Is willing to send Derek to rehab over one beer, but not willing to send Josh to therapy or jail over molesting multiple girls. Okay, Jim Bob, okay.
@goddessahjia2623
Жыл бұрын
oh my god
@Mamaroo92
Жыл бұрын
Literally
@amylynnhunt55
Жыл бұрын
They're so sick. It's... I just am out of words. Do any of the Duggar kids/adults now have a chance at actual normal -ish happiness? They're so unwilling to just be mad at the parents. You can forgive actions, and still keep a healthy distance. But it seems that what was her nickname, sweet Jilly Muffin? I think that little girl still really wants her parents approval. It's just sad. I guess I remembered a few words 🫢😳 hehe.
@kelviannaepperson3677
Жыл бұрын
Yeah I would have him in juvie then transferred to jail. For all of the children's sake. Jim Bob had abused them in controlling ways and revictimizing the girls by forcing them to still be around Josh and having to interview with him there. He supposed to protect them but he was using that abusively.
@aarishowton8037
Жыл бұрын
I mean, he was 14. It’s very unusual for somebody that young to be arrested for something like molestation. Therapy, though, yeahhh
@ashleighashcraft7068
Жыл бұрын
When she told Jim Bob "You treat me worse then my pedophile brother," I was so proud of her, and hurt for her at the same time.
@Mama_Bear524
Жыл бұрын
Same
@glassribbon4219
Жыл бұрын
That must have been a terribly hard realization for her to make.
@spOOkytimes
Жыл бұрын
I understand there many victims in their culture, but Jim Bob truly sucks. He basically had all the power in that family and chose to cover things up and harm his children. There are just some people in the world that should never even be in charge of a paper clip let alone multiple people's lives
@v_wegs
Жыл бұрын
I gasped out loud, and felt a deep catharsis both for her, and for me. That’s the exact sort of thing I wish I could have said to my abusers’ supporters. So unbelievably proud of and pained for her.
@Switzer1234
Жыл бұрын
You treat me worse THAN (not THEN) my peodephile brother.😊
@deannanewman7965
Жыл бұрын
I think Jill is in that weird limbo where she's realized the beliefs she was taught and the indoctrination of her family isn't true, or right but can't let it go in full.
@cheesyDELISH48
Жыл бұрын
I feel that way about Jinger, but unlike Jill she still paints her parents in a decent light
@tater60
Жыл бұрын
I grew up in a similar church.. I left, kicked out at 18. I am now 60 and it took years to completely unpeel that onion, if you ever really do..
@janewaysmom
Жыл бұрын
Hey, there can be a good life in that limbo, though. Especially for the kids of the person who's learning to be more flexible with things.
@iFlunkedAWANA
Жыл бұрын
She shouldn’t have to. She alone should decide what’s best for her. Shaking off toxic systems (like IBLP) is what’s important.
@HM-cq2rv
Жыл бұрын
@@iFlunkedAWANAI think the problem is the likely still holds harmful beliefs eg transphobia
@lizd.8655
Жыл бұрын
I'm absolutely horrified that Jill and Jessa's abuser was IN THE SAME ROOM during that interview! The fact he had a smile on his face should remove all doubt (from the very few that still do) that he's an absolute monster P.S. I got the biggest smile on my face twice: first when she questioned what right Jim Bob had asking about HER uterus and second when she finally called him out for defending her MONSTER of a brother! Best of luck to Jill!
@Mama_Bear524
Жыл бұрын
I knew they were forced to say all that. I knew they were abused and were forced to pretend everything was ok. It felt like there was a metaphorical gun to their heads. But I didn’t know it was Josh. Just sick. Those poor girls.
@helixmoore7636
Жыл бұрын
@@Mama_Bear524 I call it.evil
@ZannaDArcy
Жыл бұрын
I was horrified by that too, and disgusted that the show allowed him to be there
@lizd.8655
Жыл бұрын
@@ZannaDArcy I think that just shows the power Jim Bob wields over the conservative media. He may be "kinder and gentler" about it than Dumpf but he still wields it
@aprilthayne
Жыл бұрын
My jaw actually dropped.
@mglarson5936
Жыл бұрын
I went to a fundie elementary school and the whole “thoughts are sins” thing really messed me up, because I developed OCD from a young age. Dwelling/obsessing over thoughts is pretty much the hallmark of OCD, so I was convinced I was going to hell. Do not teach your children this garbage.
@prettyprettybirdie314
Жыл бұрын
Yes, I also have OCD and this destroyed me mentally. I developed scrupulosity (religious OCD) because of it. The idea that thoughts are just as bad as actions...it took me years to begin to unlearn this and it's still messed me up.
@AnimaKinz
Жыл бұрын
Omgosh, YES. I listened to a clinical deep dive on OCD maybe a couple years ago and the connection between it and religion seemed soooo apparent to me. Not to say anyone religious will inevitably develop it, but that I could see how habits like confession or defining missteps as "sin" which we need cleansing from are just... asking for trouble.
@icefacade
Жыл бұрын
Oh. Hi. I also have OCD and the whole "thoughts are deeds" set me up for some terribly traumatic experiences. Telling kids that is abuse that sets them up for further abuse.
@mabrams12
Жыл бұрын
I'm reading Brain Lock, fantastic book by a man who runs a large successful treatment program at UCLA.
@annatafarfalla
11 ай бұрын
YESS! I wish more people talked about extreme religious upbringing and its correlation with OCD! It's something I'm really digging into during mt deconstruction the past few years!
@shouldbewritig
Жыл бұрын
Derek isn’t the greatest of people but he sounds like a fucking amazing husband. He’s a hero for being by her side every step of the way and I genuinely respect that so much, even if I mad hate the bigotry. I hope both of them can keep growing and finding strength together.
@stevenandcarminabeedle9089
Жыл бұрын
Same. Very well said!
