Nice video. Relate heavily. I'm currently in cosmetology school, and one thing that I have learned is that 90+% of people have a complex about their hair. Literally no one likes their hair. And I'm talking people of all races, hair types, etc. I believe that this is because people are trying to fit into an image that doesn't belong to them. For example, on one day, we had a white guy with straight hair, come in for a perm (and he wanted SUPER tight coils) and a black woman with super tight coils come in for a relaxer. And it was so interesting to see the juxtaposition of that. If these two people would just let their hair do what it naturally wants to do, their hair would be so simple to manage. But because they want to alter it to fit a different standard (which is their right, not judging them at all) they have to engage in all this costly and time consuming maintenance. A lot of people who we think have "good hair" are just as frustrated with their hair as we (type 4 curlies) are with ours. Basically what I'm getting at, is that struggling to like your hair or struggling to manage your hair isn't an exclusively black or type 4 experience*. Once I realized this, it really made me look back at the ways I tried to fit my hair into a certain standard, when the people who fit the standard, weren't even happy about it! So I agree with your point that it's just hair, and that we shouldn't police how other black people choose to wear it and that it is very okay to have days when you don't like your hair. It's not our job as black people to constantly be self-affirming and self-loving. We can just exist like everyone else. On the subject of products. If you're planning on wearing your loose natural hair, I would recommend you get into wash and gos. I've been doing them for 2 years now and they do have a learning curve, but once you get, it literally changes your life. I would recommend checking out Just Tanoe, Yar Sudani, Curls Coils and Things, and Brittany Mia for tutorials and product recommendations. *disclaimer: yes I know our hair is racialized in ways that other people's hair isn't but the point remains that hair envy is very universal. As black people, we put ourselves down a lot for having hair envy and treat it as a sign of self-hate but literally every other race of people does it as well. We can relax.
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
CLAPS TO YOU- VERY WELL SAID. Thank you so much for sharing this detailed experience and perspective- i think often times than not, we can feel alone in this insecurity but it literally effects us all (regardless of race and hair type). I think the only source of contention in the black community is just that- the looming cloud of "good hair" has prohibited so many from just LIVING without this absurd attachment to their coils- It obviously takes time to break away from societal standards and pressures we place on ourselves within the community- but through time I think the idea of it becoming "just hair" will resonate where it needs to💗
@rosejames5172
Жыл бұрын
There is nothing wrong with black/ 4c hair. I have no idea why you people keep damaging your hair and stressing it out. Why is it so hard for y'all to just wash your hair, moisturise it, comb it and leave it alone?
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
There isnt! And i get to that point towards the end of the video! I think its just societal pressures and being unsure of oneself- its def a learning process for some when we lack representation- but nonetheless it takes some longer than others to be comfortable ☺️
@marleyhill34
Жыл бұрын
Due to genetics, My hair is very weak. I mean I could braid up and neglect it but that wouldn't feel good to me at all. I want to look after all of me from head to toe. It's a balance. This year I shaved off half into a Fro-hawk and got bleach-blond highlights.. It's actually less work because I only have half a head of hair. Lol! The only thing that changed from my usual routine was adding Oaplex no.3 every wash day instead of every 4-6 weeks.
@Ok-wb4du
4 ай бұрын
“You people” 💀
@Naiemah777
Жыл бұрын
I really needed this video because I just did a big chop like 2 days ago. It was definitely a manic episode.. but it’s done and now I need help and would love if you did a video on how you style your short hair!! ❤
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
Hi gorg! I can try my best to do a video on styling- BUT HONESTLY- i just let it do its thing 💗 Next wash day I can see if i can make something happen! Thank you so much for watching- and I GENUINELY HOPE this new phase treats you wonderfully 🫶🏾
@makeeblah
9 ай бұрын
first of all, your voice, omg so relaxing! your skin is everythinggg! you articulated a common experience so eloquently, so thank you for this video. i relate heavily.I was spiraling with the unhealthy attachment i had to my natural hair. i never straightened or relaxed it so when i finally stepped into caring for it in my late teens, the ego boost (especially from strangers) was all i feigned for (it took me so long to fully accept this). I think it became apparent when i could not attend an event without letting my hair down (so that i could receive the inevitable compliment). I remember this one time, this BLACK ?? guy was literally begging to touch my hair on this bus. Sooo I started my loc journey, got bored after my near 2 year mark and then chopped it off. kinda looked rough the couple of days before the barber's appointment. i even ironically chopped my locs off a few days before going on a date with a guy i was seeing at the time. he was clearly not feeling it (his goddamn obsession with the locs just proved why it didn't work out/wasn't the right one). I can't say how much i loved my fade era and color experimentation; it was truly a time, but it was time to start fresh yet again. stopped going to the barber in 2022 and it's been history ever since. if anything this journey has taught me, it's JUST hair as you said. I used to have such a military-like approach to natural hair, it's amazing how mindsets can change.
