A big thing that's helped me stay in touch with friends of varying economic statuses (a chemist, a server admin, a grad student, a security guard, and a shift manager at Target) is that we try to keep money out of our friendship. We play DnD together, we have game nights at someone's home, we have potlucks. We don't really go out to restaurants or for drinks together. Like, yeah, we know some of us make more than others, but we try to arrange things so that money doesn't matter. We're just a group of people who go way back and like to keep in touch. And hopefully that dynamic will survive when the grad student graduates and will quite possibly be making double what the current "well-off" friends are making.
@ciarancooper394
9 ай бұрын
Exactly! And when I want to do something big, I make sure my friends are covered. I totally agree.
@autumnhomer9786
9 ай бұрын
🎀That is a great idea. What you have done.🎀
@artemisameretsu6905
9 ай бұрын
Same! I pay for pizza we bring to out local game shop no charge and some of the players who can afford to will slip me a fiver or (occasionally) giggle maniacally, shove ten bucks in one's in my hands so i can't tell exactly how much it is right away and run off 😂 But some of our players can't afford it or bring something else to the table like cups or napkins or soda and I won't take their cash regardless
@SeniorSunday
8 ай бұрын
This is spot on! I've been playing D&D (or board games) every other saturday with the same group of friends for 10 years, and it really does help to keep money out of the friendship.
@maryjanefry
8 ай бұрын
What is D&D?
@InDalj
8 ай бұрын
One should be able to say, I can’t afford it, and not feel guilty or ashamed. How others respond to that reflects on them only.
@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty
8 ай бұрын
Okay, but if everything they suggest or go do is out of your price range then it's not a matter of shame. It's a matter of ability. Which is why it's most important to have reasonable suggestions, because shame isn't the only bad outcome of bad suggestions.
@user-ph4nj1ds3n
8 ай бұрын
@@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kittywhile I agree that you have to be conscious in that kind of situations, both parties have to be flexible as well. Budget and have realistic expectations instead of outright shame the other individual.
@Nonsense116
8 ай бұрын
Totally I think it's a pride thing though. I don't think good friends will have an issue if their friend can't afford something, but it's so hard to claim that you can't because you feel like you failed
@stevethepussycat9968
8 ай бұрын
Especially in this economy 😵💫
@divyasasidharan2960
7 ай бұрын
But that's not the point of the vdo. Ultimately how they respond can b no friendship. The goal is to keep friends so its upon the wealthier one to make sure they don't involve too much money related things on their friends. The top comment in this vdo gives a great example of how it's done. Coz anyone can say I can't afford n walk away.
@katherineburtt2502
9 ай бұрын
If you can’t afford your friends, your friends don’t care enough about you to take your needs into consideration. One of my best friends was out of work for 9 months and I was aware that she didn’t have any expendable income so I planned out hang outs accordingly and didn’t suggest anything that cost money if I couldn’t cover the cost for both of us. I cared more about having her there to share experiences with me than I did about the money I spent to have her there.
@kerblam
9 ай бұрын
you're a real one!! your friends are lucky to have u. 😁
@FaithfulFran08
8 ай бұрын
Well said. I don’t understand how that is an issue. That means to me they aren’t really friends if it becomes mental health issues for one person or ppl stop being friends because of it. That’s ridiculous
@barefeetz4977
8 ай бұрын
Amen!!
@ana419
8 ай бұрын
Sweet! Can I be your friend, too? 😊
@llleiea
8 ай бұрын
That’s exactly how it should be done. Normally I meet with a friend who I know struggles a bit in a café or at home. But I also invite her to especially nice restaurants for her birthday so we can have some luxury together, without it being awkward that I am buying. And it’s always nice to indulge and her not worrying about the bill. And btw she is a better friend to me then any birthday invitation can show
@NicEeEe843
8 ай бұрын
“Not suggesting things people can’t afford” is probably the most important point
@rachellechavez9739
8 ай бұрын
Its always more fun
@hydradjinn
7 ай бұрын
No! They should be suggesting something then.
@hydradjinn
6 ай бұрын
@@moonystar6291 it's rude to assume people's finances no matter where on the spectrum they are. It's rude to not invite people to plans. Put your pride aside, and say something like, "hey you know, that sounds like fun, but not something I am able to achieve at this time, what if we planned for that and set the date sometime in the future, and let's do this instead?" It's not the worlds responsibility to cater around your feelings, it's not the worlds responsibility to cater around your finances. It's rude to expect everyone to do that for you.
@EasyNaturalLiving
5 ай бұрын
@@hydradjinn what you mean 'assuming someones finances', we were talking about long-term friendships so I guess the only thing that was assumed here is that one already KNOWS about the finances of the other people involved
@EasyNaturalLiving
5 ай бұрын
@@hydradjinnand of course it's the more privileged persons responsibility to bridge the gap - would be a shitty friend if he/she rises in their carreers and suddenly is to good to hang out with the same people in the same places. When you are a real friend and feel the necessity to do something expensive with your friends, you invite them. Like, you want your friends to fly somewhere special to celebrate your wedding although you know they can't afford to do so? You pay for their tickets then
@bogwitch2.080
9 ай бұрын
I had a friend (she dumped me after her lavish wedding because i could only afford a 40$ gift) who knew i had no money due to being laid off. I bussed to her place one time and she promised that she would drive me home after since we'd be hanging out pretty late, and then at around midnight she said "do you think you should call an uber or something?" because the busses had finished for the night. didn't even cross her mind to let me stay over, actually keep her word or even think I couldn't afford the 40$ uber back into town. I felt so betrayed because i lost so much money (to me) and she was making 7k every few weeks. she even made a joke about how she wished she could have hired me as her assistant but she was paying someone in a third world country way less than minimum wage so she couldn't "afford" me. I'm so glad we aren't friends anymore.
@cmg25
9 ай бұрын
Sounds like she had other atrocious flaws and this was just a catalyst for moving on.
@itmeeeez
9 ай бұрын
Glad that's over
@Sky-yh3ml
9 ай бұрын
See this why I don’t have so called friends every fiend is friendly like your no good ex pal! No way would I go to anyone’s wedding it’s not your L less u go there! I can eat drink solo real good!
@bunnykatsoracle3275
9 ай бұрын
Oh man, I think we were "friends" with the same b!! Good riddance! My life is so much more peaceful without her.
@prashunpcchakraborty70
9 ай бұрын
This is terrible but people more often than not will value real friendships, I think she will be back in your life, I hope there is enough goodwill between the two of you to get back together. World is a better place with more well wishers.
@christopherconkright1317
9 ай бұрын
I agree. I noticed a trend about bills on TikTok someone invited a bunch of poor friends to and expensive place then they have to pay. Well either go somewhere cheaper or don’t invite those people don’t blast them on social media. I remember me and my exwife invited to a wedding. She wanted her to be a brides maid we just had our third kid. My ex said if you pay I’ll do it. She was so offended. The dress was 400$ for one time wear. I mean 3 kids are not cheap. Wasn’t till 8 years later she called to apologize. She has 3 kids and a friend did the same to her. Universe will teach you.
