The best advice my married grandparents, who died together, told me that a woman would allow a man to make a fool out her before a man allows a woman to make a fool out him. They told me never allow a man to make a fool you. I saw in my family , college, etc. I live by that. I dismiss a man as soon as I see red flags. I am worth more than getting mediocre from a man. 💪🏾🙏🏾
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
See Tony? SHE was taught. A lot of us are not.
@jussjess2829
5 ай бұрын
The level of desperation is at an all time high. I am a woman and this is a fact. If I told you what some of the women I know personally are doing for men, your mouth would be on the floor. You have to be willing to walk away from a man ! Tony ain’t lying at all
@bolaa7618
5 ай бұрын
Tell us more 😀
@KevonnieElaine
5 ай бұрын
This!! You ain’t lying! Ppl putting up with anything just to say they got somebody! I refuse!
@THESEER55
5 ай бұрын
Jussjess2829, now you are so right. The desperation is really sad. Women are supposed to be Queens that take a stand, NOT stand for anything. Woman getting engaged to an ALREADY MARRIED man. Make it make sense. That's desperate. There's NO explanation for that.
@mindset_olympics2
5 ай бұрын
I’m always ready to walk away I hold a man like I’m holding a bug 😂😂😂😂😂
@highlovevibration
5 ай бұрын
@bolaa7618 😂😂 I was bout to write that..then I saw your comment 😂🤣 we really need to know ...
@yolandami5923
5 ай бұрын
I had a grown boy in his 50’s play in my face for almost 3 years. I felt like a fool from sheer embarrassment, but I still walked away. Fast forward 3 years, and I’ve met a man that respects me, spoils me, and honors me. The best decision I ever made was walking away from that 🤡.
@bdiana690
4 ай бұрын
So happy you freed yourself !
@NadiaAlyse
5 ай бұрын
It started in the Garden of Eden, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). I feel our desire is so strong and good men are so hard to come by. So many women just get desperate and settle by casting their pearls to pigs in a pig pin, instead of being content in singleness until God sends His divine choice for us 🙏🏽
@shadiamonforever21
5 ай бұрын
❤❤ this
@Dr.Elaine1
5 ай бұрын
“Your desire will be for your husband” not men. Women know when a man loves them like Christ loved the church.
@veebliss1266
5 ай бұрын
Yep
@sylviasworld9397
5 ай бұрын
This scripture came to my mind immediately. This happened after the sin, not before , so it was not created in Adam or Eve by God, but it was part of the judgement. The issue is also that relationships are going too far away from actual marraige, which God blesses.
@NadiaAlyse
5 ай бұрын
you are exactly right. Too many women doing wife duties for boyfriends or situationships 🙏🏽
@phizzy123
5 ай бұрын
i’m humble enough to admit that what Tony said about not listening when it’s a guy you really like is true. not only have i done it, but i have seen MANY other women do it. there’s ALWAYS that exception. which is why as individuals we really need to work hard on self discipline in all areas of our lives, especially when it comes to the realm of relationships.
@staciadavis-5p1cac93
5 ай бұрын
Me too😢
@ericabridley5679
5 ай бұрын
I to have done this as-well. And sometimes I didn’t even like him. It was the proof of validation I got being chosen. I no longer seen validation from humans.
@phizzy123
5 ай бұрын
@@ericabridley5679 this is so true, which is another reason why I believe him about not having sex so soon or before marriage at all. it completely clouds our judgement.
@nanx7062
5 ай бұрын
Guilty as well! 😅 never again!
@daisyhenry332
5 ай бұрын
You're absolutely right...these women are making it hard for the others to find good men because the men have become spoiled and know there are MANY others that they can pass on you and go to someone that will put up with that mess...smh
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
💯
@user-fs7vh7eh7k
5 ай бұрын
This is where emotional intelligence comes into play. Hurt people, hurt people. Its a vicious cycle.
@LovelyOne0075
5 ай бұрын
I'd also like to add, that loving yourself is not just about taking care of your outsides, looking good and getting a degree or starting a business. It's also about setting healthy boundaries for yourself that are not rooted in trauma responses or faulty beliefs about relationships and enforcing those boundaries.
@nikkyshamz2696
5 ай бұрын
💯💯
@skinchampagne
5 ай бұрын
In my opinion what you are describing is a person who is dealing with low self-esteem. It’s sound’s simple, but low self esteem will have you putting up with a lot of mess. Also low-self esteem is on a spectrum, the lower the self esteem the more a person will tolerate. Also the guy who is putting the women through it, has low self esteem as well.
@robertpinckney333
5 ай бұрын
Yes, it is true the abusive man has low esteem, too.
@akilahbatyah6505
5 ай бұрын
Nope. I listen. The truth is rare in the world. A lot of mothers and fathers withhold it. I listen and apply. I leave any situation early and often now. If it ain’t right, I dip for good. Ain’t no spinning the block. Some people spin the block and don’t return home.
@latrinabradford5030
5 ай бұрын
Hello Mr. Gaskins I’m a woman and basically what it truly boils down to is women who have low self esteem allow bad behavior from a man. I know it hurts to leave someone you think you love but you gotta love you more. I am not like any of the women who you meet and talk about. I am happy and married now for 18 years so far, but even before I got married I was never like these women and it is very sad how they are but love your videos and you be on point every single time. God Bless You
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
Exactly. The issue is not so much how God made women to be patient and long suffering but rather who - especially their fathers - did not teach them, explicitly and in detail, to value themselves and their own lives, and that doing so is not a necessary vice but an absolute virtue. If your standard is self-sacrifice, you will put up with everything.
@shabey8436
5 ай бұрын
My mother used to get beat by her spouse on a regular basis. If she left him the first time he hit her, she would probably be alive now. I lost my mom when I was 11 years old and now I’m 40. I witnessed the beatings from when she met him and I was about 5. I always used to ask her, mom when are you going to leave him. That first time he hits you ladies, leave because he will kill you.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
Sorry for that loss. It is a real loss. My mom lost hers at 12 but to breast cancer. She never properly matured in some ways, her dad was a philandering policeman for years. Get the help you need for your healing.
