Why so many people got this video on their home page after 11 years including me in 2024 ?
@Purpleflowers-r3e
9 ай бұрын
Ikr
@elinaufreisen
8 ай бұрын
I guess we all need it🫥
@virginiabianka9955
8 ай бұрын
real
@kaylajames3098
8 ай бұрын
You got this, too?
@ashd5326
6 ай бұрын
Because skinny is coming back😉
@beccaleigh7744
9 ай бұрын
Reminds me of part of a poem. "There is a lion in my living room. I feed it raw meat so it does not hurt me. It is a strange thing to nourish what could kill you in hopes that it does not kill you." Also, "Feel it. The thing you dont want to feel. Feel it. And be free."
@emelyne2232
4 ай бұрын
Oooooh That. Now that comment helps me Lol. For real tho.
@VK-kc3ob
4 ай бұрын
❤
@grace88855
4 ай бұрын
Beautiful
@adrianavillalta8487
3 ай бұрын
Who wrote the first one?
@oliviawildblood1639
3 ай бұрын
What poem?
@koridevereaux
8 ай бұрын
I watched this about a month or two ago, then I started journaling why I’ve been on the bigger side throughout my teen and adult life, since then I’ve lost probably 10-15 pounds, it keeps dropping too. I am a firm believer that weight is tied to trauma, working through it in a healthy way can definitely get those pounds down.
@urlmel
5 ай бұрын
So writing magically drop the. Weight?
@drama_rama_
5 ай бұрын
@@urlmelyes
@alex-fn4zr
5 ай бұрын
@@urlmel I think what this is about is that journaling about the topic creates a healthier relationship with food and therefore people will "magically" drop the weight.
@YukiKunikida
5 ай бұрын
@@urlmelYou sound like someone who has never journaled. It is therapeutic, you allow yourself to really connect with your inner self and you start being more conscious about a lot of stuff
@urlmel
5 ай бұрын
@@YukiKunikida I’ve journaled before just not often but maybe I should more
@seyneps5322
9 ай бұрын
you are a genious. i felt like talking to a therapist while watching this. i’ve lost 10 kgs. in this process, i have to face people who tell me that my overweight state was more beautiful and tell me to quit dieting over and over and honestly i get really fed up and want to eat like crap after hearing them. i was actually experiencing what you said before losing weight, i wish i had seen this video from the beginning. i allow myself to be skinny. i have 7 more kgs to lose, and i won't let anyone make me give up and i won’t be affected by what they say, because i allowed myself to be in the way that i want.
@cherivon972
8 ай бұрын
I’m allowing myself to be skinny because after all I deserve to be skinny. I deserve to feel pretty and lovely and healthy so why keep depriving myself from it? I deserve to feel happier in my body, and from today I let myself be skinny
@simoneXox
3 ай бұрын
😂😂❤
@PetitRC39
28 күн бұрын
Ok KZitem, what the actual F ? HOW did KZitem know I needed this right now ? After yet another day feeling "cute but yet so fat", I've decided this morning that this needs to stop. So thank you for this ❤️
@goyc1862
9 жыл бұрын
I'd be able to have the closet that I know I could just reach in without any thought and whatever I grabbed would look beautiful on me. No more planning outfits ahead of time to make sure I don't look too fat. No more feeling disgusted at how I feel when I try on a beautiful dress that would look soooo perfect "if I could just be a little skinnier"
@ShimmerBodyCream
14 күн бұрын
I like the idea of giving ourselves permission to do something and not letting any self-concepts hold us back. We all just want to feel loved and happy. We don't need to look a certain way, have a certain amount of money, or even be liked by other people to feel happy and loving. We can just cut out the middleman and practice being happy and loved unconditionally - But I support any and every journey someone wants to take in pursuit of their joy and others. 💜 I hope everyone here finds the joy they are looking for in themselves and each other 💕
@ElegantFemme
14 күн бұрын
Amen 🙏
@curlygurlkay-kay1316
3 ай бұрын
For some reason this came on my timeline today in 2024… I did the journal activity and I actually shocked myself with something I wrote and I think I’ll share it here. “What if I let myself be skinny, I loose the weight and I’m treated better. Does that confirm that my value as a woman is tied to my physical appearance” I didn’t even know that was something I was scared of I didn’t realize that I was looking for external acceptance. 😅 I always told myself I don’t care what anyone thinks but apparently my subconscious still does! Atleast now I can face that reality and know my worth is not defined by others opinion. My life, my body, my goals.
@ElegantFemme
3 ай бұрын
ohhh what a HUGE awareness. Sending love xoxoxo
@shangao2252
14 күн бұрын
This is not only about body image. It’s the same logic for everything. Thank you!
@Charlotte-zj8rq
2 ай бұрын
I just organized my closet last night and went through all my beautiful clothes i never wear because i tend to throw on yoga pants and a hoodie. . Funny,, last night i gave myself permission to wear them and feel beautiful. This message reinforced that idea. Like a sign to go ahead. Thanks ❤.
@ElegantFemme
2 ай бұрын
Love this so much! You might also really enjoy the Let Yourself Be Beautiful episode in this series. It is in the playlist. And congrats for gifting yourself this celebration in your life 🖤
@rilakumma
Ай бұрын
If I let myself be skinny I’d wear cute clothes and not worry about my body dysmorphia especially on mirrors in different stores
@sleepybreASMR
2 ай бұрын
You can’t imagine how much this has helped me. I’ve struggled stepping into adulthood and my self image. I’m scared to step into my womanhood because subconsciously I feel others will compete with me and I can’t stand at their level.
