"Imagine what would James Bond wear...!" Great advice!
@davidjarnot8548
25 күн бұрын
It's nice to know that one of the 73K subscribers to the channel is Ash's mother
@Lordrixson5489
26 күн бұрын
I've been on the receiving end of several metacarpal grinding handshakes myself! I put it down to egotism.
@user-eb3sh7bq4h
25 күн бұрын
Love your content, Ash! You’re always a class act. Thank you for the reminders. I’m inspired to keep my personal standards high, no matter what others around me choose to do.
@DavidHalfordsLane
22 күн бұрын
Disclosure: I have shaken hands without standing and now recognise that this is wrong. Your observation is noted and this once again demonstrates that life improvement is indeed a journey. Thank you, sir.
@j.s.wagner2582
16 күн бұрын
Spot on. Dress well, speak well, and others will emulate your example.
@jethrojacinto2798
26 күн бұрын
Great starter list, good refresher and reminder for us gentlemen no matter the age!
@TheChapsGuide
26 күн бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@vrdrew63
25 күн бұрын
Great stuff, Ash. A note on verbal communication: If you are going to be spending any amount of time in a country where English is not spoken, make a serious effort to learn the local language. If you travel or do business in France or Mexico, then develop a reasonable proficiency in French or Spanish. We are so lucky these days to have tools at our disposal that make independent language learning accessible. You don't have to achieve mastery of the language. But in my experience people will greatly appreciate the respect that you've shown by making the effort.
@user-ep9kk4mf1g
25 күн бұрын
My mom always said, “Good grooming, grammar, and gracious will take you far.”
@nickkambitis5340
26 күн бұрын
Ash, Sean Connery once wore a one piece Terry onesie !! 🤣🤣 You can still buy one from Orlebar Brown 007 Range.
@jimreece7615
25 күн бұрын
A hard outfit to pull off
@georgelush1998
22 күн бұрын
I believe that was in the opening scenes of “Goldfinger.” At the pool at the Fountainebleu in Miami.
@markw4263
26 күн бұрын
It’s all about paying attention.
@clivejohnson9515
26 күн бұрын
Twice the listening, half the talking... live by that one single rule, turn it into a life skill, and you won't go far wrong. I was taught this at an early age, and soon realised that what we say can have a profound effect on someone's day or life! Do this and you won't go far wrong! You'll be amazed at the amount of folk who do things the wrong way round as well!
@DIEMLtdTV
24 күн бұрын
I very rarely swear at work, in fact one day I did and a colleague said "I've never heard you swear before". I the workplace, I never have an opinion on religion, politics or pass comment on people. One thing I missed during the pandemic was a handshake. This is an excellent video which should be shown in all schools.
@Solaar_Punk
22 күн бұрын
I have a high-up boss that drops the F-bomb and I feel sorry for him because it makes him looks daft.
@DIEMLtdTV
20 күн бұрын
@@Solaar_Punk You never know who is listening. I heard of a company being bought out and the MD of the smaller company gave it the big-un to staff and was effing an Jeffing whilst doing so. Unbeknown, his new CEO in attendance is a rather conservative chap who frowns upon such "bants". Observers said it was embarrassing.
@05Rudey
26 күн бұрын
100% agree with the second point (and I apologise for what maybe a long comment), I was unfortunate enough to live my first 10 years in a farming community in Norfolk (yes that accent) then the next 15 years in South East London, Why is that bad I hear you ask? Well, I ended up sounding like Ali G with a slight farmers twang. I moved to Scotland in my mid 20s to help with my Grandads farm and my Grandad noticed that I was having real trouble communicating with the locals, having in some cases needing to repeat myself as much as 10 times because of the slang ridden way I used to talk, but in general, I could understand many of the thick Scottish accents without any trouble and got on really well with pretty much everyone. My Grandad (quite well spoken, some may say posh, dapper well connected man himself) pulled some strings and out of his own pocket hired (a friend from the pub) who used to teach at Eton & Oxford among many subjects including Elocution. After about a year, about 5 hours a week on basically removing all slang and speaking with authority (i'm guessing a similar education given to new public speakers), I started to notice that I no longer needed to repeat myself. I didn't notice the change within myself that much until I moved back to London about 6 years later and quite a few people noted that I sound alot like the actor Benedict Cumberbatch, not only did I find that flattering, as I like the actor I also found, with a better grasp of the English language (as well simply being better dressed casually) had opened many doors for me in just making a good first impression when it really matters. I'm a strong believer of this very simple philosophy, if you want society to treat you like a chav, dress and act like one, if you want society to treat you like a gentleman... Fill un the gap.
