It sounds silly but I recorded a video on my phone of me talking about my feelings and why I have made the decision to leave. After our breakup I would revisit that video and it helped me alot
@backwardzhatguy9953
3 жыл бұрын
Why hello!…
@javababa7269
3 жыл бұрын
That sounds like a great idea. I hope your doing ok
@the1hylander568
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I'm going to do that aswell. Preparing to breakup this Friday 💔
@user-lt3yb4fm6q
3 жыл бұрын
That's a great idea! Thanks for sharing
@relationguru3040
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/upqL1Zt4kKKcZoI
@MK_1Ultra
3 жыл бұрын
Its so difficult when you know you're going to be responsible for hurting someone you genuinely care about because they are good people. Whether you met someone else, just dont think you have the capacity for them in your life or whatever the issue is. When you know you will hurt them it hurts you but it has to be done.
@RunninChic620
2 жыл бұрын
Feelings change
@bluebellcrushedvelvet
2 жыл бұрын
Omg I feel so much what you just said!!
@rtjunior1622
Жыл бұрын
So true
@Duck72432
Жыл бұрын
This for me is worse than getting broken up with I can handle my own hurt , but having to hurt someone I care about and there’s no way out ..that sucks
@SandaliAriyaratne
8 ай бұрын
Yesss
@wasnae8675
5 жыл бұрын
"Don't give many reasons" is absolotuly amazing. People tend to focus on the weakest arguments. Thanks! Wish me good luck.
@funmifadele5245
4 жыл бұрын
How did it go for you ? cause I'm hoping to do same soon. I dropped my story below in a comment below. It's long but Its cause my story is actually complicated. I have been with him for 8+ years now, we met in the university and it was only by God's grace that I wasn't expelled when I got pregnant cause it was a private university and pregnancy by an unmarried female meant expulsion. I'm not sure but I think, that may have been where our problem started cause I remember he once told me before we had the baby, after having an unprotected sex one time, that if I got pregnant I would just miss a couple of months in the session bla bla bla... Eventhough I love my son so much now, It pained me that he didnt consider the possibility of me being expelled. I know I cud have taken care of myself by taking pills to avoid getting preg but I was young and maybe stupid too (A good stupid now though cause my baby is the best thing to happen to me). I stayed with his parents during the pregnancy as I couldn't tell my dad who would have stopped paying my fees and I wouldn't have graduated. Aside the pregnancy issue, My stay with his parents was a terrible experience as the only tolerable person in his family is his dad. I had no choice but to be patient so they could take care of my baby after i give birth and go back to sch. Also then i discovered he is a serial cheat, had alot of one night stands. Another issue i have with him is, I dont know how to put it, but he is not a very intelligent person and that turns me off.. I love a guy who is very smart and goal oriented.. Well to cut the long boring story short, I'm also not a saint as I started to have flings, but honestly it's cause I don't love him but he doesn't want to leave me. I have told him a number of times now that we need to take time away from each other but he always begs me and I cant stand to see him hurt so I keep staying. He also has this disgusting habit of installing spywares in my phone and then monitor my calls, movement and everything remotely. From this tools He has caught me a couple of time sexting and I honestly would hope he would leave me but insstead he would try to do better by giving me more money or buying me stuff. I no longer feel sexually attracted to him no matter how hard i try. It hurts me to hurt him but I'm so hurt myself being with him and now I have become a cheat cause I have sexual urges that he cant help me with. Finally, even if I decide to suppress my feeling and just stay, my family and friends dislikes him for his immature and insensitive way of talking to people (a trait eveyone in his family except his dad possess). I am so depressed.
@yamato3573
3 жыл бұрын
@@funmifadele5245 I just got slapped and mocked online for showing her proof that she cheated on me
@veganforever9703
9 ай бұрын
How did it go
@EllieJM
6 жыл бұрын
Im dreading breaking up with my boyfriend. I have a speech written and im so nervous....just hard to tell someone you care about that you dont think you are right for eachother
@devankmittal8311
4 жыл бұрын
If it's not too personal to ask, why did you want to break up if you both love each other? Have you broken up or are you both still together?
@augustaoliva9739
4 жыл бұрын
Ellie morris how did it go
@sophiab5260
4 жыл бұрын
@@devankmittal8311 Well caring about someone, being attached to someone, is not the same as being in love with them or even just attracted to them. These are clearly different things, I know by my own experience. Also she wrote that it's because they are not right for each other.
@gogypidge
4 жыл бұрын
@Devank Mittal - you love them but you just aren’t feeling it and you really want a bit of alone time
@jmaca.
4 жыл бұрын
Ellie Morris how was it?? X
@MyMEGAamazinglife1
7 жыл бұрын
I burst into tears because it's so fucking hard to do! I love him to bits but the relationship is way too much hard work and I know he doesn't love me as much as he pretends he does... he just doesn't want to be alone. He doesn't look after me or try to protect me. I need to look after myself...
@lukycawarra4282
7 жыл бұрын
This right here spoke to me so much.. I'm in what looks to be a breakup after one year. My guy does look after me and does protect me, which makes it harder. We're in a limbo, checking with each other every so often in the past month. I have no idea what to do...
@AnnaKayJulie
7 жыл бұрын
Luky Cawarra You guys check out the work of Byron Katie.
@rimdjeghdjegh1860
7 жыл бұрын
Luky Cawarra but why u want a break up?
@sylvia6474
7 жыл бұрын
OutNumbered Family so did U Break Up or you worked IT Out?
@girlinthesouth850
6 жыл бұрын
OutNumbered Family same
@joamaziah4800
6 жыл бұрын
When it comes to deciding whether you should leave a toxic relationship or not you gotta ask yourself do i want to die once from the breakup or die everyday staying with them.
@JennMartinello
3 жыл бұрын
WOW.
@enlaotrapuntadelmund
3 жыл бұрын
Boom
@its_outil7789
3 жыл бұрын
Wow that really got me thinking.
