, it is truly a blessing and provides so much needed guidance. Godspeed always Father Mike and thank you for all you do🙌🏻 -online pew parishioner
@l.k.1111
3 жыл бұрын
Riight...💯
@achristfollowingturnbullma8237
3 жыл бұрын
The lord says to honour our mother and father and I put this to God, in fact a few times I have, so yes Thanks Fr Mike I needed to understand this
@freshliving4199
3 жыл бұрын
You honor your parents by not hating them. To overcome your hatred you need to go and forgive them, they both did the best they knew how. In turn God will forgive you your sins and change your nature. Btw there is no “coping” in God.
@cnguyen5529
3 жыл бұрын
@@freshliving4199 Never once said I hated them. With all due respect, i sought Father Mike’s guidance, not yours. This was a thanks to Father Mike because it was a video that we very much needed & I trust his word. I unfortunately do not know you. I do see where you are coming from because that is exactly what we are currently practicing and applying into our daily lives, but the word “coping” was used as a means to express that we are doing our best to follow Gods word & also to set the record straight, we weren’t “coping” in God as you had misconstrued. Please don’t twist my words for your benefit. It’s not very godly as you hope to be.
@freshliving4199
3 жыл бұрын
@@cnguyen5529 I wouldn't trust Mike as far as I can throw him. I trust my Father God only. If you know your parents are so toxic, why would you even want to submit your child to that kind of evil?
@kathyalex778
3 жыл бұрын
"Every Christian vocation has its difficulties", you got that right!! 😂
@christophewakim3587
3 жыл бұрын
Hey guys pray for me and for my parents and brothers and sisters. And we are praying for you ❤️✝️🙏🏼
@nafinongkynrih8270
3 жыл бұрын
God bless you and your family as well 🙏 stay safe🙂
@tracybuck7534
3 жыл бұрын
Praying for all of you.
@rosemarymanathara
3 жыл бұрын
praying for you!!
@jesitacarvalho5456
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you brother. God bless 🙌
@tempesnyder6243
3 жыл бұрын
I am sending my prayers, with strength and healing. For all of you.
@barbarawalsh2875
Жыл бұрын
You were extremely lucky that you had a very loving parents. From just the stories you shared with us and I did watch as you presided over your mom’s funeral. The amount of love that your family has for each other was all there to see in the most personal and private of moments. I hope that you are doing OK.
@TheJoshuaJames
10 ай бұрын
Sometimes honoring them might just be not talking poorly about them, that’s often the best that I can do.
@daisyg8384
15 сағат бұрын
How do you do when the majority of their behaviors with you just deserve it, and you need people around you to knpow the truth about them, and to get some support ? :(
@josephjackson1956
3 жыл бұрын
For real, like every time on of these videos comes out, they are immediately applicable to something in my life or someone I love. Please pray for the strained relationships my fiance has with her divorced parents!
@naomiarkison5365
3 жыл бұрын
God bless you for supporting your fiancé. I know it must mean the world to her!
@tempesnyder6243
3 жыл бұрын
I am sending prayers, with strength and healing, to both her and the parents.
@chicanasc4201
2 жыл бұрын
I agree with Naomi. Your fiance is blessed to have your support as she navigates this very difficult part of her life. Praying for her right now.
@-.Ren_Ren.-
2 жыл бұрын
We will pray for your brother 🕊🤝🤝 Also, it's always readily applicable bc God taught us these things and set up a whole Catholic Church to continue to teach their things throughout the generations.
@kathyalex778
3 жыл бұрын
I love that you mentioned 3 different kinds of respect: basic base line respect for all humans because we were all made in the image of God, then respect for elders and authority (but this may be removed if the person does not fulfill their role responsibly), and finally individual respect which is earned through kindness or accomplishment.
@l.k.1111
3 жыл бұрын
Yes!! Your summary of what was said was just as great too! Wow. Amen. I have one of God's servants explaining the different respects (and other things) in a video and all I can do is be thankful. If someone devoted to God (lifelong) speaks on things in such a way that even feels good to the soul to hear and meaning is good I listen (it hits me spiritually, like, walking into an interview, or going on a "first date" -the Feeling just Before those events and not those events...to Try and describe the closest thing that it provokes lol, but basically my Mind hears good and it pays attention and observes and absorb). Then, on top...great community of people. Amen.🙌
@chuckmaxon3727
3 жыл бұрын
Father Mike, I basically did all that you have said. My mother had been quite abusive to me as a child, I still felt obligated to honor her a person and to care for her in her old age. I was actually paying the rent and caring for her when I was 16. I have no regrets. I think that a good thought for parents would be to love and care for their children, someday the parent will need the love and care of their adult child.
@sydwee915
2 жыл бұрын
I never felt like my mother loved me. I've spent most my life trying to win her love. But the closer I come to God the more he shows me that all I need is him. He has shown me how to love her as my mom and respect her as such but not to put my needs in her.
@babyshooz
27 күн бұрын
🙏🏽
@Moogantaylorr
3 жыл бұрын
Wow I needed this. Not too long ago I learned that my dad cheated on my mom. It’s been so difficult to find forgiveness and still honor him in the same way but this video helped tremendously, thank you.
@fathima1639
11 ай бұрын
I'm not even Christian but this made so much sense and was very comforting to hear as a person of faith. Thank you!