@johnbunton9177
26 күн бұрын
You are absolutely correct, Ash, when you talk about the importance of developing a wide vocabulary and speaking with elegance and precision. It does make a genuine difference because people will judge you on the way you speak just as they will on the way you dress. You express yourself beautifully, Ash, and even though I knew you were ex-military and ex-police, it never quite occurred to me that you were not university educated. -Take it as a compliment.
@kletts42
24 күн бұрын
Very good rules. Thankfully, I knew most of this, but much if this and other videos I wish I knew 25-30 years ago. Thank you for these videos.
@jimgroce9487
20 күн бұрын
Your posts are always good. I too enlisted in the military (US) right after high school and it took some time to develop some professional/gentlemanly skills. I have great respect for these traits now.
@philparkinson462
25 күн бұрын
Excellent advice as always Ash. I'm flabbergasted at the number of people unable to actively listen; instead, they just wait for a point to interject. It's frustrating in the extreme.
@johnorchin8567
25 күн бұрын
Brilliant advice once again Ash. I would add that I have encountered trades people who have shaken my hand very nicely, to give me the false impression that they were upright and honest, when indeed. some of the best workers I have encountered see that as an unnecessary affectation. What I’m basically saying is that applying a lot of the techniques you mention can give a false impression of who you actually are.
@Quip_gdb
25 күн бұрын
Love these videos. Thanks you, Ash.
@Solaar_Punk
22 күн бұрын
Luckily watching alot of 60s/70s TV programs in the 90s filled in any etiquette-gaps my parents missed. That sounds weird, but it's absolutely true.
@adrianwalker2833
26 күн бұрын
Perhaps one more rule: if you're going ABROAD and you have no command of the foreign language: just learn a few basic things and idioms. It will be appreciated by your opposite, that you made the effort.
@rampantcolt
24 күн бұрын
I lived in Europe for 5 years and your statement is true.
@Nicktuck333
23 күн бұрын
The general British arrogance to not speaking the language when abroad makes me cringe. Not attempting the basics words is discourteous. A true gentleman is worldy open minded and willing to try.
@cgarcia3964
25 күн бұрын
As my grandfather always said, manners speak more about your self and your family than money, formal education etc
@josoup5656
25 күн бұрын
Love the point about shaking hands while sitting down. This has always driven me mad.
@williamcreitz7759
26 күн бұрын
Excellent video--and great advice--Ash. Thank you.
@scott.milnemackay7964
25 күн бұрын
Hi Ash, Your content is absolutely fantastic. I came across you only 10-days ago when searching for, of all things, how to fold a shirt. Your 'how to iron a shirt' video was in the content list. I am 'ex-job' also and know how to iron a shirt (my mum taught me this too) but I loved the style of your presentation - the cut of your jib. I decided there and then to adopt your approach. My wife and I were in a neighbouring town yesterday and I was wearing a freshly ironed shirt and trousers, waistcoat and freshly polished Chelsea / trader boots. Two gentlemen complemented me on my appearance ! I have me own style but this has never happened before. Amazing. Thank you. 🙏
@TheChapsGuide
25 күн бұрын
Welcome to the world of the Chap.
@ProductionsFromBeyon
24 күн бұрын
Handshakes are always difficult for me because I have limited peripheral vision. I can shake your hand OR I can look you in the eyes, but I can’t do both.