@jeannieakana808
3 жыл бұрын
Powerful!! It is true. This pain, over and over is so horrible.
@relationguru3040
3 жыл бұрын
kzitem.info/news/bejne/upqL1Zt4kKKcZoI
@rahmarae8001
3 жыл бұрын
I'm the one wanting to break up and it breaks my heart.
@pancakes4555
3 жыл бұрын
HOW COULD YOU?! YOU SAID THAT YOU COULDN'T TEXT ME BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS TOOK YOUR PHONE AND NOW YOU'RE COMMENTING ON KZitem?
@pancakes4555
3 жыл бұрын
THAT'S IT WE'RE OVER
@rahmarae8001
3 жыл бұрын
@@pancakes4555 lmao
@emgan
3 жыл бұрын
I'm in the same situation as you.
@rahmarae8001
3 жыл бұрын
@@emgan girl just end it, it will hurt for sometime then all you'll have is peace 💗 never ignore your intuition, I found out he wasn't worth a second of my precious time, and by cutting him off I made room for the right person for me!
@graveserpent
7 жыл бұрын
At some angles he looks like Daniel Radcliffe wtf why is Harry Potter giving me love advice
@-Oddish-
6 жыл бұрын
Arcanex dude I thought the same thing wondering if I was crazy
@Guy25096
4 жыл бұрын
Of all the things in this video this is the one you notice 😂
@hollyp3065
3 жыл бұрын
facts! but I would take dating advice from Daniel Radcliffe anyday...
@eelyssafischer
Жыл бұрын
I ENDED A LONG RELATIONSHIP ABOUT 4 MONTHS AGO AGTER GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH MUSELF FOR MONTHS.. AND SPECIFICALLY CAME BACK TO TELL YOU ALL THAT IT WILL WORK OUT!! Trust me sis, it is the most god awful painful thing you will experience. But I’m here to tell you that after 4 months I am the happiest and healthiest version of myself possible. You can do this!!!
@oliviaw.371
2 ай бұрын
when did you know it was time? please answer 😓
@di-egohumilde4515
2 ай бұрын
@@oliviaw.371Whenever you feel like being with them causes you more damage than breaking up
@bramilan
Ай бұрын
How do you get the courage?
@patriciahopey1384
3 жыл бұрын
After 20 years of marriage i told my husband I needed to be on my own. My strongest case was It was time.He agreed he wanted to be on his own. No anger .no accusation. Calm. I'm leaving not only the home, I'm leaving the province I've lived in for 55 years. An alcoholic, a real narcissist a man on a 40 year quest. I've let go of my past and look to my future. THAT is hope. 3 cheers from Canada
@teresadavis9557
2 жыл бұрын
Wow you’re so brave. I hope you’re living your best life ❤️
@bassgodgandhi6559
9 жыл бұрын
This is some solid advice Matt, looking forward to my next break up :)
@BerryBeautifulLife
9 жыл бұрын
lol
@Genericperson658
9 жыл бұрын
Facepalm
@palyesse
9 жыл бұрын
lmao! i love this comment
@Tadae323
9 жыл бұрын
Let it be before your girl sees this video ;)
@greeeneyes91
8 жыл бұрын
+Bass God Gandhi haha you're awesome :DD
@Olivias180
9 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you shared this right now. I am about to drive up to see my boyfriend of a year and a half and end things. He hasn't done anything wrong, and I love him, but I need to be alone right now. I'm so sad and conflicted but hearing your advice is comforting. It's not easy.
@MrWaffleOfficial
8 жыл бұрын
+LittleMissFitness how did it go? i feel like i should do the same with my gf. it's been a year almost now, but i feel like i just want te be on my own again.. and it also feels like we're getting in a long boring relation ship, like i had with my ex gf..
@Olivias180
8 жыл бұрын
+Boris Grifo I ended up calling him on the way drive up and telling him I wasn't going to make it and that I needed a break. 2 days later we agreed to end things. It hurt for about a week because I didn't have a really obvious "reason" why I wanted to end things. But looking back now 10 months later, I'm so glad I did. When you get that feeling that it's time to end things, listen to your gut. Bet of luck!
@Olivias180
8 жыл бұрын
+River Duran 💁 after the initial pain of having to be the bad guy and break up with him, I realized it was a good decision and I'm happy now. That's not that crazy right?
@ShaggyTheClown17
7 жыл бұрын
It probably happened again no doubt, and doubtful it'll be the last because many women have self acceptance issues and feel the false need to be accepted by multiple men to feel validated, you will likely build up a reputation if you haven't already and will never find a decent man who will accept it and not bump you off after a couple weeks, you get bored of guys after a while I'm sure men get bored of you.
@mattiethesurfer
6 жыл бұрын
mab sreymom Did you communicate any of this with him? Communicate with him how you are feeling about being “bored” or whatever it is you feel?
@Sunshine75616
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. You have addressed my biggest issue about breaking up. It's hard to admit, but I believe I am one who wants to be "the saint". I can't stand to see anyone hurt., especially when I feel responsible. You mentioned that that way of thinking is a bit narcissistic. I never looked at it that way before. Thank you for pointing that out.
@kristinehovemoen7888
2 жыл бұрын
Me too. I also have this "the saint" issue. Te Messia complex. And two times I have procrastinated the break up part, and gosh, it just makes everything so much worse; the fear of hurting the other person just builds up.. once You know that you know, you need to break up - dont pospont it, it is not healthy, and it just feed the unrealistic "saint" narraive with an indeed become narcissistic or self absorbed. I feel horrible for wasting my own and the other persons time.
