Something that has helped me explain this concept to others (including my husband) is to realize just how small our child's world is. In comparison to what's on our plates (finances, health, news of violence and war, job security, dinner, cleaning the home, doing the laundry, planning vacations...), what our child knows is their toys, clothes, playground, utensils, and family. For them, that wrong cup is such a larger portion of their whole world. I think the closest any of us have come to understanding that feeling is March 2020 when everyone's routines were forced to change (though still not the exact the same because we can at least understand the why). But I remember distinctly a coworker absolutely losing his mind when he realized that his gym is closed because that was such a huge part of his routine and he just couldn't accept that deviation. And people were understanding of him - but why is it so hard for us to extend that same grace to our children?
@thecharitablewife
2 жыл бұрын
We laid to rest my child's very first como tomo bottle this weekend. It has been a rough few days trying to transition to cups. (understatement) LOL
@esthersalcove2650
2 жыл бұрын
About a year ago I shared in the comments about the fact that we were struggling to conceive, and now we're expecting! Now that there's this tiny human being on the way, your videos have even more weight on me, i hang on to every word, even saved a lot of the videos for future reference, to use as tools when moments arise where I will forget. I greatly appreciate every video you put out. The last few years, while waiting for our little miracle, I've learnt so much from you, it has been my school and inspiration ❤
@diary_of_a_sahm
2 жыл бұрын
Congrats!!
@Dana-mb1hd
2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations!!!
@almabackstrom5414
2 жыл бұрын
Bless you. I am so happy for you. This sounds like it was a tough journey. I'm so glad you are on the other side of it now. This is just beautiful. Congrats❤
@MariaandMontessori
2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 what phenomenal news!!
@brookekennel2636
2 жыл бұрын
Congratulations!
@Data90
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Ashley! This is SO helpful! My 3.5 year old is on the spectrum and I noticed when our routine is out of wack, she goes into a meltdown. So now I am trying to clear things out of the home and get a routine (not a strict one) just something small. Also while I watched this video, I went through the bottom two drawers in my kitchen that house her plates, cups, silverware, etc.. and cleaned it out.
@deemahdee
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you. I love your channel. It's helped me as a new dad
@haniyyahahmadbonvini1980
2 жыл бұрын
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “A place for everything and everything in its place!” It’s so rooted in my toddlers mind that she parrots it to ME when I’m disorderly (which is rare 😉) Absolute wealth of information with regards to this sensitive period!! I hope this reaches oodles of viewers bc it offers the best perspective and lens we see our children through. I love the evidence-based literature to support the strategies that foster a child’s sense of order. Recalibrating how we view our child’s development then finding avenues to support them is every parent’s ultimate struggle… but when we view through the Montessori lens, supporting our children suddenly becomes easier, more peaceful, and more fulfilling for the entire family. And THAT is amazing! Awesome content Ashley, as usual ❤️ you rock!
@_imgracie
2 жыл бұрын
I’m 30 and still feel like I’m in a sensitive period for order 😂 I very much like having a routine and predictability, I get frazzled with unexpected changes so I always try to take that into consideration when it comes to my kids.
@thecharitablewife
2 жыл бұрын
Heck, I've got you beat. lol
@tkj793
2 жыл бұрын
I know my sons (28 months) has the attention span and calm is in large part due to having order in our home! And also not interrupting his content ration and focus when he’s at work! Thanks Ashley
@matildasaunders6050
2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely love all your videos, they are so helpful, I’ve learnt so much. One thing I didn’t realise was that you grow and learn with your babies and you’ve definitely taught me that.
@taylorskyblue9413
2 жыл бұрын
Me and my son really needed this. Thank you so much, you're such a blessing for other mommies, Ashley! Love you!
@TheLucyHS
2 жыл бұрын
Love your videos. Your knowledge is light in this crazy road. Thanks for sharing.
@TheGreatAlbinoTV
2 жыл бұрын
Not even a parent, I find your content really soothing for the inner child, but wanted to jump and comment how much I love the B-roll you pick, it is so gorgeous and diverse, really beautiful work.
@RedScareClair
2 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to take a second and say I've started watching your videos regularly over the last week or so and you are great. I tend to find many female content creators (especially moms) to go on tangents frequently. You say on target and keep the information clear and easy to digest. I really appreciate that. (Not a dis to any tangent mom creators out there. It's just hard to listen to tangents when you are seeking specific pieces of information while in problem solving mode. I love a good tangent when not information seeking.)
