I wish my social anxiety let me even have a job... but I cant... im 24 and ive had small jobs but not long lasting ones and I haven't worked in like 2 years or something... because every time I think about getting a job or applying, I get hit with this wave of anxiety that I just wanna cry, now imagine how I would be in an actual job?? I still feel like a child... I cant really imagine myself being able to work in a cafe, or a store or anything... how do people my age do this? I know im a disappointment to my mom and that's what kills me.. I guess I need therapy but I don't have money lol its all a cycle... and its killing me... I think that if I had a friend at the job I would apply for that would always be there to help me, I could do it, but like this.... everything feels so scary.. I wanna cry just thinking about it
@PikaP0ka
3 жыл бұрын
your words were my exact words back then and even still cross me now. i have therapy for specifically this goal of mine to at least be able to get a job which i finally was able to (first day was yesterday) . what i learnt through therapy was to catch my brain telling me i cant do this that and to catch myself when i want to run away. clearly, social situations are our discomfort so we easily get into the mind of running away cause we feel relaxed but we have to face the reality that in order to get through this we have to be exposed to situations that make us uncomfortable to become better. at work i wanted to run away cause my anxiety was so high but i told my anxiety self to shut up i can do this and read positive affirmations. you can do this, its never too late. they say when you look at a dark abyss, it stares back at you. i believe in you, and if i was like you and was able to get a job (especially at a busy store) you can too. much love and always remember to be appreciative and proud of yourself for even the smallest interactions you stand through!!!!
@lookits_fran
3 жыл бұрын
@@PikaP0ka 😭😭😭😭😭 i wanted to cry reading this..... I've been seriously thinking of going to therapy to fix this and give me courage to get a job because i really want to change my life ...... But i feel like the more time passes and especially because its been years,the more i get stuck into this hole .....and being at home is a comfort so having to face my fears is so uncomfortable... And makes me wanna cry...😢😢😢😢😢
@Jake_The_Bake
2 жыл бұрын
Know the feeling 😬 but be strong and keep going, life holds Something amazing for you, and of course a good job you can be satisfied doing 💪🏾😉 Greetings from Denmark
@Iamme516
2 жыл бұрын
I feel this way right now. I applied to a few jobs, one contact me back but I am too scare to call them about the job. It's really depressive to be this way.
@heavenforney3830
Жыл бұрын
Hi, I know how you feel! May I suggest a night shift cleaning position. Usually after training you're pretty much just left to clean alone until your shift is over. You might come across one or two people depending on where you are cleaning. But it will make you feel better once you get the first payday. I'd suggest looking into future careers you can work from home as a graphic designer with some college. Remember you are awesome and you can do this!
@moreatastic4590
Жыл бұрын
This is the reason I’m unemployed now unfortunately…and it’s ten times worse to feel like this being a man don’t know what to do at this point :(
@SamFisherCell
3 жыл бұрын
You seem so sweet. I have social anxiety too, and it fucking sucks. It can literally destroy your whole life if you let it.
@kittycatmeoww123
2 ай бұрын
this is exactly how I feel... even greeting the customers is awkward and challenging for me and it really makes me exhausted by the end of the day
@i0073
3 жыл бұрын
I can relate to this too, social anxiety makes me feel awkward too and I also feel like I look bad in front of people. At times it gets to the point where I can’t physically speak so I also stutter or the words just don’t come out from being uptight from the anxiety. I feel like I’m at the same point you mentioned where I want to quit but then looking for a new job and going through that whole process makes my anxiety worse.
@sweetpea644
Жыл бұрын
Same. Still at my first job I've had since 18, since my parents wanted me to have one one while I attended university. But ever since graduating, I'm still there at 22. The only employee who was my age quit, so it's just me and two or three others on the schedule. Used to only do 2 days a week alongside classes, which I was fine with, but now I'm doing 5 or 6 days at a monotonous retail job I'm starting to realize is wasting months of my young life. I've thought about quitting to spend more time on art and media, which is my true passion, but I'm afraid of technically being labeled as "unemployed". Not a huge risk, since I live at home, but I guess it's the one thing that makes me appear "normal". It makes me miserable, I'm anxious to go in, almost guaranteed I'll be called in on my day off, and the energy is sucked out of me so bad I can't focus on my creative pursuits. On the plus, it's easy and I spend a lot of time by myself. But is it really worth potential panic attacks? Probably not. When I have to manage the register all by myself for 10 to 20 minutes, it's a death sentence, hoping nobody walks into the store. I always mess something up dealing with customers directly and when somebody gets upset with me, I shut down and feel horrible. I can't stop thinking about this old guy who screamed at me while he was also talking on the phone. I'm sick of being awkward and dead inside in a professional setting, I need to move on and take advantage of my interests. I don't think I was built for this, and I completely understand why.
