I mentioned a summary of five factors in the video that determine the outcome of divorce for children. Here you go: drpauljenkins.com/five-factors/ DrPaul
@willieg1757
6 жыл бұрын
I have a question. The mother of my child passed away and I have to get custody from her grandmother..me and the mom wasn't married and I'm knowned to be in my child's life... How can I prepare myself for court.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Willie, you're on the right track by watching these videos. Make sure you keep the best interest of your child in mind, and do what you can to minimize the conflict. Get some coaching and professional legal advice too. There's a few other videos on this channel you might want to check out related to custody issues. DrPaul
@shakilatasweer3323
5 жыл бұрын
My ex-husband beated up my son. I applied for custody. Children don't want to go back and im the mother and they want to stay with me. Will judge listen to my children???
@Darkatlas_23
5 жыл бұрын
I have a quick question, what should I do with a criminal case and restraining order is filed before a divorce
@fox12ful
5 жыл бұрын
I have a question, and thanks for the video it was very insightful.Since my son was born i've had him every other weekend and a few hours tues and Thursdays, he's 10 years old now and the past 6 years ive had a stable job and have a lifestyle that can include my son about half the time 50/50. Its something i've been thinking about a lot lately and believe that both of us having him half the time is what's best for our son and me as a father. When I've asked the other party about it over the years, IM always told it's not what's best for the child and it doesn't work for their schedule or their family,( She's remarried) Me as a father would love the opportunity to be there for my son during mornings he's gotta go to school or immediately after to talk about his day, or in the past while, my son has had behavioral problems at his mothers home, things i haven't yet witnessed because, im not around enough or considered a disciplinary figure to my son maybe. sorry for the long paragraph, my question is , what does the judge expect from the father, when he believes 50/50 is right for the child? i believe in my case having him spend half the time with me on a regular basis might help his behavioral problems or at least i can witness them, and help him more in the moment.
@Shadow-fz4ev
5 жыл бұрын
What if your ex is a lying narcissist and so nobody believes what you have to say now because of them...?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
The life you live will show their comments are not accurate, LifeAsShadow, but it may take some time. Don't let their behavior define how you live.
@Amaris_flowers
3 жыл бұрын
This is EXACTLY what I am going through right now! He has been manipulating my closest family members to try to convince the SW of all the bullshit he feeds everyone. I am so frustrated, disappointed and drained.
@djdigitaldivergence6937
3 жыл бұрын
I am going through this as well with custody. The judge figured it out after 2 1/2 years of everything being my fault etc. Our Judge told my ex that she hAs figured Her out. I had the court interview my oldest daughter. I figured if no one wanted to. Listen to what I had to say maybe they would listen to what really happened from my 10 year old. The judge did and it was a game changer on my behalf.
@kristinamartin7056
2 жыл бұрын
How much time has to pass inorder for the court to see the truth?
@Kracken11111
5 жыл бұрын
Every time I try to use love, my ex partner sees it as a weakness & attack me. For my kids sake, I’m trying really hard to not take the bait & it’s like swallowing bricks... This is a rough ride...
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
It is tough when we aren't on the same page, Sam Lawrence. Parenting can be rough at times, but focus on the wonderful times. Thanks for watching.
@NoName-rl3fh
4 жыл бұрын
This.
@karimadigital8875
4 жыл бұрын
I feel you Cara
@juansariles
4 жыл бұрын
I understand I'm going through it right now with my ex
@fionam3735
5 жыл бұрын
Narcissists love conflict. He couldn’t care less how it effects our daughter it gives him the perfect supply. Yes he talks a great game but his actions tell a different story.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, we don't all have the best motives, GraceKelly. You have learned this firsthand. Thank you for being there for your child, no matter what and even if.
@pamelapap
5 жыл бұрын
Record everything. Keep communication thru text to display to the judge his narc tendencies. Get your children into therapy. Always keep your cool with the narc. Go into therapy yourself. When dealing with the narc in front of a judge have your lawyer ask “do you think/feel it’s important that both parents are important to a child’s life? Narc will build himself up. Then have the lawyer say “isn’t it true that you don’t let Grace talk to your daughter the night you have her?” See you give them something to build them up then give the judge the truth. Always stick to evidence to show the abuse.
@lynn4460
4 жыл бұрын
Non custodial mother's day is October 28th!
@RupyAvaani
4 жыл бұрын
Grace Kelly omg this is what is happing to me right now 😔😔😔😔😔💯
@lukemiles1711
4 жыл бұрын
Same goes for me the other way around. And I'm a man, so am bound to lose to this narcissist in court.
@chrisfree8309
3 жыл бұрын
I'm in a situation where I love my wife and have absolutely no animosity towards her, but she wants to utterly destroy me. I wish she would just be civil and we could go through our divorce in a peaceful manner.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Chris Free, sounds like she is hurting and acting out. I wish you the best.
@befree9579
2 жыл бұрын
When a women want's war and not peace prepare urself Chris. Spend time on google / utube and get best lawyer.
@KB-yq6hq
2 жыл бұрын
My ex bf is doing that to me I wish he’d just be civil it’s only hurting the children!! 😓
@buttermonkey33
7 ай бұрын
Cov narcs will say this sometimes. Not you but they do because they put it on the mother via gas lighting and chaos and psychological abuse. A cov narc abuses the mom and she needs to protect her baby at all costs because if thinks ok to abuse the mom and got arrested, what will he do to the baby in the future?
@BleddyBear81
5 жыл бұрын
How to win: be mom.
@Knittingmylifeaway
5 жыл бұрын
That's right. Be mom. Take them to the doctor. Keep track of what's going on at school. Be available emotionally to the child... listen to them talk about school and friends etc. Pay for stuff. Teach them, take care of them, do what you need to do to provide all their needs. Dads can do this too.
@cheleftb
5 жыл бұрын
Truth thank u
@k.b.s4703
5 жыл бұрын
@@Knittingmylifeaway exactly. Sadly women are more nurturing and care more for the children. Naturally. Theres witches out there but the majority are nurturing
@justiceforourkidsorganizat8436
5 жыл бұрын
@@k.b.s4703 check out my videos. I'm in a custody nightmare kzitem.info/news/bejne/x4yMnJNsnqxljWk
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Daniel Rice, mom's don't win 100% of the time. The majority, yes, but I have seen fathers awarded custody also.
@Synthalog
3 жыл бұрын
This is a big business under the "In The Best Interest of the Children" tagline.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Synthalog, I don't think it was intended to be that way, but I can see how it has evolved.
@hiaslayer
3 жыл бұрын
“The state must declare the children to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of Liberty and almost any deprivation” - Adolf Hitler It was exactly intended like that….
@happyonetoo9850
5 жыл бұрын
I think what he is trying to say is,...to show love towards the other parent,...(don't have to feel it) ...for example,...in court or in front of lawyers ,say things like I use to love her/him, care for her/him,...I trusted her/him,...though they themselves taught me to do otherwise... They are a good parent,...though I am concerned with ...their lies or games or whatever they do. I am concerned with some of the things our child says that (the other parent has said) I am concerned with how the other parent seems to break signed agreements at will, as it doesn't gave the child a solid base. Show love first,..then....
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Yes, Happyone too. Show love and state your feelings.
@moriahjoi
4 жыл бұрын
This is something so twisted in our courts! We're told to let go of the past, that the judge has heard it all so doesnt care, move on, and choose love. That's how these kids end up abused or dead. Me putting my kids best interest first includes protecting them! I have full custody with supervised visitation for dad because I didn't stop fighting for what my kids deserve.. and that's my love and safety!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Hansen Home, each case is individual, this is general advice. There are always exceptions.
