Thank you so much for making this series! I hope you make more videos on ways of changing one's own passive aggressive behaviour.
@SamanthaDrayfahl
8 ай бұрын
Thank you
@NeonCicada
2 жыл бұрын
Why should other people's passive aggressive emotional problems become ours to try and solve for them? I don't think it's our job to fix emotionally immature people. I think that's their job. If someone can't communicate in a mature way -- they aren't mature enough to participate in adult conversations or relationships.
@TaliShlafer
2 жыл бұрын
This is actually a really good question, and I’m glad you asked. Of course it depends on the context, who the person is, and where you are in your own journey. But my take (one that has served me very well) is this: Yes, there are plenty of people that will tell you that people who say passive aggressively things are toxic. They recommend ignoring their behavior, treating them like a kid throwing a fit, or shutting them down by “killing them with kindness.” That seems pretty patronizing. If you don’t care about the relationship or just need to get through the day without your coworker’s sarcasm bringing you down, feel free to take that advice. But I think there’s room in our world for a bit more compassion than that. After all, we’re dealing with our friends, partners, and family members here. We should at least TRY to come from a place of understanding before we start labeling them as malicious or carving them out of our lives. I am eternally grateful for the people who helped ME overcome this yucky communication habit.
@bluaurora8635
Жыл бұрын
@@TaliShlafer I completely agree, when I have been passive aggressive, I would have appreciated someone pointing it out to me and helping me through it.
@Valkyri3Z
Жыл бұрын
Honestly if I do not know or love that person that much there is no reason for me to invest that much into someone who behaves like this. Specially if I am intending to date someone and he she is behaving like that in the very beginning I would run.
@kittygomah
4 ай бұрын
I think people with passive aggressive sarcasm often try to be ,cool' they want to be popular and they don't care of other peoples feelings.
@sharonerhuchannel1223
9 ай бұрын
my neighbour gave a passive-aggressive comment on my achievement with an imperative sentence while others were impressed and appreciated my work. Then he got scolded by his wife with lots of explanations(sounds funny to me) and shut up afterwards. I would say this old man didn't know what was happening in the world, and couldn't respond well to his wife, only with a simple 'Ugh' as an answer. Other neighbours shut up and I didn't respond to it, because of his ageing problem. Forgive him, anyway.
@camronmurillo2426
8 ай бұрын
My passive aggression has been straining my relationship with my partner! How can I bring up these points of without seeming like I’m getting defensive and just passing blame off? I want them to know that I do it because I’m hurt too and I just need to be reassured that my feeling matter to them!
@zion367
2 жыл бұрын
I notice that at times when I was compassionate and understanding I was met with gaslighting and denial. The "it was just a joke" tactic. Can we couple this with boundaries? The times i asked them what was going on they respond with "nothing" and when I tell them, it seems like something bothers you... "well thats your perspective". How much more do you need to do with someone who is unwilling to be vulnerable? And how do I do that without allowing the other person to rudely abuse me with deflection, gaslighting and denial.
@TaliShlafer
2 жыл бұрын
I feel this. I also have someone in my life who just constantly puts up walls and is really hard to get through to, even when I come from a place of compassion and empathy. It’s really frustrating and a lot of times I end up throwing my arms up and exiting the situation because it feels futile. I’ve been reading a book called “Nonviolent communication.” I think the author would respond by saying an over abundance of patience and empathy will eventually let the other person know they can trust us and express their needs more honestly. I’m still working on this myself. For me, I just need to be mindful of when I’m at the end of my rope, so I know when to cut my losses and exit the conversation (rather than get swept up in frustration and making things more heated). It’s all a balance, and it’s all growing and learning over time. I think the best we can do is give what we’re capable of in this moment in time. I hope that helps
@zion367
2 жыл бұрын
@@TaliShlafer Yeah, I think compassion without boundaries becomes selfabuse. Often times I am so understanding and compassionate that it gives some people the idea that they can just walk all over me. A pretty crappy feeling if you ask me. There is also a part of me that does feel like it is not my job to teach others how to behave. Its my job to make sure I look out for myself and to love myself. From that place of love I respect others equally as myself, but to love myself also means to not enable toxic behavior. As you can tell I am still trying to find my balance. Thanks for your reply. Be blessed!
@jabisbad1
2 жыл бұрын
Wow. This comment captures precisely been burning inside of me. I’m in a relationship with someone who denies, gaslights, is passive aggressively sarcastic, amongst other things. I love this person. It just won’t work because she is unwilling to change. I struggle to break up because of some problem in my character. Even though I’m unhappy and know it won’t work.
@zion367
2 жыл бұрын
@@jabisbad1 I can not tell you what to do, but breaking up with my ex who also did those same things was the best choice ever. We can not love ourselves while being in a relationship and allowing abuse. We can not live the other person either. Love starts from within.
@zion367
2 ай бұрын
Today I have come back to this video and at this moment in my journey I have come to the realisation that by caretaking their emotions I am actually carrying an unever load of the relationship. I can adress it once and accompany my attempt to communicate with boundaries in order to also keep myself safe from abusive behaviour.
@artistswdyslexia354
9 ай бұрын
Thanks, im passive aggressive so this was helpful. I think i havent had people ask the right questions to make me feel like i can open up. But i also now realize im doing this. I hope i can get past it. It was nice to hear that you were able to get past it.
@princybansal808
Жыл бұрын
Love you speaking and the fact you really want to help !! ❤
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