@kamilareeder1493
8 ай бұрын
I work as a ballet/ballroom dancer and teacher. People don't always know that I keep only 10% of what my rate is at the studio, where I teach 🥲🤷♂️🩰 And minimum wage to be in a dance company with a small bonus for performances. All except a few of my friends have mocked my life choice, but Im happy I didn't throw away my one gift 🩰😌 A lot of my friends make way more money than me and when I had a career setback and didn't get my contract renewed after a season with the ballet company, those friends acted like they didn't know me at all 💀✋💔 Now I'm on a ballroom dance team, and they've all called me to "catch up" now that I've won a title 😅
@shaolinqueen3684
8 ай бұрын
They should have known the place was expensive. They probably expect her to pay their tab.
@christopherconkright1317
8 ай бұрын
@@shaolinqueen3684 in my example it was expected we would pay. Also I am old and we didn't have internet nor cell phones in the 90's just pagers.so to know it was expensive took showing up once. Most people show up and they are like oh there is this new restaurant. Most people are embarrassed to mention how poor they really are. Nowadays social media makes you feel you need to front or fake a great life when most are barely hanging on.something like half of america makes 31k or less.
@Egalitarianism_Secularism
8 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Oh so there wasn’t a friends episode about exactly this and it’s not a two decade + old topic??? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@R_S747
8 ай бұрын
@@shaolinqueen3684um if you invite me somewhere expensive knowing I'm dead broke yeah you're gonna be the one who's paying cus how the fuck you expect me to afford that shit when you KNOW I cant
@butternutsquash6984
9 ай бұрын
This is why it is good to build friendships around interests that are not dependent on expenditures. I would love to do costplay but spending $150 to make a costume when I rarely spend that much on all my clothes in a year seems ridiculous. Bring back potlucks and crafternoons.
@cmg25
9 ай бұрын
Disregard if people can’t cook or are hellbent on believing they are not creative. 😂
@trilobite-knight7746
8 ай бұрын
@@cmg25both of those things are improved only by practice, so even better!
@pinkpugginz
8 ай бұрын
150$ in an entire year on clothes? mine wear out so fast are yours made of titanium
@Disthron
8 ай бұрын
You know, print and play board games exist. Could combine it with a crafternoon!
@trilobite-knight7746
8 ай бұрын
@@pinkpugginz ??? Are you buying fast fashion? That definitely wears out fast, but typical clothing should last at the least a few years? Are you talking just basics like underwear & socks wearing out or like, you always have to replace everything?
@LoisoPondohva
8 ай бұрын
At 16 I became briefly homeless for a family reason. Nowadays I make BY FAR the most from my friend group. You can be sure all the friends that took care of me when i had nothing are taken care of.
@icegoddess1308
7 ай бұрын
That’s how you know who your real friends are
@lamonochromatique
9 ай бұрын
You can also take charge and advise them "hey I don't really have a lot of spare money right now/that is out of my budget.. Do you want to do this instead?" I am very open with my friends about the fact I have debt I am trying to manage and love hanging out with them. They have never ever made me feel pressured to attend things that would be expensive for me. They have never made me feel like I shouldn't be friends with them because they have more free flow cash to do things. I have never felt shamed. Good friends will never make you feel like you need to earn more to be able to continue friendships.
@e.458
8 ай бұрын
That's great, because sometimes people just forget and actually don't mean to be rude. Their reaction will show what type of friends they are. When I was in a friend group with people who were much more well off than me (they were older and in a different stage of their lives than me), they always had my back, but sometimes they forgot and then I gave them option a) do it without me, b) go somewhere / do something else together, or c) they help out financially. It was actually hard to break that habit of them helping out, once I had caught up with them financially.
@melissabloemen
8 ай бұрын
Yes, this feels like a way better solution! There is so many things you can do that don't cost anything or barely anything, just be open with your friends. If they aren't willing to meet you where you are they aren't good friends. I also don't like that she almost makes it sound like people have some claim to their friend's money? Like even if one friend has a higher income or wealth that doesn't mean they are obligated to always foot the bill, like unless they are insanely wealthy they also have their own budgets and things they are saving for.
@lamonochromatique
7 ай бұрын
@@melissabloemen I didn't like that either, I would never expect someone to pay my way to go out and do something. The only time that happens is if I go out on my birthday my friends typically pay for whoever's birthday it is (again not expected though, you don't know what people's finances are like from one time to another) and if my older sister invites me out I will pay what I can feasibly afford but she will buy me additional drinks because her income is over 4x what mine is so she is happy to. I'd feel weird if my friends paid for me to go out.
@ts1331ts
7 ай бұрын
Your friends should already be aware of your financial status. It’s fairly obvious too, tbh. You shouldn’t have to consistently be like “erm uh idk if I can do that rn” That’s part of listening and being proactive in relationships
@laurenceapitz1678
9 ай бұрын
I totally confirm what you were saying Chelsea. I am a lawyer, and I used to have a good stream of income. I would always pick up the bill at a restaurant when I was with a friend, especially considering it would be a write off for me. Today, I am in a difficult financial situation due to heath issues, and, unfortunately, I find that’s not everybody’s style, so there are people I have stopped seeing😊.
@copiouscat
9 ай бұрын
Damn if I was your friend I’d be cooking for you, or buying groceries you need, helping out in other way I can cause best believe you did not have to pick up the tab as a friend but you did and that in itself was something selfless of you to do that’s indicative of your character 🫂 & when someone becomes underemployed due to health reasons. Nutrition from a simple meal can be everything in these high ass economic conditions. Wishing healing and better for ya! 🙆🏽♀️
@laurenceapitz1678
9 ай бұрын
@@copiouscat wow thank you, that’s really sweet to read
@potatopotatoeOG
8 ай бұрын
Hugs, you’re the kind of person I’d be fighting with to pay for 😂 keep your head up. I just know your kindness will comeback to you
@dreamchaser5758
8 ай бұрын
Once your health is restored and it will be, put extra money in your emergency fund. Most people don't believe in reciprocity
@helena3631
8 ай бұрын
This they were using u
@tamaravsthevoid
9 ай бұрын
I’ve been the well off friend, I had a ‘meals and entertainment’ card I’d use to pay for everything when we went out. I’d put $100 a pay on the card and when I caught up with my friends I’d say ‘we’re going out on the entertainment card!’ The card wasn’t thought of as ‘mine’ but I never had to pay for an Uber 😅 I’m now not so well off and I have friends who are and the entertainment card lives on 🥰
@opticalraven1935
7 ай бұрын
Awww, I'm glad they are still with you and help.
@naomiwhy2191
8 ай бұрын
A lot of people tend to be oblivious as to what it really means to be unable to afford something. Ive had a friendship go sour because my friend kept insisting to lend me money for activities after i said i couldnt afford it and it put me into a spiral of going into debt to pay off my debt to them. If youve already talked about not being able to do or buy certain things and they still try to get you to do them, they're probably not really your friends and likely just want company in doing what THEY enjoy
@shaolinqueen3684
8 ай бұрын
At the end of the day, you should have never accepted her offer. You are not obligated to have someone insist they pay your way. No is a complete sentence, so is the block button if they kept "insisting"
@limepiper3650
8 ай бұрын
Talk to your friends and be open. When I was in a serious economic hardship I was upfront with my friends and we changed activities. No more dinning out or expensive outings. We changed it to home visits, walks, going to the beach and sometimes our favorite pastry shop. Be open about your situation they understand.
