well, the short version is that it's linked to an introspection of mine. but to give actual context to the title, i have to describe the mental state i was in right before the sprawling process of making this album. a month or so ago, i had a terrible realization about the unhealthy coping mechanisms i had caged myself in for so long. i was so afraid to think, i needed anything that could make the fog in my brain finally go away. sometimes, i just wanted to die. all of that, because i was too scared of understanding the world around me. but it led to me repeating the same self-destructive actions over && over again, to the point where i didn’t even realize something really disgusting had been happening in front of me for over a year. then, i finally understood it was all about nihilism. no matter how much my thoughts raced, they would just accept things as they are while spitting out constant information, causing me to hate myself + making me unable to actually think or change. so i began giving meaning to every little thing i was doing, using my fuming brain like a weapon, also somehow coming to terms with the fact that i can’t && won’t know everything in the process. this album is named *nihilism* because, to me, it is the best way to encapsulate my coping mechanisms into one single word. or at the very least, what i got from this really weird introspection. this is also why the song titles are bittersweet, “random”, simple, or cryptic. they are all telling the story of the mess that was that introspection. i'm sorry if it's still a bit vague. but i hope you enjoyed the experience && got something out of it anyway! most of my songs are non-linear, because they’re telling a story you can read however you want. so feel free to just give them your very own meaning :)
@dropdedgothish
Ай бұрын
@@serialShitter real af
@zeghegheghegheg4519
Ай бұрын
Very insightful comment @serialShitter
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
@@zeghegheghegheg4519🚬
@hyperluxo7124
Ай бұрын
bro making the right questions
@Beefnachos
Ай бұрын
Thank you youtube for introducing me to cockmonster63
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
welcome! i'm cockmonster63. :)
@firstername
Ай бұрын
@@serialShitter also known as serialShitter great music btw
@TheAnxiousOwl
Ай бұрын
I'm leaving this at 69
@MariMatsuno_
Ай бұрын
Woa, another Uni pfp
@whooswop
2 күн бұрын
Too real
@barbaraisboring
Ай бұрын
i love when youtube suggests me random masterpieces
@gday2000
28 күн бұрын
made by cockmonster63
@Rayxy666
21 күн бұрын
Real
@Erblorg
29 күн бұрын
I will now share this album, "nihilism." by cockmonster63, with all (1) my friends.
@PremierSullivan
11 күн бұрын
Your friend(s) doesn't exist. You don't exist.
@pickashoev248
Ай бұрын
I somehow ended up listening to this as I read the newly released "The Book of Bill" and it goes so well with it. Amazing music, really.
@irespondtotheads7453
Ай бұрын
Would prob go well with A Clockwork Orange.
@xer0_dr3amz
Ай бұрын
the art is wonderful..!! im feeling the music hard rn., its so different and unhinged at times in the best way. sounds like a soundtrack that would be in a game reminiscent to OMORI !! thanks yt for randomly recommending me this
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
@@xer0_dr3amz i'm so glad you love it! thank you so much for the comment!! more art && unhinged stuff are coming, eventually. :)
@Parageist99
Ай бұрын
yeah it reminded me of omori as well, its so awesome :D
@Rayxy666
21 күн бұрын
Who would’ve guessed scrolling at 1:30 am after discovering one of the best shibuya kei artists you ever have would bring me to an artist I adore
@watcoh
Ай бұрын
This kind of feels like an OST for an Undertale-inspired game that never existed. Trippy-good.
@BubbaByce
Ай бұрын
dawg this is such an enigma. this album is so darkly beautiful with it's inspiration drawn from such an awful struggle and its made by someone with one of the goofiest usernames i've ever seen. in other words, i really, really love this and i cant wait for more.
@Ama_tullah
28 күн бұрын
My recommendations is getting way too accurate 💀 Loved the album! There's something very melancholy about this whole album...I felt it the entire time listening to your music.