@groove9tube
25 күн бұрын
I get passionate about health topics and like to talk about it a lot. Sometimes I get carried away with people. My wife tells me it gets out of hand. Hard to not do this.
@chriswright5050
26 күн бұрын
The ‘modern gentlemen’ - in the UK that seems to be a very very small number and dwindling pretty fast! Enjoying your videos !
@juanfigueroa4991
26 күн бұрын
Mr, Ash, excellent video. I did not know your were in Law enforcement. I should have known as an observer of human behavior , which is probably why I watch your videos. I try to keep calm when ambushed by folks in a conversation, Recently I lost my cool with a chap who has a long history of being adversarial with no one standing up to him. I unloaded and now feel that he got one over on me. I shall not apologize , as it was time for someone had to stop this behavior , yet I feel as let let so many constituents down. I am of course human. I thank you for your kind words, The Sheriff of Ulster in the States. JJF
@abagatelle
26 күн бұрын
F**%in bril$%$ant! - an erudite and illuminating presentation 🙂 Thanks very much.
@nuancedbro9373
26 күн бұрын
Ash - As a man of integrity, How do you navigate honesty in your life, in situations where people ask your opinion, or where you don’t like a partners friend for example? Do you hold back and not risk any offence for an easy life, or as you get older do you find it best to speak the truth even when you know the person won’t appreciate your answer right away? - thanks, Mark
@stevelee7963
26 күн бұрын
@@nuancedbro9373 I think honesty and discretion can sit together comfortably. I would not endorse the individual, but you do need half an eye on your future relationship.
@MrDanielEarle
24 күн бұрын
"what would James Bond wear?" is a question I ask myself at least five times a week
@kyproset
26 күн бұрын
You are so right Ash. Although my mother tongue is Greek, I'm more eloquent in English because I have been a big reader of books written in English, not Greek. My higher education was also in English. I'm embarrassed to say that when I converse in Greek and am at a loss for words, I use an English word to complete the thought. This sometimes annoys people.
@martinbonniciphotography
25 күн бұрын
Love it Ash, it's always nice to be reminded of the simple things. For me, I think eye contact, a good handshake and listening. Another is preferably never being the first one through a door, I'd much prefer holding it open for others within reason of course, unless it is checking for safety or discomfort, then I am happy to go first.
@GerardMolloy-ip5yc
26 күн бұрын
My worst handshake was at a book signing for a musician whose work I really enjoy. They kept the marker pen in their hand and I felt I couldnt apply any pressure at all to the handshake. Well below what I would normally do. I was crestfallen !! Great video Ash. Cheers from Derbyshire
@ukfalc
25 күн бұрын
😂I laughed when you said your mother enjoys the use of bad language. Great video.
@girafficparkgaming
25 күн бұрын
I know what open questions are Ash as I work in Sales. Its part of the training we teach , but I learned it when I was at Uni. Nursing.
@robcarley7506
25 күн бұрын
My boots are usually polished if that counts, I only wear boots unless I'm going for a run. Military length and a pair of work style boots, both are polished. Aunt taught me, she used to polish my uncle's boots occasionally when he was in the army.
@roccotarulli2464
26 күн бұрын
Ash, This was a useful and fun subject to listen to today. Living through life's lessons in dealing in social situations can be challenging. Good suggestions!
@jhj6636
24 күн бұрын
I really like your videos, Ash. Thank you for your sound and practical advice. This is quite reassuring to hear in this day and age. If I may add; I agree that being articulate and an effective communicator is important. From experience, I've encountered some - many - who can actually find this challenging, and at times 'threatening.' I attempt to adjust my communication at times to people who may respond like this. Also, I've encountered people who respond verbally aggressively to 'ordinary' reasonable dialogue and conversation, which puzzles me. Have you any advice on this?