@ikawn4975
2 жыл бұрын
@@kristinehovemoen7888 wow this is exactly what’s happening to me but today is the day. It’s going to suck but I know it’s for the better. Good luck 🤧
@ChocoIand
9 жыл бұрын
Timing is evil sometimes .. you meet the right guy in a totally wrong time and have to say your goodbyes then lots of guys shows up but you never can find anyone like that guy. And I always wonder why not that I am stuck wondering but I wonder why it happened this way? Or if I will ever meet someone that is just going to take his position in my heart .. why will I always love him the most? why he entered a place in my heart no one did before or after :/ .. love is a mystery sometimes.
@Star-vg7ix
5 жыл бұрын
This why I wish it would all end
@daniellamoreno3616
4 жыл бұрын
Yes been here as well.
@farwanqv
4 жыл бұрын
:( your comment made me remind something terrible.
@jammies6228
2 жыл бұрын
People change dude
@safiasaid1213
8 ай бұрын
Im breaking up with my toxic boyfriend today I needed this
@josephmeetstravel9762
7 жыл бұрын
It was the most difficult thing, but I had to break up with my fiancee a little over 6 months ago. We were together for 2 years, mostly long distance because I live in Japan and she lived in Texas. We would always make a trip to visit each other. She stayed for almost the whole summer before and I visited her family in Texas and asked for her hand. Everyday away was spent on the phone talking to her. But I just knew she wasn't the one after I proposed. We fought so much and I questioned our friendship sometimes. I realized that my feelings for her were gone when I came too. After she left from staying with me for a month in Japan, I called her and broke up with her. It was so difficult and yes she begged me back. I took this advice from the video and held my ground. I knew it was right for us both and she couldn't see that. After a week, I began to question if it was the right thing to do. I was feeling lonely. I would always think back to those reasons as to why I broke up with her and then I would keep on going strong with my decision. After a month, my attitude changed at work with my students and fellow cowokers. People began complimenting me on a positive attitude change. I had a glow about me and I seemed different and more passionate and fun people would tell me at work. No one had any idea I broke up with my ex. It showed me I made the right decision. I was happier. Every day I decided to move on and do different things. I am glad that I broke up with my ex even though I broke her heart or "ruined her year, and her dreams of getting married," as she put it. Her family hated me after that. It was a sacrifice for my happiness. I knew I did the right thing when I made the most difficult decision but feel way happier after doing it. Good luck ladies and gentlemen. Don't rob yourself of your own happiness. Nobody is in charge of your happiness but you.
@jxuann89
6 жыл бұрын
Joseph Meets Travel ur very brave and strong! Happiness is a good indicator/reminder that you made the right decision to walk a separate way.
@jillday1
6 жыл бұрын
this is awesome you realize this
@megan1950
6 жыл бұрын
I recently broke up with my fiance. Four and a half years together. It was only after the ring was on my finger I realized how much more commitment and sacrifice I had put in, and how much he took me for granted. He only responded to me if I cried, nagged, or made ultimatums. I don't like behaving that way, but if I ever tried to communicate as an adult he would either ignore me or respond indignantly, which was defensive. We had the same arguments over and over, despite calmly explaining my side, he could never explain his and we never got any of these arguments resolved. I realized that this behavior from him was, after four years we agreed marriage was the plan, indicative of someone who doesn't want to be married, isn't ready for marriage, refuses to address serious issues, and may never be ready to be married or be a reliable, supportive partner. We tried counseling at his suggestion, but he really wasn't trying to understand anything. So I had to walk away and start all over. Props to you for facing the frequent fights. Props to you that you were able to break it off without breaking down in front of your colleagues and students.
@Erizou90
5 жыл бұрын
I really needed that right now. Thank you so much! I hope you continue glowing and being happy, you brave and honest man ^^
@xoOhGoshiRockxo
4 жыл бұрын
Joseph Meets Travel omg is this my story???? That’s crazy. I never usually respond to comments but I had to. Also, almost 2 years. He proposed. Long distance, him in Algeria, me in jersey. We had several trips in between even a summer. But after getting engaged it has becoming so toxic. He’s more controlling and it’s horrible especially with long distance. I’m thinking of ending it but it’s so hard to do. This gave me confidence. I’m glad there is a similar story. Thank you
@mmommo10
Жыл бұрын
I'm a paralegal. I learned on the job when presenting your case to the Court, ONLY offer 2-3 of your strongest points to tell the initial story in the complaint.
@MrCrazyNinjadude
7 жыл бұрын
I am about to break up with someone for the first time in my life, and I wanted to say thank you for this great video.
@anewloveofficial9137
6 жыл бұрын
It's never easy to break up with someone but it's more painful than staying in a relationship where both of you are no longer happy. Just tell the truth because that's the only thing that will set you free.
@nikivanoppens
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, Matthew. I broke up last night with my boyfriend and I indeed kept my one reason and stayed firm. He asked for another chance again and again and I needed to repeat it so many times. It was really tough. I am sure it was the right choice, but I am also really grateful for your videos on youtube, because it really helps and it feels like I am listening to a really good friend.
@dominicusbenacus
2 жыл бұрын
What was your one reason?
@imeldataylor1440
8 жыл бұрын
This made cry a lot
@f.a3923
8 жыл бұрын
After watching this.. I know exactly what I should say tomorrow.
@LuisAguilar-jk7mn
7 жыл бұрын
how did it go?
@Bhaggy_
3 жыл бұрын
He chose violence
@shehanwarnakulasooriya9863
6 жыл бұрын
Ok thanks dude im going to do it today ☺pray for me .
@BASEDinMaine
6 жыл бұрын
Did you get it done? :)
@makenzielynch2132
5 жыл бұрын
shehan warnakulasooriya me too
@davidpeterson5930
5 жыл бұрын
How’d it go?
@chrisjorgji7786
5 жыл бұрын
Rest In Peace
@puffinruffin7851
5 жыл бұрын
@@chrisjorgji7786 lmao
@razzleysavannah432
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this, I’m about to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, and I am completely lost. I love him more than life itself, but we don’t work together. We have different views on a relationship, and that overall overrules the love. So thank you so much for this video:)
@samvortex2802
6 жыл бұрын
Good video, still don't know when or if I'm gonna tackle this task. After all the promises of being together forever and being together through it all, seems impossible to break up...
