I understand when you say you want to go 'home' that feeling of home, that feeling of true comfort.. I've been longing for that feeling, but as you keep moving forward and keep getting the help and support that you need. The feeling of home will come to you, either be it through an actual place, person, song, scent, pet.. whatever it may be, you will find it! We're all here rooting for you.
@matatajobor2035
4 жыл бұрын
Yeah the medicine is making him feel more disoriented.. This guy needs A class rehab asap
@LuisFlores-tv6ez
4 жыл бұрын
I hear the song The House that built Me by Miranda Lambert and I start hyperventilating and anxiety kicks in so bad. Because I wanna go home, but home is no longer there.
@flowerpower4065
4 жыл бұрын
@@matatajobor2035 it’s absolutely horrible when anyone suffering this type of mental illness has to be a human Guinea pig to all of the shit poison addictive prescription drugs that they experiment on you, I always felt those medications made people so much worse rather than better. The side effects of prescription drugs are a whole new level to add to your illness, it makes me so mad and so sad.
@TheAuntieBa
4 жыл бұрын
Count me in on this!
@TheAuntieBa
4 жыл бұрын
@@LuisFlores-tv6ez Very, very sorry to hear. That must be a terrible feeling, indeed. I wrap my heart around you. 🌺🌿
@mariaelenakunstmann2713
4 жыл бұрын
I feel like hugging him. Till he calms down.
@Bastion0711
4 жыл бұрын
You are an amazing human being!!!
@HP-mp9wq
4 жыл бұрын
OMG same! 😂😂
@TongUtube
4 жыл бұрын
Me too
@dopen
4 жыл бұрын
That's not how it works
@myristicanz
4 жыл бұрын
Same here but I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@rosathais
5 жыл бұрын
I understand the wish to go home, not your house, not where you live, but the feeling of home, where you'll feel comfort and be safe. I don't know exactly how you feel because you're you, but with my struggles, I can empathize with your pain. My heart is with you ❤️
@SimplySammyK
5 жыл бұрын
He's an actor.. you know this right? google his name.
@sheis8091
5 жыл бұрын
@@SimplySammyK you know that Robin Williams was an actor too,right?
@MassHysteriaHD
5 жыл бұрын
@@SimplySammyK He was an actor. Not anymore.
@sheis8091
5 жыл бұрын
@@SimplySammyK it doesn't matter who someone is or has been or will be. Mental health issues can affect anyone. I bet there are people close to you who struggle more or less. It takes an amazing and courageous person to talk and show the rest of the world these struggles. Some of us might feel alone and lost with no way out, yet knowing there is somebody like Daniel being brave enough to talk out loud is something special. It's easy to ignore it or feel like you have to hide and most of us do hide, next stop is feeling isolated and only way out is the one you can't come back from . But knowing someone else is there baring his struggles to others makes someone else feel stronger and not as alone...
@rosathais
5 жыл бұрын
@@SimplySammyK I don't care what is/was his job or hobbies, everyone is susceptible to getting sick. Read the description, he's talking about people like you. Your comment was uncalled for, if you're not willing to post something helpful, don't comment at all.
@johny5861
4 жыл бұрын
The second i heard you say “i want to go home” it sent a bolt of emotion through my chest, Despite what you may think, you are doing great. Far better than you’ll ever realise. Stay strong my friend.
@IAmSuzyQ
5 жыл бұрын
Hey Daniel, I'm Suzy.🙋🏼♀️ I saw your SBSK interview video, the day it posted, and was thrilled to see that you have a KZitem channel. Thank you for sharing your story. (🙄That sounds so cheesy, but I mean it.) I'm a nurse, and I wanted to let you know that I learned so much more about your condition from your interview, than I could have ever learned in a book... I'll take that knowledge into practice and it'll be priceless when I get a patient with your diagnosis. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏 I don't know how you did it, I'd never be strong enough to do something like that; no freaking way! If there's anything else you'd like to share, maybe something you wish a nurse or doctor had done or said, or not done and not said, I'd love to hear from you! Not only would it help me to provide better care for my patients, I also teach nursing, and that's info I'll pass along to them as well. If not, that's cool too!😉 Hang in there, you have a strength inside you, that I can see; a willingness to keep going, keep dealing, keep sharing, and keep growing...It's beautiful! *One last thing...I just read your poem, "Simply Red", and don't you dare think of it, or call it, childish. That couldn't be farther from the truth, in my opinion. I got it, and I loved it! Keep writing, I'd love to read more of your work. Alright, that's all I've got to say for today. I hope to hear back from you, and thanks again. You're all kinds of awesome! 🕉️ &💜, my friend...
@berniehayes1090
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Dan, that's me. Thank you for that teachable moment of your event on the bus. I am a recovering schicaffective person also. I feel your pain. You wonder should you keep trying but you should. On a bad day don't wait by yourself pick up the phone and vent it through to somebody else. Cannot get you out of my head. Trust in yourself that you will relax. You have a heart that is wide open. When god is walking with you, you can face anything. Gloria amen.
@weronikadraus
5 жыл бұрын
Dear Dan, I'm really sorry that you're going through this. In no way I'm trying to compare my struggles with yours because like you said everyone is different and every mental illness or disorder can manifest in different ways. But I think that on some level I experienced the desperate longing for comfort, familiarity, kindness and confirmation from the outside world and I understand how hard it is to experience yourself spiraling down into harmful ways while being conscious of it, trying to fight against it and yet feeling like a spectator that doesn't have any impact on what is actually happening. Feeling like this doesn't make a person any less valuable or important. I think you're a really extraordinary human being, kind, empathic and talented. I truly admire your courage of speaking out about your mental illness, sharing your insight and spreading the knowledge. I hope you're feeling better now, I hope you found your toys and I wish you all the best from Poland.
@katyavolkov4089
3 жыл бұрын
This is a very important video, showing what it is truly like to have a serious mental illness. Education is so important. Thank you for making this and posting this. You’re a brave man.