@timac612
2 жыл бұрын
Very useful! Thank you
@bellebohler6408
2 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness. This all make sense 😭😭😭 thank you for the enlightenment. Such a mindset change.
@eyestotheskies
2 жыл бұрын
I'm actually quite glad that this wasn't as complicated as I thought it would be. We already do most of this!
@jessicaturrini7142
2 жыл бұрын
Beautiful video as always!! I learned so much from you and now Montessori is my lifestyle..
@harleymichelle9420
2 жыл бұрын
My youngest is almost 2. ALOT throws him off to a full on meltdown I've had to take him to the ER multiple times because when he has a melt down he bangs his forehead onto the floor before I can get to him fast enough. His pediatrician says "he's fine he will grow out of it." However I pushed for him to be seen by a specialist for behavior so we are waiting on that appointment. Since I've been a gentle Montessori parent for going on 4 years you have helped me through alot 💞
@AbstractMindsThinkAlike
Жыл бұрын
Praying for your Little One
@aminashafiq5803
2 жыл бұрын
Wow this also really helps understand children with special needs. I think this applies equally to them and goes way beyond childhood.
@lisap8800
2 жыл бұрын
We have accumulated too many toy trucks and he wants all of them all of the time! Need to work on decluttering but I want to do it in a way that is sensitive to him
@megansnyder13
2 жыл бұрын
I actually had my daughter help me with a toy rotation once. She saw some of the toys that were in storage that she wanted to play with so I asked her to pick some toys on her shelf that she was ok with me putting away so that she could get out the new ones. She had no problem pointing out some she was willing to put away so she could get the new ones.
@lynaesmith8136
Жыл бұрын
I am thankful I came across your channel! You are informative and clear!!!
@angeldarkblue
Жыл бұрын
I needed this Video Right now! Thank you!!!!
@happyheart9431
2 жыл бұрын
Million thanks
@Dana-mb1hd
2 жыл бұрын
Ashley your videos make my day thank you 💜🙏
@Knoimmas
2 жыл бұрын
I try to keep our daughter's space(s) neat and organized. However, it is hard work because both her parents are messy and she does see our mess. I try but sometimes I feel this order seen in Montessori homes would only work with parents who are organized and keep things tidy. I wonder if it benefits her at all because I feel she's being exposed to a double standard. Never seen anyone commenting about their messy homes here. I absolutely love your videos.
@kerstindaboul4836
2 жыл бұрын
You are not alone dear, the play space of or son is the most organized area in our home 😅😘 but I think it's ok, because the messy rooms are not as important to him 🤷♀️😁
@MariaandMontessori
2 жыл бұрын
I am somewhere in the middle. Definitely far from the neat and organized home that Ashely has, but not completely messy. My personal workspace has always been what I call "organized chaos" -it looks messy, but everything still has a place. I get this from my dad. Butmy mom is incredibly organized! And I've watched and observed her keep an orderly home my whole life, and while I still can't keep my workspace orderly, I DO have an easier time keeping our home in an organized manner. So the shared areas of our home that our daughter uses, while far from minimalist, are definitely neat and orderly, and everything has a place. She knows exactly where she can fins the coasters to mess them up! 😅 Her playroom, bedroom, and our kitchen are the places I focus on keeping as organized as possible because this is what she sees the most. And it does make a difference! If we had a busy weekend and the house is chaos, the day that we spend in that mess or getting everything organized again, she is certainly a more irritatable version of herself and more likely to just walk away from her own messes. But when the main spaces are organized, I noticed her trying to do the same with her personal space too.
@ronjab4586
2 жыл бұрын
This was a big issue for us when our daughter started showing interest in the kitchen and cleaning. She started telling me "what a mess" when the dishes piled up in the sink or the paper piles got higher on the dining table and when there were droplets on a mirror or window she started to say "so dirty" 😆 it was frustrating since I spent so much time on cleaning and tidying all the time. So something needed to change for us, our sytsems were not working. I asked myself why I was able to maintain the play-area without a problem but failed in other areas of our apartment because generally I would describe myself as an organized person. I found the answer thanks to the KZitem accounts clutterbug and minimal mom: inventory and organizing style were different in the play-area compared to the rest of our apartment. Usually as montessori inspired parents, we limit the options for our kids but usually not for ourselves. So we did some MAJOR decluttering. We are nowhere close to being minimal and do not intend to be but probably got rid of half of our things. What a huge change that made. Through clutterbug, I then found that the way I organize doesn't work for my husband and so I changed how we organize things until it was natural for us where everything has it's place. These changes made sure that cleaning, tidying up, etc all never takes more than 15 minutes and we are no longer messy ourselves as putting things away is now as easy as just leaving something out (and whenever life gets in the way, all it takes is 15 minutes). It all started to not have our daughter exposed to double standards but I am so happy with the changes - I have so much more time now with my toddler and baby. The place is clean, neat and I don't even need a tenth of the time that I used to.