@sweetpea7362
5 ай бұрын
🙏🏾
@Kseniia.2024
5 ай бұрын
Tony, most women will do anything for love. You often describe the desire men have to sleep with multiple women and unless a man is aligned with God, he will be a slave to this desire. Well, for women, it's a desire to be loved. It is quite obsessive and women will fight and betray other women to keep/steal a man that they want to be loved by.
@elsssiev
5 ай бұрын
I never thought about it this way but wow you're right!
@bdiana690
5 ай бұрын
Self respect or keep it moving ❤
@daisyhenry332
5 ай бұрын
The thing is...just because the man is there...they still aren't getting love because he isn't committed to her...this is the thing women can't see nor understand...or maybe don't want to see/understand because somehow they just want a man. That is where the self esteem comes in...just like common sense went out the window....so has women having high self esteem...it's very very sad.
@specialk1107
5 ай бұрын
The same way you get him, will be the same way you lose him..
@highlovevibration
5 ай бұрын
And that's the worst thing a woman can do is betray another woman over a man...I would never want that karma...women need to live by a strong code, be the moral compass. We could change the game, I don't see it happening on a large scale, but it's gotta start somewhere.
@mollesmart
5 ай бұрын
I just put it into the bracket of men wanting wife privileges without doing any husbandly duties.
@peaceful_and_blessed
5 ай бұрын
Hey Tony! I’m a woman and I am wondering the same thing.. i have always walked away from men. It wasn”’t easy with alot of them, but I knew it was the right decision. I cried and hurt, but I walked… i never chose right. I pray women will start to value their well-being more than a relationship/situationship . 🙏🏻🙏🏻
@beewilder7144
5 ай бұрын
I noticed the more I gave, the more you are treated like a doormat. If you notice no reciprocity. Stop giving and become a taker and be open to recieve.
@Ashley_Banks
5 ай бұрын
I learned this lesson for the last time 2 years ago. This lesson ultimately showed me that there was still parts of me that wanted to prove my worth. I realized after the fact that when he said he wasn't ready for a relationship, which essentially meant with me, I should have taken away my energy and attention and desire to be chosen by someone who did not see my value. I am grateful for this lesson because it cemented in my brain that I will be saved from a lot of pain and disappointment if I listen to the words coming out of a man's mouth versus operating from my wounded feminine and blatantly showcasing that I had low self worth & giving him permission to play with me. This man was avoidant and was scarred from being divorced after being cheated on, so he essentially needed to do more healing anyway, and I couldn't be the one to heal him, he would just continue to try & fight his internal battle through me. Walking away taught me & him more than sticking around for his mind games and low efforts ever could. God is Good. ❤
@missadug
5 ай бұрын
Gosh, this sounded like the exact situation I just walked away from, I'm wondering if it's the same person.
@tiffanyyisrael7989
5 ай бұрын
The desperation from some women these days is astounding and sad. I walk away at the first red flag, I just turned 39, I dont have time, or the patience for unnecessary foolishness or shenanigans from these dudes.
@trichelleconner2612
5 ай бұрын
Honestly, Tony it comes from our brokenness. When you are not raised with boundaries and don't even know what they looks like. And we don't even know how to self love and we are taught that men that would like us is a scarce commodity. Being taught what you are teaching has helped some of us just like you testified. No message is going to hit the masses like it will a select few. No matter how well intentioned the messenger or how solid the principles behind the message. There will always be the wise and the foolish."virgins." But the number won't be even. I don't hate men but I can see them clearer than I used to. So now I don't fall for the Oki doke and can see some game coming from a mile away. And I now have peace in the process.
@TheMisswoods86
5 ай бұрын
And that's why I'm taking a break from men, period. After being with the wrong man for 10+ years and having 3 children, 4 total ( my first isn't his), I'm tired. I allowed poor self-esteem and not knowing my worth or my own self cause me to deal with things I had no business dealing with. I'm taking a vow of celibacy and just being good on men. I dont know who or what's real or fake anymore. Who's really sincere or just here to play games. I don't see a point in it and view it as a waste of time. I just feel that my chances of getting that good man with real, pure intentions are slim to none. I can't fool myself into thinking I can get that and have someone to accept my kids as well. It's not being negative, it's just being realistic. I'm totally giving up on the idea of love and marriage for myself. At least for now. Thanks for all of the advice, Tony. Some of us DO listen, even when it's hard to hear. I'm tired of being made to look like a fool, so I refuse to allow someone else's son to play with me. I'm going to save myself from that by opting out because the next mf will end up on the First 48 or an episode of Snapped...
@khadishab2745
5 ай бұрын
God bless you sis and I pray for your healing. I've been at this place before but it gets better.
@TheMisswoods86
5 ай бұрын
@khadishab2745 thanks for your kind words of encouragement. Wishing you continued success and happiness on this journey called life.❤️
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂snapped. I tell you they ain't ready for the fury
@beautyfulldrey
5 ай бұрын
Tony, I will like to say (to give you hope) . I have been listening to you for about 3 years and I can say what you are teaching us is the TRUTH, with your help I just got married. Leaving a toxic relationship of 10 years and one day I would like to meet you (god-willing) to express how much you have change my life and knowledge and understanding you have given me has bless me and I pray that god protect and bless you and your family. You have brought me closer to God and I am forever grateful.
@KampLegend129
5 ай бұрын
❤
@kitagrinage8663
5 ай бұрын
Tony you are speaking the truth. I feel that some women have to learn self-love. Some men do what they do because women allow the shenanigans! We as women should do wifely duties when we become wives.