@ElegantFemme
2 ай бұрын
I so hear you and this is such a vulnerable thing for us to admit. We play small for this exact reason. Inside of Elegant Femme women share with me all the time that they went from feeling like a little girl to a woman. It may be so helpful for you to start with The Femme Design Assessment and activate your FemmeTypes so you can begin to trust your power. Www.ElegantFemme.com/FDA Xoxo
@sagegreen3411
2 ай бұрын
i love the way you titled the video, it makes my body so much graceful and it makes me dont want to hear my family always judging me😂❤
@ElegantFemme
2 ай бұрын
That means a lot! And the underlying message is exactly that- we don’t allow ourselves to play small for fear of what others may think. 🖤
@aysxa00
2 ай бұрын
righttt, the whole video feels so elegant lol
@iamjanachehade
2 ай бұрын
What I understood from this is “allow yourself to be healthy” it is not about physical appearance anymore It is about having a healthy and a strong body
@ElegantFemme
2 ай бұрын
This is true. And we have a “Let Yourself be Healthy “ version of this series in the playlist 🖤
@AMDIndianapolis
Ай бұрын
So accurate 💕 I'm subconsciously afraid of being skinny out of fear I'll be harassed, abducted, attract predatory men or attract jealousy that somehow ruins future opportunities. it has already happened so perhaps I shouldn't be afraid anymore.
@Computergirl567
3 ай бұрын
for my preteen years i always wanted to be beautiful and popular. I was chubby and insecure. For some time I was bitter at the fact that I had so much trouble feeling confident and getting male attention. But then around 15-16 I realized something. Confidence isn't a "on off" switch. You might have to do things to make yourself more confident. I have lost weight and now at 16 I am much skinnier than I used to be, I have better posture, dress and style myself better, and take care of myself. Some may see it as "giving in to beauty standards" I see it as "making myself happier and healthier" and I feel better about myself. My life doesn't have to be a political statement on not fitting beauty standards. If I feel better as a thin person, great! I'll be skinny and take care of myself.
@ElegantFemme
3 ай бұрын
Wow! At 16 such an evolved and aware response. And as we know from the video it’s not just about being « Skinny » it’s really about Loving ourselves to experience what we desire without the fear that someone else won’t like it. Sending you so much love and acknowledgment 🖤
@Computergirl567
3 ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemme thank you!
@Original-Michiko
6 ай бұрын
Please redo this video and speak more about frenchie and indie! Everything you said is true. And while the wording may not be appropriate in today’s culture, it’s all TRUE. Loved it and thank you!
@Derkek2000
Ай бұрын
If i wouldnt have to worry about being skinny id have fun with mh friends and no longer feel a desire to hide who i am and who i want to be
@melisandre1784
5 ай бұрын
I wish I lived in a different world. This shit makes me so sad for us. Not surprising that this video is gaining traction again after 11 years. Very much feels like the clock is rotating backwards lately. I hate this part of the pendulum.
@DeahnaLarwood
10 ай бұрын
This just came through into my feed, I am surprised this is 11 years old lol! This is a really good way of look at this! Ill have to give it a go :) thanks for sharing
@lovemusic10495
Ай бұрын
I think I want to be not just "skinny" but fit. Recently I have been only doing very minimal exercise and my doctor even tells me I have a weak core. If I become thin, I want it to be the result of my efforts to achieve it, not through only dieting. It will boost my self-esteem while giving me the body I will be more comfortable in!
@Cinnamon349
3 ай бұрын
When I had lost about 40 lbs and got back in shape-my “bestie” suddenly was so rude demeaning constantly stealing the conversation to herself when people would compliment me she would instantly change the subject in a group of woman. It definitely changed and ruined our friendship of 30years I had to drop her.
@georgiaquest7959
5 ай бұрын
the first part was so relatable for me. i used to be obese as a kid and last year i got down to 120lbs - skinny!!! but once i got there it wasn’t enough for me and i wanted to push it to 112 pounds [mean girls influence lol]. because of that unrealistic goal i carried on trying to diet and ended up binging. now im 131 pounds and would do anything to look like what i did 11lbs ago.
@Hottestonthebock
3 ай бұрын
I allow myself to be pretty again and stop dressing down to make others around me feel comfortable, I allow all the attention and love from myself so I can truly be my best version of myself
@svetxo
3 ай бұрын
never water yourself down to make others comfortable❤
@pshshshvf
3 ай бұрын
This is what i needed to hear today❤
@biancamancini5931
3 ай бұрын
thank you
@Mia15239
Ай бұрын
Ohmygosh.. TRUEEE
@mika4444
Ай бұрын
OMG SO TRUE ❤❤❤
@kourtenayt1927
4 ай бұрын
I relate to this so hard. As soon as i see ive dropped a few pounds on the scale it seems like i start self sabotage! So frustrating
@malyeonnie
Ай бұрын
If I could allow myself to be skinny...i think if I let myself be skinny and lose weight id be the happiest I could ever be. When I think about it, all of my problems revolve around the fact that im overweight and not skinny compared to kids my age. I think if I were skinny my life would be perfect tbh. I really want my collarbone to show for some reason lol I also wanna wear pretty clothes without feeling ashamed everytime i pass by a mirror. Also im not saying that certain clothes are made for skinny people and that chubbier people cant wear them, I just dont feel comfortable wearing certain clothes in my current body. Ive been dieting since I was in 5th grade, at first I didn't really know what I was doing but I eventually figured it out and I now know A LOT about dieting and exercising and losing weight etc..the reason Ive always wanted to lose weight is... Thats a hard question lol buf i just feel like if I lose weight my life would be complete if...idk. Everytime i start dieting again and working out I just feel the urge to give up bc im not seeing results I always give up..is that what you mean by self sabotaging ??anyways im restarting tomorrow also im always on a diet... I fck up sometimes but...
@DelicateRedRose
Ай бұрын
Its so weird when someone looks at me and goes "I used to be that small". I almost feel guilty 😂
@AMDIndianapolis
Ай бұрын
you're inspiring them to come back into alignment. no guilt required.
@ariana8923
6 ай бұрын
When I get to move on from focusing on being skinny, I will be able to feel more like myself and be able to pursue other passions. And maybe even help others with this :)
@meganhill9916
9 жыл бұрын
i'd be no longer the fat friend, I would love my body , i'd feel beautiful :)
@monicahughes2757
9 ай бұрын
I feel guilt wanting to be skinny like it’s a selfish thing. Plus the word skinny sounds unhealthy. But I just mean healthy skinny. But the sick part of my brain wants to be underweight although I’m very overweight😮
@s.s4661
4 ай бұрын
Off topic but you are so stunning. Literally mesmerised by your beauty whilst watching the video.
