I am an infj-T male, I’m forty three and for years I thought I was alone on this earth. My life has been run by feelings that nobody else ever seemed to notice or understand. I just started watching your channel today, you made so many valid points. I have had people my whole life tell me that I’m meant for something special or that I should write a book. But here I am at forty three a broken broke divorced truck driver. Now In my defense I only just learned about my personality about three months ago. I have always tried to better myself spiritually, mentally , and physically. I have hit a huge block in my mind and I don’t know how to move forward. I will try your technique tonight. Anyways you seem very confident and that is something I lack because I have allowed myself to be beat down over and over in my life. I see a strength in you that I crave. Anyways.. I hope to take one of your classes someday. Thank you for all you do.
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
Glad I could help Jeremy. One thing is for sure...if you see something that you crave then it always is because it's part of you...lean into it. It won't work over night, I wasn't always like this...keep taking small steps into a direction of your personal truth and fulfillment and you will see amazing improvements. All the best to you.
@jasminecontreras7341
2 жыл бұрын
U got this Jeremy ☺️ it’s never too late to get what’s yours in life
@monetarnie3841
Жыл бұрын
Start Tour own YT channel
@Heidi1466
Жыл бұрын
consider yourself lucky! we are blessed to be INFJ!🤗🤗🤗
@jeremymiller2459
Жыл бұрын
@@Heidi1466 been two years since I wrote that, definitely have come a long way, yes I do feel blessed now that I finally know who I am. Thank you, I hope you have a great day!
@justinael
4 жыл бұрын
My childhood was bad. There's so much to process, sometimes I can't even remember things, just feel them in my body. Last year I tried talking to my inner child. I had an operation when I was 5 and that's the first time I remember feeling abandoned. My mother was there, but I felt alone and unprotected. No one comforted me. So I tried to comfort the child I imagined. I told her she is safe, that I'm here, that everything will be ok. I was very surprised when I suddenly started sobbing hysterically. This really works.
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
That's exactly how do it...it works woders
@drblaneyphysics
3 жыл бұрын
wow I discovered that method too by study and trial and error, and yes it does work. I know it b/c it does fill me with tears of ... well... tears of joy and relief of finally being cared for, appreciated, wanted, and worthy. you are all of these. I usually revisit my past memory with my guardian angel behind me, explaining to me the purpose of the trauma, and she gives me tips on how to interpret it, and use the knowledge to help others, and to be given the challenge so i can empathize with those who also have this trauma. peace.
@amruthavalli1260
3 жыл бұрын
U did a great job!
@effortless4588
Жыл бұрын
How did you remember that
@justinael
Жыл бұрын
@@effortless4588 It was a big trauma, such things stay with you
@deborahwolff5651
2 жыл бұрын
I remember as a child I never fit in; I was alone on this earth and had alot of trauma. I never expressed or stuck up for myself and held everything in. I get jittery and have ajida in my stomach area when I am around toxic siblings because of all the negative, hurt and angry feelings I've never expressed.
@Leatherneck1057
4 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed as INFJ years before it became somewhat of a popular subject. I say diagnosed because I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The isolation, disparity I have sensed among others; that I thought and perceived differently and that I had to fake who I was to be accepted and then disrespecting myself for being disingenuous. This led me to feelings of inadequacy and that something was deeply flawed in me. Why do I relive situations over and over and even situations that never happened I live searching for the best, positive, outcome? My mind is constantly engulfed in this alternate reality and finding and staying in a constant “now” reality is very challenging. The fantasy is my default. However, I began forgiving years ago because I realized it is liberating and has healing qualities to it. Lately, I have been standing up for myself because I grew tired of being a narcissist magnet and now try to employ healthy boundaries against people who want to take advantage of me. I still feel like a child sometimes in innocence and I see value in what you said about protecting that child, not only from yesteryear but currently. You have a true gift for counseling and disseminating knowledge. Maybe this is a bit off topic but it just flowed out...another characteristic of good counseling.