@gazbradshaw
Жыл бұрын
I was a paratrooper in the British army I saw your video on special books / kids. I really feel for you, I imagine it is so hard being you. I really feel for you. I think the things we go through in life we deal with in different ways some of us shut down some of us just accept the split milk and some of us are really deeply affected by things. I hope you know that every single person is worth it. You are worth it Dan. Don’t give up stay strong. You should be really proud of yourself for being a vet you are a cut above most people, what you have achieved and experienced. I know you should be proud of yourself but I know you cannot accept that you just can’t and it’s super hard. Impossible. Look at yourself in the mirror and know you are worth it mate. It doesn’t matter about the negative of what you think of yourself life throws you a shit bone most of the time. There is no rule book on life they don’t teach you this shit in school or growing up. Life is beautiful I promise you - you just forgot mate. Try and remember Dan the memories you had when life was good. Try baby steps one step at a time to try and look forward to the little things. Go for a walk, feel the wind….. walk in the river. Be a child again do things that connect you as a child. Try and remember the richness of what life offers. I hope you get better soon mate my thoughts and heart is with you pal. I’m so sorry you are in a shit place most of the time no one deserves to live like that most of all not you mate. Kinds regards Gaz. - ex para. 😊
@Chess0777
5 жыл бұрын
I don't even know what I want to say to you, or why I'm leaving this comment, but I am and I want to reach out to you even if it's just to say this person here watched your video and it got me feeling some kinda way... People do care, even if it's just random strangers on the internet your story touches, and i hope that's a cool thing to know. Hope you find your home again
@danielnepveux97E
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you friend. That's a very kind thing to say to someone you've not met before......especially on the internet....which is not really known for being kind. So thank you so much.
@Chess0777
5 жыл бұрын
You're very welcome, thank you for replying. I never expected you to so means alot also
@feralbluee
3 жыл бұрын
hi Frankiw - what a lovely comment - wish i could be as eloquent. Keep safe these days, sweetie :} 🌷
@DramaticDylan
2 жыл бұрын
My heart feels so much emotion for you Daniel. It has made room for you there. You are an incredible person.
@rana-gg2mb
4 жыл бұрын
I NEVER comment on anything on youtube and I've been staring at my keyboard now for half an hour but words are failing me . I'm sincerely moved by your story and you're absolutely powerful and brave for sharing this you ARE making a difference.❤️I am a stranger from the internet but I feel like I want to give you all the love support. thank you again and remember there is always help and hope and you are not alone in this big world ❤️
@Toweringmars
2 жыл бұрын
Daniel, I saw your SBSK interviews and that led me to your channel. I'm not even sure what to say exactly, or if words truly hold enough meaning, but that I think very highly of you for being able to cope and live with this disorder. I find myself sympathizing, and aching for some of the things you have to go through. And wish I could just give you a hug man. I guess I want you to know that you matter to me. A complete stranger. and that its not some form of pity or anything like that. I just earnestly wish you didn't have to go through these things in life. You'll be in my prayers sir, and I hope that things get better.
@piaroussy
5 жыл бұрын
It's incredibly brave of you to share this with us and I want you to know you are capable of overcoming the obstacles of the thunderstorms you may sometimes face. I hope you realize how strong you are and that some day you'll find home, too. I've slowly learnt to build my home, and found that music makes me feel safe in my darkest times. Today I read The Crows Call with a melody for some reason, it sounded strangely like a song inside my head, a song I've heard before. I don't know why I'm sharing this, but it reminded me of home and the parts of myself I want to deny, and the parts of myself I want to protect. I hope you learn how to protect the parts of yourself that are in pain, too. I hope you learn to build your home.
@sempthegreat
5 жыл бұрын
Hey Daniel. I suffer from my own cases of mental illness. You are not alone, and to post this video is exceptionally brave and inspiring. You have my utmost respect and love. Søren - Denmark
@alissamarie7898
5 жыл бұрын
I sincerely hope you were able to find your way home. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you in situations like this. But I greatly appreciate you sharing yourself so openly. And giving others a glimpse inside your world.
@trish9006
4 жыл бұрын
When you said you want to go home, dang that hit me so hard. While I do not have a schizoaffective disorder, I do suffer from severe anxiety and also have ADHD and depression. My family..lovingly or not refer to me as having a Gypsy soul, always feeling like im looking for a place to call home. That feeling of home, somewhere you feel truly loved and accepted is something I have struggled to find throughout my entire life. I often will drive around not wanting to actually go home because it does not feel like home to me. Thank you for being brave enough to show some of the really hard sides to mental illness. I have watched a few of your videos now and while I am sure they are hard sometimes to post or talk about I am glad that they help shed light on the real individual struggles that people have. It is wonderful to hear you speak about how while yes to a certain extent our shared experiences allow for a feeling of camaraderie amongst people who deal with the same mental disorders it does not mean we are cookie cutter versions. Everyone manifests in different or slightly different ways and if you manage "better" or "worse" than someone else that should not matter. You are valid wherever you fall on that spectrum and your mental health issues should be validated and respected even when having good/bad days. It is very frustrating when people say "I didnt know you had ADHD" or "You are too smart to have a learning disability" or "You seem so tough I never knew you dealt with anxiety". While these comments may come from a good place of intent they can be really damaging. People do not see the 5 times I have to go over a lecture just to understand or retain that information, or see the countless sleepless nights studying or worrying that I will forget what I have learned on exam day. They do not realize how bad my anxiety is even though I try to explain until I am on the ground completely incoherent in the middle of an anxiety attack. Please do not think that just because someone is "okay" to you or "okay" for the time being that they do not struggle. There is not one single aspect of my life that is not affected by my ADHD and my anxiety on a daily basis. Literally misplacing keys/wallet moments earlier, forgetting what I was in the middle of doing, forgetting what information was just relayed to me minutes ago if I do not write it down are just a few ways ADHD affects even very small simple parts of my day. Or feeling like people are going to hurt you all the time, being afraid of noises outside especially at night, being paranoid about anyone walking towards you or being too close to you. Or worse taking DAYS to muster strength to reply to an email, phone call or run a simple errand because all of that causes me a lot of anxiety at times. Yeah...its not fun and its not as simple as "taking my ADHD meds" or "not worrying so much". Sending you lots of love and support Daniel. We see you, and please know that even though I do not know you personally, and probably will never meet you, that you are also valid, loved and appreciated. You are so much more than your mental illness, and I hope that you find that feeling of home. Stay safe, stay strong and take things one day, one hour, one minute at a time if you have to. I may not know all of your personal struggles, but videos like this help me to see, and show just how important it is to just be there for someone to listen without assuming too much.
