We want to thank you guys for another season of OPL! Thank you for viewing, listening, sharing, commenting, supporting our sponsors, and everything else you do. It means the world to us and allows us to keep doing a show that we love and feel is important. We'll be back in 2023 with all new episodes! And don't forget if you're new to the show, there are 100+ audio only episodes on Spotify, Apple, and all other podcast platforms that are not on this KZitem Channel. Have a great holiday and we'll see you in the new year! 💙
@GaryCox-zv8mr
9 ай бұрын
It's make me sick my stomach wen I'm leasen to her😢
@hardpathpoet2859
Жыл бұрын
My brother molested me and it escalated to rape. I started to tell the truth just under 20 years later. It hurt everybody to find out the truth, but it was worth it. Now he's going to prison for what he did to me. And he'll never hurt another child. Tell the truth. Report the crimes committed against you.
@abigailhoward9312
Жыл бұрын
You are so brave for taking it upon yourself to make sure he paid for what he did to you. I hope you continue to find healing !
@seaturtlepoppy7679
Жыл бұрын
Do you live in CA? Or did some states change laws when it came to children and/or incest?? I'm just curious because the laws are so stupidly different across the states and it's amazing that he went to prison after decades of thinking he got away with it!
@hardpathpoet2859
Жыл бұрын
@Seaturtle Poppy It almost reached statute of limitations. The statute is 20 years in my state. He's 7 1/2 years older, and the law in my state is that the perpetrator must be at least 5 years older. The evidence was mostly the pre incident indicators for violence. You can thank Gavin De Becker & Associates for inventing and advancing the MOSAIC method so that PINs are now admissible evidence. They police were also able to verify that he is a psycopath, and psycopathy indicators are corroborative evidence.
@LovetoSingg123
10 ай бұрын
I love a success story
@snicole042
9 ай бұрын
@@seaturtlepoppy7679In CA the child has to prove it. Statute ends after seven years. Although they’re arresting men for something a woman said happened in the 80’s.
@Litlgi14
Жыл бұрын
This girl is hurt. I hope she finds the strength to start therapy and get it all out there to process.
@AngelDKrii
Жыл бұрын
This sweet woman is more worried about what would happen to him if she tells her family than she is about herself. So common with victims of abuse. I hope she gets the help she needs asap. She clearly has PTSD and seeing him cannot be good for her.
@boogityhoo7452
Жыл бұрын
Its very very sad to hear her say that
@alysa918ify
Жыл бұрын
100% it's sounds like it's not allowing her to release this. Just by her seeing her offender it's such a hard place because it's her brother. Most people don't have to go to events and gathering with their rapists. She hasn't even had space it sounds to get away from him 🥺
@alysa918ify
Жыл бұрын
Also just hearing her thinking if she talks about it it might nit help her feel better. I've been there. Yes it doesn't change what happens, unfortunately but to hold a weight that isn't yours to hold is heartbreaking. It's really sad to hear someone think they can't get help.
@PerrisN
10 ай бұрын
Praying she said something ❤️ either way you’re so strong
@HH-kg4fq
9 ай бұрын
C- PTSD
@0001A-k5q
Жыл бұрын
People need to understand sexual abuse happens in the home 90% of the time. Uncles, cousins, aunts, siblings. These people have access to your children, not the creep down the street. Stop leaving your children alone with other people/children.
@Shakkkkkk
Жыл бұрын
It’s a little difficult to not leave your kid alone at some point in their life with a family member especially if you have to go to work and need someone to take care of them
@mathenysabrina
Жыл бұрын
I remember the stranger danger movement. I would end up being more safe with strangers than in my own home. Parents need to police who they have around their kids, to include other kids. You don't know what's being done to them if anything and how that manifests.
@seaofroses8888
Жыл бұрын
That's unrealistic. You cannot be with your child 24/7.
@victoriaodegaard1
5 ай бұрын
I’m going to assume 90% means 90% of child sexual abuse and not 90% of homes with children.
@biloisaiah3177
3 ай бұрын
Definitely not 90% of the time? But I agree with everything else you said.
@michelemartin3360
Жыл бұрын
The cycle doesn’t stop until someone stops it.
@diz.420
2 ай бұрын
We know that, but it's hard to be the one. Especially when your family may brush it aside as if it's nothing. This is the way my family reacted just because they had never seen his abuse. I was even forced to say hi to him by my mom and to not "start anything." Often times it hurts you more than anything.
@5thgrdrz
Жыл бұрын
if the caller is reading this, i know it’s hard to say something but i really think you should. if someone else in your family had been molested you would want them to tell you so you could support them. your experience is more important than your brother’s reputation or your family’s comfort. it’s bothering you every day and it’s hard to work through alone, but this episode proves that talking about it helps. and there are people who want to help, you just have to ask for it
@HISBestLifeCoach
9 ай бұрын
💯
@JoeSantagato
Жыл бұрын
Another season in the books! Thanks for the support everyone.
@Schwartzzz
Жыл бұрын
Shut up
@abigailhoward9312
Жыл бұрын
Your facial expressions make the show so fun to watch lol
@TheHajnee14
Жыл бұрын
I never realised you guys were making other KZitem content too 😮
@rebelleparrish4937
Жыл бұрын
I also am the survivor of sibling sexual abuse. Hes been dead for 4 years. My moms been dead for one and my dad for almost 2....i told my mom and she didnt believe me as a kid. I brought it up again as an adult when i had a nervous breakdown and she listened but never really wanted to talk about it
@claudeyaz
Жыл бұрын
It is awful that happened to you. But don't think your mom hated you. She made the wrong choice though by not acknowledging the truth. She either had to accept her whole life was a lie, her family relationships and happiness. And accept that she let a predator around her daughter, and she did not realize her son was a predator. Didn't see it under her roof...or ignored it if she knew. Again. I'm really sorry. But humans are flawed, so do not think it is anything wrong with you. It is hard to admit when we are wrong. Ofc I do not know about your family. But I know how easy it is to blame yourself, for troubles caused by other people
@rebelleparrish4937
Жыл бұрын
I was 3 when i was adopted snd the abuse started immediately. He was 8 years older than me. I still remember standing up at his karate meet and telling everyone how much i loved him....we all got home and he beat the tar out of me for embarrassing him. My parents still didnt get it. I told when i was 5, 6, and 8...it stopped finally when i was 10. My mom put a lock on my door high up where he couldnt reach and locked me in at night. Told the neighbors i sleepwalk Nd was dangerous. "I was dangerous" he even blamed me when we were adults for his drug abuse...because of what he did to me he was a victim of drugs. Thats how he tried to sell it to me anyhows. Theyre all gone and i still miss my mom everyday. Dad too. I had one year after my brother died that i could feel safe and be happy with my folks. Then they died and im all alone now. In ketamine treatment and weekly therapy to talk about it. Helps a little. More than id thought. Im single and never had a boyfriend more than a year. I just turned 40. Id love to be able to meet someone nice and be able to trust
@rebelleparrish4937
Жыл бұрын
I know my mom loved me deeply. She was my person in absense of ever forming tightrr bonds with friends or lovers. Until her death a few years ago...she was my person. It feels like walking around missing a huge piece of yourself. Even after the 10 years of gaslighting after the abuse....she owned up to it when i was 23 and broke down completely. I begged her to acknowledge the truth and she did. She said why do you think i spent the last 20 years keeping yall on opposite sides of the country? I didnt know what else to do. I was adopted and i know my mother carried an intense amount of guilt knowing she adopted a baby from a severely neglectful environment and brought her to safety...where that baby was then abused under her own roof by the other child she worked so hard to raise. Thats devastating to think about. Im unpacking all these things now in therapy and ive never held malice towards her for how she handled or failed to handle things. She was still my person and i miss her desperately.