@ShannonMarie123
Жыл бұрын
You’re comment explains exactly how I feel and what I’m going through also. People who aren’t really infj’s want to be one but a true infj thinks something’s wrong with them until eventually they find out they’re an infj and what’s really been wrong all along is society.
@Leatherneck1057
Жыл бұрын
@@ShannonMarie123 Hi Shannon, thank you for your comment. I have healed quite a bit since this post. I do believe that being an INFJ is special and I am learning to embrace it. Growing up INFJ is difficult because we just don’t fit any mold accepted by society and that raw strong empathic nature is ripe for vampires of the soul. I appreciate my nature and realize it for what it is…a gift.
@ShannonMarie123
Жыл бұрын
@@Leatherneck1057 I do too believe it is a gift and special but like you said growing up is difficult until you find out who you really are and your gifts. It is difficult when you don’t know because you see it as something wrong because you don’t fit in but really it’s a gift and I too am learning to embrace all my gifts🙌 Thank you for your comment also it resonated so much with me I had to comment.
@TheLordsbattleaxe
Жыл бұрын
I understand with some of what you said.
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
Are you aware of childhood traumas that are keeping you stuck in the past?
@blueharley86
4 жыл бұрын
Exactly! I'm 59, have severe CPTSD, clinically diagnosised in 1970, also a INFJ 5w4 MBTI test in 1979. Between the Ni-Ti loop, the constant thirst for knowledge, memories from childhood that infect the subconscious mind, life is and can be quite a struggle at times. Thank for the upload.
@annchurchill2638
Жыл бұрын
They occurred at the age of 2 and a half, to 3 years old, so hard to remember.
@imstillw8ing
3 жыл бұрын
I feel bad that your videos only target 2% of the population. You explained a lot of what I've felt all of my life. It feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders now that I know what's been "wrong" with me all of my life.
@marilynminer677
Жыл бұрын
2% of 8 billion is 160 Million people. just sayin
@user-wm3do3ob6w
5 ай бұрын
it feels so good to have somebody who gets you❤
@kevinm5792
4 жыл бұрын
I am kind of blown away after hearing your segment on imagining your current self visiting yourself as a child to mentor, protect, and care for. I started doing that in my early 20s, out of nowhere. These daydreams / lucid dreams were so vivid I can remember some of them over a decade later. This changed my life by empowering who I was at the time and healing my aching childhood self. Hearing you, another person discuss it was bizarre just now because this was something I always kept to myself , it became part of the alternate reality aspect of me that finds odd solutions to odd problems 🤪 haha Hearing you discuss it felt like a part of me was pulled out of an alternate reality and placed into the world.
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
😊 glad it resonated with you on that level 😉
@kevinm5792
4 жыл бұрын
😉 Below is a link to a beautiful David Whyte poem that aligns nicely with the message in this video. www.stevenkharper.com/startclosein.html
@leongliyang6946
3 жыл бұрын
I am a bully victim (other bully me and I bully other) it's painful to think back the childhood memories because everyone hate me and criticized me ... I know my heart won't change back then because there is non of the answer is my standard... my parents used 'harsh words' toward me , I know they are good but I took 'words' seriously used... I know what is good or bad but I was an outcast , I want to go into be a good person club but feel non of my standard....still full of hatred i see... I able to fight back because I try to seek spiritual, what is life and is it real and if is so real show me , I keep pray for confident ... I heard everyone said God existed and so do life existence and devil is bad... what so bad is devil ? Being curious, so i prayed wanted to meet devil but Jesus met me 1st in my night dream a vision chatting like a cousellor, since I was 12yrs old.... Wow, i get even stronger in learning spiritual, looking for answer and I can feel the devil blocking and bullying my way to came out from shell... Years passed , my head is outside of the shell... there is some bible verse for comfort me...to be spiritual mature and growth ; -Jesus accepted the rejected broken outcast people because is a Creator responsibility for poor soul that had no chance to be human , so Jesus came to earth to redeem the poor soul. ( is like you bought a car had problems and sent back to the original service centre/factory to redeem it) - sometimes we should thanks for evil things happened so that new good things will be a wonderful reward in future. -Evil things happened / is bad luck/ negative view; 'No!' why not replace the word 'is a new way to upgrade life standard or God upgrade earth living standards, like phone need update so that devil won't had chance to copyright or stealing it' -Don't feel shame guilt about sin , is just a little happy mistake , every day is learning moment before present to God standard (that's the standard I am looking for in the past, yes I feel safe , my soul is giving back to the rightful owner that had good responsible, what a relief ) I remember my teenage years with the last bully friend tease my personality , I fight back my most inner demonic is like a big test between God and devil... to whom I should follow because I had tasted both side, I was like a judge taste the food... so conclusion being good is the best choice for living life, worth it... Happy me just go with the flow now, I know Jesus Christ had set me free .
