As sad as it sounds, the parents need to simply let them struggle. They won’t figure it out until they feel the heat.
@Playingwithproxies
Ай бұрын
Yep it will be an expensive lesson but they could have taught their daughter better 12 years ago 😅
@harthart7529
Ай бұрын
Yup. All grandma is gonna do is put her grandchild in a broken home because she doesn't want to mind her own business. Grandma needs to get a hobby.
@Ap_twsh
Ай бұрын
Yup
@JudePi-jx7yo
Ай бұрын
@@harthart7529 Grandma is breaking the home?
@OhWell0
Ай бұрын
The son in law is out the door no matter what grandma does. Work ethic isn't something you can buy online, he's out.
@duvessa2003
Ай бұрын
If your goal is to have a child and be a stay-at-home mom, you don’t marry a 27 y.o. guy who has never supported himself. Now he’s supposed to support 3 people? Not realistic.
@Jane5720
Ай бұрын
He’s not 27 anymore he’s older
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
Straight up. Where were these parents when she started dating him?
@angelareal8599
Ай бұрын
That's the root of the whole problem! I agree
@liketearsintherain832
Ай бұрын
Yep
@AMM3.
Ай бұрын
@@Jane5720 but he's still never supported himself, he's always had a woman looking after him
@Kbechtel04
Ай бұрын
I will say as a Christian man, it’s even worse that he’s in ministry and doesn’t work. 1 Timothy 5:8 commands that if the man doesn’t work hard and provide, he is worse than the unbeliever
@deboracopeland4795
Ай бұрын
Wow I’ve read the bible front to back and thought it was us atheist that were at the bottom.
@alexmitchell7083
Ай бұрын
@@deboracopeland4795no there’s many scriptures describing how much worse it is to be a lukewarm believer or someone to proclaims Jesus but doesn’t live it. It’s very humbling to read those passages. Anyone who is arrogant in their Christianity has not studied them.
@jamesearl389
Ай бұрын
@@deboracopeland4795nah, you guys will see the truth too. I’m not better than you, God just reveals in stages. I look at an atheist and I see a future brother/sister. I say this because God said EVERY knee will bow and EVERY tongue will swear allegiance to Me. Christians skip over that one sometimes. So, nothing but love for you
@GameChanger597
Ай бұрын
@@jamesearl389That's one of the most powerful scriptures to many christians. However when the Bible says every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is lord, this is after Jesus returns so it will be too late for many people at that point therefore they won't be our brothers and sisters but they will still know the truth
@Kojow7
Ай бұрын
@@deboracopeland4795Where in the Bible did you read that atheists were at the bottom? The bottom of what, exactly?
@joycejudd5109
Ай бұрын
just a suggestion: don't allow your daughter to "vent" her frustration to you. Gently say to her, "there's nothing we can do and I'm so sorry. But you need to talk with your husband". If you allow her to vent to you, she's able to discharge her hurt and frustration, and you're the one walking around sick. Love her, but don't allow her to give it to you. she needs to feel it long enough and hard enough, so that she can face the truth, and and then talk with her hubby.
@susanspianostudio7057
22 күн бұрын
This
@vivianworden2706
Ай бұрын
She picked a man's promised potential and not who he really is. **** promised potential *** meaning his mouth cut a check his actions won't cash
@loannebhold
Ай бұрын
💯
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
Bs! It doesn't even look like he had any promised potential😂😂😂
@phoebeintheforest
Ай бұрын
He lived at home until he was 27! A woman closer to his age might have seen the problem with this. She was barely out of her teens when she married him.
@yambagnelson9987
Ай бұрын
@@phoebeintheforest Exactly. Guy was a loser. They rasised a daughter who marries losers.
@CandiLain
Ай бұрын
Problem is: at this point in life he should have something to show for his efforts and be able to support his family.
@armandoweckmann5699
Ай бұрын
Her daughter made a choice. Step back and let them struggle. Struggling makes people better. Handouts make things worse.
@castlequay2327
Ай бұрын
yes i helped my son when he married young as he had difficult mental health issues ( after big surgery). he married at 23 and i still help him financially so i havent been able to retire. ive told him that it stops when he is 40 ( 2 more years). I do it for his wife and children....subsidising their rent.
@Ap_twsh
Ай бұрын
Yup it’s why society will collapse soon, a lot of lazy kids and parents making their lives too easy.