@garnetandgold07
2 жыл бұрын
You are 💯% correct! Most courts treat children (even some as old as 17) as though they are mere property with absolutely no right to feel safe in the home. MANY parents have fought valiantly to protect their children from physical, emotional and sexual abuse only to have the courts and evaluators accuse them of "false allegations", "Parental Alienation Syndrome" and being an "unfriendly parent". Many courts give liberal, unsupervised visits to the abusive parent and some even award full custody. The children end up dead, either by suicide or at the hands of their abusive parent, or traumatized for a lifetime. I went through 17 years of pure hell trying to protect my daughter. It wasn't until she aged out (18) and filed a restraining order against him that things turned around. Her dad took it all the way to trial, was finally found guilty and she was awarded her restraining order. Imagine being forced to go to trial and get an OOP against your own parent just to finally feel safe! Should have never gotten that far. 5 years if trauma therapy and a lifetime of looking over her shoulder. All because nobody would listen to, validate, believe or care for her "best interests". Totally disgusting! Glad you were able to protect your children. Most parents aren't that lucky. Blessings to you.
@marlacarlson2586
2 жыл бұрын
I agree the Courts are a concern. Good job Mama Bear! Keep protecting the Baby Bears.
@MichaelBrown-lw5zh
6 жыл бұрын
The advice he's giving, should be given to the judge. I going through a simple separation, but it was the judge that chose to pick on parent, and destroy the other one, while at the same time raking in the title 4 funding. It's th corrupt judges that should be addressed. If you're not talking about that, you're not saying shyt!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Michael Brown, sorry that you have had a bad experience.
@RushLoftis
5 жыл бұрын
Just earlier this week the divorce and child custody case I was involved in finally ended. I followed the information from your videos to a T I believe and boy are you ever right. I got exactly what I was trying to get it which is 50-50 custody and everything works out great. My ex-wife just tried to vilify me the whole time and say I was a horrible dad and all sorts of things. But I just kept my chin up and followed all the advice from your videos about not being that guy who just villainizes the other parent and you are right. Your information works! I’m so glad I found your videos thank you so much for doing them! My daughter and I get so much time together now I’m so happy. Thank you so much!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Rush Loftis, thank you for letting me know. Happy for you and your daughter and the experiences waiting to happen together.
@jessemedina4482
2 жыл бұрын
I'm genuinely really happy for you.. and your story gives me some hope as I prepare for this upcoming court battle in a couple weeks. Thanks for sharing it.
@christelc2783
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for reminding us about choosing love :-) Unfortunately when I spoke like that to the social worker, she took it as a sign of weakness, almost perceived as the kind of mother who put her husband before her kids, and they failed to understand that I was trying to keep the peace in order to keep my children emotionally safe. I was very proactive but I also had to use wisdom at the same time. Today I have taken the matter to court, and hopefully cafcass and the judge will see through it, I will be representing myself and he will probably have his solicitor but it's never easy to fight against a narcissist :-(
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Christel .O, communication can be difficult, when one person takes what we say in a way that we did not mean it. This is why it is great to clarify and tell her exactly what you mean. Good luck in court.
@sondranewhouse2850
Жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV 😊
@lisakaplan9433
4 жыл бұрын
I am so happy I pursued seeking full custody. It was one of the scariest moments I thought I would never get through but I kept pushing and thankfully my guardian angel helped and the court saw. It took me so many years of dealing with a self centered "father" feeling entitled that because he was blood and on the birth certificate that he can be a whenever father. I always tried to encourage a relationship and avoid the court but unfortunately it could not be done. Mama bear had enough💪 I love my girl and would do it all over again. Good luck to all the Moms, Dads and anyone going through this and that truely deserve to protect their rights for their cub(s).
@vanessarosas728
4 жыл бұрын
Can you pls tell me the process you had to go through
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Lisa Kaplan, thank you for supporting all parents who love their children. And thanks for being at Live On Purpose TV.
@lisakaplan9433
4 жыл бұрын
@@vanessarosas728 I petitioned full custody with vistation through the court on my own. Unless they're crazy & you don't feel comfortable unsupervised, having vistation is important. They don't want to alienate the parent. He got served by a sheriff😀 we had a court date set up. I went in with no lawyer but I did my homework prior. I would definitely seek a legal advice and you can do so for free as a consultation. The first meeting is with a mediator they make no decisons. My Daughter at the time was 7 so she had to speak with a lawyer because they feel at this age she is old enough to have her voice and see where she wants to be. Then the second visit we talk about how she feels etc. So he was late and then fought with our Daughter's lawyer. She agreed during our meeting for me to have full custody and he can still be involved but not when he feels like it! Thankfully it did not go to a trial. You definitely need a lawyer and or represent yourself but you better be strong and know your stuff. The courts sometimes do more damage without even knowing the full story. They see two ppl who can lay down but can't deal with one another so in their eyes too bad you deal with each other no matter what. I learned through my unhappy journey that I didn't have to tolerate this behavior especially for my child. I wish you all the best and or someone you know going through this. Sorry for the book.
@anitramoore9514
4 жыл бұрын
Lisa Kaplan shared custody is the thing in states and my attorny said it is rare to see full custody and my ex only wants the kids 4 days a month anyway on weekends of course because him nor his mistress want to help with schooling. We go to court and they may not have a choice. You can’t control how they treat the kdis and the courts don’t care sadly. All we have control over is how they feel in our homes
@lisakaplan9433
3 жыл бұрын
@@anitramoore9514 If your ex only wants once a week then you should have full custody. Your taking care of all of their needs 24/7 and they're the visitors which are often unreliable. I refuse to deal with co parenting if I'm the only one present and trying. It's sad for the kids and what they must feel as they get older does affect many aspects in there life. No matter what don't give up. I wish you and your kids all the best❤🙏😊
@alexandrasalvagni6269
4 жыл бұрын
“Clear your mind of animosity and hate” except my ex husband left me for another woman and impregnated her at the same time as I was. But, yes act totally sane and loving towards the other parent, lol! I don’t hate anyone. But I will say that it’s unrealistic to not have negative feelings for a person who destroyed you. I won sole custody anyways and my child is happy and healthy :)
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
I am glad your child is happy and healthy, Alexandra Salvagni. I can only imagine how difficult of an experience that was. From my observations and personal life, I have found forgiveness to be freeing and serves you more than the other person. Thanks for being at Live On Purpose TV.
@williamshirley6263
2 жыл бұрын
Winning sole custody and making it to where another parent doesn't see their kids is not something to be happy about. That is a tragedy that child lost it's father.
@MrMrmetro
6 жыл бұрын
Very true. Excellent advise! I have done this. It's been an eight-year project (so far, we are not done yet!) for me and I did exactly what he is saying. Here is the glitch: If your ex is a borderline personality disorder or a narcissist, there are some other factors to consider. Most importantly, you must recognize that the courts are biased towards women and most (not all) women use the system to their advantage. Next, you must know that these types of disordered folks are VERY effective at manipulation and painting you in a corner. They are very effective at character assassination, and if you are not very careful, you will have the court and even your own lawyer against you.........no matter how loving you have been. Your child will most likely be the only one that knows the truth as to who is the more fit parent. Then it becomes an issue of timing!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
MrMrmetro - yes, there are definitely considerations that can make this more challenging - which makes it all the more important to stick to our principles! Thanks for watching. DrPaul
@andsun
6 жыл бұрын
So true about the "glitch"!
@lawandstreeter3456
6 жыл бұрын
I'm having that "glitch" with my son's dad being a narcissist. I want to move back to GA where my "family" is. He is requesting sole custody just because he wants him. He also just had another baby and I believe wants me to pay child support that's why he wants sole custody. I already had joint custody in place here is filling for sole custody. I even presented a schedule for him and there was no compromise. When asked what would be my availability to have my son he didn't have one in place.