@captainbaronfluffy
Ай бұрын
i detected the Space Boyfriend Mixtape synth in "the KEY is probably somewhere in the woods" .... this whole album is so neat
@quantumblauthor7300
Ай бұрын
Ooh, tangled desolate scrungles
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
@@quantumblauthor7300 waht
@snailcheeseyt
4 күн бұрын
tangled desolate scrungles
@kori-rr8ro
Ай бұрын
this was the best thing youtube could’ve ever sprung up on my explore page. thank you cockmonster63 for sharing! this is insanely well made :)
@LangSmith.
27 күн бұрын
What an incredible album. It’s haunting in parts and beautiful in others, and I especially love the way some songs transition into others, either with blunt force trauma or garbled statements swimming through static. This was a really cool project you made.
@muffin_crow
Ай бұрын
Only 2 minutes in and I'm alredy in love with your muical style and language. It's like I found a nintendo pre-switch music tape but the files have been corrupted by electronic worms that are trying to scream for help.
@localidiot6909
4 күн бұрын
i hope this album gets more recognition its really well made and its probably one of my favorite albums that ive listened to
@troyjusttroy1781
Ай бұрын
The best of artists just have the most unserious of names and I fucking love it
@miunii1823
26 күн бұрын
I've listened to this a few times now and everytime I do it gives me the same feeling I get during my first playthroughs of some of my favorite games. IDk how to explain it in a way that makes sense but all the songs together really sound like some kind of soundtrack to a game I havent played yet but really want to.(dream bbq vibes kinda)
@kazket
Ай бұрын
Ton chef d'oeuvre, chef. Bravo. Je l'ai déjà écouté une dizaine de fois avant qu'il sorte
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
🤝
@gnomestar_disaster
Ай бұрын
i didnt expect the next album i rave about like a mad preacher to be made by cockmonster63 this is so peak dude 🙏🙏
@WALUIGI-cq4dm
Ай бұрын
by FAR my favorite album ive heard thus far i just found your music
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
👉👈
@W33PING_SINN3R
Ай бұрын
Thank you cockmonster63 this is absolutely amazing I hope more people see this, if you made the art for the album it looks scrumptious. I love you, cockmonster63.
@Parageist99
Ай бұрын
this album art really inspires me, i so much love the surrel and intense scribbly style, it makes me feel so many things
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
ohhh, some appreciation for the cover- thank you! i'm glad you like it! my brain came up with it 🕶
@kernek9901
Ай бұрын
i did not expect to find the coolest songs ive heard in a while by someone named cockmonster63 but here i am 🔥
@oscarweilerswindhaze3521
7 күн бұрын
Was feeling stagnant and shitty today, this album just pushed me towards a cliff of coming into terms with the impending reality that your body is limited to the space on which you are now while your mind is traveling cosmos and you can't do anything about the voices in the void because that's it. You're human. This album revealed the hate and disdain I have towards myself and life, and maybe, just maybe, somewhere in there, there is hope. Thank you creator❤
@HauntedNutPizza
26 күн бұрын
I really enjoyed this playlist. I don't actually remember doing anything else other than listening to it while i circled my room. I also hope you are doing better than younwere when making it.
@serialShitter
26 күн бұрын
@@HauntedNutPizza it will take some time, but it's going to be okay eventually! thank you for the comment :)
@Mytocato
29 күн бұрын
Damn, the algorithm it's finally giving me the good stuff
@ShinySkia
Күн бұрын
Can I just say as a fellow artist. Your cover that you drew somehow conveys the album and the feelings so well. Like, woah... that's a very difficult thing to do
@serialShitter
Күн бұрын
hello! well, i actually made the cover before the album was even a thing. i just thought it was fitting when i zoned out to my songs, while staring at this image. i think people underestimate how easily you can convey a mood through one image alone! we're just that influenceable, haha
@erweex
9 сағат бұрын
I'm glad i found this album, i wish i could find this type of songs more often. great work!
@the19Zabaniyah
Ай бұрын
I will never not associate three eyes like that with Soul Eater
@Schandenbub
15 күн бұрын
I've been listening to this on repeat for way too long now.
