So one of those 167 views comes from me, and I live in Romania. That's why I don't think you should quit. People all across the globe can meet and say a few words to each other. Still, the more popular you would get, the more bad comments you would receive. And if you are not in a great state of mind, I do not recommend reading comments to make you feel better. Get a roommate, living alone is not fun. Cheers!
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for your input on this. I agree, haters will always hate.
@gijns
Ай бұрын
MAN. This video hit me in the feels. Thank you for the courage filming and uploading this personap experience. I'm going through a similar experience mentally and emotionally. Stay strong - you're navigating through the forest right now. You'll find your way out
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
I just spoke what was on my mind. when I put out this video, I wasn't expecting so many people who could relate to what I am going through. thank you for giving me so much love and support.
@marksingingforasmile.8457
Ай бұрын
Don't keep knocking yourself down and let your depression take over. Singing and expressing yourself is the best treatment if it makes you feel better and makes you smile, then that's a start. Have a break for a few weeks and refocus on yourself. I'm having a few weeks off KZitem right now 12:34 but just saw your film pop up take care and be positive ❤😊
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
it does feel like that. I'd start putting my time into something and then I start having doubt, if I have what it takes. the loss from all the stuff I stop doing is so big. and then for a while, I just can't get myself to believe in anything and I keep to myself. I'm not sure if I will be back with a new video, but I just wanted to spend today to just thank all the people who were there for me.
@alfonsdemunter
Ай бұрын
My English is not good enough to understand the details but I wish you all the very best my dear friend and hope to see and hear you back when things get better ... take your time. Very kind regards from Fons.
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for listening to everything that has been on my mind. I am still trying to process a lot of it.
@AtlisDe
Ай бұрын
Just saw this on my feed. Im not a follower, but honestly i feel you. There have been points in my life where things I envisioned for myself never came to fruition and it brought me down. i think once i let go of what my life should look like, things got better for my mentally. But mental health issues for me has always been akin to riding waves. They come and go, and ive found myself seeing things other people are doing, and it's difficult not to compare. Its the human condition i think - the grass is always greener. We place a lot of expectations on ourselves and its difficult not to let that inner voice dictate how we feel especially if we don't fulfill them. I think its good to take a break, take time for yourself and figure out what you need. Also am glad to hear you have family to rely on. Definitely lean on your inner circle. Also know that theyre are people in the world who can empathize and relate to what youre going through. So you're definitely not alone. I'm hitting subscribe, just in case you do decide to make future videos. No pressure, and best of luck!
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
I've struggled with bipolar disorder 1 all my life, and as you get to university, and start looking for a job, things in the lives of friends look different than mine. you end up dropping out and then trying to fix it applying to college programs again and again. but you cannot handle the work load and then you lose your confidence every time you send in an application and try again. I think I always feared that. but now, I have decided to cancel all these plans that never were going to work and spend time to do things I've found meaning in and show myself maybe I can make this work. I'm still trying to figure out if KZitem is part of that picture. I loved reading your message, thank you for knowing what to say. what I need.