@ambilaevus7607
3 жыл бұрын
This is something I really struggled with in 1994-97. Mom was a violent drunk and Dad ran off with literally a very petty controlling blonde bimbo. I was on my own at 14 because they were so dang focused on selves. God bless the elderly women in my town that took me under their wing. If it hadn't been for them I'd never done more then repeat my parents behavior. I'm working on my graduate degree at 40, raised 2 men, held strong to my ethics and grew out of drama/stupidity.
@lyndiepanitz4431
8 ай бұрын
I was so blessed to have holy and loving parents. I will pray for those that did not.
@eskercurve
3 жыл бұрын
Both my parents ended up being toxic, narcissistic, living in perpetual mortal sin. Both have abandoned the faith. One has swung between addictions and we kids literally let that person hit rock bottom. It was the best thing we could do. Today they're doing better but has a long road ahead. The other is in a lifestyle we don't like but know there is no openness to change so we love that person by just noting our objections and saying live your best life all things considered and love them as best we can. Not ideal, but we take what we can get, just like Jesus choosing us despite our sinfulness.
@PGPJG
3 жыл бұрын
I feel you 😭😭😭 abandonment is very difficult and heartbreaking. Praying for you, love ❣
@samanthaortiz6595
3 жыл бұрын
Prayers for peace and healing and delierence in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth threw out the whole world 🙏🏽 and 🙏🏽 alleluia
@gracievelazquez5795
3 жыл бұрын
I just finished my therapy session and this topic is what I’m dealing with right now. 🙏🏽❤️
@rick6272
3 жыл бұрын
Forgive them so Our Father who is in Heaven can forgive you. 🙏🏻🛡⚔️🕊✌🏻🤟🏻
@princesadedios5690
3 жыл бұрын
I love my dad, but I feel guilty because I don’t like to be around him. He makes me uncomfortable and I feel intimidated. I do anything and everything for my parents, I’m there for them always, and I love them very much. I enjoy visiting with mom and we’re very close, but I avoid my dad as much as I can. I have good reason for doing so, but have been feeling bad about it. I’ll always be there for him if he needs me, but I can’t be in his company, it takes a lot of effort on my part. I always felt like I was obligated to go see him and visit with him, but lately I just couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore, and it’s been feeling so liberating. Anyway, since yesterday I’ve been feeling like talking about it with our parish priest, and then I see Fr. Mike has made a video about this topic! Wow! God bless everyone.♥️
@granmabern5283
3 жыл бұрын
In my experience Iif I pray before visiting and get my INTENTIONS right with God, I can visit toxic people occasionally, without feeling damaged. If I visit because I’m bored or lonely and I’m hoping they fill that gap for me, it just hurts.
@chocolate-eq6jn
3 жыл бұрын
I felt that way about my Dad when I was a young adult. I would visit my parents every Sunday, after I moved out, and there wasn't much interaction between my Dad and myself. I didn't feel bad about it. It was the only way that we could peacefully co-exist. If you limit your time with him, and stick to neutral topics when you are talking with him, it may be easier. You are still honoring him, but you are being realistic and acknowledging that there are limitations on your relationship. My Dad was grateful that I came to see him, even if he ignored me, because he was watching football. That didn't bother me at all. I just brought my laundry over, cooked lunch and used the telephone to talk to my friends. My Mom and I weren't especially close, but we weren't enemies, either. All in all, I still felt good about visiting my parents, instead of blowing them off.
@elained9363
3 жыл бұрын
@ Princessa de Dios do not give up hope. I had a difficult dad. I thought he hated me, he wouldn’t speak to me, as he turned the tv up when I visited him. I thought he hated me b/c I love Jesus. And it wasn’t until his recent dying days this year (caught Covid). He called out to me specifically; requested for me to keep the peace amongst my (5) siblings, as he was about to be entubated on a ventilator. I always kept him on a bead of my rosary- prayed for his conversion. I believe it happened. 😉
@paularodrigues275
Жыл бұрын
I have a difficult dad and I have a hard time being around him. My mom passed away recently, she is a Saint. She endured alot from my father. He was awful to her, mentally and physically. I'm trying to help my father as much as I can. I find it difficult to be around him. He is mean, and hates everything and everyone. I pray 🙏 that God changes his heart and so that I am able to take care of him as he ages. Please pray for us.🙏
@Rm-kr2bp
3 жыл бұрын
How to love your difficult parents? Love them from a distance 💪🤘
@chateaumojo
3 жыл бұрын
I sent cards, called, sent gifts, and so on, but it's halfway across the country... which is not so bad.
@kj-my7se
2 жыл бұрын
"At a distance relationship" needs to work both ways. 💅
@zelie1155
3 жыл бұрын
I have always wanted to know this and never heard anyone preach on it. Thank you Fr. Mike!
@maximillianafrancine1451
7 ай бұрын
Just had a flaming row with my Dad. It got physical but I was able not to raise my hand against him. Now I just want him out of my home.
@juanotero162
3 жыл бұрын
Bless you Father Mike. I've been struggling with my father for many years, and my mother enables his behavior. I also find Paul's letter to the Ephesians 6:4 helpful, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
@FrogeniusW.G.
2 жыл бұрын
Amen
@babyshooz
Жыл бұрын
Beautiful ❤
@barbarawalsh2875
11 ай бұрын
Yes, my dad was absent the day they taught that.
@GMarino24
3 жыл бұрын
Prudence, prudence, prudence! Read St. Thomas Aquinas, particularly the Summa Theologica. You will see how thorough he explains honor of parents as well as just about every other virtue in utterly Catholic, orthodox language. Highly recommend!
