It’s interesting that even though “that girl” is all about being your best self, it’s super formulaic. Like, they all look the same, do the same things, have similar jobs.
@kateb2643
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, "some girl" would be a better descriptor. The whole vibe is just extremely busy, yet non-descript woman. Baffling aspiration.
@SimplyBeautifull
2 жыл бұрын
They're killing creativity.
@felix_a_fiend
2 жыл бұрын
@@SimplyBeautifull that’s because creative people tend to lack and hate patterns in their lives
@NotHere4ThisShip
2 жыл бұрын
That Girl, fka "Basic B1tch". Omg, so much damn white?! And no hobbies. Zero hobbies. Working out could be a hobby, if you lean into it instead of making a just a part of your day!
@xxxxxxxxx1652
2 жыл бұрын
exactly. and if ur not like "them" ur "slacking off or getting distracted" lol. as if i was born to follow a fucking routine every day of watching chloe ting and drinking iced lattes. this trend made me more depressed than anything lol.
@sophiav2994
2 жыл бұрын
I think that the feminine urge to belong in a concept ( being a "that girl", "vsco girl", "egirl" ) says a lot about how society expect women to be
@joeyjojos5839
2 жыл бұрын
I always found it weird when people made fun of vsco girls. Weren't their defining features like, wearing oversized tee shirts and owning hydroflasks?
@sophiav2994
2 жыл бұрын
@@joeyjojos5839 lmfao yeah, but im not criticizing them tho
@joeyjojos5839
2 жыл бұрын
@@sophiav2994 Oh no not at all! I just remember people making fun of them and I never understood why.
@Paula-zt9ol
2 жыл бұрын
True. Why can’t we all just be our own unique, individual, fabulous women? Why do we have to fit a trendy aesthetic?
@kaypat23
2 жыл бұрын
This message resonates with me. They want women to be put together, casual, edgy and sultry all at the same time.
@bardofthe90s57
2 жыл бұрын
I feel like 'that girl' stuff is bittersweet. Bits of it are great!! Trying to eat healthy, keeping a fairly tidy space, taking time out to exercise, cleaning your face, planning a routine, etc. These are all good things. But EVERY single thing EVERY single day is way too much for most people. And all of the clear glass dishes, specific journals and skin serums, white furniture, aesthetic junk can get lost.
@gemcockrell
2 жыл бұрын
I completely agree with this!
@mpnb2162
2 жыл бұрын
Yeaa it feels like its so much about making it into a performance for other people to prove something about yourself to them
@Laura-gd4ku
2 жыл бұрын
Its like that with every trend. Like mindfullness is great in of itself but when it was absorbed by neoliberalism and "self help" culture it was turned into a commodity that does not have anything to do with the spiritual practice and individualizes all the harrowing effects of living under capitalism to personal responsibility.
@bridget3289
2 жыл бұрын
I tried waking up at five am for a week and i did it, right? But then next week I was so tired and it really didn’t make a difference waking up at 6:30
@gemcockrell
2 жыл бұрын
@@bridget3289 I feel like the waking up early everyday part isn’t necessary. It’s more important to make sure you have had enough sleep
@koirasikin
2 жыл бұрын
It's so weird that everything gets turned into an aesthetic or a trend. Everyone should have some type of daily routine, try to eat more fruits and vegetables whenever possible, workout etc. But not do that for the sake of a trend or aesthetic, just do for one's own well-being.
@kaushy
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly babes
@losermillie
2 жыл бұрын
My issue with this is I don’t care about myself enough to do that. But if I give myself a goal of being that girl for a week I’m more likely to do it. Hopefully one day I’ll be at a point where I will do things for myself alone but for now I’m just not there
@tadiwa9297
2 жыл бұрын
For real
@justrachel4496
2 жыл бұрын
I think aesthetics can be a tool to help find the motivation to do something. Just imagine how much work the average person who celebrates Christmas puts into it every year, for example. Doing even one of the things one does for Christmas probably feels like too much effort at any other time, but it becomes doable over the holidays because it's part of the package deal of Christmas. "That girl" or "cottagecore" or "goth" can be used the same way to help reach goals.
@harrypike5140
2 жыл бұрын
Most of it is just because of social media imo. if social media didn't exist then people wouldn't feel the need to constantly document their lives for likes and views and validation. People would just exist and do positive habits like they always have done.
@littletinyegg
2 жыл бұрын
“That girl” is 100000% gen Z girl boss omg. I’m 28 and my version of that girl was like 2013 Australian vegans. I wonder if there’s something about early early 20s women trying to figure out how to be an adult, but trying to deviate from what their parents or other adults around them are doing
@allieconzola
2 жыл бұрын
Ooh, good point!!
@Beeoog
2 жыл бұрын
And yeah, 2000’s had all the girls who wanted to be like Carrie Bradshaw.
@j1430
2 жыл бұрын
freelee the banana girl you mean? lol she was like the face of it also i feel like most of the women aren’t gen z or at least the posters. like maybe 24+ idk
@vellamour
2 жыл бұрын
Ooo I remember being obsessed with the 2013 Aussie vegans.
@s_fashionlover
2 жыл бұрын
Nahhh a lot of the “that girl” are women in their 20’s to early 30s. It’s hard to be a “that girl” but especially in college. The college morning routine screams KZitemr to me. That girl is someone who os new to the workforce or has already been there for a a few years and is trying to (or continuing to be) independent for the most part.
@JB-nk1gn
2 жыл бұрын
My partner's sister is a 'that girl' and when we all lived together she would be so controlling over the time anyone else could use the bathroom or kitchen because she was obsessed with her routine. Spending hours in the bathroom doing skin care, hair care, not letting anyone in to use the toilet. She constantly threw out whole closets of clothes to keep up with clothing trends and new gym wear, was very wasteful and hypocritical. She scoffed at anyone else's needs, or style if it didn't her aesthetic, like us just existing was a hugggeee inconvenience to her. It was so stressful and her judgement/harshness when it came to appearance and diet made me really anxious about cooking/eating/being around her. She totally walked around with the 'Be Kind' tote bags, but at home was horrible/nasty to everyone including her own mum. It is ironic because as a 'that girl' you're 'supposed' to be independent and take responsibility, but she blamed everyone else but herself when she didn't get her way. She looks exactly like every other 'that girl' (slicked middle parting, low bun, gym wear, puffer jacket, scrunchies, airpods, white clothes) so now whenever I'm walking about, and there's 'that girl' s walking around my chest beats so fast with anxiety. I'd do anything to NOT be 'that girl', because I'd rather be a person thats genuinely kind& supportive, rather than for a superficial lifestyle oriented around products and image.