@Knoimmas
2 жыл бұрын
@@ronjab4586 Thank you so much for the reply and the recommendations. My daughter LOVES to point and say dirty, mess and now she even says "clean it" or "wash them". It's hilarious but it does get under my skin because I do spend half the day cleaning and tidying up. Gotta do it together as a family for it to work I guess could be a problem
@butterflyrose4518
2 жыл бұрын
What a great video, thank you so much for your time to share this. You inspire me. I want to soon become a Waldorf teacher and love the Montessori education ❣️
@zorkaazmakova-ilieva4158
2 жыл бұрын
This came just in time! Thank you.
@jenniferfoster3470
2 жыл бұрын
Great video as always, thankyou! Not to take away from the fabulous information you presented to us, but your teeth are looking amazing Ashley! And really making me want to get invisalign done. Hope you guys are all feeling back to normal after being sick x
@grandma_d
2 жыл бұрын
Good evening Ashley. Thank you for a clear and understandable talk on sensitive periods. If i may ask please, if a child has a developmental delay, is there a rough correlation between physical years and development? Is it linear? I don’t know if that makes sense or not the way I’m asking. Also is there a way to foster the progression through a sensitive period, for order or any other? Not to hurry them through that, rather to help them to realize that like in your example about the pink or the green cup at the end of the day it’s still OK. I know you talk about the child’s time and that they do things in their own time, can a child be 13-14 years old and developmentally still be 3-4 yrs. Also is that sensitive period of order a similar concept that an autistic child might be struggling with if routines are not met? Or is the underlying process different? I hope it’s OK to have asked all this, I am going to reach out and see if I can get that book that you mentioned earlier in your post. Thank you Ashley for your time and sharing your knowledge and suggestions.
@Paige_Y
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video! I was wondering if you have any other videos on montessori sensitive periods - and if it's possible to organize them into a playlist. Thanks in advance! :)
@truthseeker1105
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Very good
@ericagonzalez9284
2 жыл бұрын
This was so helpful.
@nikkernacker1
2 жыл бұрын
Your videos are wonderful!!! Thank you for your advice😃😃😃
@divinityomine6935
Жыл бұрын
We have had a very traumatic year full of change and instability and I am so worried for my LO, hes going to be 6 months in a few days, any tips for how I can try to ease any stress he may be experiencing along with how to help add an air of order while experiencing a time of great instability. I just wasn't expecting to be hit with all this as soon as I'd gotten pregnant- I wanna make sure I'm doing my best for him in every area I can
@TheNerdyPengwin
2 жыл бұрын
HA speak for yourself all neat and tidy. Anyone else neurodivergent? Operating amongst the chaos is literally disabling, not just for kids. My husband has an even lower tolerance for clutter before he just starts purging his surroundings. I'm drawn to Montessori because it enables NDs to work through the disorganization and succeed outside of the box!
@autismenlightenment
2 жыл бұрын
We are an autistic family and when I'm not doing well I just need to get rid of everything....fortunately my 16 month old daughter starting to pick up on rutein and is enjoying putting things back where they belong. I have autism adhd and OCD so I need structure and consistency or I'm lost and disfunctional.
@sarahneplevrednav
2 жыл бұрын
We have a flow, a routine in our days since she is born. And it helps so much with everything. But it streses me more out than her when we are late for something or our routine is changed without our intend... she is chill and i feel bad ;p
@isabellaholder5086
2 жыл бұрын
Might I ask, does Mia have an updated Preschooler room, if so, can you please share a video of a room tour?