@adoni_3d
9 ай бұрын
Mindsets really do evolve- and thats what I love so much about exploring who I am and healing... but the part about cutting your hair right before a date- TRUE COLORS ARE SHOWN. I had a similar experience when I had my locs- the people I would entertain at the time... it was definitely giving if I cut them off we would be NO MORE- they were there for length lmao- we need a case study on why this occurs... its not like our face, personality, or overall being changes so whats the TEA???
@hereforit2347
11 ай бұрын
It really irritates me (it shouldn’t) that so many Black women have a problem with wearing their hair short. What bothers me most is when women cut their hair short just to “do something different” and immediately grow it back. It’s like short hair scares the sh*t out of us. We attach things like ugliness, masculinity, and everything negative we’ve been taught about ourselves and our appearance since we first made contact with the white man, to short natural hair, especially it it’s tightly coiled. For many, the only time short hair is acceptable on a Black woman is if it’s straight or straightened. I cut my hair very short and wore it natural in 1989 at the age of 25 for a couple of reasons. The main reason was I was tired of trying to conform to the European beauty standard imposed upon us since slavery. Two, I was frustrated with what was happening when I went to the salon, from getting too much hair “trimmed” to not getting the haircuts I asked for. I was trying to retain length (we didn’t use that term back then) and it wasn’t happening. The only time I got what I wanted was when I got a cut and press-and-curl at the Marinello School of Beauty once for $15.00 in 1980. Anyway, I wore my hair short for more than a decade. I grew it out to a bob a couple of times and grew it to my shoulders once during that time, but always cut it short again. Around 2010 I decided to try for long hair again and figured going to the salon regularly would help. All I got was frustration and heat damage. One of the stylists at the last salon I was going to was clearly natural and retaining length. In 2016 I decided all that heat wasn’t it and turned to KZitem to begin a hair health/growth journey in earnest. It worked. I’ll probably leave it long until I’m too old to fool with it, at which point I’ll go back to short hair. My point is, short hair is beautiful. It accentuates and elongates your neck and brings out your facial features. Somehow, most of us look prettier with short hair. It makes everything pop, from your eyes and lips to your jewelry and outfits. Short hair is sexy, jazzy, sophisticated, and VERY feminine. It’s also liberating. We can be as active as we want without worrying about our hair. Short hair saves time and usually money. It was great for me because I was a single mom with a full-time job. I never felt more beautiful than I did when I had short natural hair. ❤
@lana20173
Жыл бұрын
You are legit glowing thank you sm for this video. As a queer black woman I cut my hair low and it was so traumatic omg. I'm learning to accept myself and grow. New subscriber❤️
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
Yes!!! its def a learning experience in the beginning--- but you will come through the other side stronger than ever! 💗 im so proud of you🥰
@angelvenus-africa4161
11 ай бұрын
There is someone very close to me and she has been in the closet for years. She thinks I don't know, but I do she also has cut her hair several times extremely short. She's gone through her masculine side and , I said that she's beautiful as a feminine person. There's no reason I think for her to go so short to express her homosexuality. My opinion. Women can think another woman is beautiful without being gay.
@travelgirl7967
Жыл бұрын
Your title caught my eye coz all I could see was what I'd like, your perfect hairline/edges and perfect density. I've been literally contemplating getting a hair transplant for filling in my front hairline which is sparse due to sh*t genetics from both parents. In terms of my texture/curl pattern, it's perfect, it's 4a I think because it curls very easily. The crown sucks because it's a bit wiry and breaks easily. The back section is the best in texture and growth rate and density, I wish that was the front. I used to have 4c texture but after chemo 3 years ago, it grew back as 3c then over the last couple years, has settled into type 4 which is a gift for someone with low density hair. The coilyness camouflages and makes it look thicker, so shrinkage is my friend. Bottom line is, to love and appreciate what we do have.