@twinsrider1
2 жыл бұрын
Very Helpful. I'm an INFJ and I am on the autism spectrum, which adds another layer of separation from interactions with people. I look at the video of the Rhesus monkey that was separated and raised in isolation, and say "that's me".
@stephenfegely
3 жыл бұрын
Trauma, takes on a life of its own for us. ~infj Stephen
@jordsintuitive2987
4 жыл бұрын
Big Big Big Love Wenzes🙏🏽☺️ Really appreciate this one
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
My pleasure
@berkaytugrel
4 жыл бұрын
You're changing my life
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
Remember YOU are the one who is changing your life, I am just giving you some guidance and direction ;) you got this!
@lilithstarnes9195
Жыл бұрын
That was a eye opener. Been trying to do this since 16. 20 now. And I didn't know I was missing one part to it. I tried looking back on situations to feel how it made me feel but didn't look where it was. Thank you.
@tordengudinnen8989
Ай бұрын
I love you wenzes, your like the archangel of INFJ's on this planet
@protein2426
Жыл бұрын
Infj-T and the only child of my family. Just can't stop from being emotional when I recall the memories when my parents fighting and I was only about 5 years old, hiding in my room, peering through the door. I had my childhood and teenage years spent in their quarrel and I'm skilled in closing the door and pretend nothing happened! I've been avoiding these memories but now I decide to write them in my notes, how I wish to comfort that child in my heart, 🙏.
@georgehopes939
4 жыл бұрын
♥️ powerful, it's no coincidence that I recently did the similar thing where I imagine taking care of my younger self. The information you gave just made it more clear for me. Thank you so much. You are great :)
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
Wonderful
@Witchmitch
4 жыл бұрын
I feel it in all three. Pain in my throat when i feel the need to say something and cant. lonely it the chest. pain in the tummy. My childhood was bad. I went through all the abuses through out my childhood. I was suppose to be abortion because my father had raped my mother.
@drblaneyphysics
3 жыл бұрын
aw I want to hug you. you are beautiful.
@Heidi1466
Жыл бұрын
i was very abused too we are lucky to be INFJ hugs and kisses
@lindateuling7862
4 жыл бұрын
Wenzes, I love the way you said to go back as an adult to yourself as a child and encourage, strengthen and protect that inner child. After watching and listening to the video,I decided to try this with a painful memory from my past and it helped a lot. I may have to do this some more times, but I know it will continue to be effective.
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
Great to read that Linda 👏👏👏
@dorlavegas
Жыл бұрын
I think my childhood trauma helped me come out of my introvert. I was an actual an throwaway child. I had no home or anyone. It was up to me to support myself. If I wasn't able to see what others truly were. I'd be dead! understand people and what they were capable of. Helped me through it. Thank God this throwaway child is an INFJ type.
@larapunk3532
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, we all live in a box, have to get out it!!
@superiorSam9718
3 жыл бұрын
Refreshing honesty, looking for an INFJ here btw. ;)
@Harisundar2123
4 жыл бұрын
Do you think that Frozen Elsa is an INFJ as well? The song "Let It Go"too tells the same
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
That song was so therapeutic for me...so I would say yes :) but in the end it's a made-up character :)
@shirleydaniels9310
Жыл бұрын
The death of my parents is what traumatized me the most I felt abandoned and life went from being loved to being in a narcissistic home
@hologenics1958
3 жыл бұрын
Just excellent. You wer so clear and precise about that child and the need to feel the anger. I'm starting to grasp why self-protection comes so late for us, by which time we've already been ravaged by other peoples' status games.