@limepiper3650
8 ай бұрын
@trapd00rspider oh I am sorry, those are not good listeners. I also gave my friends a very detailed explanation of the situation, I know that is not everyone's way but I have to say it worked for me.
@tondisanders6332
8 ай бұрын
yeah and sometimes you do this and you tell your friends multiple times about how youre broke and they still invite you out to expensive things and just expect you to still pay for everything. so sometimes no, they don't understand because theyve never had to face that kind of hardship
@brocksampson2590
8 ай бұрын
Yeah this is how i found out which of my friebds were quality friends. I realized onenfriend would suggest things very much out of my price range every time and id have to soeak up every time. I gave up and just started replying "yall have fun, she knows i cant afford that" i dont talk to her anymore. And honestly im a lot happier. Tiny favors.
@little.pixiedoll
9 ай бұрын
I started losing friends ever since I was young. My family had no money, I couldn't invite people over because we couldn't afford to do anything or to feed them. We didn't have TV or video games so I couldn't relate to anyone my age. I was very disconnected from people around me and as a result I have become very isolated even though I'm an adult now.
@Owlet101
9 ай бұрын
Perhaps you could see if there any local meet up groups for a hobby you like? Assuming you want out of the isolation.
@little.pixiedoll
9 ай бұрын
@@Owlet101 Thank you for your concern! I'm not lonely and don't need any social interaction but it's interesting how the upbringing, and financial situation as a child really shapes how you will be as an adult.
@cmg25
9 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing. We don’t talk about how participation in consumerism affects child development enough. I used to be jealous that my cousins got to shop for new clothes every year while I wore a uniform to school. Now I am glad I don’t have the urge to constantly shop, let alone impress anyone.
@katiemercury
8 ай бұрын
This interaction went so nicely and politely it makes me happy
@little.pixiedoll
8 ай бұрын
@@katiemercury I agree! I always love finding genuine people on the Internet that want to interact instead of argue! ☺️
@melissab6396
8 ай бұрын
This happened to me on a bachelorette party for a family wedding. I wouldn’t have agreed to be a bridesmaid if I knew the bachelorette party itself would’ve cost me almost 3k. I worked at a daycare at the time making $15 an hour. I was so stressed about money during that time and my family accused me of being ungrateful. Never let anyone, including family, to pressure you into spending beyond your means.
@nriamond8010
7 ай бұрын
This is so crazy for me. Here in Germany, no one has to buy a certain dress or anything for a wedding, wedding/baby showers don't exist and bachelor/ette parties are a night out (my husband payed about 80 € for one and I considered that SUPER expensive), not a flight vacation. The only expenses you have are a gift (money, as much as you want to spend) and if necessary, a night in a hotel if you live too far away, but that's optional and I hear quite often that people spend the night at a friend after a wedding.
@Weavemoss
9 ай бұрын
Being disabled with a small income and renting vs friends that lived at home with their partners made it hard to ever be able to afford to go out with them like they were constantly wanting to. Was even accused of being a bad friend because I couldn't afford their company. They refused to just hang out together at my place whenever I offered since I could never afford the trips they went on. I even went into debt to try and keep up with their spending because they made me feel guilty all the time... 😬
@nuninuninu5095
8 ай бұрын
Sounds like a whole new friend group is in order as those may be from your past. I'd get knew acquaintances that have more in common. Chosen friends.
@3fps2
8 ай бұрын
god... i had a pretty similar experience... luckily for me i was convinced to drop them before i started going into debt for them.
@Not_a_number_
8 ай бұрын
They sound horrible! I have friends that don't make as much money as me and friends who make more. If I invite them somewhere expensive, I will get a voucher or something so we can both benefit from a massive discount. But mostly I just suggest we hang out indoors, eat dinner and watch movies or play games. I really hope you find some proper friends who aren't arseholes! ❤
@ananeeva4109
9 ай бұрын
Two situations. I was at a really low point with my fiancés, I literally had to cut a piece of cheese I had in my fridge into several parts to have at least some food for 2 days. Btw, in that moment I realized how little food we actually need 😅 In this period of time one friend of mine just came and said “hey, I have to tickets to an amusement park, wanna come? I feel shitty when I go alone and I’d love to have your company”. I didn’t suspect anything until a couple of years ago when he admitted to tricking me into coming with her as she knew about my troubles and wanted to cheer me up in a way that would not hurt my pride. Situation two. At the same time, another friend of mine called and went for hours about how difficult her life is since her favorite cosmetic store got closed and now she had to go to another city to buy it, because in her city one cannot find a decent cream for 200 euros. When she was finished she said how happy she was to have me as a friend since everybody asked her for money and I never did. Two people at the same period of time. Guess who is my friend up until now?
@sweetascandyxoxo
8 ай бұрын
Wait, so you ditched the friend who had more money to buy a $200 Cream? Isn’t that defeating the entire purpose of not loosing friends because of finances either from a lack or excess. And if she said she likes that you don’t ask her for money, isn’t that a compliment that you were a true friend to her. Imagine being rich and people only care about being your friend to get free dinners or money etc. Basically taking advantage. Either way it’s shitty. I get you felt bad probably like oh, she can afford this cream and how dare she complain. But it’s just a bit hypocritical
@swampelf
8 ай бұрын
@sweetascandyxoxo As far as I can tell, the first commenter did not specify that they ditched the richer friend. It could be that the richer friend ditched them. Even if they did, it may not have been for one simple comment about face cream
@merrivideo
8 ай бұрын
I assumed they both were still your friends.
@NicEeEe843
8 ай бұрын
“I realized how little food we actually need” Yeah to keep breathing then next day but if you keep eating like that consistently it will destroy your body forever lmao
@sheridanvance7426
8 ай бұрын
@@sweetascandyxoxowell it’s never really specified who ditched who. But one could assume that it was probably more than just the complaints about some type of cream. One showed real friendship and actually acknowledged that the other person was struggling, the other did not seem to acknowledge that at all. Showing no awareness to what the friend is going through.
@l.g.2888
8 ай бұрын
I have been the friend who has less money, and my wealthier friend was always happy to plan around that. We went to restaurants I could afford. We planned expensive things well in advance. We did inexpensive or free activities. If she REALLY wanted to do something with me that I couldn't afford, she paid my way or let me pay her back whenever I could (I would offer to pay her back because I was uncomfortable with other people spending money on me, she didn't ask or demand it). Now that I have more money than some of my friends, I do the same.
@redwoodtrail
8 ай бұрын
I lost my beat friend of almost 10 years because lives changed. I had children and lived across the country. She wanted me to be her maid of honor but she was doing an extravagant trip in a whole other state. I couldn’t travel for multiple expensive parties and a wedding so early on I was honest with her and said there’s no way I could do this and it just never was the same and now we don’t even speak.
@briannabrown2672
8 ай бұрын
I, too, have been on both sides. And have felt slotted in away on both sides. I’ve been extremely broke at times with friends who were not. And I felt I was put in situations (trips, restaurants) that they knew i could in no way afford. However, I have also been the friend with money ( working multiple jobs to make the income i wanted) who was put on the spot to pay for someone else because “ oh, you can afford it !”