@DrawciaGleam02
2 жыл бұрын
Hmm.I wonder what would happen if multiple girls in the same household were trying to be "that girl"? I don't think that's mentioned often....
@Beenutbutter99
2 жыл бұрын
@@DrawciaGleam02 I'm sure it's only a matter of time before there's a reality show about a bunch of 20 somethings who wanna be "that girl" living together and having a borderline turf war
@iloveazaeliabanks
2 жыл бұрын
my sister is kind of like this she is one of those people who ppst stuff on their stories that are like ‘be yourself’ or ‘treat people with kindness’ but would be horrible in person and constantly critisize everyone else, but would act all quiet and respectful in public and at school
@benzieher
2 жыл бұрын
oh my god…
@traceydavidson6908
2 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry you had to go through that sending lots of love and hoping you recover from such an awful experience ❤
@Izuuun
2 жыл бұрын
My "that girl" period peaked more so in 2020 when up until last year I idolized that spiritual, yoga, clean eating vibe. Then my mental health spiraled due to the pandemic and now I'm at a point where yes I'm eating healthy and working out but that content honestly just makes me feel bad for not doing very specific things that don't necessarily serve me. It's ok to be sad and chill out all day, I don't have to romanticize being basically a new age spiritual housewife girlboss because that's not me at all
@asophfable
2 жыл бұрын
brb making that terminology into a doormat . that is too good
@s_fashionlover
2 жыл бұрын
Yoga isn’t new age. Influencers might push it as such but yoga in itself is a form of worship to God in Hinduism. The “exercise” aspect we know in the western world is merely the asanas (poses) side of yoga. Yoga itself can be many things (Karma yoga, Bhakti yoga etc.). Anyways, even with the exercise side, there is nothing “new” about it and I wish people would be careful in how they word this.
@th-ck9vl
2 жыл бұрын
Housewife girlboss?
@th-ck9vl
2 жыл бұрын
@S_ when westerners say new age, we mean it's the new age for US. we know it's ancient, we know where it comes from, but it newly came to the west not that long ago and slowly started to replace the old Christian worldview. New age just means new to us here. It's a new age of spirituality for us, replacing the old age.
@sydneygraham1470
2 жыл бұрын
"New age spiritual housewife girlboss" you have defined the modern standard for women😭😫
@esikazemese
2 жыл бұрын
It's not just about how productive you are, it is ALWAYS COMBINED WITH HOW BEAUTIFUL you are... "look at my flat tummy in my leggings after workout while I make my smoothie". Yes thank you , I couldn't think of anything to make me feel bad about myself today.
@Insomnia19101
Жыл бұрын
Yes or “look at how aethletic i am and look at my abs and how I’m being productive 24/7”
@norah4731
Жыл бұрын
yes some of the clips with it girls talking about balance in life and treat yourself when you want to, they're excluding the fact that you can only treat yourself in a specific way and that way is you have to stay skinny. No bloating either because its not "healthy" even though a soft or rounded stomach is way more natural than seeing abs and ribs
@yarenxo670
2 жыл бұрын
‘Being that girl is yet again another wellness girl boss trend which is directed at women to buy stuff and work’ summed it up perfectly.
@sarroumarbeu6810
2 жыл бұрын
Yup... The day consumerism isn't at the center of our entertainment and goals is pretty far
@brennam954
2 жыл бұрын
Yup, and it reinforces unrealistic body standards (because only small women will get that praise) as well as racialized beauty standards. Nothing new.
@Beeoog
2 жыл бұрын
The commodification of wellness is so fucking sad. Like we're all trying to feel better, be better. People and companies using insecurities and that need to live a better quality of life in order to sell us shit and market a "brand" is so damn depressing.
@sarroumarbeu6810
2 жыл бұрын
@@Beeoog totally agree 😞
@melw9147
2 жыл бұрын
Late stage capitalism
@fridakahlo4225
2 жыл бұрын
That girl's morning routine looks like the American Psycho's opening scene.
@malouj7932
9 ай бұрын
The og influencer
@thepandoricaoffandomsbacku7349
2 жыл бұрын
No amount of popularity will ever make me want to switch night showers with morning showers
@shannonceleste5557
2 жыл бұрын
Same. I don’t mind a morning shower but I grew up on night showers. Get clean and change into comfies, and the bed is fresh as well once you’ve slept. If you don’t shower before bed- you’ve got all the day on you still!
@shamidkpzd
2 жыл бұрын
I wasn’t allowed to not take morning showers growing up. My mom always said, “you don’t get into bed dirty.” I didn’t know until much later in life that not everyone (who was able of course) bathed at night. I was like “what do you mean you worked all day and just got into bed?” 😨 🤣
@roxycocksey
2 жыл бұрын
Hahah same! Morning showers are literally a form of torture for me 😰😂
@GirlDo3
2 жыл бұрын
I only used to take morning showers in high school when I was running late so I needed to take 3min showers to wake me up to sprint to the bus stop lol
@ILikeTheIvy
2 жыл бұрын
Dunno why but morning showers are boring to me compared to having one later on before going to bed
@emptysoul8462
2 жыл бұрын
To be honest, “that girl” is like a very specific Pinterest board. It’s not most people’s reality, rather a collection of inspirational imagery, quotes, goals, etc. Being one’s best self doesn’t have to mean becoming “that girl”, but for some it’s the closest to what their goals might look like.