@dexie135
Ай бұрын
i also in the same condition. i've been working for 3 years in the same monotonous job. this is my first ever job. and i got it from my parrents (because i'm too afraid to apply for a job). but now i already too bored with this job. and i'm sure people questioning why i still loyal to this job. the only reason is, because even after 3 years of experience on this job. i still didn't change much. i'm still afraid to apply for a new job. i feel like i didn't have skill enough to apply for a new job. or a company to accept me. i already fed up here, especially i didn't connect with anyone. didn't grow much as a person and i have another career that i always dreamed of and my age just turn 27 (which 3 years ahead my youth will be over) i don't wanna waste my youth by stuck on this till 30
@justdance4750
2 жыл бұрын
Everything you said is exactly what I thought of when I worked as a barista. I like to think everything else is happening in slow motion while we overanalyze a moment 20x over. Especially during the silences between interactions with customers/coworkers. Thanks for sharing and I hope you’re well.
@bluesteel1
2 жыл бұрын
power to you ... 2 weeks into my first job my SA is acting up .... its nice to know im not alone in this .. its tough being around extroverted colleagues
@mikes7446
2 жыл бұрын
Wow I’m going through this. I’ve been working for 7 months and I don’t really talk to most of my coworkers.
@amithebrand5095
Жыл бұрын
Totally relate. Just left the office after arriving just an hour ago because my anxiety was uncontrollable. So disappointed in myself! 😢
@helenwalker654
Жыл бұрын
I cannot keep a job becuase of my social anxiety disorder I overthink and it makes small task difficult I find it really hard connecting with coworkers and my boss people always think I'm awkward and rude becuase I don't talk to them I'm trying to get help but I feel so hopeless.
@mikes7446
2 жыл бұрын
Damn my coworkers are different race, age and just everything you mentioned and I’m just not comfortable opening up to most of them. I work for a medical company and it can feel like being in High school all over again. Coworkers have their groups etc. work has given me so much anxiety “ lunch and breaks “ I feel like quitting. I feel like you talked about how I feel in this video
@techh9171
4 ай бұрын
I'm 24 and I have severe social anxiety Im not even applying to jobs as I fear giving interviews. I work online it doesn't pay much but for now im good. I just need to build confidence which I'm trying.
@blackmonalisa9732
2 жыл бұрын
I'm glad I ran into this video because I have severe anxiety and ADHD and I'm like two types of people because with anxiety I'm socially awkward, self- isolation,and don't know how to keep up with A conversation... then I have ADHD and I want to be talkative, hyper and myself.... and I truly think I annoy ALL my teal member and been there for 2 year an A half and ready to leave.... thankfully I have A job interview coming and I just take my job as A learning experience of my do's And dont's.... Pray for me!
@Wing-wh5ih
2 жыл бұрын
Good Luck!
@jstoy7830
Жыл бұрын
you have such calm and cool demeanor and you’re very articulate - i would never guess that you have social anxiety. thank you for sharing.
@tshiamotshabalala7782
Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry you feel this way and your experience is real. Although, I cannot relate to it (I'm loud, perceived as confident and outgoing).That said, it is evident that it causes much distress and impairment in your life. It seems that you are committed to doing your work well. That I can relate to. Being assiduous is good, but perfectionism is not. In fact, it is part of the issue and if you could be easier on yourself, you may feel somewhat at ease and realize that people may not be judging your every move. Alternatively, challenging negative thoughts and judgements could also help you to become less sensitive/emotionally reactive to them. Easier said than done. But from my snapshot view of the situation-I think YOU are passing most of the judgement (maybe it stems from being judged by someone else in the past, but right now it's YOU being mean to YOURSELF). I hope this is well-received. It will take time, patience and support to learn this and maintain this kindness to oneself in order to feel less socially awkward. Essentially, you want to feel like you deserve to be in a room, speak (and be heard) and make gestures (and be seen/felt) just as much as the person next to you.
@rambo7135
10 ай бұрын
I can relate. For example i worked at a job for 10 years and there were many new people joining tge team over the years. And an outsider would think those people had been there longer than me. Through trial and error ive found easy jobs where i dont have to interact with people too much. My last job, i was working fully remote which was ideal! Also had a job where i was just scanning documents and i was on my own a lot. It was so laid back. No one checking on me. Ive had so many jobs over the years too. In the last 2 years ive walked out on 3 jobs because of my social anxiety. It felt awkward because people were interacting and i felt even more self conscious. Also another issue is i find it really hard to ask for help at work. Logically you would think that by asking questions would help but i have to muster all the courage i have just to ask a question about the work. Sorry to hear youre going through this.