@kenosabi
Жыл бұрын
@@rebelleparrish4937 I'm truly sorry and hope your able to find some peace.
@hardpathpoet2859
Жыл бұрын
I was 5 when my brother started. He stopped three years into it because I was getting psychogenic seizures and he was afraid of getting caught. But then at 13, he raped me. He's 7 years older than me. We can get better.
@gaiaswildchildtarot
4 ай бұрын
Unfortunately this is far more common than people think. Thanks for educating others.
@meahdahlgren6537
Ай бұрын
Right
@meahdahlgren6537
Ай бұрын
Right
@abigailhoward9312
Жыл бұрын
My older brother also abused me from the age of 8 until I was 12. I refused to discuss the details with anyone until I was around 17 years old. And to this day I still talk about it with my friends in the most vague way I can. Discussing details is TOUGH. My heart goes out to her
@ruthprophete5566
10 ай бұрын
I am sorry you went through that. I was abused by my brother too. I believe it started when I was 3 I could have been 4 it went on for a few years. I have not told anyone specifics nor has my family asked. We all pretended it didn't happen and had no effect on me.
@michelemartin3360
Жыл бұрын
When she mentioned about his future children that really shook me. I was molested by my father for 7 years. I found out at 14 that he had raped my aunt when they were younger and she never told anyone. She never believed he would hurt his own kid but he did. Sometimes I wish she had said something. But then again maybe I wouldn’t be here if she had, sometimes I think that would be better but then I think of my kids and how awesome they are and so idk. It’s conflicting😅
@tarsi00
Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry
@michelemartin3360
Жыл бұрын
@@tarsi00 Thank you. I appreciate you. Have a lovely day ☺️
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
Even after I told my 2 older sisters I didn't find out until years later that he molested one of them too. She's 4 years older than I am. Thinking back on it, I think her abuse might have even continued past when mine stopped. And she still didn't tell anyone.
@michelemartin3360
Жыл бұрын
@@ma-ma-mamary3946 I definitely understand, it’s terrifying to open up about something like this. I hope for healing for all of you 💗 you are strong and beautiful and loved 💕
@stefaniea222
Жыл бұрын
I was thinking that the little sister loves him sooooo much… why is she being groomed
@dewilew2137
Жыл бұрын
This poor girl is worried about all the wrong things. This is not your burden to carry, sweetheart. Take care of yourself. 💞
@alexispatnode9110
8 ай бұрын
Dear caller, you have such a big heart. I’m so sorry this happened to you.. it’s time to put yourself first. It’ll never be the “right” time to tell people, set yourself free and start your healing journey by exposing this fool!! His wife would want to know this and so would your sister! Women stick together and support!
@christinevalt8917
9 ай бұрын
My brother abused me from the age of 5 to 13. He is 4 years older than myself, so it started when he was only 9 himself. I repressed any memory of it until I was 27 and for some reason those memories came fast and strong. 2 suicide attempts and comfort from a bottle followed. Wanting to protect the brother I love who is a kind hearted family man and having a mother who chose to quickly shove it under the rug as not to taint the family name. Best thing I ever did besides find a therapist I related to , she saved my life in my eyes, but I did also confront my brother. He has different memories than I do but regardless they run similar to my own. He adamantly stated how sorry he was and that nothing that ever happened was my fault. His acknowledgement allowed me to forgive him. We still have a relationship today and I actually like him better than my other family members. At least he manned up to his actions. I still have issues sometimes and if I bow out of a holiday gathering , then that’s ok. I don’t have to put myself in situations that will leave me feeling raw if I’m not up for it. My advice would be to definitely chat with your brother. It just may be a starting place for healing. It will always be with you, but it’s up to you how much you let the past affect you now💕
@PanthORandPonAY
Жыл бұрын
This one was a hard listen. You can hear the pain in her voice and I wish I could hug her. I hope she tells her parents so that her brother can be locked up so he can never hurt anyone else. I'm a survivor as well and it has made my life a really crazy one. Good and so bad. I just now started therapy last week to FINALLY begin the healing process. Stuffing it down all these years manifested in terrible ways. For the caller on this episode: you are not alone and there is help out there for you. Sending you lots of love and healing vibrations. You deserve to be in peace. 💗
@samjones0528
Жыл бұрын
Greg and Joe handle these conversations so well. my heart goes out to today's guest.
@azkabanfamily
Жыл бұрын
Girl, I hope you get the help you deserve. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You got this!
@dovestone_
Жыл бұрын
Even if he regrets it it’s something he did to YOU. It’s your place to tell people about it if you feel able to. 💗
@rebelleparrish4937
Жыл бұрын
For anyone whos watching this who is triggered....you will be ok. You will see another day. What they did does not define who you are as a person. You do not owe them any of your grief. You owe yourself your life and your future happiness. You can get there with help from a trusted therapist or grief couselor with specialty in abuse and ptsd. You are not alone. If your abuser blames you for all their issues after the abuse do not let that sink into your own psyche. I did not cause my brother genetic mental illnesses. I endured them and survived them. Neither did you! Pick yr chin up and soldier on to fight another day dear ones. We are strong and we will endure
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
Well said. Wishing you the best in your journey.
@HH-kg4fq
9 ай бұрын
C-PTSD
@HH-kg4fq
9 ай бұрын
"Soldier on"!!!!???? Those are horrible choice of words...... F--- ewe......
@ADayInTheLifeofBS
Жыл бұрын
This level of vulnerability is powerful. I hope someday soon she can see her beauty because she has a wondeful strength and beauty about her spirit. All the healing and growth to you !
@MK-Hogan
Жыл бұрын
Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry. Please at least speak to a therapist about this. I know you’re scared to change your family dynamic but your mental health also isn’t worth sacrificing if you need to get this out. At least confiding in a therapist can help you sort some things out for yourself, whether or not you ever confront him or your family about it.