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for that recommendation. Actually hovered over that book on Amazon this afternoon.
@boeingceo
Ай бұрын
I'm a Muslim and found this video very helpful, thank you!
@joyyoung3319
3 жыл бұрын
Thank You Father Mike God Bless You!
@floramarydacosta342
3 жыл бұрын
Father Mike, thank you for the good advice, yes we ought to Love God above all and Obey God first, and certainly do what is right and just, and answer the call of duty and above all Love...🙏! Pls pray for my mum to be healed and have the grace to turn to God in all needs and for security 4rather then go to seek human attention who reject and leave us broken.. but may God heàl and renew us in the holy Spirit and protect us. 🙏
@AllanKoayTC
3 жыл бұрын
i am caring for my 90-year-old dad, and i find our roles have reversed. i am more like the parent, and he the child. the role of dependence has certainly changed, and i feel i have to walk with him through his golden years. i had a hard time with him when i was growing up, but now i adore him so much.
@naomiarkison5365
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing. That gives me hope for my own family.
@elained9363
3 жыл бұрын
Beautiful that you can appreciate him now. I don’t have my dad anymore, he died b/c of Covid. Enjoy🙏 😇
@AllanKoayTC
3 жыл бұрын
@@elained9363 so sorry for your loss.
@shelley5008
3 жыл бұрын
I’m there with my mom. Grateful to share her last years with her but there are times when her stubbornness gets me. I have to stop, breathe, pray and move forward. God bless!!
@cindymmc.2869
3 жыл бұрын
I am the same with my mom, who was the rock for me but now I have to care for her and she is so meek now. My mom was always the support in my family it was hard to see the roles change. I always went to her now I accept I need to care for her. My dad was very stubborn Irish man. But, he passed and now look back and we always thought he was too strict but, now realize he was a great dad.
@kkonz4027
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Fr. Mike!!! I so needed this. My widowed 90 yr old mother is still trying to manipulate and bully me into her way of thinking. And now she is trying to turn my young adult children against me. She is beyond exhausting and I have spoken with my parish priest many times about her. Thank you for putting this out there. This is a huge issue and the covid crisis made things exponentially worse. God Bless you!
@plantagenant6789
3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Prayers your way. I will admit that when my mother finally died, it was like a ton of bricks off my shoulders.
@kkonz4027
3 жыл бұрын
@@plantagenant6789 Thank you for your kind words and prayers. It means a lot. Prayers for you also!
@cheryl71000
3 жыл бұрын
My mother iis awful at the moment caring for her. Nothing is good enough or right for her. Organised carers for her etc. I will pray for you too when I pray for myself.
@beautifulspirit7420
3 жыл бұрын
If you don't already, be honest with your children about your mother's behavior and put in boundaries. My husband's family can dissolve into screaming and conflict. First I always protected my children when they were small but now they are older teens and young adults I tell them they have my full permission to LEAVE if at any time things get uncomfortable. They can tell their dad that they want to go. I love my husband very much but because he was raised in this environment he needs us to help him put in boundaries at times.. He wasn't given permission to leave or say "no" when things got toxic. They are not always like this, so that's why our children still visit and I think having boundaries has helped them control themselves somewhat as they know they won't see their grandchildren/younger relatives as often.
@riviclaye615
Жыл бұрын
I forgave my parents, but do i NEED to have a relationship with them? May I honor them from a distance? Pray for them, but not communicate with them? I have 3 brothers that will take care of my surviving Mother, when she's elderly. Please, may the scapegoat be allowed under God, to honor from a distance? I just want peace.
@jeneedansard3409
2 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this today. I struggle with guilt as both my parents have passed away with addiction issues. Guilty feelings thinking I couldn’t have done more as I didn’t enable and let them hit rock bottom. Thank you.
@NothingMatterz
Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry for your loss.
@Mbuyiselo5
Жыл бұрын
So sorry for your loss, so not blame yourself you did the best you could
@renojanspectra4137
3 жыл бұрын
Really having a hard time with my parents...But gotta keep moving forward.
