The INTJ learns to smile because they eventually get tired of being asked ; " Are you angry?" or "Why do you always look mad?" When in reality we are just "Thinking" or "Processing Information"
@c.lurign3905
4 жыл бұрын
Ilee Carr natural rbf
@tehufn
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah my thinking face is murderous lol
@enclave2k1
4 жыл бұрын
@@tehufn For a while in my adult life, I thought everyone fakes emotions - because anything outside that norm is considered strange or weird. Further, the emotions I experience (at their zenith) are *rarely* around other people. As I matured, I began to realize - people actually like socializing, small talk, meaningless gestures, and niceties in general. I often hear of _"putting on your mask"_ and wonder how many masks does the normal person wear simultaneously given a certain context (work for example). So, to a certain extent I understand everyone fakes emotions in public settings. For me, even in private, close relationships, I will not engage in this behavior; unless for the benefit of that individual. Perhaps something in my youth has made me overly defensive. I even considered I may be a psychopath/delusional in some way (apologies for any misuse of psych terms), but simple conversations and research ruled that out. Edit: Further, the real emotions I experience while in public - I mask heavily. As I fear they would be viewed with criticism by others.
@derunterdrucker9910
3 жыл бұрын
I felt this on another level.....(INTJ here)
@BenRoberts12
3 жыл бұрын
its like saying all is good with me and us while expending the least amount of energy and time
@MattCookVideos
3 жыл бұрын
My favourite line: ‘You could get the wrong idea that the INTJ agrees with you’. So true. Sometimes I think people imagine that they’re enlightening me because I’m mostly just agreeing. After our conversation I think to myself ‘they’re not ready to hear the truth about what they think’.
@sophienotsofine
5 жыл бұрын
That INTJ smile is dead on. It's basically my social coping mechanism to " appear normal " so I can avoid being judged as cold and calculating which is something people can easily write off INTJ as.
@carletouk
5 жыл бұрын
Yes it has to be that but it’s nit a conscious thing we do. For me he was right about that also
@joyhuebert1219
4 жыл бұрын
I’m always trying to appear normal. Switch feelings on
@Trickydickysticky
4 жыл бұрын
Or you could stop catering to weaker people and do what comes naturally, be unapologetic about who you are. Its good for you. Perhaps this is the difference between turbulent vs. assertive intjs.
@Plinko99
5 жыл бұрын
INTJ here, I was offended by this, b/c I didn't want to believe that I could be so easily understood / explained. I hate how spot on this is. I'd like to imagine myself mysterious and layered. You cut me up and showed me to myself piece by piece. I feel I have been made naked and examined. Very humbling. Thank you.
@pugninja7037
4 жыл бұрын
James Arendt lol
@genericname7020
3 жыл бұрын
You should read all of the ILI discription on wikisocion.
@marvinbeachy1893
6 ай бұрын
INFJ ability.
@mandyvincent1439
5 жыл бұрын
I am an INFJ and my niece is INTJ. She calls me a LOT, lol. She says that I am the only one who seems to understand her and that I am the most honest person she has in her life.
@enclave2k1
6 жыл бұрын
My mind: "Humans smile in this situation, I should smile to indicate I do not despise him/her"
@alien8180
4 жыл бұрын
Same here😁
@jennahudson3420
4 жыл бұрын
INTJ here. So true! Haha. This is a statement my INTP bf would say too! :)
@edugui99999
3 жыл бұрын
Exactly the same as Mark Zuckerberg
@enclave2k1
2 жыл бұрын
@@BoyOnTheMoon- Not many people actually know me; I would venture that's the case for most people, as well. People are complicated. Just yesterday - an older woman, who I have been friends with for 6-7 years; insisted I smile. I was unable to determine the 'intent of the heart' / 'conclusion of the conversation', so as I stated in the op; I simply smiled. I'm surprised you've never been in the situation where you've encountered someone who, you feel, doesn't know you. Or realized through others that your reactions are abnormal and/or may have caused offense.
@eyes2jesus
6 жыл бұрын
INTJ female, age 40 here... When it comes to emotions and feelings, some have concluded that INTJs may actually feel emotions the most acutely of all the MBTI types. Whether this is accurate or not, I don't know. I can tell you why I rarely emote externally, other than my smile: I view emotions as private, and personally see them as a form of intimacy. Someone trying to get me to tell them my emotions is just as inappropriate to me as someone asking to see me without my shirt on. My feelings are my own personal business, and I see no need to share them externally, unless I see a logical purpose to it, of which I usually do not. I also prefer others to not externally emote in front of me, because I consider it TMI. This stuff includes people hugging me hello and goodbye. I'll put up with it, but would rather not. I find it inappropriate, and in a stereotypical INTJ fashion, prefer to be hugged only by my husband and children. I'd prefer other people to keep their hands and emotions to themselves. I am not cold hearted, nor do I bottle up my emotions. I just think sharing emotions, in general, is inappropriate and too intimate. My emotions are private. Anyhoo, that's this INTJ's perspective.
@srulyp.7428
5 жыл бұрын
Wowwwwwwww never knew there r (normal) ppl like me out there. Found out about MBTI less then a month ago. INTJ.
@unlogischesnichts98
5 жыл бұрын
A religious INTJ, a walking oxymoron
@yvonnecampbell7036
5 жыл бұрын
@@unlogischesnichts98 Hmm, I heard the same about an INFJ?
@unlogischesnichts98
4 жыл бұрын
@@yvonnecampbell7036 they mostly declare themselves as spiritual not religious, but honestly they will belive stupid shit, as long as it sounds meaningful
@Michelle-ke7me
4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for being soo courageous and open with your feeling.(🙂) I'm new to all this and looking everywhere to try and understand and your message was the first to be clear, right to the point and I really appreciate that. Happy Holidays to you and your family.
@rhoheta5243
6 жыл бұрын
In terms of being manipulated, I think INTJs can use their functions to avoid this most of the time. They are normally careful listeners and use their Ni to determine the unsaid implications of what someone is saying. Plus they are naturally skeptical. If, say a con man is trying to take advantage of them, they use these abilities to see right through them, most of the time at least.
@Cossaw
6 жыл бұрын
This ^ Just being naturally skeptical, and then analyze a situation until you either trust/not trust something/someone makes us/me not easily manipulated and used.
@subhabratadas4087
6 жыл бұрын
"..most of the time at least." ;)
@Cossaw
6 жыл бұрын
We're human after all ;: -- )
@ThePlatineist
5 жыл бұрын
We definitely try and I take it really hard when I notice I have been manipulated afterwards, so I naturally learn the shapes and forms it comes in quickly and come up with strategies to see this coming sooner and deal with it.
@godemarcus5133
5 жыл бұрын
Rho Heta Ne nemisis
@Tristen501
5 жыл бұрын
I'm an INFJ and this really helps me to understand the INTJ's out there. I watched the whole thing. :) I respect you INTJ's!
@svetiilija4666
Жыл бұрын
your pose shows you as a true INFj leaving no space for doubt
@s.u.5285
6 жыл бұрын
I would not call INTJ "a wall flower" but maybe a "fly on the wall". Observing
@bcazz5202
5 жыл бұрын
Spider. A spider on the wall.
@yvonnecampbell7036
5 жыл бұрын
Hahaha! Yep. Great nuance. INFJ.
@jamestravis7639
4 жыл бұрын
Well as an intj for instant at a corporate event held in the evening such a christmas party, i would show up half way through it, working the entire room making contact with the people i feel would benefit me somehow in the future, simply be seen "working the room" by the people i have no interest in or whom may have preconceived thoughts of me, and making sure to briefly make positive contact with the people NOBODY is interested in, moving with an alluring effortless grace as if I were the host of the party but still had and even swankier gathering to go to that know one in the room "not even the real host or bosses" new about and then leave FOR that party as soon as my first glass of disorono is empty. (Would never been seen waiting for a drink at a corporate function more than once)Its all a strategic ballet leaving an intriguing impression on everyone in the process. In reality heading HOME to finish a project in peace or simply take an hour bath and the rest.
@thissunchild
4 жыл бұрын
A lizard in the bushes
@quintuplebanned4267
4 жыл бұрын
S. U. I totally agree. I used to teach as a professor; had the students take the test for fun; you are spot on; they aren’t insecure
@ImmitterHead
5 жыл бұрын
As an INTJ I find your voice very relaxing to listen to.
@williampaquet6573
4 жыл бұрын
Thoroughly brilliant insights. You fully grasp our INTJ reality. This is the most salient overview of my life I have ever had the pleasure of listening to.
@kerryt.2026
6 жыл бұрын
I am an INFJ in a relationship with an INTJ. We watched this together, all the way to the end! He was impressed with how you "got" him, I am impressed with how much I recognise and how much I have learned and therefore understand better about my partner from watching this. There was nothing here that did not "land" with one or both of us. Thank you.
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
Great to hear that the info resonated with you both :)
@INTJIsland
6 жыл бұрын
This is a long video and so I want to do it justice. I am only 6 minutes into it so far. However, it appears that you are moving to a new concept at this point. So, right now, I will respond to what you have said so far, and then listen to more. I would expect that the rest of your video will be of the same high quality and will therefore probably comment further as I get deeper into the video. If I do it all at once you may end up with a book rather than just a comment. Yes, ideas are what matter to me. I converse almost always in order to exchange ideas, not to socialize. I don't want to hurt the feelings of others, but I am listening to ideas usually, not getting emotionally tangled up with the other party. When I am having a discussion I have two modes of operation. When I am listening I am focused and striving at my utmost to understand exactly what is being said. I will do all I can to set the context, draw in the facial expressions of the talker, and try to connect up what is being said with what I already have learned about the universe. Does this fit what I already know? Does it challenge something that I already know? Have I been exposed to this before, and have I already analyzed this information so that I can easily agree, or are there points that I feel are clearly questionable, if not downright wrong? My other mode is when I respond. And people find me odd as a conversation partner because I have a disconnect with what they hold to be "normal conversation." I don't just play "Ain't it awful," when someone complains about something I have already spent a great deal of time analyzing, and have identified causes that have created the effect they are complaining about. Instead of simply agreeing that this situation is bad, I share my evaluation of what is wrong and how to affect repairs. I have no desire to stand around whining about the world, I want to fix it. One of my fellow technical instructors once put it, "You are really difficult to talk to." The apparent openness comes not from a feeling but from a rational desire to take in anything that might be valuable. I assume that even a child might have some knowledge that I do not, and I am willing to listen closely to what is said. When information hits me it is treated as: 1) This is currently new to me and I can't know for sure if it is true or false, and I will need to look into it further--and I will, you can be sure, including asking questions of the one who has supplied this information; 2) This is likely true based upon what I have already learned, and I will probably be asking questions to learn more of the details; 3) This is likely false, and I will challenge it in a civil way with facts and analysis I have already in hand; 4) There is no point to this information that would require me to go deeper: either it is intensely frivolous, clearly without value to me, demonstrably true or false instantly according to previous knowledge and to challenge or validate would serve no useful purpose, especially if the one who has asserted the point has shown an inability to reason on his own and is merely parroting what he heard from TV or other people. This latter situation will usually lead to a very quick termination of the discussion. So much to learn, so little time.
