How you remember these jokes and say them without a hiccup is hilarious! Keep em coming!
@stevengaither7652
3 жыл бұрын
He’s been telling it for years.
@ronstermonster1547
2 жыл бұрын
Yes ---I want pee on the IRS too !!!!!!!!!11
@juanorozco1971
Жыл бұрын
Probably because he steals them this is pretty much the joke that Quentin Tarantino tells the bartender in the movie Desperado
@billhouse8199
3 жыл бұрын
The oldies never die, Keep'em Coming ✌️
@justsaynototaxes672
3 жыл бұрын
Neighbor looked over the fence and saw the neighbor kid next door putting dirt in a hole. Neighbor said," whatchadoin?" Little kid said, " oh, I'm just burying my goldfish." "Why's the hole so big?" the neighbor asked. "Cause he's in your cat!" the kid replied.
@fixitshop3025
3 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@seanmcaleavy2369
3 жыл бұрын
That is funnier than the joke in the video.
@jesusnavarro4885
3 жыл бұрын
Hahahah. Im dead. Kid killed the cat.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Rightwinger1982
3 жыл бұрын
Basically the same joke Quentin Tarantino says to Cheech Marin in desperado
@2027Judah
Жыл бұрын
What I was thinking
@ghostfacekilla7410
Жыл бұрын
It’s funnier when Quentin Tarantino tells it !!!
@paulluysterborghs4964
Жыл бұрын
By basically you mean exactly
@Freddy-iz8wl
Жыл бұрын
Basicly everyone didnt see desperado
@DC4L_86
Жыл бұрын
@@Freddy-iz8wl Basically how can you own a smartphone and still can't spell BASICALLY correctly. Basically dummies should be banned from owning a smartphone.
@kimberlylustig3617
3 жыл бұрын
He is so funny most of the time. I enjoy watching him telling his jokes. He makes your day many times.
@kylechurch1805
3 жыл бұрын
One of the top 4 funniest joke I heard in my life, keep them coming man
@damoon2631
8 ай бұрын
St. Peter was taking some new arrivals around heaven and when going through on place with high walls he asked everyone if they would be very quiet. After getting through one man asked St. Peter why they had to be so quiet. St. Peter looked at the man and said, well, the Catholics are on one side and the Baptists are on the other and they think they're the only ones here!
@PeterWhite-q1k
Ай бұрын
Great joke! I heard it years ago but with Catholics and Lutherans. Thanks for refreshing my memory.
@kazoote
3 жыл бұрын
Guy finds a genie lamp, gives it a rub and out comes genie. "You have ONE wish, make it good" "Alright, I want a freeway from New York to Beijing, over the sea and everything" Genie says "nah, its gotta be something realistic, that's too crazy" "Allright" says the guy, "I want to understand women and know what they want" "... how many lanes you want on that freeway?"
@bobwinkler1268
3 жыл бұрын
That's not how that joke was written still funny but so wrong. Next time dont change it do it right or not at all
@kazoote
3 жыл бұрын
@@bobwinkler1268 thats the way i heard it. I haven't changed anything except translate it from another language. Do you know how jokes work? They live, travel and evolve.
@chiefskingdom4151
3 жыл бұрын
@@bobwinkler1268 its a joke. Have a beer dude. Life’s too shirt to be a dick.
@jorgetoloza269
3 жыл бұрын
Lol🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@miles2978
3 жыл бұрын
@@chiefskingdom4151 Damn right, I wish I woke up with this attitude everyday
@denise6515
Жыл бұрын
Love your jokes they help me get through the day considering I'm in pain they help me
@John-nl4lt
Жыл бұрын
Being in pain sucks. No one can judge or feel your pain it’s your burden. I’m weeks away from having my triple fusion extended from L4 to S1 to L3 to S1. Through my back. Then four bone graft cages through my stomach then fuse my pelvis to my sacrum both sides. After seeing him yesterday thinking I was going straight in since I’ve lost feeling to my genitals and bowl control but after telling him about neck and shoulder pain he done tests on my hands and fingers and told me I have a major nerve compressed in my neck and he now needs to fuse that before the other three surgeries. All because after finally having my back fused and a right hip replacement and feeling the best I had in 26 years without sciatic in both legs for the first time. After three years of physio hydro and heeling I got the all clear from my surgeon so booked in for a remedial massage at an osteopath and after laying on his bed he oiled my back then cracked it right on the fusion when I’d told him my past surgeries turns out it was a clerical error so now struggling more than I ever have due to the fact he broke my back in three places and now my neck is screwed from trying to compensate for everything else. I guess what I’m trying to explain is I seen my mum in pain from sciatica when I was a kid and I doubted her and never believed she was in that much pain. It’s when your alone with your pain and thoughts you realise that everyone’s pain is different and should never be judged or put in a category. Well here’s to health 😂🇦🇺 cheers John from Wollongong Australia. Christ I’ve written a book 😃
@irishterminator.
