You can’t help someone who doesn’t want the help. My last relationship was like that and it was draining af.
@Cyanopteryx
10 ай бұрын
Man so much bitterness and cynicism in the comments section. Sometimes people are really just struggling with their mental health, it's not always a sign that they're cheating or the marriage is over. My husband has major depressive disorder and after years of watching him slowly fade, I begged him to get therapy and I got into therapy too. Since then things have improved so much, we both started working out and are both much happier and healthier. I never once assumed he was cheating or didn't love me, it was obvious his depression was drowning him and he needed help. This caller sounds like he's in a similar boat and I hope they get the help they need.
@Ja50nkAt
10 ай бұрын
Go run 3 miles then tell me how you feel, seriously.
@Cyanopteryx
10 ай бұрын
@@Ja50nkAt I'm not saying others haven't had alternative experiences, but the number of commenters immediately jumping to "she's probably a filthy cheater!" is kind of wild when there's nothing in the video that suggests it.
@Ja50nkAt
10 ай бұрын
@@Cyanopteryx I agree with that but if you're feeling depressed I have to ask how much do you exercise and what is your diet like? I believe those are some of the top reasons behind.
@anneshirley9560
10 ай бұрын
@@Ja50nkAtmy brother is super fit, ( he's a marine ) but is also depressed, has anger and rage issues and is now a functioning alcoholic.
@Ja50nkAt
10 ай бұрын
@@anneshirley9560 He's probably depressed and angry/rage issues BECAUSE he's an alcoholic. Might taking some other substances too or has deeper issues going on in his life. Also good REM sleep helps depression.
@vickimerritt2832
10 ай бұрын
ask about ages of their kids, she may feel exhausted and trapped. 3 children, especially small ones can leave no time for self care.
@JKNat9004
10 ай бұрын
It sounds like she has some true mental illnesses at hand and it's more than fatigue from "mothering."
@whosaidthat9265
9 ай бұрын
Meh…I have 3 kids, the oldest is 3. He works from home. My husband works outside of the home. She has more help than most. She has more issues than having moments of being overwhelmed due to kids imo. I know everyone is different but her unwillingness to even go to a psychiatrist says she has some deep issues and a lack of self awareness
@cyn5962
17 күн бұрын
I agree, I think she most likely has a mental disorder and beeds to see a psychaitrist. However, taking care of 3 kids is never easy and is probably only making the situation worse. The stress of childcare will make anxiety worst. Also, this stress of taking care of her kids is making her depression worse especially because depressed people don't have much energy which makes it harder to do the neccesary things kids require day in and day out.@whosaidthat9265
@decemberdarling6058
10 ай бұрын
Postpartum? Hormones? Overwhelmed by 3 young kids? Trauma? Could be anything. I feel sorry for her, but he can't fix her. She needs to open up and ask for/get help on her own.
@arlenecrespo4316
10 ай бұрын
I would also suggest that if you see her harming herself in any way call the health authorities to step in. This happened to my son a period when he just would not cooperate so I called the health authorities to step in and I'm glad they did. It was a wake up call and he started turning his life around. Sometimes they have to be shocked into what they're doing to themselves. It's the very thing to make them aware of the reality of the situation.
@JustJulesM
10 ай бұрын
I'm glad you got to the depression part and getting her help. I tell my husband he'd be better off with someone else often! Severe depression. It is very hard on my husband but he keeps taking care of me the best he can... sometimes not in a great way but he is trying.
@vaska1999
3 ай бұрын
It's unfair of you to keep staying in your marriage while telling your husband he'd be better off without you, with someone else. Severe depression requires treatment, and whatever treatment you're currently getting isn't working, so you need to talk to your psychiatrist about that.
@FreeSpirit47
10 ай бұрын
This is such a scary call. The only one who can help this man's wife is her. So sad that they have children. Their mother's condition can mess them up to mimic their mother. I was that mother who IDed early on, went through some intense counseling to get myself straightened out. There was generational child abuse on both sides. My mother side was mental health issues, my father's side was substance & physical abuse. I broke the cycle. So grateful to the counselor who stuck with me through it all. It was painful, frightening, revelatory & expensive ~ it was so worth it to see my 4 kiddos doing so good in their lives. They have no Idea what I went through in my childhood then what I had to be a better mother than my mother & the women in her ancestry. That's okay, they are better off not knowing. Knowing what has gone on in their family lineage could be traumatizing.
@alluringbliss4165
10 ай бұрын
It’s always reassuring hearing someone breaking the cycle . It can be scary but believing you are able to over one this challenge is absolutely courageous.