@thegreengirl85
3 жыл бұрын
How did you go, did you end up breaking up?
@ooolanthonyy
8 жыл бұрын
Or I could just post this on my facebook... Lol
@houdanour9290
8 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@JustineCarissa
8 жыл бұрын
Liz Reyes that was a good one lmaoooo
@ooolanthonyy
8 жыл бұрын
I broke up with him already BTW!
@barbiedollblond
4 жыл бұрын
I did this once I shouldn’t have 😂😂😂
@deheyyo332
Жыл бұрын
"be careful because when we get lonely, we can end up making the wrong decisions" This is me, fight for nothing for 2 years and touture myself, ending up losing myself, my happiness and my life. Stay strong.. you are not alone okay. Its easier said than done, but love yourself first, that is very important!
@katrinakaye7997
5 жыл бұрын
I'm breaking up with my boyfriend within the next few days. Thank you.
@devankmittal8311
4 жыл бұрын
Did you break up? btw why did you want to break up?
@farwanqv
4 жыл бұрын
What if the boyfriend see this comment before she break the news ? :)
@qulas23195
3 ай бұрын
how did it go?
@katrinakaye7997
3 ай бұрын
@@devankmittal8311 I think cause he stopped putting in the effort and started making excuses instead
@katrinakaye7997
3 ай бұрын
@@farwanqv LOL
@joy_villa
3 жыл бұрын
Just broke off a 9 month relationship because he’s not ready for marriage and kids. He’s fantastic, but our timing is off. Being kind is definitely a big part of it!
@itsbarclay9613
4 жыл бұрын
This is the 2nd or 3rd time since this video came out that I’ve (re)visited it and I just burst into tears when it ended. It’s horrible having to break up but just hearing you talk about it all gives me comfort. I know I’m doing the right thing in the right way. Tomorrow is going to suck for us both but I’m so thankful for your advice to minimise the pain. Wish me luck.
@viktormolleborn3146
Жыл бұрын
3 years later.. how did it go?
@itsbarclay9613
Жыл бұрын
@@viktormolleborn3146 it sucked man. Really sad with tears on both sides but it was done respectfully and helped both of us get through the next month or so of pain. I sat down with her at her place and then I could leave when I needed to and she had a safe place to stay. It’s hard to do but out of respect for the other person, doing it in the right way is the only way to do it.
@LoveLeighization
8 жыл бұрын
This is the best one on this subject that I've found. The rest I've watched have been redundant. I learned more here than the rest combined. Thank you!
@ashleyfontes3362
7 жыл бұрын
Had me in tears at the end. All the advice I found previously in one spot, plus support. Thanks x
@dagliocchibui
4 жыл бұрын
I feel guilty for breaking up with my boyfriend and I’m also trying to still Be liked by him. Knowing he’s suffering breaks my heart every day and we end up chatting. I know this is wrong and I should find the strength to not contact him 😞
@Steve_Buscemi_on_LSD
2 жыл бұрын
Man, I’ve struggled with this for awhile now and this video finally is giving me the courage to do it. We’ve grown apart but I feel really guilty, especially for our cats
@RareGem369
5 жыл бұрын
If you really love someone always try to work it out first. Relationships are about compromise and growing together past each other's mistakes. But if you've exhausted all avenues then by all means do what you feel you have to do but at least let the person down easy. Do it face to face not by txt and give them the closure they need. Having your heart broken by someone you love is by far THE WORST thing that will ever happen to you in life. Don't just leave them hangin like an idiot that meant nothing.
@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend
Жыл бұрын
That is such specific advice, though, that doesn't just blanket apply to every couple and break up. Saying you must try to work it out first and compromise is required is all good and well in theory, but many people don't come to this point unless they have already given all they have and either fallen out of love or realized the compromise hurts them too much. Presuming people don't try is not a good way to approach the discussion - it keeps people in unhealthy relationships out of guilt, and people who leave too quickly will not suddenly change that inner problem after reading that. I wouldn't want someone to stay with me out of "duty" because they haven't tried everything yet when their heart is already out the door.
@RareGem369
Жыл бұрын
@@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend You have a good point! But I’ve been on both sides of that sword and having to break someones heart also hurts! But go back and read my comment again and see where I said “after you’ve exhausted all avenues” Lol I’m only sayin this because 2 of my exes wanted to get back together, in fact they BEGGED me to take them back after they broke up with me because they realised that they made a mistake lol 😂
@veganforever9703
9 ай бұрын
I have tried but she works too much and her kids take too much time with one causing daily issues . I want peace and calm and have tried to make it better but she doesn't like to talk about It
@LD-xi1be
9 ай бұрын
How many times do you have to keep trying though just because you love someone...
@adhracabdul345
7 жыл бұрын
His advice really works for someone who still loves their significant other, great video 👍
@jalaj3798
8 жыл бұрын
the best advice ive ever heard on this subject. thank you so much for sharing.
@rogermenjivar1438
6 жыл бұрын
I love my partner but I just have so much on my plate: a relationship just makes it harder for me for so many reasons.
@frankhuzzer1680
6 жыл бұрын
roger menjivar same here bro
@desmondokafor8724
4 жыл бұрын
Same here Bro
@estercungu1283
5 жыл бұрын
Oh now I understand the part of the “ego”....I always made a huge mistake there...trying to be the good person and still be liked even though I was breaking up with someone! I’m sorry...I won’t do that mistake ever again...and I wondered why the other person called me “liar and deceitful”....maybe because I was always trying to be the good person! My bad...
