As i got older I realized I’m running out of time and if I wait for others to make me happy, it may never happen. I started doing things that I enjoy even if it means going to concerts by myself! And I love it!
@Belgriffinite
Ай бұрын
I get at least five pairs of tickets to events in the Seattle area every month and I hardly ever go because no one wants to go with me. Thanks to your comment I might start doing it anyway
@anderstermansen130
Ай бұрын
i dont remember i wrote this comment
@bgirl17
Ай бұрын
I've struggled with shyness and social anxiety my entire life...I'm currently rebuilding my social life after a move to a new city and one thing that helps me these days when I'm feeling overwhelmed in social situations is to quote two lines from an old Martina McBride song - "Now every time I start to feel like that, I roll my heart out like a welcome mat." Works every time.
@tedtalksrock
Ай бұрын
Beautiful! ❤
@lovamo6017
Ай бұрын
So applicable!
@stayroxy
Ай бұрын
omgosh you guys google matthew hussey c..r.e.d.i.t ca.r.d sc.a..m (periods added to avoid automatic algorithm deletion)
@marybruce76
Ай бұрын
Thank you, MH! It’s not so much about what others think of us, as it is how we make others feel about themselves.
@pikapoka17
Ай бұрын
Oh, how I love the ending - you will never go anywhere alone anymore. You will always have this incredible teammate, cheerleader with you and that - is you. ❤ I went to Ireland on my own two weeks ago and for the first time I felt comfortable travelling alone exactly because of that. Thank you for validation, Matt ❤
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
That's great... Bravo!! 🙏✨🎉
@stayroxy
Ай бұрын
omgosh you guys google matthew hussey c..r.e.d.i.t ca.r.d sc.a..m (periods added to avoid automatic algorithm deletion)
@osef119
Ай бұрын
I agree with the key takeaways, but I find this view too simplistic. Shyness (combined with shame and self-consciousness) is so deeply rooted in some individuals that it's extremely complicated to overcome this feeling through willpower alone. I think you first need to comfort and reassure your inner child, and then use the tactics shown in the video to take the leap.
@ShopgirlNY182
Ай бұрын
This is so true just the other night by encouraging another person while doing karaoke alone actually helped me be more confident in singing by myself.
@FranciscoCruz-xz2dw
Ай бұрын
Every human wants to feel accepted / valued, and when your friend told you "you're fun", thats what happened! Such a simple sentence.
@nancyrentas443
Ай бұрын
My husband divorced me because I didn’t like to go out especially to parties, but I would tell him to go. I am an introvert and now I am ok with that I don’t like parties❤
@ireefree2024
Ай бұрын
Wow, just wow. Why is that a reason for divorce?! I'm sure you're better without him. My husband and me don't like partying at all. But that wouldn't be a reason for divorce...
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
@@ireefree2024 There is probably much more to the story than she states. Couples usually don't get divorced over not wanting to go out... Just sayin'. 😳
@biffii5568
Ай бұрын
i'm not Mat's normal demographic, but this guy doesn't get enough credit.. half an hour of truly nuanced and profound advice right here.
@anastazjamalczyk7683
Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this message, Matthew It resonates with me in many ways, and I totally agree that actually in most of the cases this shyness, or social anxiety is actually us looking inward, which robs us of true connections and peace. I had this revelation today that whenever I focus my life on myself, in this unhealthy way, and just fulfilling my needs, it doesn't make me any more happy, but it makes me feel more restless and tired with myself. Great work, as always! ❤
@viiiRA_
Ай бұрын
Haven't started it yet, but if there's ever videos I need. This is probably one. I'm not social anxious, if anything I might be more assertive and fearless than I should be; even as a man. I've done, frankly, over a decade of mental health work so it's not fully a problem with self-love/acceptance. However, when it comes to women(that in interested in) and dating, I turn from a lion to a mouse.
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
You might want to try striking up conversation with random women (that you maybe have zero interest in) as a way to get more comfortable conversing. Good luck and be blessed! 🙏❤✝️
@ireefree2024
Ай бұрын
I was shy until my 30s. Couldn't even speak in a normal noice, always in a very calm way. I had than a depression because of other reasons and after therapy and lot's of anger management. I don't care anymore what people could think of me. It was like a switch. Today, I'm in the middle. I still don't like being in the spotlight but it's ok if I have to do a presentation. I'll do it and it's not the end of the world anymore. It was also the time I started to talk to men. Before that, impossible. Today, I'm happy married 😊
@cammichristensen6705
Ай бұрын
I love this so much! I’ve struggled a lot with shyness and social anxiety most of my life. Shifting out of a victim mindset and giving yourself more responsibility gives you more power.