@ty454
10 ай бұрын
Been through this. Medication....its the flotation device that allows you to make the changes you need to make.
@tanyamilewski5700
10 ай бұрын
If she gets better after getting away from kids maybe she is just overwhelmed by her duties as a mom
@addiskassa5165
10 ай бұрын
Yeah, you are so right, sometimes it's overwhelming doing as a routine the same thing, she might need a break. I am a mom too, we need time, we need to listen our self, someone's should appreciate, it might be hormonal imbalance too, please! God help this woman!🙏
@shachede6828
10 ай бұрын
Yah he should take of the kids, and if she doesn’t want custody he should take care of them.
@seminolekilla
10 ай бұрын
Maybe she needs to figure it out. She is a mom. She can’t just be a whiny psycho and abandon the family whenever she feels like it
@tanyamilewski5700
10 ай бұрын
@@seminolekilla well she is failing to figure it out. Some people just can’t handle that much responsibility especially with no other support systems or nannies. If that’s the problem the point is she is not mentally ill she is a tired mom. Because sick people aren’t sick dependent on who is around. They are sick period. If she gets better when she is away from the demands of her life then that’s where the issue is not mental illness. Plus the type of kids matter if you have hyper kids or difficult kids or special needs kids it can take a toll. And if your partner doesn’t care how you are coping and tells you to grow up or figure it out you can go crazy with those kids. That’s no different from someone struggling at work with workload or husband who can’t pay all the bills on his own and needs help or who struggles to provide. Some men figure it out but other families live in poverty because dad can’t figure it out. Unlike other jobs being a mom is full time no breaks no holidays. It’s not an easy job
@joshuacorbin221
10 ай бұрын
I know that feeling, but the truth always comes out under strain... I married a tough and beautiful woman who has never been a mom of 3 with Autism before. It. Is. Overwhelming. It's my job to keep her dreams alive, and build her back up every single day. Whatever it takes.
@mimimonster
10 ай бұрын
John was 100% right about his wife needed a diagnostic evaluation. This doesn’t sound right nor logical. Something bigger is going on - people usually don’t cycle between wanting to be alone and abandon your spouse and children and then being okay. The only problem is, a lot of people refuse. This guy is amazing though - trying to reach out for help.
@BrooklynRayne
10 ай бұрын
john your show is the best I can't go without watching ❤❤❤
@limiwa
10 ай бұрын
I can really relate to this caller. It's hard and overwhelming to live with a depressed spouse and not know how to help them or handle it. Eventually I did something similar to what Dr John suggested in that I expressed things in terms of my deep love for my husband and how worried I was for him. He did, with support, start to take steps to get help and help himself. Over time things got better, although he does still struggle here and there. I hope that things work out for the best for them both.
@bethl
10 ай бұрын
It is SO challenging for both partners!
@colleenmccann1190
10 ай бұрын
Speaking from experience - my ex was bipolar and what you describe is exactly him - be very prepared that she WILL NOT go for diagnosis. She very likely does not believe she has a problem, this was how it was for my ex and he explained this very clearly. He was OK, we were all the ones with issues. He had to be involuntarily institutionalized and medicated in order to get better. He did have a relapse years later and even though he accepted his diagnosis it took the police to get him back to the hospital - love and family and our fear were not enough. When she does not go take concrete steps to protect your kids. While she may never physically endanger them she is not safe - not for their development or emotional safety. You must put your kids first even above your marriage when it comes to undiagnosed mental health problems. I feel for you man, it's only going to get harder.
@joshuacorbin221
10 ай бұрын
It's only going to get harder!? This does not bode well for people on the spectrum in middle age! Also... A wife is for life but children will leave. Don't mess up the primary relationship! (focus on the kids rather than your spouse's wellfare defeats the purpose)
@matthewbrandon931
10 ай бұрын
I was in a relationship like this. It's no win.
@amendaalmonte2236
10 ай бұрын
This sounds so exhausting.
@catherinenelson4162
10 ай бұрын
John, your questions are so good. Getting to the bottom of a problem is so important.
@judybaker3196
10 ай бұрын
Sounds to me like she’s depressed.
@opalanuitchoutte3038
10 ай бұрын
And maybe her depression (if that's correct) because she's done. Let her be done
@fauxbro1983
10 ай бұрын
She gone bro.
@mikenelson8377
10 ай бұрын
She wants to ride that carousel 💀
@dcashgotem1
10 ай бұрын
🎠
@tomnohmy1273
10 ай бұрын
Dr J's friends, family, co workers are lucky people
@Ja50nkAt
10 ай бұрын
This is my worst nightmare during marriage, someone just dragging me down and sucking life out of me, you can hear it in this man voice, he's exhausted from the back and forth uncertainty and her "depression."