@mariadeiana5703
2 жыл бұрын
People overestimate how complicate fitness and being healthy is. People do not need to watch out for carb intakes and sodium levels unless they're bodybuilders
@elenajimenez
2 жыл бұрын
The first 5 minutes in the video describing “that girl” summarizes what I’ve being doing for 2 years to reduce my ADHD and anxiety symptoms. Haha. Waking up early and exercise, reduce sugar intake to ease mood swings, yoga and meditation and journaling are also really good to help with mood swings, impulsivity, intrusive thoughts and the like. The way I did it was implementing 1 thing at a time: for a month I would just wake half and hour earlier, exercise 15 minutes and shower then go to work. A month later, once the exercise routine became easy to do, I cut out the morning Oreos (😂) replaced it with 1 avocado and a coffee with sugar. Did that for a month, then cut out the sugar in the coffee, that helped A LOT! It’s a very slow method but it works wonders if you are struggling with will power and low self image. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure going from 0 to 100 immediately. Very interesting that is or was a trend. Love your videos! You’re great ❤️
@lakshitasomani8671
2 жыл бұрын
AS A FELLOW ADHDER IM LITERALLY TRYING TO DO THAT THANKYOUUUU 🛐🛐🛐
@sepiajoy2871
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for posting this! I'm trying to make some lifestyle changes since my diet is shit and all; this is a good method. Take care :-))
@elenajimenez
2 жыл бұрын
@@lakshitasomani8671 aw! You’re welcome! It’s so hard, you’re doing your best and that’s what counts. Treat yourself with love ❤️.
@lakshitasomani8671
2 жыл бұрын
@@elenajimenez aah you're so sweet 💗
@troebeliewoep
2 жыл бұрын
I do similar things to help my mental health issues (anxiety, depression, c-ptsd, autism) too!
@therobotdevil2284
2 жыл бұрын
I practice a lot of the "that girl" rituals in my daily routine because having structure and eating certain things/getting regular activity helps me cope with my anxiety, depression, and ADHD. HOWEVER, the key to keeping it from getting toxic is not forcing myself to "check all the boxes" every single day if I really am not feeling it (balance is healthy), not striving for constant adherence to a certain aesthetic, and trying to never guilt myself for not doing this or that. Whatever works for you.
@lila-hk1pk
Жыл бұрын
I have adhd and anxiety as well, and I did kind of live the that girl lifestyle for a brief period of time. I found it really helpful for my anxiety and my happiness. I really liked the emphasis on enjoying the small things ‘romanticising your life’, but I think it isn’t sustainable in the long term if you have a mental illness or adhd. It took too much impulse control and discipline for me to be able to keep it up for more than a couple of months.
@ekdukes
Жыл бұрын
SAME, yes to all of this ^ Practicing the rituals because it helps me cope with my mental health issues, and any time I don’t stick to the routines, I see a serious decline in my mental health.
@amber.11.11
2 жыл бұрын
The thing with all these trends (That Girl, Clean girl makeup etc) is that they rely on capitalism and materialism to reflect the aesthetic of the trend. Obviously, they can be harmless, but I don’t like how every trend is so rooted in aesthetics and materialism, that it becomes just that.
@eliseg0001
2 жыл бұрын
Yes! I hate the idea of having to spend tons of money to become the ‘best version of myself’
@Paula-zt9ol
2 жыл бұрын
This is spot on!
@pancakebears
2 жыл бұрын
agreed!!! it’s like any version of the “ideal woman” is inherently rooted in tangible and shallow things. while “that girl” has some good aspects, it all gets washed out with capitalism and materialism :(
@kaimoon3232
2 жыл бұрын
This!!!!!
@sarah8028
2 жыл бұрын
I feel like I can only operate at 30% “That Girl” energy. Like, yeah I make my own Greek yoghurt from scratch and I grow my own vegetables, but I also haven’t been to the gym in a year, we’re in year two of the pandemic and I still wear ugly pyjamas whenever I don’t have to be on camera, and my desk posture is basically gollum level at this point.
@merrymermaid
2 жыл бұрын
we’re in year 3 of the pandemic now 😭
@sarah8028
2 жыл бұрын
@@merrymermaid Oh lord, don't remind me LOL
@emmiebunny04
2 жыл бұрын
ngl making ur own yoghurt seems so cool
@sarah8028
2 жыл бұрын
@@emmiebunny04 if you have an Instant Pot it’s actually super easy! You basically just have to boil the milk, let it cool to 116F, add a few tablespoons of your last batch of yoghurt, and let it sit on the Instant Pot’s yoghurt setting for 8 hours. Once the eight hours are over, pop it in the fridge overnight to set, and tomorrow morning you’ve got amazing yoghurt! After that I strain it for 24hrs to make Greek yoghurt (or labneh if I strain for 48hrs) but that’s not essential, just a preference thing - and again it’s just idle time where something sits in the fridge and you can ignore it.
@julia0822
2 жыл бұрын
The thing is that, many of these things have been scientifically proven to improve your mental health. Which is why It makes sense that this trend started during the pandemic, when many doctors and psicologist on TV and social media were encouraging things like doing yoga and having consistent routines in order to reduce anxiety and stress caused by the lockdowns. The problem, as you said, comes when you sell It as an aesthetic, more specifically, when you throw wealth into the picture, especially since doing some of those things are not cute and aesthetic, but work. It's no longer about doing yoga and meditating to help reduce anxiety, it's about doing It in your apartment that has lots of space and amazing lighting, while wearing lululemon. It's no longer about cooking more nutricious and cheaper meals for yourself, it's about eating the most expensive fruits and vegetables you can find at the supermarket. It's no longer about having a routine that prevents you from staying in bed all day and feeling worse and worse about yourself, it's about spending every minute of your day working and obsessing over your goals. "That girl" could have actually been a good trend about promoting good habits and bettering yourself and your mental health, but as always, capitalism ruined it.
@YourMajesty143
2 жыл бұрын
Perfectly summarized!
@panache1127
2 жыл бұрын
Agree 100% A lot of this is not bad in itself. I've always done yoga and exercise and try to eat healthy and take care of my skin (skin is your body's largest organ and needs to be cleaned and taken care of properly). Journaling is great for mental health. But when perfection, trying to fit in, or doing for the sake of making money take over...it's not healthy anymore.
@ekdukes
Жыл бұрын
Holy shit this ^ You worded this so well. I‘ll be honest, I subscribe to several that girl trends and have felt motivated to keep my space clean and eat healthy food. That said, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for years. What helped me most was routines. It started when I was 19, watching makeup gurus and following their tutorials; I’d do my makeup every morning, even if I had no where to go, because at the very least, I’d put in a small effort into myself, in attempts to keep a sort of promise to myself. I’m 26 now and have kept up with some of the trends - minimalist athleisure (I have some sensory issues so am very in tune with what feels good versus wearing something because it’s the trend) to keeping up with the gym consistently. But I think since I’ve gotten older, I don’t feel the need to wake up at 5am (because I gratefully don’t work a job where I need to, though I absolutely have before) and I’m no longer on Instagram/tiktok, so I don’t feel this pressing need to post about my life or aesthetic. I think I’ve found a sweet spot with routines protecting me from worse mental health days while not losing myself entirely to the trend. All of that said, I loved your comment
@marcelapessoa7136
2 жыл бұрын
Here in Brazil the term “that girl” translates to “aquela garota” which is popularly associated to a bad connotation, that girl in Brazil is a slang for pick me or nlog, since this trend has gotten popular some Brazilian girls are using the term and some times get mocked with sarcastic comments like “✨aquela garota✨”, btw great video!