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
You are absolutely correct, accepting and loving what we have is the best thing we can do for ourselves💗 I hope you continue to flourish in your journey, and thank you for sharing from your perspective as well💗
@PorsheNichelle
11 ай бұрын
Honey you hit every point! I wanna chop my hair off every other day 😂 the policing of the natural hair community is beyond annoying. I went from big chop to locs to almost being relaxed in the span of 2 years and mainly because it’s so many freakin RULES! Or not enough ppl who have my hair type I can watch on KZitem who isn’t talking about tail bone length hair! I lowkey miss the before the natural movement days cause hair really was just hair to me and it was THRIVING!
@mermaidtingzzz
3 ай бұрын
What rules? Girl is the wild, wild West, so what ya want! Lol. No frfr I’ve been thru so many hairstyles this last year. Yesterday I was looking for videos of ppl showing HOW they styled their hair during their grow out phase and all I got were “products to use/ tail bone length hair”. And I’m like I know what products I like and half them heffas didn’t have YT until the hair got long so no I’m not wasting time pining for someone else’s hair which they probably kept covered until it was “ideal”.
@papabless3200
Жыл бұрын
hearing you discuss your relationship and journey discovering your queerness through quarantine almost felt like a read because me too 😭 this video is so beautiful and relatable, absolutely love your vibes🫶🏾
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
Quarantine had me by the neck😔✋🏾. But its okay! Obviously we weren't the only ones coming to some personal conclusions LOL- thank you so much for watching i appreciate it so much🥰
@BionAvastar3000
Жыл бұрын
Why can't you put some water and leave-in and wetline? Just accept what your hair looks like with basic products :) Also, get a taper fade if you don't like your current shape.
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
Yeah! That was the point of the video more or less! I love the Aunt Jackies curl custard- its "gel" like and doesnt leave as much build up :)
@JenFindsGems
8 ай бұрын
Did we… did we just become best friends? 😂 So healing and therapeutic watching this video because a lot of your journey reminds me of my own. Thank you for being transparent and sharing and can’t wait to see more from you. Stay beautiful! 🫶🏾
@adoni_3d
8 ай бұрын
Girlll i think we did LOL!!! thank you so much for watching! Im glad we could relate to one another 🫶🏾
@SONGOHANXBEASTSSJ11
4 ай бұрын
AS A BLACKMEN YOUR HAIR BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS ❤❤❤❤OG
@jeaniethegenie7338
Жыл бұрын
I love this video,I cut my hair off about a year ago. I was 15 and I was extremely overwhelmed by my natural hair. I felt very insecure about wearing it and didnt do the best care of it.(dandruff)I cut it off like three times before this but this last time has been really rough for me to deal with loving my short natural hair while its growing .Ive been doing protective styles to hide it but I think Im gonna wear it out again ❤️
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
its never a linear process! I am so proud of you taking steps in the direction of hair/self care💗 if protective styles help you feel confident, by all means allow that confidence to seep through and when youre ready to wear your natural hair out, relish in it 🤗 (again, im so proud of you!! continue to give yourself time, space, and grace and do things when youre comfortable)
@bunnyblue9311
7 ай бұрын
Girl I couldn’t do it. My hair is a few inches from waist length that I’ve been growing for almost 6 years. I just love my hair to much to justify cutting it but I commend you for being able to cut your hair off whenever you feel the need to or too cut out bad energy in your life.
@Brandiisbeloved
4 ай бұрын
right. I feel Like I put too much sweat,tears and years for it to all go down the drain
@Lesedi_Gololo
9 ай бұрын
You’re absolutely stunning 😍
@adoni_3d
8 ай бұрын
thank you so much 🤍
@Tionaintown876
Жыл бұрын
My hair is like yours but I’m very light skin soooo, not black enough for the black girls and not ambiguous enough for the ambiguous girls
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
I can understand that being a struggle! But just know youre beautiful and more than enough!!✨🫶🏾
@Tionaintown876
Жыл бұрын
@@adoni_3d thank you so much you’re so kind
@XmeimeisworldX
4 ай бұрын
As someone who has cut my their off over 4x and only loved it the last time. Learn how to be comfortable being black n you’ll feel a lot better.