@VESSELofthemostHIGH
5 ай бұрын
I’ll speak on this from experience as women we have to work on our child hood trauma and our inner selves that caused us to have low self esteem, no boundaries, low self worth/value, negative masculine traits etc, so that we can be in better relationships and attract better men into our lives. when I started working on me and stopped being a victim blaming men and started being accountable for my actions my whole mentality and personality changed my standards and boundaries hit different now, my self worth hits different now Glory be to God and learning from Tony ❤️🙏🏾 this man if dropping 💎💎💎’s ladies we have to listen and apply ❤️
@Terryon1219
5 ай бұрын
You go girl ❗️
@kdi5548
5 ай бұрын
Facts! This is really where the growth begins
@nadene9911
5 ай бұрын
This so True. I was married for 10 years to a person that treated me so bad and abusive . I tried church, counseling and everything I could do to save my marriage until I just got up the courage to divorce and leave in 2011. Once I did that my life took off in the right direction!
@eclipse98100
5 ай бұрын
I’m disappointed in myself bc I really let myself be dragged through mud before I finally left. It shouldn’t have taken me so many tears before I said goodbye. What in the world. But I didn’t want to let go. I really wanted things to work out. But if they aren’t working out. What made me think things were going to get better? Faith.
@tortor19128
5 ай бұрын
I know exactly how you feel! I did the same thing and I am in a space where I have to learn from it but also stop punishing myself and beating myself up. I truly believed I had a word from God concerning this man and in the end, I had to walk away and it was extremely hard. But the beautiful thing is, God's grace. God knew/knows our paths and He has the final say. God is able to take all of the years, tears, and time, and restore it to us if we're open and willing to get back up, learn, and discipline ourselves to do better. Hang in there!
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
Blind hope. Sighted faith is much better. Don't close your eyes and call it faith.
@BlessenceChei
5 ай бұрын
I used to think as foolish as Jobs wife, chasing after the potential of a man , knowing deep down everything he showed me never lined up with the fruits of the spirit nor did the “situationship” push me closer to GOD , I took accountability, stopped choosing potential and took everything for what it was . If you keep choosing wrong it’s a reflection of you and the laziness you refuse to address when it comes to preparing yourself to meet your husband. If you take yourself seriously and trust JESUS then you will stop entertaining what is not.
@bunkeepitmovingjoseph
5 ай бұрын
That Part 💯🎯
@missadug
5 ай бұрын
Facts! You are no longer a victim if you keep making the same unwise choices, you become a willing participant.
@RighteousRockstar
5 ай бұрын
3:30 Yes, Tony. To answer your Question: Yes. I think that's one of the ultimate tests for women. ⚠️ ONLY A WOMAN OF GOD/THE MOST HIGH CAN STAND UP FOR HERSELF AND WALK AWAY, AND CONTINUE GROWING IN SOLITUDE. ⚠️ Because that Woman knows she's never alone. She has an unbreakable bond with The Most High. So, she's fine without a man until the time is right... The right time is when she will align with a MAN OF GOD/Man of The Most High to match her Righteousness.
@Misserica2u
5 ай бұрын
Amen brother amen I’m 33 ,aka fresh Meat and thank God the most high when I was sinning I was never that dumb to stay in a situation that was not good for me ,😢
@delialujan1834
5 ай бұрын
I also want to add Ive been to hell &back so I have learned the hard way, many men are now cold and heartless, not completely their fault it’s their way they were brought up and their way of defense. Men know what they’ve doing, but have been blindsided. The reason there’s so many one sided relationships is because the one giving is an empathetic person and the other is not, which could be due to their inability to love and that in turn is due to narcissism. This can be in both male and female individuals. Again thank you for all the help you give us women. Deedee Lujan
@GoldSteeze
5 ай бұрын
This is what happens when you're not in your purpose. When you truly lock in with God and walk in your purpose, you see how much of a distraction and a waste it is to deal with nonsense and toxicity.
@tamaraimbata4438
5 ай бұрын
It costs too much. I can’t afford. I need my mental health for myself in ordre to be able to function properly.
@queenkeesh8660
5 ай бұрын
True purpose and relationship with god u won’t care to keep toxic people around man or women
@beckyvegalifecoach2481
5 ай бұрын
I had the strength to leave and get a divorce best decision I ever made. After 6 years of working on myself it’s time but thank to Mr Gaskins I know my worth , got my standards engrained in my heart and allowing God to lead me ❤️
@mariono244
5 ай бұрын
I’ve just walked away from a bad man this week ! After 3 months of dating and presenting himself to be a good man, his mask slipped. I was in shock at first, started chasing for a week. Then stopped and walked away. I felt annoyed at first but telling myself this is the process of successful dating. Discerning, weeding out as quickly and efficiently as possible, with minimal harm to me. I’m reading ‘Safe People’ by Henry Cloud and John Townsend which is very good and confirmed patterns that were revealing in him. Bad men run from accountability, good men live for accountability. Although 99.5% of women don’t stand on business as you say Tony, 99.5% of men will come back if you walk away and stand on business. It’s been my experience so far. Stay safe out there ladies!! Xxx
@Rollacoastertycoon
5 ай бұрын
“I just walked away from a bad man “
@priscillajackson7343
5 ай бұрын
I’ve learned that it’s called “Knowing our value” & standing on business, point blank periOd in my Mr. Tony’s voice lol
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@pracs3377
5 ай бұрын
Walking away was the hardest thing for me to do but I did it and I know understand more of why it was necessary. The right man won’t cause me to walk away. I want to be submissive but I can’t if he’s not submitted to God first.
@kaycee7733
5 ай бұрын
So true! When a man the lead totally submits to God his life will be different. And as a husband everything will fall in place. But he has to submit to God first. When the head is messed up the household is messed up. But men don’t see it this way.
@pracs3377
5 ай бұрын
@@kaycee7733 I pray men start seeing it this way. I know some do.