@lunabluecreations6447
6 жыл бұрын
MrMrmetro I agree. Courts have notoriously been biased toward women, and in many cases wrongly so. Whichever parent is the best at rearing the children, I agree. Whether it be Dad or Mom. However I have been on an odyssey for nearly 10 years now, the first year-and-a-half he saw the kids maybe 45 days out of that time. Because I would search for him and pretty much make him have time with the children not for him but for the kids. The fact is, I'm the one who's been painted into a corner. At one point there was an issue with him, I chose for the children's sake to stop pursuing custody. The fact is that the children have done what the evaluator here has said, they know what he's done however he has the money. They get to do things that they want to do. No one's really watching their day-to-day, hour-by-hour activities. As one of my children said I know he's an a****** but he's still my dad. I understand that and I agree good bad or indifferent we are their parents. However it cuts so deep when you're the one who didn't do the wrong things, you're the one who has run around with that virtual mattress to catch your children when all he's been doing in my opinion is breaking them to get revenge on me. The most hurtful part is our kids are going to have to be dealing with this stuff forever. The Fallout from all this. I'm an adult, I can handle a lot, the kids should not have to. So I have stepped back in a major way. If you can tell me where I can find an actual person who's going to do this kind of thing where I'd be able to pay them as I go along that'd be great. Someone who's interested in what's appropriate for the kids. This situation severely impacted me, PTSD, anxiety and stress fear shame. I am dealing with it, I refuse to allow myself to stay down. My oldest daughter from a previous relationship told me they'll be back Mom when they completely broken tail be back. That has happened and I'm always here for them. I'm going to end with this when we got together seeing how he was with his ex-wife should have been a major indicator but I missed disregard it really the signs we promised each other we never use our children against each other if we chose to split up. I stayed true to that promise I didn't use our kids I didn't go for full custody where he went for full custody I was asking for 50/50 because the kids need both Mom and Dad good pattern different as I said before. But the hell he rain down on me for not wanting to stay with him is very painful. When our divorce was Final in 2013 that evening when he was scheduled to drop off the kids as they went upstairs he told me if it weren't for you we'd still be married we separated in 2008 for him to make such a statement shows just how much animosity he had for me still has for me and the Revenge he was willing to take. Good luck with your Odyssey sir
@8-biternie944
5 жыл бұрын
But if the child says to the court that the dad is more of a fit parent than the mother, then they'll just put the child in foster care, Family Court will NOT give a child to the father under ANY circumstances, once you get to Family Court, you may as well kiss your kids goodbye
@medgineeugene1241
4 жыл бұрын
I agree completely! I wish someone like you would help to correct the ineptness of the “justice” system because they are almost completely unqualified to make decisions in the best interest of the children. This inspires fear in the parent who is inclined to choose love. Also, this makes it easy for a narcissist to win cases like this. Thank you for the work you do🙏
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for such kind words, Medgine Eugene. Agreed - everyone's focus should be on the children.
@Callie0818
5 жыл бұрын
My ex lied over and over and manipulated the court evaluator. I did many of your recommendations. It is very difficult to divorce a narcissist and a domestic abuser. He still has overnights.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
So sorry for what you have gone through, Callie, and are continuing to experience. Thank you for sharing.
@traciebrown8455
5 жыл бұрын
My child’s father is a narcissist and he studies me and when he doesn’t get what he wants he is very threatening to me
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
That is draining, Tracie Brown. Hopefully you can limit your time with him.
@aracelijuarez6516
5 жыл бұрын
Omg I can relate...
@lynn4460
4 жыл бұрын
You need a legal domestic abuse coach.
@jenniferc.2514
3 жыл бұрын
??? Where
@catwilk8213
6 жыл бұрын
But what if the mom is alienating the kids from their father. Making him look like a horrible monster to everyone! when truthfully he's the most sweet gentle giving kind person you ever meet . but because she can talk an Eskimo out of an igloo she gets whatever she wants . She's great at gaslighting manipulating and Lies straight to your face. that includes playing with the children's emotions and pinning them against their father which makes him look like a terrible person.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
That's the kind of stuff that comes up all the time in these cases. Your best bet is always to adhere to principle, which allows you to come through with your integrity intact regardless of what other less scrupulous people might (or will) do. DrPaul
@liamnevio823
6 жыл бұрын
C W
@johnmoses9618
5 жыл бұрын
Happen to me with my son but for now I have him almost joint custody with I am working on to make it better for our relationship. It's sick to see a child turn against you .But it is better now but for 3 months I didn't see him and he wash brainwash .So it depends on how long you go without seeing your child or children .Good luck
@Bruceallmiighty
5 жыл бұрын
Dealing with this now
@timwilliams1427
5 жыл бұрын
Thats 100% my issue And I am loosing bad every time she gets a new man.. My 2 oldest kids hate me but my 2 younger kids love me like no other but not for long I already know its coming.
@Jay-hr3rh
5 жыл бұрын
These are the first people who will say, " I love my children". I have to keep them safe. 🤔
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
I understand what you are saying, John. I have heard that said when what they really mean is they want to hurt the other person. Thank you for watching.
@shesaghost9920
4 жыл бұрын
My ex husband is this person and does nothing for all 5 of his kids
@rattyboy-private8744
4 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV u are so full of stuff I can smell it through the video. You strike me as the kind of guy who would let kids go off with a 5 arrests/1 conviction DUI mom with no valid driver's license because Dad has a problem with mom passing out with the kids.
@beanDoggins
3 жыл бұрын
@@rattyboy-private8744 you might need to pay attention to what he says more then. Him and the judge can't afford to be emotionally invested in every case and then let the emotions dictate the recommendation or custody verdict. They have a blanket analysis for every case because there's just too many people with these problems. It is impossible for them to be investigators, Therapists, and policemen at the same time.
@rattyboy-private8744
3 жыл бұрын
@@beanDoggins Too many kids are forced into unsupervised visits with a drug addict (which includes the drug ethanol) simply because kids are never believed unless they say it's sexual abuse. These 2 dudes are EXACTLY the kind of people who would disregard a kid's testimony.
@shikagreenmint
4 жыл бұрын
Need advice. I know a father who is the primary care taker for 7 years. She left him when they were very little. When she is with a man she comes back and try’s to use the kids to control him. Choosing when he can see them or call them. It broke him. Literally taking the kids from him. He does not want to never see his kids so he does not fight to much with her. Soon as she broke up with the guy she dropped them off on him. It was the most happiest day of his life. He will see his kids. They are everything to him. He was all for the kids. He was already helping with money with out child support but then she decided he need Ed to pay. Then she kept it going then taking money form him. Even after she gave the kids to him. Then she did not get in trouble after she continued to collect it with out kids. She was gone for years. Now she has a new guy and coming back and manipulating what happened and trying to disrupt the peaceful life he has with his kids. A loving family environment. The kids are healthy and happy. He was more then welcome to let her see them. He grew up with a father who left him and stuck with step parents. He know what it’s like. But she just never contacted him. She left. She made her decision. What mom just leave me when your kids are 3 or 2? Who leaves a baby? Now the problem is she is back very hateful and trying to cause issues but he is doing his best to keep his cool but she is pretending to a worried mother and act as if it’s him who is the problem. She needs to think about the kids. She is twisting everything. How does he file for custody with out loosing the kids? With all her lies and process in trying to collect information to get documented information on him to have something to work with to get the kids back. She always needed the kids for her own needs. Being a parent is to much and will take her freedom to go out with her friends and drink. How do I stop this from happening to him. How does he claim the kids in full and control the visitation so she won’t take them form him? So he will not loose to never see them again. How to avoid going back to child support because he is a man who has been there for the kids as primary caretaker? He does not need child support either. He has been raising them with out her. Help. What can he do? Will courts really choose her over him because she is the mother even though the toxic environment is being hidden? He has no money for big lawyer. I can’t even help him. What can we do before it’s to late?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
shikagreenmint, we can't control someone else's behavior. I don't know that he needs an expensive attorney, could she even afford one? Documentation is key so collect as much as he can and then file for full custody.
@nonanamemcgee884
6 жыл бұрын
You're amazing. Thank you for saying everything I need to hear right now.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
You've got this Moana Banana! Stick to principle and that will always create the best possible outcomes even if you go through hard things to get there. Honored to be on your team. DrPaul
@monicanicoleleeify
3 жыл бұрын
My God I'm in tears listening to this you've just described my situation entirely. My baby's daddy has caused so much hurt and now trying to take my child from me it sucks me and my child are suffering
@Lisal3e
3 жыл бұрын
Crazy right 😔 I’m going thru the exact same thing he’s a straight up narcissist he’s always been very intelligent which makes things even worse
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry, MONICA NICOLE. I wish you the best in your custody case.