@johnshriver8416
Ай бұрын
Some of these felt straight out of the akira soundtrack! Awesome album!
@UnforgettableFrankiee
Ай бұрын
LCD_dream is literally so amazing- like mind numbingly calming to me
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
@@UnforgettableFrankiee i cried composing this music 🤝
@billymkj2763
Ай бұрын
@@serialShitter wowie awesome!!! that's the secret ingredienttt... xd
@FooFoo4230
28 күн бұрын
(note: this comment was originally posted at like 3:00 AM 4 days ago or something, but I think KZitem decided to not make it visible because there was a link. All other text is in the same state as it was) Nicely done! Interesting sounds, I quite like them. Music sounds a lot longer than it is, which is a good thing in my book. Thanks for posting this. Album art is great, the pixelation and colour scheme reminds me of corru-observer a little bit. (note: yeah, I think mentioning corru is why KZitem shadowbanned the comment, since it showed up as a link) The album itself is also great. Occasionally unnerving and sounding "wrong" in the musical progression, which is fun! I should send this to my former high school history teacher/debate coach, I think he would, if not necessarily be fully enamored with it, be quite interested by it. My sentences are disorganized, and as such, this is potentially a non sequitur of a run-on sentence, given that it is a meta-commentary which adds to the disorganization. The "twinkly" sounds are pretty good, adds to the vibe. Not sure exactly what the vibe is, as it's somewhat late at night (read: early in the morning) and I have played too much of Gregtech New Horizons today. Also, I'm intrigued by the "song sounds like it's a completely different one but haha nope it's actually the same one get fooled nerd" moments, noticed em recently on Plastic Death: The Second Glass Beach Album (yes, I know that's not the official title, but eh, I like adding that subtitle). Anyway, I see that you have created other musics and visuals. I will listen to them. And also go to sleep. Possibly in that order, but hopefully not. Update on that may be forthcoming. But ye, your stuff kind of reminds me of noise music in a good way, with the mixing of instruments/samples and the variance. Have a good day and/or night, cockmonster63. (figured I would put the username in somewhere because like 50% of the other comments are commenting about it). I must ask, since it randomly popped into my head: Did you have the thought of "hm, a Minecraft stack is 64, I want the number in my username to be 1 less than that because uh yeah, I dunno why"? That's what the Small Child me thought when choosing a number for a different username I have elsewhere. Also related, I guess, my username was about the nursery rhyme Little Bunny Foo Foo when I first chose it, but now I have it as more of a joke of "The Foo Fighters want to destroy me because I want to destroy society. They have succeeded with all 4,229 before me but they haven't yet succeeded with me. I learn from every prior Foo's mistakes, and I am the current zenith of Foo-kind, but I may not succeed. All we need is to be patient." And, ye, some sound artists this channel reminds me of a bit (I'm not functioning at my best so this is the half-remembered/analyzed stuff): Halley Labs (somehow? maybe some Renard and hyi vibes? I dunno.), and Psychoangel (from the particular style of some of the music on your channel, such as some of the stuff on COFFEESTAPE_1). In conclusion: I need to get to sleep, thank you for your consideration, please sign my petition, etc. In post-conclusion: I could have definitely organized this better, the "closing statement" ("have a good day and/or night") was kind of in the middle there. At least it was in the last 2/3rds of it or so.
@serialShitter
28 күн бұрын
the 63 comes from super mario 63! it used to be my favorite flash game as a kid. :) also thanks for the comment/rambling!! it was really fun to read/decrypt, haha
@Martupc
Ай бұрын
El dibujo da tantas Omori vibes, lo amo
@no_li-fe
27 күн бұрын
dude the ending of womp and the beginning of is science the only thing i can trust is the best
@vinsentbaker6192
Ай бұрын
this cockmoster done it again he just busted in my ears with this absolute banger
@ПлатонВостриков
Ай бұрын
i felt this monster63 in me what a masterpiece 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
@ShibsKensei
Ай бұрын
I have two thoughts; Nothing inherently matters, therefore I am free to decide for myself what has value. If Nihilism is treated like an ailment, then the prescription is becoming an Übermensch.