@treshumphrey6433
2 жыл бұрын
Omg I feel the exact same way having social anxiety makes my life a living hell I literally have 0 friends I wanna get into therapy but I have no money..I’m stuck I recently just started a new job at a call center in hopes of overcoming this because I’ll be talking to people all day I’m trying to push myself I’m only going into my second week of training tho so we’ll see how it goes I’ve kinda been forcing myself to sit with people at lunch and breaks and not go off by myself so I think that’s kind of a step but even in that situation I feel so awkward and uncomfortable and don’t know what to say I’m just sitting there most of the time looking dumb
@fgblvn7696
11 ай бұрын
Thank you for the video, that's exactly what I was looking for, thanks for sharing your experience. You're not alone, I have the same problem. I'm so scared to get employed as a barista, but I just need a job and want to also get some café experience - I don't know why but I just feel like I need to try it, although every cell in my body is against it
@zoeng9026
2 жыл бұрын
Ah. I work in a collaborative structure creating digital products and I suffered from social anxiety from the longest time. What I’ve told myself is that everyone is just human. Has their own fears and anxieties they are just better at hiding it than us. I also try to remind myself to not think about me too much. But start thinking about others. You’ll naturally project yourself as not the main character because people like us tend to overanalyse everything about ourselves and hence painfully self aware which eats us up as we care too much about how we are perceived. It’s okay to be a little foolish sometimes or make mistakes. What I do is I just learnt to laugh it off and ask how to fix this moving forward and not feel too bad with myself. Along the years, I just learnt and also accepted that I’m better individually than in groups. Find chances to mingle with people on a more private scale 1:1 example to build meaningful rapport so next time it’s easier to approach them around their presence. I am exactly the same as you. But let’s take baby steps together.
@KeybladeHeart
2 жыл бұрын
I’ve been working from home for the last 3 months for a call center and it’s been great we only communicate thru chat and non camera zoom meetings. But in a month we have to go back to the office and it terrifies me. I like to keep to myself but I worry if I do people there will think I’m conceited. I’m so happy being at home but I don’t know if I can continue with this job if I have to go to the office every day.
@Wing-wh5ih
2 жыл бұрын
I wish I can work from home, that'd be like heaven. Hopefully your office doesn't force you to go back and instead let you decide.
@weeklydaily4775
2 жыл бұрын
@@Wing-wh5ih I also have severe social anxiety. It's fascinating how you speak so freely on KZitem. By me I also have certain situations in which I'm comfortable and then in other places I get completely frozen up. It's courageous and brave of you to share. To me your very likeable and I really mean that!
@jdd1110
3 ай бұрын
Its ok i totally understand i work retail and it sucks
@rosemiller6388
Жыл бұрын
I have a similar issue, but for me I have no problem interacting with customers, it’s the coworkers that I have trouble with and can’t really relate to them which is why I don’t really speak or interact with most of them. I know they talk about me behind my back and it does hurt.
@GamingMan247
Жыл бұрын
I never thought id find a video that I could relate to more than this
@nico3144
2 жыл бұрын
I got fired from working at a coffee shop at the age of 16 , my boss said I didn't learn fast enough and was too stressed. I remember feeling almost sick before going to work from so much anxiety all the time. I felt like shit lol. Social anxiety sucks.
@ellemc7257
2 жыл бұрын
Im super self conscious about my voice and my tone of voice when talking to customers bc i feel like my anxiety makes me seem rude sometimes. Where i work loads of snobby middle aged mums come in and there SO judgemental and they always all talk about me and the other staff. I work in a small soft play area so there all regualrs and its in a super snobby location. Also i have to talk to the kids and do kids groups with them and sometimes its rlly awkward talking to the kids bc idk wtf ur meant to say to kids and i cant do the baby voice. But i need money and i mean i need to just keep pushing myself bc if i dont push myself i will never get over the anxiety/fear, eventually hopefully my mind relises that im just overthinking and that no one really cares if my voice sounds low or my voice broke.
@Wing-wh5ih
2 жыл бұрын
Sorry you're surrounded by all these Karens. I'm not good with kids either but I think my nephew is helping me learn how to interact with them.
@lillianp8900
2 жыл бұрын
My gosh I relate to this 100 percent. Live with it everyday and it's mentally draining, they say it's common but I don't believe it. I've met very few people who have it and everyone else does not understand it or even know what it is. I get angry because I just want to be normal and talk freely like everyone else. When at home or with people I'm close too, it's the only time I feel free. Every relationship I've made at work has been with other quiet people or people with a more calm presence, they make it easier to talk to them. So at every job I usually find at least one person I can kinda get to know : (
@blackmonalisa9732
2 жыл бұрын
Just know its okay to communicate with A few folks & understand you don't have to be friends with all your coworkers, just be respectful and kind towards others to get through your day of work
@nicolesamsonite
Жыл бұрын
Wow, i feel like you've described me to a tee. Im looking into getting therapy. I really hope it helps, but it is scary.
@pokedude2238
2 жыл бұрын
hope you found something more suitable. Currently I’m in a simiy rut and tbh I’m deep down there.. words can’t fix my situation but I just would rather avoid the staff cus I mean I guess somewhere they mean well but these expectations are pretty high like it’s not but idk words are hard yo
@cyber_chlozza
Жыл бұрын
wow… I just came across your other video and decided to watch this one, funnily enough I worked as a barista too for 8 months. I can relate with not being able to talk to people… I couldn’t keep jobs for more than 6 months sadly…
@Wing-wh5ih
Жыл бұрын
Yeah I usually start questioning if I'm gonna stay in a place at the 6 month mark but so far I've managed to stay for a year in this current job. I think I'll start feeling even more self conscious about how quiet I am at the 2 year mark if I ever reach it.