@benp3616
6 жыл бұрын
[INTJ here] "The INTJ smile is experienced by others in a way that feels like an invitation to get closer or be closer....but it's not." That made me laugh...because it's true. I've been thinking for a while that Ni can sort of allow us to 'manufacture' Fe. Since Ni is largely about pattern-recognition, it recognizes patterns in people's faces, behavior, tone, body language etc. and then an INTJ can replicate those patterns to bring about a likely result. Now, this 'manufactured Fe' isn't really anything like real Fe, I don't think it accomplishes or is even really attempting to accomplish Fe goals. Instead, the 'manufactured Fe' is serving an almost entirely Te purpose. For example; (and this might come across bad but whatever) sometimes I'll employ the 'INTJ smile' if someone is ranting about something I disagree with BECAUSE I HAVE NO INTENTION OF ENGAGING WITH THEM ON THE SUBJECT. Now I always like a good debate, but if someone is ranting about something, it's not likely they're going to be fully rational or willing to listen to my perspective, therefore, there is little to nothing to be gained by arguing with them SO out comes the 'INTJ smile' which leaves the other person free to wrap up their rant and move along.
@benp3616
6 жыл бұрын
Forgot some stuff: I meant to wrap up my comment by saying that this 'smile' is still something that just naturally happens, I don't think "ok, now smile!" but it seems to naturally show up in these situations. And this gets more at why it's not an invitation to get closer even though it may look like that to some; it may actually be showing up as a result of and INTJ 'shutting down,' 'pulling back,' or 'turtling' rather than a 'real Fe smile' which would be more about welcoming the other person.
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
That makes a lot of sense re: INTJ Smile a manifestation of Te goals. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
@dday9433
5 жыл бұрын
I do this frequently, and sometimes consciously, sometimes not... It usually occurs in social situations (groups or one on one, but only with acquaintences) where I've learned (the hard way) that it is not socially "appropriate" or useful to be honest and tell people what I really think. From my perspective, however, such social appeasement (which is how I view the action) can sometimes "backfire"... and people ASSUME that not only I agree with them (I don't) but that I care about them and/or their opinions much more than I actually do. Then (if I care enough to be polite) I have to figure out a way to extricate myself politely. When I was younger, I was frequently confused about why people outside my small, close circle thought they "knew" me, and that we had a closer relationship than what I understood it to be.
@queenofeagles
5 жыл бұрын
Wrap it up!
@AntonyReed
6 жыл бұрын
As for Fi vulnerability, I am very emotionally in tune with ideas. My ideas and emotions are connected in a way, so sharing my ideas can be the best thing ever or painful, depending on the listener. I think this is why we can be very private.
@svetiilija4666
5 жыл бұрын
your type is ISTj though... take pride into your own type
@larapunk3532
Жыл бұрын
@@svetiilija4666 why? This it's bc of the Si? As ixtj have the same (te+fi) so they can have this same issue??
@svetiilija4666
Жыл бұрын
in english please!!!
@brendangolledge8312
6 жыл бұрын
I am an INTJ and I wrote this comment while I listened. I have responded to your ideas which I would like to clarify. I have not responded to most of the things you said, and that’s because most of it sounded relatively familiar to me already and therefore did not produce much of a reaction. That means that most of what you said seems essentially correct to me. About caring about being misunderstood: It hurt when I was a child and everyone was mean to me and I didn’t know why. As I grew older, I learned not to care about other people and to isolate myself emotionally, but then I found that not bothering to network or learn to sell myself at university contributed to not being able to get a job, despite graduating with honors in an engineering degree. Now at the age of 26 I seem totally unable to function in western society because nobody gives me a chance. I have only ever been able to find work by teaching English abroad, which is far from my first choice for employment. So the short answer is that as an adult, I would not care about being misunderstood, except for the fact that it makes supporting myself in my own country literally impossible. I tried to learn social skills when I was in high school, such as learning how to smile at the appropriate moment and how to make small talk, and I hated it intensely. I hated it more than anything else I’ve ever done and I decided after a while I would rather die than pretend to be somebody that I’m not. It seems like that choice got me permanently unemployed in my own country, but I still think it was the right choice. I found at a young age that most of the interesting conversations I had in my life were either online or with foreigners, because Americans are unwilling to talk about anything other than sports, movies, the weather, and how much they hate a particular politician. I went to teach English in Russia after failing to find a job after graduation in the USA, and I felt like I learned more real social skills in 6 months there than I had in my entire life in the USA. The social skills I learned were real because I learned them spontaneously simply by being around people, and because I actually enjoyed it. The average Russian is more willing to share his heart with an acquaintance than the average American is willing even to look at his own heart. Now my attitude is that I do not speak about useless things, which means that I deliberately avoid nearly everyone while I live in the USA. About feelings: When I was a teenager I did not understand my emotions and I did wish I could express them better. I felt very insecure about this for a while. Now I can express myself just fine, but I refuse to do it a lot because most people are unworthy of it. Yes, you are right that there is something going on between my Te and Fi. I learned to access my Fi through my Te. As a teenager I could feel that I felt strong emotions sometimes, but I did not understand why or even really what the emotions were. I had to study my external circumstances and think about how I might feel about them in order to be able to understand my feelings. Attraction to the opposite sex: For me, there is a minimum level of physical attractiveness that a woman must pass before I will consider her as a partner. Most healthy young women pass. Most of the assessment after this (physical assessment can take place in a single glance) is of her psychology and intellect. Problems in the world: Personally I feel like I have a pretty good understanding of why the world is messed up, and it is not correct to say that it is entirely emotional nor entirely rational in nature. Reason and emotion are connected and convoluted in most people so that each blocks the other from operating properly. I am getting to the point where I don’t feel like I have much of a personal stake in it, since the world made by man seems to have utterly rejected me, probably because I am not as insane as it is, and I would not be too bothered if a meteor came and ended it all. I am glad that I am mortal and do not have very many decades to endure all of this. Te Traditionalism If Te is traditional, then it is because the material world that it studies never changes. Judging deception. I am a fairly bad judge of character, but when I try to look for deception, I look for something incongruent between a person’s actions and his stated motives. Ni + Fi loop: The most common thing my Ni + Fi loop has done is make me neurotic by dwelling incessantly on my misery, and occasionally over reactive emotionally if I encounter a situation that seems similar to something that has caused me a great deal of pain in the past. It causes me fewer problems as I get older. Yes, this loop is negative because of relationship problems. Every authority figure in my life from my parents, to my teachers, to my government has failed me or even deliberately worked to make my life miserable at times. Many of my peers have done this too. These issues have never been resolved because none of these people/entities have wanted to address the problems, so I have resolved it by rejecting my society utterly so that I am no longer emotionally attached to it in any way. If I had not had visa problems, I would never have left Russia. Shame: I often felt ashamed when I was a child, but I have accepted that I make mistakes and this no longer occurs.
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing your experiences Brendan as an INTJ.
@MusicCrackhead
6 жыл бұрын
I relate to this so much. I’m currently studying to become an ESL teacher because I can’t seem to charm my way through corporate America. Everyone at my job knows I know how to do my work exceedingly well but because I don’t have Fe written all over my face at every moment I get written off as too reserve and direct. Smh 🤦🏾♀️. I really appreciate hearing other INTJ’s stories. For the longest I felt all alone in the world.
@alaysiakayebutler6299
5 жыл бұрын
Very insightful, very meaningful, helpful to those that do want to know what is happening inside other people. Its the kind of thing that is waaaay more interesting than the games played, personally like chess or something or professionally as distractions..and fake lives; perverbially, or on a flickering screen. People get into those, and they can't handle real complexity or simple honesty. Crazy isn't it. Boring too, if that's all that's offered. Or accepted. That's worse, imo. Good luck in your journeys, sounds like you have a lot to offer, and you are a blessing as well as blessed to be experiencing a greater vista !! Thank you for sharing and in that essence, caring :) that's cool, Brendan
@lisaia7877
5 жыл бұрын
I agree with all this. However personally for the smile, I did have to consciously practice the smile because I often struggle with finding myself in a nifi loop. Having to operate on the day to day finding the balance is difficult so often I found that people are fooled very easily by a sincere looking smile. So I learned to do that to help mask my real emotions when they're damn near overpowering and difficult to hide during Ni Fi loops. Aside from that I am a good judge of people but what I'm bad at is recognizing to whom they'll use what motives on or whom they'll be sincere with. Its not a matter of reading their essence and the type of person they are. Its about figuring out what type of person they would give respect to without b.sing
@DrVein
5 жыл бұрын
It's strange. When I open up to people without fearing their disaster for my peculiarity, I do exceptionally well. I worked for a newspaper once, experimented with just being myself in front of people, and I was up for promotion in just a few weeks. This required me to stay distant though, which was a balance I have a hard time replicating. I'm going for an engineering degree now, and I think I have a fighting chance to overcome this crippling "introphobia" the world seems to have.
@krismartikris4834
5 жыл бұрын
What puzzles me is that while I am an INTJ, and do love being alone, people will tell me their life story. This makes travel a bit difficult as whoever sits next to me will tell me their story. I have learned to put my wants aside and listen. I once asked a friend, who is a grief counselor, why strangers tell me the most intimate things about themselves. He told me it's because they instinctively know I will listen and not judge them - at least not to their faces. It was after that I started working in behavioral health as a health advocate because people open up to me and I am able to assist (and at times manipulate) them into taking advantage of the care available to them.