@Klrsmax
Жыл бұрын
Your brother is not the victim here, you are. My cousin used to expose himself to me and would touch himself in front of me. The age dynamic between you and your brother is pretty similar to me and my cousin. I always had the same thoughts about how this would destroy how people saw him. However, after my child was born all that trauma came to the surface. I thought about how I would feel if something like that happened to my daughter. I told my mom and my brothers about what happened because this is bigger than just me. My brother's wife is pregnant with a little girl right now too. They are entitled to that information to protect their child as they see fit. I'm not putting the safety of my daughter and my niece on the chopping block for the feelings of a (now) grown adult man. Even a teenager knows this behavior is wrong, and you seem to be trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I would encourage you to go to therapy. I still need to myself, but I feel better knowing my family knows, so hopefully he'll never be left alone with a child.
@contenteater
2 ай бұрын
After you warned your family, is your cousin and his wife still together?
@jordanleighwheatley
Жыл бұрын
I hope, no matter when, she decides to talk about it with her family or brother that she writes back in and does a follow up episode. And the only people who think positive self talk is corny are the people who have never been to therapy
@jesss491
Жыл бұрын
Saying it out loud is the first step. I am so proud of you an how brave you are!
@proper.role.model.819
Жыл бұрын
I didn't realize how common stuff like this was. I could never imagine. I know some of us have been in situations where our innocence was taken in whatever way and its devastating.
@Watchamakallett321
Жыл бұрын
this is the first time I have ever seen someone else think of timelines through their abusers age/life events. I always thought I was the only one and felt insane that I remembered more of their life than I did mine. thank you so much for sharing this story and all the others that y’all do. ❤
@abigailhoward9312
Жыл бұрын
You guys are amazing interviewers. Staying objective but always carefully wording your questions
@kaeluvly
10 ай бұрын
It’s always so refreshing to see the serious side and caring side of you guys. I respect it so much and you guys for giving these people a platform to just open up about things
@angieoh2
Жыл бұрын
To this guest: it sounds like you disassociated through a lot of the abuse. Please get yourself some help. Speaking from experience, it's a long, painful road... but it's worth it. YOU are worth it!
@racheljane_
Жыл бұрын
I feel for this person so much. I would really strongly encourage her to speak to a therapist who specializes in this area, specifically talking about it, to help her process through what happened, how it has affected her, and how to move forward. It’s easy for people who have never experienced deep issues and traumas within family to not understand how she can still have a relationship with him and care about how this would affect him, to the point of taking the responsibility on herself to carry the burden alone. There is such a thing as trauma bonding. When you’re a child and especially when a parent or older sibling inflicts a form of harm upon you, it’s confusing because you look up to them and they also provide something for you, so it can cause this mix of emotions. Think of how many people have had their mothers, for instance, be horrible and toxic people to the point of emotional abuse, and they still just let things slide and put up with it or ignore things because “well, it’s my mom”. The same sort of thing can happen in this instance. What I would like to say is what happened was not your fault. You are not responsible for it, nor are you responsible to continue carrying this burden on your own via keeping your brother’s dirty secret so that he can continue living in peace (potentially harming others, though of course we do not know that). He needs to be held accountable for his actions. He harmed you deeply. You have carried this for so long. Let me ask, if this had happened to your younger sister and not to you, would you want her to tell you so you could support her? If this was a friend of yours who has this happen to them or whom your brother did this to, would you like them to tell you? I’m not going to give specific advice on how to confront him and who else to tell and how to do so, as again I think that a therapist would be best suited to help guide you in that, but please do not continue on keeping this hidden away. You need to be freed from that burden. I empathize with how you don’t want to have it affect other people, that just shows how compassionate you are, but you cannot be compassionate to him and others to the point of harming yourself. Please, please seek counsel and tell others this happened. 🤍
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
Beautifully said. I also responded with similar things too. It's a lot of work. Not everyone wants to do the work. I'm sure there's a lot of fear that she won't be believed too. Tough all the way around.
@Dani.P.F.
Ай бұрын
It's not your responsibility to protect your abuser, ever. He did what he chose to do and your sould does not deserve to suffer in silence.
@3klamarie
Жыл бұрын
She said OPP, that’s the provincial police where I live. My heart goes out to her. I can’t even imagine the torment of not only experiencing these years of molestation, let alone keeping it a secret and having to see them at family events. Privately dealing with a personal hell. I pray this man doesn’t have a daughter. I’m sending so much love and healing to this young woman♥️
@jos.3649
Жыл бұрын
🇨🇦
@Indiemakeuplover
Жыл бұрын
Sweet girl. You deserved so much more, and you do now. I strongly encourage you to seek therapy and rebuild yourself, I did and it helped me immensely. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope it helped you to get it out, it was a HUGE step to take ❤❤
@autumnanderson7757
Жыл бұрын
I've survived a ton of childhood trauma, neglect, SA, and physical abuse. It's greatly effected how I perceive, and related to others. I too often wonder about who I would have been without these traumas. I too cry for the person I could have been.
@mrs.rodriguez123
Жыл бұрын
As someone who had a family member do things to me as a young kid, between ages of 5 to 8, her saying how she can't remember specific details of what was was said really struck me, as I am the same way. I remember segments, parts of the abuse, the surroundings. But my brain kind of just went away when it would begin. I've had therapists want to make me remember, process it. But I will not do it. I don't want to remember anymore of that than I have to. The memories I do have are bad enough. And also like her, I never told anyone other than my husband, best friend, and my mom. The rest of my family does not know. But the person who hurt me, can't hurt anyone ever again. They are at the end of their life with access to no children. That brings me some peace of mind. And removes some guilt for not telling anyone until I was 20. I know it's not my fault, but it messes up your brain and the way you are for the rest of your life. To this woman, I want to emphasize, this is not your fault, it's totally on him, and you did nothing wrong. And I'm so sorry, I know the pain is chronic. Some days are better, but that hurt never completely goes away, and the memories are agony. Also, never forget, most pedophiles, like the one who molested me, do not come off as blatantly creepy or predatory. They come off kind, caring, helpful, reliable, trustworthy. They are masters of disguise, which makes them so incredibly dangerous. If he is still doing it, unfortunately it's most likely that only the current victims will know it.