@victoriahollis13
5 ай бұрын
Listen to Tony. If you keep fooling around, you will run out of time. I am in my sixties. I wasted many years with no good men controlled by the enemy. It didn't help that I spent a lot of time around my mother and company. Anything goes. I didn't realized I was being conditioned to accepting whatever I was given. My elderly mother has no remorse for the life she lived in front of us. A situation may come up and I will give advice on how to handle it. She will say you want to do that the right way. What she means is she has an easier quicker way. She's not going to do all that. So, she doesn't want to change even at her age. I thought settling was okay. But, it took away the drive to be more of who God created me to be. No nasty man is worth your self-esteem and time. God has more for you. Time don't wait on nobody.
@datingdiaries1681
5 ай бұрын
I dont like men very easily but wanted a relationship in my younger years so when I did " like " a guy a real whole lot I would cling onto them because in my mind ( limited belief ) I knew it would take me YEARS before I liked someone again. As I got older and wiser I got more intuned with myself and will let go now even if it hurts because NOW I would rather break my heart temporarily to save my soul. Its not until a woman gets to her " I do not care Im never going back to being a weak woman and will walk this Earth ALONE if I have to " phase she will keep being at the mercy of men. Most women will never get to this phase of life so it is what it is.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
Yes. For me it was this: I didn't want my youthful beauty and fertility to be wasted in being an old maid. But when they take your youthful beauty and fertility and they don't engage your heart and mind it is STILL a waste. At the end of the day I'm not participating willingly in anyone wasting all that I am MEANT to be in a true partnership with a husband.
@kia.203
5 ай бұрын
This was absolutely true!! I have even heard women say, especially the ones been with their partner for a significant amount of years, that they dont want to start over with no one new. Its so sad because it speaks to their self esteem, and value. I want women to stop giving chances to. It doesn't take 3 years, and 2 kids later to see that man is not for you. So, i am with you on that!!
@anitrajohnson7789
5 ай бұрын
You are right, Mr. Tony. I try to refer many women to your channel to grow. Women think they know everything. I try to explain to most women, all of your experiences do not have to be experienced by you. You can learn from the experiences of others. But No…. Some women think that THIS situation won’t happen to me. Then months down the road, they are in a storm.
@ramonaphillipsteach3284
5 ай бұрын
Ladies, after getting help, learn more about how men think and what they really want besides a beautiful woman. They want respect and a women needs honor. No more giving our hearts out of desperation.
@Chelle1Love_
5 ай бұрын
TG you're on point. I was told by an ex boyfriend that I had a high threshold of pain. I wish I had paid more attention to what he was saying and what he meant by it, or I probably would not have married my husband. I move much differently now. I stop mismanaging my own self. TG, to answer the question I believe you asked at the beginning, this may be why. At the time of the fall in The Garden of Eden ~Genesis 3:16 though your desire will be for your husband, he will master or you.
@shawnit3071
5 ай бұрын
There's multiple factors that contribute to this. 1. As women we constantly hear we're less valuable and attractive with age and we went wrong if we're single the older we get. 2. We constantly hear single mothers have fewer options and that can make you pessimistic about starting over. 3. If you don't already have children and you want them, there's this underlying deadline. 4. Things are more expensive today. When I was in my 20's, I wasn't afraid of leaving AT ALL because I felt I had time on my side to find someone better for me. I left a relationship at 28 because he was not the right one. I'm 31 and engaged now to a wonderful man, no kids yet. Despite that, the paragraph above still applies. We pretty much need to be ok with being single for the rest of our lives to leave and I think our biological impulse is to want a covering.
@PeaceBeStill-
5 ай бұрын
Good insight! I also think that desperation has to do with one of the curses given to women via Adam and Eve. 'Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you". Basically saying that we will always have this internal "need" for male validation/approval.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
❤❤❤ 💯 💶 💯 💶 I love this comment. You have two number 3s though. It should be 4 and they are all correct and should be shouted from the mountaintops. Women are not dumb. They are staring at realities that are not in the least bit pleasant or comfortable. Die single, celibate, unloved AND childless, too? Well which woman wants that exactly? And how long is she to wait before she stops waiting to be found by somebody who is bothering to look?
@shawnit3071
5 ай бұрын
@@nzingahoney Good catch, edited now. Thank you. And true words!
@nanx7062
5 ай бұрын
Yes, I’m in my early thirties and single. I want marriage and kids and definitely feel some of those pressures both externally and internally.
@EastsideDee-mk6xk
5 ай бұрын
That’s the weirdest thing about this generation. The guy she really like go through hell and high water for . But the actual men who would have treated them right and been a great man they make him suffer. The saying always have and always been the nice guys finish last . But the thing most women missed was the nice guys actually finish and the bad playing keep up till they 60
@rockndivachic
5 ай бұрын
First of all, Lord protect Tony Gaskins at all costs because I don’t know of any other men on the internet that speak so much truth. Secondly, relationships are the hardest ships to maintain. There has to be some blueprint for them but until then, Tony all we got. Thank you for your wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Blessed.
@nakooshaalbert8884
5 ай бұрын
I agree with this message 100%. There’s no breaking point when you’re already broken. Thank you Tony🙏🏾
@MWisdomWisdom
5 ай бұрын
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. THESE WOMEN ARE TOO DESPERATE FOR A MAN. I WILL CONTINUE TO STAY SINGLE BECAUSE IM NOT DESPERATE AND I WON'T ALLOW A MAN TO TREAT ME ANY KIND OF WAY AND I STILL STAY WITH HIM. THE 1ST RED FLAG && IM GONE.