@dday9433
5 жыл бұрын
This happens to me often as well. People sharing incredibly intimate and/or painful details of their lives... it can be disconcerting. But it happens to my ISTP spouse as well (who is a good listener), so maybe it's just listening skills? Introverts are unlikely to interrupt or direct the talker...
@krismartikris4834
5 жыл бұрын
@@dday9433- I agree that it can be very uncomfortable listening to someone's problems but, as you know, these folks have a need for someone who will listen with an open heart and unbiased ears. They need to be acknowledged and, perhaps just as important, they need that one-on-one connection with a real person. A true friend is one you can call at any time, ask for help and they will drop whatever they're doing to come to your aid.
@NateOlson
4 жыл бұрын
The INTJ smile is just the result of the fact we're slow with processing the impact of a significant emotional event.
@NateOlson
4 жыл бұрын
Not slow. We're processing a lot
@gayatrimatapurkar933
6 жыл бұрын
I found your observation on this subject exceptional,brilliant and extraordinary, the depth to which you have gone was profound.... Dont t ever second guess your capabilities thanks.
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
That's for that Gayatri, much appreciated!
@brien.1810
5 жыл бұрын
In regards to the INTJ smile. Mine is most definitely fake. It's a natural habit now, yes, not from an actual smile-inducing source but pure strategy. Like you said, it's necessary in order to deal with the outside world. There have been times when my smile wasn't pasted on and I received comments about that; "Why are you so serious?" "Smile more", etc. I'm not a fan of these comments because it would then lead to explaining my natural and most comfortable disposition and the fact that I'm not sad or angry. It all turns into a line of questioning that feels intrusive, on top of being a waste of time. Thank you for a great video...still watching but I'm hooked.
@DrVein
5 жыл бұрын
I'm genuinely in a good mood or showing appreciation when I smile. I don't necessarily WANT to smile, but I do it to show that I'm human with happy human emotions. I think what it is, is that or brains lack this smile impulse that other people have when they're pleased. I think we get more pleasure from a cerebral or mental smile rather than a physically visible one.
@Kalryuabides
3 жыл бұрын
I still smile when it’s not appropriate, not like some psycho crazy mess, but when it isn’t exactly the “kind of smile warranted”. Screw em if they can’t take a joke. The joke is that after 40 short years on this earth, I still haven’t gotten it right.
@hollyscharf3911
2 жыл бұрын
INTJ here, in relationship with INFJ, it's an experience like no other!!
@deeb.9250
6 жыл бұрын
Since you asked for feedback :) I detect lies by inconsistency in what a person says, and have a good memory for what someone had said even if it was many years back. Also inconsistency in action and words, for someone's real intentions. This is Te, and acts like a first defense, in a way. Then there's the intuitive feeling that someone is just off. This realization sometimes comes immediately upon meeting someone, or after a few days or weeks of getting to know them. But a few times, I've stayed friends, or stayed in relationships even when I know they're rotten inside. Sometimes for years. I feel like that has been a huge waste of my time, and now try to be more selective. I think INTJs can also apply Ni on people, in a similar way INFJs do, to read individuals and groups. But the INTJ will do it only when interested in a particular person, or if a certain group interaction is important to their goals. Such as a business meeting, where everything has to go smoothly, and people's moods are important. The INFJ is naturally more practiced at reading people, because it's high in their function preference. But doesn't mean the INTJ aren't also insightful, but it's intentionally pursued, like the fake smile
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks Dee for sharing, makes a lot of sense.
@mattgunia942
6 жыл бұрын
Good video that resonated with me. I definitely prefer to be the conscious, observing wallflower not because I lack social confidence, but because I prefer to dissect everything going on. Also, I definitely nod my head when I'm listening to someone unpack their thoughts. So, thanks for pointing out to me that when I respond to disagreement it sends mixed signals. And, you are spot on with showing love by problem-solving for others. It was within the last year I (finally) learned that it is necessary to acknowledge others' emotions first (and exhaustively) before they can even hear ideas about the problem. Finally, with regard to manipulation, the "gut" and the "brain" have to confer with each other and be in agreement. I tend to trust people and believe they're being open and honest with me, so I listen to their ideas. However, sometimes my gut will tell me that this person is being manipulative or trying to sell me on something. The gut informs my mind, who sifts through the conversation, looking for inconsistencies. At other times, my mind perceives illogic or inconsistencies, checks in with my gut who says, "yeah, something's definitely off here" and a conclusion about this person and our conversation is reached. I find it interesting that INTJs (I've checked with other INTJ), when we come to the conclusion that a person is manipulative, it's a very solid conclusion. The case is closed and no longer open for discussion. We then either cut that person off or keep the manipulator at a distance. They have to work very, very hard to win our confidence back and it's only happened with me a few times. They have to overwhelm me with evidence of sincerity and honesty before I will feel comfortable categorizing their previous behavior as an anomaly.
@deen1843
6 жыл бұрын
As a female INTJ married to a male INFJ....I agree with your insights on dealing with a partner's feelings. Problem-solving has always felt like my superpower, so acknowledging someone's feelings first before 'helping' has taken a long time to learn. I find myself using metaphors extensively when processing the feelings of others and with communicating my own feelings. I would be curious if other INTJs do this as well.
@carletouk
5 жыл бұрын
I have to say to myself just listen . Don’t problem solve unless asked to
@DrVein
5 жыл бұрын
If not for metaphors, I doubt anyone would ever understand a single thing I was saying and vice versa.
@Cozmotrin1
5 жыл бұрын
I am an intj and have a esfj wife lol..the feelings run deep on her end. Anyway at the beginning it was very hard because my problem solving vs addressing her feelings was terrible. I have learned to hold my tongue with a quick solution. Really think on it more but then observe her emotions and then realize her emotions are the issue That needs to be addressed. Issue not in a bad way but inside she feels deeply about the situation more than she normally would about other situations there for the abnormality of this particular emotional outburst is what needs to be addressed by calming her down, relating or just showing someway I understand and that she is not alone only after that can I solve the initial problem. So hard to do lol and sometimes I fail but sometimes I do not.
@jamestravis7639
4 жыл бұрын
That is the most efficient way without being rude or having say too much..
@stephanies1474
4 жыл бұрын
Hmmm intellectually I understand the concept but feelings just screw things up. Problem-solving is also my superpower. My husband just cannot understand how it takes me two seconds to see a problem and come up with the fastest, cheapest, easiest, way to solve it.
@notavideographer
6 жыл бұрын
How to reduce pain in the world? Reduce stupidity and inefficiency
@lancar5637
3 жыл бұрын
I've listened to this twice, and your perception and interpretation skills are amazing!
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
Hi Everyone, This turned into an epic journey onto the INTJ world. I am hoping that I have discovered some interesting insights. In this video I explore the INTJ's cognitive functions, autonomy, INTJ misunderstandings, vulnerabilities, communication, relationships, Ni - Fi Loop, Fi development, and INTJ actualisation and a lot more.
@akumasdeception
6 жыл бұрын
Scott Morgan if you don’t mind me asking, are you an enneagram type 9w1? 👍 video as always!
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
Im glad you like the video. I type as a 459.
@Sibéal_NW
6 жыл бұрын
This has made me question my type🤔😊
@albodios7745
6 жыл бұрын
Scott Morgan i can only say thank you very much...you helped me understand and realized the person inside me....
@chasingblue8952
6 жыл бұрын
I really liked your insights from your point of view about the INTJ, and of course your own comparisons on how you view and interact with the world. During your video you mentioned about childhood trauma, the dreaded Ni-Fi loop, and trying to get out of it. Have you looked into addictive Limerence and how that, along with the Ni-Fi loop that accompanies it is impossible to 'extrovert' your way out of. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.
@MoPoppins
3 жыл бұрын
1:20:49 - Music is how I tap into my emotions, which is why despite not having others to turn to for understanding, I was always able to connect to my Truth. Being so sensitive, holding my thoughts & feelings in VERY QUICKLY becomes toxic, so I always knew to dump them out in healthy ways. I’ve always journaled, so my thoughts were validated-never by people I knew-but I never had to hold them in. It’s been my karmic punishment to have grown up solely around people high on the narcissistic spectrum, so it’s always been stressful, but I thank the universe for the gift of MUSIC-it’s been a lifelong LIFELINE. I also apparently always have a song in my heart, so SINGING has been a good way to keep my throat chakra from completely closing up, despite my environment. The combo of journaling + singing have kept me sane throughout these decades. MOVEMENT, as well. I’m not a great dancer, but am coordinated enough to enjoy it an keep up in a class. My Fi has always been strong-I figured out what I like between the ages of 5 - 7 (the knowledge came to me as downloads, or Ni), and being an authentic & honest person, my “I am” statements/beliefs have always been true to reality. For INTJs stuck in an Ni-Fi loop, have your go-to feel-good Te outlets ready to launch as distractions & solutions. No matter how I’m feeling, I never lose my ability to organize, so I might get to that thing I’d been putting off for moments exactly like this, where I need to busy my body, so I can process my thoughts & feelings. It ALWAYS leads to calmness & clarity. With experience, it gets easier-one of the many benefits of being a pattern-based thinker. 😉
@scott.morgan
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing Mo
@kylenki
4 жыл бұрын
Listened to you 2.5 times. Learned a bit between each time. Each time I listened it was truer than the last. Sir, you're good at this. Brilliant, even. Love you INFJs.
@soundimpact4633
3 жыл бұрын
As a God-fearing INTJ, a Bible believing born again, what astonishes me most is the lack of lovelessness and incredible selfishness of people. True love incorporates more than feelings. In True form I observe all of this around me. I will never say I have it all figured out, and God-fearing Born again INTJ's will understand how difficult all of this is.... Observing without judgment. Being able to see the big picture yet withholding pride. Trying to sort from what is personality style puzzle assembly and true prophetic gift. Always seeking to understand the underpinning and the source while realizing that the true source can never be understood totally. The constant dance between who's leading--knowledge and wisdom, or faith (not withholding that all three can coexist). For everyone though, true love is not a feeling it's an act of will... And when you choose to love you seek another person's best interest even to the point of laying down your own. "Greater love has no man than that he lay down his life for his friends." That's what Jesus did for us. Keep the faith.