@marycain5668
4 жыл бұрын
Tough parents. I only remember the pictures. I wasn't taken care of...my clothes were mismatched. My Grandma saw it. My own Mother had to have had mental problems. She had numerous miscarriages & I was the only one who was full term. My parents decided to replace them with an adopted baby sister, never telling my brothers and I, just showing up with a baby!! Who does that! My oldest bro said We don't need her, take her back. He was 12! I was 7. I promptly got very sick [Munchausen?] for 5 years hospitalized many times ( due to the contaminated well water!) most likely from being replaced in my Mother's mind. Good points.
@drblaneyphysics
3 жыл бұрын
I so appreciate you teaching us how to forgive. the more teachings on this i hear, the more i understand how to actually do it. it's the most needed lesson for humans, in my opinion. so thanks and peace, carol.
@richardm.4997
4 жыл бұрын
I've been through a lot of childhood trauma (because of my peers),it took me a very long time and a lot of work to process and heal from it,but it's been so liberating for me.Itll be one the hardest things to do ,but it's so worth it! Excellent advice Wenzes!
@babysenpai3883
Жыл бұрын
In my healing approach , I actually prefer to keep in touch with the person that hurt me and shifted my life during and after my healing process. I do not let them go peacefully even if they want to I always manage to pull them back, give them a sense of belonging, I know I play them and that is the darkest thing about me.
@tinahalle3575
8 ай бұрын
I guess I just had to hear this at just the right time but suddenly today it hit just right. It was exactly what I needed to hear at this point in time. For so long I was one who thought “oh it wasn’t that bad” when it most definitely was. To say my story out loud to another it even sounds bad. My counselor told me I have had a hard life and to stop minimizing all I’ve dealt with. Not sure she put it in those words exactly but thats sure the gist I got. She’s right though . If I heard my own story coming from anyone else I would have thought wow, thats some hard stuff and thats a lot but when it came to myself I couldn’t see how it all was affecting me. I was curious about how it did but I just couldn’t see it. Marriage struggles sent me into depression which in turn sent me on a search of what the hell was wrong lol …..well I’m finally at a point in my journey where I am seeing more clearly and you have just helped me move on to the next step. I wrote a very long page in my journal last night about all the things I was carrying for everyone else (all their emotional stuff) that was weighing me down and making me sad. (My therapist posed the million dollar question. She said you’re always so concerned and caring about everyone else but what about you? How do you feel and where do your needs come in? So thats what lead to me beginning to untangle myself from everyone else’s troubles so I could finally work on my own). Writing it all out really made me see that anyone in my situation would be feeling sad and worried . That this depression and exhaustion wasn’t some weakness or flaw in me. I wasn’t chemically unbalanced lol….I just literally have a lot on my shoulders. I’m alway holding my own self up no matter how bad I feel AND trying to hold everyone else up as well. It was backfiring though. Exhaustion , lack of motivation, resentment ……I realize now , I have to get healthy first in order to have the energy for others and not only for others but to reach my own goals that I’ve been setting aside. So thank you , because after writing what I did and pinpointing the issues, I watched this video and now I know what my next step is.
@handleguy
2 жыл бұрын
An expert in this field of childhood trauma gave me a book to read about childhood trauma. I saw no problem with my past because I never thought about it. That meant that I had overcome it. Right? Big shock: I literally was unable to read the book. Around page 23 or so, I turned the page and everything I had already read suddenly vanished from my memory. All attempts to continue reading it vanished every time. I surrendered to the logic. I had repressed my past and my survival instincts continued to affect me in ways that I could not see. Psychology calls this denial. My work was clearly cut out for me. So, I dug in and discovered my real emotional reaction to trauma. Thanks to the help of mothers, I was able to enter recovery.