@AtlisDe
Ай бұрын
@@blackcrystal_2018 I hear ya. I'm not personally familiar with BPD 1, but I know some people that do and I can only imagine what you go through. I myself went to college for a bit paying out of pocket to avoid loans, apparently my dad made too much at the time even though we didn't live together and he was supporting himself and my mom and two dogs so it wasn't as though he was rich by any means. So I couldn't get financial aid, I put a pin on that and learned some skills in my own time. I've struggled with agoraphobia and panic disorder for a while, fortunately has since receded but I sometimes get those adrenaline rushes during stressful situations. But yeah, I had plans, do this by this age and so on, but sometimes we're just not there yet and that's okay. The world right now, especially if you're living in the US, is in a strange state with it's economy and workforce right now. It sort of gives me anxiety thinking about the future, so I just try and take things a day at a time. Looking at everything I should be doing is overwhelming. That and your plans never account for certain things that happen along the way. I had plans to travel, but unfortunately my partner ended up getting sick, he was supposed to come with me. While he's okay now, he's still not in ideal shape for travel. While disappointing I can't do that goal, I think it offered a new perspective: I much rather just be around the people that matter than do anything else. Spend time with the people you love most and as you said do things that center you or reinvigorate you. Everything else is secondary. I'm sort of rambling here, but I hope in some way there's insight here. One step at a time and we'll get where we need to be 🙂
@blackcrystal_2018
29 күн бұрын
@@AtlisDe thank you for trying to understand what bipolar disorder 1 is like. I experienced something similar. I always had financial help from my parents, so despite the fact that I don't make income I did not qualify to get financial help because they reviewed my bank statements and decided that the deposit my mom made to this account was higher than their standards. I am glad you are in a better place dealing with the anxiety that comes with the panic disorder. I definitely share the same doubt in myself. I remember my friends and I used to talk about showing me around, if I was around and close to the Philippines, but that never happened.
@nightcat9587
Ай бұрын
Hey this video was just recommended to me out of no where and i don't personally know anything about you. But i have watched the entirety of your video and i can see the depression in your eyes and it was like looking at a mirror. i've been battling my depression and negativity for most of my life, and i still do but i do try to show a middle finger to life cuz it does sometimes try really hard to push you down and the most important thing is to never fall to despair and let it beat you like that and stay down. I'm 25 and i still feel like i'm behind life and unsatisfied with almost everything really but like you said it is just another chapter in your life and it will pass this hard and depressing time. The fact that you still somehow try to tell yourself to think positively to me is amazing and inspiring. I think you are a brave and beautiful human being that doesn't give up. If singing makes you feel happy and do it as much as you can, if it's not enough anymore try out new things and don't get stuck on the same routines over and over again cuz that will make you feel more depressed. I know i've rambled alot and i don't know if you'll read this but this video made me feel better with everything going in my life (and it's not great let's say that). Just know that this small channel and this video made someone's day better and made them realize they are not alone and keep pushing forward. Thank you and keep your head up and smile and do your best you are awesome:)
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for doing that. thank you for staying around until the very end and listening to everything that has been on my mind. I always thought that my depression didn't show. but you're the first person who has told me you can see it. and that means a lot. I was diagnosed when I was just about to turn 14. I am also 25 years old. I've never spoken to anyone who almost knows what I've gone through with so much similarity word for word. yeah, I have been thinking about that. if all of this still makes me happy. I am glad I met you, I think we would make really great friends.
@nightcat9587
Ай бұрын
@@blackcrystal_2018 I'm happy to hear it, remember that you are not alone:)! And we can both help each other cheering up
@blackcrystal_2018
29 күн бұрын
@@nightcat9587 I hope so
@mohamedshakir1642
Ай бұрын
Im also battling with anxiety and deppresion keep your head up and keep making vedios
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
@@mohamedshakir1642 thank you for sharing that with me. I am glad we can be there for each other in times like this.
@TheShottyBoys
Ай бұрын
I was big fan of you, bought all your merch. Sad to see you go!
@LnIDaiJoubuDesu
26 күн бұрын
You are not alone you have family and friends that you can share your struggles in life,and they will support and protect you anytime.Ignore those bad things,always choose to be happy.You have to focus yourself push to be better,sometimes negativity,worries in life that push us to become depress,I think you need some counseling,don’t be sad.I hope one day you will find the true happiness,in life sis Lucy.I’ve been through that kind of feelings and situations but I change into positive way and I keep on praying and make my day busy.I feel you now,sending my hugs 🤗 ❤️
@blackcrystal_2018
23 күн бұрын
I loved reading your message, thank you for reminding me about the things I have in my life that a lot of the times I tell myself I don't have. I have started seeing my therapist again. I saw her over the weekend. I am just taking things a day at a time. thank you for all the love, sending hugs back at you ^^
@caden2771
Ай бұрын
Crystal im praying for you
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for thinking of me.