@jordonconaghan739
3 жыл бұрын
had the exact same problem working in retail
@SpiritualityLife77
2 жыл бұрын
I can relate to that. Because of my social anxiety I hv zero friends until now. Btw, I'm 40s now. Don't know what's wrong with me...
@pterodactylwarrior7208
Жыл бұрын
Same here also I'm waiting for your next video
@__kikiadore
3 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way.
@quanathan
3 жыл бұрын
do you not like jobs where you can be alone ? would you rather not do that ?
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
I wish there was a job out there where I can work and be alone most of the time. I work at the cafe alone on the weekends which make things easier.
@quanathan
3 жыл бұрын
@@Wing-wh5ih i forreal feel you, its so draining, im tryna get my ecommerce shit running so i dont ever got to meet anyone in real life for money again hahaha, sigggh people just be weird to be around, and thats too overwhelming to be dealing with different people and other's emotions and other's problems everday while trying to work, too much
@quanathan
3 жыл бұрын
@parttimeart8729
3 жыл бұрын
👎🙌 ! I lost two jobs because of it
@xxmushisushixx1049
2 жыл бұрын
What exactly did they say?
@ScreenFax
3 жыл бұрын
It’s nice to relate to somebody on this situation. It’s same exact thing for me. Awkwardness makes me dread every morning I have to go into work. Totally understand and relate. We can get thru it tho.
@gooblegraysha
3 жыл бұрын
I’m finding this at work atm too. I’m a house painter and I’ve been working with a new crew for about the same amount of time as you. (8 months) I just can’t get myself to feel comfortable around any of my coworkers and I always feel on edge. Really lacking confidence in my skills as well.. even though I’m fully qualified. Everything is so much more difficult with social anxiety and depression :( I feel for you wing. You’re not alone
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks Taylor :) I too lack confidence in myself when I work even though I know how certain things could be done better. I wish I was a bit more assertive so I can actually change things for the better at work.
@DaRealRon
2 жыл бұрын
@@Wing-wh5ih have you tried medicine
@effortless4588
10 ай бұрын
@@Wing-wh5ihJust know you are an amazing person don’t be so harsh on yourself while watching this video you expressed yourself beautifully! It hurts the most when you are the one also being harsh to yourself on top of some other people!💜
@Lyenye
3 жыл бұрын
I have OCD and social anxiety. My daughter has social anxiety. It's more common than you think. It took me a lot of years to learn to find ways to deal with this and still be a part of society. What I finally decided was this. I am okay the way I am and I don't have to explain or apologize to anyone for being me. I'm polite and reliable and have always had a good work ethic. If I'm not good enough for someone, that's on them, not me. I suggest you give yourself a break and accept who you are, and who you are is wonderful! Step outside your comfort zone now and again so you can grow and it will keep you from shrinking your world and being lonely. But, accept who you are and love yourself. I have friends who know how I am and it doesn't matter to them. My daughter has friends who understand her and they are close. If you think like I did, you see others as being "better" than you because they can easily chat with anyone. That comparison puts tons of pressure on you and it won't help, it will hinder. Be kind to yourself!
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for telling me your story Kathy :) I appreciate the advice you gave me as well. I like it when you said it's on other people if you're not good enough for them. Sometimes I do feel like certain people don't deserve me yet here I am feeling like an idiot worrying about what they might think of me.
@Lyenye
3 жыл бұрын
@@Wing-wh5ih Everyone worries a little about what others think of them. That's normal, I think. Just know you are good just as you are. Strive to grow, always, but you are wonderful as is.
@blackmonalisa9732
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your comment I needed so much , you really encouraged me!
@anemoia3603
Жыл бұрын
You make introverted customers happy tbh, we don't mind non-chatty employees, in fact I'm grateful for them esp. in cafes when I want to just unwind ❤️
@zanifeliafelia2355
3 жыл бұрын
thank you for sharing. I often feel like i am the only one dealing with this... i get so stressed before i go to work and, the minute I arrive, all i can think about is going home. Its just so awkward. I sometimes try to talk to the staff but i am just so boring and serious that i think that trying to talk makes it even worse.
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Yeah it's very exhausting to force yourself to interact with people when you have nothing in common. Some people can just talk about whatever with anyone and to me it's like magic.