@jeffreydaniels7519
23 күн бұрын
I’m a 64 year old man, and I was blessed with parents that taught me the social graces at an early age. I went on to great schools who reinforced and refined those social graces, and I worked in some of the most prestigious establishments in the World where those social graces helped to propel me to great social status and fascinating company. Somehow though over the last several years I started to notice I was becoming an old curmudgeon, swearing more often and occasionally raising my voice. All very uncharacteristic of my younger self. I must return to cultivating the dignified man I once was because that’s the man I knew had more self respect. My Mother, if still alive absolutely abhorred the F-word, so I have through the majority of my life rarely used it. Ashamed I have been using it more frequently of late. I’m attempting self-censor in respect for my late Mother and to regain my self respect. Love your videos.
@TheChapsGuide
22 күн бұрын
Don't beat yourself up about your life journey - we all have a few rough edges to knock off as we make our way to Chap Nirvana. It is all about the journey and not the destination!
@stevelee7963
26 күн бұрын
I am glad you mentioned the handshaker who crushes your hand. Happened to me on Tuesday, they think it’s clever and it is an attempt to show superiority.
@Olyfrun
25 күн бұрын
A warning sign that this person will try to take advantage of those around them.
@9er..
24 күн бұрын
Loving this! I fully understand the importance offering a firm handshake with eye contact and a smile….however, what is one to do if they receive a hand that resembles a bag of soggy spaghetti and feeble display of manners? I went to a concert the other week and afterwards was introduced to the lead performer. I’ve never felt such a limp hand and experienced such a poor display of an introduction. It took everything in me to not be instantly turned off from continuing the “conversation”.
@TheChapsGuide
24 күн бұрын
How disappointing for you. Never meet your heroes they say! At least you gave a good handshake and lived up to your standards.
@hoozat007
26 күн бұрын
Great tips. I think I have been following most of them. Looking forward to the follow-up video.
@mysteriousbigboy6744
26 күн бұрын
A subject which has troubled me much in the past. Over the years. Ash and viewers, what does one when in conversation with another, very decent, distinguished inspiring older man who is a retired professor but a "talker": very knowledgable in many areas, a manly, calming, sweet and respectful voice, open-minded and quick-witted, has excellent command of the language, rich vocabulary, colorful and vivid expression BUT the same older man persistently speaks for 95 percent (or more) of the conversation. And when I very briefly speak, just a few seconds in, he already is nervous to reply and continue with his long-form "monologues". We all know the situation, especially with some older humans, acting as kids, with little self-awareness of their spatiotemporal presence , speech and acts. I do not want to be rude or disrespectful to him. Though it is annoying to be repressed when in dialogue which feels and is, more of a monlogue, at 95% his speech during a total of 3 times and more than six hours of "conversation". He is both deeply inspiring and a mentor to listen to and irrititating to not be let fair, proper and enough time to express my own views. 60/40, 70/30, heavens even 80/20 on his favour would have been acceptable. A very generous 4/1 ratio. Everytine, I enjoy listening to him but soon I feel intellectually and physically disrespected, though it must not be on purpose. He obviously has loneliness issues (lives alone on a rural setting, with some pets for some years now), he evidently needs to express himself. I can be brutally direct and honest, so I have refrained to address the matter. How does a gentleman goes about to tackle these kinds of situations with similar people ? How do I become a gentle force for his elevation of situational awareness and growth ? Dialogue exists for people to improve their understanding of themselves and others. And to evolve as beings. I feel as a failure, for I have not come up with a way to assist him, to mirror himself on me, as any intellectual man should be a force for betterment and growth. Any perspective is welcome.
@TheChapsGuide
26 күн бұрын
A very good question sir and one which merits a proper response - Perhaps, if you permit, I will offer an elaborate response in a future video?
@mysteriousbigboy6744
26 күн бұрын
@@TheChapsGuide You, Sir Ash, are always a scholar and a Gentleman. Indeed, such matter should be elaborated with a video, yet it would have been demanding on my part to express that desire. A Person's Time, Energy and Presence are too valuable to have asked such a task of you, Sir. Much appreciated, your prompt reply and your desire to do so, if possible. I wish you a lovely weekend.