@judael5605
3 жыл бұрын
I agree, that is exactly why I use the "intj smile" often because people in general have no clue what they are talking about, especially when they are talking about the so called love that they claim to understand etc, they are talking for the sake of socializing etc. True love have no boundaries, no hate, no envy, no pride, no fear, no suffering/pain. If you were hurt(by whoever you claim to love truly), then it was never love that created your friendships or relationships, it was rather selfish, conceited desires that started it while you here claiming it was all done in love. Makes me use the "intj smile" countless times when people discuss and claim to know such complex and devine emotion/feeling such as love(or any other big subjects/topics). Fun fact: Love is not limited to just your intimate partner(s), parents, kin, etc. You can love everyone and be thoughtful and gentle of their emotional or physical needs without having to 'betray' the ones you 'love'(such as your partner etc).
@AntonyReed
6 жыл бұрын
Very accurate description of our communication style. Everyone has something we can learn from if you listen (as long as it isn't idle chit-chat). Also, good call on when we tend to interrupt. I certainly treat others as I would like to be treated and will only interrupt if I think it is is important to do so, whether to correct a point, clarify, or to interject with a major inspirational insight about whatever we're discussing. So very true about convincing an INTJ. Salespeople haven't got a chance, but in debate, I have been known to gleefully concede my stance and happily thank the other person for showing me where I had gone wrong in my thought process. I'm a bit of an INTJ freak, however, since I have pretty medium Te with a well-developed Fi. I'm very comfortable with my emotions and although I am extremely introverted, I am often confused with an extrovert and can easily pull off hosting a party if I had to, though I would be wrecked for days afterward. LOL As for smiling, I would try to hold back when I was younger and awkward with emotion, but yes, in a way, I did have to practice letting it go and being ok with it. I wonder if this is a development thing? I don't know. I only know my perspective for this one.
@adrigrobler2746
3 жыл бұрын
As an INTJ I think you’ve got it spot on. Thank you for this. Also reminds me of why I get on with INFJs so well. Re spotting manipulation: for me it’s usually Ni that picks up on it but when Fi is uncomfortable too it’s a sure sign to investigate further. Te might be part of planning the strategy (how to cope with the situation). I see Ni as the sail, Te as the rudder, and Fi as the wind. Once Fi gets in on it you get real momentum.
@RahulDas-wn2bu
4 жыл бұрын
My emotion sometimes drive me crazy. It is a intense emotion, sometimes I don't understand how to deal with. I always think In my whole life that I am quite a sensitive person but people around me told be that I am a harsh, stubborn, selfish, dominating and rude person. I don't know how they come with that conclusion. I don't have any strong friendship with anyone. I sometimes feel I do want to form genuine relationship but if the other side is not serious enough I just cut off. I am cruel but I am also a sensitive person. I think relationship is more about respect than love, I know love is important but for me love is nothing without respect. A relationship which does not have respect, love, independence and purpose is bound to fail. I may not able to articulate my thoughts strong enough in this blog but that is my viewpoint.
@carletouk
5 жыл бұрын
So true about the smile . I don’t realise I’m doing it most of the time but sometimes I think why am I smiling all the time around people
@hollyscharf3911
2 жыл бұрын
INTJ female here. I have a permanent smile and have been told this all my life.
@dancass1759
5 жыл бұрын
Mr Morgan, Wow, what stunning work. Thank you. INTJ, author, athlete, etc. Wildly successful in all aspects of life except relationships. Your insights were fascinating. Thank you for your thoughts.
@INTJIsland
6 жыл бұрын
Part 2 This covers around 6 minutes in, to around 20:00 Quiet observer. Yes, and in a group I may stay in that mode, listening and taking in what is being said. I may ask a question for clarification or I may simply remain silent. However, in a one-on-one conversation I will listen and then contribute my ideas. And as you say, I can be abrupt. Also, when I get on a roll I can be lengthy in what I say. A deep idea is not usually conveyed in a single short sentence. And that leads to trouble sometimes. My son is an ISTJ, and he has truly hurt my feelings occasionally, because he is capable of trampling right over something I am saying. I once saw a little poster that said, “Oh, I am terribly sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?” I wouldn’t dream of doing that to someone who is sharing his ideas with me. I want to hear what is being said, and even more I want to understand what is being said. You can’t do that when you are talking over the other party. My ESTP wife bubbles over with things to say and she also has cut me off many times. I can’t say that I enjoy this, but both of these people are inside my inner circle and that is not a place that many enter into. That cuts them a lot of slack. But I know why it hurts my feelings. It isn’t rudeness that is bothering me; it is the devaluation of my ideas by the other party. My ideas are my treasures, and I don’t share them with just anyone in conversation. My talking to you about my thoughts is an expression of the value I attribute to you. And if you trample upon that, it is troubling, and frankly painful. As an INTJ, I deeply value ideas and I want to soak up as many good ones as I can before I die. So, I am as you say, a quiet observer, until it reaches the point where I find that counterproductive. I have no desire to proselytize unthinking morons to the higher orders of wisdom. I always run through two evaluations: 1) the ideas that are presented. Are they plausible? Are they useful? Could they be used to help understand something else? etc.; 2) the presenter of the ideas. Is he intelligent, showing signs of thinking about what he is saying. Can he be reasoned with? Does he have scope, is there depth to what he is saying? Are these his ideas? Or did he at least evaluate them? Or is he a parrot? Parrots can talk but they don’t make good conversation. On autonomy, you nailed it. I am only persuaded by sound ideas and clear logical reasoning. If your ideas are better than mine, I will embrace yours. But if I am expected to accept your point of view simply because you think it is right, you will get nowhere with me. Even less persuasive is when it is suggested that “everyone believes this.” I don’t value consensus at all. I value verifiable facts and solid reasoning. If you tell me that it is all settled, I will assume you are wrong as the default position, and work from there. One of my favorite Thomas Jefferson quotes is, "It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.” If you try and force me to accept anything as being true and valid without providing proof, you are attacking my autonomy, and I will not respond in a way that is at all agreeable. INTJ Sarcasm - My wife used to call it being “cynical” but she was referring to my sarcasm. Fortunately, she has a wonderful sense of humor and knows that even at my most sarcastic, I never intend to demean her value as a person. However, I am capable of using sarcasm as a verbal weapon when I am faced with a pushy unthinking intellectual clod. I fear that as the years go by, I no longer “suffer fools gladly.” I don’t attack stupidity, unless it intentionally treads on my “toe.” The only time I ever got my face slapped in high school, or anywhere else, it was because of a sarcastic comment, with no malicious intent. I didn’t say anything obscene, and I had no intention of causing pain or distress. But I unintentionally had hit a nerve. This wasn’t a romantic interest even, just a girl who was an acquaintance. To this day I am left confused about the entire event. But I do know it was sarcasm that was the active agent. I enjoy finding an alternate way of viewing something and expressing it verbally, and all the better if it is a bit shocking, in a civilized way. It has to have an intellectual component and I generally try to avoid outright rudeness, any form of crudeness, and I steer clear of lewdness. To be truly entertaining it has to have quality, where intellect and a new point of view are joined together in a sharp turn of a new phrase. When it comes to groups, INTJs are not painted on the wall, like a flower, we are merely avoiding boring noisy people and looking for intelligent quiet people. I have a lot of success finding great conversations with people at gatherings. Unlike wallflowers INTJs are alert, and observe what is going on. I can get everything enjoyable that I ever find at a party, in a very small group, even just two of us. At a party, when I am in conversation, there is no outside world at all. It is the exchange of ideas between one or two others, and what goes on outside of that bubble is just noise. Another aspect of being an INTJ, I always have something I am working on in my head. I may be working on an aspect of a chapter in a book I am writing, or the topic of my next KZitem video. Even if I were not able to find someone to talk with, I am still fully engaged, and when so engaged, I may not be observing the others at all. When I am present at such an event, it was brought about by my wife, who does love to get into the middle of a noisy group and join in. I go to make her happy. When I was very young and there were a lot of pressures on me to conform to the extroverted world, I did care about being different, because it mattered to my parents and others who cared about me. I thought I was broken or something because I didn’t enjoy interfacing with people who failed to ever engage their brains before they opened their mouths. I didn’t understand them, and they didn’t understand me, and everyone around me pointed at me as being the problem. That was then and this is now. I don’t care today about being different. I know I am different, and even if I could choose to be like everyone else I would never do it. I like who I am and if I am misunderstood, I don’t care. I never should have cared, and shame on my parents for not seeing that and helping me to appreciate my gifts rather than beating me up for not being a member of the herd. I try my best today to help young INTJs when I come across them to be proud of who they are, and to avoid internalizing all the garbage that is dumped on them for being shy, wallflowers, and introverted. It isn’t awful that you are like Sir Isaac Newton, or Elon Musk. Shame on you? No, sorry. There is no room for feeling bad about being who you are. I agree with you that with my very close relationships, I do care. My wife and I have been married more than 41 years and there are still many times when I am misunderstood. And so is she. I don’t understand her ESTP personality any better than she understands my INTJ personality. But we are madly in love with each other and even with the occasional bump in the road, the differences are overcome by our caring about the other’s happiness. I don’t understand her need to socialize, but I draw joy from seeing her happy. She has no clue about what drives my intellectual projects but she enjoys the fact that they make me happy. We accept, even though we do not understand. When it causes a small heated exchange, we get through it and move on. But that is really the only time it matters to me when I am misunderstood. In the general population it is like people from completely different cultures. Do you care if you are misunderstood by the other people? Unless you really upset them, you expect to be misunderstood, and it is okay. They are who they are, and you are who you are, and we just accept it and move on. That is how I view most others in our society. They are simply different, but it is okay. On the INTJ Smile, I realized a few years ago that I was smiling for cameras in a very phony way. It looks natural, because I did it for so long, but it was required, I thought, and so I did it. There is a difference between the affected social smile and the smile I get when I see my granddaughter running to me to give me a hug. The one was learned, but the latter jumps to my face straight from my heart. You are right on the money with that. As far as pulling people in with the Ni and the smile, I don’t think, at least in my case, that will lead anyone too far astray, because before they get too close they will run into one of my porcupine quills. I don’t lead people on. What they see is what they get, and I think they learn that fairly quickly. If it fools them at all, it is a short-lived experience.