@milofu2457
Жыл бұрын
I agree that he seems like a great husband, however as a man roughly the same age Derick was when he became prayer partners with Jim Bob and started courting Jill, I can’t help but side eye his thought process, values and intentions during that time. I volunteered for half a year at a Christian monastery (that’s not nearly as extreme in regards to tradition as the Duggars culture) and the patriarchal structures were off putting to me personally, which leads me to question men who embrace and endorse these institutions.
@Kimothy80
Жыл бұрын
@@milofu2457 I think Derick was looking for a father figure after his own passed away and, for whatever reason, latched to JB. Thankfully, it bit JB in the ass.
@rhiannonmclean7843
Жыл бұрын
@@milofu2457it seems as though Derrick has deconstructed a lot of that. None of the Duggar girls were allowed to date outside of those traditions. I wonder, hope, and assume that Derrick is on the same deconstruction journey Jill is on and while it is okay to chastise him for his current beliefs about the lgbtq+ community, I don’t think it is fair to judge him for formerly holding the values he was raised in. I’m glad he and Jill met each other, it seems as though meeting each other is what brought them both out of this crazy world they were in.
@baileymoran8585
Жыл бұрын
He has been quiet as far as his worst takes as of recent, which doesn’t seem to be his nature. I hope that means he has re-evaluated some of his views but knows he doesn’t know enough to say anything yet. If someone learns homophobia is wrong but doesn’t fully understand why because they have lack of experience with the LGBT community and what they do not want outsiders saying, addressing past mistakes can be scary because you don’t know if you are going to fuck up even more. They also may both not be ready to alienate their more mainline Christian followers by addressing things like this. He has deconstructed a lot of the sexism he learned in recent years. So at least he is willing to learn. But I notice even when he has addressed that, it’s less of a ‘I was wrong for thinking like this and I’m ashamed of my actions’ situation and more of a ‘oh no. No, she is my equal. The church calls men the head of the household but that doesn’t mean anything. I love and respect her. She can wear what she wants. I’m not like her father.’ So I suspect he never really learned how to address his faults and properly apologize for them, which is common with men, even in mainline Christianity.
@HumanABC
Жыл бұрын
Children should be referred to off screen. ~ Katya Zamolodchikova aka Brian McCook
@bettyjojoeharperre-imagina7322
Жыл бұрын
Oh my god I love finding Katya quotes in the wild!
@s_mazey
Жыл бұрын
Love Katya 🇷🇺
@alexu8708
Жыл бұрын
Your dad just calls her 😏 KATYA (But seriously she is amazing and absolutely correct)
@hobocode
Жыл бұрын
I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE that quote. Katya nails is soooo often. Their podcast is my happy place. I just lay back and feel like I'm chatting with friends who really "get me"
@Listening_Books12345
10 ай бұрын
Katya is so lovely, and her persistent Clue references speaks to my neurodivergent childhood that would rent that movie from Family Video and watch on repeat for a whole weekend.
@GotAnUmbrella
Жыл бұрын
THEY DID NOT EVEN GIVE HER MONEY FOR THE COPAY?! I nearly table flipped just hearing that. it's all awful, but that is just monstrous. They force her to film something private and then refuse to help her with the cost.
@seameology
Жыл бұрын
Because they already paid JB. It was JB who didn't give her any money.
@GotAnUmbrella
Жыл бұрын
@@seameologyso you admit she wasn't properly compensated
@rabbit__
Жыл бұрын
Freaking obscene, that's so explotitve!
@rdlewis3616
9 ай бұрын
I always suspected that daddy Jim was a horrible person. I wonder what Michelle is really like. I imagine she has always done as she is told. My mother liked that show, but I could never stomach it. I have known people who were sweet to your face and stab you in the back. They are all holier than thou conservative “Christians” or cult members if you will.
@catlover2223
7 ай бұрын
@@GotAnUmbrellaOh yeah, we know Jim Bob unashamedly stole from his kids in every way possible.
@meeeka
Жыл бұрын
My dad financially abused me and I learned about it when I couldn't get financial aid for grad school; I turned him into the IRS. It made me so happy when I knew he was suffering. So when I read that part of the book, I stood and cheered for Jill.
@kelviannaepperson3677
Жыл бұрын
I'm disabled was not able to get social security due to my mom's income. Now as an adult I don't have a conservatorship but my bank accounts are under my mom's name and my life insurance too so I don't really have any assets of my own. I'm not able to work I have been trying to get SSI for so many years now it has been difficult. Now I'm pregnant thank God it's going well.
@CrowT87
Жыл бұрын
Good for you! I'm annoyed when I hear stories like this and people forgive their parents and don't turn them in.
@bluebyyoufu
7 ай бұрын
And now I am standing and cheering for you! Huge respect.
@SinfulSloth
Жыл бұрын
I'm so proud of her. Derek was legit a knight in shining armor... i hope he stops with the bigotry
@merricat3025
Жыл бұрын
He is probably more open-minded than the rest of Duggars and spouses.
@violetx9668
Жыл бұрын
@@merricat3025 I kept thinking he was the best thing her dad ever put in her path.
@Nassifeh
Жыл бұрын
The trans stuff is just like the pants. These Christians don't *know* any queer/trans people. We got driven out of their churches explicitly so they wouldn't know us. And as long as they don't know us, they're just talking about an imaginary version of us as described to them by people who ALSO don't know us. I hope they'll eventually broaden their interactions enough to actually spend some time with trans people, because it'll go a long way.
@mama_o4
Жыл бұрын
@violetx9668, I often thought about that, as Jill seemed to distance herself. At 1st, I thought since her dad chose Derek for his daughter that it may not turn out best for her. Thankfully, I was wrong.
@marisha.art.channel
Жыл бұрын
I really agree with you. Yes I also agree that he needs to get past the bigotry. But I am really impressed with who he has grown to be. I thought he was trash just hanging on for the fame and money but then I saw shiny happy people, and I realized that he is a really good person who really genuinely loves her and that the go fund me was because they weren’t getting paid. I thought really poorly of them at that time, and I just didn’t know. I just hope that these to grow out of the bigotry and realize that these are people just like them who have struggles and trauma just like them and deserve love and respect just like them.