@ValkyrieMagnus
2 жыл бұрын
I remember as a kid my father would get in my face and yell at me and I couldn’t talk back unless I wanted more punishment. Fast forward to the end of my career a few years ago where I had a lead who got in my face and yelled at me and said derogatory things. But I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to lose my job or pension. I couldn’t change departments and so because of Covid Pandemic I was laid off. The anger is still there and burns brightly. I remember myself as a kid when this happened to me and now as an adult. My career aspirations are now dead and I am angry I let someone do this to me.
@tjjurake3506
Жыл бұрын
The words "I am angry I let someone do this to me" jumped out at me. This is the key to standing up for yourself. I always thought that someone would "rescue" me but you have to rescue yourself. I stayed in a toxic work environment for years because i had a mortgage to pay. It wrecked my health. Fifteen years later I am starting to heal. It is good that circumstances moved you out of that situation. Look after yourself.
@April.Wasabi
Жыл бұрын
INFJ; I like your teeth, you have a beautiful smile
@talonthorn
Жыл бұрын
This is spot on! This matches what I've come to realize. Still, it is really great to hear it from someone else!
@janamughal715
Жыл бұрын
i got out of the box and i am back in the box LAMFO
@Vivi_Chan1111
Жыл бұрын
As an INFJ-A , I searched for the typification for self development
@Msrobot3948
Жыл бұрын
Im an intj Ive been chronically repressing my feelings from the age when you're figuring out what is right what is wrong Now I'm just so confused I'm numb Because I'm just so fuckep up I'm trapped And I know It and I know that it affects me, I Dont want to face it that I'm really so powerless Id always think from a child There's always hope as there's the future But I'm exhausted And the flame is shrinking more and more as I lose my motivation
@yougotme7794
Жыл бұрын
I was extremely sensitive since i remember so i could realise emotions of almost every. I could always knew if someone liked me or not , and i when I went on nursery i was very lonely and i could even realise their hatreds and lot . Therefore i had to seclude myself a lot and it took me almost 14 years to understand what was going on and i still feel traumatised by so many things and yeah hope it all turn well
@maplenook
4 жыл бұрын
At some point it’s best to move on and turn it over to God.
@TheParez
4 жыл бұрын
That's just a fancy way of saying quitting.
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
Quitting what? Holding on to negativity and anger? If yes, then I agree :)
@Lulasz
4 жыл бұрын
Exactly. It is a process though.
@leolinox
4 жыл бұрын
Well its all about the balance between surrender and effort I think.
@doughalversen7913
2 жыл бұрын
I hope you and everyone can see the work of a narcissist, I'm going to be struggling with this di-program,for the rest of my life and all the readers can take notes for other strugglers
@jayasus2510
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much . I wanted to get rid of all these negative situations but didn't know how.
@Nix_Ulysses
8 ай бұрын
So does that mean I get to talk back at my boss when he's bullying me ? There will be consequences.
@galespressos
Жыл бұрын
Seems so about the trauma and trying to repeat it to solve it.
@sebji1979
Жыл бұрын
Thanks
@MichaelFG
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much this is one life you have changed. I really needed to hear this
@rachman.syahril
4 жыл бұрын
You're right, I've one time felt being abandoned... And it hurts in the chest area, the pain hit me regularly that I actually learnt to enjoy it, now everytime i felt it I actually enjoy it... Is it healthy?
@greyler7895
Жыл бұрын
i guess i am lucky that i can cope that good
@ceciliadsouza2549
3 жыл бұрын
Your videos are really worth watching!!!!😊♥️ and motivates me when im lost
@PoetaProfundo
2 жыл бұрын
This was so powerful. Thank you!!
@amandagarcia9022
3 жыл бұрын
Aww Wenzes; amazing content I had to revisit. Thank you!
@AmandaExpressions
4 жыл бұрын
Very helpful, thanks again Wenzes.
@KaySade321
3 жыл бұрын
Here to get myself out of my box 📦.