@StealBackYourHeart
6 жыл бұрын
I am an infj who had an intj dad. This would have been very helpful when he was alive. It is helpful now to understand more...
@INTJIsland
6 жыл бұрын
Part 3 The INTJ apparent innocence is in some ways a facade. Ni and Fi are both introverted and so they are going on inside of the iNTJ and therefore not seen by the outside world. It is like a sleeping creature in a way. When it wakes up, it could be tiger or T-Rex, or it could be a puppy dog. It depends on the person, but you are not getting the real INTJ when he his in observation or INPUT mode. He is not giving off the signals of emotional activity that most people would pick up on. If he nods or adds encouraging verbal cues it is because he has learned that these things will extract things more easily from those who are presenting ideas. In a way you could say he is in an objective mode to all appearances, unless you got him angry. Like Bill Bixby said in the Hulk, “Don’t make me angry; you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” Another thing that is going on, is that the INTJ is thinking quickly as the presenter is talking. A mind can move far quicker than human speech can output words. So, I have time to listen to what you are saying, think it over and consider it as you go along. By the time its my turn to speak, I may have an entire analysis worked out to present to you in reply. Or, I may have run into various problems with what was said and be forced to ask for additional input before I can proceed to a proper response. Alas, my proper response could appear as rude and even confrontational, not from the method of presentation, usually, but by the content of what I say. If I feel you are saying something unfounded, I will tell you so. If you are strongly asserting something absurd, I will happily point out the absurdities, which you may find to be impolite. I do impolite quite well, sometimes unintentionally, especially when my mind is engaged in pulling an idea apart, to look at its components before putting it back together to see if it is truly functional. The only time this makes me truly unhappy is when I state my understanding of a presented idea and find out at the end of it I have left my wife in tears. This unfortunately has happened many times, and usually I am utterly confused as to what I did wrong. I was coming entirely from a thinking mode, but my words were hitting her in a feeling mode. I am sure you are familiar with the concepts of transactional analysis, it was all the rage years ago. I have no idea how popular it is today, but it has a great way of explaining this type of communication, because I am talking Adult to Adult and she perceives it as a “parent" talking down to a “child.” And I think that exact thing happens all the time to INTJs when they talk to other people. It is completely unintentional. Telling the truth as you see it, speaking as one adult to another, can go astray in so many ways. And that is one of the things that drives this INTJ crazy. Appreciation. You are absolutely right on this point. There are categories of relationships for INTJs. There is the inner circle. And herein can be found a world of exquisite ways of showing appreciation. I don’t think any lover is shown more variable expressions of love than is that of the object of love of an INTJ. It is a form of worship that anyone who has never witnessed it, would never believe was coming from an INTJ. But the level of appreciation is like an inverse squared, or an inverse cubed law, in the level of outwardly expressed appreciation you will see from an INTJ. The vast majority of people simply are on the outside and no part of the INTJ daily world. If an INTJ is with you, it is a display of appreciation all by itself. When an INTJ shares his ideas with you, that is a profound expression of friendship and a method of showing how much he values you as a person. Ideas are what float my boat. Ideas are what are important to me generally. If I express my ideas to you, I am giving you what I treasure. It is my best possible gift to you. If I am doing that to you on a daily basis, I am expressing as best I can my appreciation to you and my friendship with you. This may be one reason why small talk is so repugnant to INTJs. You could be receiving profound ideas and instead you hear about TV shows, media nonsense and other drivel. If giving a deeply worked idea to you is a sign of friendship and admiration, what then does small talk say about your value as a person? Where in the world are the INTJs? Inside our own heads mostly. I have a wallpaper on my computer screen that I created in Photoshop. It is a picture of a lovely forest path with light hitting the ground only here and there with lots of green above and a very empty dirt path through the trees, and in great big letters across the scene it says, “It’s a beautiful day… …To leave me alone.” People do get in the way, and the same time they are important, not optional. My wife has told me countless times, “There is never a good time to talk to you; you are always working on something.” And she is right. I have to mentally set my work down inside my head, and open up a space for her to share her ideas, issues, problems, or whatever. It is well that she loves me so much, because otherwise she could never put up with me. If I am awake, I am thinking about something, usually deeply. I am writing, planning, analyzing, and reading, always reading. With family, they are very important to me, but when they come to visit they are interrupting. I have to mentally make the time available, and cut loose from my burning desire to be at my mental activities. After all these years my wife, who knows me so well, is my gauge as to when I have been present long enough to have served my purpose to the group. She will then say, “It's okay Honey, you can escape to your study now.” All they see is a blur as I leave. The crazy thing is that I love them all. I would do anything for them. But none of them love ideas. I simply bore them to death if I try and interface with them about what I love most. I have a step granddaughter who I think is an INTJ and she will talk with me for hours at a time and not drift off, become bored or fall asleep. I don’t want to run away to my office when I am talking with her. So, it is not just people who seem “optional” to an INTJ, it is what I suppose most people would call “normal” people. My cousin and his wife have house guests living in their home. I think it has been nearly non-stop for 40 years. It has been different people too, some related and some not. I would go absolutely crazy living like that. My house is very much like an extension of my head. My study is truly protected, but the house is right behind. The only person I let inside is my wife. All others are always temporary and it doesn’t take long before it is time for them to leave. A week or two is about my limit before I am around the bend. Normally a few hours is more than enough. My number one escape when I am trapped in any situation that is overcrowded is to leave. I will go outside and walk around by myself if it is too noisy to find a corner where I can think. Here is something that might show how I view things. My wife and I have often joked about our different ideas of what a heaven would be like. I told her that my idea of heaven would be a quiet library that is filled with an infinite number of interesting books. She said her idea of heaven was a carnival or a Disneyland with an unlimited number of exciting rides. We both agree that we will visit each other. Then she would say, “I’m going to the fun heaven.” And I replied, “But mine is the fun heaven.” We always laugh but I think I that pretty much sums up the differences in motivation of an ESTP vs and iNTJ. Your point is bang on the dot about an INTJ not feeling precious or special as part of this process of being alone and having our space. What it is, seriously, is just like you feel about your eyeball. You don’t think your eye is better than anyone else’s eye, but you by golly don’t want anyone putting his finger into it. That is how I view my safe and private space. It is mine, it is critical to my happy existence and I will protect it. But it is definitely not, “I have my space and you don’t, ha ha.” It is like breathing. It is simply necessary. And to let anyone into that space, means that they are, in my view very special indeed. My little grandson can run into my study and take me by the finger and lead me into the living room to play a game, because I love him dearly and he is very special. My granddaughter can come and knock on my door and request almost anything it is in my power to give, because she is very special. But even they don’t play in my study. Last night I had my grandson on my lap and I was showing him the stars in the sky on my computer using a program. But when he got tired he left my room.
@laurenwinters6897
4 жыл бұрын
WOW! This has been one of the most accurate understandings of the type for me!!! Thank you! Now I can send this to new people to get them prepped LOL
@INTJIsland
6 жыл бұрын
Part 2 of part 2 (There is a limit to the size of a comment) This goes from 20:00 to the 23:00 point Vulnerability can be an issue. And you are right, it is terribly complicated. I feel best when my emotions are kept in check. I thrill over things, but they are things that make sense to me, like Beethoven’s Ninth, or when my wife hugs me. When bad things happen and bad emotions start to run free, I attack them intellectually. I search out the cause, and try to make sense out of them. It is like having your home infested by mice. I want to stamp them out. I have found that when I completely understand something, it stops hurting. I am an Enneagram 5, and one of the driving motivators for that is “Avarice” and I found that the deep pain I felt over two events in my life that had troubled me for decades was completely erased when I learned that what I was hurting over were abstracts, commitments and relationships that inside my heart I felt were rightfully mine, and they were taken from me. It wasn’t at all what I thought it was. What I lost was not what I had pictured for all those years. As soon as I understood what I was deeply upset about, and why, the pain evaporated, and it hasn’t come back. And this epiphany just came out of the blue to me, when I was exposed to the idea of avarice, and how it could be applied to non-physical things. It was Ni at work I am sure. I suppose I am turning my Fi over to my rational side, because my feelings are not able to deal with it on their own. However, I don’t tend to analyze the happy side of life, that I can enjoy straight with no analytical chaser. The only caveat to that is when there are complications to the happiness. Many things bring baggage along with them and then they have to be understood to be properly worked into my life. With people generally, I just close the door when they treat me badly. I love that line in the movie Scrooged, when Bill Murray said, “Scrape ‘em off.” They can’t emotionally hurt me unless they are close to me. So, vulnerability is selective, and fortunately limited.
@pugninja7037
4 жыл бұрын
INTJ Island ❤️
@adhistie1694
2 жыл бұрын
I love your channel sir, INTJ island. And also this channel
@derrickholm
3 жыл бұрын
I think with the smile portion is something we work on throughout ours lives to appear more approachable.