@Vintageshabbychi
4 ай бұрын
Maybe this is true 😅, if we look like what we really want to look like then we'll have to stop hating ourselves/ physical appearance.
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
What is being shared here is a deep release from stopping ourselves from experiencing what we desire in any facet of life. It's less about physical appearance and more about the depth of trusting ourselves completely.
@WisdomAwakens
4 ай бұрын
If I let my skinny, if I didn’t have to worry about that part of my life anymore, it would be stepping into a new state of freedom, ease, and power almost incomprehensible to me. If I gave myself the permission, and no longer felt I had to hide my radiance and beauty underneath weight, I’d be simultaneously giving myself permission to have the unapologetically incredible life I want. I would allow myself to be desired by men who are actually worthy of me, resting in my worth and ease. I would be operating not from a fearful chasing mind, but a mind that is calm, deserving, owning. Who I am and what I am capable of would expand.
@infiniteanalogy7448
3 ай бұрын
2.27 in the video and she describes exactly my reality, I get the skinny figure and as soon as i'm there I think "good now i'm good i can eat crap again i have credit" and just go into a food orgie
@Life_Love_and_a_Lens
4 ай бұрын
Idont agree with a lot of what you said, sometimes desires shift... but I will say most women don't "let themselves be skinny" because they know that's not what's truly making them unhappy...its just the easiest most societally acceptable reason to blame all of your unhappiness on
@lydwalk
2 ай бұрын
i would have so much creative energy to live out my souls purpose. i'd actually be unstoppable.
@ElegantFemme
2 ай бұрын
Amen!!!
@avi-iq8mh
5 ай бұрын
i think the reason I dont allow myself to be skinny is because if I want to change who I am today then that directly means Im not accepted by myself today or what I am rn is not okay. But thanks for the vid didnt really understand the whole of it but gave me a better direction
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
ohhh this is so important! Yes, it is not about waiting to love ourselves; it is about loving ourselves right now and allowing that which we desire to transform. Sending you love
@avi-iq8mh
4 ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemme thank you sm💕
@Anonymous-ks1mk
2 ай бұрын
Why do I get vampire dairies vibes from you? In the best way possible, your beauty and charisma remind me of the characters in vampire dairies! If you’re a fan then you’ll definitely find this to be a huge compliment ❤
@ElegantFemme
2 ай бұрын
Omg I don’t know ;) I will trust you that’s a compliment 😘 I’m not 48.5 (the half starts to count again 🤣) and I look different now. But my soul is still the same- as are we all. 🖤
@Anonymous-ks1mk
2 ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemme of course!! Charisma doesn’t go away no matter how old you are!! I’m sure you aged like fine wine! Subscribed and can’t wait for more videos to come ❤️
@leebeedav
4 ай бұрын
Wow. A lot has happened in 11 years.
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
it certainly has;)
@tatachichi7884
4 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for the video 🙏, the exercize you recommend is so valuable
@klmjtr
3 ай бұрын
Just hearing this has lifted a weight off my mind!
@sharonramsey715
5 ай бұрын
Wouldn’t it be dreadful if women were simply happy with their bodies. What would you have to talk about then?
@kristine.machine
4 ай бұрын
not me watching this 11 years later at 10:45 pm laying in bed eating potato chips with hot sauce
@movieillusionworld
5 ай бұрын
I'm so healthy that i don't even remember the last i go to the hospital.But literally everyone judge me,made me feel insecure about why i am thin,i have curvy body.So for people chubby side is a healthy side,and strong side.So it's the societal perception,you are strong and healthy,it's just matter of mind.What you think,you become.If you think,you are most strong person in the whole multiverse,you are.Same goes for healthiness.So because of judgement people didn't want to be skinny.
@movieillusionworld
5 ай бұрын
And when even i become like sick of course we are human,so we get sick.people resonate with because i'm skinny like seriously even when i got ichy or some headache.The thing is people try their best to prove their perception right and it's your responsiblity to not care about it.I try my best to not get sick in public,i'm more scared of people judgement then getting sick.I die alone but avoid getting sick in public because of their those judgy eyes.
@top10epicrobloxmoments
4 ай бұрын
algorithm tellin me im a fatty
@fitwithbrittany2706
3 ай бұрын
This is profound
@micahburris7686
3 ай бұрын
Thanks
@Fatoma1123
2 ай бұрын
Grateful❤
@Mia15239
Ай бұрын
KZitem looking after me
@Doe3Love8
2 ай бұрын
It finally found me 😂✨️
@stephaniem7374
9 ай бұрын
Yes the way she worded sounds weird but what I got from this is that it’s all about the mindset you have as long as you’re not putting yourself at risk just for the sake of being thin. She is NOT endorsing ed in my opinion. It’s also about learning to control yourself and surround ourselves with people and food that is healthy for us to be healthy not just to be thin.
@JasKhalid
Ай бұрын
I’ve replaced the word “skinny” with “fit and healthy”
@ElegantFemme
Ай бұрын
That is perfect!
@marywithane9166
3 ай бұрын
Stupid question - Once you do the journalling then what? What is the technique to overcome the self sabotage? Thanknyou this video is so good and I've now followed your podcast on Spotify 🙏🏻
@ElegantFemme
3 ай бұрын
So happy you found us and amazing that you are listening to the Beautiful Soul-Led Life podcast as well. After honoring the journaling for yourself and really feeling into the awareness of what you have allowed to stop you on the past, comes the devotion to you to love your most extraordinary life no matter what. It’s not a strategy, yet a consistent yes to you each and every day. Creating a flow that highlights what you value and then prioritizing it every day. Honoring it and creating sensual boundaries that reflect the love you have for yourself. Elegant Femme has many ways to support women on the journey and you may live the Femme Design Assessment as a first step. That link is ElegantFemme.com/FDA 🖤
@marywithane9166
3 ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemme wow thank you for such a prompt and considered reply I really appreciate it!