@rosecotton2991
2 жыл бұрын
What happens if you have a psychopathic mother who has abused you and broken you so badly that you develop C-PTSD, fybromialgya, ect, as a result? I believe sometimes going no contact is what you have to do in order to protect your mental health and your integrity as a person. You can still love and honor your parents (if they are narcissists or psychopaths) by praying for them and willing their good, but not necessarily by having a relationship with them if they have abused you badly and continue to do so giving the opportunity. Thanks for all the good you are doing Fr. Mike, and blessings to all. It is truly devastating to have parents that instead of loving you as they should, they harm you badly…
@AdoradorEucaristico
Жыл бұрын
@Marie Pierre Wembo God Bless You infintely! God loves you deeply and He is the only one who can heal your wounds, He is Our Healer, Our Peace Maker Our joy our strength our true friend! I am a survivor of a narcissists mother and I feel you and just know that HE OUR LORD HEALED MY WOUNDS , HE HAS MADE ME STRONG HE HEALED MY HEART MY MIND MY SPIRIT MY SOUL MY LIFE! IN THIS ONE OCCASION IN A DESPERATE MOMENT I TURNED TO HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND I SAYS " lORD HELP ME!!!!!! HE HEARD MY CRY MY PAIN MY SUFFERING , AND HE DID IT MISS MARIE , I GO TO HIM IN ADORATION , I TURN TO HIM IN PERSONAL PRAYER , I RECIEVE HIM IN THE HOLY EUCHARIST WHERE HE IS TRUELY PRESENT IN BODY BLOOD AND DIVINITY.... I BELIEVE IN HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND HE IS WITH ME DIVINELY ITS A GRACE HE HAS GIVEN ME AND JUST WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE , MOTHER MARY HAS BEEN WITH ME TOO , SHE HAS BEEN MY MAMA MY MOTHER ! I BELIEVE IF YOU ATTEND HEALING RETREATS IT BE OF GREAT BLESSING TO YOU , SPECIALLY MISS MARIE GO TO HIM IN ADORATION AND SPEND TIME WITH HIM , I GO EVERY OPPORTUNITY I CAN , RECEIVE HIM DAILY IF POSSIBLE , READ HIS WORD DAILY , PRAYTHE ROSARY AND ASK MOTHER MARY TO HELP YOU AND TO EMBRACE YOU TO HUG YOU AND DONT LET GO ! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY MISS MARIE I ASK MY LORD TO GIVE ME THAT TRUE GRACE TO FORGIVE AND THE GRACE TO LOVE WHO HAVE DONE ME WRONG , I LOVE MY MOTHER BUT I DONT LET HER HURT ME ANYMORE , I PRAY FOR HER SOUL TO BE SAVED AND FOR HER TRUE CONVERSION , I THINK THAT IS A SIGN OF LOVE, PRAYING FOR THE ONES THAT DONT LOVE US.....AND IF THEY REFUSE TO GET PROFFESIONAL HELP I BELIEVE KEEPING A DISTANCE IS BEST FOR OUR OWN WELL BEING , SPECIALLY IF WE HAVE CHILDREN. MISS MARIE YOU ARE LOVED ! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG! MAY OUR LORD HEAL YOUR WOUNDS WITH LOVE , HIS LOVE HAS CONQUERED DARKNESS , LOVE IS STRONGER AND ALWAYS WINS! NEVER STOP PRAYING AND BELIEVING! GO TO HIM ALWAYS! GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY MISS MARIE!
@agagnard4063
Жыл бұрын
Rose, I have CPTSD and fibromyalgia. If you would ever like to talk let me know - I know no others who have this.
@IAmJeka
3 жыл бұрын
What an amazing video Father Mike! Seriously!
@GratiaPrima_
3 жыл бұрын
My parents are (Baptist) believers, but are being super influenced by my secular brother. I’m trying to be an example and good influence, but I need prayers. He’s now out of their house, and that may be a great help regarding his influence.
@sme7385
3 жыл бұрын
God bless you Melissa, and May GOd circle His love around you and your family
@GratiaPrima_
3 жыл бұрын
@@sme7385 thanks 🙏☺️
@Richie016
3 жыл бұрын
Parents going harsh on their children's lives gets disheartening; God's call must not be overlooked, where the children are asked to devote themselves to the fulfillment of God's love and sacrifice.
@rachelgomes6470
3 жыл бұрын
needed this so badly, thank you
@fernanrendon5402
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Father. You have not clue how I need this message.
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
Fr Mike can you recommend any books on this topic? I'm not shy of deep spiritual reading but I cannot find anything...and I have been looking for a long time!
@caslcor
3 жыл бұрын
BOUNDARIES by Henry Cloud and John Townsend is incredibly awesome, available at Amazon, Kindle and Audible. After listening to it on Audible, I had to get it on Kindle just to review, highlight, and reread specific sections to help remind me about how to handle the difficult issues I had. One BONUS, which I was not aware of until I first listened to it, is the authors' abundant use of quotes from Holy Scripture to support the use of boundaries. It is a gem to me, and worth considering for handling difficult, impossible relationships with parents and others as well.
@unorthodoxyoyo
3 жыл бұрын
@@caslcor I was about to say the same thing. Can't recommend that book enough. Was really life changing and eye opening for me.
@KeyboardSourceError
3 жыл бұрын
The algorithm is getting a little creepy..But thank you for this Fr. Mike!
@panoramicLight
3 жыл бұрын
😁
@Simone-bb8yv
3 жыл бұрын
Father Mike thank you so much for this great video! God bless you! Greetings from italy
@nancygee3137
Жыл бұрын
My parents are crazy and abusive. Why did God give me such a challenge when others have it so good.
@bearlycountry2406
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for covering this topic.
@connienavarette1948
Жыл бұрын
My mother was schizophrenic. My siblings were and I were put in a foster home. Oh boy what a hard time that was too!! Didn’t know for 22 years if she was dead or alive, none of did. I prayed for her every day. We reunited after 22 yeas. I always was always respectful and kind. She was in a nursing home 3 states away 😢 she was transferred to my state. When her behavior was bad, while I was visiting with her. I would leave. I would tell her that I would come back when she was feeling better. I cared for her and was never mean. Yes, it is hard.
@charityf888
3 жыл бұрын
You know I read an article that said forgive your parents for the wrong they did becuase they possibly saw some of the things in their childhood that was wrong and they could have followed the same path. So I guess have compassion and forgiveness for them.
@ivonnemedrano8937
3 жыл бұрын
You are so spot on right god bless you Father Mike. This video also reminds me of the importance of why we need boundaries as well when it comes to the relationship with parents .
@SoulfulRose
5 ай бұрын
"I can respect the role that they did not live up to" with God's grace 🙏🏿
@nayaab7356
Ай бұрын
What if you fear death or threat to your safety by your muslim father as i have become a Christian? As the Islamic scripture allows and asks for death to apostates?