@pamelast76
9 жыл бұрын
Thank you....now when my bf gets out of jail.....I can say “I am breaking up with you because you are abusive to me“
@hollyp3065
3 жыл бұрын
wow... I hope you broke up with him and are now safe and made the right decision for yourself
@twintipnation2758
Жыл бұрын
Watched this on Monday and it really helped me today. I'm heartbroken to have made this decision but at the same time some weight has been lifted. Good luck out there fellow humans.
@manahilfatima4883
4 жыл бұрын
I'm breaking up with my boyfriend in a few hours
@hadassahdavid258
4 жыл бұрын
Me too. Wheewww!
@johnatanquintero564
4 жыл бұрын
Who fucking care
@miarivel
8 жыл бұрын
Great advice. I thought starting a fight with someone would be easier, it would be easier for them to hate me and have them walk away but I love the advice in this video.
@sonofdevil666
6 жыл бұрын
it can be, BUT , as you do that they start to feel that they are losing you and try harder, until some point when they lose it, then relationship ended. Not really a good idea but it works.
@thatahamoment497
4 жыл бұрын
It works, if you want to destroy that person.... I had it done to me, and I was trying so much to fix things which of course didn't work until he finally admited that he wants to break up with me, but by that time I was already emotionally crippled... It took years to recover from that. I'd never do this to anybody...
@proverbs31teacher7
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this advice! I had no idea how to end this relationship I am in. I tried avoiding him, but I knew that was not fair and very cowardly. My heart is so sad and broken, but I know continuing this relationship will never work. Thanks a Million times over! Also, I am over 60!and I never broke up with anyone. I have always been on the other side, and I remember how I felt. 🙏🏽 Thank you 😢
@daliaunis6428
11 ай бұрын
How did u get the strength to do it I’ve been trying to break up with him for months now and I just can’t 😭
@flmf27
9 жыл бұрын
Matt, I just can't believe it! (sorry for my english). Last month I decided to break up with my boyfriend and searched for video that could help me doing this in the right way. And I didn't find anything that could fit, so I just imagined what would you say, and I followed it. Guess what? Now, while I'm watching this I'm so proud of myself because I did what you've recomended. Thanks! One more thing, you must come to Portugal :)
@kevinyampi
8 жыл бұрын
I am the one breaking up with my girlfriend from 3 months, it sucks major valls. She didnt do anything wrong, in fact she has been nothing but kind to me and she's a really nice person inside and outside, the problem is that I dont love her anymore... And I kept thinking that it was a "notgoodenough" reason for me to leave her, but there is just no love left for me to give and I am hurting for it. This video is really helpfull, felt like a TED Talk, I just wished that breakups weren't that hard to do.
@itazenin
7 жыл бұрын
im in the same situation my dude
@benalichante1269
6 жыл бұрын
Hey Dude! I can really relate, I feel like I'm in a similar situation. Do you regret breaking up now? how are things for you a year after?
@clarapuigdetorres-solanot8447
6 жыл бұрын
Well as a girl that has been dating a guy who she felt did not love her anymore for a long time before that made me feel so bad that I dumped him I have to say you did the right thing. Feeling unloved in your relationship can really mess your self esteem up and bring you a lot of unnecessary suffering. Maybe she is sad now but I am telling you now, on her behalf, thank you for being brave and honest and not prolonging her suffering.
@breakingthemasks
6 жыл бұрын
Clara Puig de Torres-Solanot ... Can you describe what made you feel unloved? I feel like this is an overlooked point... that it isn't merciful or kind to keep a relationship going "for the sake of the girl" when the love is gone. That breaking up can be the best course of action, still painful, but better than a slowly distancing relationship for no visible reason.
@clarapuigdetorres-solanot8447
6 жыл бұрын
breakingthemasks Well, it was a bunch of different things. He did not put as much effort as he used to in making plans with me, he stopped wanting my opinion on important matters, he almost never call to talk when we hadnt seen each other during the day, he stopped caring about taking care of how he looked for me when we were meeting, he even kissed me and made love to me differently, like he was doing me some kind of favor but not really feeling anything. Like I have almost forgotten what a good kiss felt like. But when asked of course it was either stress for some other thing or me imagining things, it had nothing to do with us. Anyways, all of this would make me feel like I have done something wrong to make him distance himself. Like I was not good enough. It made me question my intelligence, my beauty, my emotional maturity to the point I fell into a sad apathy about everything. So yeah. If you think you have stopped to love someone, please break up with them before they have had they self esteem completely shattered.
@sds6303
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah don’t gaslight yourself into going back especially if the relationship was toxic. A lot of people get lost in that euphoric recall & only remember the good times instead of the dysfunction.
@dchasehuneke
4 жыл бұрын
This is the most insightful, poignant, & powerful advice ever on how to fairly end a relationship.
@katiegorney4139
8 жыл бұрын
thank you so much for taking the time to make this video. also for being so understanding of both sides. this is advice I so desperately needed. thank you.
@morganeverley7360
7 жыл бұрын
Thanks my friend. I needed this. I am about to break up with my first love and I feel horrible but I know its for the best. He's about to get ready for college and he's stressed and I'm stressed and I just think I'm not ready for a relationship. I love him. I always will but......I kinda need to find myself now and so does he. I don't want him to worry about me during his studies and right now is just not the right time for either of us. Maybe in the future when we both matured more and solved our own problems but not now. I just hope he understands.....
@fanefox
9 жыл бұрын
Perfect timing. I have been avoiding this video since you put it up. I cried the entire time I watched this. Thanks for saying what I needed to hear. Now, I need to work up the courage and composure to break up with the most wonderful man I've ever dated.
@josephmeetstravel9762
8 жыл бұрын
how was it?
@fanefox
8 жыл бұрын
+Joseph Meets Travel Well, I had decided to wait until the weekend, but he beat me to it. He ended up breaking up with me. It was fine at first, but then, I really wanted to undo it and started to backslide. It took me a good while to get over him, but I really have raised my standards since meeting him. I feel like I'm really getting better at noticing signs and weeding through guys I shouldn't date.