@MikuoIrl
27 күн бұрын
This sounds like my childhood.
@marcoglez8112
Ай бұрын
I love the feeling of the songs alongside the album cover. Also all the eyes of the cover remebers me of the "chaos god" (something like that) from Soul Eater, so for me it adds another layer of meaning to the concept of the album. Incredible job.
@ProductionsByRayne
Ай бұрын
Gives me 8-Bit Collective Vibes and I'm digging it!
@FalgaiaRT
26 күн бұрын
commenting as tribute to the algorithm so that it may continue to grant musical wanderers succor in these trying times wonderful album, expect to hear from me come Bandcamp Friday
@scrrrlet
Ай бұрын
I've been listening to this for the past couple days and it is absolutely *perfect* for when I need to work, it feels exactly like how my brain functions, tysm!!
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
this is so touching! thank you so much!! also, we might have similar brains then ☝️👓
@kitarathousand8213
Ай бұрын
Man, I didn't think a channel called cockmonster would teach me something about nihilism, and yet here we are! My favourite is: Is science the only thing I can truly trust? 63
@Studimus
5 күн бұрын
music to have an epiphany about human nature and the state of your existence to
@Lyriss_
Ай бұрын
bro literally appeared from nowhere and dropped the cutest schizo album of the year < 3
@gatokosmico
Ай бұрын
cool, sounds like lisa the painful or OMORI music (in a good sense) with all the transitions and changes. also i like the "Is science the only thing I can truly trust? 63" tittle cause i´ts so true. at the beggining of this year i had a freaky-ass existential crisis related with god and death and stuff so i was like "ok i guess i come from fish" Great job cockmonster63
@lxmonp1e
20 сағат бұрын
Absolutely in love with sodikken inspiration it’s the whole reason I clicked this video
@serialShitter
20 сағат бұрын
@@lxmonp1e i love sodikken, but i literally have no idea what you're talking about
@lxmonp1e
5 сағат бұрын
@@serialShitteris your album cover not made to resemble sodikken covers?
@serialShitter
5 сағат бұрын
@@lxmonp1e oh, if course not! it's just something i drew randomly for fun while turning my brain off! if you're referencing the eyes -- well, i've always been obsessed with drawing emotionless eyes
@UsedRags
Ай бұрын
Bloody awesome album, and I can't stop listening to "I can smile." and "Please don't let them fade."! Hope to see this album get physical copies sold one day!
@vialdunate1186
9 күн бұрын
oh these instrumentals are so varied, so goofy, and just the right level of nefarious this is my comment whilst listening to the opening track, may post after hearing the whole thing
@serialShitter
9 күн бұрын
@@vialdunate1186 i hope you enjoy! i'll have a blast reading your comment for sure. :)
@lythtras
Ай бұрын
cockmonster63 thank you for creating this masterpiece
@puppetguts
Ай бұрын
BROO THIS IS SO GOOD PLS YOU TOOK ME OUT OF MY CIRCLE OF BOREDOM OF MUSIC
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
it requires digging! do you know napcast, dm dokuro, stomachbook, spellcasting, nobonoko or chroma?? also thank you! i'm glad you like the songs :)
@puppetguts
Ай бұрын
@@serialShitter KZitem is not really my main ground for searching out for intriguing and unique music, i mostly use bandcamp for that, the only one of those you mentioned i don't know well is Stomachbook and ill be sure to check it out their stuff sounds very sick. Chroma and spellcasting lives in my heart thou, and your album is definitely among my favorites now as well ^^
@puppetguts
Ай бұрын
@@serialShitter I do most of my digging for songs out of youtube, thats why i happen upon most of the artists you mentioned and their music has a very special place in my heart (space that you now have as well) the only one im unfamiliar with is Stomachbook but ill be sure to check it out !
