“Help! I just found out my child is deaf. What do I do? I’ve never even met a deaf person. I read that deaf children have low reading levels, and speech is the best option. I’ve heard great things about the Alexander Graham Bell (AGB) Foundation…”
Hold on. First, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Many parents have been where you are. If you’re feeling heartbroken, that’s valid. But let’s zoom out. Is your child a failure? Incapable? Absolutely not! Deaf people can do anything. This can be a beautiful journey if you keep an open mind and heart.
What I share here means a LOT to me and many others: the importance of parents learning sign language for their deaf child.
This story is for you. It’s a description of a common deaf experience. Of course it's only one of many. Raw and from the heart, done in one take. I hope it resonates. Take the time to watch and digest - many parts are not captioned, but with visual vernacular (gestures and facial expressions), I hope the message is still clear - even to non-signers.
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Quick background: I’m deaf, born in the 90s to hearing parents. They were shocked at first, but they adjusted, researched, and chose to learn sign language immediately. I grew up bilingual, fluent in both ASL and English. I’m independent, successful, and most importantly, happy. I’m close to my parents, and we’ve always had deep conversations, thanks to sign language.
When you’re young, you absorb information like a sponge. My mom loves to tell the story of the “Helen Keller” moment when I was two. For 18 months, I had no language. One day, my mom signed “bear,” and I signed it back. From that point, I rapidly learned vocabulary. I was even in gifted classes for English, and the potential damage from my early lack of language was avoided because my parents acted fast and taught me sign language.
Many people make the mistake of focusing solely on getting deaf kids to absorb sound. They forget that deaf children learn best through their vision. By focusing only on sound, the window for learning language closes. This is why learning to sign should be treated like an emergency-it’s vital for your child’s communication. Focusing on speech sounds is not language, but teaching them signs is.
I did wear hearing aids on and off and received speech therapy, but only when I wanted to. It’s essential to offer speech or hearing aids as an option, but sign language should not be treated as a risk to that process. In fact, sign language can help a deaf child learn speech more easily.
Thanks to outdated thinking, the 1880 Milan Conference, and organizations like the AGB Foundation, many parents are wrongly guided to focus only on speech and hearing, vilifying sign language. But hearing devices are just tools. They will never fully replicate hearing. It’s essential to understand that a deaf person’s natural mode of communication is visual. Sign language is not a hindrance-it’s a gateway to language.
Scholars often have a limited perspective, seeing spoken language as the only valid form. But for deaf people, struggling to fit into a world built around sound is exhausting. If more people knew the variety of ways deaf people communicate-through ASL, Pidgin, SimCom, or text-deafness would be viewed differently.
Deaf children who grow up with limited language access face behavioral, emotional, and intellectual challenges-not because they’re deaf, but because they lack language. As my hearing dad says, learning to talk is a survival skill, but it’s not true communication. Sign language is a deaf person’s natural language, and it comes in many forms worldwide.
Deaf people have been contributing to society for decades as intellectuals, inventors, parents, and more. The richness of deaf culture is beyond the public’s understanding-our humor, our ideas, and our ways of life are truly unique. Deaf people are thriving, contributing to society in meaningful ways, and this will only increase with more awareness and acceptance.
The key is to keep believing, keep going, and love your child. It may seem overwhelming, but you can do this. I’ve seen parents from all walks of life-single parents, families with limited education, those living in poverty or remote areas-learn sign language and raise their deaf children with love and respect. Those who put in the effort are rewarded with a close relationship with their child. Those who don’t are not. You’re not alone in this journey.
For those already on this path, who’ve embraced sign language and supported their deaf child-thank you. You are incredible, and we need more people like you.
Transcript/description in comments.
Негізгі бет "I just learned my baby is deaf. What should I do?" -- story by a deaf woman, in multiple modalities
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