@MmeSyl
8 ай бұрын
Yes finally someone talking about this! I'm from Switzerland and my parents are living paycheck to payckeck and my friends never understand why I can't go skiing with them. I'M TOO POOR FOR THAT! Also 50% of my classmates ride horses or even owen horses. I wish I could have these hobbies!
@smileyface-hx3gh
8 ай бұрын
Owning a horse is a money pit. I went broke from having one.
@triphophoney
8 ай бұрын
@@smileyface-hx3ghI recently learned the term "horse poor". Had no idea that was even a thing. (Then again, I've never ridden a horse, and at my current weight, I won't be riding one anytime soon.😂)
@bellama920
8 ай бұрын
23 and recently became an engineer. Most of my friends have decent jobs, a few are working minimum wage, Im the only one making a lot. If we go to a pricy restaurant, I pay. But I usually just visit with friends at home. When I host events or parties, I outsource labor ie cooking food, doing dishes, and help setting up on those who would struggle to buy some things, then those who are better off, they can buy smaller things I'm missing. Having a friend over? I pay for everything. A friend having me over? I pay for at least half. A dollar for me is worth less of my labor than a dollar for my friends. I love my friends, and it's absolutely worth it every time.
@khadejiahupp626
8 ай бұрын
I have a friend who was considerate like that. When they were doing well and I was struggling they were considerate of that even paid for a meal or two. Now I’m working a good job and don’t stress about resources and am able to contribute more financially. It really meant so much and still does when I think of their consideration.
@ihavenoname2569
9 ай бұрын
It's almost like people of a certain social class should be aware of the class that they hold and how it affects others including their friends . This really shouldn't be a controversial take
@nala7829
8 ай бұрын
...I suppose technically not, if you live in a country with classes. But given the writing style the person speaking hear is an American.
@aishahsiddeeqa8311
8 ай бұрын
@@nala7829but there is social class in America? The working class and the middle class certainly exist and the new upper class also exist (especially when you basing class primarily off of income rather than something like nobility rank which is effectively irrelevant in many countries).
@rileybaker9224
8 ай бұрын
@@nala7829 do you think everyone in america is equally wealthy? lmao
@gardnerhill9073
8 ай бұрын
Noblesse oblige.
@BlackGirlLovesAnime6
8 ай бұрын
The funny thing is in average they all come from the same low of average class as kids or college students and then once some people find a job that pays well they act like they forgot where they came from
@pandoraaaraseth1040
8 ай бұрын
AGREE fully. I have been different versions of this to different degrees at different times in my life (surprisingly at 41 due to extenuating circumstances, and choosing my mental health over financial security, *after all what is security if I am dead or bat shit crazy* I am the broke friend again these days), and somehow I thought it was just common sense and simple etiquette to bridge the gap if you are the more financially sound person. If you cannot then you simply don't entice said friend, abandon them or expect of them what they cannot feasibly do and vice versa. Nor should they become accustomed to you footing the bill or enabling them to live beyond their personal means and suggest activities beyond their ability to cover OR stop trying to achieve more for themselves (if they do in fact yearn for more and have the ability to advance financially without incurring an additional huge financial burden that is not guaranteed or insured to pan out). Some people are happy and fulfilled to live a more simple or less extravagant life and that does not diminish their value, worth or validity. At some point though, if the gap becomes too extreme it is an unfortunate side effect that the friendship may suffer, not due to the financials alone but due to a difference of scope and personal ambition or values.
@1kpennyxx238
8 ай бұрын
My friend grew up broke w me but changed when she started dating her now husband who comes from money. He was nice and did not change her, she decided to get snobbier to fit in with his relatives that never liked or respected her anyways. It hurt to let her go but she just wasnt a good friend and didnt feel she had to be when she felt better than me
@MB-xv7er
8 ай бұрын
I’m glad she’s not your friend anymore. She deserves someone who won’t be jealous of her and I hope she found a better friend ❤️
@TTX420
8 ай бұрын
My best friend of 30 years ended our friendship because of this. She’s a lawyer, I’m a nanny but always tried to keep up as best I could. I’ve also lost roughly 10 years of my (33 year old) life due to debilitating chronic illness. “We just aren’t at the same place in life.” Duh.
@smsmsm33434
8 ай бұрын
I agree about suggesting affordable places/activities but not so much about covering costs, unless I’m the one suggesting we do something expensive. It’s important to also make sure that you’re not taken advantage of.
@samatavideo
9 ай бұрын
My friends and I do potlucks. We pick out a theme and it ends up being way more affordable and involved than if just one of us were throwing a party on our own.
@jessicabrewer1720
9 ай бұрын
That's crazy. I married a fairly wealthy man and my best friend barely makes ends meet. I just suggest low income activities and occasionally cover her. It's not hard to be considerate.
@LSG101097
8 ай бұрын
Same, but if I want to go somewhere nicer I usually say that I have some kind of coupon or discount, so we would have to pay only half the check and then I covered half of their check. It kind of less damaging for the person's ego, cos some people wouldn't agree with you paying for them.
@sckamby
9 ай бұрын
My best friend comes from an extremely wealthy family and me, even getting help from parents and working myself, never had an opportunity to be excessive with money. Never once I felt that we were in complete opposite financial situations, she is always considerate of what I can afford or feels the gap if needed. I guess it all comes down to the person, not the money
@katiemercury
8 ай бұрын
THIS!! I've had incredibly generous rich friends who I had to actually rein in and remind them that I love them and they absolutely do not have to buy my friendship and I've had rich acquaintances who we'll say.... hmm, misidentified their self-worth with the dollar amount in their bank account and wouldn't miss an opportunity to compete with others over it.
@MB-xv7er
8 ай бұрын
So she’s paying for you all the time? That’s not something she deserves and I hope she finds better
@sckamby
8 ай бұрын
@@MB-xv7er where in the comment you found the point that “she pays for me all the time”? I described completely other situation 🤦🏼♀️
@MB-xv7er
8 ай бұрын
She’s not obligated to fill the gap. I hope she finds better friends on her level
@sckamby
8 ай бұрын
@@MB-xv7er omg, learn to read please
@Sashique86
9 ай бұрын
I think people also need to be honest with their friends if they can't afford it so the friends can find alternatives. Some people are embarrassed to say anything and will go into debt to keep up. If you can't be transparent with each other without judgement then you need new friends.
@trapfethen
8 ай бұрын
Or possibly counseling/ therapy. In our society especially, it is all too common for people's sense of self-worth to at least somewhat stand on their financial worth. Being fearful of speaking up is a real thing people struggle with, regardless of whether or not their friends would give them shit. I do agree with your point in general though as you can't expect people to read your mind or know your situation if you don't say anything. I just want to put a little nuance into "if you can't tell them without judgement".
@y0utuberculosis
8 ай бұрын
Imo weddings should basically be free. I don't want to pay for an ugly dress I'm only wearing once. When I get married is gonna be a quick ceremony and dinner with immediate family and friends and that's it
@Calcanthite
8 ай бұрын
I’m the well-off friend. It’s easy, if I want them to attend an expensive event with me (like a music festival) I just pay for their tickets. They don’t feel bad, because they get the tickets for Christmas or their birthdays. Most of the time we’ll just stay in and do the more budget friendly game or movie nights, which are always a blast. We just like spending time with each other.