@marywithane9166
3 ай бұрын
I struggled with this, couldn't work it out and prayed for an answer to my self sabotage and I *think* I've worked it out. A lifetime of being overweight, I'm not afraid of losing weight, I would be excited and feel free and not invisible. But when I asked "can I allow myself to be skinny" I finally realised that even though o eat well and exercise, I use food to calm down, when I'm stressed, when I want to relax,. I Can't stay in the discomfort and this is what is sabotaging me. Imagine I didn't eat all those times I'm SURE my body would naturally fall to a healthy weight!! So it's not the fear of being skinny It's the fear of sitting with the present. Wow.
@siobhancharlton
Ай бұрын
Last time I was skinny I wanted to be skinnier and wasn’t happy with how I looked and constantly wanted to be skinnier I’m scared
@ElegantFemme
Ай бұрын
I hear this. The intention of this video is not to associate self worth with how skinny we are. It is to allow ourselves to be in a space of self love and have our bodies follow. I encourage you to watch the Let yourself Be Happy” episode in this series. Sending love 🖤
@siobhancharlton
Ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemme thank you so much, I appreciate your kind words ♥️
@raise.yourself.better
9 ай бұрын
You're a genius. Thank you so much for this video, I'm very grateful 💖
@simoneXox
3 ай бұрын
Today I got recommended this
@natalydevous
3 ай бұрын
Like this comment if this video also made you cry in 2024 🥲 I didn't realize I was harboring so much self-guilt or that I was sabotaging myself. Grateful for this kind reminder to give myself permission to grow.
@jessicab331
5 ай бұрын
KZitem is going crazy!!! This is only in my recommendations 11yrs later…🫠
@Cate-7eswu0i
3 ай бұрын
You don’t find the video. The video finds YOU.
@ykitshk
3 ай бұрын
that makes me feel so guiltyy
@telmesomethinidk
3 ай бұрын
shes the gas station commercial lady at the gas pump dude. seriously, check out her later videos. Speedway advertises her
@alisaadams5741
2 ай бұрын
And the fact that it’s 11 years old
@blondeepartygirl
2 ай бұрын
only took 11 years hahahah
@katiesmith9730
2 ай бұрын
LMFAOOO frrr
@lavanyameena2902
3 ай бұрын
11 years ago i thought wow great video quality for 2000s then i realised 11 years ago was 2013
@jecoliaha282
2 ай бұрын
Frrr💀
@Kamii_PR
2 ай бұрын
Fr like I thought it meant 2009😭
@yuzan3607
2 ай бұрын
@@Kamii_PR I thought it's 2009 too 😶🌫
@rainbowcupcakeunicornsprinkle
2 ай бұрын
SAME I was thinking 09-07 😭
@cianalovesjdm
Ай бұрын
WOW
@Godisfirst21
5 ай бұрын
2024 and this came up. Okay, ill go get skinny.
@Bootyeater566
5 ай бұрын
Lol
@Neophema
5 ай бұрын
Just eat natural foods that nourish your body and don't leave you craving crap. Do you see any fat animals in the wild? No. Slim and fit is our natural state.
@blue..ridding..h00d
5 ай бұрын
@@Neophemawalruses are pretty fat.. also whales need to be to stay warm.. and wombats are pretty round
@snootyvamp
5 ай бұрын
@@Neophemathere are fat animals..also humans are animals and can be naturally skinny or fat lol
@Weakicecream
4 ай бұрын
@@NeophemaI seen fat animals out in the wild 😭
@azharkussainova9144
5 ай бұрын
"If i gave up on being pretty i would not know how to be alive" - Mitski
@soshisushi7421
5 ай бұрын
thats a dumbass quote 😭
@josiek7589
5 ай бұрын
@@soshisushi7421 not really. a lot of women center their lives around becoming prettier.
@Izzyarden
5 ай бұрын
real
@Peewee2782-x6x
5 ай бұрын
Real
@Matty-vy2px
5 ай бұрын
Honestly this video hit home for me so hard but when it comes to success and following my dreams. I am so afraid of my own abilities and my own vast potential for success because I know it could leave me isolated. I feel alone, and I don’t want to be alone forever, so I sabotage my own abilities that I know will lead to envy because I want to be loved. I’m afraid to be as talented as I am. I like this lady, even if her video was about being skinny, for everyone they have their core values and the self sabotage and fear of being beautiful is real. She’s wise.
@luna1r
4 ай бұрын
Honestly, came here expecting really problematic advice, but what she says actually makes sense.
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
Yes there is much more to the video;) I am glad you stayed and heard the underlying message 🖤
@iamPudding
3 ай бұрын
It's summertime 2024... we can all be skinnier by Christmas! Let's do this!
@Celeste333
2 ай бұрын
Bet
@daradarling
2 ай бұрын
Let’s goooo!
@ssandycats
2 ай бұрын
eek !!
@annatilson2505
2 ай бұрын
Hell yes!! Already making so much progress 🎉
@kayz1832
2 ай бұрын
Tifally
@CrowMagic444
5 ай бұрын
This showed up in my feed 11 years later. I just did the journal prompt and had to come back and comment. I realized that I am afraid if I allow myself to be skinny I will no longer fit in with my boring, stressful, unhappy life. So if I allow myself to be skinny I will have to go out and live the life of my dreams. That would require so much bravery. I am afraid if I could not find the bravery within myself, I would be even more unhappy.
@SerenEnfys
5 ай бұрын
Maybe some inner child prompts?
@emilyjulia9178
5 ай бұрын
Here to tell you you're still allowed to be stressed out and unhappy when you improve your looks by weightloss, which might give a little comfort. Not a very encouraging comment perhaps but what I basically mean to say is, allow yourself to take one step at a time. These things aren't as attached to eachother as you make them out to be, it's just whatever you improve about yourself makes it's a little easier to deal with other areas in your life that need improvement. Gaining weight might have been a disfunctional coping mechanism, connected with your belief system at the moment, but not getting your whole life together at once doesn't make you a failure.
@aleesapage7687
5 ай бұрын
“Why am I afraid of living the life of my dreams?” Keep it going !