@user-wo6hm8iu9x
Ай бұрын
omg he's spreading the gospel of Chroma
@_Calla-lily_
6 күн бұрын
listening to this over and over
@gatokosmico
Ай бұрын
noticed in the first track there´s this dude Lil ugly mane who uses pretty much the same synth sound you did in his song "predominance". really cool coincidence
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
ohh, might check it out.
@andytrann
29 күн бұрын
I feel like we're trapped in our minds and we start making things up to fill the emptiness, like a way to cope with depression. The notes and melodies are very joyful but when I start listening to the ambience and background instrumentals, it feels like we're in something much bigger and hard to make sense of. Overall, insane production, I always love listening to everyone's interpretation on such topics like this❤
@cinguloapathy
8 күн бұрын
genuinely godly. undertale ost levels. i can smell the omori soundfonts and general inspiration but you've twisted it into something so new and exciting i'm getting chills. please marry me
@serialShitter
8 күн бұрын
yes 🍔 thank you!!!
@terminallyfish
Ай бұрын
love the music. song names are also add the experience. thank you for this album
@opheliani7817
Ай бұрын
thanks cockmonster63, great as always
@vialdunate1186
9 күн бұрын
track no. 2 is like tranquil and wet like a fairy fountain. I like the "floppy" last few notes
@vialdunate1186
9 күн бұрын
I was wrong about when the track ended. the track actually ends with a fade out. I meant the notes that feel like wet strikes that partition track no. 2 into different vibes
@Cauli_flower
Ай бұрын
underated Banger🔥🔥🔥
@oursingue
Ай бұрын
l'album est super super cool, trop content d'être tombé dessus !
@Pechwok
Ай бұрын
daymn a masterpiece album from cockmonster63 is definitely not what i was expecting to find today
@emanuelparra5685
Ай бұрын
popped on my recommended this is so fire
@turrnurr2633
Ай бұрын
thank you cockmonster63, absolute banger and an instant favorite💖
@psy_metrys
21 күн бұрын
God, I love this. But the fact that I have such recommendations when I feel the most severe derealization....☠️ The matrix really is broken. Thank you for your creative expression.
@no_li-fe
27 күн бұрын
i cant stop listening to this
@GwyndolinOwO
Ай бұрын
I'm on a bit of an introspective journey myself and this music puts feelings into words that are pretty hard to explain to me. In the past I liked to say I was a "positive nihilist" Basically the general idea is that nothing truly matters but that means I should live life freely. But something I noticed is that I still wasn't avoiding negative thoughts. There was still this strong feeling of "if nothing matters, why does any of this matter". Instead of living freely, I was living in fear of the future, and frozen by my past. Maybe things matter, maybe things don't, I'm trying to learn to care less about the bigger picture. I should still think things over in my head to plan for my best future, but I can't care so much that it ends up eating me whole. I need to live in the present because that's where I'll always be. There's always something we can improve RIGHT NOW and it'll matter because we'll feel it!
@Coananlover
Ай бұрын
Bangers unparalleled
@KindaKyezzin
Ай бұрын
I LOVE IT IT JUST SHOWED UP ON MY HOME RANDOMLY AND MADE MY WEEK
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
@@KindaKyezzin !
@justafish9618
23 күн бұрын
I just discovered you and it's really a genre of music I absolutely love, thank you for sharing your self expression to us.
@femcelcarcel69
Ай бұрын
Yesyesyesyes 🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ This album gives me bad butterflies in my stomach everytime i listen to it
@ririssouille
Ай бұрын
C'est incroyable Bravo!!!!
@ThdButterMan
Ай бұрын
you nailed it with this one and I needed this, thank you.
@brunohermes1
Ай бұрын
the scars remind me of my mistakes. i never want them to fade.
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
wash them properly && stay safe!!
@brunohermes1
Ай бұрын
@@serialShitter thanks, most of them i did with my nail since i didnt have anything else at the time-
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
there is no hierarchy of self-harm. even if your scars are thin, they're here because you wanted to hurt yourself. there is no competition; only people who suffer && need help.