@melissajohnson1082
2 ай бұрын
Same here currently going through it
@jocelynmircar2529
3 жыл бұрын
As a 14 year old that has lived with this for 7 years I still wonder why they don’t take our thoughts in this situation. It is our life’s after all you never know if one parent could be worse then the other but they act as if they don’t in court.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Jocelyn Mircar, as you get older, you should be able to have more input.
@galenyoung8349
Жыл бұрын
@@motocouple86 a childs love isnt for sale. Obviously you still havent learned anything.
@CarolDudeck-bl7kz
3 жыл бұрын
I’m so fed up with the BS here in Canada with custody, my former Narcissistic husband had fake child abuse charges drummed up against me, how do I fight back im livid!😡🇨🇦
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Carol Dudeck, that is so unfortunate. Stay calm! That is #1 and the hardest to do with something like this. Get a lawyer and get your evidence and character statements together. Follow your lawyers advice.
@jim8937
5 жыл бұрын
Why are we fooling ourselves? Custody goes first to mom, next to foster care, then maybe dad can have them. Facts are facts.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you have had some exposure to this topic, Jim Richardson. Thank you for watching.
@justiceforourkidsorganizat8436
5 жыл бұрын
Check out my story.....mom's get done wrong too kzitem.info/news/bejne/x4yMnJNsnqxljWk
@willchacon5888
6 жыл бұрын
You Awesome.....i am a Dad and i Love You... I love my x wife and her boyfriend..and i love spinach....
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Well you're a very loving fellow me me - hope you find it helpful to watch. DrPaul
@johnnyhotrod2608
4 жыл бұрын
will chacon.....lmao! You got it right! A+
@lydiahubbell6278
5 жыл бұрын
I don't believe in letting strangers determine what is "appropriate"--that is my job as a fit, loving parent. I support equal parenting.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Lydia Hubbell, I hear you, glad you are on the channel.
@kennybegeske8824
4 жыл бұрын
I choose Rebecca Metz from better things and coop and cami ask the world to become my new Mother she was Tressa and Jenna Wrather TV single mom to live in my house taking care of me inperson in case I'm going to the ward of the state
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Kenny Begeske, thanks for watching.
@debbiegreen9689
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, you just made me feel better about myself & my newborn baby father. Now I’ll do my best to choose love over Hates which my heart has been leading to. You are not a pastor or a priest but you sounded like one and saved me for now... thank you!!!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Debbie Green, you can do this.
@blastking2006
5 жыл бұрын
this is my situation my sons mother she lied that she dint know who i was and got me arrested by law enforcement prior to my child being born and it created an immigration problem for me bcs of the arrest . i just got done with immigration and its now 5 years she contacted me early this year that she wanted me to see my son but she did not show up. she has already had someone else sign my sons birth certificate despite the person being from another race . can i still get to see my son
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
The best course for you at this time is to seek legal advice from someone who knows the laws in your state. If you can get a DNA test, you can prove you are the father. Good luck, Eric Iangat.
@fredericksaturnine4167
4 жыл бұрын
Choose love not hate and pray that the "evaluator" or God has mercy and doesn't impose their artificial rules on you.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Derick Chafton, thanks for your positivity.
@ladybug6228
4 жыл бұрын
What about a baby who has only lived with the mother since the day he was born. Father of my son is moving into his moms trailer where she smokes inside and there’s very little room for my son. Worried about my son safety as he cannot speak for himself and he was is a baby.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Randi Fisher, see if you can get an agreement that all smoking will be done outside. I can tell you are worried.
@youmakemehappy7
5 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this. ❤ Thank you. It is so hard to do this, but knowing that it negatively and directly effects my child to be hateful and resentful, is reason enough to respond with love. Plus, I just keep telling myself that I hope karma takes care of the part that I am no longer holding myself responsible of trying to do myself. I just want my son happy, safe, & loved.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
That is just beautiful, Sara Ferguson. I hope you feel the weight off your shoulders. Awesome.
@kristenmentasti4192
5 жыл бұрын
I’m right there with you, Sara.
@youmakemehappy7
5 жыл бұрын
@@kristenmentasti4192 ugh, I'm so sorry :(
@youmakemehappy7
5 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV awww thank you so much!! 😊 it's hard, but my son's sweet face makes it all a little sister as long as he is happy! 😊
@Anonymous-ox8or
Жыл бұрын
What do you do if your a kid who wants to be with his dad but a mom does not let you see him that much but you want to be with him because he takes care of you better
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Anonymous, I don't know what the divorce papers say. Talk to your mom and let her know that you want to spend more time with your dad.
@karmasky5610
4 жыл бұрын
I have court tomorrow morning for divorce and custody. He is trying to keep them from me out of spite and have his mother raise them. He’s using my mental illness against me. Please pray for me and wish be the best of luck. Ty
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Karma Sky, I do wish you the best of luck!
@drjmapple5510
Жыл бұрын
I wish there were more people like you in the Family Court system. Bye I think we need to be honest with people. Family courts are biased in favor of mothers. The courts actually document who gets custody of the children based on their relationship to the child. They do this because it is part of the requirement for the county for which the court serves, to collect federal incentives under 42 USC 658a. All you have to do is send a freedom of information request to the state child support agency. You just request the numbers for any specific gear or timeframe showing the relationship to the child. I have collected data from all 50 states that show that judges prefer to give custody to the mother 90% of the time. The judges have been given secret instructions. These instructions require a judge to give mothers custody and place fathers on child support. It doesn’t matter what you do as a father, because the courts are incentivized to take children from their fathers, for the sole purpose of putting the fathers on child support so that the county can receive state and federal funding. This funding pays for, the judges, quart room, office staff, and the domestic relations office. There is an entire economy built on child support. The judges have a fiduciary interest in the outcome of every single family court case. The judge has not the best interest of the child in mind, but the best interest of the county in mind.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
How sad. Money should never come into the decision. It does.
@SingleDadSurvival
10 ай бұрын
You are 100% correct. Title IV-D "child support" incentivizes states as the receive 67% of each dollar they can farm out of men for child support from the Federal government.
@huaahhggg9507
5 жыл бұрын
Instead of custody "professionals" expecting heartbroken parents to act careless about the grave issues their children are faced with, custody professionals should understand what parents in situations like this are faced with, especially parents who didn't want this but was forced into it by orders of protection.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
The process is not fun, Jordan McKinnery. It sounds like you have experienced that. I hope your case turns out and you are able to see your son.
@jonathangonzalez1808
Жыл бұрын
Omg I know you were speaking in most extreme situation but it actually seems like you were talking to me, I can’t believe I found this video because of my coworker you have no idea what you just did for my kids! Thank you for this unfiltered information this video might just have helped make two young lives future better.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Oh wow! I am so glad our paths crossed.
@jonathangonzalez1808
Жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV the feeling is definitely mutual. I will continue to watch thank you.
@stevenwilliams5282
6 жыл бұрын
I agree great video. But what if you been going through a custody battle for 11 years. The children’s mother has pulled out all the stops and keep the children away try to clean multiple child-abuse cases says that the Ila father have mentally and physically abuse the children. In win these issues are being investigated, they are all found to be untrue in that in fact what has been the alleged allegations were even the case at all. But somehow the judge still managed to keep me separated from my children for six months and only giving me two phone calls a week for five minutes apiece because of all these false allegations now we have a evidence Yeary hearing June 18. In which the judge hopefully she will look through and review all 325 pages of my court documentation plus I have many more to show her. I have gone above and beyond to show that I am the bigger person that I can look out for the children and that they have a good living home with me. But Mom tends to put the chair kids in the therapy saying that I mentally mentally abuse them in when I speak to their therapist when I was allowed to I come to find out that they’re talking about what goesIn their household. Mom is been married five times her third marriage was to convicted felon in prison and she has multiple mental issues but I am somehow the crazy one. How can I get this to come to light and get the real facts proven in court
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Wow Steven, tough case. Sometimes through all of the craziness the best thing you can do is to keep living your life with integrity. I think in the end that is what will make the biggest difference. DrPaul
@stevenwilliams5282
6 жыл бұрын
I do live my life with integrity. The children have a beautiful home with my my wife and there little brother. I guess I’m reaching out for a cry for help. How can a father who loves his children with all his heart and would do anything for them be kept away? I think my story needs to be heard and things need to come to light. Not to mention the financial strain. It’s not fair. Sad thing is the children cry and want to be with me and my wife. I’ve reached out to fathers rights and no one seems to care or want to help. In the end the children lose. I don’t want that for them.what I described in my comment is only a little sample. How does this keep happening ?