@melissabloemen
8 ай бұрын
I think it's fine if you offer or genuinely don't mind, however I don't like the implication in this video that being more well-off means you are obligated to do so.
@Calcanthite
8 ай бұрын
@@melissabloemen no you’re correct
@87RH
9 ай бұрын
I agree to not suggest things others can't afford. However, I have been out to dinner where other people pick the location, picked their dinners, and then somehow expected someone else to pay it for them because it was too expensive for them! Those are s***** people and you should stop hanging with them! They're using you!
@BBee13
9 ай бұрын
I’ve had this experience too, even when I was younger and just working part time jobs while in school. Unemployed friends would just throw things in my shopping cart and expect me to pay for their stuff because “they would do the same if they had money” - I didn’t even “have money” at the time. I just made enough to pay my bills (which was more than those friends because they were living on credit, so they expected me to pay for their stuff). When I told one of my friends I didn’t have money to go to Disneyland for her birthday, she said “yes you do, you can put it on your credit card” . The entitlement to my financial health and security! I’m glad I’m not friends with them anymore
@arrowbliss2515
8 ай бұрын
I once had a friend turn to me and say "I assume you're covering me, otherwise I can't eat" and then proceeded to order a ton of extra drinks and dessert. I was happy to cover them at that time because I picked the place and it wasn't a massively expensive place and I'd picked it for my bday but the audacity in the words "I assume" got me.
@melissabloemen
8 ай бұрын
Yes I agree it is kinda mean to invite someone somewhere if you know they can't afford it, though I think when in doubt it is okay to ask. But also, assuming someone should foot the bill because they have more money is kinda crazy. Like that is their money and other people don't have a claim to that or how they do or do not spend it...
@edoppelle
8 ай бұрын
I've been on the "comfortable" side and I lost friends when they expected me to pay for their stuff. Even friends who literally have a bigger income with me, just don't know how to deal with money ☠️
@daniellelicht5093
8 ай бұрын
This is definitely a missing part of the conversation. The reality is that being friends with people with zero disposable income and bad spending habits is difficult, no matter how much money they/you make. It’s controversial to say out loud but it’s not uncommon. There’s also a lack of creativity. Not all fun/cheap activities need to be done inside and vice versa. Friendships need diversity.
@edoppelle
8 ай бұрын
@@daniellelicht5093 Yeap, totally agree. I've been the one being fine playing games together at home or to chill at the river with stuff we buy at the super market. It's them who wanted to go out to restaurants and do all sorts of stuff in the city. They totally played me lol
@jones2277
8 ай бұрын
i'm starting to deal with this. the worst thing is when they assume you make as much as them (i don't) bc of their limited understanding of your field.
@mh5970
9 ай бұрын
I'm closing in on 40 and my friends and i still do game nights and simple dinners at each other's houses, especially potlucks. Expensive dinners are for my husband and I to treat ourselves. I don't need to know my friends' financials and they don't need to know mine. Basic Midwest middle class sensibility. Culturally, we also feel the need to tell people what a deal we got if we have anything that looks expensive though. Even the appearance of fiscal irresponsibility or showiness is an embarrassment.
@cmg25
9 ай бұрын
Over here in the “unsensible” east we talk about salaries so we know if we’re being bamboozled. 😂
@mh5970
9 ай бұрын
@@cmg25Why is the East "unsensible?" Sensible and sensibility are not the same thing. Sensibility can be defined as responsiveness or sensitivity to something. What I said means that we are, in general, sensitive to income differences and don't want that to affect our relationships or make lower income be the reason someone is left out. I didn't say anything about any other regional culture. What do you mean by being bamboozled? Who is being deceived at a potluck game night?
@cmg25
9 ай бұрын
@@mh5970 Your sentence structure implied that people in the midwest are sensible for not discussing salaries. I was stating that being open about salaries is beneficial because it is easier to spot companies that underpay. Blame grammar. Enjoy your potlucks.
@thewittyusername
8 ай бұрын
Not talking about your income because it's viewed as crass is a manipulative tactic spread by the upper class and corporations so that they can take advantage of middle and lower income workers. Your Midwestern idea of politeness is very self sabotaging 🙃
@katiemercury
8 ай бұрын
Oh my God I just realized I do this too. If I have anything that looks nice it was almost certainly procured at Goodwill or at least deeply on sale. It makes me proud to be thrifty, to have gratitude for simple things by getting the best deals on them and then cherishing them.
@ceceo9480
8 ай бұрын
I was the first person in my friendship group to have a child. I was 27 at the time. 10 years later they are starting to understand and respect me. Empathy is a beautiful thing ❤
@Candies1Creations
8 ай бұрын
My friend group is honest and we communicate our budgets and limits. We do not get mad when we have to change plans based on peoples funds. We also plan in advance so it's affordable. We have also covered each other’s cost because we all had hardships and look out for one another. At the end of the day, we're going to have a good time and make memories.
@ameliaarrows2790
8 ай бұрын
Yeah I’m starting to experience that. At my church we have at least 16 young people. From 15-25 And we often go out have socialize often. We try to make it free or not expensive for people
@LaurenAnne6
8 ай бұрын
I've been the poor friend for almost all of my adult life. I'm so grateful for my friends who pay for me so often when the activity is out of my budget, but they want me there.
@gen1130
9 ай бұрын
i feel like the expectations should be to not put pressure on people with a tighter budget, but it should be on them to suggest things within their budget. Most people dont like to talk about their financial situation especially if they are struggling, so it is hard to guess what is affordable by others. if something is outside of your budget, suggest an alternative
@trapfethen
8 ай бұрын
This is honestly the right take. Just like in romantic relationships, you can't expect your friends to read your mind or know your situation if you don't tell them. I know it sucks to talk about being in a tight spot, or even having to say "that activity that everyone wants to do does sound like fun, but I can't afford that at the moment". It is uncomfortable to say the least. Honestly, we should be teaching people from a young age to talk about money and how to have those conversations without your sense of worth getting caught up in it.
@naomiwhy2191
8 ай бұрын
Definitely true, but I feel like sometimes friendships with big income gaps just can't work. If one person can't afford to feed an extra person at their home when they want a friend over, and the other is used to going out to bars, cinema etc, they'll often get bored or grow resentful that their friend can't reciprocate invitations
@Lilymaglioni
9 ай бұрын
I've had realizations over the years as there were people in college who were never interested in being actual friends with me, despite getting along great in classes and doing study projects together and them acting like friends in those situations ... I was hurt through college at how many people would not be friends with me beyond me helping them in classes and had their little posse, but now I'm so thankful. They all go on crazy trips together and have horrendously lavish weddings where I don't understand how they all afford to do all the traveling and buying all the stuff entailed for the weddings. I'm very anti-debt, so my husband reminds me other people are comfortable with living in debt.
@t.l.5755
9 ай бұрын
I went through this during the Great Recession in 2012. Got to set boundaries and suggest hobbies or activities that are in your budget.