@brunohermes1
Ай бұрын
@@serialShitter i see...thanks alot man
@Sharks_on_eggshells
Ай бұрын
Listening this while making a fantasy map. Vibes are awesome. Keep it up!
@Treataod
Ай бұрын
Uncommon KZitem algorithm W
@ghiless7513
28 күн бұрын
LCD Dream is my favorite so far!
@wierdo_girl_dubs
Ай бұрын
this sounds awesome!!!!!! i love the vibes!
@Wapcvm
29 күн бұрын
This truly is one of the newage artist names
@somnolentdoll
Ай бұрын
hello cockmonster63, i love this album, thank you for creating it and i hope to hear more wonderful things from you in the future
@CapitanPankeke
28 күн бұрын
OMG, this sounds so cool, I find it very interesting, loved it.
@kittykat42_0
26 күн бұрын
just by the name im subscribed cant wait to see what u make bro
@Unoriginal-Username69
Ай бұрын
i cannot believe im listening to music made by a person named cockmonster63 and i am enjoying it is this a dream
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
@@Unoriginal-Username69 i'm also a depressed neet (💪🔥). i'm glad you enjoyed the music! :)
@katunas8493
Ай бұрын
The art is very good and the music reminds me of the ENA series on youtube. My favorite song gotta be LCD_dream, much love keep making music
@aykarain
16 күн бұрын
woah this is really cool... and also the cover art thing too...
@keshy5756
Ай бұрын
Okay tbh I was expecting a shitty breakcore wannabe with no thought put into the album whatsoever. This tho, really is something good. You really encapsulated a lot of feelings in this music, I liked it a lot! and bro 6:1 views to like ratio is incredible. Keep it up!
@maplemilleni
24 күн бұрын
gotta love when random artists like cockmonster63 just drop the hardest music evar
@Abandoned_Memory
28 күн бұрын
This album is awesome bro! So glad it's not another generic breakcore album with wierdcore aesthetics but a proper electronic exploration with melodies and textures. Every song sounds different and has a sense of otherworldly fun. I love it man, given the dissociative darkness that inspired it I'm glad you went Earthbound 3 instead of the more muted angsty genres we've been seeing everywhere. Has a kind of Mr Rogers at the end of the world vibe lol Tragic, dissonant nostalgia is a melancholy I can get behind 😋 You should check out Mark Mothersbaugh, the guy behind Rugrats soundtrack, I think you'd love his Muzik for Insomniaks Vol 1 album. Game OSTs I recommend also: Evergrace, Baroque (PS1), and Drakenguard 1
@hyperluxo7124
Ай бұрын
i need a celeste-like videogame based on these tracks. well done cockmonster
@-lilsyie
Ай бұрын
This tingles my brain
@garo8994
29 күн бұрын
dios es simplemente hermoso que pueda sentir así con esta música
@obliquedev
Ай бұрын
what a fantastic listen! huge fan of LCD_dream. i'll be sure to check out all your other stuff.
@lemieux4825
Ай бұрын
ive listened to garden of ashes so much over the past 2 days lmao its so good. def my favorite of the album. i rllly like the vibe tho
@OCERIDANEPARTNERSASSOCIATION45
Ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤tellement fière de se résultat, c'est impressionnant comment tu as progressé....hâte de voir ce que tu vas encore créer ❤❤❤❤❤bravo jeune homme ❤❤❤
@adler1442
Ай бұрын
why does someone with the name cockmonster63 cook something so hard. If cockmonster can maybe I should also try to make music
@serialShitter
Ай бұрын
@@adler1442 try && have fun! 🕶️
@casthen
Ай бұрын
keep on makin stuff cockmonster63 this stuff is DIVINE
@vyrkraz
10 күн бұрын
SO SO EXCITED THAT THE ALGORITH HATH BLESSED ME HURRAYYYY
@dimontouch
Ай бұрын
hidden gem
@Rayxy666
21 күн бұрын
I’m sorry if u don’t like being compared to artists but this is doing the thing to me I thought only kikuo, bo en, and meta room could do to me and that’s fire and um brain space is currently taken over by this so ya
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