@rosedevereux2391
5 ай бұрын
9:48 Not to be rude, but duh? Society bashes girls and women over the head with submission/marriage/serving a man from birth. It takes a LOT to survive this world and have a shred of confidence as a girl/woman with everyone trying to supprress your essence from the day we are born. It is a rare family wherein parents instill consistent teachings of self-worth separate and apart from men.😢
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
Ain't that the truth. RARE family indeed
@abigailtaylorpsyd6118
5 ай бұрын
Most women feel more secure in a relationship (even a bad one) and it really comes down to social conditioning along with longstanding, covertly but deeply held beliefs by both genders that a woman is not worthy until she is chosen by a man. For instance, note terms and phrases like “spinster” and “make an honest woman out of her.”
@highlovevibration
5 ай бұрын
🎯Well said!! internalized misogyny
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
Old maid.
@aprylclark3796
5 ай бұрын
I walked away after listening to my cousin telling me 90 days in that I was dating a narcissist. Been single since. I refuse to be abused and manipulated daily just to say I have a man. It’s been 3 years and I chose me
@aprylclark3796
5 ай бұрын
@@outsidethebox8406 they all do the same thing. Love bomb, buying gifts, conversation, sex and etc. they appear to be your Knight and shinning armor then out of nowhere they stop 🛑 mines started withholding sex, talked about how there ex is crazy, always going out and etc. Then I found out he had 10 kids and 10 bm. You couldn’t make it work with no of those women? Red Flag 🚩 look up the stages of narcissm. Last but not least, there going to throw there next relationship in your face on social media to make you jealous. Be prepared
@2cool57th
5 ай бұрын
Even though it’s a form of abuse not practicing good self love, a lot of men better thank God women are so forgiving. I was more forgiving to nonsense in my teens and 20s, but I started realizing the nature of men and have become very intolerant to the point I don’t even date anymore. Men love to say there’s so many “good men” out here but I lean more towards the saying “a few good men.” And I honestly don’t know that God made us as women extremely tolerant or if society norms have because truthfully be submissive to men doesn’t always feel natural or safe.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
We see what could be and we wrongly think our tolerance can help bring it out 😢
@godivabaker6622
5 ай бұрын
You’re videos are so on point and I love your boldness for Christ. I’ve definitely felt conviction from your videos. One thing I will so is please work on calling people dummies or stupid when they say things in the comments section. We have to be Christlike and that can hurt someone’s feelings. Just correct them in love. Other than that keep doing your thing brother.
@shawnee9381
5 ай бұрын
Mr. Gaskins, your words are not landing on deaf ears. In your line of purpose I can see how it would seem so. I am a women who is not in the blessed tribe, who is stubborn, hard headed and committed to watching at least one of your videos everyday.. have indeed fell short. You are helping! Everyday the light bulb gets a little brighter and dating gets easier. Thank you for your endurance!
@mollesmart
5 ай бұрын
Tony thank you for this info. I do not have a father or brother and this means I have lean on you for manly advice. Thank you Brother Tony!
@victoriapatino9064
5 ай бұрын
When you say woman are intentionally subservient to a fault out of a place of self hate and weakness. I completely agree with you. The weakness is fear largely and the self hate is being too comfortable playing victim while trying to make the man dependent on them writing a false narrative in their head how one day the man will see the innocent little victim they are and start to act right and appreciate them. They feel like they have control (fear=control issues) in that aspect of how the man sees them even if the man’s actions don’t add up. None of this is from a place of love, it’s from a place of idolatry, manipulation, and fear. The Bible says there is no fear in love and perfect love casts out fear. The Bible also says the fearful will not inherit the Kingdom of God. (Revelation 21:8) “A relationship that is meant to be its seamless, fits like a glove, it flows, it’s smooth. There’s not a bunch of breakup to makeup.“ “Know who are…Know what you want at the table and STAND ONNAT” “Men ONLY do what’s REQUIRED” Thank you for your wisdom Mr.Gaskins!!
@fattie__pie
5 ай бұрын
I’m here Professor Gaskins, Ready to Listen & take Notes 📝 Don't worry, I forgive you 🤴🏾 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@fattie__pie
5 ай бұрын
U h😱… BETTER STOP ✋🏽 pissing my Professor off before I JUMP through this phone 🤦🏽♀️
@dotsonms
5 ай бұрын
Easy at 52 to answer this, trauma bonds and lack of self respect. God doesn't want this but we live in the evil world.
@daisyhenry332
5 ай бұрын
What makes it bad is...more and more women that lack self esteem...that's what I see...it's sad!
@lynne4948
5 ай бұрын
This reminds me of a dynamic sermon on Self-Love by Miles Monroe. It’s on KZitem! Be blessed Mr. Gaskins ✨.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
Yes I took notes on that one and made affirmations from it. ❤
@veebliss1266
5 ай бұрын
This is why no matter who you like you have to LOVE YOURSELF first , which MEANS you have to remember your OWN standards and Boundaries and ALWAYS be willing to pick up and leave no matter HOW long you have been invested with them! TIME is the most important , think of men like a casino , IF you GAVE him everything and LOST , you wouldn’t give that machine ALL your money AGAIN?! You would pick up and leave and save your MONEY!! You would Not go play somewhere else or play the SAME machine again! Because You LOST! And you LOST everything !! So ACCEPT when men DOG you out that THEY are *showing* YOU by their ACTIONS , that THEY didn’t VALUE or APPRECIATE YOU or LOVE YOU , that they were WILLING to RISK PLAYING with YOU! If he was *WILLING to RISK you* LEAVING then he didn’t CARE that much to begin with! So do NOT accept their apology or go back to someone who was OK with the IDEA of even attempting to PLAY or RISK with you! They will do IT AGAIN, esp if you SHOW them you ACCEPT it! Why would he change ?😂 there is no TRUE consequence!!!! So he’ll break the rules again and again! Show him if he breaks a rule then HE LOSES!!!!!! And the prize is YOU! HIS loss ! And go find a man who won’t PLAY with you!!!! Men don’t know consequences because their parents AND their GF don’t show them ANY!!!! They are SPOILED from infancy!! Always being enabled and forgiven !!! Women are naturally submissive by NATURE, but GOD GAVE us DISCERNMENT and INTUITION so stop TORTURING yourself and NOT listening to your GUT, GOD or your friends who tell you to block him and LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rejection is protection, anyone who treats you bad or RISKS “losing you “ is already USING YOU!!!! STOP being USED ! Stop self hating yourself and being masochistic !!!! LOVE YOURSELF and DONT DATE!!!!!!!! Until you ARE HEALED!!!! Do NOT forgive or date men who PLAY in your FACE! WAKE UP!!!! Men don’t play with their lotto tickets !!! They don’t risk losing those !!! So why would he risk losing his future wife??? Because he doesn’t SEE you as ONE!!!!!!!!! Men abuse their power and authority! So stop submitting to men who aren’t your husband and stop forgiving men !!!!! Love yourself MORE than an idiot who treats you like garbage!