@bettbrian7633
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks a bunch Wenzes. This was timely😊
@svendahlsten3132
2 жыл бұрын
Yes my therapist just told mee that i have childhood trauma so its where im going to study now and se if i can heal or is it too deep and old thing she sed it was a sip test about 500 questshan to anser but thank you it had a reason whay this popped up for mee now today eaven if this video is from 2 years agoo 🙏🙏🙏🇫🇮🇫🇮
@leoralphvillamayor
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this 😢
@iknowsumthinyoudont5872
2 жыл бұрын
why are you making me cryyy :(((,
@_N0_0ne
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you kindly ✍🙂
@idithm1703
4 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for this wonderful video! What about painful memories that shaped us from a really young age and we can’t remember them? When we were two or three years old.
@francescos7361
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Wrnzes.
@TYSGHy78
9 ай бұрын
In my case , i want to be the adult that stands for the teen me.
@usernowhere4292
4 жыл бұрын
Great video, my therapist had the same therapy for me. But I am stuck: how to express your anger?
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
Watch my video on INFJ Anger 👍
@usernowhere4292
4 жыл бұрын
@@Wenzes Not easy but will try !
@jessmason2112
Жыл бұрын
That's 🔥.
@randomviews59
3 жыл бұрын
So thankful for your help🙂 Also, I wanted to let you know that I love the structure of your face! (Weird compliment, I know😁). Your mouth is so interesting to me and I love the uniqueness of it☺️ I do portraits of faces and I love to draw people who have these unique features!💖
@randomviews59
3 жыл бұрын
I could easily see your face on the cover of a high fashion magazine🙂
@rose_yts
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@christenw.1726
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@kaycevanveer212
Жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
@johnbobbitt6470
2 жыл бұрын
I think this takes for granted that your peers will finally accept you. That the trauma will stop. The majority of my trauma became with my very name. John Bobbitt. Every single day since I was 8, the worst treatment you can imagine. I copied, I endured. But that couldn't make people accept me. Just help me deal with being alone, and be patient in my journey to find love. Until eventually... I got left behind. A virgin. Undatable. Until my only options were some single mom who chose an a-hole. Never good enough for making kids.... Only raising other people's. Exceptions exist? Yeah... I turned down hookups for 20 years thinking that wasn't how you meet love, and that I'd find an exception. Damn was I stupid
@alexadellastella5247
7 ай бұрын
I do not believe in this trend of forgiveness at all!!!!!! You can simply let go and see from different perspectives without foregiving..... I get really tired of this push towards foregiveness as if it were a must in order to be free but it is not!!!
@user-rh3ve8bs7c
Жыл бұрын
A pathetic truth. That is most people, almost, think we ARE did it on purpose or just be dramatic. Ha.
@galespressos
Жыл бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@habib.n2591
4 жыл бұрын
Question. What if the person we need to forgive is a person we have slammed the door on, and also in my situation they are a narcissist and intentionally bring up the traumas that bother me most to hurt me. How do I try to forgive that. I still feel stuck in the box.
@Cooliemasteroz
3 жыл бұрын
It seems to me that if you’re an INFJ you’d be lucky to get through childhood or later in youth without going through major trauma.
@amruthavalli1260
3 жыл бұрын
Is that so? Why
@Cooliemasteroz
3 жыл бұрын
@@amruthavalli1260 mostly because they are so sensitive and misunderstood.
@amruthavalli1260
3 жыл бұрын
@@Cooliemasteroz ok i didn't get ur comment at frst, u meant if they don't have childhood trauma they're lucky right?
@Cooliemasteroz
3 жыл бұрын
@@amruthavalli1260 yes
@amruthavalli1260
3 жыл бұрын
@@Cooliemasteroz 😄 ya i read it as whoever is infj shud take themselves as lucky coz they're infj n they don't through much traumas 😂😅
@shirleydaniels9310
Жыл бұрын
Facts I just quit my job I was very unhappy in that toxic environment being a 9 to 5 slave is horrible the colonizers have really screwed us all over
@jkerk73
4 жыл бұрын
Wenzes, this is good advice for everything except sexual trauma. It's bad advice for sexual trauma.
@Wenzes
4 жыл бұрын
I am sure about that...in this case I wouldn't or wouldn't ever want to give any advice. This is something that has to be discussed with a trained therapist
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