She said 10 to 14 right? I'm not insane right? 4 years of bullying and people expected him not to have strong feelings about Jack? Honestly, fuck both Jack and the fiance.
@spatan9835
Ай бұрын
Yeah, disgusting!
@warriorprincess7901
Ай бұрын
And OP
@AsherStoryTeller
Ай бұрын
You're not insane. Four years of bullying is a long time, and it's completely understandable that he has strong feelings about Jack. Jack and the fiancé's actions are inexcusable.
@znk0r
Ай бұрын
Wtf guys...that brother is trying to force the fiancé to have him as best man how does that make any sense to you guys? Jack of his own accord decided not to go to the wedding so the brother would be abble to attend and the brother is still not happy....he's acting like a spoiled brat. Also people change especially from early teens to young adult.
@anymous8407
Ай бұрын
@@znk0rare you the bully
@Anomalocaris738
Ай бұрын
Bullying has a long term and permanent impact. OP is absolutely ridiculous for even ASSOCIATING with his own brother's bully.
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
Exactly. All these people saying he should get over it have no idea the profound impact bullying has on an individual.
@AsherStoryTeller
Ай бұрын
Absolutely. Bullying can cause lasting trauma, and it's baffling that OP would even consider associating with his brother's tormentor. It's a betrayal of trust and shows a lack of empathy and support for his brother.
@chrisi308
4 күн бұрын
Not even just about bullying, straight up trauma changes your brain. Something silly for some people is the reason for suicide for others. The brother overreacted (by trying to force the husband to make him the best man), but just telling him to get over it and grow up is stupid af.
@annabordelon6663
Ай бұрын
Brother should skip the wedding on his own and skip a relationship with sister.
@RandomTrinidadian
Ай бұрын
In a few years time, OP is gonna be back on Reddit asking why they don't have a relationship with their brother. Funny how she is quick to believe Jack when he says he is "not that person anymore", but quick to dismiss her own brother feelings.
@Storymaker1316
Ай бұрын
Honestly, with how insecure her brother is and they’re demanding is it might be for the best
@RandomTrinidadian
Ай бұрын
@@Storymaker1316and also c9nsidering it the the fiance "friend" fault for making him.that way, it just might be. Then again, the brother might hqve done OP a favor in the long run. Because if someone is friends with a bully, are they really the kind of person you woukd want yo marry?
@artemislove2941
Ай бұрын
y’all know people can change from high school right.
@RandomTrinidadian
Ай бұрын
@@artemislove2941and unicorns are real. Seriously if you think a bully can change, then you just as nieve as OP
@RandomTrinidadian
Ай бұрын
@@artemislove2941what ever you say, OP
@ireniaks
Ай бұрын
She really is her father's daughter... Nature over nurture.
@liztewliztew
Ай бұрын
Sadly, this appears to be true...at least in this story.
@Solkard
Ай бұрын
Holy moley, looks like the inability to take “No” for an answer is genetic.
@theconfusedvampire
Ай бұрын
How a woman can do that to her mother is beyond me. A son being that ignorant of those fears I might see, but not a daughter.
@n00bitaww
Ай бұрын
@@theconfusedvampire clearly all of the men in OP's family and her ex SIL are more aware and considerate than the daughter. Unbelievable.
@omalleycaboose5937
Ай бұрын
A bully is an abuser. You dont befriend a family members abuser.
@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121
Ай бұрын
That’s a crazy statement. Anyone who bullied anyone else as kids are now responsible for “abuse”? 😂
@omalleycaboose5937
Ай бұрын
@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121 yes, absolutely.
@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121
Ай бұрын
@@omalleycaboose5937 Wild.
@Tuturial464
Ай бұрын
@@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121read a psychology textbook 101
@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121
Ай бұрын
@@Tuturial464 Lol so can you take an 8 year-old to court for bullying another child? 😂
@2xtreem4u
Ай бұрын
Jack is nice to everyone that isn't his target
@Alpha-Wolf11
Ай бұрын
The perfect description to every bully i have ever met
@chinaking918
Ай бұрын
The usual. They know how to pull the wool over ppl eyes.
@princessmarlena1359
Ай бұрын
Like all bullies.
@maggoteater2290
7 күн бұрын
I mean this was years after the bulling. People change
@MiraTheWarlock
Ай бұрын
There's a saying, "A friend of your tormentor is no friend of yours" A had a situation where a friend was being VERY hateful and bigoted to another friend...I cut the former out of my life. It's not about whether I COULD be friends with both, it's about whether or not I wanted to, and I didn't want to be that persons friend if that's how she treats my other friends. So the fact OPs fiance's friends with him at all, was already all the brother needed to know, he didn't need either them in his life. Edit: While it's nice Jack has grown and become a different person, the hurt's not going to magically go away, because HE has gotten better. Brothers petty for trying to get him out for the position, but hes not wrong for having a hatred of Jack
@RandomTrinidadian
Ай бұрын
This! Too many people think that saying "sorry" will magically erase the pain they caused.
@damnmolony
Ай бұрын
Yes, I think OP's brother wanted some answer from OP's fiancee that his presence was important to fiancee as much as Jack. But his friend-OP's fiancee, or even his own sister did not valued him. Really sad.
@Storymaker1316
Ай бұрын
@@damnmolony that’s unrealistic of him, Jack is essentially your brother to OP fiancé. It’s not a role he can simply step into and fill.
@raeishimura
Ай бұрын
Thank you! I swear, people don't seem to understand that "sorry" isn't some magic word that makes it all better. Sorry is just a word. An apology is just some words. Easily faked, easy to just say in order to make peace without ever actually meaning it. Jack is right. This was karma for his being a bully. In the end, it was the fact that jack was a bully that cost fiance his wedding with OP, and he needs to understand that.
@Catherine.Dorian.