@philw4053
23 күн бұрын
Great advice as always Ash. This maybe slightly off topic but I really find myself getting quite upset by the (what I find to be) the obnoxious behaviour of individuals (usually sub 25 years old) playing content on their phones at full volume on public transport. No one else seems to mind so i have to start to wonder - is it just me!? Maybe I'm just getting old 😊?
@adrianwalker2833
23 күн бұрын
No, you're not getting old. You're just not wearing ear plugs or headphones - another of the so-called modern "achievements" 😌
@richierich7609
25 күн бұрын
I love all your videos, your demeanor and personality, and the fact that you're approaching English men's style and etiquette with a more country flair. Cheers.
@TheChapsGuide
25 күн бұрын
Glad you like them!
@RaoulKunz1
25 күн бұрын
A fine collection of suggestions! A couple of notes from me, I'm a bit over a decade your junior, so take with a grain of salt: Handshaking - I have stopped doing so when everybody stopped during the pandemic, but I continue to do the "stand up, klick heels, bow slightly" hyper "reactionary" routine, but of course I never scorn an offered hand, that would be dreadfully discourteous - and of course every greeting demands standing up. Language - oh I *do* agree in the strongest of terms! Granted, English is my second language only, L2 so to speak, but while this may excuse the occasional stumble into German grammar, the presence of the English language is thus that a constant refinement of ones language skills is strongly indicated and advisable. (my Latin though is abysmal, I *read* the language and my French is pathetic, so... yeah, not a language genius...) Short addendum: your command of language is as polished as a foreigner can asses! (Of course I might not teach it currently but I'm an English teacher by training.😇) Smile... nah... you offer a short flash of a smile *at most* here anyway before returning to "proper"... you know... the dour Germans.😅 Thanks for such an interesting little video and looking forwards to the next one! Best regards Raoul G. Kunz
@sidneanderson6657
24 күн бұрын
Ash, might you consider covering the reason gentleman should remove hats and sunglasses indoors in your next segment? I see SO many men strutting around indoors wearing hats, thinking that they are looking sophisticated. The lack of etiquette in this destroys the impression of class, no matter what they are wearing.
@salemslotandmore8278
25 күн бұрын
Thank You for the Video 😀
@ronaldpoppe3774
25 күн бұрын
Great advice Ash
@nairazone9838
26 күн бұрын
Yes you 💯 right Thanks
@PotsdamSenior
26 күн бұрын
There's a problem with closed (yes or no), and open questions in regards to politeness! "Could you tell me the way to the train station?" "Do you know what time it is?" - The only logical answers would he yes or no. I wonder if there is a way to be both polite and gramatically correct. Because, I think, expecting others to reply in bad grammar is not very "gentlemanly" 😉
@Karstu
26 күн бұрын
Great video, thank you. I wish more content like this. What do you think of the gesture of a man kissing womens hand (lips not actually touching)?
@TheChapsGuide
26 күн бұрын
A bit outdated and may be misconstrued in this woke, modern world. I would leave it at the handshake, unless there is a close relationship with the lady in question.
@jimc12091966
25 күн бұрын
Not sure about the non use of swearing, even Stephen Fry advocates it and states "the sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or of a lack of verbal interest is just fucking lunatic "
@robertbankers8003
25 күн бұрын
Ash, i have no seen you where a pin on your lapel several times but i cannot clearly view. Please share what it represents. Thankyou
@rager6981
26 күн бұрын
Late upload here for it
@brianmccarthy1322
26 күн бұрын
Consider yourself to be fortunate. You do not live in North America (Canada) with the obnoxious influence of our neighbours to the south. The regular use of the word "nother" drives me up the wall. People in public washrooms that believe the wash basins and soap are there as decoration. Passengers on cruise ships showing up at the dining room in the evening wearing shorts and t-shirts. (Thankfully this is where the cruise lines draw the line.) I believe that every gentleman or Chap should start the day with a shave, tooth brush, and if you still have hair a comb or brush. I used to keep worn clothes to wear while doing chores around the house or doing lawn work. Those days are gone. Tattered clothing becomes rags or goes into the recycling bin. As a retiree I do house and yard work in jeans or shorts and a polo shirt in warmer weather and will add a Barbour jacket on cooler days. If heading off to the shops a collard shirt is mandatory and I find that even when wearing that Barbour jacket a tie elevates the outfit even while wearing jeans. The old adage that a man should dress to fit the job he desires continues through retirement. I do not have to be the best dressed man but I don't have to be the worst dressed either.