@kaitlin3287
2 жыл бұрын
This is so interesting, thank you for sharing!
@michellevieiracordeiro
2 жыл бұрын
Eu nem tinha pensado nisso, mas é mesmo a gente precisa de um termo diferente kkkkk
@marinetter.8423
2 жыл бұрын
What do you guys dislike about it?
@anajulianascimento7832
Жыл бұрын
@@marinetter.8423 how is tottaly disconected from the reality of the majority of people here, since a lot of us are struggling to survive a financial and political crises since forever! So having people wake up at 4 am to get a bus for 2/3 hours to get to their jobs and work the whole day and be at home at night only having time to kiss their kids and prepare for tomorow while some girl is promoting a 10 steps skin care routine is just... almost satirical 😂 *sorry about my english, i'm learning by myself
@wndrlnd6809
2 жыл бұрын
I know some may disagree, but I think that hustle culture (specifically, male hustle culture) is the male version of the 'that girl' lifestyle. They share some similarities routine-wise.
@joeyjojos5839
2 жыл бұрын
Facts though. Except i feel like the men's version lacks the self care aspects aside from "go to the gym" which I feel like is more about being a big strong man anyway, instead of like, actually feeling better because of exercise.
@lyda6243
2 жыл бұрын
I was about to comment it it’s similar but more about « how to be an alpha male with a big d » than having healthy habits.And apparently as women we need to be perfect mentally and physically,who cares if you’re mentally ill but a strong alpha man ?
@pearlcnrd
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, that girl is that trend but pretty
@Isabella-vn3wg
2 жыл бұрын
100%. It's similar to the trend from years ago when motivation influencers like Gary V were popular and everyone was posting "rise and grind" quotes.
@wndrlnd6809
2 жыл бұрын
@@Isabella-vn3wg Yes. This is exactly what I was thinking of. In the end, it's all for social media and parasocial validation.
@evmrc820
2 жыл бұрын
I completely agree, when I was in a depression last year I found 'that girl' tiktoks and found it really motivating- until I tried it myself. It only made my self-loathing worse because I felt like a failure because I struggled to be really productive and it just made me feel awful about myself. I felt like it was a simple task (they make it look easy) and I couldn't even do that. It's not all bad tho, as it made me feel so bad that I sought out a counsellor for the first time and got myself help. Something he told me was that you can't hold yourself to the standard that you see online, the average person is not hyperproductive- and you don't have to be either to be a valuable person.
@ItsOKtobeNormal
Жыл бұрын
Even the people online are not as productive as they appear, you really think these people are doing this stuff every day? Of course not, it's all a show. They're all phonies.
@sazimoganedi6988
Жыл бұрын
Had the same
@stormyjackson
2 жыл бұрын
I feel like “that girl” morphed into the “clean girl”
@amber.11.11
2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, and the clean girl aesthetic also relies on clear skin and being conventionally attractive which is no surprise :/
@odin4306
2 жыл бұрын
@@amber.11.11 And able bodied, sadly.
@ifeellikeastar9052
2 жыл бұрын
In my mind they’re the same thing lmao
@ilyulia_
10 ай бұрын
ngl being that girl seems rlly nice as long as it doesn't become obsessive. it can be a really great thing as long as you take time to actually live life, to TRULY become your very best version
@msc2608
2 жыл бұрын
why does the "lifestyle" aspect of a that girl sounds just like influencer girlboss when it just emerged around 2013
@ibrahimkamityoutube
2 жыл бұрын
"in my investigative journalist era" 😭😭
@modge472
2 жыл бұрын
You know even though you seem to be blaming yourself for “failing” the that girl routine, that was my exact experience too. I was basically that girl for three months. What I realized is that on top of all the negatives, this routine is not for people that struggle with mental health and illnesses that disrupts your ability to keep up a habit (I have adhd and depression), or just anyone that isn’t having a great time with life. It’s not sustainable and achievable for most people. I agree some of those habits can make your life a little better but the culture makes you burn out so fast from just waking up and eating breakfast.
@sioparr
2 жыл бұрын
I feel the exact same in regards to loving a routine but hating a time limit, even self imposed. The second I get slightly off schedule I feel like a failure and give up altogether or I may not even be off schedule but tell that to my anxiety that’s counting down every minute
@bunnyteeth365
2 жыл бұрын
Same with me. I've never been able to sleep well in my life, so I've never been able to stick to a regular routine with time limits.
@kinseydesignsbrands
2 жыл бұрын
This exactly!! I struggled for *years* building a scheduled routine and every single day I’d feel like a failure because I wasn’t “doing it right.” This year, it changed though. I stopped giving a shit about the timing of it, stopped controlling when I’d do things and just purely focused on what I really desired to do that felt good and it changed my entire routine. I’m not micromanaging myself anymore, I can just relax, and I’m finding that my routine is pretty regular, but not exact and that’s alright!
@onepunch2310
2 жыл бұрын
Omg same I thought I was the only one! The same goes for diets for me as someone who’s grown up fat and always bullied I ate my emotions a lot and self harmed. When I’d go on a diet I’d be really strict on myself and I’d be miserable. The moment I ate something outside of the diet or didn’t stay below a certain amount of carbs or calories I’d shit on my self so hard and just binge and restrict. I’m starting to learn how to control my emotional eating and stop having so much anxiety around food. It’s going to take a life time to break through the trauma but im trying and that’s better than thinking about offing myself for some minor thing I did that day that no one remembers.