Ай бұрын
@@Storymaker1316Agreed. I’m not entirely sure if this was really bullying or if the brother wouldn’t accept no for an answer and kept trying to force the two boys to be his friends. If Jack was bullying the brother for no reason that’s one thing, if the brother pestered them constantly and the bullying was them trying to get him to go away thats also different. The brother seems a bit like he feels entitled to the friendships he want even if they don’t want him
@Frightmarelordofthenightmares
Ай бұрын
Bullying can have a lasting effect on someone. In fact it can be forever. NEVER tell the victim to be the bigger person because its stupid and insensitive since your saying the villain is more better than the victim
@nehcrum
Ай бұрын
What if the victim then turns into the villain? What if the bully was himself was a victim? Where does it start and where does it end? Or is it nicer to just live in a black and white world where everyone fits into a niche and you don't have to worry about people and situations changing?
@Twilight24682
Ай бұрын
@Frightmarelordofthenightmares Well said I was bullied in high school and it still effects me to this day bully victims don't just move on and forgive
@MacerXGP
Ай бұрын
@@nehcrum "Won't somebody think of the bullies 😭😭😭"
@nehcrum
Ай бұрын
@@MacerXGP Won't somebody think of the victims? Because the victim, the brother, is the one working hard to exclude someone else from an important event. The exact same thing that they bully was accused of doing. So yeah, who is the bully and who is the victim?
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
@@nehcrum easy: the bully is the bully and the victim is the victim. You can't label the natural consequences of one's actions as 'bullying'. Of course he wouldn't want him around, he bullied him. You could argue about the cycles of abuse until you're blue in the face but the fact of the matter is that for years that guy bullied her brother, making him the bully and him the victim. Whether the bully was also a victim is irrelevant. In this case he was the bully and that's what matters here.
@Twist-The-Friendly-Hunter
Ай бұрын
1. Bullying for any length at time can have a effect... Bullying for YEARS can leave wounds that never heal... Telling a victim of bullying to grow up and move on is one of the most disgusting and disrespectful comments to make 2. OP is a bad sister and a terrible human overall. OP in a few years is going to come to the conclusion that she was a A hole and absolutely destroyed any respect/love between them. 3. I can understand where he is coming from as i was bullied from 11 to 18 with everything being swept under the rug by the school regardless of my parents trying to sort it. What did my brothers do? Did they get into a relationship with the bullies friend? Nope, they beat 7 bellsof crap outta him. The wounds I got emotionally are deep and may never heal, my family has a brain and a heart and know to not do dumb stuff like that sister. "If he ever apologised would you accept?" Question is laughable. No, I'd beat him black and blue for ruining my childhood and development stages. I apologise for going off, but i hate these stories where someone on the outside thinks they know better.
@Twilight24682
Ай бұрын
OP in story 1 is TA her brother was bullied by that man he was traumatised and OP wants him to forgive the person who bullied him OP doesn't know what it's like to be bullied bullying effects victims even later on in life and victims cannot forgive the bullies
@Tekirai
Ай бұрын
So basically OP is disregarding their brother’s feelings and telling him to move on? Pfft can’t wait for when OP asks why brother is radio silent in next post 😂😂😂
@Afrosamuri24
28 күн бұрын
Did you even listen to the story? They accommodated him by having the bully not come and he wanted to rub salt in the wounds and talk shit while asking to take the role of best man when he wasn’t even wanted for it.
@mineandmine4528
Ай бұрын
OP, do not complain if your brother wants nothing to do with you for expecting him to accept and forget what the bully did to him.
@lesleygreen273
Ай бұрын
2nd story your 2 sons and older daughter are wonderful, you should cherish them and your husband. Your second daughter is a cow and deserves all that has happened. You should not feel guilty about what your youngest daughter is going through, she has brought it all on herself. NTA
@fyoutube9410
Ай бұрын
Daughter needs to be disowned!
@05bastille
Ай бұрын
I was bullied for 7 years, different schools and different bullies, longest bully in one school was 3-4 years. If any of my siblings came telling me Safia is my bridesmaid i would say “ok, i accept that, but i will not attend because i don’t want that mental ache on me. And if you don’t want me to get a panic attack in the middle of the wedding and have dad drive me to the hospital, you will respect that. I love you, but I will not let you or anyone do this to me, i have managed to get that little respect for myself back, despite what she has done to me, and im not ready to lose it again.” If she wants to change it, great, if not, well… the moment she chose my bully to be in the wedding was already a choice for her over me, so i’m not going to be the one to force her to have me in there. That simple. On the other hand, if my fiance wanted to bring one of my little brothers bullies i would say no. I don’t care how much they changed. Their change is unimportant in light of my brother’s wellbeing and readiness. If he isn’t mentally ready, the bully could be the new found mother marry, it doesn’t matter for my brother as he is still healing from the bullying and the memories are fresh. And if fiance insists, he can go have his own wedding with the bully. Noone will force me to put my brother’s health second.
@nikkiwolfe8488
Ай бұрын
OP2 Being "romantic" with someone while they sleep is called rape. Married or not.
@sierrastanley3109
Ай бұрын
Actually it's called somnophilia
@cronchcrunch7287
Ай бұрын
@@sierrastanley3109it’s rape
@mylifewithautism3958
Ай бұрын
Agreed, only exception is if you agree to it beforehand, and even then I doubt this prick was even remotely that considerate
@nikkiwolfe8488
Ай бұрын
@@sierrastanley3109 in 2015 it happened toe with my s/o. My psychologist did not mince words....it was rape. The violation I felt from it made me not date ever again. He turned around and told me if I didn't want it to happen then I shouldn't have told him about my past. Referring to me putting my first rapist in jail at 14. He used my past to justify what he did to me. It was rape. I did not consent and was passed out on pain meds due to having a mastectomy 7 days earlier from breast cancer
@hughg.rection1421
Ай бұрын
@@sierrastanley3109 It only becomes that when the sleeping person gives consent beforehand. Otherwise, it's rape.