@angt9367
3 жыл бұрын
Listen. It’s not you, it’s them, as far fetched as it sounds. Somehow I came to realizing thats this society (and I am an immigrant) makes it seem as if it’s not alright to be quiet at times and not even smiling. It had hit me like a brick. I was outgoing as a teen and relatively social both in high school and college and then I moved and then I realized to 70% of people out here I’m “this and that”. (Quiet was the word yeah) well but I am not. I speak when I have something to say, how about that? What happened to some common sense? I honestly refuse to understand this concept of conforming. If you have nothing to say you don’t say anything. But, for some reason people expect you to fake it, to come up with something every damn second. It’s not healthy. They preach “be yourself” when all it means is “hey can you be fake for me some more?!” No B’.. ch I ain’t gonna fake it, I am myself, don’t like it, piss out. Again, I say something when I have something to say. Lots of times my mind is blank, cause working at hotel front desk taught me one thing and one thing only, I hate society. And yeah, remember How I said I used to be outgoing? Nope, not no more! Because of my outgoing” job. I hate people, I hate them staring at me, I hate them being rude and I hate them expecting me to entertain them in any way. It wasn’t always like that but hey, work at a hotel enough, you’ll find out. I notice you label yourself. Listen people, don’t label yourself introverted, or reserved or quiet. I guarantee you, you are as loud as you can be given the right circumstances. Do not accept the labels. You’re fine. You are polite. You aren’t spitting in anyone’s face and you do your job. You aren’t accepted however for being you and that is what you feel when you saying you feel the awkwardness and it’s draining. I’ll offer you some perspective, it’s just you being you in that giving moment okay? F..k them all. It’s okay not to talk about yourself damned. I’m so annoyed by everyone feeling the need to be in everyone’s damn business. I could write a whole essay on this stuff. But, be you even if that means them staring at you like you are an alien. I know that feeling girl and yes, when you have a chance, get another job. On social anxiety, after doing all the meds possible; SA is a plague, a curse it’s an oil stain. Sorry you have it. I truly am. Try Tyrosine and Passion flower. I don’t know about you but After trying some therapy I told her to go f herself too. I mean I was polite, but I realized all the non sense of going thru the past experiences was just that, NoNsense. At least she prescribed Zoloft. Don’t try it. Be you and it’s okay.
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Ang, thanks for your comment. It sounds like your job is very toxic and is taking a toll on your mental health. I've never worked in front office in a hotel but I have worked in a hotel and one time someone took a shit in front of the hotel and one of the concierge ladies had to clean it up. I can only imagine what you have to go through when dealing with demanding people on a daily basis. Hope you're doing well. Take care.
@thebronzejade7342
3 жыл бұрын
I dislike the idea of conforming as well. However, I do think it’s beneficial to exchange simple pleasantries like simple greetings, acknowledgements and using manners. But beyond that, I feel like most people expect you to socialize regardless of how you feel or whether what you’re saying is improtant or not. Most of my conversations feel empty and feel like chores. I don’t have any real interest in talking about anything unless I have similar interests and feel comfortable expressing myself, or I have a burning desire to say whats on my mind. If I say anything that dont fall into those catagories, its simply to make myself feel more at ease and to not fall into the weird catagory.
@blackmonalisa9732
2 жыл бұрын
RIIIIGGGHTTT even though I had anxiety in middle school and highschool my social anxiety became fully aware when I had my first adult job.... but I'm learning
@xxmushisushixx1049
2 жыл бұрын
This is exactly what I tell myself that I wish others could hear, I feel fake and not being myself when I am expected to make the workplace fun and entertaining, like i’m suppose to have a conversation with people. In school my dad always taught me you go to school to learn not make friends, teachers told me to not talk and pay attention, and the world taught me to always be myself. However it feels like those rules were violated, I do those things now and I still don’t feel accepted.
@lialy3071
2 жыл бұрын
damn your comment is crazy thanks for that I def feel you
@composer772
3 жыл бұрын
i’m 15 and i have a job interview for mcdonald’s. this is my first job and i’m so afraid to even go that i might not go 😩 i want money but this social anxiety is making it so hard for me
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Composer, good on you for even applying for a job. I got my first job when I was 19 through my mom's connections. The first interview is always going to be scary regardless of social anxiety. So prepare your answers and just go for it. It will get easier for you as time goes on and as you get more practice. Have a good one and good luck 👍
@faaizVO
Жыл бұрын
Thanks for making this video! Im a 32 year old barista from London and I’ve gone through 90% of what you’ve mentioned. Hope you’re well 🙏🏾
@max1ne_campb3ll
3 жыл бұрын
I'm 19 and lost my current job that I had for 3 years that I got from my step sister that ran a cleaning business and because they're moving on from that now I need to find another job and I'm super scared to even apply for any. I don't know how I'm going to cope with another job when the one I had I didn't need to be around so many people. I appreciate you sharing your situation and wish you the best
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Hey there, good job for even holding a job for that long. I've never held a job for more than 2 years. Maybe you can find a job similar to your old job? Since you're only 19 you can always try something new. Good luck!
@max1ne_campb3ll
3 жыл бұрын
@@Wing-wh5ih Thank you so much 😊
@an6350
3 жыл бұрын
have you gotten one yet?
@max1ne_campb3ll
3 жыл бұрын
@@an6350 no, not yet I'm currently looking at applying online to places but I haven't heard back yet.