@Rick-fz7tt
26 күн бұрын
Who in the world would want to live in Canada? 😮 Snobby French you can keep.
@TheChapsGuide
26 күн бұрын
Bravo sir!!!
@PotsdamSenior
26 күн бұрын
First of all: I love your country and (most of) the people I've met there! And congrats to your retierement. I'm not quite there yet, two more years to go 😢 Yes to the tie and Barbour (or any other casual) jacket! It's a slight hint of "Yes, I do care how I dress". With a sports coat or suit jacket, I'm a bit more likely to leave the tie at home if I dress casually. But if a lot of my outfit is casual to start with, like chinos or jeans, V-neck jumper, cardigan... a tie it is! Greetings from Germany
@michaelgibson4705
25 күн бұрын
I think we might have been twins separated at birth 😂agree with all your observations in your post
@mattmasiewicz1234
25 күн бұрын
I am doing my part to restore dignity south of your border
@Nicktuck333
23 күн бұрын
Why do so many people look away when they shake hands? I see it happe very often.
@darrenbeachy4567
26 күн бұрын
Cant disagree with anything!! During the pandemic the fist bump became popular. I greatly missed the handshake.
@l.r.quimson
26 күн бұрын
Exactly.
@lynn5447
26 күн бұрын
The better your conversation, the broader your vocabulary, the more you can think. You cannot think about something if you do not have the words to describe it. And when you are listening, it is best to just listen. Try to to spend half you effort thinking about you reply, what you are going to say next. And be aware if the person speaking wants advice or just to have you listen. If the latter, then take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth, as we say. Let all you do be done in love.
@w.adammandelbaum1805
24 күн бұрын
Listen twice as much more than you speak when talking with a mime. If you are convicted of a crime, you should end with a sentence. Never offer a clammy hand shake, offer an oyster handshake. Do not place your boxer shorts on your head while playing the xylophone on a trampoline. Never vacation in Bournemouth, and don't study French letters, dispose of them discretely. Dressing is always a factor when ordering a salad. Remember when in a restaurant, they also wait who stand and serve.
@nikolozkachakhidze2994
24 күн бұрын
Any advice to find affordable classical shoe shop with online market.
@TheChapsGuide
24 күн бұрын
Sadly good shoes are rarely affordable, but buying preowned can take the sting out of a purchase. Try the Loake 1880 range for a good, reasonably priced collection
@adrianwalker2833
23 күн бұрын
Try the second tier of Northampton shoemakers, like Barker, Sanders & Sanders, NPS Solovair, Wildsmith, Loake (1880), Grenson, Herring. As they are not so well known, they are not so sought after. Or try one of the Italian or Spanish brands.
@mickeymouse1398
25 күн бұрын
I gather you're Welsh. Good advice but being Welsh you can be forgiven for not being a bit more brief !
@Mamba0809
26 күн бұрын
I love your videos but you talk a little too much for me. I am more about visual when it comes to clothing.
@e-remes7029
26 күн бұрын
Top tips Ash, Top tips. I remember being "ambushed" by a handshake once, we both acknowledged it was rubbish and did it again properly. From thence forward i have always ensured i do not repeat my error. When it comes to language, i have, i believe a good command of English. Being steeped in the Military world my language at work can be "colourful" which i can turn off mostly. What grips me is people saying "Pacific" instead of Specific 🤬 On being the best dressed man in the room 🤔. Try and be the best/ most suitably dressed man in any situation; dinner, bbq, in the field, work or on the hill. Strive to be the best we can be. Looking forward to the next 5 points. 🫡
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