@TexasbyStorm
Жыл бұрын
She said her mom didn't want to film births but she allowed it for the show, "because it is their ministry." I ordered the book on Audible along with Jinger's book, yesterday. I listened to them both. Jill's book was life experiences, Jinger's was differentiating between IBLP and Calvinism. I did like the nod to the Free Jinger movement. Also Derick came in hard right after marriage about TLC money. If Jim Bob didn't prove himself to be such a pig, I would have at first thought he was trying to protect Jill's money from a man that they had collectively only known a few months. But the fact is Jim Bob was a huge pig, I also think Jim Bob gave his sons money from the beginning. I think he bought Josh's car lot, I think he bought John David's plane. He set each of those boys up financially. They also employed Ben, which I think is why Jessa cannot say anything against her father. I digress, but at first I could see a father being suspicious of a brand new husband so interested in his wife's income. Its clear to see almost immediately that is not the case. JB is just a selfish man that did not protect his daughters and has sold millions to protect his pedophile son. That alone says it all.
@Lyrical3127
Жыл бұрын
I remember having this fantasy when I was a child of getting rich someday, writing up an invoice for everything my parents had spent on me, writing a check and never speaking to them again. Because they did what Jim Bob did, holding everything they “gave” me over my head and reminding me every day what a burden I was to raise and how “poor” they were as a result (when they chose to send me to private school and get a piano and do things that made them look like good parents). And how everything was “sacrificed”for me. Until one day I realised I didn’t owe them anything and just walked away anyway.
@kcerrie
Жыл бұрын
Quite apart from the insight this provides into the reality of their lives, the financial abuse and the IBLP, this book also provides valuable insight into how TLC handled all this. Yes, it’s TV, yes reality TV is never really real, and yes it’s a business, but what happened to ethical oversight and protecting the rights of the minors? Even if Jim Bob was ok with this way of doing things, TLC producers had the opportunity to place some boundaries. All this highlights a huge gap in the space of children’s rights (on TV and online, in family vlogging for example) and a gap in either regulations or enforcement of regulations.
@Mama_Bear524
Жыл бұрын
This this this!!!!!!! TLC is culpable full damn stop.
@MyMerryMessyGermanLife
Жыл бұрын
💯- laws need to be in place to protect minors from exploitation, labor, and compensation for their labor. The thing is, minors cannot give informed consent. They are too young and inexperienced to know what they’re consenting to. The film and TV industry has long abused and exploited children. It’s time that it ends!!
@camcat26
Жыл бұрын
The more I learn about TLC’s business practices, the more I wonder why the FTC isn’t at their door step. The adult children deserve to have their chunk of income via direct deposit, not funneled through a parent
@spOOkytimes
Жыл бұрын
@@camcat26 TLC must have good lawyers. Almost all of their content is made off the backs of vulnerable people. "Toddlers & Tiaras" and "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" alone should be a reasons they should have an ethics board to keep them under control.
@hopefulmonsters4407
Жыл бұрын
THIS is why I side-eye any supposed "parental rights" bullshit. It's a means of denying the rights of children as individuals and allowing their parents to treat them more like property than as individuals. It leads to, excuses, and fosters the kind of abuse that the IBLP was built to enable.
@OnsenDreamscapes
Жыл бұрын
I remember jill saying in shiny happy people that they thought they would be arrested for not following the contract… which of course also points to neglect in their education that they think that’s a thing that can happen for a civil issue . And also how that was used to manipulate and scare them
@kafitty
Жыл бұрын
Great point. And the word "contract" means some heavy sh*t in the Bible.
@brittany1049
Жыл бұрын
Jim Bob: “HOW DARE YOU ACUSE ME OF DOING THE THINGS I AM DOING” 🤦♀️🤣
@soangiewrites5639
Жыл бұрын
Wow. I had no idea it was this bad for Jill. I am proud of Jill. I left a cult with my two kids 20 years ago, and we lost everything. Our entire support system gone in a flash, because I was sinning by leaving my abusive husband. It takes extreme conviction and courage to pull yourself from the sticky hell of abuse, especially religious abuse. Thank you for breaking down this book for us.
@MyMerryMessyGermanLife
Жыл бұрын
I hope Jill and Derrick sue TLC and Intouch and make a big deal of this. Networks and producers have been exploiting and abusing children since the TV and movie industries began. There needs to be a reckoning for children! Children need rights - including when it comes to “influencers.”
@raydunn8262
Жыл бұрын
Simon and Schuster, the publisher, has been one of the industry's leaders for a century. Founded by two Jews, of course, it's secular in a mostly Christian nation. It publishiles all faiths and political views. The firm has had relatively few controversies. Fun Fact: Carly Simon, a founder's daughter, was inducted into the Rock and Rock and Roll Hall last year. Her most infamous song is 'You're So Vain'.
@brookebaucom7555
Жыл бұрын
They also don’t hand out book deals for just anyone. Stephen King has his book deal with S&S. This is huge compared to Jinger’s Christian publisher. The Dillards have entered a new level.
@myawilkes7560
Жыл бұрын
I love that you felt middling about her not holding Jim Bob accountable ENOUGH, and her opinions about the parentification. Those gave me a lot of pause, too. But she's in real therapy and can continue to work through that. Otherwise this book was a really fascinating read
@autumnmoonfire3944
Жыл бұрын
Probably unpacking the parentification is painful because she genuinely loves the siblings put in her charge, so maybe unpacking it makes her feel like she’s rejecting those kids. Plus she got genuine dopamine hits out of the praise she got for being Sweet Jilly Muffin. I’m not about to deny dopamine. LOL I’m sure she’ll get around to unpacking this.