@kekejefferson9219
10 ай бұрын
Let her go. You dont have the tools to help her.
@Hakeberdh
10 ай бұрын
He would be better off without her? Sounds suicidal
@joshuacorbin221
10 ай бұрын
sounds like care burnout. What if the guy is clueless about reducing her stress load? What they are both too busy to prioritize sleep and diet?
@cc3822
10 ай бұрын
Well, she is clueless to his stress load, so what's your point?
@joshuacorbin221
10 ай бұрын
@@cc3822 Generally he should be able to decide what's best for the marriage unless he checked out. He won't have control over his wife by any means but the man in a relationship has to have the last word on how busy the couple gets and how much stress they take on in any given year.
@nickstrapko7549
10 ай бұрын
Bipolar ? I thought this before they said it
@georgemaredi5771
10 ай бұрын
Had to go back to the " Wedding canceled" video from 2 days ago to take a peek at the difference in perspective. I'll be honest, the internet isn't a reliable place to learn how to navigate relationships.
@abbyxiong3931
10 ай бұрын
Nope. People rely on the Internet too much in my opinion.
@opalanuitchoutte3038
10 ай бұрын
If someone wants out, let them go
@courtneyjones-laweka1716
10 ай бұрын
What happened to honoring your vows and staying with her through sickness and in health? Yall people in the comments🙄
@whosaidthat9265
9 ай бұрын
Should he risk the well being of the kids trying to honor those vows? We have seen in the news lately how some mothers react in their depressive state and those kids deserve a stable, safe home environment. She needs to AT MINIMUM be will to go get professional help. Her not doing that is a HUGE problem and dangerous.
@vaska1999
3 ай бұрын
If a spouse refuses to get medical help for their problem, they're choosing to get divorced.
@ZoKitchen
10 ай бұрын
She’s having a walk-away wife syndrome so sorry your marriage is deteriorating. Give advice from the host❤
@rodneytmac
10 ай бұрын
Never stay with a woman that wants to leave
@unknowncomment85
10 ай бұрын
preach louder but to young men..
@Hannahrose26853
10 ай бұрын
Definitely sounds like she is having a hard time and needs him to do the work of making the appointments and finding the babysitter ect. The world expects moms to just make time for themselves but reality is more difficult. Hope they’ll be ok!
@Brenduh03
10 ай бұрын
So honored to be the first one here 😅
@JustinCase780
10 ай бұрын
🍪
@lilsamantha1
10 ай бұрын
What are these cards for communication called?
@flashthecorgi2053
10 ай бұрын
Questions for humans- they are amazing! There is a link to the products in the description of this video!
@cryptoroseaz
10 ай бұрын
Bipolar with narcissistic tendencies
@EmoeccentricShawty
10 ай бұрын
Let her go. She’s done with you. Keep your kids and let her move on with her life. Put her on child support if you need to.
@unknowncomment85
10 ай бұрын
leave.. make sure you get 50/50 custody.. or you can kick the can further down the road..
@ginnyfromdablock7551
10 ай бұрын
People never listen to this person's advice. Stop giving up in marriage when it gets tough. Vows matter. Do not leave your spouse.
@briskettacos
10 ай бұрын
50/50 custody also means you're doing 50% of the childcare.
@unknowncomment85
10 ай бұрын
@@ginnyfromdablock7551 if your spouse is unsure.. you end it.. 'OR' you can spend rest of your life miserable trying to fix it.. have talked to plenty of men who worked on fixing their miserable marriage, they regret it when they hit their 50s.. eventually gets divorced, loses half of what they built and is then on the hook for life time alimony..
@pixel6878
10 ай бұрын
Ditch her bruh. Save yourself the stress.
@bethl
10 ай бұрын
I Hope you don’t get married…
@JewelBlueIbanez
10 ай бұрын
Maybe she’s on the autism spectrum and doesn’t know it. ASD often goes undiagnosed in women.
@curtismorgan9789
10 ай бұрын
It sounds to me like she gets depressed when she is overwhelmed. I would put $ on he doesn’t pull the weight she needs from him at home and she needs a regular break or release
@joeypena8005
10 ай бұрын
😂 get saved( believe on the Lord Jesus Christ), be born again having on a new person and allow the Lord to give you a wife or husband. Read and understand doctrine so you don’t get deceived. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.
@carnivoreRon
10 ай бұрын
The first thing that I thought of is that she's having an affair. He needs to leave for the sake of the children and himself.