@MrTheLionKing1986
5 жыл бұрын
Dear Daniel, I am moved by your story (thanks to SBSK for the video), and I find you an incredibly brave man with such an awareness of yourself that is admirable. Like others have said, I am not here to compare my mental struggles to yours or anyone else's. I am only here to remind you that you have all it takes to get better. You are an extraordinarily smart man, you have the resilience, you have the kindness, you have the empathy, you have the honor, you have the the bravery, you have the delicate sensitivity of a trustworthy giving soul. Give to yourself the time, space and resources to keep getting better. Allow others into your life to make the road get easier, reach out and accept all the help you can get. One day all the pieces will fit into a new puzzle you can slowly put together piece by piece. The journey of a lifetime does begin with a small step (...and carries on with small steps along the way). Hope you feel the love through these words, I will be with you from a distance, cheering you on, rooting for you to reach new milestones. Close your eyes, and feel the love. A sea of love from Italy
@alexkariotakis6604
4 жыл бұрын
God bless you Daniel, I suffer from this disorder too. It is very difficult. My heart goes out to you.
@andertheker6664
5 жыл бұрын
Hey Dan, i am from Germany and i saw u on SBSK! You seem like such a nice person! I am a psychotherapist and ur Videos help me so much to help others (or at least i try...). Hugs from Germany! Tina
@sschroeder8210
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Dan, my name is Scott. I recently saw your interview with special books by special kids. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to raise awareness. I myself have been diagnosed with OCD, and over the past several years have been fighting my way to better understand what 'really' is my true condition. I'm quite confident that I too am schizoaffective, with borderline personality. I really appreciated how you mentioned that schizoaffective is schizophrenia + a personality disorder. That really helps me clarify my interpretation; I'm confident on bpd, but because I lack hallucinations it's frustrating for my delusional thoughts to be seen as OCD. Your hopeless romantic explanation for bpd is all too accurate. I just wanted to share my gratitude with you, since the other channel has been comment banned via KZitem. I really do appreciate you sharing the personal struggle with having to fight the stigma of society. It helps me out tremendously to be able to assimilate my experience so well to the manner of which you've described your experience. Thank you. You're not alone in this struggle.
@OpsRape
5 жыл бұрын
I always go to the same bakery every morning and this happens sometimes too, they just forget. Sometimes people are in their own world and don't pay too much attention to us, which can be nice at times. Sorry it's a bad day! Tomorrow you start something new, and the same goes for every day to come! I know you could do it dude, you're very admirable. In a lot of ways, I wish I were like you. Stay strong :-)
@h3llnite
4 жыл бұрын
I’m currently supporting a client with schizoaffective disorder. Poor person is so overwhelmed by things so easily. My boss is telling me I need to get them a job. Not going to happen I say. Boss tells me I have too. I repeat, it is not going to happen as their paranoia and anxiety is off the charts the moment they are out of their home. I’m disgusted in my employer. I’ll be helping this client in far better ways from this point onwards. They deserve better
@Jacques80120
3 жыл бұрын
God bless you!
@gazbradshaw
Жыл бұрын
It’s a tricky one life…. The joker the thief. The angel and the demon. I think in truth we probably all have our own issues from the moment we step onto this god forsaken beautiful terrible wonderful planet. It’s how we deal with those issues, how we let the various scenarios affect us. You seem a really nice intelligent person Dan it’s so weird to me / hard to grasp that this evil illness has you hooked so much. So difficult to understand when you don’t have it. I’ve felt down in my life. I have some behaviours that are a bit weird OCD, nightmares, and habit behaviours that I have to force myself to break. I’m not perfect, by no means either. In truth I don’t think any of us are and it’s ok. It’s alright to be flawed. It’s the yin and Yang of the universe and it’s ok to not feel worthy, be an idiot etc. At the same time how many people have to made laugh? How many people in your life especially before you got bad with the mental illness did you impact positively…. You are a grain of sand and nothing really, this is philosophically true but you are also as grand as the universe itself. You are the universe doing it’s silly things and laughing at itself. You are the universe saying ‘hello! I’m here this is me ….” That’s why the babies know the first game ‘hiiiiide peep po’ they know thus instinctively. It’s ok to feel a failure no of us can win all the time. Baby steps mate to climb the mountain or do the tab eh stick the Bergan on and get that tab done 1 mile at a time, glory awaits those that dare to win, dare to challenge the universe and themselves. After all challenging the universe IS challenging yourself. The world / life is a big messy messed up game with twists and turns and each day should be a new adventure for you no matter what happens. You have to commit some karmic action to get a result. So you need to take some action (hopefully positive) to bring you an outcome, you know this your a ex soldier gotta be done only get out what you put in, easy said than done eh. I know logically you can reason this. How does one make himself feel it. …… 🫠maybe don’t overthink it and just do a few baby steps see what’s happens and let the chips fall where they may…… hope you have a good / better day soon buddy. 😊
@TheReglu
5 жыл бұрын
You will always have my support and love. I hope someday you won’t have to experience such pain anymore.
@aligator9552
Жыл бұрын
Hi Daniel. Watching you go through this is gut wrenching. Sometimes I go through what you show here but purely in my mind and outside I am completely composed. You deserve so much better as many of us do. Despite some of the horrible people you have run across lately online, I can guarantee 99.99999 percent of everyone else cares and roots for you everyday. I realize there is not much aside from moral support we can give, I did contribute to your dental Gofundme account though. Take care brother!