@Mama_Bear524
Жыл бұрын
@@autumnmoonfire3944this is a good point
@blesid866
Жыл бұрын
Her putting the ESV instead of KJV spoke volumes. Little things like that shows me where she is now. I hope she continues to heal.
@JerzCe73
7 ай бұрын
This is why I hate the "Bootstrap" mentality. People who watched the Duggars thought that these people who had a TON of kids were not taking assistance and no "welfare" queen scenarios when they were selling their children and themselves for a house and food. So, ummmm assistance, right? SMH
@dliap98
6 ай бұрын
for real. these freaks never actually follow their own rules. and on a similar note, advocating against birth control when you have so many kids you can't even take care of them properly would make me want to start birth control immediately lmao
@frybabyofficial
Жыл бұрын
I've just started the video, but i wanted to say as someone raised evangelical and no longer religious at all, it breaks my heart that the message of Christ is so supportive of the oppressed and encourages them to stand against it and Christians just turned it into a complex in order to oppress everyone else. Psalm 9:9 reminded me of this
@iFlunkedAWANA
Жыл бұрын
Yeah it’s gross how so many “Christians” act nowadays…so hateful and the opposite of the example Jesus set. Apparently they’ve forgotten “WWJD”.
@pharoahcaraboo9610
Жыл бұрын
this has been on my mind lately. grewing up southern christian conservative and ive been nonreligous for about a decade now and am currently really focusing on my relationship w the poor and homeless- there's a lot of ingrained hatred towards them in christian communities. that a homeless person must be drug free and appealing to you, must be a 'correct' version of a homeless person to be worthy of care. when all the bible asks is for you to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give to the poor and visit the imprisoned. no caveats. it's... weird to see the mental gymnastics at work vis a vis the reality of christianity/evangelicals.
@angelaa7388
Жыл бұрын
The problem is that radical conservatives/ fundamentalist Christians consider themselves to be oppressed and "wokeness" (aka: acceptance, accountability, and inclusivity) is the oppressor.
@katoe908
Жыл бұрын
yeah I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately too - I was raised mormon and I just can’t help but be disgusted at the fact that they took christ’s message of love and peace and turned it into a way to abuse and shame people. it’s truly sick.
@timeghost5000
Жыл бұрын
Psalms and Proverbs come from the Torah
@OnsenDreamscapes
Жыл бұрын
Not only not having the same financial rights as child “scripted” actors, reality child actors also don’t have the same labor rights in terms of working hours, schooling of course, etc. really sick stuff
@BluetheRaccoon
Жыл бұрын
I don't like that Jim Bob gets no meaningful consequences. I hope some of the Duggars do go 'no contact'.
@SadisticSenpai61
Жыл бұрын
If the rules were consistent and you always knew what was expected of you and what would get you in trouble, I can see taking comfort in that. That's one of the things that I hated the most about my own upbringing - the rules were not consistent. And that often led to my brother and I being punished and we didn't know why. That said, I know that my own upbringing, while abusive, was on a completely different level from what Jill went through. As much as my parents favored my brother and their expectations for him were completely different from what they expected from me, I can't imagine them ever reacting the way Michelle and Jim Bob did if something even remotely close to what Josh did to Jill and the other girls were to happen to me. Well, I can't really imagine my brother ever doing something like that to me either, but you get the idea. From what I've seen and heard about the Duggars (and IBLP in general), it seems like boys are always the priority and always given the benefit of the doubt while the girls are pushed into the background and... not exactly ignored, but more... blamed whenever possible. If that makes sense?
@gwendolynstata3775
Жыл бұрын
The word you're looking for is "scapegoated"
@rebeccaholcombe9043
Жыл бұрын
My family did the IBLP thing for a while. My mother now calls it Male Supremacy.
@bretthansen3739
Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your description of Jill as a CSA survivor around the 5 minute point. Being abused by someone you care about is complicated.
@Tazzie1312
Жыл бұрын
Generally I would not say things like this because, like, no, but holy crap I am glad that Jill seems to have been brave enough to seek out some kind of birth control and I sincerely mean brave. Having scary as hell births like that with no way to control how many times you get pregnant truly sounds like hell.
@Katie-gr6qq
Жыл бұрын
As someone who lived around Silver Dollar City for years, dodging the Duggars there is a whole ass mood.
@Emilysheknows
Жыл бұрын
she is the definition of perseverance! the way that she admits to being so physically overcome with anxiety but still ALWAYS does right by her kids is so admirable
@cherryblossom789
Жыл бұрын
I think this book is so important. The world needs to know about this h3ll on earth that is fundamentalist religion. Jim Bob really is much more awful than I could have imagined, and I had a very poor opinion about him already. I’m so happy that Jill has broken free from this. She will heal and go on to have a much better life as adult
@zen_ccg
Жыл бұрын
It feels like Jill is still on her journey of healing. I'm currently doing deep trauma work in my own therapy sessions and it's opening up feelings I didn’t expect to have. It is my hope Jill will have more reflection in some 10+ years time and (regardless of whether she publishes something or not) is in a place even further along than here
@Tina06019
10 ай бұрын
I looked up what Derek Dillard said that got everyone so upset: “Transgender is a myth. Gender is assigned by G-d.” And “Jazz Jennings is being exploited…I pity him.” Well, I don’t agree with his first statement, but I absolutely agree that Jazz Jennings has been brutally exploited, by her parents and by the network. What TLC did to Jazz should have been illegal. I call Jazz Jennings “she/her” because that’s what she wants to be called, and because she isn’t a physical threat to anyone.
@jaala1759
Жыл бұрын
I truly appreciate the respect you show for others and their faiths. You call out the insane hypocrisy and so you make it about the actual truths without generalizing others. You are a first step for people trying to be brave and step outside and think about abuse without scaring them away.
@zoinks2607
Жыл бұрын
I cannot believe the mediator asked for a break right when Jill had finally gotten a sliver of something through to her abusive dad. Is EVERYONE on Jim Bob's side?