@nikkiford8679
5 ай бұрын
To answer your question, this is what I personally believe: It all stems back to the Fall of Man back in the Garden of Eden, where God punished Adam and Eve for their disobedience. To the woman specifically, He not only multiplied her pains during conception, but God said that a woman’s desire shall be for her husband. So I believe a woman’s deepest desire is to be loved by her husband, and she will do any and everything she thinks she can do to get that love, even if her efforts are all in vain. I think it’s something that most women go through, and it takes time, experience and healing to overcome that desperation or to redirect the desire in a healthy way. I think it’s also the way society has raised us. I’m in my mid-40s, and throughout my life, especially as a girl, we were taught either by our families or by society that if we don’t have a man by a certain age, something is wrong with us. But we don’t talk enough about how dysfunctional relationships can ruin us. So a lot of women figure that a bad man or an abusive man or a piece-of-a-man is better than no man at all. Thankfully I was raised by a mother who was no nonsense when it came to how my father treated her.
@PeaceBeStill-
3 ай бұрын
Bingo! 🎯
@AudaL
5 ай бұрын
Have you done a video on men who are unmotivated / undisciplined and may be struggling with depression or anger ?
@MsChristianr
5 ай бұрын
Yes he has. It may be a red flag video.
@Dr.Elaine1
5 ай бұрын
Search for his name and those topics. Examples: Tony Gaskins and depression or Tony Gaskins and unmotivated.
@leticiajackson2237
5 ай бұрын
This hit hard and so true! This just really opened my eyes 👀 wide. I refuse to be disrespected or abused. I’d rather be single.
@harlequin.intuitive
5 ай бұрын
I really don’t know. I follow everything tony says and don’t act desperate. I check myself the second I start to get attached. And then they ghost me, they stop texting, they lose interest. It wasn’t him. But I’m 30 years old and never been in a relationship. So these women running around desperate tell me “well what do you know?” Nothing.. I know how to be by my damn self and it’s probably gonna stay that way
@LovelyOne0075
5 ай бұрын
Some of it is trauma, but it's also fairytale thinking. Fairytale thinking has a stronghold on women and some men too, and it's not just Disney fairytales, it's the fairytales that come through music, movies and romance novels. And what we don't understand is the things we have been fed ourselves through these avenues are actually counterproductive to real healthy relationships because they come from Satan or our fallen flesh. Satan is void of love. The only thing he can offer us is lust, idolatry and emotional bondage and package it as love. Satan can't give us a healthy take on love. So what we see as love in the media is not real love.The man that's sweeping you off your feet might be an emotional manipulator and what you're confusing as romance and love is actually love bombing and manipulation. Another running theme in romance is the Florence Nightingale take: love him/her back to health, turn the bad guy or girl into a good guy or girl by doling out your love on him and that love will be appreciated and reciprocated...it conditions us to stay in relationships where we see the good and put up with the bad because if they have those good moments, we can work on all the bad. When you have these embedded beliefs, they may not question the beliefs, they will question the person that they are not getting the "fairytale" from. So they move on from person to person getting the same outcome but not questioning their beliefs, and that's when what you say goes in one ear and out the other.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
The fairytales do not include abuse though. No fairytale has any prince thwacking princesses over the head legs or any other area. I'd say the fairytales do make females susceptible to being swept off their feet by pretenders and there aren't enough fairytales telling princesses what to do with a prince who turns out to be a clown in a crown. Children's book writers, alert
@LovelyOne0075
5 ай бұрын
@@nzingahoney Fairytales do not include abuse, but fairytale thinking can be precursors to abuse. Abusers do not show up as themselves in the beginning. They are usually charmers, hence "prince charming". That's not to say all people who are charming are abusers, but abusers know this is how they have to present themselves because they know this is what women have been taught to fall for. There are plenty of women who were in abusive relationships who would say in the beginning he treated her like a princess and they thought he was their prince charming, hence Anita Baker's song Fairytales.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
@ThisGirlNameKD the issue I have with your analysis is that it suggests that women ought not to expect charm from genuine men. I have a serious issue with this. Why is it that the truly good guys are not motivated to be charming, clever, witty, and good with words, as the players and charmers most often are? Why is it that women who appreciate wit and good conversation banter or repartee are shamed into being more 'realistic'? We do all kinds of things to become men's fantasy, but all they have to do is be good. No, I reject that. I want love, consideration, provision, passion and wit too.
@LovelyOne0075
5 ай бұрын
@@nzingahoney Situational awareness: I did say previously that not all charmers are abusive. There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man to have a little bit of charm to him. But charm can be used as a means and tool to deceive because they know women like that and it works... that's reality. It's not about how things should be, it's about how things are. So knowing that, what do we do when presented with it? Allow our hearts to be captivated because this is what we have always desire or.. pause... use discernment and time to see if it's in fact genuine before getting our hearts involved? If a woman does not know this could be used as a means to deceive, she's going to think charm is always a sign of his authentic character or self, and where would she get that belief from? I'm a woman also and let's be real...many of us see the world as how it should be versus how it is. I'm not saying a woman can't have what she wants if it's based in reality, but sometimes we have to take a step back and assess our beliefs about relationships and where they came from. That's not shaming women, that's educating them so that they know how to proceed out here in these real dating streets.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
@ThisGirlNameKD okay, I get this. But your choice of words led me to suspect you believed women should not seek the sort of intellectual stimulation that comes from eloquence and elegance in a man's words and way with her. I am just saying it is no crime for women or authors to raise such sophistication as a standard for women's Ideal men or role models for husbands.