@huntinphil1
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you man . So much . Today seems less confusing for me
@sum1138
4 жыл бұрын
I saw you on a video of SBSK (Special Books by Special Kids) and you really touched me :3 and then 2 weeks later I was diagnosed with a depressive schizoaffective disorder 😓 it's actually quite refreshing to finally have a name to the issues that have tortured me most of my life and to finally not be told "you're just an angsty teenager it'll change". Its not as advanced as yours but I do definitely understand at least a bit what you're going through. That video you did with SBSK was really interesting and I remember thinking the whole time how well spoken, charming, and good at explaining things you were. You were spittin some straight facts. I really do wish that at some point to can find whatever you can consider home and that itll wrap you up and make you feel safe and warm and loved. And that you do find some happiness along the way ♡♡♡ P.S. I also thought the stuffed animals were cute, I also have quite a few and they keep my stress down. I dont sleep without them :P take care!!!!
@jimpetersman2619
5 жыл бұрын
My mother has Alzheimer’s and often speaks of the desire to go “home”, even when she was sitting in her own home. I think it’s a common theme in our always digitally connected and global society. We’re surrounded by many yet all alone. There’s an interesting TED talk on the subject and how it may relate to veteran ptsd: kzitem.info/news/bejne/0G96tIuBb4mXhKw
@jenniferpaul3763
4 жыл бұрын
Im so sorry for the many bad days you must have had and maybe still having.. I will always pray for you to find some ease and solace soon.. I feel really so sad for you.. This is the first time I have seen you or heard you and it takes a lot of courage to show our own problens to others. In one more video you said you have to keep a straight face on inspite of all the turmoil within you and I know thats tiring and frustrating. I can only pray and hope that you have more better days in life than the bad ones.. Take care.
@feralbluee
3 жыл бұрын
hi Daniel - i just saw your SBSK interview for the second time and found out you have these videos. i have some, compared to you, minor psychiatric issues and my best friend is borderline. i can only imagine what goes on in your head, but i do understand those dark places. i wish you could go Home, too. you have made me understand schizpphrania more than anyone else. i and your viewiers are with you. You are a beautiful person, Sir Daniel - it just comes through you. and i am so glad you are getting help, now. i wish i could be there to be your friend, but i'll try this way. i know that so many people write you here and that it's hard for you to answer, so that won't matter. (i, myself, hate the phone - it's hard for me to call people.) Please be careful driving - and do pull over til you feel better. there are days when it's worth being around here, there really are. Keep safe, sweet man. . . 🐶🌷
@Dolas_Nolabouy
4 жыл бұрын
It pains me to see this perfect person suffer so greatly.
@daneofarrell9460
2 жыл бұрын
With such a hard to watch video I was wondering what the description was going to be…and like always it up lifting. I don’t know how you do it my friend, but you help me so much more than you know. Thankyou
@guhrizzlybaire
4 жыл бұрын
There were times when I would get very disassociated to my reality and just drive and drive and basically have a meltdown and get lost (this was before having a phone with gps), I know EXACTLY what you mean by wanting to feel “home”. I’m not diagnosed with anything besides bipolar 2 (have not found the right doc) but my whole life I have felt that, it’s like fear of missing out but it’s the fear of never making it home. I want to feel calmed down and safe. Want to feel okay to be myself. Whenever I watch the videos you share, I feel a very deep personal connection to you even though we are strangers. I think about you a lot and hope you are surviving. Especially right now things are extra hard and I saw your most recent video too. Sending so much love to you.
@larryb8022
3 жыл бұрын
Daniel, I wish I was their I hug you hold you and do all I could for you. Your a amazing man, and your fighting a very hard dark war. You have to focus on the light, think of happiness, happy places, happy times. Maybe go relax in the water and cool down.❤️🙏🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻
@cleetustheleprechaun8368
3 жыл бұрын
man you are an awesome person, I may not know what its like to be in your shoes but I battle everyday to keep my composure in public as well, you are a monument to everyone with this disability, I too have voices in my head, and like you said in an interview once, (thats how i found you lolz) its not different personality's but they aren't me...and I deal with them everyday and it can be a struggle to be able to keep going even when the majority of them are trying to break you down, and then on top of that the anxiety of keeping it together even while out in public bc your worried about what they are going to think and then thats when the panic attacks hit you..and its a vicious cycle...thats my everyday life...point being it can be hard to deal with this stuff and honestly your a hero to me man you really are keep on keeping on
@ShaggyAbby
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for being brave enough to share this. It broke my heart hearing you’re confused and you tried to go somewhere familiar so others could confirm things for you ( I think that’s what you meant). It must be a scary world you live in im beyond proud of you. You’re truly stronger and more brave than most dealing with this daily
@4oughthooksTx
2 жыл бұрын
Always here for you brother. Not kidding.
@truehouselife
4 жыл бұрын
I have always longed for that home feeling , but I believe it’s because we all use to be there & now we are here facing difficulties and trials so we miss it
@aliciamarie9704
4 жыл бұрын
I have a HUGE respect for you! I experienced psychosis/delusions once, a long time ago. I had just lost my dad and turned to religion/the Bible. I convinced myself that I no longer needed sleep or food. This went on for about 7 days, until I started to lose my grasp on reality. Trigger Warning, do not read on if this will cause bad thoughts! I’m sharing my delusions. I became paranoid. If I heard a gunshot outside from hunters, my mind would spin it into something crazy. I thought police or the FBI were in our woods looking for growing marijuana and we’d get blamed. That would lead to me calling a neighbor to ask what was going on. Then they’d think I was crazy. I’d forget who I was on the phone with. I’d think they were lying and somehow changing their voice. The phone was always tapped. I was being watched, laughed at. I would imagine people coming to the door and speaking to them in front of other people....then after referring to the event to the person who had been there with me, they’d act like I was crazy...that it never happened. So I’d think I was being fucked with. I was constantly confused and humiliated and paranoid about the intentions of everyone around me. I was convinced that an uncle came into where I worked, posing as my father to see if I was losing it. I started to tell all my coworkers. I imagined things in my past that never happened, thinking I had blocked certain things out. I became convinced that I’d been sexually molested by a family member. I will never figure out what really was happening during that time. No one took me to a doctor or even acknowledged it. They just thought I was odd and went on with their day (maybe I was good a concealing it, idk). The fact that you deal with what you deal with ON TOP of several other debilitating mental illnesses makes you a rock star. You have amazing stamina for getting through each day. If there is anything I can offer as help, I’ll do whatever I can. Thank you for being an inspiration. Have a great day.