@Passport2Pleasure
Ай бұрын
Exposure therapy, the cost-benefit analysis of an event being valuable to my goals, and adequate recovery time have been key in making progress on my post-Covid era accelerated social anxiety.
@amandayorke481
Ай бұрын
12:26 I totally get this. Due to some horrible events in my childhood, I became super shy. I was blamed for something no-one in their right mind should've blamed me for. Only at uni did I gain confidence & start to lose this fear. Even so, once, an old schoolmate & I were in the same bathroom at the theatre. I froze. Could not talk. Just stared at her. Sometimes l still allow people to get away with doing/saying unjust things to me. I have been swindled out of academic acknowledgement - had my work stolen - and have let people get away with it, without even trying to defend myself. I'm retired now. What can I say?? S**t happens. Fortunately I'm a lot more outgoing in other ways, though 😊
@djfreshmayne
Ай бұрын
Teared up listening to this, thank you, I felt a lot of this very strongly and I know I am far from being alone in this.
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
Excellent presentation, Matthew... Bravo! Fact is, until you truly love yourself, it will be very difficult to allow another person to genuinely love you! ✨
@moniqueteal7153
Ай бұрын
Finally .... something I already do and practice daily . I feel very understood through this video 🙌💯‼️
@shikshakotwal1193
Ай бұрын
Inner child healing is powerful! ❤
@adelinelefebvre6988
Ай бұрын
Thank you so, so much! 🙏😊
@carolinlovelifecoach
Ай бұрын
No pain no gain 😊
@liambraithewaite6415
Ай бұрын
But I then think about all the times I do put myself out there and its not reciprocated. It gets too hard.
@danielamondschein
Ай бұрын
then I would work on why your focus goes to people who don't reciprocate!
@sweatybabypowderhands843
Ай бұрын
Value the effort put in the intention not the results. life will start moving in the right direction.
@liambraithewaite6415
Ай бұрын
@@danielamondschein Its the environments. Most people dont reciprocate. They form their own cliques and anyone not within gets ignored. Happens especially at work but also at social functions. If everyone was open it would be easy, most are not. I agree that most people experience the social anxiety fears, but instead of being open, most insulate themselves prior to the event and anyone at the event who is unfortunate enough to be on their own can't make any connections. And with my position in life, I'm just not fortunate enough to have the right people around me. Im a young male whereas all the people I worked directly with are middle aged women. I worked back end while everyone else in the company was front. Or they're management which was slightly above me. There just isn't much to bridge the gaps. No one has any compassion for those on the outer, theyre just glad its not them. It becomes incredibly draining so you stop trying.
@deathdoulaalecia
Ай бұрын
Then those aren't your people. The ones that do will match your energy and you'll have an authentic relationship and connection with them. You won't find those ones overnight but you'll know they're high value (like you) when you do. Keep being you and keep putting yourself out there. ❤
@cecilang9721
Ай бұрын
How are you the only person working the back? And if that was true, what’s your plan to get to the front? Also why do you think just because you put yourself out there that people must respond or there’s something wrong? I agree with the comments that suggest you should figure out why you are approaching people who aren’t putting out the signal they might be receptive. Seems a kind of blindness on your part, doesn’t it? Kid, take charge of yourself and work harder to get to the front of the house. Everyone starts in the back usually. But not everyone stays there. Having a chip on your shoulder will automatically cause people to turn you away. It’s an energy thing.
@smokeytaboo1756
Ай бұрын
I move around a lot which means I'm often by myself. Since I know the feeling of being alone in a crowd where everyone knows each other, whenever I'm out and see someone by sitting alone, I go up to them. Sometimes it resulted in a new friend or some profound interaction, other times they probably thought I was hitting on them or they were just unfriendly. So I think I was doing what you described without realizing it
@tasleemlaila1478
Ай бұрын
I love this. I believe it's so true and can make such a big difference all around. Thanks for sharing this so eloquently. It's not an easy thing to get across, but you did it with a lot of clarity and insight. It's inspiring because it shows us that we've been giving up our power. But we can take our power back, and help empower others. This is now one of my favourite videos of yours. Very well thought through.