@mariahlucio1761
Жыл бұрын
To the guest: Thank you for sharing this, I know it must have been a hard step to take but you did it. You are so brave. You my dear, are meant to to be seen. You deserve to be heard and you’re allowed to take up space in the world. You are important and you are worthy. I am sending you so much love and light, I pray you stay on the path to healing. 🤍
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
Prepare for a novel! Lol! Thank you guys for asking the tough questions. I think this is one of the hardest interviews I listened to from OPL. Good grief... the first 3 minutes of this was as if someone was reading a page from my life. I'm a survivor. There were so many similarities in the nuts & bolts: same age gap between her & her brother, same ages when the abuse happened... Heck, even the age gap between the older sister & the brother are nearly the same. I had lots of the same negative inner reflections as she had (and still do). The big difference was that I had blocked out everything so well that I didn't remember how old I was when my brother molested me. I had thought that maybe I was younger when it happened - 5 years old or something. I first told my 2 older sisters when I was roughly 10 years old. My brother had always been socially awkward and one night we were gossiping about his weird antics. Thr topics gradually turned weirder & darker & then that's when I told them what had happened to me. My oldest sister, who is 9 years older than me, ended up telling my mom. Soon after that my mom said to me that as long as it was no longer happening, there was nothing to do about it. By then it had already stopped. We never spoke about it again. Years later when something I had written on a school assignment triggered staff to send something home about a social worker, my parents said something similar to me. "It was no longer happening." "Social workers only take kids away from their parents." There was a huge cultural gap (I'm a 1st generation American, born to refugee parents who fled from war in a 3rd world country) which didn't help. There was a lot of lack of education, resources & shame from their part. It's no excuse but that's just the way it was. Even when the truth came out & law enforcement found out about it (from an unrelated incident) there was nothing legally happened. It was a flaky case since I didn't know exact details and by then it was beyond the statute of limitations. It wasn't until I was in my 20s that my brother was confronted. It was then that he told me about our actual ages at the time of the incidents. I never asked how many times or how often it happened or why he did it. To this day it doesn't matter to me. What matters is how I heal from it. He did apologize to me. We still have somewhat of a relationship but it's not worth my time or effort to want it to grow closer. He's grown into a ridiculously entitled person who lives in a fantasy world where life should be like in 80s-90s sitcoms but then puts no effort into making things work. When other people don't fit in his bubble of ideals, he becomes bitter and lashes out about how he's the victim of isolation because of everyone else's doing. I ain't got time for that. I've wronged my siblings before too (nothing to that degree of course) but I've apologized for it & changed my behavior. You know - grown people stuff. In the past few years he had been seeing a therapist. Every once in a while he'll throw some half measured post on social media about his struggles or rant about other things. It takes a lot for me to not react in a condescending way. I'm sure there are times that I can give him pointers on how to better handle things too. I keep it short when/if I do respond. I don't have the mental capacity to follow-up and make sure that he's doing okay. But I don't wish him ill will either. We also lost our parents this spring/summer so I've got enough on my own plate. And no, it wasn't my choice to confront him. My husband at the time outed it after seeing me beat myself up mentally over the undealt mental trauma and getting the brunt end of my outbursts. Looking back I do find that it was unfair for him to have done that - regardless of it being from good intentions - but sh!+ happens. I have a feeling that it likely would have never happened if he hadn't done that so in a way, I am grateful. I'm in my early 40s now. I've gone to therapy. Sometimes it helped. Many times it didn't. I don't know. Maybe I had sucky therapists. Maybe I started the therapy too late in life. Maybe I gave up on it too soon. I knew at a very young age that none of it was my fault. Honestly, at one point I was tired of hearing other people say it. I've gotten over that. They're trying to confuse & reassure me and that's fine. The repercussions of not having the support to deal with the trauma though... that led to negative things in my life - my mental health, my relationship with men, my coping mechanisms, etc. I do find it empowering nowadays that I can speak freely about it. I'm not ashamed and I will call out anyone who may be victim blaming/shaming or try to smack talk a victim/survivor's behavior in the aftermath of his/her dealing with trauma. Even though I don't have everything figured out I've learned to cut myself some slack. I was a kid. My innocent brain was a clean slate when this crap happened to me. The lack of help & support during the most detrimental points of my growing brain were not there. I messed up a lot. I acted out a lot. I suppressed a lot of emotion. Slowly but surely I started to recognize things that triggered my trauma. Sometimes when I was listened to survivor stories & I thought I could handle it but ended up in a huge slump afterwards, sometimes having outbursts of anger that I didn't know where it came from. Also - on the guilt of the wife & sister knowing... it was an extremely valid thing to ask "What if he did it to someone else?" "What if he does it to his kids?" Because yes, people DO do stupid things when they're kids ---- and let's not forget that he WAS a kid too ---- but a lot of people will repeat stupid things if they got away with it the first time. All the excuses she kept giving about how her brother is going through hard times mentally --- I mean --- is he REALLY getting the help he needs if whatever compelled him to do such a messed up thing to begin with is never addressed? I hate to say it but if there's a real genuine concern over HIS mental well being then it's even more important for the truth to come out so he CAN own up to the mistake he made & he can make peace with it. It'll probably be a huge weight off his shoulders too. I hope that makes sense. We live with the dream that all abusers get punished for what they did wrong. So many times it happens with the people you care for & have to live with for the rest of your life (if you so choose to). Sometimes we don't want these people to be punished. We just want them to be held accountable for it & own up to it. It's scary to face the fact that telling the truth may change things. Nothing will take away what happened. Nothing will take the hurt away. It's easier to keep it a secret than it is to let the truth out and live with the aftermath. It's going to be hard work. The amount of work is scary AF! I don't blame her for being hesitant but I do encourage it. There's a lot of empowerment on both sides to tackle the issue and move forward. They can even go to counseling together if they think it's something they can become closer with. One thing I've got to say is that there's never a wrong or a right time to do it. Don't look for that perfect opportunity. This isn't a marriage proposal where you are looking to surprise someone with something happy. All the excuses she spouted are of the things that prevent us from telling the truth. It's a neverending battle. I wish her the best. I hope she can get over the guilt she feels if she thinks she'll ruin his reputation if other people find out. It's not something she should shoulder. With actions comes consequences. Those actions are his, not hers. It's not her job to protect someone else's feelings or reactions. Maybe one day she'll learn to let things go. She was never in the wrong so she doesn't deserve to live with any guilt of the repercussions. I mean - it's not as if she's planning to shout it from the rooftops or smear him. I hope she doesn't discredit her sister(s) either. They'll be able to forgive him themselves if they find that he is worthy of it.
@marmor5930
10 ай бұрын
It sounds like she needed to talk to someone about this. What a terrible secret to feel like you have to keep and deep wound to heal. I hope she knows she has an entire army of strangers rooting for her. She sounds like such a beautiful soul, to even be so positive after something like this.
@andreapperley
Жыл бұрын
Incredibly powerful episode, you guys did a great job with giving this person space to speak.
@6988GWN
8 ай бұрын
Sending you love, sweet Canadian lady. You are not alone. My male cousin's older brother molested him for several years between grades 2-5. My cousin told the family in the last 10y (when he was 40). Talking to a therapist will help you get thru this without telling your family, or until you choose to say it. Love you, woman.
@ceciliaaznaran3317
2 ай бұрын
This is just terrible, especially when it happens from a family member. As a victim, we feel guilty and carry that shame. It happen to me with a uncle once at the age 8 but it traumatized me for life. At the age of 32 I finally told my mother. She went to his house and confronted him. Of course he denied it, but I got therapy and healed. I have shared my experience with friends and learned that something similar has happened to them from family members. I am glad I can help others with my experience. One of my friends decided to get therapy. I feel for this woman, I do hope she goes to therapy, tells her family a😢nd confronts her brother. He should pay for what he did.