@cyyrious
11 ай бұрын
Alfalfa or Buckwheat lol … I get it since I remember going natural in 2001 I didn’t think men would find me attractive but I can honestly say there were quite a few that did. But now I don’t want to go back to the twa awkward stage especially with 4c hair.
@bunnybear9883
Жыл бұрын
I’m sorry for your loss ❤❤❤
@francis342
Жыл бұрын
You look beautiful. 😊
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
thank you💗
@deliacrawford6626
Жыл бұрын
Preach! I needed this message so much. Thank you 🙂
@FujishimaAkiko
Жыл бұрын
I hope everyone can love their hair... I used to hate mine so much... I'm Black and Ainu, and envied my mother's hair because of the time I grew up in, mostly the 80s and 90s, I'm the younger end of GenX. I'm an ADHDer and in the LGBTQIA+ community... But at my age, I see things so differently....
@marleyhill34
Жыл бұрын
Same I was born in 1981. My hair is the way it is because I'm a thalassemia carrier and neurodivergent and take psychiatric drugs. it makes it weak and prone to breakage and I've developed a sensitive scalp from the stress. I actually get frustrated when my hair starts to get long. I cut off half in a fro-hawk this summer...I don't think I received that many compliments in my life about my hair!!! And I only have half a head of hair...Lol!
@latoyaferguson3566
Жыл бұрын
I’m gonna go outside of this and say if u want to see how you feel about it why not just try a short short wig? That’s a big BIG try on( the big chop). Sometimes health meds and diets among other things causes hair to not grow so fast. However I LOVE LOVE LOVE short hair! Actually I love all styles !
@nyajosma
Жыл бұрын
I loved this and I relate sm as a queer black person w short natural hair, you ate w this
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
thank you so much for watching my love 💕 being queer and black IS DEF an experience... trying to find hair styles that are gender affirming is EXTREMELY difficult, but becoming more neutral about my hair has changed that for me! Im so happy you could relate, i hope you stick around 🫶🏾
@msch3891
4 ай бұрын
Your hair is beautiful 😍.
@sagehalpkins2754
Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. And you are sooo beautiful. I'm crushingggg
@adoni_3d
Жыл бұрын
Awww you're so kind 🤍 thank you for watching!
@victoriamensah2635
Ай бұрын
🩷🩷🩷Loved this video
@lawabidingcitizen.
Жыл бұрын
Yes they do😂
@jennituxx
Жыл бұрын
Relatable
@genovasquez8361
9 ай бұрын
meanwhile i h8 not being able to find women with hair like yours. alls i got to choose from heat straighten hair braids weave i cant stand these hairhat hooligans styles.
@JungKook-ct2su
5 ай бұрын
Black hair is so hard to work with. It’s like a curse , and proof that maybe there isn’t a god because who would give us this hair to work with.? But fr at least she tried. I have same issues , it sucks
@jesusisgodislove9912
4 ай бұрын
The Bible states God has hair like wool. It's definitely not a curse, we're the only people with this texture & that's unique
@XmeimeisworldX
4 ай бұрын
You lot are mad
@phizzy123
3 ай бұрын
i empathize with your frustration, but be careful with the words that you use, they can be curses, and binding ones at that. this was a very strong statement you made. i hope that you will find healing and change your perspective in due time.
@WTFVIDSok
9 ай бұрын
You're missing the point. Society is policing our hair. Clearly. That's why there's legislation regarding hair discrimination. So the natural instinct is to not ruffle feathers, right? For us, not ruffling feathers and assimilating is looking as close to Caucasian as possible. Other societies, such as Asian and Indian also experience this. While many might feel comfortable wearing straight hair, there's a reason for that.
@adoni_3d
9 ай бұрын
I think two things can be true at once- social constructions do obviously create limitations and in this case for Black hair, the desire to assimilate etc. however, its also our job to de-stigmatize and shift those norms that no longer serve us. Thats the point I was trying to make (as its specific to me, so you do not by ANY MEANS have to agree) that sometimes its okay for our hair to be just hair and what we do to it is of no ones concern 🫶🏾 thank you so much for commenting and bringing attention to discrimination/assimilation!!
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