@dianecheney4141
Ай бұрын
If your fiancé has been part of Jacks life for that long there's a good chance your fiancé was in on it. Maybe help explain some of the torments
@vl5794
Ай бұрын
Story 1: Why even date the best friend of your brother's bully in the first place? Also this story is really weird, if i was the brother i would have cut contact with OP since i got to know that my brother in law would be best friends with my bully.
@Jrskeetpro
Ай бұрын
Shit like this isn’t actually too rare. Some people date their siblings best friends, which is worse than a bully’s best friend lol
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
@@Jrskeetprono its not
@Jrskeetpro
Ай бұрын
@@JustinAdamson270 yeah because ruining relationships with siblings/ best friends isn’t worse than some friend of your brother-in-law you potentially will never need to see again.
@yay29823
Ай бұрын
@@JrskeetproDating siblings' best friends is not even bad
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
@@Jrskeetpro they didn't ruin anything just because you want the brother to be the bad guy over a bridezilla
@uwetheiss970
Ай бұрын
It is not called "babysitting" if you look after your own kids! That is called parenting.
@EmmaLetsplay
Ай бұрын
Op is a terrible sister i would never marry my brother's bully best friend that's disgusting and weird also terrible i wouldn't be surprised if op comes back to the app and ask why doesn't her brother love and care about her anymore also didn't op say 10 from 14 that is 4 years also i was bullied when i was young child it wasn't that bad because i didn't care also they didn't bully me for 4 years i can see op's brother hasn't moved on because of how bad it was i'm feeling like op was leaving other things that bully did to her brother because 4 years he had to have done more then just teasing
@tenderizer7303
Ай бұрын
You can't tell someone who was tormented to grow up. YTA
@Twilight24682
Ай бұрын
I agree like OPs brother I was bullied and tormented and haven't got over it bully victims don't just get over what happened to them we don't just forgive those who bullied us
@glintspark7748
Ай бұрын
The Bully left the wedding & the guy tried to force himself as the new best man, & shittalked to bully to the Fiance for no reason after getting what he wants. The Brother is an AH & the OP is an AH, being bullied doesn't suddenly mean you can insert yourself into thing & shittalk your bully to people you know are close to him after they accomodate you
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
@@glintspark7748he didn't try to force himself just because Jack backed down stop blaming the brother for his sister's actions
@Tuturial464
Ай бұрын
@@glintspark7748don’t be stupid, they are all ah
@Otis56
Ай бұрын
@@glintspark7748shit talking your bully is a good thing?????It warns others about the kind of person they are,brother didn't try to force himself into the wedding he just wanted the bully out and himself in cause he couldn't bear to see his bully be so honoured at his SISTERS Wedding
@TemplarGamer56
Ай бұрын
Dude that daughter is evil .
@damnmolony
Ай бұрын
Story 1 - Dunno, I don't think Jack has changed much, and OP's fiancee doesn't seem to be different from Jack either. And OP is still very naive.
@clownthefunny6101
Ай бұрын
S1 OP is not a good person. He was ready to sweep years of abuse his brother went through under the rug to marry someone who is friends with the abuser. It is telling that he went to reddit to blame his brother so he would get support for being awful. At the end, his bully won and showed that he is still "better" then him
@chell807
Ай бұрын
OP is she not he.
@annabordelon6663
Ай бұрын
Let husband pay his bills, his car, his mortgage
@georgeprchal3924
Ай бұрын
A woman not a man.
@Jrskeetpro
Ай бұрын
@@chell807technically “he” can be used for in both instances. Yeah it doesn’t seem right, but historically it’s correct.
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
@@Jrskeetprono he cannot be used for both
@blue3532
Ай бұрын
Wow OP in the story 1 is AH. Just do NC. You just make your brother life more difficult.
@reneeharper84
Ай бұрын
S1- I don't like OP. S2- I don't like OP's daughter....holy crap she is absolutely horrible!!! I mean, OP did pretty much everything wrong, but that changes nothing about the fact that her daughter is awful. S3- her husband is terrible and at this point she probably would be better off leaving. ...ETA....holy hell just leave!! The fact that nothing is in your name makes it easier! But PLEASE gtfo...
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
Nothing in her name but you think she's better off a single mother just because she can't control her husband Nothing is hers if he buys everything
@ASmK9412
Ай бұрын
In the first story. I think there is a slight chance the brother wants to to one up the bully, but there is also the fact she is underplaying the bullys actions. Reminded of a story where a lad best female friend dated his bully and tried to get them to meet up, they ambushed him in a bar and bully who "changed" tried to grab him relized his victim wasn't small anymore and punched him out.
@Octoberdoomster1
Ай бұрын
It takes two people to make kids, if she’s going to be the sole care giver, she might as well be single.
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
She's not
@katesorenstam9427
29 күн бұрын
"I respect the bond he has with my fiance because they are really close, like brothers" Yeez, almost like the bond she dosen't want to have with her own, actuall, brother.
@MikeB-us5cg
Ай бұрын
There's going to be no relationship between her and her brother after this. This is going to destroy their relationship.
@misterb3577
Ай бұрын
Story 2: That daughter had no chance. Imagine being conceived as a result of SA, and then being raised by a family that treats you like a walking trauma scar. Hated and feared by her mother and then spoiled by a father figure who thought that superficial gifts could ever make up for the traumatic upbringing of being rejected by her mother for simply existing. Yeah, no. Not surprising that the daughter is so messed up in the head that she over-attaches to her sperm donor in a desperate act of finding acceptance. They should've given her up at birth. At least that would've given her a better chance of finding parents who could truly love her.
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
You can't blame parents for everything their children do theyre separate people stupid
@igncom1
Ай бұрын
1. Lots of issues there. OP is probably unwise to the whole situation. Her partner cancelling the wedding and backing out feels like there is more going on there then just an argument with Op's brother over the bestbully. Bestbully bowed out to cause as little drama as possible. And the brother is out of line for demanding to be the best man, sure I can understand the bitterness of a bully and even being a little giddy when they get pushed away, but it's not your wedding mate. That is all disintegrated makes me feel like there was more going on there that went unsaid. More violent bulling then was indicated (like if the partner was more connected to the bulling then was mentioned) or if there was more drama then that. For it to all break apart over that feels, premature.