@riyanah7238
2 жыл бұрын
@@onepunch2310 we are literally the same
@kinseydesignsbrands
2 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to add here, that I'm reading a book called "Pleasure Zone" by Stella Resnick for a Pleasure Bootcamp I'm in, and I was reminded of this video and comment thread! She writes about the "punishment ethos" and "overcontrolling" culture that has lead to us denying ourselves and resisting pleasurable experiences and binging things that do give us pleasure and a way to "let go." We restrict ourselves because that's what we believe self-discipline is, a denial of pleasure for long-term success and gratification. But reframed, pleasure is actually a discipline, as well as learning to let go of control, which paradoxically, allows us to actually have greater control, the ability to moderate ourselves and feel gratified. We have been conditioned on pain, not pleasure, therefore, most of us actually have pleasure-resistance and anxiety, which has lead to this internal struggle and battle that I see so many of us, including myself, having to endure in life. The discipline I believe we need, is the discipline to let go and prioritize what's pleasurable to us. THIS will improve our wellbeing and we won't be comparing ourselves so much to people who have the "perfect" aesthetic, because we'll actually be experiencing what we're looking for by watching "that girl" content. I hope that makes sense and that it helps someone!
@TheMakeupChair
2 жыл бұрын
What I love about her videos is that...hmm how do I explain this...okay so you know when you look at a magic eye picture, those pictures with like two faces in one image and you know that’s something off about it but you can only see one of the faces and you just can’t figure it out...well it’s like Jordan points out the other face, and then you can see both faces in the image...does that make sense? Well basic I’m just saying I love her videos. Also kind of realised that I’m on of these ‘girls’ but I do it without realising and I don’t really post about it doesn’t seem that special just suits me and I don’t follow anyone who is one purposefully, just with my chronic illness my routine helps keep bad flare ups at bay kind of but I get the same stuff done when I wake up at 6am as someone who wakes up at 11am. My clock is just turned, I wish people didn’t connect the time you wake up at to how productive you are. If you sleep for 8 hours - You still have the same amount of hours in the day no matter what time you wake up. I used to work till 6am and sleep for 8 hours, same amount of work got done either way. Just be kind to yourself, you’re doing your best ❤️
@watchcloudspassmeby
2 жыл бұрын
Love the way you described this!
@roxycocksey
2 жыл бұрын
Omg THANK 👏 YOU👏 for pointing out that it doesn’t matter what time you wake up you still have the same amount of hours in a day. I’m a night owl so I stay up late and sleep in later than most people, but everyone thinks I sleep for 12 hours even though I don’t- I just sleep at a different time than them and they somehow can’t grasp that concept. I get called lazy all the time even though I get my shit done and sleep the same amount of hours as them, just at a different time. I’m SO SICK of constantly defending myself to people about it. I feel most creative and most myself in the middle of the night when the everyone is asleep and I can finally focus.
@Aster_Risk
2 жыл бұрын
It's interesting that you pointed out having to do this sort of routine is a necessity for your chronic illness and not just something fun you can pick up and put down.
@tessy28
Жыл бұрын
Honestly the idea of waking up at 5am just to start exercising, journalling and cleaning sounds crazy to me. I actually became way more successful when I learned to just chill out in life
@freefridays2471
2 жыл бұрын
What irks me about these trends is that they equate productivity to personal value, forgetting that you are a person worthy outside of work or maintaining capitalistic functions or systems which prevent you from even doing the “therapeutic” parts of these trends
@Shooketh__
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@Caitlyn__is__always_busy
2 жыл бұрын
I feel the mental health thing! We all need to recheck on our selves.
@rhoda3704
2 жыл бұрын
It's so precious how the two lady candles in the background are fitting together like puzzle pieces
@dineliaranelle2162
2 жыл бұрын
Funny that planning Ur Day, shower in the Morning and stand up early is now a trend. 😂 I‘m doing that for years and got weirdly treated for that
@annr3744
2 жыл бұрын
I did a " that girl " life style change. Not the extent of alot of other ppl about a year ago But apart of that was to delete all social media. I loved it, best choice I ever made. I dont regret it. I just think it's about your own expectations, you put on your self.
@antonellasmith1176
2 жыл бұрын
Yes finally someone talking about this! I always thought that this trend is really misleading and overall very concerning!
@apolloem
2 жыл бұрын
Hii :-) just wanted to say that I’m a Bayern fan too lol, did not expect to see another one in this comment section ahsjdjkd (sorry idk why i wrote this but i just thought it was a bit funny ahsh)
@antonellasmith1176
2 жыл бұрын
@@apolloem yeyy wie cool🥳🥰
@DrawciaGleam02
2 жыл бұрын
The Take did a video on "That Girl" trend too. You should check it out!
@zkkitty2436
2 жыл бұрын
Mina Le did a vid on this too!
@goaheadquoteme
2 жыл бұрын
You’re one of those lucky people that looks great in every hair color. the red really suits you
@Ngatiatimothy
2 жыл бұрын
I've genuinely been missing this girl. So happy she has another upload. LFG!
@emmiebunny04
2 жыл бұрын
I am someone who has recently gotten involved with the "that girl" lifestyle, I can safely say that "that girl" is a girl who lives her life to the fullest, wants to better herself mentally and physically and just wants to enjoy life. Since starting the lifestyle, I can confidently say that I feel a lot better about myself, I'm healthier, I feel like I've gotten out of my depression and I'm willing to be around my friends again. but I'm not gonna lie and say it will work for everyone, because that's just a lie. But I do think "that girl" can be anyone. EDIT: lmao I'm depressed again and I haven't been to the gym in weeks. But my meals are still healthier thanthey used to be, so it kind of worked.
@fearless3313
2 жыл бұрын
i haven't the video all the way through yet, but "that girl" just seems like an extension of the 'rich ceo-motivation-glorifying hustle' genre of content/lifestyle but targeted towards a mainly female audience
@katiesullivan9764
2 жыл бұрын
So glad you briefly mentioned the raw veganism trend at the end of this! Seeing the aesthetic & foods of 'That Girl' has been giving me flashbacks to the vegans on KZitem in 2016 claiming that eating a raw vegan diet cures all illnesses & ends all war hahaha
@rivkab3525
2 жыл бұрын
The red hair gives me Ariel vibes, I love it!