@renatagoetz8765
Жыл бұрын
In some ways I'm sure the scope of Jim Bob's abuse will continue to come out for years - their youngest doesn't even turn 18 until 2027 - but I hope the littlest ones grow to see Jill as a role model rather than as a pariah.
@DebsFan101
Жыл бұрын
Jim Bob is a monster. Plus, so much for the so-called “umbrella of protection.” Jim Bob didn’t protect Jill or any of his daughters one bit.
@JulieMarcum-zs1pz
Жыл бұрын
Hi Jen. I really enjoy your channel and I just joined. I haven't read Jill's book yet. While I was watching, I just felt rage toward Jim Bob. The way he treats his family, especially the females, is a disgrace. I'm glad Jill stood up for herself and I pray she finds peace. I hope you feel better soon 💜
@lindah3879
11 ай бұрын
I'm so happy that Jim Bob essentially gave her Derrick who is the best thing that happened to her!
@yourpalfred
Жыл бұрын
I'm so glad these women are speaking up. I paused to read the pages about the pants. 😭 bless her
@RayChillOut
Жыл бұрын
Hearing all of this is has my mind spinning: where are the remainder of the Duggar kids, and how are they doing? It seems Anna is still married to Josh, and being held in place by the Duggars while he's in prison... All of this is just SO yucky. Way to go Jill for pulling the covers back on it all, not just for our viewing pleasure, but for any closure and healing that she can get from doing so. In response to your joke about the lost footage coming back in the far future from all these shows: I hope we get to see a massive docu-series where a bunch of the TLC kids speak up about all the predators and abusivers TLC personally financed and displayed for the world!!! Show us the tapes!!
@kafitty
Жыл бұрын
Jim Bob has an advantage most cult leaders don't have - his followers are his children and he's engineered their entire lives to make them emotionally and financially dependent on him. The only way Jill and Jinger were able to extricate themselves was through their financially independent husbands. It will be fascinating to see what happens with the lost kids as they mature into a very different world than their siblings did.
@SadisticSenpai61
Жыл бұрын
Children often love being allowed to do "adult" things - like looking after their younger siblings or painting the house or helping build something. The problem is regarding supervision and safety. Obviously, with the Buddy System where 12 years old have to get up in the middle of the night to make a bottle for a baby, there's a very clear lack of supervision. Additionally, that's cutting into the child's sleep which will negatively affect them the next day. Like, if a kid wants to do that on a weekend or during a holiday break (thus not affect their attention in school), that's fine - as long as an adult gets up with them. At least that's how I see it anyway. I don't know what kind of supervision or how seriously safety was taken when they were building the house. I do know that my dad and my grandpa would have never let anyone under 15 or so use a power tool - and even then, they'd want to be right there keeping an eye on them and making sure they're taking all the necessary safety precautions. Grandpa had plenty of stories of stupid stuff he did when he was a kid and a teen and he was always adamant that he was damn lucky he never lost a finger or anything more important than a finger. Although for some reason, driving a tractor was perfectly okay for a 10 year old - not that we were ever allowed to mow Grandpa's lawn (it was done with a full-sized tractor with a mower behind it and Grandpa would mow the half acre yard and then all the paths to the fields in one go). Dad never liked it when my brother would mow our lawn either - apparently my brother did it wrong? I never understood the difference. The only mowing Dad would tolerate my brother doing was using the push mower to mow the ditch where it was too steep for the riding mower - and I'm sure we can all guess why. That said, I do remember Mom having my brother and I help her paint the house when I was 11 (my brother was 8). Neither of us really wanted to after the first 20 minutes or so, but Mom insisted we had to continue to help. We were not wearing any safety gear. It's also worth noting that Dad wasn't home when this happened - he was already living in the new house they had just bought because his work transfer went through before the school year was over and Mom insisted on us finishing the school year before moving. Although Mom should have known better - she and her mother both have asthma.
@Hair8Metal8Karen
Жыл бұрын
My dad tried the same itemised bill tactic with me. I cut him off for it.
@ERYN__
Жыл бұрын
I am currently listening to the audio book. I always appreciate it when the author reads their own book, but especially a memoir. The absolute emotion in her voice, especially during the hard parts is present, and I know she had to do multiple takes to get a clear recording. Recommend listening to it.
@robinhood4670
Жыл бұрын
I shudder to think what would have become to Jill if she hadn't met Derick Dillard. I truly believe he rescued her from even more emotional abuse. He is The Rock
@mannachoochoo
Ай бұрын
Jim Bob sowing the seeds of his own destruction through arranging Jill and Derrick to be together is just the cherry on top of a crazy story
@Pajali
Жыл бұрын
Jen’s breathy “Michelle voice” kills me every time. 😂
@saragetsbetter
Жыл бұрын
Jill is so brave for this. I hope she and her siblings (sans Josh) find peace and healing in their lives. They’ve all been through so much
@Autumn1988
Жыл бұрын
Not that rhere is any excuse for Josh’s behaviour and he sounds like a right arrogant prick but I do wonder if his childhood crimes were dealt with appropriately he might not have offended as an adult. Now it’s ingrained and JB has enabled and entrenched the delinquency
@psychicrenegade
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for mentioning Derrick! I fully agree, that he can be a good husband to Jill, and also have some problems with trans/gay people. Two things can be true! I actually think it's much more common for transphobic and homophobic men to be BAD husbands and fathers...so Derrick is still a lot better than most "conservative/religious" men.
@ashleya3731
Жыл бұрын
The Arya Stark kill list Jill had was brilliant. Got us all memeorizing them
@TrueNepenthe
8 ай бұрын
You truly exemplify the kind of compassion and acceptance of all people that I think Christianity is supposed be about. In the short time I've been watching, I have been so impressed with the example you set here.