@kirby-luvr
Ай бұрын
Brother needs therapy
@peeonthe3rdrail414
29 күн бұрын
Therapists are just informed broken people.
@develyntwocentshenderson5739
Ай бұрын
and he's on meds. wow, congratulations for spreading the genes around.
@TemplarGamer56
Ай бұрын
Thing is , the former bully if he was really sorry would give up being best man . The fiancé also should have allowed jack to be best man no questions asked. That would have been a way to give the olive branch .
@KatLaw-wp7wj
Ай бұрын
Can’t stand the op. She does not deserve her brother at all. Hope he never speaks to her again. I can’t finish this one
@Echo_9
Ай бұрын
wonder whats op excuse for not leaving that man sooner in 3rd story
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
People in abusive relationships turn the blinders on hardcore out of self preservation. It's usually due to ego. If they admit what's happening then it becomes real and they need that denial to keep going.
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
@@sweeety969she's not being abused just because she can't demand shit from him
@drifter139
13 күн бұрын
4 yrs of bullying. that kind of trauma does not just disappear and it really seems like OP is just as much of a bully as Jack since she basically said he was better than her brother at everything. honestly OP seems like she enjoys the company of bullies much more than being around her own brother. imagine if the roles were reversed and brother was marrying a woman who is friends with her bully. she would be ripping her hair out and having a meltdown and making the family choose sides
@andresibarra3473
Ай бұрын
I dont know about the first story because it feels weird, just complete enough to be able to have an opinion, we are told enough to think the brother is a brat because how he acted on the wedding, also that he is upset but were told general things about why he is upset wich helps in not seing jack on such a bad ligth and we are told that jack is diferen now but we dont have especifics on how he was before but because of that i would like to know what the brother side is ,the sister just doesn't have all the info , i mean this is coming from the perspective of someone that was okay with her brother bully in her weddings so the brother is going to apear as bit of a punk instead of a full on victim , jack had no interactions with the brother so we dont know if he actually changed or if he was saying the rigth things to the right people, but we know that the op and the ex fiance and a lot of people on the internet now think jack is actually a biger man than the brother (self fulfilling prophecy or jack usuall strategy i cant tell )and the brother is petty , and op called the bulling name calling and not playing with the brother but i dont think op mentioned if he had friends when he was being bullied so maybe he was being isolated and the name calling feels very dismissive when someone mock you with how much better they are than you is bound to affect your sense of self And we end up with history repeting itself in a sense,maybe op brother was a brat and jack was being a brat back to him maybe jack never change i dont know and i dont know if op knows either so mi judgment is NEI( not enough info)
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
I think the term used is INFO when there needs to be more info. On principle alone OP is the A for trying to bring her brother's bully to her wedding.
@geoffxander7970
Ай бұрын
@@sweeety969 Isn't OP TA also for suspending her fiance's wedding over her brother throwing a childish tantrum? Jack removed himself and even that wasn't good enough for brother. Brother should have been uninvited.
@JustinAdamson270
Ай бұрын
@@geoffxander7970you must be the bully
@Tuturial464
Ай бұрын
@@geoffxander7970let’s face it, this couple has a few screws loose
@tigrexkiller1548
21 күн бұрын
The axe forgets, the tree doesn't.
@dianecheney4141
Ай бұрын
Don't convince him. It's his pain and you can't tell him when he can stop feeling pain from it or trauma. Let him have his space. And remember your fiancés friend isn't going to be there for holidays or family events. Don't disrespect him
@failingartist3524
Ай бұрын
Dang op pick the bully next thing you know she hit hard times and op gonna wonder y bro not helping cause family
@waleefalrooh8
Ай бұрын
just look how op is trying to make her brother the villian of the story 😂
@bibi00722
6 күн бұрын
I get that the brother wasn't happy about Jack being there, but why should the groom choose him as his best man? They've known each other for only 4 years and still wants to impose himself as the best man?
@jaydas8976
Ай бұрын
Story 1: op is completely in the wrong, her brother has every right to be angry that op’s fiancé’s best man is the guy who bullied and tormented him in school. Bullying is extremely detrimental and it’s not something that you can just “get over” it’s cruel to tell someone that was tormented to just grow up. Op is absolutely ta. Op has no right to tell her brother to forgive the guy who bullied him. Honestly op should be questioning her relationship with her fiancé, because it’s a huge red flag that the fiancé is best friends with the guy who bullied OP’s brother. I am glad that Jack stepped down as best man, because he shouldn’t be. Also even if Jack has grown as a person, OP’s brother doesn’t have to forgive him. That being said, OP’s brother had no right to ask to be the best man, as that’s not his decision. That was honestly quite petty. Story 2: OP’s daughter is completely in the wrong, it’s really gross that she was trying to get her mother to reconcile with the man who violated her. Op should’ve told Luna the truth of how she was conceived a long time ago, because it only ended up hurting her in the end. Op should consider going nc with her daughter, because it’s clear that her daughter doesn’t care about the fact that her bio father violated her mother. I’m glad that OP’s other children supported her and called out Luna for supporting the man who violated op. I’m also glad that Luna’s fiancé called off the wedding, and I’m glad that Luna’s friends cut her off too, considering that Luna was in the wrong. Luna ruined it all by herself by insisting on having a relationship with her bio father who violated op.
@user-bi9dd5vg6k
Ай бұрын
Frankly, I’d be worried that your fiancé is such good friends with such an AH. He patently has fairly crappy skills in evaluating people, including you. People who bully in the way you imply are never good people when they grow up, their bullying is less overt but still appalling and still has an atrocious impact on their victims lives and mental health. It makes me wonder what your fiancé was like as a teenager - he cannot be oblivious to his friend’s behaviour and yet he still chose to maintain a relationship with him. I find it frightening that knowing what you know about your brother’s experiences you haven’t sat back to evaluate things. Your brother remains traumatised by his childhood events and you don’t really give a damn. Your brother will, justifiably, be alienated from both you and your partner - after all his bully will also be at most social occasions - and eventually you will end up with no relationship with him.