@llarsonvjc
2 жыл бұрын
It’s like you read my mind with this post! I came on here to look for this EXACT video and boom, you’ve uploaded it! Thank you for this! 👏🏻👏🏻
@anonymous-tu1wp
2 жыл бұрын
I think i now found the answer to my question..my 23 mos baby boy gets really upset if he parks his toy car and someone will touch or remove it there.it should be where he parked it. I always wondered why..then aha! I think it's his sense of order
@lovism6590
2 жыл бұрын
I often hear and read that it’s important to not let your child have a say in what’s for dinner. I don’t understand that. I often ask my 2yo say “do you want pasta or rice today” having a pasta dish and a rice dish in mind that I can cook. Am I doing my son a disservice by letting him have a say in this?
@lovism6590
2 жыл бұрын
Same thing for breakfast. I basically always ask him if he wants porridge or a sandwich.
@catinahat3347
2 жыл бұрын
Hi. I'm by no means knowledgeable on the subject, just using my own experience growing up (I don't have kids yet). I assume the problem is usually when asking the question as "what do you want for dinner?" because then they can pick some dish that you do not want to make or that wouldn't be appropriate and later refuse to eat whatever you serve. In that sense, your way of doing it seems great, limiting the options to 2 that you're ok with and letting your son make a decision as he also will later in life.
@jenniferbyrne4567
11 ай бұрын
If I didn’t do Montessori for my child when she was younger is it too late? She’s 8 now. Did we miss the sensitive periods to learn?
@dhruviification
2 жыл бұрын
Hey Ashley, i would like to know how to deal with a toddler who hits other children around for a toy or turn.
@vivianpolikar4446
2 жыл бұрын
My son was ill for a couple of weeks so we flexibilize on somethings, specially bad time and now it is being hard to come back to the regular routine. Any tips?
@prissy781
2 жыл бұрын
Great video on Sensitive Periods! Question though, what do you do when your child keeps messing up their room? I’ve removed toys and still she finds a way to mess up her room. I know I’m missing something here. I’ve sung the clean up song etc. Btw, she just turned 4 years old and I homeschool her.
@alexh4935
Жыл бұрын
Adjust your expectations to make them age appropriate. Assume the room will be messy until you facilitate cleaning it, and it won’t stress you out. Ashley has many videos about modeling behavior and participation in daily tasks (like tidying a room). But none of them will work if you are frustrated and angry at your kid for something that is totally developmentally appropriate.
@annkatrinstenzel1984
2 жыл бұрын
Any thoughts on how to deal with temper tantrums when things are inevitably different. My 16 month old's world falls apart when we put something into the dishwasher but we don't start it (because it is not full). Same with the washing machine. Or walking past the shower without it being bath time. I feel kind of sorry for him and explain that it is not time yet but of course, that concept of time or "fully loaded vs partially loaded" doesn't get to him yet ;-)
@s.buddelmeijer2091
Жыл бұрын
Hi, I just had to comment because I really feel for you! Around 16 months was the hardest for us too for similar reasons. But what you are doing now actually will start working eventually in my experience. What worked for our son was to keep explaining it to him why and eventually he started to see the patterns. Also letting him help us made a huge difference, it's like it made more sense to him once he started take part in the routine. Hope this helps!
@rays2802
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video Ashley . Please make a video on picky eaters. When I give my daughter 2 options like, if she wants to eat by herself or wants me to feed her, she always comes up with The third option : I won't eat. N then it's a struggle. Deviate her attention to something else and feed her. If some new thing makes her eat something , that definitely doesn't work next time or 2 days later. When she feels hungry, comes for breastmilk , n she's good for the next few hrs , so can't allow her to skip one meal so she can eat next well. Again I see that doctors are saying not to stop breastfeeding forcefully. Please advise
@ProdavackaDivu
2 жыл бұрын
I’m not a parent so I’m curious, isn’t breast milk a full meal? If a child only wants breast milk why force food? As far as food, a child will never starve themselves over not wanting a certain food; when they are actually hungry enough they will eat what is available
@megans204
2 жыл бұрын
@@ProdavackaDivu while nutritious, it’s digested rather quickly, so for toddlers, would be more of a snack than a meal!
@rays2802
2 жыл бұрын
@@ProdavackaDivu I'm glad to know how you look at it. I myself have no issue feeding her whenever she wants. But everyone else has pointed out that I should have stopped nursing her completely by now. She is 2 and half a year old and I see how Ashley's daughter make her own breakfast while mine has no interest in such food. She loves fruits though and snacks. But she hates main meals. That mostly contains all the vital nutrients
@ronjab4586
2 жыл бұрын
@@ProdavackaDivu this is a very dangerous and false sentiment. Kids with certain sensory issues will not eat and definitely starve themselves rather than eat what they don't want to. It's scary as they will likely start trying to eat non-food items or have their blood sugar drop so low that they fait. Kids not eating can be dangerous and needs to be discussed with a professional.