@paintingsbypellie
Жыл бұрын
I wrote into the show awhile back but never got a reply. My story is that my step father molested me and tried to rape me for about 3 1/2 yrs until I finally told my mom. She kicked him out and he went to jail not because she called the cops but because she tried to get me into therapy and they turned him in. CPS got involved, and I had to go through a physical, talk to cops, and go to therapy. They deemed me mentally unfit to go to court. He was only gone for a few months. While he was in jail, my Mom overdosed on pills. When he got out, she stayed with him! He was court ordered to stay 500 or more feet away and she would leave me alone and go and spend all her time at his apartment. Which was across the street from the mobile home park we lived in. This all made me deeply depressed and I felt betrayed. It caused me to become suicidal, cutting, suffering from eating disorders, and more. Sometimes, telling the truth makes things worse. I know that it is not my fault. I am much older now, and he is dead now as well. I still don't know if I will ever be fully healed but I want every survivor to know they are not alone, and it is not their fault. It is okay to move on in the way that helps you. Much love, and healing.
@texastea5686
10 ай бұрын
Omg im so sorry. Is your mom still alive?
@ElizaGatchell
Жыл бұрын
For anyone who’s experienced any type of sexual abuse as a child I highly recommend exploring Internal Family Systems therapy. The book “No Bad Parts” is a great place to start.
@e_i_e_i_bro
Жыл бұрын
Ask any therapist how common this is, and prepare to be shocked. There are predators and enablers in so many families. And yes, if you don't protect the children in your family/community from playground enthusiasts, YOU are just as much a part of the problem. If you put your comfort before protecting others from harm, you are just as deplorable as the people who do harm. Enablers aim to make it so hard for victims to speak the truth. The truth always comes to light. Always speak it.
@peachfuzz7329
Жыл бұрын
INCOMING 6 PAGE ESSAY: I really hope this caller sees my comment and reads the whole thing This is the exact spot I was in about two years ago. I mean, it’s literally like I’m listening to myself from two years ago, talking about my own brother… I’ve now told most of my family, and cut all ties with my brother. but none of the rest of my family respects my experience or boundaries, and still bring him up to me, by name, which is very triggering, so it’s hard to have a relationship with my family at all. It’s hard. It hurts my inner child. Like she said, I always wonder who I would’ve been if this never happened to me. And what my relationship with my family would be. Unfortunately my family is a giant cycle of abuse, and after coming to terms with my own abuse, I’ve uncovered a lot more abuse that’s happened in my family, and it’s completely toxic, so I’m choosing to break the cycle. I’ve cut ties with my father as well, after finding out he sexually assaulted my sister and one of her friends when they were younger. That was only AFTER I ASKED MY SISTER if she had experienced any kind of abuse by anyone in the family. It’s hard to go down the route of discovery and truth but it’s worth it in the end. As lonely as it gets, I know I’m on the right side of history, by not sweeping what happened under the rug, and not talking about abuse, and acting like it’s normal because it’s not. Generational abuse is real and families are very good at hiding abuse. Telling everyone will certainly make you feel better and more at peace in your soul, but it won’t happen right away. And it will be difficult. Living in your truth isn’t always easy, but it will always set you free. But you have to be mentally prepared for the ways your family react (or if they don’t react at all). They may support you, they may blame you, they may say that you’re lying, there’s many different reactions. But just know that you are speaking the truth and that’s what matters. You know what happened and nobody’s going to gaslight you into thinking your abuse didn’t happen or wasn’t that bad because it was. Any abuse is bad. For a while I fantasized about confronting my brother as well. Telling him that we both know what happened. But I just imagined him telling me that it never happened and it was all in my head and I couldn’t take it if that was even a possibility. 25:58- 26:18I thought the exact same thing for so long. I highly highly encourage you to just ask your other family members if they’ve ever experienced anything like you did, because I think it’s entirely possible. The reason I completely cut ties is because I ASKED MY NEICE, if she had ever been abused by anyone in the family, and she told me that my brother had r**ed her. Not only that, but she told me that my brothers son, my nephew who was very young at the time, walked in on it happening. And it was very recent. (My abuse happened years ago) so, I had been trying to justify everything in my head, and to tell myself that my brother was a good person now, that he had changed, and that it was only one time, and I’m sure he’s never done anything like that again. Well I was wrong. And that’s when I realized he was an abusive person, full stop. And I had to cut ties. Also the part about not telling anyone because it would change the way they see him. That’s exactly how I felt with my ex boyfriend, I didn’t want to tell him but he got it out of me. Yes people’s image of him is going to change, because it should. I know that hurts but anyone that’s abused a person ever in their life is a red flag. Whether it was once or 100 times, abuse is abuse. What you’re really doing is subconsciously protecting the way YOU see him. If you don’t ever accept that the abuse happened, you can continue acting like everything is normal, but once you tell other people, it becomes real to everybody else, not just you. It makes it real when you tell other people,and they see the abuser for what they are. An abuser. Your brain has been protecting you for years. Subconsciously convincing you that your brother is still a good person, so that you still feel safe at home. This is all completely normal and coping mechanisms that your brain does without you even knowing. Your brain is trying to convince you that you’re safe for as long as you’re not able to get out of that situation. Your brain has been trying to keep this idea of the family you thought you had, but unfortunately your family is different from that image. And that’s hard to cope with. That’s where therapy comes in. You can talk through all of these completely normal thoughts you’re having, and have them be explained to you. I told the police despite knowing that legally nothing would or could be actually done due to the fact that it happened 12 years prior, and there was no evidence or witnesses. But I did it to protect my nephew, and his child. I know that at least if he does this to anybody else, there will be some sort of record that I reported a sexual assault. I still am eaten alive by what I know my nephew witnessed. I will definitely be trying to ask him about it when he gets older and offering him to live with me when he turns 18 I highly highly recommend that you seek some type of therapy because dealing with abuse like this alone is not easy to cope with. My abuse lead me to be an alcoholic by age 18. I’m three years sober now, but I think that is 100% because of the fact that I finally addressed the abuse, and cut ties with my brother. Before I came to terms with my abuse, one of my brothers girlfriends disclosed to me that my brother sexually assaulted her. At the time, my immediate reaction was that she was lying. I believed that she was the abusive one, but now that I see everything for what it is, I know that my brother hasn’t stopped abusing people since he abused me that one time. I wish I could have a conversation with this girl because I’ve honestly never head someone with a story so similar to mine
@hopeadele112
Жыл бұрын
Hi! How can I contact you?
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
Wishing you the very best. So much of the caller's story was close to mine as well. Due to my brother's lack of social skills I'm glad he didn't have much of an opportunity to meet & abuse others.
@texastea5686
10 ай бұрын
@@hopeadele112I hope you were able to get in touch
@abigailhoward9312
Жыл бұрын
I also still have a relationship with my brother. Touching him in any way is hard. And sometimes when we talk I forget that it happened bc at the end of the day he’s my brother. But he’s also my abuser. It’s very confusing
@TheKhfan001
7 ай бұрын
I understand, I was molested by my older sister when we were both kids. She was bigger than me, and manipulative. It's just like she said, like images of those times will just pop into my head at random times. It hangs over me like a cloud. What sucks is that so much time has passed, she's a whole wife and mother now to a very sweet girl. I feel like I'd just be ruining a life with ancient information or she could easily deny it (yes, the family would absolutely believe her over me). I feel like I'm just going to take this to my grave (and tell strangers on the internet cause that's my only catharsis).