@shantellewing3352
5 ай бұрын
❤ thank you Tony!
@shaikasanchez4037
5 ай бұрын
Preach Tony! 🙏🏽 Word was ON POINT!!!💯💯💯
@user-lb2xi2gh6o
5 ай бұрын
This was a great post. Thank You Tony.
@roenafenty4921
5 ай бұрын
Amen 🙏🏾 GOD Bless you and your family Always!!!
@BreAnnaLeeKing
5 ай бұрын
I Love You Brother and Thank You! Much Love!
@laina034j7
5 ай бұрын
Tony thanks for always sharing the truth! I definitely can relate. I’ve been here as well. When you were speaking the song Everybody Plays The Fool came to mind. Lord please give us the strength to walk away and never look back! ❤️🙌🏽
@eringay8965
5 ай бұрын
I think women in general want love so bad, we stay hopeful and thinking that this particular relationship can work. Also thinking that we are “the exception” in the relationship. With wisdom, experience and knowledge you then will learn. That is my experience.
@ericabridley5679
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for the message. Ears are open, and eyes are seeing.
@SweetTreatsBy_Marie
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for your Wisdom and willingness to teach us . 🙏🏾
@lindarobinson1980
2 ай бұрын
I walked away from a 25 year marriage. I stayed to long!! My mother kept telling me," That's your husband. Just let him do what he want to do." Wrong advice...!! I should have set boundaries early into the marriage.😢😢 I will never again enter into a relationship without holding a man accountable. Even at the age of 71 years, I never waste my time and efforts with someone who is not equally yoked!!
@lavetteharden4835
5 ай бұрын
MY MOTHER COULD NOT WALK AWAY AND IT ALMOST CAUSE HER TO LOSE HER LIFE. IT CAUSED ME TO NEVER WANT TO GET MARRIED!! PLEASE LADIES IT IS BETTER TO BE ALONE THEN IN BAD COMPANY!!
@azucar.morena
5 ай бұрын
A message that was right on time for me. Thank you Tony for allowing God to use you.
@nora_jean2800
5 ай бұрын
Tony. A lot of us ladies have grown tremendously since following the message, we just don’t post it. I know it may not seem like it, but we are getting it!!! Some of us a little slower than others but it’s working and our strengthened mindset and boundaries are proof. Thank you 🙏 My life has truly been changed and blessed by living God’s way.
@ramonaphillipsteach3284
5 ай бұрын
So sad, I use to go through this in my 20’s 30’s. I was 32 when I went into therapy from childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, not having my voice. Today I am very aware, humble, know my worth. I know myself and I am still growing in character. Ladies God will teach you how to love and forgive yourself and others. God heals a wounded heart. Many women don’t know their worth, we were not taught, many did not have a healthy God fearing man in their lives. There is brokenness abuse, abandonment, rejection issues.
@misskaykay1856
5 ай бұрын
This is true. You never really know what you gonna do in ANY situation until you are actually in it. Judging things we know nothing about comes to easily until it happens to you. Thank you for the message ❤😢
@renonaweathersby7611
5 ай бұрын
I finally walked away from my marriage I told him you have finally burn me out!! The foolishness at 52 plus after realizing he is a narcissist. He said he want to be street so bad, so let the street have him. I should have left long time ago but I am free now thank you Jesus❤
@sweetpea7362
5 ай бұрын
Good for you sis for choosing you. Your always the right choice. 🫶🏾
@misguidedpearls7456
5 ай бұрын
Idk I run when u hurt me And I'm known not to come back... My parents trauma made my dating less painful I think... Im not perfect however If i feel rejected or taken advantage of in most cases I quietly run N i mean fast😮😮😮😮 I just never never thought we need anyone that much I wasn't taught love is pain... I was also a only child for almost 9 years ... That may be why.... Ive had pain but i guess I'm not the type to be dragged through the mud.. My pride couldn't take it.. Id rather cry alone Than cry n u draggin n embarrassing me I don't think anyone deserves it. I don't think people who love u disrespect u. I have dates controlling n jealous men.. But i don't last once u start to embarrass or test me... I can't take what i wouldn't do to someone.. However i did grow up in and out of church So i had expectations of love n respect. So i didn't think struggle love was normal
@delialujan1834
5 ай бұрын
Hello to you,.. I first of all wanted to say thank you for your service and teaching. Now, the reason women don’t listen is mainly due to their upbringing; I would not be able to say this unless I have lived it. The women now are are attracted to “what” they are, which is broken. We are not taught, we are neglected and abused as children and all the attitude and disregulated behavior comes from a defense mechanism that we believe will work but doesn’t. We stay with that man because our minds have been controlled and conditioned that cheating and abuse is normal. We put up with it because that hole of neglect is so deep rooted that being with out it feels like the most painful feeling in the world that you’ll do Anything to have it.
@thatbeau1807
5 ай бұрын
Women definitely don't listen especially when you try to warn them! This why I don't have friends. They get offended when you look out for them.🤔🫣😩
@NaomiRGlee
5 ай бұрын
Tony Thanks, because of your teaching I have definitely learned to be intentional and to walk away. 🚶♀️ It's a process and for so long we have not been taught. Some of our parents did not know how to teach us, so we appreciate you. I believe it's more of this then being desperate (however their are some); also the Church teach us Grace and forgiveness 🙏 and submission and for years how God hate divorces, so we try and stick it out hoping and not so much of thinking we change them, but hoping they change for the better 🙏. Keep teach we getting it. One don't have to drag me down a road, and put me in a can before I get it!!! This is my conclusion! THANK YOU!!! Happily single and loving ❤️ me while taking Therapy to heal between walking away.