@aliciamarie9704
4 жыл бұрын
I meant to add that I thought my uncle was posing as my father (who had passed away about a month prior). I thought my mom and family has asked him to do this to see if I knew it wasn’t really my dad.
@ghoste_girll
4 жыл бұрын
When you said you just want to go home and not actual home but that feeling of home, it resonates a lot with me too.. I found out i have severed dp and even though it's not as bad as schizophrenia i can tell you it's still horrible to deal with, my prayers go out to you 💖 we can't lose such a pure hearted person 😞
@TheAuntieBa
4 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry you have these truly bad days. Must be awful! Especially not finding your stuffies. Mine, and my dolls, have been my true family since I was two years old...and I’m nearing seventy now. I hope you’re in a better place today. You deserve a good day!
@moltaz1
3 жыл бұрын
I wish there was anything I could do to make you feel better. I really do. You’re such a strong man. Sending tons of love from Sweden.
@GuaroLlanero
4 жыл бұрын
Hey man, you are very brave for sharing your experience and letting people have an insight into your life and your struggles. Keep fighting!
@m00nlightnew
4 жыл бұрын
I have the same sensory toy thing. Mine is pink, blue and clear. It really helps. We in this together. I have schizoaffective bipolar type and it's hard just to socialize, sometimes I can't leave the house. You're doing so well with being outside.
@amandabialkowski9131
2 жыл бұрын
Ughh can I plz hug you. Sending good vibes your way. Stay strong..you are 🤩🤩🤩
@Fidgetbear911
4 жыл бұрын
Daniel, I am sorry you are feeling such pain and confusion, I can see that you are an strong person, You are BRAVE to share your story and can really help people to know they are not alone. The biggest thing I wish for you is to love yourself, It is so very important. Love is at the core of all truly great things and can conquer some of the hardships of life. I will be thinking about you and sending brotherly love in my thoughts and prayers. BTW Thank you for sharing your poems, I enjoyed reading them and can relate to the feelings.
@K-A5
3 жыл бұрын
Hey Mr Daniel..I just watched your interviews on the Special Books by Special Kids channel and I had to come check out your channel. First of all, youre super handsome. I know thats a little out of left field on a video like this but when I watched the SBbySK videos that was the first thing I noticed. Your hair is a very unique pretty shade of brownish red. Youre so articulate and have a good sense of humor too. Its obvious youre struggling with a lot but I think its working. I think youll manage this to the point you wont meet the criteria for any of these diagnoses anymore (After 28 years having undiagnosed CPTSD, 3 years with it diagnosed, I no longer meet the criteria for it! In the past 3 years Ive done so much work on myself my therapist told me last month I longer meet the criteria for CPTSD. I've done so much work on myself since just 3 years ago I was suicidal and hopeless. So now that the worst of my trauma is healed, I now see my therapist for attachment trauma issues and life coaching so I can decide how to make the kind of life I want now that Ive learned to mostly regulate my body and mind. Theres a documentary called Take These Broken Wings: Healing Schizophrenia by Daniel Mackler, you can find it here: kzitem.info/news/bejne/poacsZdjjZ2fioo He used to be a therapist and stopped practicing after he realized the system is not kind to those with mental illness. This documentary he made is about how individuals with schizophrenia have been cured of it to show people its very possible to heal such a misunderstood and exhausting disorder. So I hope that brings you relief and validation about your own struggles.) And theres so much recent somatic therapies and brain science coming out and epigentic science...I dont think our generation is doomed forever like past generations with mental illnesses due to being having so much ignorance around these issues. We know now that our brains are neuroplastic, we can change every day for real! Slowly but surely. Epigenetics, lower stress and nutritious food can affect our mental health drastically. Theres so much we're learning about trauma and mental illness and our bodies recently. We are not prisoners of our genes or our minds. Also, if you havent heard of these check out the following somatic therapies to help regulate your body and feelings: Somatic Experiencing with Peter Levine. Heres a soldier releasing trauma from his body: kzitem.info/news/bejne/1GeI1IifqZuGkoY kzitem.info/news/bejne/rZ-OtYGCqHaeaW0 kzitem.info/news/bejne/z6OAqp-wfX-dn5g TRE (Trauma Releasing Exercises) by David Berceli. Heres a navy seal releasing trauma with this method: What is TRE? kzitem.info/news/bejne/xoeh3YCojKqVaKw Demonstration and explanation of whats happening during TRE: kzitem.info/news/bejne/sZxt3X2qr4dmn44 And Emotional Release Therapy by Pat Jackman using gentle touch to release deeply painful emotions: A client and practioner does a session and interview with Pat Jackman explaining releasing trauma in the body with ERT kzitem.info/news/bejne/maqjzpOgn5NnbII Pat Jackman's channel kzitem.info/rock/8mLizf0IdxLQjW8Se7DAJQ Ive had a few sessions of this therapy done, and holy shit it feels good to just scream and cry and get it all out with someone calmly suporting you and gently keeping a hand on you to keep you grounded. I mean, how often is it socially acceptable to just scream and have someone support you as you release it safely and not be scared by the big emotions trauma makes us feel? How amazing it felt to not hide it and release it all AND have someone witness my pain with compassion 🤗 I know this is a year old video, but in case you ever feel the desperation of wanting to go "home" again..I might have a helpful tip for you. When I started meditation 3 years ago when I began therapy, my mind was a chaotic scary mess. I was too scared to close my eyes to meditate, thats how afraid of the dark I was. Also slept with my lights on. Since then I have realized when my thoughts are swirling in a chaotic exhausting panic, I need time for my body to calm down before I can even sort through and process my thoughts. So I'll use this visual to start with: I imagine I am walking through a rainforest and every thought is a huge leaf or vine that I am deliberately yet nonchalantly pushing away from me as I make my way through the forest. My goal is to get to a clearing but I have no idea when or where that is...so I keep walking in my mental forest until there are