@e.k.1836
Ай бұрын
I feel you. I am moving out alone and it can feel scary!❤all the best to you!
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
yeah, I remember the first night I slept at my apartment. I woke up surprised I am not in my old room I stayed at with my parents. it took me a while.
@pauldenham9406
Ай бұрын
GOODBYE ?????? no this is not goodbye,you have been a very brave girl to explain all this to us,but i get the impression, the feeling that there is something inside you are tryig to release, but you are not releasing, look at yourself my sister,you are so much sronger and braver now, than when i first join your channel, maybe your therapist is helping, but i am almost certain there is something inside too painful for you to talk about, dont worrry if you need a break, need some time to be alone, we are always heree waiting for you,always remember the only people that dont succeed are the ones that give up,or dont even try,you have made alot of effort, we all see it,when i see your video, and listen to your words, i have 2 songs that i am thinking of,i hope you try listening to them both,i can see you in both of these songs, i think also you will see yourself,not literalyy, but the story that is in the words,kzitem.info/news/bejne/pquD26StmqJyY4I,and also the song kzitem.info/news/bejne/t22Pr2mJpJV3o4Y,,i also remember when i first leave home,for me it was both a happy and a sad moment,but i always remember why,and stayed strong enough never to reurn home again except for visits,but never to livewe are always with you my sister,take a week, a month, a year, 10 years, we are still waitng here for you,
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
yeah, you're right. I am trying to free myself from this version of life I have wanted for myself and recognize I have been leading a balanced life, and that should be enough. I'm sorry, this came out so sudden. to know there will be people waiting for me.. I can't even begin to thank everyone.
@julienjulien1586
24 күн бұрын
Hello, I came across your video by chance. I don't know your channel or your previous situation. I just wanted to wish you courage. Take care of yourself.
@blackcrystal_2018
23 күн бұрын
thank you, you're very kind ^^
@WittyBonita
Ай бұрын
Lucy keep singing ✨ Your a star So vibrant singer❤️👍🎵
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you, I have been really conflicted with myself. I could never make myself leave KZitem for good, and I am slowly learning that and trying to figure out how to make this all work.
@Arlina1004
Ай бұрын
Sometimes we have to take a step back to come back stronger. Its ok to take time to decide what you want to do and find your way in life, we've all been there.
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for being proof that things will get better.
@amandaz1385
Ай бұрын
I completely understand love, sometimes you just need a time to figure things out and you don't realize it until you've reached a breaking point. I hope you get better, I can't completely understand what you've been through but I've been in a similar position before, just know that you have support from us, you're never truly alone if you have us. And as someone who has also stopped seeing counseling abruptly in the past... sometimes it does more damage than good, definitely listen to your gut because I know you mentioned you wanted to think for yourself but its okay to have some support from outside parties. Im proud of you for taking the time you need, stay strong love
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
yeah, it doesn't hit you until your body gives out. thank you for thinking of me, and making me feel not alone. thank you for being proud of me. I haven't been sure about anything.
@hamuko-chan
Ай бұрын
You are not alone, but are protected because you have a family. So, it is true that the counseling should end. I think this is absolutely correct. However, the KZitem platform will always be there. And your family also exists on KZitem. Yes. Including me. So this is not goodbye, but don't forget that we are always here waiting to connect you to your future. There are various thoughts at various times. It's up to you to pick one up each time. This just means that your options have increased. The title of this video surprised me, but I just want to support you with a positive attitude. Forever.🤍🤍love you
@blackcrystal_2018
29 күн бұрын
thank you, I am so lucky to have you and everyone here. you guys feel like family. I also feel that way. I am really moved reading your message. thank you for all the love.