@Nena012
2 жыл бұрын
What if one of your parents had an abusive childhood and now carries those wounds and because of that they became very bitter person and really hard to get along with all our life. I’m 29 years old and I’m so exhausted of not knowing what to do but I want my mom to be my mom but I know she won’t change. But her words and actions hurt and I know I still have to honor her but idk what that is. She never takes accountability when she hurts us emotionally or her actions hurt us. Every time I talk to her about how she hurt my feelings and how I wish she would listen to me she blames me for her actions and compares her abusive childhood and says I don’t have the right to complain because I never had it as bad as she did growing up.💔 how do I continue to have a relationship with her and still honor her?
@charlestorres3427
3 жыл бұрын
My father ditched me when I was 8 and my mom told me she hates me and that I’m her least favorite child. I’m tired of wanting to love people who will never love me.
@deRose03
3 жыл бұрын
They don't deserve a minute of your attention. Move on with your life.
@elained9363
3 жыл бұрын
People who can’t love don’t love them selves. So, forgive them, and pray for them. And learn to love yourself as Jesus loved you when you were still brought to this Earth. You have a special purpose, you can love others for who they are, you have it in you. ✌️
@bernadettegalvin7768
3 жыл бұрын
That's extremely hurtful I'm sorry, I'm glad you found this video 😊
@amarahtanael2188
3 жыл бұрын
Im praying for your well being
@magreyeyes
3 жыл бұрын
"Enabling is not honouring". Thank you Father for this! So true! I gave up on my mother, as her co- dependence and abuse of 30+ years was enough. She was abusing me and my children and I finally put my foot down and said enough. Our lives have been happier and more free. Game changer. I've always told my family that enabling is also abuse and we shouldn't be doing it to anyone.
@nafinongkynrih8270
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Fr.Mike for the clarification 😊 ,God bless you 🙏
@ChristieLily35
3 жыл бұрын
Oh I needed this. I'm processing years of emotional and verbal abuse from my mother. And used the 4th Commandment to make herself the god of our house. That was the most mentioned commandment. Mass on Sunday? Nah. But serving my mother? Oh yes. I'm still a devout Catholic, but I'm on the road to learning who god really is and what parents should be.
@LinYouToo
3 жыл бұрын
My mom used to say “I’m entitled, I’m your mother!”
@lovelysweetheart1684
3 жыл бұрын
Parents are supposed to love and protect. And punish gently, not too harshly when a child messes up. Punishing not out of anger, but out of patience, and also helping the child figure out why what they did was wrong.
@moment4me123
3 жыл бұрын
I've always really struggled with respecting how my parents treat each other and how they handle disagreements. It's turned into one of those things where I've thought to myself "I hope my husband and I will be different". This video definitely helped both with the advice that it gave and with the validation that I'm not alone. Sometimes I see how my family is and fall into comparing them to other people's families and honestly would fall into wishing my family were like other families. But now I have a new way of thinking about it. Thank you Father Mike!!
@giovannipagliari1537
3 жыл бұрын
Great explanation as always Father Mike. Thank you and God bless you in your ministry in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.🙏🏻
@lynnemargiotta3582
3 жыл бұрын
I think the this verse has put more people off religion than any other verse. How many abused children have been beaten over the head with this one?
@rhondab8465
3 жыл бұрын
Abuse is a separate topic and issue. Sad it is one that runs rampant. Pray for them!
@davidmadland3483
6 ай бұрын
Ive always been academically incline to pursue life outside of my comfort zone but found my success in life meant nothing to my mother. she always turned my positivity into negativity. she fought with me every second and nothing was never good enough for her. i found that not engaging in her dishonest ways and finding ways to not engage in her behavior to be the best part of my recovery. though i do believe in unconditional love. i do not want to be in her life anymore and this is my way of dealing with years and years of neglact, hatred pain and control. im finally free from those chains and i know in my heart she never truly appreciated me for who what or when or how my life guides me towards a heathy Honorable and happy life. thank you God for showing me the way
@phine999
3 жыл бұрын
Fr. Mike, you are truly blessed; oh how many times the Lord spoke to me through your videos, thank you! I have been struggling with this as I am daily enduring abuses from my parents as an adult child. Their abuses have been so insidious (daily gaslighting) that for years I have not realized and kept thinking that it might have been an illusion/fragment of my imagination. I studied psychology to try to find answers but have only been given the insight by the Lord only very recently. God has literally been my Dad, St. Joseph my foster dad, and Mary as my own mom because my own parents are not like parents to me at all, so for years I have always attached myself to the Lord and yearn to enter the convent but each time I broached the topic, my parents would explode in rage threatening to disown me. Recently, the Lord has been reigniting this calling in my heart to discern the religious/consecrated life which I am excited to discern and explore. Yet, I have not been able to begin the real discernment because of financial problems but I aim to do so as soon as these are resolved. Your bible in year podcast gave me so much strength through these trying times as well. Thank you and please pray for me. God bless you!
@granmabern5283
3 жыл бұрын
Can you go visit convents? Volunteer for them? Get an idea of their prayer schedule and work schedule so you can integrate those into your life. May God Bless you! An Ave for you!
@phine999
3 жыл бұрын
@@granmabern5283 thank you, that's a great idea, I've tried multiple times to reach out to the Missionary of Charity sisters which I'm particularly drawn towards (Mother Teresa's convent) but haven't gotten any replies from one of their convents in the city where I live. I've sought guidance from priests and confessors who told me that the financial aspect will be a barrier to beginning discernment so I'm working on resolving that now. I will try reaching out to other convents as well, thank you for the suggestions and prayer. Really needed it ♡ God bless you!