@tool-enjoyer666
5 ай бұрын
Congratulations bc youre being very honest with yourself!! Not a lot of people have the courage to admit to this. Its not only being skinny or whatever of course, but any “good” thing that we have an excuse for not doing. Nothing wrong with being fat but i feel like most people dont truly want to be, they just find excuses bc its scary to change…
@belissimahoney69
4 ай бұрын
This one ☝️ ❤
@my.hideaway1581
4 ай бұрын
It’s not just that I want to get skinnier, I want to get my life together in so many ways. I want to look better, yes, but I also want to function better too.
@createdlifeco
3 ай бұрын
Yes!
@ElegantFemme
3 ай бұрын
THIS🖤
@Emsw613
4 ай бұрын
Mom comment really got me. Everytime I try to better myself my mom starts competing. Makes me not want to try because I don’t want to be apart of her competition. But this is about me not her. Will give myself permission to be better
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
I so hear you...it is truly about allowing yourself to be all of who you desire to be. Others may get activated when they see us living our truth, but holding our truth back doesn't support them either. Sending you love
@Emsw613
4 ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemmethank you ❤️
@homodeus8713
3 ай бұрын
Wow! Cheering you on.
@Mia15239
Ай бұрын
I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. No mother should treat heir daughter like that. ❤❤❤
@alumsdizzle
Ай бұрын
Your comment made me feel like I am not alone in this 💞 I struggle with a narcissistic mom too. I’ve stayed small in so many ways because I don’t like triggering her and having her challenge me and tear me apart. But it’s time to step into my own and be the woman I want to be, my mom and her little narcissistic games be damned!
@jennifersuzanne4764
6 жыл бұрын
What you're saying sounds ridiculous at first, but for the people who also think like me, this makes total sense. I've been obese my whole life. I've never been enormous, but large enough that I've never been the smaller girl in my group of friends. In my up-bringing, that was just the life style that I've learned. I'm actually trying to get some weight off so I can feel great on my wedding day and it's been so difficult. I know exactly what to do. It's been working, but I get complacent and I just can't seem to understand why. Some weeks ago, it occurred to me that I'm actually scared to be skinny and full of energy. That sounds so stupid when I type it out. I'm serious, though. Being more beautiful, fit and energetic actually scares me because it's means permanent life changes, unknowns and how much more attention am I going to get? I don't like attention because of the lifetime of insecurity. Weight loss is a real struggle on plains that I hadn't ever considered before until I started really trying. I know that I can't be alone in this.
@tatrofamily1757
5 жыл бұрын
You're not. I hope your wedding day was beautiful.
@iclandiccubicle2798
10 ай бұрын
this is exactly how I feel today, I just turned 18, I am my no means fat but I would love to be thin, and beautiful but I'm somehow scared women will be mad at me for being thin, I am never mad at other women for being beautiful or thin because I realize that it takes a lot of intention and work, but for me I feel like I'm betraying some of bigger friends and I don't want them to be jealous of me, I don't want men to hit on me, but I still want attention and to know I'm desirable, I feel like I'm going crazy its a daily struggle of deciding if I want to be thin or stay the same and satisfy my family and friends.
@ElegantFemme
10 ай бұрын
I so hear you...and I recorded this so long ago. I might use different words today, but the essence is the same. Allowing ourselves to experience and express ALL of who we desire to be. I hope you had a stunning wedding day!
@sashaspektor9467
9 ай бұрын
This is so real. I totally feel you. Your are beautiful for the simple fact that you know and speak your truth. ❤️
@alicelovescats888
8 ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemmehi What are Frenchy and Indy? Where do these terms come from? Or where are they used? I have never heard them before. They sound like psychology terms?
@aditi.0725
27 күн бұрын
Before 2024 ends, I'll be skinny.
@yessica5231
9 ай бұрын
I'm actually so happy this isn't some pro-ed stuff and it's actually reasonable and sound discourse. I find that everytime someone mentions how they notice I've been losing weight I always subconsciously revert back to my unhealthy ways. I don't know why I hate it so much when people point it out to me. I think it's because I don't allow myself to be skinny, as you say. Sort of like I punish myself in a way.
@okaywhat123
5 ай бұрын
I feel like when ppl tell me I’m losing weight, I start to subconsciously think "they think I’m fat, or they thought I was fat and they’re noticing my fat is lessening” and this starts to make me feel sad, that they noticed I’m losing weight bc they initially noticed I was fat to begin with, and then I guess I revert and sabotage myself bc I feel bad that they’re noticning? Idfk 😢
@yevheniiaalbin1934
5 ай бұрын
@okaywhat123 omg same happening to me , specifically when my in laws do comment on me loosing one or 2 kilos I go and eat like crazy and gain 5 or even 6 more than before 😢😢😢
@damongirl66
3 ай бұрын
@@okaywhat123 Someone at work said I'd lost a noticeable amount of weight and I found it encouraging and have lost a bit more weight since then. She probably thought I was fat before. I know I was.
@katiejon17
3 ай бұрын
So funny - I’m the same. In fact when she said to journal about it, I immediately thought “someone would comment to me in my weight loss, meaning it as encouragement, but I would be so embarrassed and just quit”. Why are we like this?!
@jennifersuzanne4764
6 жыл бұрын
"I started self-sabotaging. Have you ever done that?" YES. Every time. :(
@goji7001
5 ай бұрын
What holds me back is the *fear* that I will become skinny and then gain weight again, bc that's happened to me before. I need to just let that go!
@Bankai90
5 ай бұрын
learn how to count kcal?
@roksanarudzinska7737
5 ай бұрын
@@Bankai90 yes but counting and sticking to it is a different thing
@roksanarudzinska7737
5 ай бұрын
So I think it’s more about discipline
@Bankai90
5 ай бұрын
@@roksanarudzinska7737 well discipline is better than luck
@MrsTessWren
5 ай бұрын
You may have some sneaky triggers that you don’t register yet… journaling could be very helpful for you: if you’ve reached your goal, look carefully when you find yourself doing something like overeating fast food for example. While you’re eating it, think about what was happening before you made the choice to buy it, where you eat it (ex: alone in your car, or with others), how you feel while eating it, and then how you feel after. The act alone of creating awareness around the situation can help a lot. Sending you lots of love💖
@Als-ny8zm
Ай бұрын
I was skinny before, but didn’t think I was. I realise now that I was.