no thoughts/leafs to push away from me. Eventually I will get to a mental space of clarity that resembles a clearing in a forest and thats where the peace and calm is. I stay there for as long as possible, just appreciating how expansive and sunlight it is. My therapist has also taught me about "emotional signatures" behind thoughts. So any thought that has fear, shame, false guilt tripping, dread or a sense of urgency at its root, is an egoic thought that can be ignored as having to do with mental illness. These thoughts dont need to be negotiated with, they can be ignored because theyre not based on reality. You can tell theyre not based on reality because they dont help you navigate reality. Those feelings make thoughts that are dead ends or get you stuck in fear loops. (True genuine fear is healthy and necessary for living and surviving but it will always be followed with useful action, not anxiety and hypervigilance about "what if this and what if that..." ad nauseam.) On the other hand, feelings of peace, comfort, joyful curiosity and familiarity will lead you to your self, will lead you "home" inside yourself. Dont follow thoughts when meditating...follow feelings first and question the feeling behind each thought that comes up to take an inventory of them so you can determine your response. If a thought has a feeling of peace, comfort or joyful curiosity and you follow those thoughts you will find a feeling of familiarity within yourself. Slowly but surely you will remember what "home" feels like as you connect with yourself because yourself feels genuinely familiar to you..like "oh yeah, *this* is me, I forgot I used to enjoy being me in this way but this is how I was always supposed to be." If you dont need my advice thats ok. I just think youre doing so amazing and I wanted to share whats helped me. I hope it helps you and if it doesnt, I hope you find what feels good and keep moving towards the goodness and the calm. And finally, check out the CPTSD and CPTSDNEXTSTEPS boards on reddit. Theyre very welcoming and helpful of comorbid diagnoses and if you need emotional support and lots of references, books, therapies, etc for healing trauma.
@JarvoD
2 жыл бұрын
You're so strong Daniel ❤️
@TaiNguyen-um2ji
3 жыл бұрын
Hugs man and wish you all the best... you are worth it and you are beautiful!!!
@mirikira8632
4 жыл бұрын
You are scared, confused and there is nobody there to help you. Any person who doesn't have a mental illness, can agree, they have been there. I have. I have had moments when I didn't know where to go or what to do. We've all been at least a bit paranoid, scared, confused, disoriented at some point. I think that all of these feelings are intensified in your case and you become more and more agitated. You can calm down. It will not always be like this. You have bad days, but you can find something or someone that can keep you grounded. You are amazing and I have seen your interview on SBSK, you didn't even notice how much calmer you were at fhe end of the interview, compared to the beginning. That is progress. I also saw that you don't think that you have much to offer, that are worthy of ( I believe) love and friendship. You are. You can have friends, you can educate them on what is going on, you can be loved, you don't even realize how amazing you are. You are well spoken, you are handsome and you are quite aware of what goes on in your mind. Most people don't know so many things about how their minds work. And happiness, you will experience it again, don't think about your illness as a burden, embrace what you feel and find that something that makes you feel safe and grounded. I would advise you to try meditation and methods to calm yourself down, that can help in the long run. But most importantly, don't forget that you are a great guy. Illness can creep up to anyone in any moment, but it will never change the person within. And you are a fighter. I believe that you can get control over this illness, the human brain is incredibly powerful, you just have to believe and work hard to achieve balance. And remember, don't let any illness dictate if you are going to be happy again, if you're going to be loved or have friends. No illness have gained the right to take anything away from you. I am so glad that I found you here, I watched your interview 3 times and was wondering how you've been. Sorry for the long post.
@michaelsimon6868
4 жыл бұрын
God bless you. I’m so saddened that someone has to go through this. You need to know that us, the people watching your videos are so beyond proud of you, you have come so far. You are a fine example of perseverance.
@gracelove2774
3 жыл бұрын
I too say the same thing when im hurting badly n going through stuff.. "i want to go home." A yearning for a place u know feels good n comfortable and where ur loved.
@VioletJoy
3 жыл бұрын
How incredibly vulnerable for you to share this moment with us. I'm really glad to see so much support in the comments. It seems many of us were worried about you driving in that state of mind. Thankfully I knew you survived because I just watched your latest video on SBSK. Lol. But seriously, I hope expressing your thoughts and emotions is at least somewhat of a relief and seeing the support here is encouraging. 💙
@annalampilahansen2790
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. I don't understand what this feels like but I value your honesty and openness.
@lisehoward3077
3 жыл бұрын
K Daniel. Thank You so much for sharing your truth. God Bless you young man. My 30yr old son has some sort of scizophrenic as well. You help understand him better. I Feel the same way as you sometimes too. Keep facing the day come what may. Blessings and Pray for Peace.
@ookipuki
3 жыл бұрын
Special books by special kids 's channel touched my heart with this man. I only just found this video.... is this his channel? I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) with anxiety so i cry easily and i feel immense pain for others. Too sensitive. And i can feel peoples emotions they cannot lie to me. But this hurts so much to watch. I'm also in a relationship with someone who is Schizophrenic and has severe PTSD, ocd, depression and Chronic Lymes disease. Sometimes its hard to keep hope, bit thays what we,need. Love, patience and understanding even for things hard to understand. The world needs less greed and negligence.... It hurts so much i just want to take everyones pain away.
@SilverFlame819
2 жыл бұрын
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, that feeling of wanting to go home, of craving that feeling of home, resonates so hard with me.