@hamuko-chan
26 күн бұрын
@@blackcrystal_2018 Everyone here is really connected like a chain. Some people may fall off, but they are free to do so. Don't forget that there are all kinds of people, but there are always people who will help you.💗💗
@BSMarion
Ай бұрын
I like the saying, “It’s never too late, never too early, you’re always right on time” wherever you are in life, you’re where you’re meant to be Everyone’s journey folds at its own pace, for me I’ve been lonely throughout my high school years and I’m about to graduate next year, it’s just been me and my thoughts everyday and I’ve felt like I wasted a lot of time and haven’t felt happy or productive because I didn’t pursue or achieved anything, It’s good to take time, look in the mirror, reflect your thoughts, deeply understand who you are and what do you want to achieve in life then take the steps towards it. 2 months ago I found out what I want to do in life and the goals I want to achieve, it’s good setting personal goals because not having any goals is living life with no purpose. Remind yourself that you’re not late, you’re not early, you’re right on time because now you’re finding yourself and what you want to accomplish. Another thing that I realized is to be grateful, a lot of people are doing way worse than me and don’t get to experience the life I have currently. I wish you luck on your personal journey Lucy and anyone reading this
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for sharing so much with me and sharing a little bit of what things have been like in your life. I remember my high school years. I often ate lunch alone. I am glad you have grown so much and can say all these things now and help me out. that's what I was trying to say. I realized I stopped counting the things that I had in my life. a balanced life and now I just want to make the most of it and let that be enough.
@adeliajosephine4774
Ай бұрын
I hope you will continue to sing. It will provide entertainment for you to be happy. I hope you get better and stay enthusiastic in this life. Everyone's journey is different and has its own sadness that perhaps cannot be told to the world, so it is only kept to yourself. Stay enthusiastic, everything takes time and there will be times when it will be beautiful for you.
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
yeah, I've been really at odds with myself. some days, I can't even recognize myself. I feel like I am staring at a different person who has lost that part of me. but I feel hopeful after reading your message. thank you for that. I am glad to have you.
@SportsUniqueFootage
Ай бұрын
just wanted to let you know we're all sinners and fall short, every human. But God and Christ is always waiting for you. Believe in him
@HeyPainting
Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing! My dear friend~ have a good Saturday!
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
@@HeyPainting have a lovely weekend
@SpiralBJJ
29 күн бұрын
Your video came into my algorithm, don’t really know anything about you. Counseling can be hit or miss - CBT workbooks, reading, writing, eating enough protein, prioritizing sleep, etc help me a lot. You’re clearly struggling, but it only takes a couple good decisions to get to a better place.
@blackcrystal_2018
28 күн бұрын
yeah, I agree. some days I do fine without, but some days can be really hard and it just helps to have someone to talk to. I've been giving myself 1 or 2 hours in a day to lay down for a bit, even if it's just closing my eyes for a bit. I've been trying to feel things out and slowly doing the things that feel comfortable and then move on to something bigger.
@arkimanti
Ай бұрын
sad to see you go lucy. it's a shame that so many of your comment sections are infested with bots so often :( hope you'll do better in your future prospects!
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
I don't know that right now, but I do have thoughts about looking for my next song to work on. it might take me a while.
@malavikasaigal5820
Ай бұрын
Hope you are okay dear❤ it's okay to take a break..travel to somewhere alone..spend some time in nature..if nothing works out, it's still okay. It's okay not to be okay❤ be strong❤you got this..praying for you
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
I am really touched reading your message. thank you for wanting the best for me
@lw4423
Ай бұрын
you are enough. you are worthy. you are precious. you don't have prove any of this by "succeeding" in this or that.
@blackcrystal_2018
29 күн бұрын
thank you for believing these things about me. I am thankful that I am enough to you.
@Returntoyournature
Ай бұрын
I completely understand what you’re going through! Please feel free to reach out to me, I’d love to have a conversation with you. My email is in my channel description. I’ve been where you are before. Love you❤
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for all the love and support
@dmrgen
Ай бұрын
I know you'll be alright
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you
@BillyRichardson
Ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing your videos
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for being here.