@Barichnel
5 ай бұрын
This video hit home.
@jackiesolis6568
3 жыл бұрын
Also for me & my husband too because we can’t parent the same & believe the same with our kids 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌍🌍
@simple_naildesigns
3 жыл бұрын
In my opinion, I’d say the vocation of marriage is the most difficult one. You must learn and love another to live in daily communion as one. Thank you for this Fr. Mike. 🥰
@thememereview2373
3 жыл бұрын
Clicked, but I'm not sure if I can watch it through. Family is a complicated topic. Getting physically and mentally abused through your whole childhood, teenager years and as young adult does sth. with you. And seeing younger siblings getting through it is hard. A very dark part that rarely anyone gets to see. Even God although he knows it all. I do at least try to forgive...
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
Doreen, you are NOT invisible! I see you! I hear you! I understand you! I think Fr Mike states one of the problems..."Honor thy father and mother". I think we need some good, solid teaching as to what that means. What does "love" look like towards a person who has been emotionally ans physically abusive? One prayer I ask for is guard of my heart...I can only speak to the emotional abuse here. I have learned (with time) to put a guard. I do not let their words attack my soul. I let them bounce right back - they own what they say, not you. It is very hard to resonate this trauma and how we respond in our faith. But we must never forget that on the cross, Jesus felt EVERYTHING that has been done or said to you. EVERYTHING. You are in my prayers 🙏
@eskercurve
3 жыл бұрын
Sometimes loving and honoring your parents is saying "stop, you are being abusive" and showing them the therapy bills. Sometimes it is doing the best you can to try to convince them to change their way ... then stopping seeing them if they persist. Pray for them. Thank them for giving you life. Start with that.
@rhondab8465
3 жыл бұрын
Keep praying and healing you, you can do it. God bless!
@deRose03
3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry, I hope you can heal, all the best blessings to you.
@dianagonzalez9602
8 ай бұрын
I like to listen to you Fr Mike but you talk so fast sometimes 😂😂
@Dj_Gj
3 жыл бұрын
Whenever I have a rough day, I always find myself here. When I argue with family, I'm always here. Thank you, Fr. Mike Schmitz and the entire Ascension Presents team. Thank you for being there when I need you the most.
@FrogeniusW.G.
2 жыл бұрын
♡
@codygauze8118
6 ай бұрын
My mother’s narcissistic and toxic behavior has ruined her relationship with my wife, and caused me to recently go non-contact with her. A situation that will undoubtedly affect my relationship with the rest of my family due to blind loyalty and the mindset of “That is your mother.” But I can’t deal with it. I love her, but not who she has become. She intentionally said things to hurt/disrespect my wife and I. And I can’t tolerate that, regardless of our relation. I am working towards forgiveness for her. I love her with all of my heart. But until the time comes that she is willing to change her behavior, if that day ever comes, our relationship will be strained. I will still love her, and give honor to the roll she holds in my life, but I cannot subject myself to the level of heartache and pain she recently caused me.
@jellyrollfan93
4 ай бұрын
I’m going through the same thing ❤
@katyarn85
3 жыл бұрын
Wow all the pain in the comment section. What a broken world we live in. I am also...Hang in there people, we only have to preserve til blessed death gets us. Soon!! Maybe we have to learn that people… that God is the only trustworthy person, the only one we can truly rely on
@KeyboardSourceError
2 жыл бұрын
I'm back again...Expect to see me a few more times to remind me of this virtue.
@susanlemenchick2935
3 жыл бұрын
Wow! Great video and timing! Trying to deal with a parent with some dementia. 🙏 thank you for this timely talk!
@hksuperstar
3 жыл бұрын
"Honor thy father and thy mother." Thanks Father Mike. God bless you.
@nonawolf7495
4 ай бұрын
I live 1,200 miles away from my parents. 20 years ago, when they were in their 70's, I begged them to move close to me so I could care for them when they got old. For 20 years, they refused - and insisted they stay in their own home. Now they need my help and Mom has demanded that I move across the country to be their live in care taker... she has no regard for how this would impact my finances and my marriage. (also - I am a 62 year old disabled vet - certainly not strong enough to lift my father out of bed or carry him down the stairs). Please pray for me friends... I am at a complete loss. I don't think it's right for my mother to demand I jeopardize my future and my marriage so that she can stay in her house.
@oliviaschwickerath4082
2 жыл бұрын
My parents abuse me, but I still love them. But as soon as I move out, I ain’t ever talking to or seeing them again.
@donnasiracusa4700
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. I needed to hear this and listen to God! Love you Father Mike you are Great!
@stephaniedorothy6525
8 ай бұрын
Father Mike, have you spoken on Narcissism and Gas Lighting? My mother has both of those toxic traits. I desperately want a relationship with her, but every time I try to open up to her it goes south.
@KDRRR711
Жыл бұрын
What if they Stealing,lieing, backnite, and wishing death and harm on their own children and threatening harm to them. Out burt anger profanity. Destructive behavior. Hard to help a person that cant be corrected Or told anything
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
Today Fr Mike Our Lord has answered a prayer through you x
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
What does love like to a parent who has subjected me to emotional/spiritual abuse and denies ANY of it. Not just deny, but calls me a liar & mentally unstable because I have challenged her behaviour towards me. And has come up with a 10-point plan of how I can reflect and ask God to intervene in life. And bonus, what if said parent is seen by everyone as a very devout Catholic & daily Mass goer? I have refused to meet for the next 10wks to go through the 10-point plan and at this moment am barely able to be in their company.