@jamesalexander8193
Ай бұрын
Story 1 sounds like their is a lot more she isn't telling or doesn't know. For all we know jack bullying wasn't just putting her brother down but keeping him down, like all the name calling and grouting not only damaged his confidence but made him give up on everything because why try when you'll just be put down. Did Jack spread rumours about him? Did he have a group of friends that followed him and bullied him too? Did Jack manipulate his friends into abandoning him? It just seems like op's brother is way to angry for just simple name calling. And why is she so eager to take Jack's I've changed Story but not care about her own brother? And did he try and apologise? She says how they were at the same party but did he try and talk to him? And the contacting him through social media why would he even except his bullies friend request they aren't friends. Op brother clearly feels like his bully has won again in something that shouldn't be a game
@mello9074
Ай бұрын
I mean, I can't blame OP for believing the past bully is a changed man, especially after he was willing to bow out for the sake of the wedding. And if the bullying was worse than what we or OP knows, I just cant see why the brother wouldn't say something about it at this point. I understand it could be uncomfortable and traumatic, but that would add alot of context to his seemingly selfish actions. But without more context, to be completely honest, the brother sounds like a bit of an ass. I think if more was done to him, he should say something. If nothing more than what we know was done, then he's just being a bit of a bitter ass *edit - formatting*
@jamesalexander8193
Ай бұрын
@@mello9074 it's hard for some people to admit how bad things are or were. A friend of my sister who is 9 didn't admit to her being bullied and it was bad, she was being told for a long while to kill herself and ways to do it, and from what i was told the messages were detailed and graphic. She was that messed up by it all she wouldn't even tell her parents, her mum had to take her phone off her and find it that way. OP's brother could be down playing it all because of how traumatised he is. Plus the bully doesn't really make an effort to show he has changed from what op wrote, just a I would if I could but he won't add me on Facebook so guess I can't. They were at the party together and I'm guessing they have had a few other encounters involving op, but that is a guess.
@bentonrector2641
28 күн бұрын
But by end of story your brother reminds me of the dungeon master from the benchwarmers 😂😂😂😂
@HeoBaby24
Ай бұрын
reading the comments on the post kinda pisses me off. bec they're trying to downplay and act like jack is some saint for "being the bigger person" or whatever acting like bullying doesn't have lasting effects on someone especially when they're being forced to interact with they're abuser. and that they should "get over it" what a load of bullshit. but in this case i think the brother is kinda going to far with this but idk that's just me.
@lindah3803
Ай бұрын
4 years of torment from Jack and his buddies isn't something that you just get over. People saying that Jack didn't even apologize. In situations like this, an apology means NOTHING. OP doesn't give a crap about her brother. She was perfectly fine with Jack being in her home or hanging out with him and her ex. OP's no better than Jack.
@HeoBaby24
Ай бұрын
@@lindah3803 okay that's fair
@Storymaker1316
Ай бұрын
@@lindah3803 because Jack is OP’s husband’s friend. Not hers. The only real solution solution in your terms is for them to break up
@nehcrum
Ай бұрын
Why is everyone focusing so hard on the word "bullying" rather than on the actions that it consisted of? In this case it was name-calling and refusing to play with someone, in their pre-teen years. Where that sort of thing is extremely commonplace. But no, everyone seems to think the bully in this case physically tormented and tortured the brother, rather than them just being a bunch of pre-teens not wanting to play with someone (and if you claim you never did any name-calling when you were at that age, then I got some names to call you, chief among them being liar).
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
@@nehcrum stop making excuses for the bully and trying to pull the "we are all the same" card. You know that it's a false equivalence. There's no bullying quota he has to reach for it to count. It just does.
@dianecheney4141
Ай бұрын
Nope your daughter is depressed because of her actions. You were just the bystander
@Yuri13Sao
28 күн бұрын
7:19 4 years of bullying is fake crazy…how did you not understand why he didn’t like the guy?
@amyr8277
Ай бұрын
I will skip the wedding too.
@develyntwocentshenderson5739
Ай бұрын
#3. of course you are trapped.l the balls and chains are also called kids. go sleep in another bedroom, he doesn't 'get any'. you don't need him chaining you further.
@banespeace9079
Ай бұрын
Simple answer he can just not come never okay imo to try to control others like this. 6:18 the brother is just as toxic and needs freaking therapy very immature.
@faith3003
Ай бұрын
Story 1- i think op brother really liked the fiance and wanted to become a part of his family but when he got to know about jack his trauma kicked in as now one more important part of his life will be snatched out off his life as the brother know that if there is jack people will hate him(trauma). And belittle him, he just wanted his family to be on his side . Ps-now his trauma will come back as his family (sister brother in law) chose jack over him...Again .
@virtualatheist
2 күн бұрын
Story 1: OP is gong to spend the rest of her life wondering why her brother wants FA to do with her.
@michaelmaffei3988
Ай бұрын
U r an ah . U dont move on ftom ah bullies . U need to stop your bs u gonna lose your brother.
@MisterH1992
28 күн бұрын
Mfers who never been bullied in their lives got a whole lot of nerve to tell others to get over it. That's like telling a rape victim to get over it. That's how stupid people sound. While her brother should move on just so he can live his life in peace, she should have considered her brother's feelings because those trauma won't go away easily. Put yourself in their shoe. It really changes a lot when you live through the experience.
@MisterH1992
28 күн бұрын
The fact that her fiancee is associated with a bully should have been a massive red flag. I get that people change, but it should have been in questioning. If you were marrying someone who is friends with a sex offender, wouldn't you reevaluate the person you are marrying? This should apply to everything. Observe how your partner treats others and the people they associate with. It gives a much better angle who they are gonna deal with.