@josephmeetstravel9762
8 жыл бұрын
+fanefox thanks for sharing. I'm going through a situation and might have to come to a conclusion soon. We are long distance most of the relationship for two years. I think I've made my decision.
@fanefox
8 жыл бұрын
+Joseph Meets Travel Good luck :)
@amalali529
7 жыл бұрын
Stay strong, be brave, and do what you know is the right thing to do
@SfanaSfana-uh1ud
10 ай бұрын
Today I made the decision to separate from someone who was dear to me and I am very afraid and I see that
@gracieofgod8899
2 жыл бұрын
I had my two fundamental reasons and meant to stick to them, but each time my partner tried to justify his behavior and I called him out, I effectively stacked a secondary reason for the break up. I felt bad for this because I never intended to lay out all our problems at once. What was helpful is that knowing my fundamental reasons helped me not to backslide. I was able to hold firm to the break up since he only ever tried to remedy my secondary concerns, not our fundamental problems.
@kelseeledford9117
7 жыл бұрын
Is no physical intimacy a fundamental reason?
@whatsupbudbud
4 жыл бұрын
Depends. I just split after a 3 year long relationship and for a long time now intimacy was next to none from me due to the intermittent psychological warfare she was channeling towards me. By your logic she would have a solid reason to dump me, but if you count in what prompted this diminishment of affection, probably not. That being said, I do believe that if you completely mismatch in regards to intimacy with your partner and this is not just a symptom of something else, it is morally excusable (and advisable) to end it.
@A-list
4 жыл бұрын
No physical intimacy is not a romantic relationship to begin with.
@devankmittal8311
4 жыл бұрын
Yes, if but if you have consulted with a Councillor first.
@asdf546
4 жыл бұрын
If no physical intimacy is a reason that is making you unhappy then it is a fundamental reason. Being unhappy at all is a fundamental reason, because you deserve to find happiness.
@alexandertodd9611
4 жыл бұрын
Yes - keep it simple.
@σαυρακατος
Ай бұрын
I feel so weak needing these kind of videos.
@divyaism007
16 күн бұрын
Don’t be. A little help from the outside doesn’t hurt.
@cyn5962
15 күн бұрын
You're not weak, you have found the strength to find a way solve a problem. Trying to improve oneself is never a weakness.
@lydiakigalatsi2114
9 жыл бұрын
I am 16 and obviously don't need that serious advices but I always admired your videos and everything you say because you find the deepest cause of people's behaviour...And I love how you use psychology to express the thoughts of both men and women. You are awesome!!
@SadPerson-gr6qh
11 ай бұрын
I think “I dont want this.” is enough. Than just walk away and leave Nothing they can reach you over.
@K4113B4113
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you Matthew. This video helped me tremendously. First time I tried breaking up with her, I was trying to be the good guy and I had a muddy list of reasons that she picked apart and tried to convince me it wasn't a problem. And when she wrote me the next day, tugging at my heartstrings I ended up getting back together with her. I dismantled my own weak arguments and convinced myself it could work and I only saw the good things and all that just like you said. It didn't work out (duhh!). So I broke up with her now and had only two fundemental reasons, any of which would have been enough on their own. I didn't try to be the good guy, instead I just said it like it was, removing any hope for a future while still being kind. It went over so much better this time. Thank you!
@sundaySEC
8 ай бұрын
I finally did it, thanks man.
@Gaarafan96
8 жыл бұрын
I need help, I found out that my boyfriend was talking to girls on Facebook, getting sexy pictures, and cheated on me. I'm trying to break up with him but I don't want to crawl back to him cause I've done it so many times cause I'm so attached even though he's hurt me so many times. I dunno what to do. I love him but I can't do this anymore.
@captainchumbuwumba5835
8 жыл бұрын
im no expert but you can get pieces of paper and write the negative things on why you broked up with him and put them somwhere (box) so when you feel like you want to go back read the reasons why you left in the first place
@Gaarafan96
8 жыл бұрын
+Chumbuwumba me thanks, that's actually a really good idea and I hope it works. Thank you so much.
@lunarsugar
7 жыл бұрын
Gaarafan96 Check out the Thrive After Abuse channel :)
@LuisAguilar-jk7mn
7 жыл бұрын
you got strong reasons to break up there, you sexy tho
@kesprrr9271
7 жыл бұрын
Have y’all broken up yet?!
@abstractmistique
5 жыл бұрын
I came across this video one hour after I broke up with my boyfriend who I've been with for the last 9 months...I tried to break up several times but he always changed my mind. The thing is we did not talk enough about the things that matter, things that frustrated us about one another and only had such conversations when we were on the brink of ending the relationship. We are different in terms of education, life aspirations and so on and I thought we are not compatible as individuals plus my family isn't showing support because they think I deserve something better...an equal...I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I feel helpless and I partly regret my decision and I want to be reassured it was the right thing to.
@cherriefrost2316
6 жыл бұрын
I'm single why am I watching this :/
@TyBankslive
6 жыл бұрын
ammieex007 Hi
@tobias7517
4 жыл бұрын
Are u breaking up with yourself :o
@sheekadaDahab
4 жыл бұрын
Future break up maybe 😂😂😂
@salmaal-naji5453
4 жыл бұрын
for science
@melricho6934
3 жыл бұрын
LOL mood
@SusyV702
2 ай бұрын
We’re love eachother but I left my hometown, family and life for love. Even though my kids are grown I’m against my values. He has younger kids and can’t move for me. I’m choosing to leave but the guilt and pain is hard.
@dinonuggies1048
3 жыл бұрын
he didn’t do anything wrong.. I just don’t love him anymore.
@krashii
2 жыл бұрын
me too
@particletheory8776
2 ай бұрын
For me the fundamental point is her ex, which is still in the background . I loved her more than anything else but Today at the dawn of the sun i will respectfully breakup with her. It’s necessary for my mental peace.