@ICallItAsItIs
Ай бұрын
Sorry if this is going to be long, but I think it's worth it if it could save someone's life. You might want to look into much higher amounts of Vitamin D3. This is coming from someone who started to develop suicidal ideation that started during the pandemic. I always tried to go with the recommended daily allowances for vitamins and minerals. I truly believe the recommended daily allowance of 600 IU's of Vitamin D3 is the main culprit of most of our mental and physical illnesses. Some doctors have stated that 45 minutes in the sun can give us around 20,000 IU's of vitamin D3, so I think there is something that makes no sense when they recommend such a low dose of 600 IU's. Biologically, we are not that different from the cavemen and they were out in the sun most of the day being hunters and gatherers. I started taking at least 20,000 IU's of D3 about half a year ago and not only do I feel mentally stable after so many decades, but my snoring has literally disappeared (I have a snore app that records and tracks my snoring). There is a connection between anxiety, snoring and a vitamin D deficiency and that's what started my journey. I didn't want to go to the doctor because I know they would have said that my vitamin D levels are normal and then would try to put me on some expensive depression medication for the rest of my life. We can't always trust doctors, especially nowadays. We have to remember that they are the same people who thought that the food pyramid was fine for so many decades which ended up causing diabetes in millions of people. In reality, I think they are doing more harm than good as they always appear to be playing guessing games with peoples' health..."oh, let's try you on this medication and see what happens. It didn't work, so let's try you on another medication." Doctors know that if they healed people, they would run out of customers. God put EVERYTHING on this planet to heal ourselves naturally. Doctors, like Dr. Berg, are lifesavers. Some people are trying to take him down and shut him up because his recommendations work!
@IglooDweller
Ай бұрын
How did you get 20,000IU per day? Most supplements are only 1000IU per capsule/gummy. Does that mean you were taking 20 per day?
@lomusiavlogs1989
Ай бұрын
Mong là bạn tốt đẹp cam ơn bạn chia sẻ video rất hay ❤❤
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
I have made up my mind, I am staying. it might take me a while to stand before a camera again, but when I find the song that speaks to me, I will know when I will be back.
@a1sauce775
Ай бұрын
feel better
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
thank you for thinking of me
@iShredStreets
Ай бұрын
Life is hard.
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
it's definitely testing me right now.
@iShredStreets
Ай бұрын
@@blackcrystal_2018 Yeah, it’s in the air but this season will pass.
@blackcrystal_2018
29 күн бұрын
@@iShredStreets yeah, even this will pass.
@johnconnor7055
Ай бұрын
Your 'purpose' is to have children. I met a girl uncannily similar to you and your circumstances almost a decade ago, and she is my wife now. Before I met her, she was diagnosed with bipolar depression by a counselor and was given meds that really just blunted her mind. I got her off the meds quite quickly, and while she still has her depressive moments and a general susceptibility to it, she is largely optimistic and content now (of her own account) many years later. My advice is seek out a (reliable) boyfriend, pick the one you intuitively feel a connection with, and then live with him. Don't worry about your future going awry in your early/mid 20s, many have the same experience and things will mostly work out - just don't neglect finding a partner. Don't take the meds, and don't continue 500+ videos of singing songs/pointless degrees/other distracting copes. You can continue the pursuit of hobbies after you find the boyfriend.
@vegandolls
Ай бұрын
Ok chad
@pokorny1969
27 күн бұрын
Lmaoo dude,I bet your wife is miserable af,let this girl express how she feels damnnnn
@AppolyonAbadon
Ай бұрын
But is she korean????
@fraydizs7302
Ай бұрын
profile pic checks out
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
no, I'm not Korean.
@AppolyonAbadon
Ай бұрын
@@fraydizs7302 Bernie 2024
@AppolyonAbadon
Ай бұрын
@@blackcrystal_2018 unsubscribed!!!!!
@AppolyonAbadon
Ай бұрын
@@fraydizs7302 I'm beautiful like korean asmr
@AegyoKoreangirl
Ай бұрын
Lol, Korean
@blackcrystal_2018
Ай бұрын
no, just Chinese who grew up in English speaking countries.
Пікірлер: 84