@kimberlydonaldson4904
4 жыл бұрын
I identify with this video especially using music to connect with my feelings and my home as an extension of my mind. I use the paradox abd contradictory components in my work and find them stimulating. I hate making mistakes due to the strong negative emotions. My smile is genuine and frequent now that I am older and comfortable with myself 😊
Part 5 of 5 I made it to the end! I don’t accept that true paradoxes exist. Therefore, when I come up against one that appears to exist I start by assuming that either one or both of the two opposing propositions is either outright false or at least perceived incorrectly. I don’t believe that both A and NOT A can simultaneously be true under any circumstances. Even at the quantum level once observed it is either A or NOT A. We may not know before which it is, and we may not be able to predict it, but in the end it will be one or the other not both. My mind is quite comfortable with tabling an evaluation of a concept until more data comes in. I can have paradoxical views in my head at the same time but I do not accept them both as fully valid. Instead I view them as unknown at this time. If I know that A is true I know that NOT A is false. But I can hold both A and NOT A in my head as potentially true until I can know enough to evaluate at least one of them properly. Contradictions in humans is really a redundant idea, don’t you think? We are walking bundles of contradictions. Today we like this person tomorrow we dislike him. Today this seems good, tomorrow it may seem bad. It is a mess to be sure. I am not sure if I buy the sail and rudder analogy. Ni is a perceiving function and it does supply the data for Te to use. Now, wind has a direction and it is easier to sail with the wind than against it. But what directs the mental wind? That is a very pertinent question I think. Why did I spend all day with your video and jot down my ideas. Was that Te or Ni that made that happen? I know I watched the video to see if I could soak up information for my Ni. But what triggered the rest? My Ni pushes me around from topic to topic and I can’t find too many topics with any sort of depth that are not at least somewhat interesting to me. It pushed me here. Did my Te then direct me to leave comments? And if so, was it the wind that blew me here and made it possible or the rudder Te that did it? Maybe. Whatever did it, it has done it to me all my life. You might think that the look on my face says that I am angry at you when I am only intently listening to you. I think they call it the INTJ “death stare.” But when I am alone and simply concentrating on an idea I think the calm eyes and stormy Ni is pretty accurate. That is very true about the nodding. A nod means you have been heard and understood. The one time I might interrupt you is if what you are saying has become unintelligible to me and I need clarification. But a nod indicates that I am following and I would like you to continue. I hadn’t really thought about that before. Good point. The way I look at Ni and Te is that Te is interested in what works. It is sort of like random mutation and natural selection. Ni gives you all these possibilities and Te helps decide which of them can be applied right now to accomplish something. My ESTP wife is just so as you describe an ST type of thinker. When she makes a decision she is rigid and sure she is right. She doesn’t ask for a second opinion. Of course I give her mine if I think she is incorrect, unasked, but that is a different topic. That is an interesting point. I think you are quite right. My primary defense against manipulation is a boneheaded skepticism underlying my worldview. If someone is trying to use my emotions as a lever to get action out of me, my default assumption is that they are lying in order to get something out of me. I need to be convinced with facts. And I have very little sympathy for someone who did something stupid and wants me to bail them out. If they overslept then they are going to be late and it is not my fault nor my responsibility to fix it, unless I choose to. If they spent all their money, they don’t get to spend mine as well. I kind of doubt that I would be the go to guy for most manipulators anyway. I really am not the guy a panhandler type wants to approach. He would be looking for a cube of ice to find some warmth after that encounter. My Fi is usually kept well in line. He only gets to run out and play freely with my wife and my grandkids. In social gatherings, he doesn’t show his face much. People get my Ni-Te side of things for the most part. The fact is I don’t go looking for new friends, and I don’t usually find them either. Even if I find a really stimulating conversation at a social event, it is a completed conversation when I leave. I have been caught in a negative emotional loop before, but I had my thinking included in the process. I struggled with understanding how something could have gone the way it went, and felt terrible about it, wondering what could have caused it, wanting the fact it happened to go away, feeling terrible about it, and so on. But it was thinking and searching for knowledge, and finding it, that broke me out of it in the end, combined with the Ni. The Fi is just plain stupid I think. It seems like a thumb that keeps getting in the way of the hammer when your driving nails. At least the painful side of Fi. The happy side is pretty darned wonderful. You surprised me with the INTJ shame point. I’m not sure why but I wasn’t expecting that. I had something happen to me years ago that was effectively a half million dollar mistake. I was at a customer site, and I was a field service engineer for an ion implanter company. Due to my actions a number of silicon wafers with IC chips partially completed on them, were dusted into powder. I had a very high standing in this area at the time, in fact I had previously taught this area of expertise at the factory school. So, this was devastating to me. I spent the next two days pulling the machine apart and cleaning it up. (Only someone familiar with a class 1 cleanroom environment can appreciate what dusting a dozen 8-inch silicon wafers into a huge and long high vacuum chamber would be like to recover from.) When I got finished that machine was the cleanest and best aligned machine in the building, and the manager for their tech area told me that I would be welcome in his center to work on his machines anytime. It was like total forgiveness coming from a customer that way. I still shudder at the stupid mistake, but I never felt shame after that day. There was no hiding it. All I could do was pour myself into the task of fixing it and did I ever do that. And you are right, that event stood alone. I always prided myself in my professionalism and made few mistakes in my job, because I worked so hard to avoid them by thinking before acting. I have “written” an entire chapter of my book in my head when I was in bed and supposed to be going to sleep. It is hard to shut my mind off. I love to take long walks and they can be very mentally stimulating even though it might be in the wind or rain and hitting my Se very powerfully. But a good walk in some interesting weather can bring all parts of my mind into action at the same time and make a whole. I enjoy it, and my Fi is alive and my mind is hitting on all cylinders. There is no doubt that certain types of music really do bring out the emotions and feeling. It can feel like something physical is running around inside when music really moves me. That is a good point. Something else that I have found that can wrench my emotions strongly is writing fiction. I have literally had tears running down my cheeks when one of my characters is in emotional distress. That is so unlike me otherwise. But writing fiction has opened me up like a can opener, and I find that I will thrill with the joy of my characters and suffer with their pain. I feel deeply in that world I have created in my own mind, like I seldom do in the real world. It is good therapy for me. The human mind is quite interesting to say the least.
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks for taking the time to respond to the video. I have read every word, and it helps to further understand the mind of the INTJ. As you could imagine, I greatly appreciate you sharing your experience in marriage to an ESTP. Your screensaver "It’s a beautiful day… …To leave me alone”, left me laughing.
@INTJIsland
6 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing your appreciation. I enjoyed your video. Also, I am happy to give you a laugh. Even my ESTP wife laughs when she sees my wallpaper. She knows me well. Poor girl :^)
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
:)
@Cossaw
6 жыл бұрын
haha xD
@saradejesus1276
4 жыл бұрын
44:34 a) shut down the logic b) triggering the feelings with external stimuli. c) Trust.
@boondoggle4820
4 жыл бұрын
I tested as an INTJ, and much of this video hit squarely on the head of the nail for me, particularly the part about music providing a free and open space for me to process emotions. Having no one around allows me to disengage, and music is one of the key ways for me to wholly process emotional ideas, but that solitude is key.
@sirlancealittles
2 жыл бұрын
The Difference Between a INTJ and INFJ I never noticed much of a difference between a INTJ and INFJ. Both dislike superficial people yet frequently end up marrying one. They are sweet, adorable and caring individuals. But no one actually likes being around them for protracted periods of time. You cannot outsmart these MBTI types. They are extremely observent. Most can identify your intentions and motives within seconds. Sometimes even before you speak. They give Clairvoyants a really bad name. INFJ's have a problem being around large crowds of people. INTJ's have a problem being around anything that is breathing. A INFJ will lament that none truly understand them. A INTJ doesn't care what people think unless it interferes with their plans on world domination. INTJ's have friends with 'benefits'. INFJ's have 'benefits' with no friends...I don't know means so please dont ask. INFJ's will scream "Geronimo' when skydiving from a plane. A INTJ will yell, "You forgot your parachute moron!" Cannibals won't eat a INTJ because they are high in cholesterol and avoid INFJ’s because they not Kosher. INFJ women are the epitome of grace during a relationship breakup. INTJ women collect men's testicles in a small glass of water by the bed, much like an old woman keeps her dentures at night. Needless to say aggrevated empaths are nothing to fool around with! INFJ's are refered to as 'The Counselor'. INTJ's are refered to as 'Innocent Until Proven Guilty'. Thank God I'm a ENTP
@franek_izerski
4 жыл бұрын
When you're in a constant mode of observing, you can feel the smile internally, but forget to allow the smile to emerge outwardly. If you become aware of this, you can consciously decide to allow the smile and put people around you at ease. And then you learn that smiling can be very useful in social interaction, but it must be authentic, as having authenticity is a core value. Therefore when INTJ smiles it's authentic, but consciously allowed to emerge.
@dillondelgado2059
Жыл бұрын
We do and don't care that people misunderstand us. It starts off painful in childhood, but grows to a combination of amusement, frustration and understanding in adulthood. Love how well you understand us. Everything everyone else has been saying 👌
@cjh9696
5 жыл бұрын
INTJ here. I never thought about the smile until you mentioned it. I taught myself to purposely smile genuinely so that people would understand me better and to build comradery. Life's too short to be misunderstood or unnecessarily awkward.
@jten4478
4 жыл бұрын
For the deception aspect: it often seems like I am picking up a range of possibilities for what the other person's intent is, and as the conversation continues I am narrowing down the possibilities for what they are after or trying to convince me to do. Picking up deception doesn't necessarily come down to eliminating all the other possibilities, but in seeing that the possibility for deception has not been eliminated... this can lead to feeling distrustful of some people without necessarily having a reason to, though I like to think that it hits more often than it misses.
@tehufn
4 жыл бұрын
I don't let people finish thoughts because of some gem… it's because I want the full picture.
@heathergrahame9647
4 жыл бұрын
You had some questions about what the INTJ does when they see the problems of the world. My perspective may be slightly different because I am a female INTJ, but I'm acutely aware of the feelings of others. And if there is great suffering in the world, I feel it very deeply. Like others, I want to extend my love out to those who are suffering and I want to reduce the suffering in the world. But the way that I extend my love is quite different to most other people. I try to solve the problem which caused the suffering in the first place and I do it in a very analytical and detached way which really is quite emotionless. And so I look at the suffering and the feelings of others as data which informs me and which goes into the complex jigsaw of interconnected elements in which I see meaningful patterns using my intuitive function. By going deep into my own integrity - and integrity is a BIG DEAL for INTJs - and tuning into what I really feel is true or good within myself, I'm able to magically see solutions to the problems. But to be able to hear the inner voice or see the inner pattern, I need to not be around external noises or distractions or other people's opinions for a while. I need that alone space. Once I've dipped into the great genius of thought, I'm then happy and excited to share my insights and solutions with others, and I get a great deal of satisfaction from seeing their lives be happier and easier as a result. Just on the topic of integrity, I am most offended when someone falsely accuses me of something. My integrity and depth and ethical nature as a person is one of my greatest strengths, so when someone judges me or accuses me of being a liar or a criminal or having nefarious motives, I get super annoyed.
@lexiferenczy9695
Ай бұрын
Your insights are truly amazing, very rarely have I felt so well analyzed and understood as an INTJ. Regarding your question about how INTJs react and feel about the world and its many problems, I can only speak for myself but I've observed that I don't like looking at the cruel/ hopeless aspects of the world and when I do, it's because I see it as an "opportunity" to grow into something stronger. But when there are things that are purely negative and nothing else, I can't really deal well with it. I think I just want to protect myself from feeling the emotional pain too much and that's why I often react maybe somewhat "immaturely" for a lack of a better word and can't be bothered much with the negative and people's tragedies. I see myself as a child in a way that has a hard time accepting that there are bad things in the world and maybe that's Fi manifesting as a third function. We INTJs are innocent in our 3rd function but that innocence probably can also lead to this denying, defensive ignorance. Maybe a child needs to be somewhat ignorant to not become bitter and to preserve its inner magic.