Жыл бұрын
@@John-nl4lt hey John from what you said it seems like we share similar pain only my joints are fusing without surgery, I have Rheumatoid arthritis, Ankylosing Spondylitis and severe Osteoporosis so 90% of my spine and neck are fused so much that my ribcage is overlapping my pelvis and I have lost 6 inches in height and I am in constant pain but with a positive attitude every day I can open my eyes and say I am still alive. I hope that you will have much better days ahead and best wishes from Ireland. Ps mine feels like a book too Slaínte
@janiqueunique8361
3 жыл бұрын
Tom..I am getting slimmer and slimmer..bring on the summer!!!..love🇬🇧💯
@Holycheepchit
3 жыл бұрын
It was told a little different in desperado by Quentin Tarantino
@ӇЄ0Ӈ-ф5в
3 жыл бұрын
LMBO Quentin Tarantino in Desperado
@jokerzstory9110
3 жыл бұрын
That's chic wilfong joke lol 😂 good one though
@RJ1999x
3 жыл бұрын
It's an old joke, chick wasn't the originator
@pochopdaddy5667
3 жыл бұрын
I remember it as a bartender joke.
@terrybaker7412
3 жыл бұрын
Love this guy!!
@jboone7570
3 жыл бұрын
This is probably the best joke I've heard 😁😆😂🤣
@rapiddog1491
Жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard the tears ran down my leg.
@jackiekern1837
Жыл бұрын
You make me laugh! Thank you for that. People used to tell jokes all the time and I missed them!
@shawnboyce1663
Жыл бұрын
That is a great old joke. New millennium kids can't tell jokes like our grandparents did. Keep them coming
@knutelindstrom3716
Жыл бұрын
That’s hilarious! I wish I could tell jokes so smoothly!LOL
@brendacanter9768
3 жыл бұрын
OMG I laughed out loud now everyone is looking at me like I m crazy. Well I m really crazy so that's OK. Love yall from outside of Helotes TX.
@tntkop
3 жыл бұрын
I was too intimidated by your Affliction shirt to listen to your joke. 😂
@rebeccakuchta395
9 ай бұрын
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.... thank you for your videos 💙🤘🇺🇲🎄
@bzeuzsak
Жыл бұрын
My old man was a scout master. One day he told us troops, "I bet you can't stick out your tongue and touch your nose. Whoever can wins." Well we all were sticking our tongues out like we were digging for boogers. Except for one scout. He stuck out his tongue and touched his nose with his finger.
@glennfoster2423
7 ай бұрын
Perfect understanding begets application of interpretation for success.
@charlottefox4775
6 ай бұрын
Love your style!!
@jzzzxxx
Жыл бұрын
By my count, the IRS is entitled to $42,500 of the winnings in this joke
@SP-mp9yi
3 жыл бұрын
They sit behind bulletproof proof glass now. lol 😆 Maybe this is why 😆
@BobbyJetty1502
Жыл бұрын
My grandfather told me that one in Jr high. I’m 48 yrs old and that joke is still just as funny as the day pop told me. Keep’em coming brother, you’ve told a few I laughed so hard I farted 🤙🏼🇺🇸
@LadyBug-kf4hr
6 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂, you're an awesome joke teller 😂😂.
@bigchas77ify
3 жыл бұрын
Tarantino told it better. Definitely a classic
@ronelkins1057
10 күн бұрын
The funniest thing is the Affliction shirt.