@nas2817
8 ай бұрын
If your friend is genuinely good to you, they will be considerate of your financial situation. I'm always the one wt the lowest income (government worker ftw lol) in my circle of buddies, and they never make me feel less and have always accomodated me or will pick up the tabs or don't mind me paying them back a lil later on my payday. Everyone deserves that kind of kindness in their life.
@5353Jumper
8 ай бұрын
General rules for long term friendships: 1. The person who invites, pays for the majority. (Invited can offer to leave the tip, or bring some snacks, or bring a bottle whatever. But the inviter should assume they are getting it all) 2. If you want to invite someone and have them pay their share, immediately start with talking about the costs. "Hey I was thinking about going to that Rick Astly concert. Tickets are $100 esch do you want to go with me?" 3. As the person with more money, remember that being invited to house parties, hikes, bike rides and street fairs is just as valuable as being invited to a movie or a weekend in Vegas. The other person wants to spend time with you and that is the valuable part.
@Dhtaf
9 ай бұрын
One uncomfortable conversation with your higher income friends about how you’re not able to allocate funds to the expensive dinners/drinks, etc. like you used to, and giving ideas of what you CAN afford (potlucks, game nights, etc.) can prevent a dozen financially uncomfortable nights out that you can’t afford. They will not know unless you tell them, and they may see cheaper as something still out of your budget, so being clear on what things you can afford. And then if they are suggesting the expensive outings, a quick reminder of that’s not how you’re able to spend your money right now will get them to either reconsider the plans, or if they really want to, they can offer to cover you. Although really know if the person covering you is doing it with no strings attached and won’t hold this over your head later.
@yinokyakusama390
9 ай бұрын
I'm from Poland and in our culture it's vary taboo to talk about money, how much people earn and pay for rent, bills, etc.. We have this issue as well and I think mentality around money is the root of this problem.
@pcbassoon3892
8 ай бұрын
Yeah, where I am from in the US, it's actually pretty taboo too. You sometimes can get an idea about your friends' financial situations, but a lot of the time, you don't know.
@stephenmartinez6359
8 ай бұрын
You get invited to weddings? I was always a funeral friend lol
@avi.chan23
8 ай бұрын
Know how it feels to be on both sides as well and I absolutely agree. As I am now the financial stable/privileged person, if one of my friends stuggles financially, it is my duty to 1. compensate it for them and 2. be aware and respectful towards their situation.
@GottaLovePartyin
8 ай бұрын
This is one thing that some people in upper wealth classes seem to either forget, ignore, or completely miss: You will always be a step closer to becoming homeless than becoming part of the wealthiest 0.1% socioeconomic class. It does NOT matter how much money you have, which wealth class you are currently in, or if your wealth is generational - ANYONE can become homeless, at any time, for any variety of reasons. This life is hard and we must support each other to survive it. Your true friends in higher places will support you, by bringing you up to their level too, and not leaving you behind to feel insignificant or small for having less.
@MB-xv7er
8 ай бұрын
Mmm no. It’s not a persons job to pay your way and level you up just because you’re too lazy to do it yourself
@tranger4579
9 ай бұрын
I had many friends that stopped being my friends because I had money and they were broke. Funny thing is the had better and higher paying jobs than I did. Thing is they had a lot debt and a lot of bills and spouses that were money vacuumes. They felt it was wrong I had money due to the minimalist lifestyle lived and they worked too hard.
@xiqikxx8967
9 ай бұрын
My friend didn’t own a car and I would give them a ride to work everyday…..but then it started turning into a constant thing so I asked if they can at least give me $10 a week for gas because my car runs on gas, not on friendship
@triphophoney
8 ай бұрын
I don't have a car, but if a friend offered me rides to work, I'd automatically offer money towards gas. You shouldn't have to ask!
@xiqikxx8967
8 ай бұрын
@@triphophoney before I owned a car, a former coworker of mine would offer me a ride to the city train station ((i would have to take a bus ride from work to get to the train station)) and I would always offer them money for gas but they didn’t want the money, they instead asked for a pack of cigarettes 🚬….im kinda against cancer sticks but if that’s what they wanted instead of the money then fine🤷🏻♀️
@triphophoney
8 ай бұрын
@@xiqikxx8967 Ha, I'm a smoker too. Not that I'm bragging about it. It's a nasty habit that I wouldn't encourage on anyone. Trying to scale it back to where a pack lasts me an entire week, then I'll quit until the next crisis pops up. 😆
@SecretSquirrel-gp7kz
8 ай бұрын
A friend is really about caring for another person, good times & bad times. Coffee at your kitchen table is fine. Having a simple meal (bean soup & baked bread) or playing cards is fine. Having a walk is fine. It's that one on one
@rakisk8r
8 ай бұрын
YES Chelsie! I too have been on both sides (only recently in my 60s the + side). I completely agree, if I can afford to do something (coffee & snack or or?) I’ll automatically sneak up ahead of time to cashier and pay. Or I’ll tell my friend “c’mon you support me in so many ways! Come & have a fun coffee & people watch with me!” Love your channel and the community of your channel! ❤
@TannerChung
8 ай бұрын
Completely agree. For five years I ran my own business and it was rough. I lost a lot of my friends because they kept suggesting things I couldn't afford and didn't try to bridge the gap. They only came to hang when I would host parties where I could control how much I would pay for and wouldn't suggest things that wouldn't cost much. Now I more than tripled my income, some appeared in my life again but at that point I was finding new friends. To this day, I still host the parties and pay for it all so that money isn't an issue to hang out. Yes, even going to a bar is money. Going to the park can be money (picnics). Museums, etc can be money. Sometimes as another commenter said, board games and other things can be s bridge. Or pay for your friend! I try to pay if I can tell it's money coming in between.
@EarthAngelDoll
8 ай бұрын
I had a friend who was so cheap, lived with her mom who was a lawyer and also had a job. I was the only person in my friend group at 18 to have an apartment and be paying for it completely by myself. I invited all my friends over for a dinner, cooked, cleaned, etc. after dinner we had some chips and dip. This one friend brought a bag of chips and that was eaten alongside what I bought. There was probably a quarter of the bag in crumbs left and everyone left I ended up kind of tossing out the leftovers that I wouldn't eat. Two days later she texted me demanding me telling me she forgot her chip bag and ask for it again. She was so cheap. I watched her eat nugget off the floor of a McDonald's once.. I'm so glad she's not in my life anymore
@froggywithaheart
9 ай бұрын
i was in class 9th (freshman for americans) when i made my lifelong frnds. i was 14 and quickly realised the financial difference between us. it's been 9 yrs since then, when im with them. i order the cheapest things, we go to affordable places etc. now in college, when im with my frnds of equal or better financial situation, i order like i truly would. i was FOURTEEN when i learnt to respect my frnds' dignity without it causing any problems and you're telling me...ADULTS are having problem with this!? crazy. it's not hard to go to cheaper, affordable places yk.
@writerwhowrites101
8 ай бұрын
yes yes yes, I’ve also been on both ends of the spectrum and I totally agree it’s up to the wealthier friend(s) to be conscious of that privilege
@racheljames9187
9 ай бұрын
Yes, this! I've been both... not because I'm well off, but because I have friends that are very well off, and friends that have a lower income than me. If I suggest something I know is expensive I offer to cover the cost. It makes things awkward, but I have had to say a flat no to expensive restaurants etc - I have a $30 appetite, not a $70 one, and expensive buffets are something I can't benefit from as someone with tummy issues.