@Zenparticle
5 жыл бұрын
As an INTJ, I am able to relate to what's being said in this video, it's suprising how much insight about INTJ is given here. I wanted to make a special note about the smile. I do smile at strangers, I think that it reflects a real part of me that wants to be open to others and it's also polite. Kind of like I'm passing through life with the smile as a sort of peaceful greeting and shield.
@s.u.5285
6 жыл бұрын
Concerning picking up deception and manipulation. I pick up deception by picking up patterns of unusual behaviors overtime then come to a judgement I am being deceived.
@vaportrails7943
4 жыл бұрын
15:49 No. Being misunderstood is a massive frustration for me as an INTJ. No matter who it is. 17:52 I'm not good at being fake. I need to smile more, and the fact that I don't is probably an issue for me.
@coolbreez
8 ай бұрын
As INTJ female, my eyes became a bit teary a bit in a few minutes in this video, i felt very well understood. You have described this much better than I can ever do. About someone giving space for Ni, Te will allow us to get into Fi and a sort of self actualization; I have experienced this. It has been such a powerful experience that it has just brought everything, that I had kept hidden thinking that I am a misfit, out. I have felt all range of feelings and indulged in sensory experiences that I never bothered to care/worried about. I dont know how to explain in psychological terms but it has been a life changing experience. It has also made me so emotionally vulnerable to the person that has given me independence and trust to express my ideas and work in the first place. Sometimes i think I should share the details of what I experienced and get a psychological commentary on it to learn how my mind/N/Fi actually worked through this experience. Music really helps me feel, stops my mind from thinking...Music gives words to my feelings and lets me connect to my heart and gets me out of pain slowly. You explained it nicely, deeply!
@lancar5637
5 жыл бұрын
This is easily the best analysis of INTJs that I have ever read or watched. I am stunned and not exactly sure how you gained such incredible insight to the function of an INTJ Scott. Bravo, excellent content and analysis.
@carletouk
5 жыл бұрын
Me (INTJ) and my INFJ friend had a deep understanding of each other
@SD-rm5ty
Жыл бұрын
I'm glad I came across this I don't know why I hadn't before, as an INFJ I understand now and INTJs we are so much alike. ❤
@Fckyouification
2 жыл бұрын
This guy nailed it. Wow. Only person I can say whose done it so far
@matheusjurgensen8840
5 жыл бұрын
One thing about caring or not about being misunderstood is how active our role is in the interaction. When someone misjudges how I act or how I interact with others it's not an issue. When someone misunderstands what I'm saying or what I'm doing in relation to them it is a big issue. Also it's quire funny learning about the different cognitive functions and realize some things I've done. My favorite example is the "sledgehammer advice". Solid ultra objective advice with a deep insight that can be so deep and offensive that it can bring others to tears. That coupled with the sentiment in the first paragraph brings immense frustration. "I'm trying to help you, not upset you".
@abadi173
5 жыл бұрын
wow you really are good, im impressed , almost everything you said is on point, if only i had an INFJ friend to help me get in touch with my Fi more.
@se7en6ix2wo4
3 жыл бұрын
@5:00 I never saw it that way but I believe that is accurate. I am very open to new ideas and problems and very focused on solutions and effectiveness. Cut the INTJ some slack bc they only make up less than 3% of the planet's pop. If you need a shoulder to cry on, turn literally in any direction to tind a feeler, if you need hard answers and serious solutions, then ask an INTJ. @6:00 incognito. @7:30 in that sense, we are more like snipers. @14:00 yes and I would add that, for me, my intuition gives a quick sense of the room and I often choose the least energy-consuming route of being present or participating but that being said I am confident that in a good short burst or just for a second, I can choose any position I like; I can come in appearing all smiles and very loud and extroverted but there'd have to be a good reason for it. If it's a speech don't count on more than a few minutes before I start to get real. I could give a hell of a toast, jump-start the party but don't expect me to carry it unless my wineglass stays full. Im just saying an INTJ can surprise you and a good one cannot be detected as INTJ. @17:00 smile, is not fake but it is an 'effort'; one that comes much more naturally to other types and people. @24:00 I dont think its so much vulnerability as it is an openness to how we absorb information, we want to see it on equal ground and as level as possible before Judgements are made. I think vulnerability is the emotion in a way that we look at things objectively but some sense of it strikes past our emotions. We are not robots, its just that our emotions are checked-in on way later down the line but it is checked - they all probably are. For feelers its as simple as new information being firstly filtered through how they feel. @28:00 I have to call on the less than %3 "privilege" (this seems like the only circumstance it could be good for..) We are navigating a world not made for us, not welcoming or understanding to us. The social barrier is bigger than sex, orientation, or race, or religion because almost all humans can find their people, or family, or community, a church a sanctuary, a group, friends. Even prisoners can find solidarity. @35:00 to put it simply, we are likely looking for someone who is simply capable and in control, someone who can be reasoned with and we can see ourselves working alongside, the stronger we can become, the better. Someone who values logic (bc we do have feelings).
@yolanda.martinez
3 жыл бұрын
When you speak of the world's problems and the INTJ's perspective on it, I personally see the state of the world as a nonsensical cluster**. Like, "How can this even be happening? It makes no sense and it blows my mind." After that, I feel empathy, see people suffering, and want to understand how things can be made right.
@JN-kg7jx
3 жыл бұрын
INTJ:Often dealing with people who don't get them; and so INTJ doesn't get to practice much feeling safe.
@IAmNumber49
5 жыл бұрын
We developed the fake smile, because something that is said is not that important to us, but has importance to the person talking. So it is fake for a reason. It is how we show respect, sometimes, most especially in a social situation.
@devilinthebelfry7292
5 жыл бұрын
The Ni openness you talk about has really made me think back. I am an INTJ. Many times, especially when listening to peoples wild theories or religious beliefs, the person speaking to me will take my quiet observation as agreement. Especially because I learned, very early on, that my ethos does not mix well with the status quo which evokes anger in most people. This is one of the largest mistakes anyone can make. If I haven't responded, it's because one of two things. I don't find you capable of taking in my point of view and not getting pissed at me. Second, I haven't finished mulling over the idea in my head, mixing and checking it against related information, and finding my own conclusion. Weather or not it aligns completely with yours. Wen it comes to the Fe smile. I learned this early on too. I experience this a lot when receiving gifts. Even to this day at 29. Its not that I'm not extremely honored that you got me a gift, Its like I feel that I will betray something if I give too much away. I notice it too. I see such behavior affect potential relationships. The best saying I can think of to describe it is, "Still waters run deep".
@abadi173
4 жыл бұрын
color me impressed, now that's a true INFJ right here.
@elisaw8367
5 жыл бұрын
Hello Scott, I'm an INFJ and just recently got more interested in the INTJ type, as one of my fellow students is one. Although on the outside we appear to be so different, and indeed give off very different energies/vibes, I find that in a lot of ways we actually resemble each other. We are countercultural, we see the world through quite similar lenses (maybe the shared Ni?!), individualistic, dislike unconscious people, need very much alone time, feel alienated in this world, are preoccupied with society and where it is heading, dislike Smalltalk and shallow people, very much dislike group settings (prefer to act one on one), very private and careful about who we let into our lives, aren't fond of sharing our ideas with anyone because of fear of not being understood and therefore hurt, feeling misunderstood and not seen for who we are and what we can contribute to the world, think in patterns, like to have a reasonable conversation, feel very passionate about our ideas, sensitivity to stimulai, feeling disembodied and not in the here and now and so on... I'm wondering if the only big difference there is between the two, is because of the difference Fi vs. Fe (which maybe is why we go about the same opinions, worldview, ideas in sometimes very different ways (and why we have those different vibes). What's your opinion on this? I think it's really interesting...
@Adoralla
4 жыл бұрын
This is an older video, but I just want to add my thanks for it-- hearing it all laid out helps reinforce that my interpretation of my innerworkings are not so irregular among those of my type... thanks from a random female INTJ from across the internet. (PS: To those complaining about his roundabout way of speaking, you may try to listen at 1.25x speed while working on another task! Then again, you probably did that already, didn't you?)
@heathergrahame9647
4 жыл бұрын
In regards to the INTJ perceiving manipulation in others, you're quite correct that I discern an incongruity (using my intuition) but it's a logical incongruity rather than a feeling incongruity. So, a basic example would be if someone is smiling whilst talking about a sad topic, that raises a logical incongruity which I notice. My mind is comparing and considering data and information rather than feelings. The feelings of others are not ignored, though - they're viewed as another important piece of data.
@Beyondflix
3 жыл бұрын
25:48 that's spot on. Sometimes I'm even only talking to myself and the other person just happens to be present.
@EminentJade
5 жыл бұрын
im amazed by ur effort reading us thoroughly but at the same time feeling unsecured how we are accurately analysed lol nice work, i also liked ur thumbnail representing us with a pawn having a shadow of a queen 😎
@domedweller4202
6 жыл бұрын
Hi Scott, I feel you have been describing my youngest son in detail.This will help me to understand him more.I'm his mom. Thank you 🌹
@scott.morgan
6 жыл бұрын
That’s great to hear!
@srulyp.7428
5 жыл бұрын
I wish u/it were my mum😭💜 INTJ.
@melissal4363
4 жыл бұрын
Awesome parenting!!
@advocateproductions656
5 ай бұрын
I I am an INFJ and currently trying to engage with an INTJ, it feels like trying to hit a moving target. This video has been very helpful. Thank you.
@stagename2
3 жыл бұрын
The “vulnerability “ is like soft skin . A place Unhardened by the world.
@AmberBoutilier
6 жыл бұрын
This video is so great... it's nice to learn about other types and from a hopeful and kind way.