@TKGriffiths
3 жыл бұрын
I relate to this. Except I've been working here for almost 7 years! Everyone's very nice, and because I'm so used to the place I don't get overtly anxious anymore like I used to at first. But I still have trouble having a real conversation, with all except one. Luckily for me one of those 'right people' you talked about started working here about 2 years ago, someone I actually feel comfortable talking to. And I also happen to share an office with her so I'm very grateful for that. It's funny that you talk about 'cultures' because I often feel the most uncomfortable around people of my own culture (Welsh). The people I've felt most comfortable with throughout my life have almost always been outside of my own culture. Either non-Welsh speakers, or even a foreigner (Polish) when it comes to the person I now share an office with. Maybe there's something comforting about having some kind of cultural barrier between people, maybe I feel more 'exposed' around people of my own culture because I'm worried they'll be able to notice my problems more easily. What's the longest you've worked somewhere before moving on? Maybe you've just never stayed anywhere long enough to overcome the initial awkwardness and develop something of a 'second family' environment where the awkwardness and anxiety is naturally lower.
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
The longest I've worked is probably 2 years. And that's because I got along quite well with the people there. I sorta understand why you would feel uncomfortable around people of your own culture. My case my not be the same as yours but a lot of chinese people like to speak mandarin to me but I'm not fluent in mandarin since it's not my first language. But then again it also feels weird for them to speak to a chinese person in english. Even if they do speak my first language (cantonese) I don't like it because I feel like I'm isolating everyone else who doesn't speak our language.
@samantha7008
2 жыл бұрын
I’m currently 17 and my moms wanting me to get a job, she doesn’t really understand why I won’t and all I’ve been doing is watching videos and researching how I can get over this anxiety. I’m also starting my senior year at a new school which doesn’t help anything. I’m trying so hard to push my self and get a job but it’s that anxiety that’s always making me think the worst about what could happen or if something goes wrong and it’s the worst. It’s comforting that theres other people who are in similar situations but it also sucks that we feel this way yk
@levihudson1274
2 жыл бұрын
Anxiety is tough for me too. But we have to keep going.
@effortless4588
10 ай бұрын
I could relate very well said video
@FaeiryneFaun
3 жыл бұрын
I know you're not working rn, but when you said you can't talk to your coworkers about these issues it kind of got my gears turning. I wonder what would happen if you did? It sounds like you have one foot out the door anyway, so you wouldn't have much to lose and the best case scenario is they can offer support. Although I know that talking about anxiety is the most anxiety inducing thing in the world sometimes, so realistically I totally understand why you wouldn't
@strangerinastrangeworld.9855
2 жыл бұрын
I know exactly how that feels! I'm on my fourth week and it's been extremely awkward and I hate it! And who ever I talk to, usually never talks to me again, unless they have to, for work related reasons. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm 35 years old and a male. And believe it or not, this is my fourth job, in this past 2 years. I decided I'd get some professional help again and see what happens, will take medication if I have to, starting next week. Because I've been trying almost everything else I hear or read about and nothing seem to help. I felt some relief knowing that there are others who is going through the same difficulties, one of which most people don't understand or care about. Wish you and all the best.
@ericaphelps6017
5 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for posting this. It is nice not to feel alone dealing with social anxiety. It's exhausting.
@effortless4588
10 ай бұрын
Subbed
@GamersXnostalgia
Ай бұрын
I have to work with one other person at my job, and its unbearable. I have to work to survive, but sitting there for minutes on end til another customer comes in sucks. I do extra hours and shifts because I hate staying home doing nothing, but then i get to work and hate being there. Im not talkative, i hate being social, I'm the type of person to sit quietly and enjoy it. It irritates me when people force conversation, if i dont want to talk, that won't make the situation feel any less awkward. The only job that was recommended to me where i live is flying to a mine, and do two weeks in and out, that sounds horrible for me. Being literally and figuratively trapped sounds like hell
@hannahhoang299
Жыл бұрын
I have social anxiety too and the ppl I call parents don't have any understanding or compassionate towards me, they treat me even less than a dog, u know everyday they talk all kinds of evill and wicked words towards me while I battling alone with my disorders! After all I feel so dissapointed and angry towards them😡😡🤬
@lachousalle31
Жыл бұрын
I understand how you feel. I work at a group home where there's a lot of down time and it's always just me and the other staff sitting in a living room together. Every day it's awkward and quiet, I never know what to talk about and at times it's so bad where I feel like it's hard to breathe. Chest tightness tension in my left shoulder. It just feels so unnatural to be corralled into a room with other people for hours and hours. It feels like I'm on the autism spectrum whenever I'm at work.
@memod6642
Жыл бұрын
I have had anxiety for years and I have gotten better . The key is to do what you don't want to do. Example if you get around people and you feel like you don't want to talk , you should talk. Another if you don't want to go out , go out. It may be hard but you will in time notice your not anxious. Always to prepared. Example if you have to give school presentation, prepare yourself alot before. When the time comes for you to give the presentation, if you don't want to do it even if your voice tremble. Just think in your mind I am going to do this. Each time you conquer your urge to not do something, anxiety weakens. Remind yourself that you don't care what anyone thinks of you. Try it I promise it works.