@ObliviousYoshi
Ай бұрын
Bullying is horrible and really affects people mentally. I really feel bad for the brother he clearly isnt well due to the trauma. But he really should've not shit talked jack to the fiance like that...but i so understand and id do the same its not easy to forgive your bullies.
@warlordhax5995
Ай бұрын
Story 3 is fkn wild
@bentonrector2641
28 күн бұрын
Just name-calling and exclusion... But the brother can't confront dude without breaking down... I call cap
@FogJWrestling
Ай бұрын
People should really be more honest with their kids. If 2nd story OP would have been honest about how her daughter was conceived, she may have never even spoken to her biological dad. Although daughter is still a POS for many reasons, so I could be wrong. But parents often think they’re “protecting” their kids by not telling them the truth, but all they’re doing is demonstrating that they’re untrustworthy once the kids find out the truth.
@zamielcaratos76
Ай бұрын
So jack came back changed, but didnt even think to go and apologize for his past actions? Also the years of bullying caused an inferiority complex.
@Seren1ty_Streams
Ай бұрын
When I saw the title I already knew what this is and I won’t watch it because it’s pointless🤦🏻♂️
@develyntwocentshenderson5739
Ай бұрын
boy op just can't let it go.
@melodyyoung9640
Ай бұрын
Usually I would defend the person being bullied, but he sounds bratty. Hard to tell with these stories but not being as good at things is not the same as being bullied.
@behiyepalo2985
Ай бұрын
My girl, all you need is a hit man now
@develyntwocentshenderson5739
Ай бұрын
wow, and he pulled this before. and you keep falling for it. really saw you coming long ago
@haydenknight3700
Ай бұрын
Ok story 3. She’s 25 married to m 39 and they have been togethor for 10 years. What?!!!!!
@HauntedGalMars
Ай бұрын
I know bullying is a touchy subject... but something sounds off... when he had the freedom to speak... I expected to hear years of being beaten after school... mercilessly mocked for being fat... paying girls to pretend to like him then getting them to laugh at him... spreading rumors at school to make his life hell... But it was "he teased me cause he was smarter and buffer" Hell, that's a tuesday among most siblings... I get no bullying is okay... but... come on. And then when the guy decides to step up and says, "I'll apologize"... it's not good enough. When he steps down and says "I won't attend the wedding... let this be about the two of you and family. Let her have her brother there" He immediately starts bashing the guy to his best friend's face and demands to be made best man. It's like... I'm anti-bully, but something smells off about this. Like, you get the guy to not even attend the wedding, and have the gall to raise tensions even more by bashing him to his best friend's face and then tell him you want him to make you the best man? That's not normal and that goes beyond "bullying trauma" sorry.
@freakboy220
Ай бұрын
OP is most likely downplaying it by leaving stuff out to make herself and her fiance look better and her brother seem petty. We won't really know unless we get the brothers side of the story.
@liztewliztew
Ай бұрын
@@freakboy220 True, but even without the brother's side of the story, does the brother get to decide on who should be the best man or runner up best man or is that a decision that is made by the groom?
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
@@liztewliztew the brother was his friend too and being close to both of them it makes sense why he thinks he should have a spot on that roster and not just some pity role. It seems like his trigger was being snubbed while his bully got to be best man so now he wants them to make up for it by including him in the wedding party and excluding his bully who used to do this exact type of shit to him.
@Only1199
Ай бұрын
@@sweeety969doesn’t matter if he was his friend as well, the groom still decides who gets to be his best man not the brother, he ceased being a victim after getting Jack to step down from the wedding.
@LocksAndChains
Ай бұрын
@@liztewliztew No, but I can’t say I care. The OP and the fiancé are tools and their stress amuses me.
@Ravenishish
Ай бұрын
Honestly, for story one there's not enough information. Bullies can (and often do) change and it sounds like Jack was willing to miss the wedding of his best friend as a consequence of his actions. This does not excuse the brother insisting on being the best man. You do not choose someone else's best man...ever.
@liztewliztew
Ай бұрын
This is what I'm saying! It is one thing for Jack to bow out for the sake of peace and harmony with the knowledge that is younger self led to these modern day issues. With that said, OP's brother is NOT the fiancé's best friend/long-time friend. He doesn't get to automatically become best man just because Jack is out. What if fiancé had originally chosen someone else instead of Jack OR he chose another longtime friend to replace Jack. Just like, the fiancé doesn't automatically get to choose who walks down the isle with the bride, brother doesn't get to decide on who gets to be the best man.
@jasonwilson6062
27 күн бұрын
2nd story daughter is a selfish narcissist
@markdonnelly1913
Ай бұрын
Why would OPs brother think he would be best man for his sister's fiance? Surely that would be a choice of the Groom. If this dynamic is indeed factual, then OPs later husband would likely have his best friend in his life a lot. That means that OP can expect that the brother will not attend gatherings when Jack is there. There will always be tension.
@anerexicpig720
12 күн бұрын
Can def tell all the people in the comments spend a lot of time on Reddit. Grow up
@rubymeaddle
Ай бұрын
OP 2 was 15 when her relationship began with a 22 year old husband
@benjie128
Ай бұрын
While I do empathize with the brother for being bullied, he's not entitled to be best man. The choice of best man and groomsmen should reside with the groom. The brother isn't being replaced, as it wasn't his role. He might be offered a role as groomsman as a courtesy or OP could offer him a role elsewhere. If I got married it wouldnt be assumed my brother is automatically best man. And after the update, I could totally understand if the fiance leaves OP, and if that happens there will be a rift in the family bc the brother felt entitled to the best man position. The bully listened and gracefully bowed out, which wouldn't endear the fiance to the brother. But the the brother takes out his displaced anger on the fiance, calling fiance names, and demands the best man roll. Brother wouldn't even be a groomsman at that point.
@Only1199
Ай бұрын
Jack is an ah for not attempting to apologise when the two of them were at the same party that time. OP’s brother is an ah for his entitled attitude, he got the bully to step down, that should have been enough, he isn’t owed being a best man. OP and her fiancé are ah’s for their behaviour throughout this.