@mamaknow8056
6 жыл бұрын
Steven Williams I can relate I am a Mother in a similar situation. I have the mentioned integrity that my ex sees as weakness. It is disheartening to know my child is negatively affected in the bullying regarding other parent. I hurt for my child. Dr Paul, if any way to personally talk with you it is greatly appreciated.
@markstokes7110
3 жыл бұрын
If both parents choose love this may work. Not so If the Mother has falsely accused the father of having mental health issues, sexually assaulting a child and domestic violence. If the father chooses love and even after disproving every allegation. While the mother keeps on hating..........the father is gonna get steam rolled in court and live his life like a beggar or dog getting crumbs off the mothers table of primary care. If the father ever thought for a second he actually had 'parental rights' or could stand up for his children's desire to be with him. He will be accused of being a predator and the cause of conflict and his love for his children will be seen as selfish interest. Then after years of being extorted by the system, His children begin to change. They don't believe the promises he made to them that they will be able to be with him soon, because they aren't. Because sadly the father had no idea when he had children, that if he separated from the mother that the system and the mother would separate the children from him. Enforcing it with court orders and taking a loving, caring father and turning him by enforcement of the law into a 'visitor'. Congratulations dad you can 'visit' your children, but the court must be cautious. Because even though the mother lied on affidavits coached by lawyers, made false claims to police and subjected the children to countless police interactions. Needlessly escalated situations putting the children under unnecessary stress. You dad are a potential danger to your children that you birthed, raised and love......but if she has a boyfriend, he can stay all day and all night with the children.....WTF!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Mark Stokes, I am sorry it has worked out like this for you. Make sure that your children know you love them no matter what and even if and you will never give then up.
@markstokes7110
3 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks mate, I tell them whenever I can..........I believe you to, thx for the encouragement😊
@khloenaidoo2115
4 жыл бұрын
I've been fighting with my narc ex for several years for custody eventually he never obeyed the court order and just made it difficult for me too my child. I let go my daughter because this custody battle was destroying her eventually he remarried and got a child from her and he is doing the same ugly thing to her what he done to me. He is alienating the kids from the mother's. How can I win another battle with him breaking the rules. I Have recordings from his mom stating his is unfit and mentally traumatizing the kids were they are so afraid of him.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Khloe Naidoo, this is so sad, I hope you can find a lawyer who is familiar with the laws of your state and get some advice. You might try talking to the other mother and compare your stories.
@justcasper734
5 жыл бұрын
I have court in a couple of hours and I'm not sure in saying that I'll win ...I want to win so bad 'my baby is just 11 months
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
jokerella casper, I hope things went well for you and your baby.
@luvlolee
3 жыл бұрын
I’m going thru this rn with my one year old do you have any advice if you don’t mind me asking? 🥺
@joelladkins8398
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for giving me somewhere to focus my energies as all the factors in divorce can be overwhelming and this is the most important one!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Joell Adkins, happy that you found value in the video. Thank you for watching.
@LinniFight
4 жыл бұрын
My ex wants to take custody of my child simply because I joined the army (where there's a lot of men). He should be "proud", but instead he tries to destroy me and my family. He talks and lies about me to everyone he knows.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Fallout, I don't think joining the army is a reason to get custody. Thank you for serving your country.
@Gravityfed777
6 жыл бұрын
Wow I’ve been divorced for 4 years and this is the best information I’ve ever been given. Especially the point of how to love. Unreal, keep up the videos.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Richard, thank you so much for your kind comment - so glad you found the video to be helpful. Wishing you the best as you move forward! DrPaul
@davidbastow16
Жыл бұрын
Sir the truth should be said 9 out of 10 doesn't matter how good the father is you side with women plain amd simple the system is biased towards men no matter what we do
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching and sharing your experience.
@FatherX2022
Жыл бұрын
I am sorry you are going through that. The data tells us that mothers have primary custody 85 to 90% of the time. I went through what you went through. And I had to move mountains in order to be awarded primary custody of our son. I agree it is not fair. But I hope you and the mother can manage to do what is best for your kids.
@Grandmaster_Squirrel
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you I’m going through this right now. My previous partner is threatening me with lawyers and trying to boss me around. I said go for it, get a lawyer…
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Squirrel, it just wastes a lot of time and money. Wish you the best.
@ocroafff5527
4 жыл бұрын
Thank u very beneficial
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
ahmed duale, thank you.
@Kivlor
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for these amazing videos. Wish I'd found your content much sooner. I grew up in a broken home, and my parents' D was so bad that their attorneys--who had been best of friends--never spoke to each other again after it. More parents need to choose love, and put their kids first when they decide to end a marriage. It's a nightmare for the children.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish all parents could read this and realize the choices they make have far-reaching effects.
@melia.claire
4 жыл бұрын
Am I the only kid watching your channel?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Nope. We have many kids watching Live On Purpose TV! We actually have a "Just for kids and teens" playlist: kzitem.info/door/PLq2mRDkHEBPCicx6xcJ5ZJzVe9UBlRTQV Hope you go check it out! Thanks for being here.
@melia.claire
4 жыл бұрын
Yay cool!
@Knittingmylifeaway
6 жыл бұрын
I find that even if you're not trying to win custody, this is so beneficial to your children's self esteem, and to your children's trust and security in YOU...
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Great point Rachel - yes - you've reminded us that the most important thing is the relationship. Keep the priorities straight! DrPaul
@FatherX2022
Жыл бұрын
This is a very clever and insightful way of thinking about parenting. We have to think about the best interests of the mother, of the father, and of the child. And we have to be able to differentiate all of those things.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Yes, there is so much that goes into it.
@adrianjanssens7116
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this excellent video. Just what I was looking for. Cheers from Canada.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Hello Adrian Janssens, from Canada. I am heading up there to speak in September.
@shaeelaine9817
3 жыл бұрын
I am 15 I live with my deceased mothers parents. My father, who has been in and out of jail throughout my life is now clean and is doing very well. I want to move in with him because it doesn’t feel right with my grandparents and it creates a very depressing atmosphere being around them because they don’t understand my needs as a teenager or anything else that I do, along with somewhat keeping me from the world and not understanding modern times. Would my father have any chance at winning a custody battle with my grandparents?
@shaeelaine9817
3 жыл бұрын
Not to mention being with my grandparents doesn’t feel like a home. I feel very at home and very comfortable when I’m around my father. I’ve been depressed throughout my life because of living here and them not understanding me or putting me down because of their beliefs. But my father trusts in me, he allows me to have an opinion unlike them, he just treats me with respect and is trying to do his best to make a good environment for me and my sister.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
I done know, Shae. I hope your dad continues to be there for you and build a relationship with you regardless. Your grandparents obviously love you and have done a lot for you.
@jeffreyashmore9292
6 жыл бұрын
How do you not have conflict when your child is abducted by the other parent? Child was taken out of state with a parenting plan in place and not me or the courts were notified. If there is felons drug addicts being brought around my kid on the mothers side and there is proof on paper of this how can you not have conflict? Your saying don't show emotion even if the circumstances are drastic. I keep hearing don't bash on the mom and that is exactly what I did the first time we went to court not bash on her and it was the wrong way to approach it because I lost custody and it was because I did not bash or was harsh towards the mom but she was bashing me and saying nasty things about me and it got her custody.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Jeffrey Ashmore, it sounds like your experience was painful, even though you were trying to do the right thing. Hopefully you can find a lawyer to get the legal advice you need for your state and be a presence in your child's life.
@9adizzle
3 жыл бұрын
All these thank you's and I love you's ....but has ANYONE won a case using this advice??
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
NON'O, yes, I don't know if it was in the comments of this video or another, but we have had a few say they won.