@jordanleighwheatley
Жыл бұрын
I wonder if she could start with confronting her brother with her boyfriend present and see how that goes and if he seems remorseful, etc. Then she can decide if she wants to confront her larger family and maybe even have the brother help tell them. Normally I would say f*ck whatever the abuser wants, but hearing her reservations and the consideration she has for her brother (not that he deserves it), maybe this option would make her feel empowered and control the narrative.
@Mentocthemindtaker
Жыл бұрын
I was going to write the same thing. If she really believes that he on;y did this once and is not going to do it again then she should absolute try to talk to him about it first. If he is open and honest and apologetic, then maybe together they can talk about it to the whole family and it will be easier for everyone involved. Especially her. But I also strongly believe she has to seek therapy, it can really help so much.
@jordanleighwheatley
Жыл бұрын
@@Mentocthemindtaker couldn't agree more. Especially because of alllll of the stories we've heard about one sibling telling their parents about assault committed by another and where the parents would rather believe one child is a liar instead of believing one committed a sexual crime. It would purely come from a place of understanding in that event without any additional trauma of hearing ones parents potentially saying something that causes further harm. And that's not any shade to them, idk how they would react, but it really seems 50/50 on which way the parents swing
@furryrug5998
9 ай бұрын
Im so devastated for this girl! I dated 3 totally different girls who were all sexually abused by family members. Having to listen to someone you love (or anyone in fairness)describe something straight out of a horror movie to you will never leave me(apologies if sounds like I'm a victim) . Please guys, anyone out there who has been abused go speak to someone you can trust or obviously a professional. Its extremely tough but it will help.
@sarahparr565
Жыл бұрын
Heartbreaking 😔 it’s sad how victims of sexual abuse still feel (after everything they have been through) that they need to look out for and protect others. She is obviously a wonderful, loving person. But she needs to show herself more of that love. The positive self talk is a great start. Put yourself first girlie, you deserve it. Take care of yourself. Everyone else will be okay. Your brother might not, but that is just a consequence of his own actions. You’ve suffered long enough while he has been living as if he did nothing wrong. Best of luck moving forward, I hope you are able to heal❤️
@mccnt9918
Жыл бұрын
The last thing I ever said to my abuser was "I love you Uncle Don and I'm sorry." It was at the end of a phone call I made to confront him with detectives right next to me. The next time I saw him was in a court room. Even after what he did to me I still felt sorry for reporting him and knowing that his world was gonna crumble because of that call. It's hard to accept that someone that was supposed to love and care for you and take care of you, never did. It's easier to hold onto the belief that they cared in their own sick way because accepting that it was so fake makes you question everything you've ever believed to be real and that's terrifying.
@sarahparr565
Жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry that you went through that. Nobody should ever have to. You’re strong for reporting him and I hate that even through all that you still felt guilty 😔. It’s so twisted and horrible for victims
@sebastianblackandwhitewatc2722
5 ай бұрын
I'm sorry girl, never give up ❤ you're strong and brave! Hiw you shared this is a prove!❤
@blazefaulkner6748
Жыл бұрын
I’d love to send her money to use the better help app, or to talk to someone, she’s hurting and you can hear it in her voice 😔
@Danidecaf
Жыл бұрын
I second this!
@Jasminegonzalez0624
9 ай бұрын
What a great idea!!
@hellokittymakeuplove
Жыл бұрын
I was molested by my uncle and my first cousin. I understand her trauma.
@autumnanderson7757
Жыл бұрын
I'm another
@kaylainglima
Жыл бұрын
This is breaking my heart to hear the pain in her voice. I am praying she finds someone to talk to & that they can help her find healing for this ❤
@nickm7911
3 ай бұрын
The unfortunate aspect of this scenario is that the brother was himself a minor when he committed the abuse. There is a reason why in legal systems minors are treated differently than adults when it comes to criminal responsibility. During adolescence, kids lack the cognitive, emotional, and psychological maturity of adults... they do not fully understand the consequences of their actions and lack the ability to control their impulses effectively. A lot of people look back on their adolescence and feel a sense of disbelief/horror at some of the things they did... they may find it hard to relate to the person they were back then. It's not just the learning they acquired, but the brain itself undergoes significant physical changes during teenage years and well into mid-20s.
@spudgun3268
9 ай бұрын
There is nothing more liberating and healing than the truth and living fully in it. I hope she is able to tell her family someday, especially for her little sister's sake. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to go through, however, and so I don't blame her one bit for not being able to do that yet. She sounds incredibly strong.
@prin0428
8 ай бұрын
I have very similar experiences and i just really want to give her a hug and tell her how courageous it was for her to come on and share her experience. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! I know the feelings are so isolating, especially when you have held them in for so long and told so few people. You are currently working out the best way to heal yourself and i am hopeful this was the first step moving forward to finding a way to heal. Please don't let others make you feel guilty for how you decide to handle your healing journey. You are only responsible for yourself. It is easy for others to tag the victim with the responsibility of the "what if's" when it comes to the perpetrator re-offending. That is not on the victim! EVER! I am 51 yro and the trust i have for the men is still tested on the daily due to the abuse that occurred to me and who the perpetrators were. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel and peace that comes with it.... I promise
@na2672
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for speaking your truth. It’s hard, I could never tell anybody. ❤
@SweetDayzBakery
Жыл бұрын
I'll say it Raw and Uncut. Tell your parents. Tell your sisters. One by one is easier. Then confront the abuser either directly or indirectly. I confronted my abuser through FB. I didn't care anymore. They freaked and blocked me. COOOL! I'm not going to let this be on my back anymore. This was ruining my life! I actually was not living. Its going to be about a month now and yeah, life is better. It does feel weird to have everyone who is important to me, to know but fuck it! I lived it. Y'all are just hearing about it. You can't be hurt more than me. So, protect yourself. Release this pain. And live your life. I lived with this for 20+ years. I'm barely 26. Don't wait so long.
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
I'm hoping the very best for you. I don't even know you & I'm proud of what you did.
@alexissstx
Жыл бұрын
in this exact situation with my brother and it’s so hard trying to navigate what to do. everything she said is truth and the feelings are so unbearable and real. i hope she’s okay and i give my whole heart to you ❤
@amandy771
9 ай бұрын
You are not alone. Reach out if you need. I confronted mine via email, was iced out as the blacksheep. etc.
@happygolucky9004
10 ай бұрын
I hope the caller finds the strength to tell her family. I was raped by a man I used to date. I reached out to his sisters and wrote them a letter explaining that I didn't think it was his first time and he needed help. One of his sisters reached out to me right after saying that 4 weeks before my assault her brother tried to assault her. She didn't tell anyone in her family because she was afraid they wouldn't believe her. It's very possible that the caller's brother has or is assaulting other women.