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
It's not entitlement if he thinks he's good enough friends with him to warrant getting that position, and from the sounds of it he is, having spent time with him independently and even gone on fishing trips with him. That's not entitlement. Entitlement is expecting someone to get over their trauma to make you happy and not cause conflicts for you. Entitlement is expecting everyone to be cool with you being the best man at the wedding of the sister of the guy you bullied.
@Only1199
Ай бұрын
@@sweeety969It’s absolutely entitlement, he got the guy to step down from the wedding, basically gloated about it, then asked to be the best man and depending on who said harsh words first had a fight with the fiancé over the role, going on a fishing trip and spending time with the groom still doesn’t warrant being the best man, that’s up to the groom who he wants as the best man, it’s entitlement when he got what he wanted with the removal of Jack and then having the cheek to ask to be best man.
@christianworcester6851
Ай бұрын
Eh gotta agree with op, brother needs grow a pair and get over it, you cant let your bullys control you.
@southernflight5078
Ай бұрын
This would be the one time where I feel like bro needed to just go through the motions of dealing with Jack at the wedding. There have been other posts on reddit of far worse bullies. And 1 OP even let her high school / college bully marry her brother. And she could've thrown a stink about the girl having literally destroyed her high school life and attempting it again in college.
@princessmarlena1359
Ай бұрын
Everyone sucks here: Jack bullied someone. Not okay. No excuses. He did own up to it, though partly because he was under scrutiny when called out for it. The brother. He’s becoming one of those bullying victims that behaves like a bully themselves. Not cool. The OP trivialized her brother’s past misery, acted like he needed to “get over it”, clearly she’s led a charmed enough life to have no empathy for bullying victims, having never been through it herself.
@peshivirginflower7
Ай бұрын
Op nta thier grown now. It was wen they eere 10/14?? Jack was trying to apologize. Ops bro needs to grow up.
@Jargonecius
Ай бұрын
The deadbeat husband really sounds like he has a serious case of depression. Have been at that level before. Even things you used to enjoy being you no sense of happiness. When Covid hit I laughed because my depression gets so severe that I can't taste anything, so welcome to the club. You just get caught in a funk where you think x will make me happy and it does nothing. He needs therapy.
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
Depression doesn't make you rape your wife
@Vipershadow1
Ай бұрын
Personally I can’t say I like the op actions in the first story
@rahovartiv3464
Ай бұрын
Bruh...the title alone shows me that your the AH.
@jackieogden7103
27 күн бұрын
From the way that the OP describes it, the bullying was pretty low grade (I have certainly had worse - if the brother is so triggered from this level of bullying he needs therapy). Why on earth does OP's brother think he will be her fiance's best man? This is entirely the fiances call, just as the fiance has no input on her bridesmaids. The OP's brother is being a drama queen and in the later comments from OP he sounds extremely manipulative, and fixated on the fiance. I was impressed with Jack's mature attitude, but disappointed that the behaviour has potentially wrecked OP's engagement.
@mattfischer7140
Ай бұрын
I can’t believe I’m saying this, considering I was bullied as a kid, but the brothers being an ass. Maybe everyone sucks, but he just broke up his sister’s relationship. 🤦♂️
@saravananrs6563
Ай бұрын
4 year bullying is not easy....the story is from sister point of view ...from her word itself your understand put jack as Saint......
@ShiNijuuAKL
Ай бұрын
For a victim of bullying you are pretty easy to get tricked by a story clearly written by a person who is fine marrying someone who is friend with their's brother bully. OP supports bullying, that's the reality, ofc she would relate the story in a way to make her brother look bad
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
They called off the wedding, they didn't break up, and if they really want to pick a bully over family so bad then maybe they don't deserve to get married.
@MacerXGP
Ай бұрын
@@mattfischer7140 She's a tratior and got what she earned.
@Only1199
Ай бұрын
@@sweeety969So they’re and she is just supposed to let bro dictate their lives and wedding? Bro isn’t a saint, he stopped being the victim after he got Jack to step down from the wedding. They all suck in that story for various their various actions.
@dianecheney4141
Ай бұрын
Second story, you are not the main character in this story. This is your daughters mess up. She had the typical kid wanting her family together regardless of the consequences and she doesn't like them. You have to let her be responsible
@emperorconstantinexipalaio4121
Ай бұрын
Sorry to be the hot take here but lil bro is a bit of a prick. I sympathized with him till he had the audacity to ask to be the best man. It wasn’t even his wedding and they were accommodating him and he chose to be an ass.
@brookepeterson3492
Ай бұрын
Someone with some brain cells. That be like me say I'm going to the maid of honor to my brother gf over her friend who has been in her life over half of it.
@Iamonyoutubetoday
Ай бұрын
1st story response: Tbh your brother needs to grow up and fix himself. It sucks that he was bullied, but he’s a grown man now and expecting everyone around him to rearrange their life to make exceptions for his issues that he refuses to fix wont cut it. The simple fact that your fiancé and his chosen best man were willing to make concessions for your brother’s feelings shows that they both have better character than your brother. On top of that, he was extremely petty and disrespectful to talk crap about Jack to your fiancé, knowing how close they are and the sacrifice they may just to make him happy. Your brother is the selfish one and if he keeps this mentality and behavior people will stop dealing with him because it’s just too much of a hassle. Seems like he is just insecure and jealous because his former bully got a position he thought he deserved. And your fiancé will probably never feel close to him after this.
@Iamonyoutubetoday
Ай бұрын
Imagine if everyone were like your brother and held onto grudges from middle school forever and expected the world to adjust for them. He expected to do and give nothing in return, but your wedding is literally canceled because of his BS. I would have kept my wedding, if he hates Jack more than he loves you that’s his problem
@jackchop1576
25 күн бұрын
"You people need to rise above the hate!"