@ckilbarger01
Жыл бұрын
I started reading it and it just feels so honest and raw. I hear her voice and I can just hear JB and Michelle saying all the things she says they did
@alshirley3444
Жыл бұрын
Jenn I love your hair. And yes I have read the Bible and yes these passages do you mean something to me thank you for covering this book
@luluthenudist
Жыл бұрын
When you do the British accent for the lady from the Sun. Omg I died. Thank you
@GoAskYourMother11
Жыл бұрын
32:22 I went to my dr and was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 2014 thanks to them meeting on tv and his mother speaking about her diagnosis. She used the words "jelly bean size lump above her collar bone" and I knew I needed to go to my GP. Thanks again momma Dillard & fam. I was stage 2B. I was seen just in time.
@melissapinol7279
8 ай бұрын
Oh dear. I'm so glad you are here. I lost my wonderful husband to Non Hodgekins Lymphoma. He died in my arms.
@GoAskYourMother11
8 ай бұрын
@@melissapinol7279 I am so so sorry to hear that. Truly such a horrifying disease.
@triptorio1376
Жыл бұрын
I feel like raising contention is the Duggar equivalent to the Franke's distortion. This phrase that can mean anything the parents want to control their children.
@renaelewis1727
Жыл бұрын
Since i cant do live chat lol....the book is really good, anxiety was bad - it is so much like the story of every child with a narcissist parent lucky most of us werent on tv :(
@MegCazalet
Жыл бұрын
The Duggars and the Gosselins - TLC seriously fucked up some families. I don’t doubt that either family would’ve suffered greatly without TLC, because both families have HORRIBLE parents (Jon a little less so) but TLC created the monsters that they now are. What a terrible network.
@softwaifu
Жыл бұрын
On top of everything else, I feel bad that these kids have been doomed to lifetimes of counting puns in everything they do ever.
@SongbirdAliWhispers
11 ай бұрын
Coming out of the Southern Baptist Convention growing up, I definitely recognized the IMB you mentioned as the International Mission Board and the months/years and interviews that they had to do track as well. Appreciate what you're doing! Excellent commentary!
@Crazyw_thechzwhz
Жыл бұрын
OMG. I was stuck at the airport and sooooo bored, but then I remembered it FUNDIE FRIDAY!! YAYY!
@jaclinecarter368
8 ай бұрын
I waited to watch your cover on this book until I had gotten ahold of it and read it first. And OMG! I got it gifted to me for Christmas and I finished it in 2 days, could not put it down. I always thought Jinger or Joy would be the one to leave the family and go "normal" never in a million years did I think it would be Jill and after reading her insight to her childhood and life I can see why. Because she had put on the mask and played pretend the best out of them all, and I truly feel so sorry for her that she had to grow up in that mindset, that she had to be the perfect child to be seen as a worthy child by her parents. Derick definitely his his faults, but getting his wife out of that cult and helping her transition into a regular life is probably the most loving and heroic thing he could have done as a husband. I now and so gunning to get my hands on Jinger's book because I want to find the parallels and see their fucked up life from another daughter who wasn't always viewed as the female golden child and probably got brushed off more times then summer time mosquitos at a bbq.
@susanjohnston8973
10 ай бұрын
She and her baby nearly died in childbirth and the only thing her father is thinking about is getting a picture of the baby to sell. Horrible father and horrible human being.
@sandrae2398
Жыл бұрын
Great video Jen! Jim Bob is so financially abusive and exploitative and greedy. His treatment of Jill, especially in comparison to someone like Josh, is insane. I can definitely relate to Jill in some aspects and it’s helpful to see someone open up about becoming alienated from family for standing up for yourself. I’m glad she shows what non physical abuse looks like - it’s personally very validating
@kp-da
Жыл бұрын
About to take a bubble bath and listen to Jen ❤ the best self-care!
@SpyderQueen1988
Жыл бұрын
Good idea, might go and do the same x
@wheretheleosings4024
Жыл бұрын
Life as a Duggeran is WILD😮 I also love imagining Michelle the nutcase making the mission to slip the contract under her door
@shannonpoppe8659
Жыл бұрын
“I’m not going to watch an hour long KZitem video” *Jen posts* 😏
@formerlongdistancerunner2672
Жыл бұрын
The way I thought this was Jill Rodriguez 😂
@bethanyhardman2143
Жыл бұрын
Straight up calling the IBLP a cult was so brave.
@rachelw1076
10 ай бұрын
There's something really ick about her calling JB "daddy" when expressing her hurt and anger.
@Shae-nc6ny
Жыл бұрын
I think the significance of the Bible verse about "strongholds" is that Bill Gothard talked a lot about strongholds in IBLP. I feel like it is a trigger word of sorts for us ex-ATIers. But it is maybe redeemed somewhat here.
@TracyLeaBeauty
Жыл бұрын
I think that’s greedy of Jim Bob to turn around and try to itemize things , like the food! Jim Bob wasn’t even paying for the food! The show was!!!!! So sad😰 go Jill & Derrick!!!!!🪅🪅🪅
@sunnyfawn13
Жыл бұрын
I appreciate you and J!
@tristanrodenhauser5267
Жыл бұрын
Shame they raised their girls to be ignorant of money beyond budgeting for groceries. No idea of incomes, value of labor, & contracts. She didn’t start asking questions until they saw more of the wider world through their husbands.
@blammela
7 ай бұрын
I was gonna have a movie night w myself and fell down a rabbit hole on your channel. Who doesn’t live pizza and weirdos on a Friday night? I started w recent vids and can’t believe how much you improved the quality of your filming and space so quickly!
@teamcougars
Жыл бұрын
I do think Derick has some warped beliefs about the LBGTQ plus but he does seem to be a very good, loving and supportive husband so I do give him credit for that ❤👏🏼
@CuratorOfCurios
Жыл бұрын
I hear echos of how my cousins grew up whenever I learn anything about the Duggars and I find it terrifying.