@iwillloveyoursoulifyourepl5557
2 жыл бұрын
Its a very sad, anxious and hopeless feeling its just like when you were sleeping over as a kid and you missed home while being home, its not nice.
@dianas.b.naranjo5997
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Daniel, how are you? Im from Colombia, and I just wanna tell you that you are so brave and strong. You're an amazing person, and you deserve the feeling of home, and I can sware you that you're going to get it. The things get better, in some moment, always. Stay safe.
@Mtz2604
3 жыл бұрын
I can feel you. You have this gift of self expression that goes throughout my heart like an arrow. You don't even need to say a lot, parts of your videos just share details of your face or glance, or your body language and I can relate the emotion you might be going through. Thanks for keeping your health as bes as you can. I wish Veteran's like you are supported the way they deserve. You deserve a lot in this hard world.
@justChrisjones
4 жыл бұрын
I wish I could take care of him.
@mygirldarby
4 жыл бұрын
He needs inpatient care. It would be very difficult, maybe impossible, to take care of him all by yourself. This is such a serious disorder and needs to be treated medically and with qualified doctors.
@etjetjtej5820
3 жыл бұрын
That fact you can speak about it is more then what most people can do, my mother has never opened up about her Schizophrenia and its mostly because of society in my opinion, yes the illness can make it hard to talk but society is worse then the illness itself and the best thing is we can change society and when you change society you improve the whole system and maybe one day mental illness wont be so hard. Never give up hope, always have Sisu. (Sisu- seesue, means exterme determination especially im the face of adversity)
@hanineoub921
4 жыл бұрын
Dear Daniel, I heard about your story today on KZitem. and heard about your struggles and your fears. your pain is huge. but the support you have in us your followers is real. i am not at the level to understand everything you have been through for sure. because no one can imagine your pain. but i would say that i do appreciate your strength. you are so handsome so strong and so amazing. you are incredibly strong to be able to contain all this in you. be always brave. believe in yourself. love yourself because you're a special and amazing soul. the presence of people like you courage and honest makes the world a better place. you are not different, you are just misunderstood with a big heavy weight on your shoulders. try always to keep the people who loves you around you and accept love from everyone . we all admire you Dan. you are the best!
@amylou97
5 жыл бұрын
Your story on SBSK was so moving. It must be so difficult to be so open and honest about your struggles. I cant imagine what you're going through every day, and I admire you for your courage and determination to keep going! I think you and your video will help so many other people struggling with mental health issues. You have all my support! 😊
@Pinkcouture111
4 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry you get so unwell I just hope then eat for you and thanks for sharing with us all
@AJ-nu5qx
3 жыл бұрын
♥️I see you, Daniel. ♥️I esteem you, Daniel. ♥️You are beautiful, Daniel. ♥️I love you, Daniel.
@kikist8368
4 жыл бұрын
Hey Daniel! You popped up on my recommended videos today, I don't know why but I want to say I'm glad you did! I'm very impressed of how well you manage this. It seems very hard and even though you may think you're not copping well some days, your video says otherwise. You're amazing!
@anonmouse2253
4 жыл бұрын
Hey Daniel ☺️ I’m new to your channel, but I’ve already watched all of your videos. I struggle with sleep paralysis. I wouldn’t dare say that it’s comparable to what you’re going thru, as I can imagine it is so much harder to be you, I’m blessed that I can wake up from my delusions, my point in saying this is I just think You are incredible. You inspire me, and You are brave. And so intelligent. I can see your big heart. I see you. I’ll forever be sending good vibes your way. Thank you so much for sharing yourself with the world! ❤️❤️❤️
@Oswadomob
4 жыл бұрын
Your videos will be eye opening to a lot of people who are uneducated. You’re giving a voice to the voiceless, so to speak. Incredibly brave and powerful stuff you’re doing, well done ❤️
@kyliebenton4683
3 жыл бұрын
I love when you post poems in the description! It really shows creativity amongst the chaos
@worldflat4016
2 жыл бұрын
Hey Daniel, you're amazing! You're going to be Okay!. Keep posting. Wew wanna see you more.
@jappyhoy
3 жыл бұрын
I first saw you nearly a year ago on SBSK. And I have watched your video many times. Please keep doing what you do. Never be afraid to reach out. You are worthy. You are loved.
@hugtheworld2922
3 жыл бұрын
I too experience confusion, paranoia and intense emotional loneliness. It’s hard to reconcile or attempt recovery when I’m always getting disdain and judgment from those that can’t open themselves enough to feel unconditional compassion. I wish I had your bravery and insight into the complexities living life in today’s world. Thank you for showing me I’m not alone.... I wish we were in the same continent so I could help you as you’ve helped me. Good luck.
@nicolasmontagne4993
3 жыл бұрын
You're so cute and brave. I wish I could cuddle all your darkness away forever. I hope you'll get better very soon. Love from Paris, France.
@greg-6205
5 жыл бұрын
Brother. You’re a brave man for facing the world head first and educating all of us about this. All the love and support from Killeen Texas
@Gigi.garrett22
3 жыл бұрын
I know how u feel. I wish I could just hug u. I'm so sorry for what ur going through. Please know I'm praying for you. I wish u the best in life. Sending positive thoughts ur way.🙏🙏🙏
@edytak.9045
3 жыл бұрын
I'm from Poland. Soo far, but so close to you. With you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@sheis8091
5 жыл бұрын
Heartbreaking video. Hope you are safe and sound now x
@jackichemslave
4 жыл бұрын
This made me cry. I felt this way earlier this year, just not understanding anything around me, scared of people. I didn’t sleep for 4 / 5 days and ended up inpatient. I’m so sorry, I understand you. I hope you’re doing okay.
@nathheast5829
4 жыл бұрын
Man you have my full support. I appreciate how articulate you try to be and how articulate you are in expressing your struggles and how they affect you. I truly believe your testimony helps people understand mental illness, it certainly is the case for me. I wish you all the very best.