@moxiemaxie3543
8 ай бұрын
I felt less than when my cousin,who grew up in middle+ class burbs,made me, a kid raised in the projects, a bridesmaid. Why did you expect me to be able to drop 1k+?
@bhitttourrent6127
8 ай бұрын
Me toooo! I have been both and the sheer pleasure I got from sharing things and experiences with my friends, knowing they could just enjoy it and not worry... heady joy. I'm worse off these days, so we need to be more circumspect in our indulgences, but that's alright.
@user-ql3el3bq2v
8 ай бұрын
If you can’t say “I can’t afford that right now” and be met with understanding, they are not your friends. If your friends know your budget is tight for whatever reason, they should not be constantly pitching expensive ideas of what to do. If they do, they are not your friends. Your friends should never make you feel shamed or less than for not being able to afford something, and if they do, it’s time to get better friends.
@harleenquinzel5814
8 ай бұрын
I got dumped by a friend because I wasn't interested in spending on experiences all the time. She made less but her friendship love language is through trips, gifts, etc.when I'm more of a saver and my friendship love language is more though time spent. It's not always on the person with more money I think both parties need to find awareness in how others value their friends.
@n0hesitati0n15
8 ай бұрын
This is kinda why I love my high school friends. We met 12/13 years ago and even though our circle did shrink, we’ve maintained a close friendship. We choose to spend time together in affordable ways. We ball together at the court, play badminton, or just have hotpots at each others place, and we always split the bill whenever we go out. I know they are looking out for me because I’m going through a rough patch but they’ve always included me in the activities, and I’m forever grateful for their companionship.
@Zynamite
8 ай бұрын
My friends and I are very transparent about how we feel about things. We're definitely not all in the same income bracket but we usually find a compromise. Usually if the friends with expensive tastes want to go somewhere we can't all afford we usually plan months in advance to save up and we all go or if the rest of us really can't afford it we flat out say we can't afford it and they can go on their own with no hard feelings involved. Most of the time we just budget in advance and if one person is struggling we top up or we just find a place we can all afford.The richer ones don't pressurize those with less and those with less don't hinder those with more from enjoying themselves.So far we've not had any issues. We're quite straightforward with each other and works so well for our friendship.
@muffinconsumer4431
8 ай бұрын
I’ve been bridging this gap, but yesterday, my friends said they weren’t comfortable with me footing the bill so often
@RylieRiddle
8 ай бұрын
Which is good. It's great you can afford to cover them, and extremely nice of you. But you also shouldn't be doing that all the time because you shouldn't be made to pay for grown adults who have their own income. It sounds like you and your friends need to talk and find activities to do together that aren't out of their budget and forcing you to cover them. Again, great of you to cover them but if it's happening so often, maybe find ways to spend less money but still hang out.
@aellalee4767
8 ай бұрын
Yes! Same! I've been on both sides, and I still try to opt for free or super low cost things to do with friends because if something financially changed with a friend, maybe they don't want to tell me. Also, I don't want friends to have to pay to see me. I want it to be a net benefit no matter to hang out no matter whats going on.
@opheriayu
8 ай бұрын
Both ways. Communication. Always take someone aside, or if it's your friend group, be honest. If no one knows because you didn't communicate it, they can't create a solution, or you can't. Once you say something, it's up to the person who is planning the event. Everyone can contribute in some way, or they may be happy to cover the cost. They may even change the event to something less costly. On the other hand, we can also remember that we don't have to go to every single event in our friends' lives. We all will be at different stages of our journey, and we should be okay with that, for us and others. If we can't make it to the wedding, it's okay. A short video call or flowers with a coupon or even a handmade item is more than enough. Even a later coffee ☕️ together to catch up is okay ☺️ Communication and understanding are important. Just that.
@mmerrick03
7 ай бұрын
I've also been on both sides of this and I agree. If you want to maintain your friendships with people with less money than you, you have to meet them where they are. That also means doing some things that don't involve money because they will probably feel uncomfortable with you paying for them all the time. The person we with less money might also need to tell their friend about their financial struggles if they don't already know.
@treetopper91
8 ай бұрын
We need to also not assume that someone with the money should pay for everything. I have been on both sides as well. Frankly, some people take advantage quickly.
@shaolinqueen3684
8 ай бұрын
This
@carlosenriquez2092
8 ай бұрын
It's also important to know when it best to sever the relationship. In my case our friends became so wealthy that it was I believe damaging to them to be associated with me. Also I could see the look of confusion or disdain I don't know which coming from their business associates and new friends and it wasn't pleasant for me either. The final straw came with the gift of a watch worth more than I make in a year. I returned the watch and ended our friendship I couldn't do it anymore.
@SincerelySandcha
8 ай бұрын
I was the friend that if i invited you to go out, just know im paying(even before i did well financially). They said i was showing off. I was the friend that loved nature so lets go take a walk at the park. I was told im pittying them. When i purchased something that i knew my friend would like i would get one for them too. I was told i would use that against them. Huh??? What??? I also had a "friend" violate my privacy to see how much i made. I dropped her. I tried including my friends in my new financial life but they showed me they werent interested. Im good.
@LeesaLilHop
8 ай бұрын
Same!!! Money is never the issue, its the attitude about it! That goes for both sides.
@doraedge1182
8 ай бұрын
I’ve been on both ends and I always take responsibility for myself. If I don’t have I decline.If I feel the lack of connection because of lack of participation I suggest cheap alternatives. Footing the bill is cool but will in turn become an issue if you are always doing that in order to spend time with your friends. We can build relationships without going broke.
@Lady-Bug3
8 ай бұрын
My biggest issue is people who are too prideful to admit they can't 'keep up' financially and will make you seem like the bad guy for being considerate and not asking them to put themselves in that situation when you know they can't handle it, like I'm looking down on them. So to them that bridging the gap is an insult.
@avam5091
7 ай бұрын
A friend of mine recently made a remark to me about how their life, schedule, and finances are more important than mine just because they work and I still receive funds from my family (for context, we’re both undergraduate college students). But what they don’t realize is that yes, I have more spending money than they do, but I’ve lived my entire life with pretty bad anxiety, a horrible family situation, and prioritized school/grades. So it’s all relative y’all. Be nice to each other.
@theundone777
8 ай бұрын
So- consideration, communication, compromise and grace. These should be present in any relationship.
@Aarontlondon
8 ай бұрын
I’ve been in both situations too. I ran myself up into so much debt when I was in college because all of my friends there were rich. I felt like I tried to be them, spent fortune partying at expensive places, eating out at super expensive restaurants, buying designer clothes to fit in etc. I look back and I squirm. Today, I don’t have rich friends, so actually I save my money, am debt free and no longer shallow and frivolous. Growing up is good.
@corpojp6624
8 ай бұрын
be considerate and aware of your friends financial status. Paying more or ensuring that the bills are paid reqpectfully is what the wealthier friend should do. However, its more about the friend and their sensitivity. if they lack this quality then time to let them go or not to do anything socially with them.