@TraciSoloGrayWitch
Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣 That poor lawyer. 🤣🤣🤣
@themagnificentwhiskerbiscuit
3 жыл бұрын
The IRS Man was talking to the Mr. Potato Head of humans!
@AustinFinnern
3 жыл бұрын
Never heard this one!! This was hilarious, thanks for sharing!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@LongIslandNY-op8su
6 ай бұрын
As they say in the south,”that son of gun”.🤭🤣🤣🤣
@mistylsandlin9884
Жыл бұрын
When daddy passed away and you tell the jokes exactly how he would tell him with the exit and everything awesome
@richardkremer8313
2 жыл бұрын
Common joke told many ways. It still makes me laugh. I’m old vet an heard my share of them. You get me laughin.
@conniecarroll7222
3 жыл бұрын
Yep, heard a version several years ago but it's still funny as hell.
@andypressley4702
3 жыл бұрын
I seen a bumper sticker it said get high on milk my cows on grass 😆
@John-nl4lt
Жыл бұрын
I went to buy condoms. The chemist said that will be $4.50 plus tax. I told her forget the tax I’ll glue them on. 😂🇦🇺
@kitkakitteh
3 жыл бұрын
Was a bartender and a real bar the last time i heard that one.
@whydoineedthisbs
3 жыл бұрын
I've heard it before but I had to listen to Tom tell it😄
@ronaldwoodard3795
3 жыл бұрын
Tom.... Ur NUTZ, but I love you man! Keep 'em coming hoss!
@ghostcoyoteproductions
8 ай бұрын
Popcorn Sutton strikes again!
@sniffableandirresistble
Жыл бұрын
The visual that is generated in the mind of the man standing on the desk pissing everywhere is not a pleasant visual even if you make him shout "yeee hawww" ... lol 🤣
@saulfernandez8876
3 жыл бұрын
you s got a way to tell em jokes which helps make em funny
@MikeCorbit
3 жыл бұрын
keep them laughing
@suzannehousden1779
Жыл бұрын
A great joke! And you told it so well, thank you!
@traveise3020
2 жыл бұрын
MAN!! I just was scrolling one day just about a week or two ago & I clicked on one of your clips..I've been a fan since!! I Love your stuff keep em coming!! I've even tried to repeat to my wife, 😆..I'm not u, so in just shared your link with her&she loves it.. Thank you for keeping us smiling. Your new favorite fan in N.C.
@richsamuel2922
3 жыл бұрын
My throat hurts from laughing so hard!
@jolietony1059
2 жыл бұрын
And now the IRS guy owes taxes on that $25,000 bet
@craigslist474
Жыл бұрын
😂 And now he has to pay taxes on $75,000! 😂 But I seriously doubt that he cares! 😂😂
@andrewmcgee1001
Жыл бұрын
Great joke...love that twist at the end.
@d.b.1858
Жыл бұрын
Make sure you don't ever make a bet with a crazy old man with no teeth, a glass eye and a full bladder ...
@robertsavino7915
Жыл бұрын
Funnier when Quentin says it not a hick!
@enlightenCA
3 жыл бұрын
That joke is so good I posted it on my channel back in 2019. I like your version too. LoL
@marcusvonmaximus8071
3 жыл бұрын
Variation of the joke told in Desperado.... So a good one
@michellec9871
3 жыл бұрын
Who cares how old this joke is...... It’s still😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 as fucq!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️
@shadowstalker6762
3 жыл бұрын
That is damn good right there 👌
@Lifemotivation1970
6 ай бұрын
That’s like puts and calls in the stock market lol
@tomcloud54
Жыл бұрын
The first time that I heard that joke I was too young to laugh, so I just turned over in my cradle and crapped.
@JudyendqualifiedimmunityPenn
Жыл бұрын
Love your jokes Texas Tom!! Keep them coming!
@sigung01
6 ай бұрын
Funniest thing about this joke is that I thought he was saying “Irishman” up until the very end…
@terrykeever9422
Жыл бұрын
I heard that joke a bit different in the 80s. Shortened version. Guy goes in a bar. Bets bartender $20 he can bite his eye, bites glass eye after popping it out then doubles on biting the other eye, bartender makes sure it isn't glass and guy takes out false teeth and bites good eye. Then bets that the bartender can slide a mug down the bar and from 10' away won't spill a drop while peeing in mug. Pees all over the bar. Pays up and leaves. Bartender is happy and cleaning up. Two guys at a table are really sad and dejected. Bartender asks what's wrong? I just won my money back. They had bet $25,000 he could pee on bar and bartender would be happy about it. Around 40 years ago so values should be increased.