@desirees1644
Жыл бұрын
For the woman that called hugs to you. You are not alone. Your feeling are valid. It’s hard for young kids to come out and tell anyone what going on mentally you just don’t deal with what happened until older. Also the fear of being judge by other family members. But the more you tell your story the more you take the weight off yourself.Just be strong enough for you and focus what will help you. It’s more common than society realizes 😢.
@ashleymichelle8604
10 ай бұрын
I can tell this girl puts others before herself all the time. I hope she heals and starts to put herself first.
@alexispatnode9110
8 ай бұрын
Also OPL when y’all take callers it’d be cool if you told people to email with updates in future for stuff like this. I would love to hear update on when she tells her family. Same with other episodes!
@Jasminegonzalez0624
9 ай бұрын
So this may be an unpopular opinion, but when the host says that she needs to do what’s best for her in a case like this, I think it’s her responsibility to speak up as hard as it will be because there could be potential victims that she is saving by doing so. Now, I know it’s easy for me to say because I’ve never gone through something like this. I just know she needs to offload this burden because this is on him! This is his dirty to carry not hers! Prayers for her healing 🙏
@Mandukis
6 ай бұрын
I hope she has gotten the support she needed and found the strength to speak out since this recording ❤
@sharonzona4346
Жыл бұрын
My heart goes out to her. I hope she gains the strength to get some therapy.
@marrsings7131
10 ай бұрын
Wow why is this my story to a T? I was 5/6 and my brother was 8 years older and also took me to the basement… I also had an older sister that’s 7 years older and I wondered the same thing… I also never told my family but I do have a few friends that know. No one on my family knows
@texastea5686
10 ай бұрын
You know you're not the only victim right??
@louisehazel9158
Жыл бұрын
If your reading this comment. YES talking about it will make you feel better. You will feel supported and seen, you will be given steps to heal, you will be in control of the feelings, you may feel like you received justice, you will feel like you did the right thing, you will feel empowered, you will feel validated. It does not matter if he’s mentally unwell, hes grown out of it, he regrets it, he’s married now, his image and relationships will be effected. None of that matters. He hurt you and you deserve to talk about it for your own healing. He did not think about how his actions were going to impact you. So you have to do this for yourself, not him.
@_letstartariot
10 ай бұрын
She has more empathy + consideration for her brother than he had for her. He does not deserve it. You did nothing wrong and you don’t need to hide it. He was your big brother, he should have protected you not abuse you.
@Indiemakeuplover
Жыл бұрын
It is NOT your responsibility to protect him. HE made the choices
@texastea5686
10 ай бұрын
I have an older brother. He's 3 years older, and i wish we had a close or closer relationship. We get along but we're not best friends etc, but then i hear stories like this and im like, im glad i grew up fighting like cats and dogs with him when we were kids!! In high school, i don't think we even acknowledged each other, lol
@mkaverage4773
Жыл бұрын
I hope she is able to get to therapy & heal. I hope she knows it was never her fault & it’s not her job to protect him. And I hope her younger sister who loves her brother so much isn’t/doesn’t become his victim as well. Or anyone else. 🖤🖤
@DivaDivine88
9 ай бұрын
Believe me sis if he did it to you he did it to his sister too most likely and told her if she kept quiet he wouldn't do it to you.. or threatened to do it to you and she prolly had no idea he was touching you.. i knew that the reason he stopped toching you was bc he had a gf who was letting him touch her, and the readon ge fell into depression.. and th3 fact that you keep saying he's a good guy just shows evidence of how strong the Stockholm syndrome and cognitive dissonance you're experiencing.. you are moat like dealing qith ptsd and making it worse trying to be cordial like nothing happed while everone else loves him like hes the best thing since slices bread.. you need to speak with therapist and possibly your sister, parents and the police, bc FOR SURE IF WAS EAS NOT WILLING TO PROTECT HIS OWN YOUNGER SISTER FROM HIMSELF HE WON'T GIVE AF ABOUT TOUCHING HIS DAUGHTER/SON, or EVEN HIS NEICES/NEPHEWS, GRANDCHILDREN!! These pedos go for the easiest target and the one who is the most easy influenced and and sensitive- bc yhey know you are "too nice" to tell on them, thus furthering the abuse cycle.. he should prolly be in close watch psychotherapy like sex offender and i WOULD BE DAMNED IF I LEFT ANY OF MY YOUNG FAMILY MEMBERS IN HIS PRESENCE ALONE.. I prat for your healing and courage to speak up for yourself because evil prevails when good people do nothing.. God bless you love
@texastea5686
10 ай бұрын
My friend's brother molested their younger sister for years when they were younger. But my friend didnt find out about it until just recently, in their 40s .... her sister was maybe 5 and he was 9 or 10, my friend says she never knew, she was about 11, the oldest. She knew her sister was molested, but she never found out who it was until her sister finally confessed it was their brother. Their parents have no idea and they all continue to live as in "ignorance is bliss", and also, he's the favorite of the family 😒
@ForLoversOfWisdom
2 ай бұрын
This is so sad. I wish I could hug her. 😢
@noriwilliams4637
10 ай бұрын
She should expose him for betraying hr in the worst possible way. Who doesnt support her she doesnt need.
@JennAHerdz
7 ай бұрын
My older made me do stuff to him as a child. I was blindfolded. Its so sad my family will never know. He passed away at 27yrs old. Kinda glad I dont have to deal with him and his double life. He’s my family’s pride and joy. Ya no! 👎
@alexisreynolds9134
2 ай бұрын
I can relate to her in a sense. Not my brother, thank God. But I understand just not wanting to tell people to protect people. And you deal with it alone and stay quiet.
@B.hello27
9 ай бұрын
This poor girl is absolutely riddled with trauama , i don't see any healing. If she cant afford the therpay she desperately needs. I believe we can all make it happen for her.
@SuperMelrose1
Жыл бұрын
Psychologically I think kids (peers though) do “weird”, exploratory stuff. You hear a lot about that, but usually, it’s for curiosity and they’re the same age. His age makes the absolute difference there. Hearing the pain and worry in her voice is heartbreaking. Man, I hope she gets it resolved and has an amazing life ❤️
@dietdrkelpdaddy
9 ай бұрын
it’s so sad how in denial she is. i guarantee he doesn’t care at all and completely forgets about it other than when related topics are brought up. she needs to get angry at him to heal
@EllaEllaEh
9 ай бұрын
I can’t listen to this. My father, a next door neighbor, and my cousin molested me. It happens a lot more than people think. I wish nothing but the best in life for this person. You are a survivor.