@smoothlibratalk7636
9 жыл бұрын
I promise you just spoke the gospel I mean dead on. I have to do this and I will use these pointers.
@lunchboxnoke
3 жыл бұрын
when i’ve tried to breakup with them before and they disregarded it, this relationship is so toxic i hate it
@linmeco
4 ай бұрын
😢 I want to know how should be the treatment after.. “silent treatment”, ?block the person immediately so the person will have contact cero? How painful is in these days what comes next 😭
@tamaleofa6836
6 жыл бұрын
This is a REAL eye opener!! I’ve come to realise that I need to find love in myself FIRST before I need to find love in someone else..that’s what I’ve found out later on in my relationship. I noticed that I’ve really rushed things in the relationship that I’m currently in just so I could fill in this empty hole inside but overtime it still feels like I have the same empty feeling!! My partner is an ANGEL!! But she does not deserve this kind of relationship where it’s only one sided...pls help?? Any advice on what I should do or say to her when I have the guts to tell her???
@stanceswitch6419
4 жыл бұрын
We're you able to tell her? I'm in a similar situation
@Melis55a
Жыл бұрын
I strongly recommend blocking people after. I've been pulled back in and out and played my heart strings like Jimmi Hendrix. I didn't block them bc I wanted to be nice but like he said that time is over.
@scottynespas
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Matthew. This video helped me so much with a break up. I am a very introverted person and your steps really made it easier.
@markmaz-sk7su
Жыл бұрын
I am gonna breakup with my GF for 3 year old relationship today. It has taken everything in me to come up to this decision since, she is in madly in love with me and I also deeply care for her but not in a romantic way anymore. Wish me luck.
@37freeark
9 жыл бұрын
Matthew you're just amazing, you don't know how much you're helping me right now.
@TheGhost-lm1xp
2 жыл бұрын
My bf did the opposite of everything in this video.
@dancekizomba8538
9 жыл бұрын
Another great advice from Matthew! Stand for your opinion and really stick to your main reason if you want the person you are breaking up with to really understand you and accept it. This is true in love as well as in professional arguments. Thank you, Matthew!
@StormyNorm
Ай бұрын
I’m experiencing that now! Breaking up with someone you deeply love is the hardest and most painful thing. Staying true to oneself is paramount no matter how painful a situation.
@lifeflixx
7 жыл бұрын
answered evrything that was spinning in my head thank you so much
@ameena11
Жыл бұрын
But this so soooooo toxic man. I mean I need to talk to about it. He is ssoooooo toxic that he wants everything to be HIS way only. He puts conditions on being with me. If I do this then it will be carried out only and when I agreed to eveyrthing but not on a single thing for a reason he first left me agreed on it. And then keep coming back again and again being more toxic every time he came back I have given him so many chances he is not moving on, not being and let me being happy in the relationship he wants to be insisting on his things and still I am the one who needs to be patient and kind and considered to be breaking his heart. What about the trauma and abuse he has been giving me omg! I have just experienced the best turning into the worst!
@bigyeedhaw
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this. I'm breaking up with someone I've been with for four months. We met on the Internet and have had video chats and they're someone who was a dear friend before we started dating. The hardest part is, they're still in love with me but for me... They've turned into my best friend again with just the occasional I love you thrown in. I'm not really feeling the connection anymore. Ive been putting this off for a week now, just trying to see if I could find something still there and I can't. I tried and some part of me still thinks things, in some other universe, or at some other time, would have worked out. I wish they had, but... Today will have marked a week, so it's time. I feel so bad for having led them on for this week and not having gotten it done sooner. I've found my fundamental reason and I'm going to stick with it. This advice helped so much, thank you.
@TFrancis-ev1lo
2 ай бұрын
Just not interested anymore and not much in common trying to break away from this person looking to meet other people who i have something in common with
@nicolennasharp2545
5 жыл бұрын
This is the most helpful advice I think you've ever given. I wish I watched this video before every breakup. Thank you ❤️
@amandaw6102
7 ай бұрын
Thank you this helps I am about to break up with my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years..
@ZooksZounds
Жыл бұрын
I have never genuinely felt a positive influence that gave me strength. I felt your encouragement at the end of your message and it really made be feel that I will be ok. Mahalo, Matthew.
@deanambrose7990
Жыл бұрын
Y ur here kids 😂😂
@pixelchallengeslak2450
3 жыл бұрын
Im glad im not the only one struggling to break up with someone. I just worry it makes it awkward between us in school and ruin school life for me
@ashleyhonore6667
3 жыл бұрын
So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years bouta be 4 in March anddd I’m not feeling it anymore honestly I lost feelings I’ve been with him since senior yr I was 18 n around that time I was desperate for a boyfriend then he came he was always used (n still does) be rude to me put me down call me out my name n I’ve never really paid attention to it. Now I’m 22 I live with him n feel like that this was the worst mistake I’m constantly stressed n frustrated n I wanna go about without him I don’t need him he needs me financially. I really need help cuz I do have trouble speaking up n I wanna go to school n be happy n just learn bout myself more. I’ve been waiting for the right time but idk when. These are some good advice but I need more. ( first breakup)
@max-3158
3 жыл бұрын
How did it go
@fayedamluji7787
6 жыл бұрын
Wish me luck
@justenfinch5911
2 жыл бұрын
I wish my ex would have seen this prior to breaking it off (over the phone mind you). She gave me several reasons, all things we discussed months before and weren't issues and most of them were very superficial. She raised her voice and yelled at me a few times and even spoke down to me to try and belittle me. So, now I'm not only dealing with the actual breakup, I'm also dealing with the fact that somebody I loved and wanted to spend my life actually lead me on throughout the relationship and ended it the most hurtful and disrespectful way possible. I look back on the relationship and can't help but think I fell in love with a person that didn't exist. That's a lot to unpack.