@tontanaut
2 жыл бұрын
I agree with everyone who’s criticizing the “that girl” trend. But I think the reason why I’ve always personally been so drawn to it is because the idea of having a routine and taking care of my body every day is a dream to me. I want it so badly but I feel like I always struggle to do these things. I think a lot of the trend is what you make of it, and it can definitely be toxic but it can be healthy in moderation
@claudsg1931
2 жыл бұрын
As someone with ADHD I’ve tried becoming ‘that girl’ minus the aesthetic for years now and just cannot stick to routines. This trend/aesthetic makes me feel so bad about myself and I’m sure I’m not alone. It’s good to hear there are neurotypicals who also find it unrealistic, I thought I was just failing as a human
@xalciaqx9026
Жыл бұрын
I used to be "that girl". In reality i had an eating disorder.
@Anak-ie2pn
2 жыл бұрын
I live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil 🇧🇷, and here we usually consume açaí as an ice cream. It helps to blend the açaí with a sweetener (like honey, guarana syrup, maple syrup), plus a little water, and fresh banana or strawberry. Here we also put paçoca (ground peanuts), granola, chocolate syrup, powdered milk on top... Is it all healthy? No! Ahahaha But it's delicious!
@clarakf
2 жыл бұрын
ahh tava procurando algum brasileiro nos comentarios kk
@nicole-qe7br
2 жыл бұрын
Adorei kkkk
@Anak-ie2pn
2 жыл бұрын
@@clarakf Brasileiros everywhere kk
@Anak-ie2pn
2 жыл бұрын
@@nicole-qe7br Sempre que falam de açaí, eu fico "hold my beer" haha
@Kif_Lee
2 жыл бұрын
OMG, the acaís my brazilian husband eats are instant sugar overdose :D
@solisslay
2 жыл бұрын
“that girl” reminds me of the “la girl” craze from 2015-16
@dayana3617
2 жыл бұрын
I would LITERALLY love love love for you to do a video on male influences/the "it's all about the grind" bros
@solari8886
Жыл бұрын
Society is so fucked up that they made being healthy an unrealistic trend. What is the normal nowadays? Being sedentary, eating fast food, no routine, just spending 10h in social media. They criticize "that girl", but living in the normal way isn't toxic for your body and mental? What people have to understand is that being health should be normalized and everything in social media is so extreme... You don't have to own a 10 step skincare routine, just take care of your skin. You don't have to workout everyday, start with going to the gym 2x per week and then you increase. You don't have to buy all the "fit" foods, but start to eat vegetable and salads... you are an adult. The problem is wanting to turn another person in one day, go slow. Ignore all the shitty rules of this trendy, just do the basic: eat heatlhy, drink water, exercise your body and brain, sleep 7/8h and have leisure/rest time. Get out of that irrealistic enviroment that social media created and take control of your life.
@LittleKaori
2 жыл бұрын
I absolutely adore how you manage to explain regular silly things like trashtv and this trend so eloquently and deeply. Honestly, whatever topic you talk about, you make it a fascinating listen and i learn so much from you. I was never interested in tiktok trends but I was hooked all video long. I hope your mental health gets better soon. We're all there girl, you do your life in the tempo that is best suited to you right now, and take it one day at a time. We'll support you whatever breaks, tempo or topics you choose!
@KH-zr6pt
2 жыл бұрын
Being That Girl(tm) is something I could handle doing for like, a nice "productive" day off, but it's really not feasible for me as a daily practice. I have to get up at 5 to get to work with only a half hour to get ready, so doing anything else would just deprive me of more sleep lol I work at a doggie daycare so I'm also on my feet for 6 hours straight so afterwards I just want to plop down and relax. I find That Girl videos relaxing to watch and there can be aspects that are fun to occasionally incorporate into my life (like making a rice bowl or smoothies lol), but it does sometimes make me feel a little bad that I absolutely couldn't keep up with it. I don't want to assume there aren't neurodivergent "that girls" as having such a structured routine *could* be helpful to some people with mental health issues. but for me personally, it would be very overwhelming when considering everything else I have to do. So I do think you either have to have a LOT of free time or be an organizational wizard to be able to keep up with it 24/7. Of course, when viewing anything through the lense of social media, you're typically only witnessing the idealized version of it, so the women who participate in the trend probably also have days where they get out of bed at 10 and go get taco bell, but they just don't record those bits.
@okestperson6016
2 жыл бұрын
I also find just the type of food that goes with the aesthetic is often inaccessible not just because of the cost but also because it’s such a light breakfast. A smoothie bowl would keep me full for about 2 hours. I don’t have the time when I’m at work to eat that often and when it’s a very busy day I can barely get a few bites of food in. It works for my days off or for breakfast when I don’t have to work until later in the day but not when I gotta be at work at 6 in the morning. I guess some of the foods are more filling like oatmeal but not all of them
@tomdg13
2 жыл бұрын
So sorry to hear you've been poorly. It's always a treat to have a new video from you, they're always so insightful and well-researched and well worth waiting for. Thankyou.
@JadyLester
2 жыл бұрын
Manifesting my own success often means skipping yoga so I have time for breakfast, or skipping breakfast so I have the energy to put on real clothes while I chug a Red Bull. I do love doing nice things for myself, but doing all the things every morning would feel oppressive.
@asophfable
2 жыл бұрын
so happy to see this topic!! mina le touched on this (just a bit) in her recent video on confidence, and i really suggest it after this. have to agree with the holistic approach of taking the good with the bad in this "That Girl" philosophy-- just being self aware with the balance needed throughout your life, and how much versatility we have in our day-to-day. adaptability is needed for most of my peer group w the change in work n covid schedules w the gym n office reopenings, so we could never follow these consistently. i feel like specific routines actually make me feel more anxious/guilty for missing skincare steps, rushing to work n forgetting the gym, or not being able to make my own food if im working on more projects. like it would make me the most American Psycho-version of myself, not the best version of myself, personally. so long as we tailor it to ourselves and our own context i feel like it could be nice, but then that'd mean there would be 7 billion different "That Girl" routines, since we know ourselves best
@miav4605
2 жыл бұрын
so excited to hear your take on this! Your videos are always so eloquent and enjoyable to watch :) I’m personally very anti the “that girl” aesthetic. In many ways it’s toxic and I genuinely believe the way it pushes for perfectionism in all aspects of one’s life, including one’s diet, contributed to my ed that I developed around when the aesthetic first became popular!
@Mintzik
2 жыл бұрын
The 'That Girl' trend has probably been the first time I felt massively inadequate due to social media because suddenly EVERYONE had nice rooms and was posting pretty healthy food snaps and I, working on low wages with depression absolutely destroying my energy levels through the pandemic as an 'essential worker' had neither time nor money for any of this, even though it was allegedly 'super easy if you just try'.