@ellenthesmellen6126
Жыл бұрын
Just from the way this girl speaks, I feel that I may be around the age of her older sister, or even her brother. And on the off chance that she reads these comments I would like to say that…. If I were your sister, and you made the decision to approach your brother for this conversation you’re imagining, or you want to address it in a way that means your family would find out. I would in. No. Way. Feel that any repercussive confusion/anger/judgment whatever is your fault. It is the minimum consequence of the actions of your brother and his responsibility only. Not yours. He was of an age of understanding no matter what he was going through at the time. You are paramount and it says so much about your nature the way you are considering every one else’s feelings above your own. If I were your sister/best friend I would encourage you to seek therapy for specifically this experience. No one is saying that right away you need to tell your family or speak to your brother. But just like you have here, speak to someone in confidence who has no one’s interest at heart but your own. I can hear it in the way you speak that you are good and forgiving to your core despite everything working against you. You are not a bad person for wanting to heal. And if it truly is a concern for you that your family find out heal on your own first, work on your self talk and how you would speak about this situation if it was your friend or sister going through it. And you may feel differently in the end. Speaking about this and having your family find out may actually result in a more tailored care for your brother and what he’s going through currently. He may be bettered for your honestly. It will also ensure that if the chance exists that he might do this again… that you won’t feel at fault yourself. Because it wouldn’t be your fault, but from how you’re speaking you might think it was
@Eric-ls7pt
8 ай бұрын
It’s ok to be selfish sometimes, do the hard thing so you can move on. “You’ll know when you’ve had enough”. I honestly hope that this being a year old at the time I’m watching, you’ve put yourself first and have done something about this…
@elizawybieraa7357
Жыл бұрын
I'm really sorry for what she is been throu. As a psychologist I can tell you there are two types of people who sexuality molested children, one type is actual pedophiles and second is someone who is attracted to adults but It happens that they use children as its sadly easier to lure them in. I can't tell witch one is the brother but there is a chance he is second type. It doesn't make it better but this might calm you down. And as listing to your story you sounds like very emphatic person, maybe it will help both of you to have that conversation, maybe both with a specialist. This kind of big secrets do affect all family system, even if people dont realize what id going on exactly. There is a concept of generational trauma, not every specialist belive but its worth to have a look at. You are amazing woman, and I'm proud of how strong you are in that situation, I hope you will find a best solution, and have a beautiful life. Excuse my English as its my second language
@elizawybieraa7357
Жыл бұрын
also talking to a specialist can prepare you for what could happed if you decide to tell, like many famieas are at denial first and that can be really hurtful for the victim.
@jeannetterw
Жыл бұрын
When I was very young we lived with my grandparents for a bit. Grandpa had this habit of pulling my shirt up asking if I had an undershirt. Never thought anything about it until my Mum saw from another room and like teleported in and had him up against the wall choking him. She whispered something in his ear. And we never spoke about it again. Love my grandfather. But I had/have questions. I'm not asking her unless she wants to tell me.
@meredithgrimm6635
Жыл бұрын
My heart breaks listening to her. I so hope she has a wonderful life and finds a way to heal from this
@Kennygee517
Жыл бұрын
She sounds so young.
@megami.x
Жыл бұрын
Idk why, but I never see your videos on my subscription feed. And I noticed your videos have lower views than they used to, but I really don’t think it’s because people stopped liking it or anything. The only time I’m able to watch your videos is when I physically remember to go and check the channel because 100% they never come up in my subscription list even though I am subscribed. I don’t know why or how to resolve that, but it feels unfair to you guys.
@KimberlyJones-l4r
9 ай бұрын
The same thing happened to me but was obviously different. When I finally told my mom she told me I’m a lying bitch. My family was mixed on whether I was lying. But I had wrote a lot about it in a journal that my cousin found and gave to my mom to prove that it happened. We all just act like nothing happened. I’ve wondered if it was really molestation or not but therapists have said yes it was for sure. It has affected me in a lot of ways and is why I go for men that are emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive. I am not starting to get into dom/sub relationships. I think it’s all because of what I went through as a child. He’s not even the only “family” member that molested me. I just block it out for the most part.
@Nat-lg2ks
Жыл бұрын
My first question would be “does he have children?” Because I doubt he stopped with her….
@franciskirkpatrick2534
5 ай бұрын
This is all too common, I grew up with a military father, my parents were alcoholic, I told them I don't want to share a bedroom with my older brother, they put my younger brother 10 years in with him instead of I sharing a bedroom with my younger brother.. Twenty five years later my lil bro tells me he was sexual abused by older brother for seven years. he had a rocky marriage and older brother was married four timed twice to third wife. Iv"e been gay since 12 yrs old. Of course , they never accepted me for me.
@KarriSimone
8 ай бұрын
I can relate almost to the tee. I CAN UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING THIS CALLER HAS TO AND WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH. People can change after a bad behavior also so I do understand keeping it private and I pray that is the situation and she doesn't have to cary any guilt. As a traumatized child your reaction is completely normal. CPSTD IS REAL
@kuxica
9 ай бұрын
I hate the fact that you told the wrong people. Or maybe you did tell the right people. I was raped as a child. I was in a situation in which I thought I told the right people but they didn’t help. Eventually as an adult, I decided to confront my abuser in front of a group of the people in which they feel ally heard me and realized that I wasn’t joking about the situation. And then I realize that everyone handles these situations in different ways. You definitely need to heal. As a victim you need to heal and if your family decides to turn against you then you need yo really figure out what is best for your mental health. Stop blaming yourself and stop trying to find excuses for him before he does it to someone else that you love. Get yourself some help.
@katiehirsekorn3484
Жыл бұрын
My heart aches for the guest today ❤
@ChabelaFlips
Жыл бұрын
Multiple male cousins did this to me growing up starting at the age of about 5-6 years old.
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
My heart breaks for you. I hope you find the healing you need to move forward and live your best life.
@_JEBUS
Жыл бұрын
Tell everyone in your family they need to know so that children are not left alone with him. There is no cure for that kind of sickness. He will do it to his own children. Also if he never talked to her about it and personally apologized he doesn't regret it.
@user-misspoken
8 ай бұрын
I mean he was a kid too... Doesn't mean he is a pedo
@_JEBUS
8 ай бұрын
@@user-misspoken He absolutely is a pedo. He knew what he was doing. It's even more sickening to do it to a younger sibling. That's child abuse and it doesnt matter if he was a kid too. Abuse is abuse.
@user-misspoken
8 ай бұрын
@@_JEBUS dude go look up the definition of pedo . You literally have to be an adult goofy
@8thhousemoonrabbit205
Жыл бұрын
Maybe she should have him apologize, to her in writing and she should reach out to someone who specializes in therapy, with sexual criminals. If she wants to move forward, proactively somehow, in a space where practically only she and he knows, I think that would be helpful. - both for her potential peace of mind And protection, of the public. I don't think the victim, alone should be tasked to indict or vindicate, the abuser especially when they were trusted. I didn't want to offer speculation or platitudes because I can feel her suffering and sometimes, when we're in the middle of things we need options to be posed, so we can think outside our normal ranges🖤. I hope it helps anyone who might need it.
@ma-ma-mamary3946
Жыл бұрын
Or even if she writes a letter to him. Sometimes it's breaking the ice that's the hardest step.
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