@zuzuspetals8323
3 жыл бұрын
Seek peace. Look for the “Surrender Novena” and pray it. Do your best within your human limitations. Invite Our Lady to assist you. We are all wounded and imperfect. God understands this and is merciful. Know that you are loved. I will pray for you and your mom. Peace be with you. 🕊
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
@@zuzuspetals8323 Thank you so much x This is helpful. I'm looking for practical options. My emotional energy is completely depleted. Thank for your kindness 🙏
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
@@zuzuspetals8323 I have just found the Novena!! I am reading a book on Mary by Fr Ruotolo!!! I only discovered him a few weeks ago!!!! God absolutely wanted me on this channel today. God spoke to me through you today 🙏
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
@@zuzuspetals8323 You're in my prayers too xx God Bless x
@bethanyhenderson8686
3 жыл бұрын
Wow this was so needed. Thank you. This commandment has actually been thrown in mine and my siblings (all adults with our own children) faces all the time too. And this has brought a lot of healing and clarification. Please pray for me and my family, and all families who have parents like this. Its a huge cross!
@ht333
3 жыл бұрын
This was exactly on time, praise God. This showed me that I took the right decision regarding my elder brother. You just have to let them suffer because helping them will encourage their bad behaviour 🙁. It will be really difficult watching them tackle their issues on their own and we will feel like running to help them but we have to stay put with God and pray for them. It's called tough love. May God bless all of you. Jesus loves you all. ❤
@a_solo_yolo
3 жыл бұрын
Perfect timing 👌
@KhmerH20
3 жыл бұрын
wow...right on time!
@dymphnatherese2595
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Fr. Mike! How do we clearly avoid detraction? I've heard you speak on this a bit but I'd love to hear you go into it more. Thank you for all you do! God bless you!
@granmabern5283
3 жыл бұрын
Change the subject. Or, like Thumper’s Mother said, « If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. » These thoughts coming to you from a daughter who committed détraction far too many times, and has to do a lot of Penance if she wants to avoid Purgatory.... I learned eventually to only complain to someone who had the authority to actually help. I also eventually learned to politely object to what seemed wrong,nrather than stewing and spewing....
@avikfett1551
6 ай бұрын
My mother says terrible things about me to everyone she can. How am I suppose to love that?
@ritaboucher1374
3 жыл бұрын
"The Gift of Life".. I shared that with someone important to me for their parents. It seemed to help.
@kathrynsuch
3 жыл бұрын
Is that a book Rita?
@carolegyptienne
3 жыл бұрын
“Every vocation is to come follow Jesus and die” 😅😂 this is funny because it’s true 🤣
@paulgibbons2320
3 жыл бұрын
Love the Sinner hate the 'sin'.
@jonathanlowe599
3 жыл бұрын
It would be good to do a video on how the church views people with special needs. There are lots of videos on how to generally be a Catholic, but non that mention those with special needs. It'd be quite interesting to see. :)
@TheDragonrider70
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Fr. Mike for this video, I have been struggling about this for awhile. I have been beating myself up for not providing what my parents expected from me. My parents are good people but there is just this subtle but heavy pressure on me based on familial and cultural expectations. I know I have to talk with God more on this, but thank you for giving me comfort.
@rhondab8465
3 жыл бұрын
How do you love your difficult adult children? My sons have basically removed themselves from my life. I have tried all I know how to reconnect and build new bonds adult to adult and they do not respond. Now my oldest and his wife are expecting their first child, my first grandbaby. I am scared that I will not get to be Grandma or even know this gift from God. I pray fervently about this situation and know God has a plan. I still fear the loss of the blessing of grandchildren. I also fear that my son's being raised half their lives by a narcissistic Father, they are becoming like him and that a healthy relationship may not be possible. I love all of my children with all my heart and I have apologized for my mistakes, asked forgiveness, prayed and don't know what to do now. I am heartbroken.
@simple_naildesigns
3 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry, I will pray for your family 🙏🏽
@rhondab8465
3 жыл бұрын
@@simple_naildesigns thank you
@chocolate-eq6jn
3 жыл бұрын
I am also estranged from my adult child. She has chosen to remove me from her life, and that is her decision. It's not God's perfect will (never), but he has permitted it. It is hard to accept this heartbreaking situation, but this is our cross and we must carry it. God will bring good out of this situation, no matter how painful it is. Turn to him. Pray for your sons every day and entrust them totally and completely into the hands of God. It has been almost 4 years since I have seen my daughter, and even though I have been able to move on with my life, I pray for her every day. Only apologize for the things that you were truly responsible for. Remember the story of the prodigal son. The father accepted him back into their lives, BUT the son was was truly repentant. Many adults come back to their parents, but they are unable to see what part they played in the break up, and the parents take them back. It's called cheap grace. Be strong. You are still the parent, no matter how old your children are. That is your God given role. About your grandchildren...you are still engaging with your sons "by proxy", by checking up on their social media accounts. If they completely severed ties form you, they would have blocked you. I don't look at any of my daughter's social media accounts; it keeps me "engaged" and I can't move on with the healing process. Sadly, I would be indifferent towards any grandchildren that I may accidently learn about, since the bonds have been broken with my daughter. This is all the result of sin. Our Lady of Fatima said that the final battle would be about the family! Pray for your sons. If they want you to meet your grandchild, then they will let you know. And pray for those little ones, as well!