@rilakumma
Ай бұрын
REAL
@Soy.Gabriela
24 күн бұрын
Me too 😢
@theredlocksband
22 күн бұрын
Same
@Mariam-cn6cm
17 күн бұрын
Same here
@MyUsernameGoesHere
4 ай бұрын
If I let myself be skinny I would be more involved in my community and friendships. I would interact with everyone and say YES to every invite out. I would get dressed with ease. I would enjoy getting ready. I would not be fearful of being seen. I would actually enjoy compliments and believe them. I would feel accomplished. I could move on to other things in my life.
@pelin6320
4 ай бұрын
I hope you get your dream body, you deserve it🙏🏻
@pennytwink
3 ай бұрын
me too❤
@chantelr5569
3 ай бұрын
I felt this.
@PeyloBeauty
2 ай бұрын
Never related so much to something. I‘m even skipping vacation with my family because of it.
@jenniferibarra7737
2 ай бұрын
This right here is so true ! When my face was slim I wouldn’t hesitate to go out now it’s gotten so bad that I don’t even want to leave the house to go to the store down the block :(
@TimLines
5 ай бұрын
11 year old video, I’m not a woman wanting to get skinny and I watched the whole video anyways. Now I’m writing in my journal about setting goals about who I want to become.
@SaphiraLeander
4 ай бұрын
this is so amazing. i will journal about "can i let myself be happy?" because i think thats a beautiful journaling prompt. i dunno if im ready to do the skinny prompt, guess im afraid of that one
@TimLines
4 ай бұрын
@@SaphiraLeander you can. Realize, think and feel what it would be like to be skinny. “I got to buy all these new pants because my old ones don’t fit” How would your lifestyle change? Maybe you would go for a walk, run or workout each day? How would your nutrition change? Making healthy meals, having quality food. Realize that right now you are a healthy person, you are skinny, and your decisions you make going forward will follow that change of mentality.
@Bri-rw7ik
3 ай бұрын
Right I’m a woman who is already skinny due too fast metabolism I’m taking the advice for other aspects of my life
@bluesirius-cn9my
3 ай бұрын
i don’t understand what i should journal out though
@meagankendraleal3929
3 ай бұрын
Love that for you
@iwanttobeapotato5661
4 ай бұрын
i found this video right when i’m in the sabotaging phase. Thank you.
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
oh I am so glad it is supportive to you.
@makbeeswork8146
Ай бұрын
Who’s watching it in August 2024 ❤? This video just suddenly popped on my explore 🫨
@tulip811
9 ай бұрын
I needed this. I remember being 8kg lighter and way sexier😭 I'm not overweight, it's just that little extra weight which is too much. If only I lost 3kg, that would be enough
@S-jy4fd
8 ай бұрын
This was me and I lost half the weight so far. Intermittent fasting and 1200 calories of healthy food works
@lol-ms4ff
3 ай бұрын
Did you allow ur self ?
@iamverena2993
3 ай бұрын
Same, I am now 20lbs heavier and i am so unhappy. I was so happy, when I was skinny I was so confident. I am letting myself be skinny and do not worry what other people think
@soggydelafries
10 ай бұрын
i literally have been eating so much these last days after months of consistency and seeing results and finally starting to feel confident. this video helped sm i saw it at the perfect time
@ElegantFemme
10 ай бұрын
I am so happy to hear this! It's amazing how when we start to feel good, we will limit ourselves from the next level. Having the power to identify this is HUGE! Bravo.xoxoxo
@anonymouspersonq
9 ай бұрын
Sameee unfortunately but remember we can back on track🤍 Good luck on your journey✨
@hyunjinsredlips1761
9 ай бұрын
if i were skinny and didnt have to worry about it anymore, i would finally be able to wear the outfits i put together in my head, I'd finally know what it's like, I'd finally feel like i am enough and not inferior to others. i wouldn't have to worry about my belly or my excess fat and i could just be at peace for once. i would finally be the best version of myself. i would finally get it. i would feel even better than others at time because i got to my goal and they didnt. i know people would be jealous of me as i am of others now and hopefully i wouldnt have to be jealous of anybody else anymore. i would feel confident while dancing, working out, being active, wearing my outfits and just throughout the whole day. i would have enough to focus on even then because i have plenty of other obligations and interests that need my attention so i wouldnt get bored.
@incognito_tab43
5 ай бұрын
All this could be solved with exercise. I used to be quite chubby in high school. I started at home exercises and it changed my life (I’m not even exaggerating). If you don’t like something about yourself, do something about it if possible. When you look good you feel good imo
@spaxiovuoto
4 ай бұрын
this video and these comments are so toxic, u dont NEED to be skinny to do all these stuff period. if you want to be more healthy eat better and exercise more but all this is not NEEDED to live a happy life and love yourself and stop judging ys, youre so frustrated and i assure you are focusing on the wrong aspects to fix
@joycekempers
Ай бұрын
But you are already good enough. You don’t have to change anything to be worth it. I know it’s hard to believe that if your mind tells you the opposite, I’ve been there too, but it’s so important to accept yourself as you are right now. The goal is also not to feel better than others, that will not give you freedom and inner happiness. The goal is just to accept and love yourself exactly as you are 🤍✨🌺
@eccentricpsychedelic
10 ай бұрын
I realized recently that I self sabotage my weight loss because I am afraid of male attention. I know a lot of men are still attracted to me at a bigger size, but if I were skinny, I'd get 10x more attention. I don't like them approaching me or even looking at me for too long. I want to go about my life without being perceived, which is kind of impossible. I realize that being overweight doesn't just make me invisible to the men who are not attracted to me, it also makes me hide more. I assume I'd probably still cover up a lot even if I were skinny but I'd be less self conscious about going out and just living my life, but at the same time I'd be scared to receive too much male attention. I was an early bloomer and I had a curvy body as a teenager and none of the guys at my school were interested in dating me, they dated all the skinny girls who had mostly flat chests but they asked to see me naked or want to have sex or want me to take nude pictures. But they never publicly pursued me in any way. I also got a lot of attention from older men as a teen. I think this made me sabotage my own body and gain a lot of weight over time. I'm in my mid 20's now and I'm mostly just tired of being exhausted and not feeling good, not being able to wear the clothes I like, my back hurts, etc... I just want to be healthy and live my life and not have people assume things about me bc of my appearance. I think I'm just afraid of what comes with being a woman, I feel really unsafe in the world, objectified and always observed. Being overweight in a way is protection and also somewhat a form of rebellion but it's also something I'm deeply ashamed of.