@11892rosa
2 жыл бұрын
Like another comment say, breastfeeding is like a snack if babies are still breastfeeding until your daughter's age. It does not supply the adequate nutrient intake for her age anymore. Her body will rely on real food to grow. That being said, I understand how hard it must be for you. My 3 year old will only eat certain foods and will literally gag and spit out at anything new we try to give her. We sometimes have to bribe her with watching cartoons while eating so she's not so focused on the food enough to refuse it, and will actually eat more while distracted with her tablet. It's gotten to the point where I have given up trying to give her what me and my husband eat because she just won't. Now, as long as she eats some nuggets and has some good days of eating I will myself to stop being so frustrated by it.
@leilei9102
2 жыл бұрын
Offer limited choices feels like 不立規矩不成方圓
@emmaverma6643
2 жыл бұрын
I'm just wondering that does this very strict daily routine truly support the sensitive period for order or does it at same time limit child's spontaneity and going with the flow so to say. Also making it NOT SUPPORTED to change schedules, change plans or just skip something totally if it doesn't feel right. So when they are adults, they will feel guilty when they actually skip something that doesn't feel right. Isn't it almost as violence to the life itself. That you don't feel it's right but you still have to do it? Why on Earth! I said a very strict routine in the beginning, even though many times Ashley is gladly saying that there is some time frame and just a sequence of events happening. But limited choices, every single day a same routine - doesn't it support a world-view where your life is controlled from outside and you have very little freedom over things? That there is a correct way of doing things and if you don't, then everything else will fall apart? Isn't this what the child is actually trying to learn? That if the iPad is taken of at the dinner table, she can still eat. Not that she can't and she is having a meltdown. Doesn't this routine-rotation actually support the idea of yes, if there is no order everything will be horrible and yet WE KNOW it's not true :D No, we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control our emotions to those events. In my perceptive things in life tend to happen in a natural order, anyway - so we don't have to make everything happen and produce all the time some perfect sequence of a routine. Forcing a routine on a young child is according to my point of view one of the most popular parenting advice. Still yet again I find so many loopholes in these scenarios that it makes me wonder.
@ronjab4586
2 жыл бұрын
I agree, flexibility is a very important thing to learn and be comfortable with. I think this is where my favorite Montessori slogan strikes again: follow the child. Some may strive in such a strict routine, others may not. There is no one way that works for every child. Our daughter is more distraught when her focus is disrupted or when she can't follow her mood than when a routine is not followed. A routine she knows will absolutely not make up or distract her from what she feels like/wants/needs. We had huge issues with tantrums and finally figured out that it was due to routines (which we only implemented due to the recommendations from everyone to do so to avoid tantrums - how ironic). Instead, she thrives when she understands what is happening and is able to follow her moods. So I make sure to tell her what we need to do next and she started doing the same (this way we both know what is happening next). This way in recent weeks we managed to go from 10+ intense tantrums per day to one or less (which are usually patience related). Just a couple of examples: we don't have set meal times but ask when she is hungry since she will eat much better this way. She asks when she wants a bath anytime during the day instead of a routine bath after dinner (since she started fighting that more and more). Instead of the nighttime routine she decides if she wants to play, learn, read or jump in the evening (we had hours of trying to get them to sleep while using a bedtime routine - that is completely over now and they sleep 90 minutes longer now in a 24 hour period, so amazing). I get a lot of criticism for that. The most frequent one is that I let our daughters rule and decide. I see it differently - my daughters learn to listen to their bodies and moods and follow what they need in order to be well fed, well rested and engaged, ready to explore the world. I noticed that our toddler daughter is more and more flexible now when things change or something cannot happen the way she wants. I used to give her the same cup all the time, now she just takes whichever cup and names the color. She used to throw a huge tantrum when it wasn't possible to go to the playground due to heavy rain but since she started to decide if and when we're going, she just accepts when it is not possible one day and will say "no no playground today - see you later playground". So yes, the routine made her think she knows what was coming and any tiny change caused the tantrums. Not having that strict routine helped her to be more flexible when she needs to be. But of course I am aware that one day they will go to school and before that day comes, they will need to learn to live with a stricter routine. But I hope that I can wait for that until they have more sense of time and engage in weekly activities to get that sense of schedule.
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