@nzingahoney
5 ай бұрын
I agree Tony. WE WERE NOT TAUGHT.
@AnnDonley
5 ай бұрын
So informative I am listening and you have really been helping me in my relationship.
@vinadouglas119
5 ай бұрын
Keep teaching TG ❤
@lauramapani3627
5 ай бұрын
Tony, you are 💯 right. We are like this 😭. Im working on my BBB's so that im not desperate and giving in to the tom foolery! Also you were spot on about the Passport bros. 8 of them were killed in Columbia!!!
@Arya-pe1dr
5 ай бұрын
🥰🥰🥰🥰Thanks Tony u wonderful gem of a young man!!! I was that giving girl/woman from age 15 to about 36 when I finally woke up from the haze I was in with my useless taker teenage sweetheart. I fell hard for him and he wasnt even worth all that i gave for all thise years and received little to nothing in return! Look at the time I wasted. However, I am grateful that my blinders did come off eventually and I am hopeful to one day encounter the real man who I can give love to and have it reciprocated because I have learned to have standards from the beginning!!!
@Arya-pe1dr
5 ай бұрын
👍👍👍👍🥰🥰🥰🥰We love and appreciate u Tony!!!!!
@jehannedufresne3998
5 ай бұрын
Thank you for the thought-provoking video. Here's what I'm thinking: we, women have been conditioned to want to have a man, to be married, to have kids, and to take care of everybody else but ourselves no matter the cost. I'm professionaly single; meaning I've been single for so long, I should have made a profession out of it. Lol 😆 On a serious note, I'm glad I got to be single for that long because I used to have low self-esteem, used to be a people pleaser, didn't deal with my traumas, and used to always seeking validations; plus, I was not a Christian and didn't know my purpose. Who I used to be was perfect recipe for any ill-intentioned man to mess me up. Thank God that didn't happen. Now, I got God/Jesus/Holly Ghost, got counseling, and self-love. There's family pressure to get a man; I know my own family gave up on me in finding one. I observe that every time I would date someone, they would get involved in my life. But when I'm single, they get distant. All of my married cousins get more attention: I'm talking visits, phone calls, presents. I don't take it personal 'cauz they are influenced by society that says women are not enough if she does not have a man and kids. I don't have both. But it's all good! While everyone is tied up with extra responsibilities, here I am enjoying life, traveling, trying different hobbies, money spent on myself, volunteering. I'm relying on God to match me with someone. If it does not happen, at least I get to enjoy my life.
@Amina-jw1iy
5 ай бұрын
A man recently ask me 4 sum money. I told him straight up. “ I don’t give no man no money especially when he ain’t mine”. He ain’t like it but I didn’t care!🙄😒
@tamaraimbata4438
5 ай бұрын
Wtf. Never give em money. That’s their job
@queenkeesh8660
5 ай бұрын
True that’s a real turn off
@cathybennett8421
5 ай бұрын
Find out who you are before you look for someone else to share your life with you. Know your value
@TiffanyNicholeCatley
5 ай бұрын
All truth! Alot of it is generational tramua and conditioning. Even family and friendships are affected by this. Being single and learning healthy tools is one thing. But that work will always be tested in relationships. I wholeheartedly agree that those doing the work need to stand on business more. It would force others to rise to the level they need to or get left behind.
@ncollazo7140
5 ай бұрын
I tried to held him responsible and he had the side chick at our place the next day. So, it happens but I’m glad I did. God is working in me and for that I am thankful!
@maryamk.5733
5 ай бұрын
Thank you Tony 😢.
@ramonaphillipsteach3284
5 ай бұрын
GREAT VIDEO. I blew up the comments with my testimony of healing, growth.🙌🏽🙏🏽💕
@onehappichic7099
5 ай бұрын
Always dropping gems 💎
@ramonaphillipsteach3284
5 ай бұрын
I divorced my husband because of what Tony is talking about. Today, while I am still growing, I am Waiting on God to confirm the man He has chosen for me.💕💕💕💕🙏🏽
@amandag2115
5 ай бұрын
much needed message, we can all learn from. 🙏 I think God created a woman to love and be loved. The attributes and true nature of a healthy woman is a blessing to a man, and vice versa. unfortunately this forgiving, nurturing and loving nature can be a downfall in the wrong relationship and can cross over into weakness and desperation when women are too tolerant and forgiving over and over again and rewarding unacceptable behaviour. I’m a Christian and I truly believe in building healthy communities and relationships. It starts with what the Bible says and you don’t throw pearls to swine. Just my thoughts. Thank you Tony for your message
@veebliss1266
5 ай бұрын
Wait until that woman gets so broke down she has NO choice but to leave and love herself! She will learn the HARD way!
@TrishaBurris
5 ай бұрын
Tony I do believe, GOD made us this way, it's innate in us to seek love light. I consider myself a smart, intelligent woman and very observant, but I have fallen short of letting a man do me wrong. It's crazy cause we see it and know what's happening but still hard to walk away. I've learned from you a lot you have to have that foundation with GOD and be obedient to the Laws of the Lord
@user-es7og5kk1b
5 ай бұрын
Congratulations on over 500k subscribers!!!!
@bunkeepitmovingjoseph
5 ай бұрын
Thank you brotha👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 The Keywords here are POSITIVE RECIPROCATION 🎯 If this is not readily established or available as the FOUNDATION of ANY of your "Ships" Make No announcement, and Move along swiftly. That's my take from it. It will save you from ALOT of 💔. BE ENCOURAGED PEOPLE. Blessings and Love....from the U.K
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