@_justhaley
10 ай бұрын
17 yo and I completely agree with you, I’d say my way of feeling about myself is kind of different but about the subject of male gaze I agree with you at a 100%, I feel like having lived as an obese person really makes you see the bad side of some people, you don’t value them much so they won’t be afraid to mistreat you or to not give you so much attention, I really think it has helped me to be stronger in a way, to just understand that people will never really like me as they’re too stupid to understand that I have worth even as a person suffering from obesity, and in the same way, it made me disguised by most mens, the fact of objectifying women so much and litteraly disrespecting them when they don’t correspond to their beauty criterias just makes it impossible for me to actually believe that they are on the same level of intelligence and maturity as me, I don’t regret because overweight even tho it has caused me a lot of physical and psychological pain, I just feel so much detached from people now, and I can’t even imagine having a deep connection with someone who may disrespect me or being ashamed of me if I would simply have more fat in my body, and in general not pleasing their eyes. Before starting my weight loss I actually was actively looking for a man who would love me and be proud of me with and without my fat, and I can tell you, even though I’m younger than you, that even though you may be more ugly, undisciplined, more poor etc… when you’re fat, people still DONT have the right to disrespect you, being fat doesn’t mean belonging into a category of people with lower worth, we’re just normal people, with different bodies, we shouldn’t be ashamed or regret our habits choices, even our mistakes that made us fat, we need to be proud in order to evolve , because God Nevers makes mistake in our destiny, if we experienced a situation, we were meant to learn something from it !
@_justhaley
10 ай бұрын
We’re not just fat, we are people, we are souls, we were not supposed to be products of beauty , we shouldn’t fall into that societal thought of objectifying our bodies just like it has objectified our lives in order to create them abundance
@tOoHotToHandle-699
9 ай бұрын
@psychedelia5402 u worded this so perfectly
@Diana72910
9 ай бұрын
Omg never found someone who had the same thought process as me… wow. We should be friends
@Dgtlbath
9 ай бұрын
Five years ago I started therapy at my highest weight (109kg), I didn’t know why I couldn’t lose weight. Until after a lot of therapy sessions I found out that, one of the reasons I didn’t allowed myself to lose weight, was that if I did so, I was going to feel attractive enough to be in a relationship, and that scared me so so so much. It was true! I worked on it, I lost the weight, and found a loving partner
@Mrs.Suchnso
10 ай бұрын
After losing 120 lbs I sometimes have to remind myself that I’m allowed to do this. It’s as if I’m waiting for someone to tell me I’m doing something wrong. I know I’m not doing anything wrong at all but that voice of self doubt has been a huge player in my life. It’s hard to shut her up now.
@ElegantFemme
10 ай бұрын
You are ALLOWED! You can feel safe in the body you desire to experience. Sending you so much love
@JESUSCHRISTISGOD627
5 ай бұрын
@@ElegantFemme"you can feel safe in the body you desire to experience " you hit the nail on the head! Thank you!
@susannagobbo1522
5 ай бұрын
I’m sorry but can I just say we should perhaps question why we have the desire to be skinny in the first place? Why should you want to look a certain way, why does it matter at all. Because societal structures (i.e. patriarchy) tie women’s worth to their physical traits as they have historically seen as first and foremost mothers to bear babies. Now, 2024, do we really still need to direct so much of our energy to how we look, and still feed into that desire of appealing to somebody else, finally getting a perfect body to show off? Aren’t there more interesting things to work on?
@cido2270
5 ай бұрын
You are so right. I’m glad that someone agrees with me in this comment section because everyone seems to support this without questioning. It’s like if everyone’s a brainless lamb in here. Also, this video can be really triggering to some people. Asking myself the question, why am I not allowing myself to be skinny is just equivalent to asking why did I eat today at all. And this video, the question makes me even more guilty about eating, pushing me even more into my ed. And I know that I’m not alone. This is so dangerous. Eating is not self sabotaging, we literally need to eat to STAY ALIVE for god’s sake. I’m so tired of being a part of this system where I’m killing myself to fit in this stupid standard.
@decomposinglavender
4 ай бұрын
im so glad someone said it
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
the deeper meaning of this video goes far beyond and nto allowing ourselves to express all of who we are without upper limiting. I created this 11 years ago;) and would not name it the same today...but the message has helped a lot of women to let themselves embody what they desire. It is not about being skinny...as much as being whatever truly honors you. There is an updated podcast here podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-91-body-image-real-talk-the-love-the/id1611435615?i=1000652988869
@ElegantFemme
4 ай бұрын
I so hear you...and I agree. The deeper message of the video is to support letting go of any upper limits.
@user-us3jy2mb5r
4 ай бұрын
This is for yourself. Would you say this to a woman if they wanted to become jacked and have great muscles and show them off? In a way you sound mysognistic harping on the fact that making it sound like the only reason a woman would want to look a certain way is for men. Gross.
@larakdesigns6227
10 ай бұрын
Wow this popped into my feed and honestly you're a genius. I'm someone who has almost everything going on perfectly in my life and I just realized that I keep myself a bit on the heavier side because I'm afraid of being too perfect. It's like I self sabotage. Thank you so much for this. From now on I allow myself to be skinny and I allow myself to be perfect.
@yabe1496
9 ай бұрын
I'm not perfect, but everybody thinks I am (don't know why), the envy, the passive agressive comments, etc is a lot for me. When I gained weight people seemed to enjoyed it, and behave as if I was more easy to get along, more approachable, but my behaviour was the same as when I was skinny. I'm now losing fat, looking slimmer and have the feeling of being more vulnerable because I'm feeling lighter, smaller and found out that I gained the fat I lost because I was scary to feel vulnerable. I am now developing skills to feel I'm safe in a smaller and lighter body.
