The new craze from Japan is Chinpoko Mon dolls, and the kids want to collect them all for some reason.
"Chinpoko Mon" S03
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CARTMAN'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Cartman is on the couch, watching television and eating
KITTY
Meow.
CARTMAN
No, kitty these are MY spicy hot
Louisiana baked chicken tenders! NO
KITTY!
ANGLE - TELEVISION
Cartman is watching a Japanese Animated Show called 'Chinpoko
Mon'. A teen kid who looks like the main kid from Pokemon is
on the screen with several little CHINPOKO MON creatures;
small animals that have special powers.
TARO
Someday I will collect all the Chinpoko
Mon then I will fight the evil power that
will reveal itself once all the Chinpoko
Mon are collected, oh?
Cartman tries to mimic the show. He suddenly makes his eyes
look like Taros and talks with a flapping Japanese animation
style mouth.
CARTMAN
No kitty you can't have these chicken
tenders because they are mine and I keep
mine to myself, oh?
ANNOUNCER
Be sure to tune in tomorrow for another
inexplicable episode of CHINPOKO MON!!!
CARTMAN
Hooray!
Cartman hops down from the couch, but suddenly, a commercial
starts.
COMMERICAL
Hey, kids, do you love Chinpoko Mon?!
CARTMAN
(Freezing in his tracks)
Yes.
COMMERICAL
Well now you can buy your very OWN!
The commercial starts to show kids playing with Chinpoko Mon
dolls, as a ROCK SONG starts playing.
SINGER
I'VE GOT TO BUY CHINPOKO MON!!
I'VE GOT TO BUY IT, GOT TO BUY IT!!!
The commercial shows several different Chinpoko Mon. They are
little animals, about the size of Cartman's hand, that look
very Japanese, and take on different shapes.
COMMERICAL
Now YOU can collect them all! Furry Cat!
Donkeytron! Pen-gin! Shoe! Lambtor!
Collect them all and YOU can become Royal
Crown Chinpoko Master!
CARTMAN
Royal Crown Chinpoko Master?! Holy shi-
COMMERICAL
All the chinpoko mon are in stores NOW!
NARRATOR
Chinpoko Mon is super you love toy number
one!!!
SINGER
GOT TO BUY IT! Chinpoko MON!!
Cartman tosses his plate aside and RUNS to the kitchen.
CARTMAN
MOM!! MOM!!!
INT. CARTMAN'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
WIDE SHOT of the kitchen. Mom is standing with her back to
us, at the counter.
Cartman comes running in, and immediately starts running
circles around his mother.
CARTMAN
MOM!! SERIOUSLY!!! SERIOUSLY!! TOY
STORE!! NOW!!! MUST GO!!! TOY STORE!!!!
CARTMAN'S MOTHER
Eric, calm down!!!
Cartman's mom kneels down and grabs her son by the back of
the coat. His little legs keep running.
CARTMAN
SERIOUSLY!!! MOM!!!! MUST GO!!! MUST
BUY!!!
CARTMAN'S MOTHER
What is it, Eric?
Finally, Cartman calms down, he tries to catch his breath as
he turns to his mother.
CARTMAN
(Panting)
Mom -- I've only just heard -- They're
making Chinpoko Mon dolls, mom. You can
collect them all!! You can collect them
all, mother. Quick we must get to the toy
store.
CARTMAN'S MOTHER
I'm making us some lunch right now, Eric.
Suddenly, Cartman completely changes. He is no longer out of
breath.
CARTMAN
(Whining softly)
But mo-om! I have to get a chinpoko Mon
doll before anybody does because then
I'll be coool!
CARTMAN'S MOTHER
Can't it wait til tomorrow, hon?
CARTMAN
(Whining loudly)
But Mo-OM! I have to get one first or
else people won't think I'm coooool!!!
CARTMAN'S MOTHER
Alright, let's go.
CARTMAN
Sweet.
EXT. TOY STORE - DAY
A medium sized toy store just off the road. A large banner in
the window says 'Yes! We have Chinpoko Mon!'
Cartman and his mom walk up to the door.
CARTMAN
Everybody's gonna be SO JEALOUS when they
see my Chinpoko Mon!!!
INT. TOY STORE - DAY
Cartman walks into the toy store with his mom and sees-
The toy store is an absolute zoo. Kids are running all around
pulling all chinpoko mon items off the shelf. Everyone has
come to get Chinpoko Mon toys.
CARTMAN
Aw, God DAMMIT!
In the middle of the Toy Store is a large plastic Chinpoko
Mon surrounded by several of the toys.
Cartman walks into the middle of them.
STAN
Hey fat ass.
CARTMAN
Hey dickhole, I guess you saw the
commercial too.
STAN
Yup! I got Roo-STOR, LAMtron AND Shoe!
CARTMAN
Well, that's nice but I'M gonna get a PEN
GIN, he's the coolest...
Cartman walks over to a barrel that should contain PINGIN
Chinpoko Mon's (It says PENGIN! on the side of the barrel)
But the barrel is empty.
CARTMAN
GOD DAMMIT THERE'S NO MORE PENGINS!!!!
Kenny walks up holding a pingin.
CARTMAN
Kenny, Pengin is my favorite, that's the
last one, let me have it.
KENNY
Mph mph.
Cartman grabs the pengin, but Kenny won't let go of it.
Cartman holds strong and starts to whine.
CARTMAN
Ma... Maaaa... Kenny, Lemme have it...
Ma.. Maaa! Gimme the PENGIN! Maaa!!
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