@panampace
Жыл бұрын
It is extremely hard for me to not try to be "the good guy" in my breakup. The person I'm breaking up with has no other friends to talk to and begs and begs and begs for more of my attention. This, coupled with my trait of being a fixer (that I recently realized about myself), has created a really toxic scenario with more pain than it should have.
@willisdriftsyt
Жыл бұрын
I'm struggling with the same problem right now, rough situation but I just genuinely tried several times to fix it, but it ends up never working out.
@nghtblccd
Жыл бұрын
Same, I'm trying to break up with my boyfriend, but he has no one as support except me. I feel like if I break up I'm gonna send him spiraling into depression. He already says I'm like his medicine and he depends on me. I do like him, he is a good person, how am I supposed to break up and break his heart??
@normalgarlicbreadtm2854
Жыл бұрын
@@nghtblccd we as people cant be someones medicine thats the issue, its completely normal to feel overwhelmed by his expectetions and its not fair on you for him to place those expectations
@nghtblccd
Жыл бұрын
@@normalgarlicbreadtm2854 my therapist says the same... I will break up and have to remember that it's not my responsibility to make sure that he is ok
@normalgarlicbreadtm2854
Жыл бұрын
@@nghtblccd it will be hard and it might make you feel guilty but its not your fault, its never our fault for thinking about ourselves They might make you feel guilty saying they need you but thats just being selfish in a way
@rafqel
Жыл бұрын
If you know someday you might breakup with someone just don't enter a relationship. It's simple. Why would you get into a relationship if you think there's 1% of chance to breakup with them? Like, stop wasting the other person's time. Don't enter into the relationship in the first place if you don't know what you want! Stop being passive towards life and decide what you want once and for all.
@eldelchristianto
7 жыл бұрын
Doesnt work, i got slapped on my face.
@terryhendrickson6007
5 жыл бұрын
That is all full you did the right thing.
@adamcahill1929
6 ай бұрын
I needed this video so much right now. Thank you.
@judymollah532
5 жыл бұрын
I need to do this by end of this week..hardest shit ever
@angelawhite7418
Жыл бұрын
I've watched this video over and over for a few months....I've been having the hardest time with breaking up with my boyfriend of 18 months. He's been so super kind to me, but I am not the one for him. We don't mesh......I just don't want to hurt him. 😔 but it must be done because I'm wasting his time and mine.
@kimberlypiedra3217
6 жыл бұрын
Excellent timing for me. I did all the opposite!
@butterflyconnie8479
4 жыл бұрын
Can l just leave quietly, without saying anything, just walk away day by day like less text n no text at the end , or not planning future... isn't it ok ?
@dachater1
4 жыл бұрын
No that won’t be fair to your partner. They will pick up the rejection and feel confused. Have integrity and speak face to face.
@areyouforreal1233
6 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say to anyone that is going through this right now that after watching Matthews videos i was able to deal with a break up in a totally different way that i myself never thought i was capable of doing....i never thought i could walk away from somebody i still loved as all my other relationships the love died at the point of breaking up so it was easier. But this guy was so different...he was my first ever boyfriend at school and we got together 20 years later. I really thought i had found my happy ending...l loved him so much and i still love him now. But he was not committing, constanly breaking up with me, always blaming me for the problems etc. So i knew the next time he broke up with me and deleted me off social platforms that i couldn't go on in this limbo. I was always the one running to him...crying...sitting outside his house...but one day it just clicked and i realised i had to break the cycle. He did make contact and told me he missed me....but what he wasnt banking on was me getting strong in the time he was away...not sat at home crying. I miss him and think about him all the time but at the same time i am so much stronger as a person. I started to do things everyday that i wouldnt do before. I started doing things for myself. And i now believe Matthew is right...there is no such thing as a soul mate...there are so many people you could meet in a lifetime that you will connect with again. Let your heart heal first xx
@just_a_light
3 жыл бұрын
I am emotionally unavailable.
@hiphopy1000
9 жыл бұрын
this was a really good piece od advice. thank you. my girlfriend deceived me. she is devious. she lied to me about several guyfriends that she got out with and i didn't know about his. I just found out about it. one of them tryed to kiss her but i can't be sure if she didn't want that to happen. i don't think she is loyal to me. i don't think she respectes me. she uses to have a lot of guyfriends she talks with and always tells me i have nothing to be concerned about... if she loved me and respected me she wouldn't have gone out with them in the first place and lie to me about it. i know that because i love her and i would never do things to my loved ones that would hurt their feeling or make them question my love for them... i tryed to break up with her yesterday, but she came to my house and cryed for 2 hours straight. She cut herself in my bathroom... then she told me she would commit suicide if i don't take her back. and she texted me all kinds of things about killing herself througout the day. i don't know what to do. i have forgiven her and i decided to give her one more chance because i am afraid that she might hurt herself... I am so confused right now. She hurt me a lot when she did those things behind my back... Even though I gave her a second chance yesterday I don't really believe that things are going to work this time. What should I do? Please help me. I really don't know what I should do....
@heathermimiwahlquist5587
9 жыл бұрын
+Doru Cucuietu You call: THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE @ 1-800-273-8255 and tell them your story. They will know what to do. ALWAYS take a suicide threat seriously. Yes, she could be bullying you (yes bullying) to stay, but, tell her parents, tell her teacher, after all -you do love her. Safety first, dear Doru. DO NOT brush it off. ACT. Much love to you
@thebreeziestj3136
8 жыл бұрын
I'm going through something similar with my boyfriend/father of my child. He loves me so much and also threatened suicide, and cut his wrists. I love him so much, but he didn't always treat,me how I deserved and needs to grow up a lot more. Anyway just let her know you still value her as a person and her life, but you are too hurt to continue giving %100 in the relationship. Be there for her if she needs it, BUT you also need to move on and offer the suicide prevention hotline
@TheNewRiflemanBob
3 жыл бұрын
What if the fundamental reason is that they got fat?
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