@LSSYLondon
Жыл бұрын
She will continue to deconstruct because once you have started down the therapy aisle eventually you will have to face the truth. Someday she will look back at her videos of her childhood and it will be like the movie The Tale and her world will shatter and then she will have to truly rebuild. I hope Derrick is strong enough for when that happens.
@nekovalley
Жыл бұрын
If there really is a god, there’s no way he’s letting someone like Jim Bob into heaven.
@drbabyyy
Жыл бұрын
props to derek for helping jill advocate for herself instead of taking the coward's route and schmoozing up to jim-bob for the privileges that come with that. makes me wish he didn't spout conservative talking points online so i could say he's a good guy, lol
@michelelynn5698
Жыл бұрын
I listened to the audio book this weekend. Hearing her tell it in her own voice, made a big difference. I may not agree with some of her ideology today, but I really respect her and I also know what it is like to deconstruct and process out of extreme religion. I'll be curious to see if she deconstructs more over the years. I took many many years and stages, but am atheist today. I could related to many dynamics of her story. The experiences with her father are similar to my mother's insane beliefs and her denial of the harm she caused all of my siblings and myself.
@michelelynn5698
Жыл бұрын
I forgot to say, I am glad you shared some of the images in the book. I didn't have those in the audio book.
@louisgrassimedium
Жыл бұрын
I'll always wonder if Kayleigh (sp?) lent that book out to someone KNOWING that the letter was in there... Because I could totally understand that. Being so afraid to release the letter, but still feeling compelled to tell someone, I could completely understand doing that.
@umokay5516
Жыл бұрын
We love another Duggar episode! 👏🏼
@maddieanderson9748
Жыл бұрын
13:40 your Michelle Duggar voice is spot on 😂
@KerriKitty
11 ай бұрын
I love that young JB looks like young Homer Simpson, LOL
@soapygirl83
Жыл бұрын
The ending breaks my heart I don't think JB gives a flying eff about any of his grandchildren they are just trophies to him.
@coryrain
Жыл бұрын
Finally, confirmation that Jim bob is a classic Narcissist and Michelle is his enabler. Her siblings are flying monkeys. Poor Jill. Even though Derrick is problematic, I'm glad she has him. His a good husband. Normally I avoid giving fundies money, but I'm buying the book. Jill deserves everything. So do the other kids. I can only hope the rest of the kids get out, but we know they probably won't.
@Saritabanana
Жыл бұрын
Few minutes in and I already love how kind you’re being to Jill. Xo
@heatherhillman1
11 ай бұрын
I have suspected for some time that Michelle isn't always as "obedient" as Jim Bob would like. I hope Michelle did go rogue and drop off the copy of the contract for them. It redeems her a little.
@katieramos5868
10 ай бұрын
Just asked Google...a child actor on a half-hour, high ratings TV show typically makes an average of $3500/week. They got STIFFED. Derick was being either super generous or super naive with his $10/hour calculation.
@mabrams12
Жыл бұрын
All of JimBob's adult kids signed NDAs except Jill so that's why they have to be careful about public support of her. I would love to see someone break their NDA (looking at you Jana). They were also threatened with disinheritance. But why would he follow through with either? With one book any of his kids can set herself/himself up for life. And he could never go through with a lawsuit because it would just reveal more things about him.
@natashahennigan5387
6 ай бұрын
I wonder if the reason why her parents did not do more is because they were female and not worth as much as their son? There seems to be a big difference in what a person can do or get away with based on gender in this situation.
@dliap98
6 ай бұрын
sadly, yes. I think that it was because Josh is their son, and they saw him as more valuable somehow. it sucks to even say but i don't see what else it could be tbh. it seems like they preferred for Jill and Jinger to suffer than for Josh to be held accountable for his actions, which I feel was motivated by how it would 'ruin their image', and that somehow would havebeen the girls' faults for disturbing the peace or whatever. it's awful because these conservatives talk all the time about 'men should protect their women', but the culture is set up so the very same men can victimize women and get away with it
@leawarny8745
Жыл бұрын
Jenn, thanks for what you do. I love your vibe and energy and that counts for King James too. As an European this is fascinating I wonder if an European network could pull this shit off. This made me realize how truly vile Jim Bob is and how he took advantage of his children's ignorance...
@hellygeer
Жыл бұрын
I think the lawsuits were dismissed because it was determined the FOIA request was fulfilled in error (a government employee not understanding the requirements of the act). It was not done with malice. Still, a really bad mistake. The person should have been reassigned.
@janetpirate2110
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. Compassion to Jill!
@JoAndGetFat
Жыл бұрын
It brings me so much glee that Jill is finally making her hard-earned money off of the 19 Kids & Counting name… and Jim Bob will never see a cent of it.
@NyxyPixie
Жыл бұрын
The “I wanted my daddy to stand up for me” comment absolutely gutted me 😭
@Mama_Bear524
Жыл бұрын
Same. That’s all many of us want and sadly too many of us don’t get
@lilliedoubleyou3865
Жыл бұрын
Same.
@NyxyPixie
Жыл бұрын
@@Mama_Bear524 yeah :( My dad was an amazing person and I’m so grateful to have had him even if I wish it could have been for longer. Everyone deserves a dad that loves them and looks out for them but so many don’t get that :(
@ttintagel
Жыл бұрын
I remember after I was abused in school, my father's response was, "You're just bound and determined to embarrass me, aren't you?" I learned at a very early age that he was never going to stick up for me, and I have nothing but sympathy from Jill.
@amylynnhunt55
Жыл бұрын
Mine was too busy pulling every drawer out and strewing my clothes all over my room, then screaming and calling me crazy for hours. That was the most triggering word for decades, "crazy". He even figured out how to dismantle the garage door opener or take one tiny piece from my engine so I had to stay & listen. Good fathers are SO important. If you're not married yet, and you want to marry & have kids, make certain you marry a patient man who understands kids are sponges. Who just need to feel safe.