@rhondab8465
3 жыл бұрын
@@chocolate-eq6jn true and wise words, thank you! God bless you!
@simple_naildesigns
3 жыл бұрын
@@chocolate-eq6jn so sorry for all that you’re enduring. I’m in a similar situation but with my in laws. It’s not in our hands, but in Gods. I will pray for and your daughter. 🙏🏽
@anta3612
Жыл бұрын
Excellent!
@adamplatenik
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Father Schmitz, for your wise words. They bring light into my life and give me comfort. Please, pray for me.
@marinaonorato1553
3 жыл бұрын
I deeply struggle with this on a daily basis. My parents can be verbally abusive from time to time and I still live with them as a 24 year old. I struggle to know where to draw the line. I feel like I'm always sinning.
@elained9363
3 жыл бұрын
@Marina Onorato Drawing the line is with self. When I was 24 (now 54) I used to go out with the girls, and we had good times out at the clubs, but that gets old. Why did I do that probably b/c I wanted to escape being at home listening to my pop’s vulgar mouth aimed darts towards our mother. Now my my mother is alone. Our pop just passed from Covid. He used to say he’d out live us all (6) sibs and mama. Now it’s quiet and peaceful in my mom’s home. And he’s gone. Funny thing is if my siblings and I think about him, we remember the good part of him. And some of us forgave him. Cause when it comes down to it; we didn’t know what his real boyhood was like. We don’t know where that anger came from. And so Marina if you know you are sinning- stop ✋ take ahold of your life b/c you don’t want to drag unplanned children around. Live with yor parents with purpose like going to school and preparing to live on your own by 32. And above else build a relationship with God b/c He 💕 U the most. Your parents borrowed U, and We are on borrowed time. ☮️ sistah.
@lovelysweetheart1684
3 жыл бұрын
I know what you mean. It seems hard when a parent purposely provokes you, but don't fall for it. It can be hard when they upset you in the moment, but it helps to pretend like they're talking about someone else (like a stranger). I try to stay chill, but on a daily basis it can seem impossible, but just work on it a little day by day. I've started saying less and being as polite as possible no matter what she says. She starts ignoring me and giving the silent treatment or yelling at me, but I don't yell back. It could be that they want to drag you down with them or because their parents did the same thing to them.
@marinaonorato1553
3 жыл бұрын
@@lovelysweetheart1684 thank you this helps a lot. I have been trying to disengage as much as possible, although I'm not very good at it. The problem when I go silent is that my mom turns it around at me as disrespect. So it's not often I win when I'm trying to grow. But slowly I have been figuring out to just keep things to myself and praying. I don't really know what more to do but your words help a lot so thanks ☺️.
@lovelysweetheart1684
3 жыл бұрын
@@marinaonorato1553 Oh. That's a good idea by keeping it to yourself, I have to get better at biting back my tongue (like metaphorically). Hopefully they'll see the errors of their ways eventually. And for me at least, it was wayyyy worse when I was a kid, so that makes it a little reassuring that I've been through worse. The thing is tho that when I was a kid I'd be quiet and just take the abuse, but I kinda snapped and been angry about, it when I realized it wasn't my fault. I'm not as angry and upset about it anymore. but I'm still trying to work it out and stuff, I don't really have solutions either (just don't make them more mad). We're in this together. : )
@marinaonorato1553
3 жыл бұрын
@@lovelysweetheart1684 I'll be praying we both get better. Thanks again 😊. It's good to know I'm not in this alone. God bless.
@ThanksHermione
3 жыл бұрын
Years ago, a man in his 20s in my diocese gave a presentation about his faith journey. At one point he mentioned he wanted to discern a call to the priesthood, but his dad told him that he should delay doing that for a certain amount of time. He agreed to this. I thought, "You're legally an adult. You're no longer required to obey your parents anymore." I hope his vocation wasn't hijacked.
@mariannegreen9971
3 жыл бұрын
Any toxic person should be out of your life. Pray for them but have no contact.
@annakrol-banda1375
Жыл бұрын
Good subject but I see mine as more complex and (to be cont maybe)
@davidschick6951
2 жыл бұрын
This is one of the most important videos I have ever seen. Both of my parents acted (mom) or act (dad) in a dishonorable way. Yet I gave up a lot to honor them- including, unfortunately, the ability to produce grandchildren and keep the family going. But having just finished Sirach, I know that I must honor my father in his old age. Thank you for the encouragment, Fr. Schmitz.
@carolinpurayidom4570
Жыл бұрын
God bless you for doing the right thing
@blissfulanddivine3101
3 жыл бұрын
Wow. Just powerful
@bluedaffodil2023
3 ай бұрын
What do we do if our parents are abusive?
@deRose03
3 жыл бұрын
Colossians 3:21 "Fathers (parents), do not exasperate your children so they will not lose heart."
@michelleferrao8888
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Father Mike
@sebastienbourdeau4269
3 жыл бұрын
Is this some cookie magic or what? I've just moved back home and this is really timely advice.
@DeathRot2012
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this clarification, for many years my husband and I did not have a child since my parents, mainly my mother did not want me to have any children. Now I am finding it difficult to have any children, and I regret it so much. She and my brother both feel that we should not have any children. It still hurts at times, that I had listened so heartedly to what my mother has told me.
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