@EceV-g6i
9 ай бұрын
perfect lol looks like gods blessed u in the perfect life cards
@larakdesigns6227
9 ай бұрын
@@EceV-g6i yes thank God I'm very grateful ❤️
@thehollymorel
5 ай бұрын
Same. Most of my family members are overweight and I only post my body pics on my close friends story so they don't feel bad because that's how I used to and sometimes still feel... From now on, I'll allow myself to be skinny, healthy, toned, sexy, and confident!
@Empressmanifestor
5 ай бұрын
From personal experience other women find it threatening …
@themiabanana
3 ай бұрын
I am now skinny, but it was not my main goal. I just wanted to look healthy and sweat more by doing regular home exercises. It wasn't easy, and it involved a lot of crying, but my body image has relatively improved and I can wear any clothes I want now. You can do it too. Believe in yourself!!
@whocares2370
2 ай бұрын
I promise myself that I will let myself become skinny . I lost 11 kilos and I try and try until I reach it. No one can stop me, not even me.
@lizzydizzy9933
2 ай бұрын
What did you do to lose it?
@AgirlRachel
5 жыл бұрын
Such an interesting concept! Times in life I've gotten more fit I always retreat back to my old ways because I feel I don't deserve to be at my fittest, healthiest and happiest. This video has certainly opened my eyes to what's really going on in my psyche. Thank you!!
@ElegantFemme
10 ай бұрын
So powerful!
@FereshtaMusic
6 жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you so much for this. It took a few pages of journaling to change the story from, "my body is scared" to "my body is sacred." Blessings to you! 💖
@ElegantFemme
10 ай бұрын
SOOOOO Good!
@naomi2389
Ай бұрын
WORD♡
@ewaii514
9 ай бұрын
I allow myself to be skinny and allow myself to be beautiful without worrying about the changes 💟I let myself be skinny
@nyambura8090
8 ай бұрын
this moved something so sensitive and hidden in me. I have three sisters and my mom as well, and I grew up as the fat middle kid. I have always worried about telling them about my achievements so as to not make them insecure/offended somehow. oh gosh.
@lilcutie5082
7 ай бұрын
This is me. Right down to the fat middle kid. I'm choosing to switch my identity. I allow myself to be skinny, even if they judge
@naomi2389
Ай бұрын
I feel you even though I'm not the middle kid.
@Stayengenemoacaratsetter
2 ай бұрын
This has helped me realize myself. I don’t allow myself to be pretty and purposefully uglify myself in order to protect myself and not get attention. It’s due to childhood trauma. I don’t allow myself, because I am afraid of what will happen when I lose weight and regain my pretty self.
@ElegantFemme
2 ай бұрын
I hear you. You may feel called to join us inside of Chic365 if you have ever been called to move through A Course in Miracles. It’s ONE of the ways to remember that we are safe no matter what. 🖤
@Mia15239
Ай бұрын
This is exactly same for me.
@_yiv
Ай бұрын
“what would it be like if you let yourself be skinny?” if i let myself be skinny I would be my most authentic self, I wouldn’t have to worry constantly about if I’m being perceived as fat all the time, I wouldn’t feel inferior anymore. Something that has been burdening me for my whole life would finally be taken care of. And I could go on with my life and accomplish whatever I wanted. I could achieve the life that’s waiting on me. All while being skinny and beautiful.
@denarendall
26 күн бұрын
I don’t want to burst your bubble, but I’m sorry to let you know it does not work like that. My body dysmorphia only worsened when I became slim. I worry more than ever before about how I’m being perceived. I constantly fear doing something to mess it up and losing the body I work hard for. It has benefits, and I could never deny that fact. But your life will not miraculously become problem free! You just have different problems than before! 🫶🏼
@chaneldiane8611
4 ай бұрын
I allow myself to be skinny. I ve lost all my so called “ friends” who were always jealous, competitive and mean. Now am ready to step into my new era and be my best version, best friend, cheerleader 📣 and fan. ❤
@bread5414
Ай бұрын
Girl.. I'm skinny and trying to gain weight? Why's this here on my feed
@ElegantFemme
Ай бұрын
Change out skinny with healthy and follow the journal exercise
@TheCinnamondemon
Ай бұрын
OG the wizard liz
@ThePrincessdi77
8 жыл бұрын
if i allow myself to be skinny id become anorexic again. i use to be very skinny because i wasn't naturally thin even eating healthy so i didn't eat or ate very little and exercised. I did this from puberty until about 32 years old. I'm 35 now and try to eat healthy and indulge once and a while because obsessing over being skinny made my life hell. so i'm not skinny anymore. i still crave being skinny but everytime i start to lose i see myself getting out of control and eat less and less and i'm afraid to be at my goal weight cuz i know once i reach that point it wont be enough. how do i fix this issue.
@headphonic8
Жыл бұрын
obviously she's not referring to the mentally ill.
@lindsaywilliams3774
10 ай бұрын
Create a goal of self acceptance in your natural body. Freedom from the prison of control and manipulation. Unapologetic self acceptance is the goal.
@cjay233
9 жыл бұрын
I'd be a lot happier. I'd look forward to getting dressed. I would be able to focus on other parts of my life--how I live. I would probably be less ashamed and have more confidence.
@foxduncam7671
Ай бұрын
I realized the reason I can't let myself be skinny is because I can't admit I want to be skinny. If I were to lose more weight on purpose it would show the world that I'm not happy enough as I am and I have a hard time being vulnerable like that.
@ElegantFemme
Ай бұрын
I would invite you to do the journal exercise if you have not yet. What if it wasn’t about not being happy where you are, but desiring even more? And again it’s not that skinny makes anyone happy…it’s about trusting ourselves to live into whatever is uniquely calling us and not to self sabotage 🖤
@aaradhya_slytherin07
2 ай бұрын
This video was on internet for 11 years and i find it today. KZitem algorithm what were you doing these 5 years since i started browsing for getting a good body. Why did you not present me this video??? Whyyy?????????
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