@volleyballjet81
Жыл бұрын
“I would rather her have a good memory than a shitty one” is a pretty good way to summarize the book. Personally, I think that Jill hasn’t fully accepted the breadth of the abuse that she experienced, but if she’s happy with where she’s at then that’s all that matters. It’s her journey to own as she sees fit.
@Mama_Bear524
Жыл бұрын
Well said. It’s never going to be perfect. It’s a lifetime of unraveling. That abuse doesn’t just leave you. But she’s so far ahead of where she was. She’s badass. Someone to be admired and so happy she has her husband.
@okaytessa2481
Жыл бұрын
Yup, and it'll be a lifelong one. She's grown so much in such a short amount of time. She's the scapegoat out of all those kids. That's a lot to process. It'll be cool to see how much she grows in the next decade if she chooses to show us. And how exciting that she finally gets that choice.
@spOOkytimes
Жыл бұрын
I think that part of coming to terms with abuse is that you are allowed to have some of those positives memories. I remember sometimes laughing and having a nice time with my mother who was also very abusive. She could have learned skills and became a better person because of the abuse, but that is because she was trying to survive and fit into her dysfunctional family. I'm sure she really loved bonding with her siblings. It was just unfair to her as a child to have that as an expectation. She should be taking full credit for her good qualities, because she grew those with very little help from her baby machine "parents". Her siblings that weren't evil can get some credit too maybe.
@katfoster845
Жыл бұрын
@@spOOkytimesI don't think most of her siblings were evil, except her older brother. I think they're mostly good, if flawed, people who grew up in a shitty, abusive environment and didn't get an education beyond cult brainwashing. Then they mostly married very young to other people with the same upbringing, and so it becomes normal and they don't realise there was anything wrong. Jessa, Joy, Jinger and the rest are victims too.
@hobocode
Жыл бұрын
Right on. I had a tough upbringing and I'm just now learning to re-frame some stuff in ways that makes me feel more empowered. I still know the truth. I still maintain no contact and always will. But, in my own head, I kinda let myself sort of.... let the memory go fuzzy and try to spot any part that could be somehow seen as positive and let that be seen clearly. Helps me survive each day. I know what's real. But a little narrative change can help me get through the day.
@brittneymoore-miller8354
Жыл бұрын
I was parentified as a child and I also thought it was very fun. My sisters were born when I was in 3rd and 4th grade (one each year), and they were the best baby dolls. I can understand why she looks at that fondly. HOWEVER, when I was tired or needed a break from helping out, I was made to feel selfish. I remember very clearly when my parents needed to go in to town for grocery shopping, asking if they could take the girls because I was tired. My dad was so disappointed and told me that taking care of family should never feel like work. My son is the same age I was when I used to babysit an infant and a toddler, and I barely trust him to reheat leftovers. 😅
@Mama_Bear524
Жыл бұрын
That’s awful I’m so sorry. “Interesting” how your dad said that. Why is it supposed to be “not work” for you. The sister, the child, who didn’t choose to have these kids, but it’s so much work for your parents they had to make their kid do the work? These people are always such hypocrites it’s unbelievable.
@brittneymoore-miller8354
Жыл бұрын
@@Mama_Bear524 Thank you for the validation. Luckily for my sisters, my family moved away from our church circles. I never really got an acknowledgment or apology, so I’m still working through that. Eventually, they paid it forward when I ended up as a single mom with two toddlers. (Getting married at 20 was not kind to me.) Plus, my sisters have also been an amazing help when they choose to. And I’m glad they have the choice. Everyone is a victim in fundamentalism, and I’m glad we have broken the cycle.
@jennifersmith6516
Жыл бұрын
I love the part about not trusting a child to reheat leftovers!!!! Mine is 13 and I barely trust her, and I have taught her!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@priusdriver596
Жыл бұрын
yes!! and u love ur siblings, it's not as if u don't care and want the best fpr them, so it's such a hard thing to go through and process
@mpower5000
Жыл бұрын
@@jennifersmith6516that was a brilliant comment and how many of us moms feel about our kids, no matter how much we teach them 😅
@cassidyward4962
Жыл бұрын
"You treat me worse than my pedophile brother" is such a powerful statement, I am so unbelievably proud of her for taking that power back
@RaetheSaint
Жыл бұрын
I just finished the book last night and I’m so glad she went into so much detail about Jim Bob’s financial abuse. I hope this gives her siblings the courage to speak up and get their money too
@iFlunkedAWANA
Жыл бұрын
Yes! I hope the IRS goes after him.
@SadisticSenpai61
Жыл бұрын
And there's also the fact that the contract he had the kids sign for that lump sum is not a legal contract. Legal contracts do not allow for "in perpetuity." There is always an expiration date. It might 100 years from now, but there has to be an expiration date. But I bet he's banking on the fact that none of his kids know anything about contract law. After all, he knows just how little of an education they received. And he knows that their rules about the internet greatly reduces the chance that they'll ever learn about it.
@mestillme3026
Жыл бұрын
It's so sad to think that all her hard earned money went to fund her pedophile brother's lifestyle and career. He was clearly the favorite until the bitter end.
@jennl3404
Жыл бұрын
I have what’s probably a dumb question/assumption , but here goes… I’m assuming Jim Bob likely claimed all his kids for tax credits. If you do that, and then also “pay” them with that weird itemized list the way he did… one has got to cancel out the other, is that right? Could the IRS get him for that? (I’m sorry if this isn’t clear - I’m an idiot when it comes to taxes.) Anyway, I thought the book was great and I totally agree - I hope it opens the eyes of the siblings to how they’ve been wronged.
@SadisticSenpai61
Жыл бұрын
@@jennl3404 No, claiming them as dependents on his taxes would only mean that they couldn't claim themselves on their taxes. I actually ran into that the first time I filed taxes. Dad claimed me out of habit. I claimed myself. And the IRS was like, "uh, one of you two needs to drop the claim."
Пікірлер: 1,3 М.