@SasukeUchiha-xy4vj
3 жыл бұрын
I've lost everything after my daughter's been gone. I need to climb out this hole but have no direction or assistance. I lost it all
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry. This is a heavy burden to carry.
@CherieFlemingHorrigan
6 жыл бұрын
My situation is so incredibly painful and unjust. I do love and forgiveness. The only issue is the step-mom in the children’s lives has brainwashed them to believe she is their real mom. There is so much to this story I should write a book. Thank you for these videos!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
What a challenge Cherie - not at all what you originally planned right? Glad you are finding the videos helpful, and I'm honored to be on your team. DrPaul
@asmaa7447
5 жыл бұрын
Cherie LaVerne Keeping u in my prayers Chose love and spend quality time with ur kids call them hug them, you are the mother no one will take that away when they are happy or sad they will come running to u because u are home .
@buttermonkey33
7 ай бұрын
If a covert narc abused the mother but not the child, whats likelihood of mother getting sole custody? You have to protect your baby from future abuse. Cov narcs show up being loving gentle sweet, it's all to groom u
@LiveOnPurposeTV
7 ай бұрын
I have no idea what the odds are since I don't know anything about the case and the people involved. I hope things work out well for the child.
@micheller5153
4 жыл бұрын
Love wins always
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely, Michelle R! Thank you for the simple yet profound reminder.
@KraziAnnRKissed
4 жыл бұрын
I have made some mistakes, I've talked about court only because my kids asked if they will need to go. I told them I'm not sure and not to worry about it. I have also said how their father hurt me- to my daughter, not my son's but it doesn't matter. I don't want her to take my feelings and make them hers. I just saw her do that and I'm sick with myself that I did. I keep trying the love angle with him but he doesn't seem interested. I just want my kids to be kids and have a good education in a safer school then their current one. I don't want them to choose but they keep saying they have to. They don't! My daughter has freak outs and panic attacks before she leaves my house (she's 10) to go back and I feel like I'm a bad person to make her go. She's even expressed self harm when going back which she is seeing a therapist for. I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid for them and how angry they are and how much they want to hurt themselves. It's unfair. I've been unfair by even talking about their father. I can't control him or his feelings only my own. Thank you for your videos, I'm really trying to not win in court, but help they be more equipt with dealing with their feelings and stress.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
You are putting the kids first and that is admirable. Let them express their feelings and I am glad you are answering their questions.
@officialalfyiii3918
5 жыл бұрын
I truly appreciate your video and knowledge. Thank you ! 🙏
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
You are welcome, Alfred Isibido. Thank you for watching.
@violetpowell4750
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks you for your emails. I will continue to give you and others of this awesome miraculous outcomes of God who we serve which fought our battle for child custody factual. Who will be all celebrating jumping for joy to see your loved one which were taken from you at birth including grand-children I am one friend and families members of all diversities fought for equities in the legal system for the Legislation Acts needs changes and be implemented . i know that one person can make changes happened for example as follow;- Violet Powell-Lunan Ayanna Black Malcolm X The Duke of Edinburgh Rosa Park Momentary Boycott Inventor Garrett Morgan Her Majesty The Queen Lady Diana Queen Nanny Maroon's Leader Prime Minister Winston Churchill Redford - Professional Football Players Maya Angelou President of United States Barrack I will continue with this miracle story for everyone to now what had happened to your children which were taken from you. Love you all Violet Rosetta Powell-Lunan
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
These are wonderful examples. Thank you.
@lionessdez
3 жыл бұрын
This is great information, I currently am going thru this. He put me in the hospital and physically abused me while we were together. My son is 1 now and we will be going to trial soon. He has had supervised visits the past 6 months. It’s been really hard but I will always choose love for the sake of my child. I appreciate you making this video ♥️
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Destinee Tena, I am sorry you went through this but happy that you are out. I am glad you know where to focus now.
@buttermonkey33
7 ай бұрын
How are you holding up? Was he ever arrested? This is awful reality for you. And I'm in a similar situation where if he can abuse me he can abuse his child too?
@bodylanguagetoday5712
Жыл бұрын
Wishful thinking.....but 9 times out of 10 this approach is impossible when dealing with a pathological narcissist.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
Agreed, the video is not made with a mental illness in mind.
@2006drz400supermoto
6 жыл бұрын
This video has gave me a great understanding I’ve chosen love not hate my ex wife is choosing hate and she has a suit against me at the moment for 5 things I can prove wrong but it’s very stressful but I’m doing what I can to keep my head up and protect our children safely, positively, as well as truthfully. Thanks again for this video
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Dave, Yes! Don't let anyone (including and especially your ex) drag you into a negative hate mode. Hold your ground! You've got this. DrPaul
@mamaknow8056
6 жыл бұрын
Live On Purpose TV I need to understand how having a love mode wins in court in the end. I think I'm missing something. Dad is negatively affecting our child with bullying with every opportunity. How does one stop the hate mode as I have always composed myself in court and have somehow lost in the end at our hearings. How does one show the court the negative affects on a child from mental abusive situations with other parent. I've heard it's very hard to prove mental abuse issues in court i.e.. parental alienation for example. Your thoughts Dr Paul?
@loanphanserverofjesuschris2369
2 жыл бұрын
All I ever wanted is to co-parent with my ex wife, so our children remain happy and healthy. 4 years on and she still wants to just try to destroy me! Even with a court interim order she still thinks she can do what ever when ever she likes! I have come to believe she thrives of toxicity and control and hates that she has none over me anymore! I’ve loved her as a person and the mother of my kids and have always been there humbly no matter the darkness she brings in, as a Christian I choose love and forgiveness over hate, no matter what she is still my children’s mother and that won’t change. I pray she finds the peace within her storm and let me just be a father and a parent to both our kids!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
I hope this happens for you, Sovereign.
@caligold8978
6 жыл бұрын
It's hard to choose love wit all the pain.....
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Yes it is Cali Gold - and it is a rare choice. I love the way this single choice can heal us and empower us to move forward. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
@caligold8978
6 жыл бұрын
+Live On Purpose TV my case is kinda weird ... My ex wife keeps calling the cops on me for little reasons. I'm not abusive either Zz
@Marcus_MG42
3 жыл бұрын
"Accountability is kryptonite to women." - Kevin Samuels.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
I haven't heard that quote before.
@aubrimusser
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much I’ve been through so much and I been trying to do the right thing but your words are inspiring
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Aubri, I can only imagine what a burden it must be. I'm honored to be on your team - you've got this! DrPaul
@lynn4460
4 жыл бұрын
When you can't figure out what steps to take next, hire a legal domestic abuse coach who has represented themselves in family court or when through the system for over ten years.
@katrinamurphy7124
3 жыл бұрын
Childs perspectives. Best interest of the child. Outcome for divorced children Reduce the conflict. Create a sane stable environment. Clear your heart. Choose love. Home study. Be real. 1.) conflict 2.) ? 3.) ? 4.) ? 5.) ?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching, Katrina Murphy.
@exgovernorroyromer3522
5 жыл бұрын
Any way I could get you to come to mediation with me on Friday? I can't seem to get my son's mother on board with "this is about our son and not about spoils."
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
My calendar is full, Jim Meh. Have her watch some of the videos and if you want to make an appointment for coaching, reach out through the website. Thanks for watching.
@derekpowers9019
5 жыл бұрын
if 1 parent wants all the custody and gets granted custody by the judge and dont have the love in there heart to give the other 50/50 all there doing is DESTROYING THERE OWN CHILD IN SEVERAL WAYS. A child a mother to a child is just important as a father to a child..WAKE UP PEOPLE!
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Derek Powers, I do believe both parents are important to the development of the child.
@acstamos
6 жыл бұрын
Dr. Paul, thanks you for a most helpful lesson. I was so upset when I started watching your post. At the end of it, I wanted to watch it again, and as a dad I would prefer to follow the lessons of the proverbs rather than the bitterness, animosity, or hate of our era. I just hope I can follow your advice.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
You can, Aeneas C. Stamos. We all mess up at times, just never give up.