@aaalicia2004
2 жыл бұрын
im brazilian n my heat warms everytime she says "açaí bowls". its soo cute
@sundogsun
2 жыл бұрын
thank you for still showing up even when it’s so hard. :)
@caitlindayman2469
2 жыл бұрын
I like to have a to do list for each day but I have to keep it simple or I get so stressed about it that I don’t get anything done 🤣
@squirrelgod598
2 жыл бұрын
Omg I’m glad someone said it!! Those expanding foam mirrors are hideous and also blasphemous
@em-mg7mf
Жыл бұрын
I began to eat healthy food just because my brain and my body crave it. Never knew everyone made it seem like a trend.
@hannahatela5918
2 жыл бұрын
it's kind of ironic that i always love watching your videos while going through my own "that girl routine" skdfjhg THANK YOU JORDAN HUHU your video essays are always so thought-provoking and interesting to listen to
@janefinance
Жыл бұрын
I love how real this video is. You're a breath of fresh air.
@slaybyjess
Жыл бұрын
I just found out I’m that girl 😂 I don’t think of it as a trend.. working out, trying to eat healthy, having a skincare routine, practicing gratitude by journaling it… I see nothing wrong with any of that. Maybe the influencing part of it -the aesthetic videos where everything is perfect and you have to have the latest trendy products - that’s the part that might be problematic
@thevelveteentreeline
2 жыл бұрын
omg thank you for talking about this, it's a completely different thing than I (and probably most people) thought it was and it's quite concerning tbh
@alexcarr9422
2 жыл бұрын
Yes!! Love the expanding foam mirror hate! They were so vile I have no idea how it was a thing
@oromac
2 жыл бұрын
“8:40 am - wear scary face mask” absolutely killed me
@chickenpower309
2 жыл бұрын
OH MY GOD YOU LOOK AMAZING WITH THIS COLOUR
@NailsByJessicaJ
2 жыл бұрын
I have never been this early for one of your videos, I am so excited to hear you discuss this topic !! Glad you're back and doing better
@boombangtramp
2 жыл бұрын
i really wish people were making more of "that girl" videos but actually adjusting it to themselves, for example, i do have a lot of "that girl" habits to treat my depression and intrusive thoughts (exercising, eating more protein, reading and making lists of things i have to do). it helps me keep myself steady and “concentrated in the moment", instead of falling into a void. but i do not have nice active wear, a nice place to exercise or nice good looking meals, i just do it and hope for the best. i do think the habits of "that girl" can be healthy, but only when you do it at your own pace and for your own wellness, instead of hustle culture.
@IfSapphOnly
2 жыл бұрын
So I’m an artist working at home between jobs and my problem with getting up really early is it actually makes the day feel too long? Like I’m spending most of my energy in the first third of the day and the rest is a slog. Even when I try to “correct” to an earlier schedule I find myself working most productively at night and just sleep depriving myself. I need a lot of flexibility, and even chaos, when I’m my own boss. Being “that girl” would cause extreme burnout.
@Paula-zt9ol
2 жыл бұрын
I’m artistic too, and I totally agree with this! I can’t do any super early or hyper fixated routine. I need to work in the night and I need the chaos 😂😂🙌🏻✨💕
@KitCat898
2 жыл бұрын
I have to be honest, I really like the that girl aesthetic 😫 (not the weird foamy mirror)! It really did push me to start improving my habits. It gave me something to strive for. That being said, I see the negative aspects as well.
@caylanewnan1967
2 жыл бұрын
This video could not have come at a better time. I’m currently working on my capstone video essay project for my university’s honors program, in which I’m focusing on contemporary lifestyle content geared towards young women (specifically “that girl”) and how it reflects our current reality. I’m mainly comparing this content to media in the 2000s and 2010s that emphasized immense wealth and lavish living, such as Gossip Girl and all its copycats. The main difference that I’ve noticed between the two is that these early portrayals of aspirational lives emphasize class markers and separation, where is “that girl” has a clearer sense of class unity (albeit very subtly/poorly handled). The implication of “that girl” content to me has always been “you know, the world is an awful place for all of us right now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t game the system and become the best versions of ourselves.” I think that explains why a lot of people are inspired by this content, and also why it can be harmful and unattainable. At least with the private school girl trope of the 2000s, they were transparent about their lives not being for everyone, but there’s the implication that everyone can be “that girl,” even though that definitely isn’t the case. Thank you so much for giving me some motivation I need for this project, and I hope you’re doing well!
@DrawciaGleam02
2 жыл бұрын
Good luck on the essay!
@himesilva
2 жыл бұрын
"Has showers every day." Seem like a convenient way to make people who struggle with self-care feel even shittier about themselves.
@Leitner_L
2 жыл бұрын
I remember "that girl" existing on ye old tumblr as well. But back then it was a lot of "fitspo" (2010-2014?)
@yerbamatte5
2 жыл бұрын
what’s the name for the opposite of that girl because i haven’t slept in 2 days and i’ve been living off exclusively cheese itz for a week
@czekoladowakorupcja6654
2 жыл бұрын
Love the video in general, but she looks so cuteee without makeup 🥺😭😭💗💗💗 like fr
@10qwertypoiu
2 жыл бұрын
LMAOOO the police sirens 🚨 in the background. How can you THAT girl in these conditions?
@kiterafrey
Жыл бұрын
OMG the manager statement I feel in my bones. I get my work at work done because I have outsider deadlines. When it comes to content creation it is so easy to just slack for me because I have no one to answer to.
@EstelleDallas
2 жыл бұрын
Yess I've wanted to hear your take on this for ages!
@assiafalihp9850
2 жыл бұрын
on the skin care routine. if you have solid night then routine meaning cleanser, hydro serum, cream serum & moisturizer. Or something like that you really don’t have to wash your face in the morning. Of course I clean the crust around my eyes & such but I use rose water, moisturize & I’m done. It’s done wonders for my skin( I have oily skin)
@Aster_Risk
2 жыл бұрын
I'm screenshotting this for reference. I'm 31 and have never had a skin care routine. So any tip I see online is helpful.