@not-even-german4892
Ай бұрын
Noooooo o-o not my child
@Tionaintown876
Ай бұрын
@@castlequay2327Wow! How old are you now?
@AngelaMastrodonato
Ай бұрын
@@castlequay2327you’re better than me. I would have cut him off at 30
@jsChelimo
Ай бұрын
He's 30, and she's 22 😂😂😂😂😂. That man will NEVER change. The only thing she can do is save herself.
@fjones5890
Ай бұрын
🎯. He prob married her hoping she’ll stay infatuated with him and now that it’s wearing off will start isolating her from her parents and their common sense. He’s waiting on her to go back to work.
@northgirl77
Ай бұрын
@@fjones5890yep the nasty games men play ughh
@saltysaty8686
Ай бұрын
@@fjones5890she said the daughter is talking to parents about it. So the isolation from parents is not what's happening.
@beastshawnee
Ай бұрын
oh good lord! He’s 30?!
@watermelonlover745
Ай бұрын
How do you know? Some situations are temporary
@mustangthings
Ай бұрын
“He’s in ministry” Oh boy. “God wants me to be lazy”
@JustinCase780
Ай бұрын
And, with the arrogance of thinking he's special when he's a phoney.
@ew5601
Ай бұрын
Which is crazy cause the Bible talks about how God is against laziness 😭
@loannebhold
Ай бұрын
even though sloth is one of the 7 deadly sins🤣
@wranglergirl5
Ай бұрын
I wish John went off like he wanted to cuz it needs to be called out for the bullshit that it is
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@KaysWorld4
Ай бұрын
We really need to start holding people accountable for their actions. Why would you have a child with someone that only works part time? Their finances were probably a mess before the baby.
@arijana6524
Ай бұрын
This!! And she knew mom would help Thats so sad
@mo-sy9ws
Ай бұрын
So true!
@beepbopboop7727
Ай бұрын
She chose to “see the best in him” and got with him for “his potential”.
@celrocc8766
Ай бұрын
Exactly
@opia7693
Ай бұрын
And she's calling talking about the way he was raised. What does it say about the way they raised *their* daughter they she'd marry a man who didn't work full time?
@Elizabethatthebeach
Ай бұрын
My dad always said, "This is your house. It always will be. You can come home anytime." That knowledge of having a safe landing place, helped me leave a dangerous situation, and get to a place of safety and provision.
@deboracopeland4795
Ай бұрын
I’m so happy to hear this. ❤
@watermelonlover745
Ай бұрын
Stop putting common sense on the Internet
@speteydog2260
Ай бұрын
Me too , and I got back on my feet into my own place with my child.
@BusArch42
21 күн бұрын
We said the same to our three
@jessiejoseph1093
Ай бұрын
Let them sink or swim. Why did your daughter have a baby with a guy who does not know how to provide for himself let alone a family?
@pld-wc7gf
Ай бұрын
Women who want to be married tend to have low standards.
@jurikowhy359
Ай бұрын
Why did a man marry someone and make a child with someone when he knew he wasn’t going to provide for them?
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
That part. She knew she wanted to be a SAHM, so she should have married a man with the ability to do so. This is like needing a pick up truck but buying a mini Cooper. I can't be mad at the mini Cooper for not being a pick up truck. She married a non provider. Why is she mad that he isn't providing?
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
@jurikowhy359 to be fair, maybe he wanted to marry a woman who wanted 50/50 relationship.
@sweetcheeks5775
Ай бұрын
because women are taught to marry for “love” rather than use common sense.
@darlayeates510
Ай бұрын
When I was CAREFULLY picking a husband, his ability and willingness to work was something I took a look at. As a result, I got to be a stay at home mom.
@thejakelegion
Ай бұрын
Good for you! My wife and I are in our early 30s. We have 4 little boys and my wife gets to stay home and raise them full time. And because we planned this before baby #1 even arrived, I was able to build an income that dwarfs most modern couple's combined incomes. But it just took some actual planning and talking things over in advance, not trudging through life until we're forced to make decisions.
@beepbopboop7727
Ай бұрын
Yep. At 22 she probably didn’t think this through at all
@valerieodonnell6764
Ай бұрын
Me too. The number one reason I didn’t marry a previous boyfriend who really tried hard to convince me to was that I wasn’t convinced he could hold a job long term. Someone close to me had similar reservations about her husband before marriage but her mom’s advice was “if you love him that’s what matters.” It’s been a disaster. I’m way too pragmatic for that.