@lavaniya85
Ай бұрын
In all seriousness Matt after meeting you a few times you have always left me feeling 'seen' after our interactions. A few of us have all said this. We love you for it ❤❤ Mummy Pauline has brought you up so well. xx
@lovamo6017
Ай бұрын
Love this video, thanks for the reminder. I think about it this way, having been shy all my life: it's 100% ok to be shy, but if you want people to know you care, it's not ok to be withholding. I can at least smile. I've tried to live by that since I was little. Sometimes, I do better than others, even as an adult. Some settings will be hard. So then I am nice to myself about being shy. I like that you included social anxiety, too. That has me censoring myself, as you put it. I feel so bad if I feel like I lose control of my filter and say the wrong thing. But part of that is giving other people a little credit for not thinking the worst of you and being able to take in the whole you. And sometimes loosening your filter makes you more accessible and approachable.
@REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh
Ай бұрын
This is good. I likely have autism, so there’s a ton that go on behind the anxiety. I really used to be fully extroverted, and I feel like I’ve begun to retreat. And ihdk how to feel about it. But that’s really good to practice those!
@EfeBuyuran
Ай бұрын
i have a weird way of helping people. I used to be a little shy before realising most other people are even more than me. So I started picking up on these people in an agressive but not serious manner. After they have to argue with me for a while, all the ice is broken and they can communicate much more relaxed from then on. sometimes other introverts join in to protect them so it builds a connection between them as well. though manners are extremely important here to not come across as an actual jerk.
@laurenpatriciathomas3917
Ай бұрын
This one spoke directly to my shy soul 💜!
@Syluxsify
Ай бұрын
If you have autism like me this unfortunately doesn't work really. I can't read others emotions very well and if I try to make them feel better it either fails or I get misunderstood due to different communication styles. I always yearn to help others and to make them feel at home but I just can't reach them.
@effmltalks
Ай бұрын
Maybe don't worry so much about trying to help people. It can come off as an excuse to get close to people and needy, which can scare a lot of people away. If someone asks for help, that's a different story. Enjoy yourself and relax :)
@49kitkatbar
Ай бұрын
I love your generous heart and ability to see yourself and others so well. You have a unique gift and talent. I hope that a coach can help you find your niche and be able to be involved in a community need that allows you to help others the way you want to!
@Philphil2024
Ай бұрын
Juat a thank you for all your advice that are applicable on all genders and all sexualities! Keep up the great work Matthew!
@annap1171
Ай бұрын
Matthew has always looked good!
@Laura-ri8ro
Ай бұрын
Thanks Matthew. Great information. Have a wonderful day everyone 😊
@Myglowtips
Ай бұрын
As long as the music was good and I could dance, I was a happy little chappy. However, I got heart palpitations when the music stopped and I would need to go somewhere and talk to someone - horrible. I‘d always escape to the kitchen and do the dishes or sit quietly at the table while others were talking away in the next room. Or, I‘d escape through the back door and go home, which was a bit rude however, my only excuse for that is my hostess was always so busy that she barely noticed.
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
Your story and transparency is really refreshing! Be blessed! 🙏❤✨
@lovamo6017
Ай бұрын
Totally relate. I often end-up playing with the kids so I can avoid trying to wedge myself into a conversation with adults. Or the dishes thing! That's one of my go-to party strategies!
@tipo5775
29 күн бұрын
This video is a masterpiece....beautiful truths that came straight from the heart with very useful tips! Mes félicitations!
@49kitkatbar
Ай бұрын
Matthew, I agree; however, for us introverts who have developed efforts to be in a crowd and go out of our way to greet those around us and try to put them at ease and make a connection, over and over - without results -- it feels very defeating, and definitely exhausting. Something is wrong with our society today.
@helenjensen3729
Ай бұрын
You hit the nail on the head!
@ShopgirlNY182
Ай бұрын
I think I can speak for Audrey as well when I say I’m really glad you decided to go to that engagement party Matthew! ❤
@hadiza1
Ай бұрын
Good morning! That is such a cute young Matt pic! 💜
@soma-xj2gq
Ай бұрын
Welcome you Mr Matthew Hussey.
@GutsAndGall
Ай бұрын
Matthew, I hope your team read this. For those of us who are neurodivergent, having music in the background while you're talking can be very agitating and make it difficult to watch the video. I hope you'll reconsider this in the future. Thank you for considering this!
@S3verance
Ай бұрын
And for others, we can't watch the video if there isn't something else playing in the background 😂
@RubyHopkinson-x5t
Ай бұрын
Love the video, please consider a retreat in the UK! Or a show. I’m sure it would sell out!