@carolinagarcia1118
2 жыл бұрын
Jordan I'm sorry you haven't been doing so well with your mental health. Thank you for working hard trying to keep posting, your videos are amazing and so are you. We all love and support you
@ashes405
2 жыл бұрын
As soon as I saw the pictures associated with "That Girl" I knew it's just repackaged early 2010s Instagram girlboss culture
@ashleymoons
2 жыл бұрын
Being your best self is not a universal routine or process that everyone can follow. There is nothing wrong with following these habits or routines but it shouldn’t be added pressure/ stress. And for most who the fuck has all the time out of the day to complete all of these things. Y’all do what is best and organic for YOU. Life is already ghetto enough. Be gentle on yourself. It’s weird everyone wants to be the same girl.
@klrl93
2 жыл бұрын
Where does work fit in? Where do friends fit in? There are so many careers this lifestyle would not be compatible with. The one that comes to mind, because it is my career, is teaching. Teachers struggle enough to find the work/life balance, I can’t imagine trying to fit in everything else.
@gaiacitron9973
2 жыл бұрын
I hope you’ll get better❤️ I don’t know you personally but you come across as one of the kindest people on here
@margaretetc1524
2 жыл бұрын
"It's almost like 'that girl' is the Gen Z 'girlboss'" *jordan approaches the hornets' nest, bat in hand*
@bearypinkparfait
2 жыл бұрын
*This whole trend gives off hustle culture mentality but rebranded in a more feminine and idealistic way.* Some aspects can feel motivating, such as the idea of working towards your best self. But fails to execute real growth for the individual properly because it heavily relies on constantly being productive, the aesthetics and an oversimplified set routine for all. Of course, both the people watching these videos and the ones creating this content will feel insufficient. Either through comparison and feeling a failure for not having a similar lifestyle. Or feelings of imposter syndrome and guilt when you aren't being consistently "productive". Not to mention issues that can arise such as orthorexia... The strive for being your best self ultimately isn't supposed to be the same for everyone. It can't simply be fixed with only clean eating, set routines and journaling.
@RecaJ333
2 жыл бұрын
Every month there's a new term to label ourselves (or not) with. We fought so hard to be free just to run towards any definition or term that we will "defines" us.It's BEYOND me.
@QueenOfTheComments
2 жыл бұрын
The only That Girl we stan is the 60’s sitcom. 😌
@chlo2902
2 жыл бұрын
Me wanting the “Ultimate Daily Routine” to be my “best self” vs me having OCD and knowing how risky certain types of routines can be for me and how extreme it can get
@evamei9030
2 жыл бұрын
"That girl" trend never fit my disabled homeschool mom lifestyle. I stopped feeling so depressed when I stopped fighting my body. We wake up when we wake up. We school when we're ready. We have to-dos we complete throughout the day when we're able to. Everyone should find what works for them and not try to fit in to someone's else's life. We do own a transportation business with dad doing all the work right now. I'm taking the back seat to work on my mental health. I'm starting trauma therapy soon, so the less stress the better. I will say, I do admire the women who can follow routines and keep their houses spotless. Keep it up if that's you or if you want to give it a go!
@azureart5180
Жыл бұрын
I got really into “that girl” lifestyle last summer, i was trying so hard to live the way these other girls on social media did, buying all these self-care products and trying to keep everything aesthetically pleasing-but eventually i realized it was only making me depressed, because i just wasn’t living up to the expectations i saw on social media.
@ItsOKtobeNormal
Жыл бұрын
Once you realize stuff won't make you happy it's very freeing, a lot of these trends are just thinly veiled attempts at promoting consumerism.
@pearlcnrd
2 жыл бұрын
'That girl' feels like the outrageous wake up at 5 am, workout, shower, read, meditate get to work be productive to make the millions, we all have the same 8 hours it only matters how you use it trend that was geared to men but slap pretty on it. It is really interesting to see people say it is not toxic, we all know majority of the people that follow this trend jumped right into it without pacing themselves and I feel like the minority that made slow changes tries to ignore the fact that majority of people are not going to slowly make these changes to acclimate themselves. It is beyond dismissive for someone to try and act like the former is not happening because they and a few other people are different. I'm all for people making changes to their lifestyle for their health, even if it is following this AESTHETIC, as long as it is a manageable change. The trend truly is an aesthetic first, and a lifestyle second.
@SunnyB_adventures
2 жыл бұрын
I've tried many times to be the kind of person that does all of this, and it is just completely unrealistic for anyone. It's been shown time and time again that real habit change comes from trying to alter small things that you actually want to change slowly over time. Expecting yourself to be a different person overnight is just unrealistic and will probably lead to negative attitudes about yourself because 'everyone else finds it so easy except for you'. Also, side note, 10000% agree about doing pole dancing, it's super hard but also super rewarding, every teacher I've met has been lovely and inclusive of everyone, so if you're thinking about trying it - go try it!
@chloechristinetube
2 жыл бұрын
I started laughing as soon as you started talking about the hydrogel eye patches because I knew exactly what you were talking about as soon as I saw the box - I recently got the same ones and have said the exact same things 😂
@horrorlndalice
2 жыл бұрын
The thing about healthy routines is it's much more doable to build up one at a time than suddenly try them all. Its normal to not be able to flip a switch and suddenly be "that girl"
@milkinamug3357
10 ай бұрын
My husband has imposter syndrome and OCPD. Take care of yourself. It is a beast to fight. Give yourself lots of compassion.
@monicapelkey8709
2 жыл бұрын
as someone who’s struggled with mental health most of their life, i find the lifestyle aspect of this trend to be very helpful. it adds a bit of structure to a day that might be filled with anxiety if not. i don’t pressure myself to stick to a routine if i need to take a few days to just be gentle. we all have different paths that differ from person to person, take what applies to you and leave the rest.
@pephi8102
2 жыл бұрын
Being self-employed scares me shitless. It’s one of the worst forms of labor I could imagine. I’m happy working in a community where everyone owns the “business”, also I work in the agricultural sector so there is a stable income no matter what.
@ozge8262
2 жыл бұрын
"that girl" comes from a highly privileged background and most people can't afford to live so lavishly and spend so much time on stuff like that.
@annafaulkner9879
2 жыл бұрын
I do some of those things (Not journaling or getting up at 6 and stuff) but like making my bed and working out, cooking, iced coffee at home, I just called that self care
@cm-yu6gu
Жыл бұрын
"how am i supposed to that girl in these conditions" 😂
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