@legendzfall
4 жыл бұрын
Re: the question you asked about the INTJ contemplating the craziness, trauma, and suffering in the world: the first thing I do is to become disappointed(not voluntarily, it just happens). The second thing I do is to look for root causes. Human nature, philosophy or ideas often accepted by default, which are irrational and their results, or incentives for cruel or irrational behavior that are built into institutions, especially political institutions or institutions which are governed by political entities(because of the "force" element of government), etc I don't get too involved emotionally, there's a certain detachment, because I don't see any point in emotional investment in something I have so little control over(other than being continuously disappointed in human behavior and the situations that incentivize such behavior that go unrecognized by humanity in general). -INTJ
you'll love this from thirty minutes in ~ i promise you that
@PsyTron
6 жыл бұрын
A lot of people using manipulation tend to have a parrern. I pick up in it when people tend to use guilt tactics or messing with my emotions. Hard to use the emotions of a rational thinker.
@sonian499
5 жыл бұрын
I am an INTJ. I'm just going to address the smiling issue as I've found that to be very true for me. I agree with you about the smile thing. When I was in high school, I used to have resting bitch face, and that worked very well for me considering the fact that it was a military school. However alot of members of my peers had informed me of the fact that it made me unapproachable, I didn't give a shit about it at the time, but outside in the real world I did come to the realisation that smiling would get me further than a deadpan face ever would. I had to make the conscious decision to smile more (painful as that may be because I felt that I was conforming) because it did improve my interpersonal approachability as well as add to my social skill set. Now I find smiling to be my default setting to interact with people. I'm not sure whether I like that, but it gets the job done.
@learnwithkit
2 жыл бұрын
🙏I can see how you are discovering things while making the video, you have definitely Dug Gems in this video. This video doesn't feel long at all because it is so soothing and stimulating to watch at the same time. Fe Smile: This is very interesting (felt a little called out). It was rather natural on how I logic around my social ways, i.e. Fe smile, Fe greeting, Fe hand wave. (I thought I was strong Fe user because I was logically becoming pretty good at it.) It is not fake, it is like a tool that was needed and naturally learnt. But of course, there are things that makes us smile naturally. The way I would describe it ... a technical smile vs a smile from the heart (may not necessary show on the face.) I do wonder if ISTJ does this? Autonomy Unity: Hmm. Appearances are so subjective. It might be difficult to say for sure. Even the most attractive human may not be admired by all. I am rather aware of how I tend to be drawn to people who is talented in ways I am not, in general. It keeps it interesting, keeps me learning. Viewing World's Problem: In a nutshell ..... Everyone (including myself) is playing or participating in an infrastructure/game with rules set for ourselves. Almost like putting shackles on your own ankles or hurting oneself with own's sword. I feel the pain because I am in the same shoes, at the same time, wondering if, how and when i could get out of those shoes. That is how it looks like for me. Lastly, Music Connects to Fi: Music does something magical for me. Takes me away from thoughts and just helps me to feel and/or express myself. I found myself using Music as well, to release emotions. Listening to music and crying my heart out when needed, helps to manage the flood. I really love how you flowed and floated through your thoughts in this video. Just wanted to share a few cents worth of thoughts in respond. - I*TJ
@BGomez-tk7lu
6 жыл бұрын
Your description of the INTJ type is very accurate. As an INTJ I find your video veery relatable.
@asdf9C
4 жыл бұрын
dude, i'm listening to more and more of this, and what you are saying is absolutely brilliant. You are definitely describing me, an INTJ, perfectly. I'm extremely impressed by your insight.
@diannarowlands3784
5 жыл бұрын
I love this video and yes as write this post I watch all the way through. Will be watching it again. So many things were so spot on. I love the fact that you said that are hearts are in are head. So very true, in my introspection of the situation I been in. I will go home and analyze the things that were happening. I began to see the pattern of situation and the people involved. There comes a release in my mind and deep feelings coming together in one accord. I’m able to disconnect from the feelings of something is not right and make a decision on how to proceed. Again thank you !
@franek_izerski
4 жыл бұрын
When there is no issue with Se for INTJ, that is like coming home.
@asdf9C
4 жыл бұрын
i'm an INTJ, and like almost everything you said has described my entire life. good job sir! you have welcome insight.
@amokarma
6 жыл бұрын
Been now listening to your video 3 times to really take in everything. I would love to hear your views on relationship with INTJ and ENFP
@akshan2310
Жыл бұрын
Positive Ni Fi loop is being aware about your own biases. Negative one is projecting your biases. You were mostly insightful but for most INTJs, we are in touch with who we are. We respond to genuine information but we have a hard time discerning genuine information with others. Eg if my friend says he doesn't like chicken sandwiches because he is vegan carries a different scenario than a stranger saying he doesn't like chicken scenarios because he is vegan. Because I haven't studied the person enough. We intellectualise our Limbic system meanwhile INFJs emotionalise their Neorcortex.
@frypan969
4 жыл бұрын
1:00:28 INTJ - I see the narrative of the current state of the world provided by media, politicians, interest groups and causes then (if I have an interest in it) look at the available information. I find what solutions have been trialed and what solutions have been ignored by those who have a vested interest in the problem remaining (either money or power - look behind the curtain). I remember humanity is constantly improving (reference: 'Factfullness') and gradual improvements in society is not news. I understand human nature has its dark side and bad things happen, and I do my part to make each day better than the last (Fi - Morals). This gets filtered to a world view model I use to predict future possibilities both positive and negative and decide if it is worth acting. When in doubt I turn off news and social media as they are not a true reflection of the state of the world. 1:19:15 - Quiet. Meditation can help as long as nothing major is on my mind. When something major is no my mind not even sleep will stop the thought process.
@gepisar
4 жыл бұрын
1:11:40 re deception. Yeah - i think INTJs pick up on incongruence. The body language, a sudden shift in change of language predicates, repeated uses of the word "OK" used to push acceptance rather than a pause for clarification. But yeah, we spot incongruence and hypocrisy pretty quick. Be glad then, that this INTJ is still watching at 1hour10mins plus! Good job!
@Intuitioncalling
3 жыл бұрын
Not just the smile. We like mastering the whole shebang. Smile, inviting body language, gestures, eye contact (controlled), you name it
@frankcastle2876
4 жыл бұрын
As an INTJ the easiest way to deflect the attention off of myself was to have my 'work'/outcome outshine everyone else. My early adolescent years were made up of constantly refined observations. Thought without action was daydream. Action without thought was a nightmare. And most times my childhood was a nightmare. Now as a 46 year old male, most don't expect action and that alone can astonish your peers. Yes it scares the shit out of me, but it allows me to command respect, because I am willing to put myself out there for immediate criticism... ...which typically I shrug off as I already have beat myself with superior criticism, courtesy of myself. EMBRACE YOUR NIGHTMARES!
@heathergrahame9647
4 жыл бұрын
INTJ female here. Yes, there's an INTJ smile and I really appreciate you discussing it. I have often smiled when I'm not happy, and when I do it's because I feel under threat. I feel like someone is pressuring me to be or do something that I don't want to do. I really want to tell them to eff off but that's not socially acceptable (especially for a woman) so I sort of have a reaction of "please be nice to me" in the hope that they will respect my needs. But, alas, the smile - as you say - is misinterpreted as an invitation, and the person I was trying to push away or put off comes even closer to me. I've had this problem a lot in interactions with men and it has led to a lot of sexual harassment. They're attracted to me but I'm not attracted to them, and their displays of interest in me are felt as an imposition or a pressure upon me to give the man what he wants. The misinterpretation is, I think, a result of the INTJ innocence and openness to ideas. I am genuinely interested in people because to me, they have a different perspective on life, and I like how their different ideas enrich my mind. But that openness is interpreted by men as I'm open to having a sexual relationship with them when I'm not. Also I wanted to say how I have felt misunderstood all my life and that has been a big problem for me. It seems to be a problem for all the ''inner" types who have a lot going under the surface of the water, so to speak, which other people don't see. For me, as an INTJ, what I value most is integrity - that is, a sense of wholeness where lots of different pieces are connecting and working together. I'm most happy in myself when I'm living in a way that is being true to myself, and I'm most attracted to people who have a lot of integrity too. Most other types seem to value very different things and so we just drift apart. In particular, I get bored. When someone has depth and integrity about them, there are many facets to them and it's an ongoing, dynamic and developing process - and I love that. But most people seem to be quite static - they have set beliefs, set likes and dislikes, and their world is quite small. The first few minutes of interacting with them are quite new and interesting to me but then, the next interaction I have with them is the same, it's just a repetition of the last interaction, and I'm bored and disinterested immediately.
@c.lurign3905
4 жыл бұрын
14:30 I don’t know if the male INTJ feel this way but being a female INTJ I even fee misunderstood by my own INTJ’s at times. But we definitely fee very misunderstood and for me personally it can be really overwhelming as if I wish I could just touch someone and they can hear and feel me the complete me and all the million thoughts and sense and webs going on with out having to use verbal language and but having to touch them also makes a vulnerable aspect that I feel wouldn’t want to be shared just to have to communicate something that most wont fee comfortable after knowing the info and thoughts etc. for the most part I don’t care that I’m misunderstood and I’m not even let down because I understand that most are not going to and it’s not even a fault they can change with them but when it matters is when your in a romantic or deep bond with someone and then they too arnt that key person that actually understands your that’s when it’s upsetting and frustrating because you feel like you truly are an alien and yes people love you find you fascinating at time or different it means noting to us because we are who we are not for a reward or to be solved just to be a challenge won yet they still don’t actually get why we are the way we are and don’t figure us out and use it to help us in areas we still are trying to grow or to make us feel important.
@alaysiakayebutler6299
5 жыл бұрын
Scott, what's obvious to me is that you are not presumtuous, nor pretencious. That is what makes the information you share so considerable, literally. Yes, you give us what you've found to be worth to being considered. Notable. Useful. Leaving it to us to see this info, recognizing it playing out in our lives. To make better sense of it all. We all want to know WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON?? within even closest connections, seems to be getting harder to know what people truly value.. Or, what we are worth. complex human involvements.
@MattCookVideos
3 жыл бұрын
As for how do we detect deception. I would say that primarily it’s we are constantly checking if what someone says is logical and makes sense. And this can be a weakness, because if everything does make sense according to everything we know, we will think everything is real. That’s why we need to fail many times and gain a lot of experience, so that we learn how reality really is. Only by knowing reality better can we avoid deception.
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