@xoxo.pochacco
7 ай бұрын
I'm a teenager, and I remember asking my friend group if we could try and find a place to hang out that wasn't the mall or movies. Most of my friends had jobs and drivers licences and I wasn't allowed to have either. I felt bad constantly asking my parents for money to go out and i didn't like the idea that we only needed to spend money to have fun. Only one girl responded and i said some fun activity ideas but most of them just kept going to the mall, without me. I've realized now that those "friends" didn't value me or my time, and they are extremely materialistic and spoiled with no concept of money. I dodged a bullet.
@reut0094
6 ай бұрын
I had a girls' weekend in Malibu in a VRBO on the ocean, orchestrated entirely my rich friend. My "equal cut" of the expenses for the 3 day weekend was $330 (she wouldn't let us see any of the charges on her accounts). I'm not broke, but there is an elementary school teacher in our group. This is how real friends who are rich operate. ❤
@Nonsense116
8 ай бұрын
My wife and I are doing well for ourselves. We have friends all over the wealth spectrum. Stuff like this is exactly why when we hang out with friends we invite them to our house for dinner and board games. It's so easy to make sure everyone can be included.
@mollygrace3068
8 ай бұрын
Never underestimate the power of No. I’ve been invited to fancy restaurants with friends, and I’ve said “$100 for a plate? Nah, I’m good. But thanks for inviting me!”
@ellenlittle6551
7 ай бұрын
I am a grad student who is working part-time, so I’m definitely the “poor” friend. We combat this a few different ways; the biggest being that I am totally upfront about my finances with my friends. I will let them know that I can’t afford to do X, Y, and Z. The main thing that my friends and I do while we hang out is cook together! I run an international cooking group with my friends, wherein we pick a different country, do some research, and then cook a bunch of foods from that country together at my house. Everyone brings ingredients so I don’t have to buy everything, and we have such a great time! Another thing we like to do together is go on nearby hikes, museums and art galleries (free on Wednesday evenings)! You shouldn’t always need to spend money on fun.
@jenmar9428
8 ай бұрын
I went out with my male friend. What he earns in a month, I earn in a week. So…. I was going to choose the place, but he chose it. I went to a restaurant that I’d never ever go. I just went for the company but not for the food. 😂❤ My wedding was at the Maldives. I didn’t invite anyone because I know family members cannot afford. It was only hubby and I. The legal ceremony was in my country. It was just small (7 people) and cozy. ❤
@mikejackson7881
8 ай бұрын
So in a nut shell, being self aware and a decent person GOT IT!
@artofwar420
8 ай бұрын
If you’re true friends and not just acquaintances, this is understood and done. Because of course you consider and think of your friend as a whole person.
@pattycarljackson
8 ай бұрын
Friends don’t have to bridge the gap financially but absolutely should be aware that not everyone of their friends are financially well off as them.
@KellyDVance
8 ай бұрын
I have a friend that is independently wealthy. He hates traveling alone for pleasure so will often take a friend or 6 with him. (Business he doesn't mind.) But he is fully aware that he has more spending money in a year than some of us have income in a decade. Due tl this he usually foots the bill for travel, accommodations, and some entertainment/meals. He generally figures, and everyone accepts, his guests will be responsible for breakfast and lunch, along with any spending money for souvenirs or things done on your own. He has even refused repayment or cash chipped in for food at his house.
@seffffee1333
8 ай бұрын
My grandfather made it a point to stay friends with poor people, made it a point to pay for business ventures ect if he found it a great idea. It’s good to look after friends if they are legit.
@ruthie_rosario
8 ай бұрын
Me and my friends text single everyday for at least half an hour, sometimes WAY longer, but we never ever hang out anymore. It’s been close to a decade at this point. We’re too busy with home and professional life to actually make the effort to hang out, but I love it this way to be honest. I don’t think I’ll ever see them again, but I’m okay with that. My husband has been my best friend for so long now. At first, they didn’t understand, especially since they were both in subpar relationships. But now that they’re married to great men, they finally see exactly why I stopped going to hangout. My friends don’t know each other exist, so it’s amazing how the outcome was the same, depending on their personal life.
@pattyofurniture
8 ай бұрын
When I was a struggling single mom my childless friends would pay for my kids ans I when we went out. I wasn't very comfortable with my inability to contribute so we started having pot lucks at my place instead of eating out which saved everyone money and allowed me to contribute equally at a price I could afford.
@bobi7152
8 ай бұрын
This goes a lot further than money - you and your friends need to be in a similar stage of your life for the friendship to make sense and have something to connect with.
@pcbassoon3892
8 ай бұрын
I think this is a really selfish view. It's the excuse women use to abandon their friend who don't have kids or who got divorced. You aren't doing the exact same thing as me so you don't deserve my friendship.
@bobi7152
8 ай бұрын
@@pcbassoon3892 It‘s not about doing the exact same thing, but there needs to be something to connect over. If your struggles are completely different, you can’t really help each other, as you haven’t experienced it yourself. Yes, empathy can go a long way, but only up to a point. Even in your example about „abandoning your friend after they give birth“ - if you really want a family, but it hasn’t worked out for you yet, trying to connect with your friend whose life is 100% dedicated to their child (which is normal), is hard. And from the other perspective, if you are a new mother and facing all of the challenges connected to it, your friend who doesn’t have a family can hardly help you, or even relate to you. The friendship kind of stops making sense unless you have something else in common that closes that gap, but even then the friendship will be limited to that topic.
@MissGreenTeaLady
4 ай бұрын
Yep, I'm currently on both sides of this. I make more than my friend who's in college, so if I invited her out to a restaurant, I'd pay for her food. I also have a friend who's a doctor and she makes way more than I do. If we do something that's more fit for her budget, she will happily help cover the cost.
@Venus-gn5oi
8 ай бұрын
That’s when you realize who’s truly your friend.
@Sharpe1502
8 ай бұрын
I’m making more money now than I used to. But I generally like doing free-low cost activities anyway like going on walks and ice skating. It really bothered me when I first started working in my city when my friend at the time constantly wanted to go get drinks or wanted to go eat at places where I couldn’t afford and then was like, “Let’s split the bill 50/50.” Rich people don’t get rich from helping people out, so if you have a rich friend who is not considerate of your situation, they’re not your friend. Real friends just want to hang out and enjoy your company.
@YayaValder
8 ай бұрын
I'm blessed that my friends that are more financially privileged than me don't care that I have less. Be happy for them. And remember, just because they have more money than you doesn't mean they don't have their own problems in their life.
@teigenb829
8 ай бұрын
I agree you shouldn't arrange to have friends attend expensive events they can't afford or pressure people out of their financial limits. But, and this is important, if you are having financial concerns, you need to advocate for yourself. Don't just take it. Speak up and let them know what's up. And, if your friend is telling you they can't afford something, do not take that as a sign they don't want to hang out; take it as a sign that you need to come up less expensive things to do
@toriagiro9519
8 ай бұрын
Yes 👏 I used to be so poor… like nearly homeless poor. And I can tell you, now when I go to a cool place and want to take a friend there, my first thought is “is this too expensive to suggest” and if it is, I try to fall back on “no come on, the one who makes the invitation pays. I can’t invite you out to buy a meal, it’s obviously my treat, it’s my suggestion, you pick up the bill the next time you ask me somewhere.”
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