@tamasamoa1931
3 жыл бұрын
My heart, my thoughts and compassion are with you. I will try to always think about you and others who are going through their struggles of having some kind of sense of normalcy and how a simple act of kindness and understanding could help in some way. I am thinking about you Daniel and others and I am rooting for you always. Sending you the biggest hugs.
@PleaseForgiveYourself
4 жыл бұрын
Hey Dan, I don't know you personally, but just thought I'd stop by to say thank you for being so vunerable and showing us this moment. I suffer from mental illness and other health related issues. I have similar episodes on occasion and it's comforting to know I'm not alone and completely insane. Much love brother.
@k1tz3n50
4 жыл бұрын
Dear Dan, I saw you SBSK and wanted to see if you had a channel, which you do. I hope you get better and get to have the comfort of being ‘home’ because you are in a dark place right now and I know that you’re feeling bad. My mom struggles with depression and anxiety. I just want you to feel better and I want you to know that we all hope you get a lot better!
@ebbafelicia
4 жыл бұрын
Hi Daniel! Thank you so much for sharing these videos. I hope people appreciate them as much as I do and that they can make people understand your condition, and you as a person. I hope you are doing well, and I hope you will find that “sense of being at home”. I really wish the best for you. Kind regards
@freddies9582
4 жыл бұрын
Feeling loads of love for you Daniel. I hear you. I get that same wanting to go home feeling but not really knowing where or how. I had it really bad 5/6 years ago. It's improved loads thanks to reaching out and I have felt more and more at home ever since. You're vids have helped me. Thanks!
@karenamaropicazo6960
3 жыл бұрын
I also go through difficult times and I want to tell you that seeing you I realize that you are a very strong and amazing person. I love you Daniel ❤❣
@Blinqdd
3 жыл бұрын
Eventhough its an older video, I would like you to know that its ok to have good and bad days, and everyone has them. Please do not be ashamed of it. It really opens my eyes to hear you describe your feelings. I pray for you and wish you all the best! Kind regards from The Netherlands
@oneoftheshadows5824
3 жыл бұрын
Brother stay strong, I know that it is hard. I always feel almost like the exact same, loss of sense in direction or self identity in every way. But you are awesome and wonderful and I wish you could feel better. Please keep posting~!
@BonkersBaphomet
3 жыл бұрын
I can relate to wanting to go home but not knowing what home is. Much love for you my friend. Stay strong.
@Maguraaa
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking with us
@emillie4304
4 жыл бұрын
I am sending all my love and care to you Daniel, you are a shining light! Please never forget you are beautiful and worthy of life and love and happiness xx
@adrianahlz1895
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for opening up about your struggles, I feel hopeful that the world is becoming more and more open towards discussing mental health and there is less stigma attached to it. I hope that the science around mental health advances so much that in the future there are better treatments and people do not have to suffer like this. I guess I am not the only one that has seen your videos and has become teary eyed and has the urge to hug you! I wanted to ask you, for us strangers on the internet, what can we do to help? Could we send you some new sensory toys? Or you could write a book of poems we can buy? Or donate/volunteer in an organization to help other people? I am sorry if these are stupid suggestions, i just want to know from your perspective, what we can do to make your life better. Update! Just the video from two weeks ago with a book announcement, gonna get it now on kindle!! Very excited to read it!
@redpandagamingz6987
4 жыл бұрын
I can’t say I know how you feel because I know the intensity is far beyond my understanding, but I just want to say, your poems are amazing, I wish I could meet you, and you have a superpower and I think that you are so so strong for living with your superpowers, keep uploading! I love you!
@Chuleta_9
4 жыл бұрын
I understand the longing for home. I have it every day and I feel like I’m trapped here in this disgusting human body, this horrible mind and nightmare of a world. To me though, I know I don’t belong in this world, and I can’t wait to get out of it. There is no acceptance from anything. But home, oh I know it so well, even when I can’t remember it with mental images. I don’t know where it is, I don’t know how it looks, but I know that it’s welcoming, embracing, I feel completely loved, wanted, whole, known and like myself among others things. But I do have to admit, as much as I hate this place, I do find specs of home here, like in my best friend who embraced me from the beginning, and shares these same feelings of being a foreign soul. His presence is all I need to recharge. I think you’re an extremely sensitive soul. Sensitive, a word that many times is passed as weakness, when in reality it’s the level one is in tune with their own energy and the energies that surround them. It’s strength. I think you pick up on that, on the tiny details of each frequency. And while in this dense world it can feel like a real curse, but it can also be a true blessing when you get to experience the good things at such an intense level. Ever since I saw your interview on SBSK I’ve wanted to give you a hug :( I know I can’t say or do much to make you feel better, but at least know that you are not alone in what you feel. Almost everything you said resonated with me, and I cried from the very beginning because I truly felt it in my chest. And I’m sure there are others who felt it too. So, even though it isn’t much, *internet HUG*!
@AudriusMikalajunas
3 жыл бұрын
You made me so happy you have your own youtube channel. That's amazing! I think that home is peace within. You breathed in air which is the sign of tiredness. You sang because music releases neurotransmitter called dopamine. Music is a food for the brains.
@LalaDirtyDesert
5 жыл бұрын
I think you’re amazing. I feel so many of the same things on a daily basis. I saw your video on SBSK and I couldn’t believe how much I feel, think, see, hear so many same things. I’m someone who is here for you if you ever need it. I’m just glad I found your channel. I’m glad you have the courage to share your experience. I’m gonna keep checking on your channel because I want to see your journey.
@jocefjose6004
5 жыл бұрын
It's so hard to watch this in a way you're struggling to grasp the moment, but i do wish you better days ahead. Keep your head moving on man
@noreensirianni3135
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Daniel for sharing your life with us all. You're not alone, read Matthew Chapter 5 and you'll start to understand what and why. Stay strong and PERSEVERE!
@pablofurnace
4 жыл бұрын
We all want to go home baby boy! Your struggle is hard and I would never want you to feel like I am minimizing your pain. Your pain is real and palpable. Please just know we all feel this same way on any given day. ❤️🧸 -Gina Marie
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