@Ladymumma444
Ай бұрын
What omg 😦 wow you went from cute kid to Hollywood celebrity model type man ❤ gorgeous
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
I remember watching Matthew on his Entertainment Tonight segments each week and developing a big crush on him! 😍⭐
@SarahBaghri
Ай бұрын
This is for Me. Thank you so much ❤.
@ip3931
20 күн бұрын
I came here, to ask, as an almost 30 year old single woman whose never been in a relationship, whose never been called attractive, whose never had any romantic experiences at all if there's any hope or purpose. I wasn't expecting to laugh about you dancing to Dick Van Dyke songs. Good on you
@E_swi
Ай бұрын
I used to be really shy but I realized that it’s too hard to live that way and I would miss out on a lot of opportunities if I didn’t change.
@Anayr19
Ай бұрын
Please can we talk about flirting when you are dating someone 🙏. Thank you!! 😊
@catwalkster
Ай бұрын
Aww little shy , scrawny , boy Matthew. 😄 He's gone now :) . That picture is great :)
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
Quite the transformation, eh?! It should give awkward, shy guys out there some real hope... With God ALL things are possible! 🙏❤✝️
@catwalkster
Ай бұрын
@@4EverGr8ful1 Yes indeed. :) A very good example. 😺😺😺
@lolabear8349
Ай бұрын
I think you're really handsome as a young man I remember you off of plane Jane, I don't like manufactured people I like authentic 🙂🔥🔥
@rjflores438
Ай бұрын
If there is one thing as a man to get over shyness is exposure therapy. Talking to women thst you think are out of your league and you feel you are not good enough for is crucial for changing deeply ingrained unconscious beliefs.
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
Just talking to women in general (not necessarily out of a man's league) is beneficial to improve social skills and practice conversing, so when a woman they ARE interested in comes along, they'll be able to carry on a decent conversation. 😁
@khadijahambris2597
Ай бұрын
Keep up the good work
@priteshmistry3345
Ай бұрын
I feel like shyness and social anxiety is heavily penalised in men when dating. We come across as low confidence and low value. Moreover, it's particularly tricky when the expectation (burden) is on men to initiate and lead...
@lavaniya85
Ай бұрын
Baby Matthew ❤❤
@alice-hp7dh
Ай бұрын
Cuuute ☺️
@council.of.fluffies
Ай бұрын
Is that teen matthew in the thumbnail?! I thought he was making a video about pewdiepie for a second
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
Yep, that's our now handsome, confident Matthew... Quite the transformation, eh?! 😁😜
@chelseaclark-martin6357
Ай бұрын
What’s Matthew’s Myers Briggs personality type???
@Ahb2121
Ай бұрын
My guess is INFJ; he’s said before that he’s truly introverted and a romantic, but he presents extroverted (as he says in this video) which is a common INFJ thing. NF = romanticism and idealism. He seems to have a highly intuitive sense of people. J because he gets things done; if he were P, it would be less likely that he would be driven to achieve this level of career success (INFP’s are more dreamy writer/artist types, less career-driven). Lastly he loves to help and counsel people which is 100% INFJ.
@chelseaclark-martin6357
Ай бұрын
@@Ahb2121 I think you might be right! I wonder if he’ll tell us! Matthew, are you INFJ?
@danielamondschein
Ай бұрын
Doesn't matter, it's not scientific!
@An_Drea_Calling
Ай бұрын
Matthew, how do I even get a date without asking out huys first? And without online dating apps?
@rjflores438
Ай бұрын
Being shy and socially anxious is going to be worse for men when attempting to date, especially when you are younger, and us men know this. For women, many men she yojr shyness as disinterest but it will not hinder you from finding men that want to date you. The burden of being confident and charismatic is on the man, more so than for the woman.
@4EverGr8ful1
Ай бұрын
From a woman's POV, I'd much prefer a reserved guy who acts a bit socially awkward, over an arrogant, charismatic "player type" with a bunch of ridiculous, contrived pick-up lines... Authenticity is underrated! 😁🙏✨
@Adrian_B114
Ай бұрын
Watch David Bayer on impact theory if anyone wants a quick solution
@Kateryna_Shorts
Ай бұрын
I don't think so
@i_am_processing_
Ай бұрын
I’m a closed book - until I’m not.
@Myglowtips
Ай бұрын
Oh now you are blaming me for my shyness Mr Matthew Hussey? 😁😇
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