@eliseomata7512
3 жыл бұрын
I heard that joke in the movie Desperado, Quentin Tarantino says it at the bar. Just not as long as this joke.
@clurkroberts2650
Жыл бұрын
That is an oldie but goodie… one of my favorites… and I always forget the punchline
@jimmyleyba3455
Жыл бұрын
At first I kept thinking he was saying Irish man
@bunnyg2331
2 жыл бұрын
I thought the punchline was going to be about the IRS man's evidence of tax evasion being destroyed by the pissing incident, but the actual punchline was even better!
@linitadudley1269
Жыл бұрын
The best gambler in the world😂
@everythingisvibration
3 жыл бұрын
Heard this joke and my parents could hear me laughing next door
@stephenfiore9960
Жыл бұрын
…You inflections are Top Notch. You need to go on tour with Jeff Dunham
@atnassayshi2505
Жыл бұрын
Funny because I thought - what has an Irishman got to with taxes???
@Hollwywoodfan
4 ай бұрын
Finally we see your torso . Gorgeous man
@R0NINH00D
3 жыл бұрын
Almost a direct quote from the movie Desperado
@Pinsyl
Жыл бұрын
I remember that joke from Desperado! Best joke ever!
@BJMauck
Жыл бұрын
I owned a bar in 1980…I used to tell that joke all the time back then.
@rockmyworldmusic
3 жыл бұрын
That was a classic indeed!
@learningtofish1117
3 жыл бұрын
Oh hell, made my day 🤣🤣🤣
@jbgoods3464
3 жыл бұрын
Great one!
@ciaran5588
3 жыл бұрын
That was SO funny!! Brilliant joke
@roseyssupernaturalsd
2 жыл бұрын
Lol keep them coming!
@johneisom8727
3 жыл бұрын
Very funny 😄 😆 🤣 😀 😂 😁
@wandacarrgreen336
Жыл бұрын
Always love to hear his jokes
@jamaalme6961
3 жыл бұрын
Made my Friday
@StevenCasper
2 жыл бұрын
Now that was funny. Thanks for the laugh.:))
@vstatealum
Жыл бұрын
I remember an old guy I worked with 25 years ago telling me that at my first job. Still one of my favorite jokes bc I bitched about how I had to pay taxes and I couldn’t vote.
@dragonslayer7587
3 жыл бұрын
THAT had me laughing so hard I had to pee!
@jen5714
2 жыл бұрын
That’s the best one yet ! 🎊 👍 👏
@LK-bz9sk
Жыл бұрын
Hilarious. Texas Tom always make me laugh my ass off and sleep really well. Thank you
@rc_retro
3 жыл бұрын
Love this joke
@truenaturestormers2525
Жыл бұрын
Well I just watched this and pissed my self, so good.
@ianfortuna9385
2 жыл бұрын
There’s an old man walks into the sea food restaurant and orders a full lobster. Waitress brings out the lobster. The man complains “This lobster only has 1 claw” the waitress says “I’m sorry sir he must’ve gotten into a fight with another lobster in the tank” the old man sighs “Then bring me the winner!”
@JDPas
2 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣 fucking right on I'll have to remember that one .
@natureboytom
Жыл бұрын
I freakin LOVE your jokes ...
@MikeJones.
3 жыл бұрын
Gold ol Quentin Tarantino joke from Desperado! Classic.!
@johnbracewell3700
3 жыл бұрын
never bet on another man's game
@jamesalexander1505
Жыл бұрын
One of the best jokes I have ever heard
@barbiejimenezmojica40
Жыл бұрын
Nothing I mean Nothing makes me laugh this joke did thank you I needed that😂🤣
@brussyjuisch1371
6 ай бұрын
Sick AFFLICTION shirt BRO!!!!!
@The-Real-Spaniard
Жыл бұрын
I'm almost 60 and I remember telling this joke in the 80's
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