@marlongrabandt8161
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for speaking about this. Applied for my first job (I just turned 22) and it’s calming to hear that I’m not the only one feeling this way
@tameyofujoshi
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for posting this, i feel exactly the same right now, idk what to do either and feel tiredd
@Vassasu
3 жыл бұрын
What it seems to me is that you do well with small bits of socializing. I also get my energy drained really fast so i dont do well with crowds/too much interaction. Did you stop making music? Thanks for sharing.
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for commenting :) I'm thinking about making a separate channel for my song covers so this channel doesn't become a mess of random videos.
@Thembs154
7 ай бұрын
I wish i could hug you I experience the same thing 😢😢
@LilShaq144
2 жыл бұрын
I’m not sure if you still are working at your current job but start small and gradually work on your social skills. 😊 Reason probably why it’s also hard for you is because there are only a number of people working with you, so there isn’t alot of room for social improvement. Don’t doubt yourself and keep going no matter How difficult it seems! ❤
@jdd1110
3 ай бұрын
Just push forward dont let it beat you
@iTzShakenJoE
3 жыл бұрын
just put yourself in a situation where you're forced to talk, and be around people... I somewhat have it, but I deal with wealthy people's money now... so I'm forced to be in a situation where I need to talk....I put myself in a public speaking class too, and I forced myself to talk in front of people. I was shaking every minute, but I did it. it's hard but you can do this!!! I'm cheering with you..We all suffer from it a little ..
@Zorriel
2 жыл бұрын
I still come back to your channel to see how you're doing. This video was so reassuring. I grew up watching you in high school back when I was a loner sitting in the hallways, and my social anixety still isn't great though has improved. And to know that you managed to get a job as a barista with social anxiety, aaaa... makes me feel like I can do it too. I want that job, and I'm gonna try to get it.
@olliegeorge96
2 жыл бұрын
I came across this video by chance and the raw way you're telling us about your social anxiety is beyond relatable. I quit my last job for a multitude of reasons such as bad management, lack of confidence in the job and communicating with colleagues. I left my job and haven't been back into work for over a year because of the fact I am scared to start again and won't find people I love to work with or enjoy the job. As a 25 year old I feel so stuck in the way I socialise with strangers or just people I am around, in the fear I will embarrass myself or come across as awkward or strange. My therapist talks a lot about breaking the cycle of being self-critical and putting pressure on myself, I have recently began volunteering which is so refreshing to be in a working situation that isn't pressured or has any expectations from me. If possible, could you lower your hours to incorporate some volunteer work in an area you could see yourself in? I just feel that quitting your job will reinforce those negative thoughts in your head and will only carry them over to the next job if you do this so suddenly. I honestly get how hard this situation is and was in this position when I quit my job but I had no plan b.. I was in a bad place for that time and have only now (after a year or so) feel that I can start building myself up again. The uncomfortable feelings of social interactions will always be there, but it's about how you can manage it and to accept those feelings but not let it stop us from talking to others different from ourselves. I hope you make the steps towards something better and what works for you, but do this with careful thought and consideration.
@olenacastillo89
3 жыл бұрын
I didn’t know that there was anyone out there who experienced the same feelings that I do. I heard the term social anxiety and immediately related. I am feeling super down about having to interact with customers at work on the daily and it makes me so tired and it’s exhausting and uncomfortable.
@curmeow
Жыл бұрын
don be so hard on urself
@tishap7739
2 жыл бұрын
I'm here with you. Start my shift soon. Wish me luck.
@Wing-wh5ih
2 жыл бұрын
Thanks, good luck!
@melissac5394
3 жыл бұрын
Hi I relate to you so much I been working at a restaurant as a hostess and that’s part of my job is easy but I can’t do cashier or anything else related to because I get so nervous and mess up every single time. It’s so embarrassing cause you would think someone who’s worked 8 months can’t do well. And yes it’s really awkward for me and my coworkers too cause I don’t know how to talk to people too and it’s so sad too. I want to quit cause Ik they can find someone better and I just can’t do it, it’s so hard
@David_j1219
2 жыл бұрын
I know same :(
@thatgirlmeimei
3 жыл бұрын
I feel you 💯 im in my 30s and I used to be a barista at a small coffee shop and I don’t like doing opening and closing because I have to work alone for an hour. I usually arrived to work early and just sit in my car worrying. The bad feelings while walking to the establishment is very gut wrenching:( the little trick I learn to calm your mind is to countdown in your head “5 4 3 2 1” that usually help. There are lots of returning customers there and I rarely do small talk to them haha..I just let my co worker do all the chatting while I nodding quietly in the back. But I feel you 💯 and wish things get better overtime !
@sumnz
2 жыл бұрын
I feel that so much. I am 36 and work for a university housing department. I work around the same students for months and never feel like I can talk to them, even saying hi. My saving grace is, by next year it's new students! But that only means I reach that awkward, months later, moment every year and I feel like I'm the weird quiet maintenance guy among the students in the building I work in.