@777thejesusfreak777
10 ай бұрын
She’s done. I’d bet the house she was unfaithful. Speaking from and extremely similar experience.
@user-fi4gd6ev4s
10 ай бұрын
It sounds like to me she has checked out of your relationship and is looking for a way to let you down as smoothly as possible without breaking you. Just my opinion from what little was said here. She doesn't have to be with you because she gets priority over keeping the kids. It doesn't matter how good of a husband you are with no fault divorce. Women prioritize their own happiness above the kids future in 2023.
@texan903
10 ай бұрын
She's probably had an affair that ended badly that she doesn't want to discuss because the husband will learn about it. Also, she might have a diagnosed mental health condition that she doesn't receive treatment for and doesn't want to reveal to the husband.
@user-fi4gd6ev4s
10 ай бұрын
@@texan903 Agreed! I was thinking she cheated to because of how she was acting but I didn't want to say it. She is pretty content on moving on it seems and she is trying to do it softly. That was my clue. Women check out of their current relationship waay earlier then they breakup with you because they monkey branch to relationships. Especially when she has 3 kids already. She needs to know she will be secure enough to not be on the streets.
@abbyxiong3931
10 ай бұрын
No facts.
@shachede6828
10 ай бұрын
Everybody should prioritize their happiness over kids. How do you raise good and healthy children in unhappiness. You can only save others if you save yourself. I thank God for my dad, when my mom was in depth of depression and mental health issues he stepped up, was there for all of us and made us understand our mom’s pain and mental state. My mom took time to recover. He moved the world for my mom and created a space for her to recover. Once my mom got better she loved us more and more. They are still married and my mom is better each time.
@shachede6828
10 ай бұрын
@@user-fi4gd6ev4severything is not cheating. I think because men cheat a lot you just assume she is cheating. Crazy
@RichardTouchfaith
10 ай бұрын
Does it seems more than half of the time the woman makes the relationship harder in general? Men see it as a partnership towards a goal and women have to bring in their fairy tail ideology into the mix. Shake off any past life issues and focus on the present and future! Tell me I am wrong please!
@briskettacos
10 ай бұрын
Nah, you just have confirmation bias from constant immersion in your webghetto that caters to your prejudices
@crow_feather
10 ай бұрын
You're wrong. As a woman myself, I see marriage as a partnership in which both people are working towards the same goals. Sounds like you've had some lousy relationships in the past, and I'm sorry to hear that you have, but please don't project your experiences with some women onto all of us!
@thematrix3663
10 ай бұрын
For some society has done a number with Disney tales, unrealistic romantic novels and Hollywood movies has very effectively socially engineered people into thinking that marriage looks a certain way.
@briskettacos
10 ай бұрын
@@thematrix3663porn has done more damage than all of the above. Log off
@manifest2203
10 ай бұрын
Dude women are the ones who want a partnership. Most men only want “submission”.
@djpuplex
10 ай бұрын
Never wait on a woman never be a woman's backup plan. Leave. Divorce ASAP. When it's done it's done. These women will string you along without a care in the world. Don't allow that.
@megalopolis2015
10 ай бұрын
It couldn't be a mental illness, like the trained expert just said was likely. Not all women are shady and treacherous, just like guys. Sometimes people just need extra help.
@texan903
10 ай бұрын
She doesn't have a mental health diagnosis that he is aware of. For her to emotionally exit the marriage is odd. Perhaps she is having or has had an affair.
@Chet_24
10 ай бұрын
I hope he leaves and finds a younger, more attractive woman.
@blueravenchick
10 ай бұрын
Men.... ugh.
@briskettacos
10 ай бұрын
"WhY dOn'T wOmEn WaNt ReLaTiOnShIpS aNyMoRe" - also you
@EmoeccentricShawty
10 ай бұрын
Lol and then the younger one cheats with some dude on fb 😂😂😂
@RepentImmediately
10 ай бұрын
Most men would do well to partner with a younger woman because the maturity levels would be more aligned. Younger women also tend to have lower standards, more naivete, and weaker minds so for some men, younger women are the only option. I will say, tho that I've encountered quite a few men in their 20s who are more mature than the men I know who are in their 40s and 50s and those young guys are gravitating toward older women... I'm one of those older women who attract a lot of men in their 20s, as I still look like I'm in my 20s, and I highly encourage other women in their 40s to give younger men a chance....I think the economic anxiety that the young Millennials and old Zers have experienced has catalyzed their maturity and I'm really enjoying life with my responsible, healthy, gorgeous 28-year-old.
@megalopolis2015
10 ай бұрын
Hello, Tate worshipper. I hope you never age. *EYE ROLL*
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