@kaylag5043
4 жыл бұрын
My parents are going through a divorce. I'm 13 so technically I'm not allowed to make decisions in terms of the custody agreement, but is there a way I can ensure my mother gets 100% custody? If I get evidence of parental alienation am I able to use that in court?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Kayla G, I am not sure, you would have to ask someone who is familiar with the laws where you live. The courts will most likely want you to have visitation with both parents. You should have someone assigned to you to represent your interests in court. Talk to them.
@anachelseafg8618
4 жыл бұрын
thank you I needed this !!! im ready for tomorrow
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
ana franco, love to hear this, good luck.
@The93licia
4 жыл бұрын
Did you win full custody?
@anachelseafg8618
4 жыл бұрын
AliciaJ yes I got it but he is paying zero childcare reason he gets payed cash I allowed for him to visit for a day every two weeks one day he will regret being the piece of garbage he is
@fahkutu4290
4 жыл бұрын
About to go in for a hearing. I appreciate your videos; makes me feel a lot more confident and calm.
@MagnoliaBlossom
4 жыл бұрын
I’m preparing for trial and unfortunately my lawyer keeps drilling in my head “they won’t give you full parental responsibility”. Which is quite annoying considering the domestic violence, bullying, inconsistent involvement in our daughters life..... it’s so exhausting. I’m praying for a wise judge who will see through my X and the negligence of our daughters best interest. Glad things worked out for you!!!
@GardensoftheAncientsHerbal
4 жыл бұрын
Ya i had no choice in my case. CPS explicitly told me not to turn over my kids. Then the mother never shows up to court and had filed a protective order but then had it dropped on admission of that there was never an issue with safety with me. But over time I tried to help, tried to give positive advice, insisted on the mother spending time with the kids but she ditches the kids as soon as she gets them. Met a psychpath and the guy assaulted his ex wife wife while they were over having dinner with all the kids. Then after the guy assaulted his wife snd caught a felony case she married the guy after only knowing him for a month.... She started blacking out and assaulting people snd couch hopping. So i had no choice but deny the mother access. And actually we are that strange house that has flawless white glove cleanliness and a picket fence but all that is purely because of growing up in a hoard house as a kid and rebelling against clutter..
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Nate Shiz, so glad you have been a stable force for the kids. I get the white glove if you have that background. Glad you are here.
@jamieseiple
6 жыл бұрын
I did choose love but as you know it means little in the court system. Women will get the majority of everything. After all the damage is done, in the end, it will have consequences.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Not going to disagree with you there - I think you're right. There are definitely consequences. Lots of good people find themselves in this position. It's not fun, but is certainly do-able when we adhere to correct principles. At the end of the day, you want to come out of this with your integrity intact and a rich learning experience behind you. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
@XxXSnazzyBananaXxX
3 жыл бұрын
I'm 24 years old.. And have a 5 year old daughter, that the co-parent and I have been raising together... I've been part of her life since the moment of birth .. till the last 7 MONTHS... The co-parent and I are no longer together... The 3rd month of not being able to see our daughter. I served her paperwork for Legal Separation, and Parental Rights... There is an agreement, and set Parenting schedule that has been in affect since the agreement.. My question would be, Within the 7 months of not being able to See, nor communicate with out daughter. Is there Parental Alienation happening? I would assume so.. because I wonder what she's been telling our daughter about my "absence"? I miss her terribly. Hoping that there would be some kind of communication during Holidays and Birthdays :( I always make a gift baskets for her with small toys, and puzzles and most importantly including snacks, and drinks.. I always write on a gift card that I miss her, and that she's doing a great job taking care of her mother, and that she'll see me very soon. Her first day of school was 2 weeks ago. I'm extremely ecstatic, that our daughter is attending Her. First. Day. Of. School! I haven't received any communication from the Co-Parent asking how our daughter did on her first day.. My heart is breaking, I will never give up on our daughter :(
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
Michael, I have no idea what your daughter is saying about you. Contact the school and they can get you in touch with the teacher. You should have access to the class and communication with the teacher about your daughter.
@caradrew82
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. This is the hardest thing as a loving father I have ever experienced
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
I bet, chad r. I have witnessed many and it is a stressful time for all involved. Good luck to you.
@megananngagnon8252
2 жыл бұрын
The father stole my son. Said I was a bad parent etc. He's has mental problems now. I gave him 50/50 and he took my half. Said I was mental case and I am abuser. I was forced to take a psychological assessment which showed I don't lie, and I don't have mental health issues. But he does. He's committed parental alienation now. He tried to brainwash my son and have him lie in court against my husband stating he spanked him. The charges where dropped. The father of my son raped me in my house. I only met him 15 mins. I have been choosing love and lost my son. The father is revengeful. So now I'm going for sol custody. The love way doesn't work on with People who have NPD.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
I wish you the best and hope your son will be able to see what is going on soon. Most kids do as they grow up.
@gloriayoung392
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much GOD bless your mission LOVE JUSTICE POWER WISDOM Pray for.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks Gloria - honored that you're watching! DrPaul
@lynnettetirado1358
2 жыл бұрын
I could use all the love that God needs to handle a situation. But sometimes is hard to realize what it means when an ex-partner use to say: “Wow! I feel like a pedophile!” Not educated by the government/ school I had to understand it myself. If you see yourself in this situation, run! It’s illegal! Save your life! 😢
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
That is an odd comment.
@andymartinez3332
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much this really help me I'm going through so much right now with my ex girlfriend I'm so thankful you Made this video
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Andy I am honored to be on your team - glad you found it helpful! DrPaul
@bruh-lf6lm
4 жыл бұрын
She put you on child support
@dustinn7014
Жыл бұрын
I really hope this comment finds the person in these videos. I just want to say thank YOU so much for this information. When it comes to my child whom is being alienated from me and a nasty hateful ex who’s putting our son’s own health and safety at risk in efforts to try and create conflict and bait me into a reaction so she can use it to maintain status quo - I have turned a 180 on my outlook and way I handle my interactions and have chosen love over hate. As hard as that was to commit to, it’s the right choice for my child and I know where’s truly no point in trying to argue your way on an issue with someone who’s determined to create a negative coparenting relationship, that 10/10 times is in the best interest for your child. Strategic non-response 😊. Thank you.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
You are going to have a wonderful relationship with your child as they grow. They will see the difference.
@tarapotamus
6 жыл бұрын
absolutely 100% on point, and you are very personable. Great video, thank you.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching Tara! DrPaul
@Scouse.raver1
6 жыл бұрын
Hi wondered if you can give me any advice please my ex the dad took the kids social services advised him he could exercise his rights now he's saying while at a visit at a museum I've tried to abduct the kids now court has put prohibited step order so I'm not allowed to have/ get Mt kids now without permission and supervision but what would happen if i had cctv of the same visit and that proved I did no wrong and he is lying just to get in court sooner, much appreciated in advance
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Em, that sounds like a frustrating situation. Many of the questions you are asking here have a legal connotation, so my advice to you would be to consult with your attorney. There may be some things you can do to put yourself into a better position from a legal standpoint. In terms of how you conduct yourself, the principles in this video are even more crucial when others are showing up in ways that are challenging or frustrating. Best wishes! DrPaul
@Nina-vl3uh
5 жыл бұрын
Hi I really love your advice because you use some biblical advice. I wish you are my lawyer I am currently going to custody battle.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
Good luck with your case, Jesseth Jardine. What a tough thing to go through. Thank you for watching.
@wysefavor
3 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV how do I know if your lawyer is best for you ? Or doing what is best for you ?
@garnetandgold07
2 жыл бұрын
That's a nice, but somewhat naive position to take to "choose love" if there is domestic violence, alcoholism/drugs and/or sexual abuse (if there is no DNA or hard evidence left on the child the courts and evaluators will never believe the child and will instead accuse the other parent of "brainwashing/alienation" if allegations of abuse are brought up). Another sad but highly determinating factor is who has the most $$ and who pays the custody evaluator's bill. Generally speaking, he with the deeper pockets has a much greater chance at victory, no matter what is occurring in that child's life. Sad but true.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Abuse is not tolerated.
