I think as LGBTQ+ people we develop an understanding of how toxic parent-child relationships can be in our culture from a pretty young age. Often I've felt much more accepted by strangers than my own family, especially people who are well-researched and interested in scientific and creative pursuits.
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
I think you are so right. And often that understanding gets internalized either as imposter syndrome or into believing the messages of heteronormativity or homophobia, because we know these things before we even had a chance to figure ourselves out. This may need to be a video topic ❤️❤️
@ashlazdanovich8396
Жыл бұрын
I tried to talk to my mom on the topic of religion the other day and the radio was on It was of course a Christian station basically saying that all lgbtq+ people shouldn’t exist. My mom made a comment I don’t remember. But I told her in response that those who are lgbtq+ are people too. She then almost shouted angrily at me “no their not!” And as someone who’s kept hidden that I am a(n) Non-Binary person, (I recently-about two months ago now, found that out about myself), and that hurt me. So…I was planning on telling her about it once I moved out. But now..I’m more terrified to do so.. She clearly won’t accept me and other than politics and religion, we have a very good relationship that o don’t want to destroy. But I also want to be honest with her too. But now, I fee that I cannot be honest with her and yet still have that relationship… I just don’t know what I should do about this situation…but I guess..once I move out, I can try to remain neutral…? I don’t know….
@CharleyHays
Жыл бұрын
First off, congratulations on finding out that you are non-binary… that is amazing. On the other hand, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this, especially when it should be a time to celebrate. Kelly said in one of her other videos that you can’t come out to yourself until you are ready to, I sincerely hope that you come to a place where your mom can put her current point of view aside accept the beautiful soul that you are. Wishing you all the best.
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
This is such a hard conversation. If you're looking for input (and if you aren't, I apologize) I think your first question to answer is What do YOU need to love your most authentic life? And second, what is the first/next step to getting there. Maybe once you move out you'll feel empowered to come out to her. Also, maybe you won't. Either way, YOU have the right to get the things you need into your life. So, what do you need? Now go get it, with the confidence of someone who deserves amazing things in their life. Bc you do 💛🧡💛
@matter1196
Жыл бұрын
This is exactly why my daughter did not come out to her mother in the first place. Fear of judgment and shame and rejection. It’s very sad, as a father, to watch their relationship dance around the issue rather than have a healthy dialogue. Rather than coming together and communicating, this part of my daughter is ignored by her mother. So, in a way her mother is rejecting part of her daughter. I accept my daughter for who she is completely. My beautiful bisexual wonderful creative and intelligent girl. Thank you for another excellent video. I really hope you continue to help those of us who are allies and those of us who are in the community and part of it understand how we can all come together and love one another better. Once again another excellent video.
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
I am so glad your daughter has you, because the fear of judgement from her mother can very easily turn into negative attitude toward self, among other things. But having a parent that shows you that you are loved unconditionally always increases a person's likelihood of being able to self actualize! 💛💛
@matter1196
Жыл бұрын
@@KellyRMinter thank you so much. I’m trying. With your help
@amymills9228
Жыл бұрын
I just started this video and I already want to say thank you for it.
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching! 💚💚
@CharleyHays
Жыл бұрын
I have not been through this yet. I do want to say the the person that wrote the letter how incredibly brave you are for having that conversation with your mom. You are my hero. Just remember that you are a strong, beautiful soul and that you are deserving of love and respect. Sending positive vibes your way.
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
Yes, so, so brave! 💙💙
@bradbowlamma3039
Жыл бұрын
my parents are exactly like this parent... probably worse... which is why I kept that part of my life hidden from them
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
Completely a valid and understandable decision on your part! 🧡🧡
@miamiggwilson4849
Жыл бұрын
This is exactly why I have not told my mom. My mom and I have a close relationship and I don't my sexuality to come in between our relationship, as well as the rest of my family. I think my mom would be more on the Bible and how it is not right and I don't want to hear ths t. I best myself up enough for it. I don't her to make it worse. I'm so glad you made this video. This has been a major struggle ever since I came out to my sister, who took it very well and accepts me for me.
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
I am so glad to hear your sister has been supportive. I am also so sorry that you have to hold space for your mom's beliefs but also have to know she may not be able to hold space for your truth. Thank you for watching! 💚💚
@blahco4tt
8 ай бұрын
I have a watched a number of your videos. I particularly appreciate this one. I've come out to some, but not my parents. I hate not doing that because it feels like I cannot share an important part of myself and it impedes conversations. It doesn't help that my mom has an (undiagnosed) personality disorder, which makes her wishwash between parent and child and Jekyl and Hyde. I also haven't felt the greatest support from one of my closer siblings, but I at least knew what I was getting into with that sibling. It's that much harder when my mom and I have a close (but increasingly unstable) relationship. You're the second YT therapist who has brought up the important question of "what do you want" from you parent (the other YTuber was on a different topic). Both of you have now made me think. My parents never really ask what I want or really listen. It's usually what they want. That's part of the problem and why I never thought to ask what I want from the relationship. Thank you for reminding us that it's not about them, but also helping us understand the type of responses we might get. It seems this is always attached to religious parents.
@KellyRMinter
8 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing part of your story with us! And thank you for watching, 💚💚
@littlemintleaf
Жыл бұрын
great video once again. slightly off topic, parents always say “i wish you would come to me if you want to talk”, but i think parental figures should reflect on *why* their children feel more comfortable coming out to/talking about sensitive topics to their friends instead of them
@KellyRMinter
Жыл бұрын
Good point! And, ask themselves why they are personally offended when their kids make decisions without thinking first of the parent. I mean, WHY would you want that for your kid, you know? 💜💜
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