@Wing-wh5ih
2 жыл бұрын
I don't think the students would care about whether or not a maintenance guy is chatty or quiet. They've got more of other things to care about. I personally would find it weird for a maintenance guy to talk to me, but then again, I am the one who doesn't want to be talked to lol.
@sumnz
2 жыл бұрын
@@Wing-wh5ih My situation is, my office is literally in the hallway of a dorm. Right across the hall from rooms. So, it feels weird seeing some of the same students. But, yeah I totally agree with you, I wouldn't want the maintenance guy to talk to me either haha! One of the custodians in my building will talk to the students forever, and I can overhear him. In my head I'm like, "Dude, they need to get to class or study or something."
@ladyofwisdom2
2 жыл бұрын
New subbie. I can definitely relate to what you're talking about. I have severe anxiety and panic attacks which makes it extremely hard interact with co workers. I also work in a call center and have the same issue. I have gotten slightly better with this issue. I started by waving to certain folks at work as an "ice breaker". They all naturally started talking to me even though I don't have much to say as I prefer to be quiet. Maybe, this technique may help you as well. You don't want your co workers or supervisors to think that you're "stuck up" or unapproachable. You can also get denied if you go for a promotion or try to make a lateral move to a different department. Hang in there, sis!!! ❤❤
@M1ssFranks
3 жыл бұрын
Hi 👋🏻 I just wanted to say thank you for this video it was really relatable. I just wanted to say I’ve never ordered my own coffee in a coffee shop because I feel like the barista knows I’m not a coffee connoisseur & I get anxious in case they ask me a question and il look ridiculous for not understanding!? I’d like to think if all baristas had your demeanour and kindness I would be a confident coffee pro by now! Sending all the love and positive vibes your way. ❤️
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
That's Starbucks for me, I never understood the size names but then again Starbucks is mainly for teens who like sugary coffee anyways. I think no barista cares about whether or not a customer is a coffee connoisseur. I've had people ask me about the differences between a cappuccino and a latte and I glady told them. Honestly I'd rather you not know much about coffee and ask about it than act like an actual connoiseur who's the type who says my coffee is "undrinkable" (that has happened). Thanks for your comment 😊
@user-zu6fe9nk6u
Жыл бұрын
Making great coffee is a skill! I can't make coffee, so I think it's cool you know how to make coffee 🙂
@jacquelynnmccurry9558
Жыл бұрын
Let me set a scene with the fact that my social anxiety is through the roof: I've been at my particular job, carry-out at a restaurant I can drive to through some parking lots, takes me 3 minutes to get there (a big reason why I picked this place because I also have driving anxiety) for literally a week. I. Am. Panicking. When it comes to organization, packing orders, clean-up, and prep, I feel solid. The second the phone rings or someone comes in the door to put in an order, I WANT TO RUN AWAY. I have literally pretended not to hear the phone and went to the bathroom to hide before because it was so bad... your video gave me some emotional relief, though. It really did. I just hope to find a job someday that doesn't make me want to hide. It's the worst feeling. I look at my sleeping babies' faces and know that I must go for them because this is now, and this is what I have, but it is a waking nightmare for me to get through. Why do I care so much about other people?! It's torment. Every. Single. Day.
@cynax7757
10 ай бұрын
I don't hear many batistas that have social anxiety. I thought it was just me feeling uncomfortable with people. I'm so glad there's other people like me out. You're also an INFJ personality type.
@ed1278
Жыл бұрын
Omg you literally explained my exact situation. Ive been working at a coffee bar as-well for almost 2 years this month but honestly like you said, after the 6 months mark it all started to go downhill and I kept pushing myself but i feel so drained at this point im gonna put in my two weeks this week or this month. The awkwardness that you explained over simple interactions and the awkwardness with regulars is also something i completely agree and relate with.
@Luhgeeky212
Жыл бұрын
Same boat here I’m 22 hate it everyday and my neutral face is very mad/sad looking which doesn’t help lol but o well
@bushran2022
Жыл бұрын
Wow I’ve never related to anyone more. I am in the same exact situation. Do you have any social media? I would love to follow you
@2TWINSONEDESIGN
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing it does feel draining at a job. I started taking a business class because social anxiety has made me switch jobs so much that Im trying to get financial freedom and not have to deal with people unless I want to. But that requires a job I recently quit another job for the exact reason. It was draining and I had to deal with alot of personalities. Im also 28 so I totally understand how you feel.
@KhairulAnwar-mp8lo
2 жыл бұрын
Is okay Sis. One day at a time. You can also consider going for therapy.
@an6350
3 жыл бұрын
i relate a lot. especially with the thing of getting stuck in a way with people you see a lot. I was so quiet and uncomfortable at my last job that I had to quit because every day i went in a felt so depressed and tired.
@mauriciokiyama
3 жыл бұрын
You are great!
@mauriciokiyama
3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for being so open about your challenges and to talk about difficult things online. I definitely have learned a lot from you already.
@Wing-wh5ih
3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Mauricio, I'm glad you got something out of my videos.
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