@korsion
6 жыл бұрын
This is very misleading, The Father can be the best parent on the face of the earth. but the suggestion will always be that the child stays with the Mother, no matter how bad she is.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Korsion it does tend to be more common for the Mother to retain custody because of her role as the primary caregiver in most uncontested cases, but there are a number of factors involved depending on the local laws and judicial rules. I did a meta-analysis of just the cases I had been involved in over about 13 years and found that fathers and mothers were both recommended in a fairly balanced percentage. DrPaul
@korsion
6 жыл бұрын
I am in Austalia, and maybe the system is slightly different here, we call the custody evaluators "Family report writers" and they nearly always give custody to the Mother. Maybe if it is contested then that can change the outcome, but that also means challenging the report that has been written which means a costly trial.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Costly in more ways than one for sure. Although each case is different, I still believe that your best shot at getting a favorable outcome is to stick to the principles. Best wishes! DrPaul
@8-biternie944
5 жыл бұрын
@@LiveOnPurposeTV you don't seem to understand that the judges don't care about the father's or the children's rights, this is nothing more than a multimillion-dollar industry, your advice assumes that all judges and systems are fair, which you and I both know is not the case, you ever hear of Joseph kennick? If not, it would behoove you to read about him
@homemakerandglamour29victo29
5 жыл бұрын
Not always true. My ex has been physically and mentally abusive to myself and my girls but the judge still gave him 50/50 custody. Even with police records etc. It all depends on the judge my judge didn't like me and my ex also had a good lawyer that his father paid for because his dad is rich I am not and I couldn't afford a lawyer not even a free one. And the judge who handled my case also favored the fathers from what people in the court house told me.
@lydiahubbell6278
5 жыл бұрын
That love is nearly impossible unless people have the love of Jesus in their hearts. Corrie ten Boom also showed love in nearly impossible situations. The hate choice would have made it worse in my case even thought the love choice is the one I made, without regret.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
I love Corrie's book and have referred to it often with clients and while speaking. One of my books is called the Love Choice, if only everyone would make that choice.
@fatlife8976
4 жыл бұрын
I really needed to hear this. Thanks
@iamqueen6397
4 жыл бұрын
Me too. This is so stressful. This video helps
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
F Life, glad we connected.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
IAM QUEEN, honored to be on your team.
@lynn4460
4 жыл бұрын
Look for a law firm in a bank. You can buy custody. I discovered the GAL in my case was married to the VP of the bank where my former spouse divorce attorney's law firm was located. When i discover custody was sold boy were they pissed. Just thankful i represented myself and not had a huge lawyer bill lover the $20,000 divorce book i had. Now i help parent represent themselves and make the process easier. I created the family court journal and the family court motion guide. Downloadable so you can start making your motion today.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
4 жыл бұрын
Lynn, hope you were able to find some help in my videos. Thank you for watching.
@helenatroy33
5 жыл бұрын
I had to co parent with my ex husband/ my narcisstic abuser. I never deviated from being child focused at all times, and demonstrating respect for him as her father. I sought remedy at all times. No matter his behavior, no matter how belligerent he was, there was never a fight for me, as I ALWAYS STAYED IN HONOUR AND ALWAYS SOUGHT REMEDY, AT ALL TIMES. Let that sink in. You are amazing sir, thank you for educating others.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
5 жыл бұрын
What a great example, Helena Phoenix. Some people don't think it is possible, but it is. Thank you for commenting.
@christinewarren8134
5 жыл бұрын
Girl yes. I be wanting to kick his azzzzzz
@mohandassuraj
3 жыл бұрын
The last time I saw my son was 6th March 2017, it is now 22nd July 2021 , my wife the mother of our son took our son illegally without a passport from Goa India , Via Land Border to Nepal and made illegal documents to travel to Kazakhstan Almaty her home country. Since then she has not allowed me to speak to my son, and has married another Man (without even completing the divorce process with me in India ) and has two more children from this man and has traveled to Georgia and then to Armenia and now in Sochi, Russia. I have the custody order from the court, my son is Indian National, however due to the lack of a proper legal channel and process in the Indian System for child custody and international parental abduction the inefficiency of the Indian government and the the system here the process is still going on and I am still unable to get access to my son or get his custody. Meanwhile my wife The mother of our son, is systematically brainwashing our son against me his father... I am still following the legal process and hopefully will go to Russia soon and meet my son and I hope the India in Russia (Embassy of India, Moscow) will help me with this process in finding my son. I hope I unite with my son soon.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
3 жыл бұрын
I hope you can reunite with your son. He will find you at some point.
@simpinainteasy680
6 жыл бұрын
The best interest of the child is for you to promote 50/50 custody. Presumed equality of both parents.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
I've seen 50/50 work before, but it is usually kind of rare. Each parents has different strengths and things that they can contribute to the best interest of the child. In each case, it is important to find the most appropriate solution rather than something that "looks" fair. DrPaul
@8-biternie944
5 жыл бұрын
Equality for both parents?? In the family court system? haaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa
@Kit91875
5 жыл бұрын
Nebraska does 50/50 always it’s not the best
@tawnja2008
3 жыл бұрын
But what if the other parent is an alcoholic and tried to commit suicide? How is 50/50 the best interest for the child?
@saw727
Жыл бұрын
i listen to you over and over again.. and i hope your right, every judge is different... i do not want anymore conflict, my son is doing better than he was, unfortunately he doesn't get to see his dad as much... he could see him more, just no overnights, but dad is aware that child support is more with no overnights so dad is very upset and won't take son more because he would be paying me for him to spend time with son. Hopefully everything will balance out and child support wont be an outstanding amount... and that we can start working together to better the situation, calm the anger, and work together but from a far as parents. I haven't always been right about things, i've exploded on ex, ive been mad... but here and now... i am bettering myself... i just had to get out of the relationship to get to this point. Then his anger exploded and hasn't stopped.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
Жыл бұрын
I wish you well.
@macaroonskittycatpurplesky9687
6 жыл бұрын
Thank you this video actually gave me more hope on what I am about to go through with the mother of my child.. my daughter is my heart and soul. Still confused cause this will be my first experience I ever will ever go through. Love is the most I can do I may not be perfect or the riches but to my little girl I’m daddy. Super hero or maybe just so much emotion. I don’t hate on the mother of my child but she’s not the nicest person. I maybe not living in her expectations but I’m a damn good father when it comes down to my baby girl. Sigh well just gotta pray. Thank you.
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Tony, you're on track. Sorry that you are going through this, but keep that perspective and you will give a great gift to your daughter. Best wishes! DrPaul
@km-lw2uc
6 жыл бұрын
Ok are you splitting because of adultry or violence. If not go to the Bible hope and love will and can heal.but not like magic but thru hard work and listening to the best Marriage counseling from god
@LiveOnPurposeTV
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks Kristy - great perspective. Take a look also at the Positive Relationships playlist here on the channel for some other related ideas. DrPaul
@soul832006
2 жыл бұрын
I have a difficult situation. My ex was arrested on domestic violence charges and barred from coming into contact with my son and I. My son has disclosed further examples of abuse and mistreatment. We have been separated since last November. She initially declined the offer for a contact center and wanted to send videos to my son. This was upsetting him and he rarely asks about his mum now. He only mentions the abuse when talking about her. He is safe with my parents whilst I work shift work and I now have a loving partner with 2 kids. She is very supportive of my son and we want to live together as a blended family soon. I have chosen an excellent school for my son to start in next year and he is completing his preschool with lots of love and support from my parents. He will be living back with my partner and I full time in a few months. I feel conflicted because I now don't want my son to have contact with his mum because of how it triggers his trauma. So I have requested additional time to consult with his psychologist before making any decisions about supervised contact. She is facing many criminal charges for the extensive abuse of my son and I. Will it work against me if I disagree to the contact on the basis that it triggers his trauma? Will that hurt any custody battle?
@LiveOnPurposeTV
2 жыл бұрын
Best to have it backed up by a psychologist - that the trauma is triggered by contact with his mom. Hope that makes sense, not just you saying it, but you being supported.
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