@huh5950
Ай бұрын
Nah Im sorry but the brother is entitled to feel stromgly against Jack because you cabt exactly skip over that. Its a sh*tty situation but the brother is indeed the victim and they are all sweeping it under the rug and the brother has been in a room with Jack before meaning he was already enduring for the sister. Is what he does right? Nah, he needs therapy because he does need to get over it, but its nore of an unavoidable situation than something the brother caused
@merykhan97
Ай бұрын
4 years of bullying is not something people JUST forget. But your fiancé has the right to chose his best man. Your brother has no right to ask for that position.
@Tuturial464
Ай бұрын
That fiancé is a dirtbag for not condoning his friends actions
@billcutting2681
Ай бұрын
lol brother sounds like a punk this ain’t his event
@geoffxander7970
Ай бұрын
OP1 is TA. Groom gets to choose the Best Man - it's his day too. Who the hell is the brother to get any say over it, much less demand to be BM? Grow the hell up. The wedding is about the married couple, not the feelings of self-centered relatives. Brother should have graciously uninvited himself, like Jack did, rather than make a scene. Fiance would be better off without OP who continues to defer to her whiny brother over him. She's not ready. And the bullying was "name calling and being excluded"? Seriously, THAT's the trauma he's willing to torpedo his sister's wedding over ten years later? Read between the lines - he's insufferable. The right call was to exclude him if he can't get with the program. Bullies like the brother only have the power you give them.
@hanmitch457
Ай бұрын
Nahh it way more than exclusion and name calling, the sister/OP ain't giving all the facts because 4 years of bullying is pretty serious and a lot of messed up things can happen in that time frame ....
@okbye9
Ай бұрын
The best man is the groom’s choice. Make your brother your man of honor or something important. I see your brother’s point but it’s not his day, it’s your’s and your husband’s. Brother really needs to meet with Jack and get over it. I was bullied like crazy because I was a fat kid but not by one particular person. I know how deep it cuts. You have to let it go though, for your own peace of mind. Hating someone only hurts you, they don’t care if you hate them.
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
Lol no one dictates when someone is to "get over" bullying and even if he was the maid of honour that would be catastrophic because his best man would still be the bully. It just boils down to whether or not they're willing to sacrifice their relationship with the brother and his presence at the wedding for his bully or if the bridegroom have grown a spine and a conscience and decided to cut off the brother's bully, ideally permanently.
@develyntwocentshenderson5739
Ай бұрын
#3. op, haven't you ever heard of BC? cheaper than a kid. kids only add to stress, not lower it. #3 was a total mistake. why didn't you see this coming? you shouuld have doubled up on the bc. and tell your man baby to leave
@Spacemanct
Ай бұрын
2nd story your daughter is a bad person. Also you dont want random people knowing your business? Lets post my story on the internet then.
@ahraranwar3227
Ай бұрын
It's anonymous though
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
The daughter isn't really that bad, she just was fed half truths for most of her life and now doesn't know what to believe. Trying to force her mom to face her assaulter is abhorrent. Not arguing with that. It's likely that it hadn't all sunk in yet though and that because she had a relationship with her bio dad she gave him the benefit of the doubt. He wasn't just some monster who hurt her mom, he was this guy she knew and trusted so there was probably a lot of cognitive dissonance. Ideally the mom should have told her the truth to begin with and when she had all the info and counselling and help, then she should have made a decision about meeting her biological father but instead she told her a half lie and let her bond and get attached to him before biting the bullet and speaking up.
@mshaw7560
Ай бұрын
How do we know the name calling wasn't mutual? It sounds like OPs brother was jealous of Jack being better than him.
@sweeety969
Ай бұрын
How do we know it was just name-calling? Sounds like Jack was jealous of OP's brother and wanted to make his life hell and now maybe he's trying to do it again but subtly for all we know.
@chromonose
Ай бұрын
WTF
@flamelily2086
Ай бұрын
Story 1 The brother needs to get over bullying that happened in childhood by children! From what OP said, the alleged "bullying" consisted mainly of name-calling. All children indulge in name calling from time to time, but when we grow up, we get over it. OP's brother has always been envious of Jack, and his behaviour has proved he thought he was entitled to the best man position. The brother needs to grow up. Story 2 OP should have told her daughter about her father so that her daughter would understand why she hates the girls father. The daughter was ridiculous, thinking that she could force a reconciliation between OP and her abuser. Her daughter has brought her problems on herself.
@klemenhudobreznik3421
Ай бұрын
SAY INSENSITIVE VICTIM BLAMER! YOU DONT SAY BULLY VICTIM THAT THEY NEED "GET OVER IT", ESPECIALLY IF HAPPENED IN CHILDHOOD WHEN YOU STILL DEVELOP AS PERSON!
@darmasa11
Ай бұрын
Say what you want, but when you let the past keep impacting you, you keep being a victim. After the victim was later catered to (yes he was catered to, fax) he still had to the gall to be “ol poor me”. That’s not trauma, that’s enabled behavior
@hanmitch457
Ай бұрын
Spoken like someone who was never bullied .....
@darmasa11
Ай бұрын
@@hanmitch457 more like an ex victim that doesn’t let past trauma define me than being a sorry POS that keeps moaning about the past (yes I had therapy, she was the best)
@peshivirginflower7
Ай бұрын
Being bullied doesn't give you the right to become the bully.
@hanmitch457
Ай бұрын
@@darmasa11 wow and now you're victim blaming by saying that its the responsibility of the victim to get better and get over it , and if they can't they're a POS to you .... The fact that you're generalising all victims and they're trauma prove you don't really understand what people who have been brutally bullied actually go through 😓
@chrisi308
4 күн бұрын
The brother is not entirely right, and I think he overreacted in the way he acted with the husband (not the bully) trying to be the best man, but everyone reacts to trauma in different ways, Trauma can literally change the way your brain works and thats is a reason why many people with PD are victims of abuse. Many people never get over trauma, many kill themselves over things that happened decades ago, the way you wrote it is extremely irresponsible and hinders more than it helps. You were able to overcome your past and move on with life, many of us are not. This is called privilege.
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