@lohengrin4009
Ай бұрын
I hope you’re ready for when the children don’t need you anymore, don’t sleep on that little tidbit.
@boston312
Ай бұрын
hey good for you, you found yourself a man who will work himself to death for you and your baby!!!
@swennerb
Ай бұрын
People always say “I would die for my kids! “But… they won’t get a job for their kids. They won’t save money for their kids or plan for their future or be financially responsible. Before you thought about “staying home”, you should’ve thought about how you would pay for the family you started.
@carlaritchie331
Ай бұрын
🎯
@ellenmorse8559
Ай бұрын
@@carlaritchie331Exactly! 👌
@timmyjunior1
Ай бұрын
That's the thing, dying isn't difficult
@SnifferSock
17 күн бұрын
Add getting healthy for their kids. Too many parents would rather be lazy and eat garbage than spend another 15-20 years with their kids/grandkids.
@andthatisTricemakeuphairlife
Ай бұрын
22 and 30 told me all I needed to know . He strategized all of this .
@marilyndalen3197
Ай бұрын
The wife should have taken his work ethic into account before she got married
@JudePi-jx7yo
Ай бұрын
Strategized what? He's a manchild who certainly wasn't attracting a 27 yo woman but don't think he planned to be broke and relying on in laws.
@roisindubh1883
Ай бұрын
@@JudePi-jx7yoThat is the strategy. Trick a naive teenager into paying your bills and when she gets knocked up, mooch off her parents until they die. Continue to live like a high school kid, barely work, and pretend to be a man of God in front of everyone else in town.
@austindaniels1680
Ай бұрын
The man's a preacher for God's sake. The purest work. What strategy
@farhana6913
Ай бұрын
@@JudePi-jx7yo no but she was 19 hardworking when they met. She saw he was nice and knew she would be more forgiving than women his age. Shes was more likely to see the potential. Now obviously she's an adult but a naive teenager too. But now she's grown and she has to look back and see that
@KathleenMcNe
Ай бұрын
So the daughter married him, knowing he was lazy, and now wants him to miraculously become an ambitious man and good provider. Brilliant.
@ThePrincessWorrior
Ай бұрын
He’ll change, she said. Or “i love love love him, i can do it all, as long as I have him.”
@TheHungarianchick
Ай бұрын
Her age explains it.
@Mudpaws
Ай бұрын
Love can make you do stupid things
@RobDob1569
Ай бұрын
My wife’s sister married the same type of guy. It’s sad. My MIL hates it and tries to help/fix it. At some point you have to let adults deal with adult mistakes. Otherwise nothing will change.
@yorocco1
Ай бұрын
Kind of mean. She was only 22.
@Afton32
Ай бұрын
Your daughter doesn’t get to be a SAHM if her husband can’t solely provide for her and their child and save for their future 🤷🏼♀️ that’s just that on that. He either gets a better job or she has to work. Period.
@KosmiosMom
Ай бұрын
Sad but true!
@Gotoworkkk
Ай бұрын
Yes!!!
@eloisemarie5219
Ай бұрын
She picked badly
@The-Oneness11
Ай бұрын
Yes but their marriage will suffer.
@seattlegirl2077
Ай бұрын
@@The-Oneness11 Isn't it already?
@claytonmarkin7863
Ай бұрын
This hits home because I was that guy at one point. We weren’t married with a kid yet, but my girlfriend (now wife) told me pretty directly that I needed to get my act together and get a job or she was moving on with her life. I wound up getting the highest paying job I’d ever had a week later, and it was 100% because of that ultimatum. After two years, it was her who told me to leave that job because she thought I could do even better. This guy should know, you can go from bum to pretty darn successful in two years. You can go from being on the verge of being left to very respected in your field pretty quick
@maylynbayani
Ай бұрын
Agree. Did the same with my husband twice. Works all the time. I meant it, too. Sometimes, when we talk, he tells me that he doesn't think he would have ever reached the state he is now had I never encouraged him to do better.
@erikaerika7788
Ай бұрын
SAME ..❤ my husband doing incredible now ❤❤❤❤
@ruthmgonigle5914
Ай бұрын
Amazing 🤩
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
Damn. I messed up. Now I know why I thr main bread winner and running the household. I didn't put my foot down.
@Ag83704
Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing! Great job making the necessary changes and sacrifices to change the future for your family! This man is fully capable of changing and becoming a great breadwinner for his family. We all have the capacity to rise up to meet the challenges of life and succeed.
@cassiesheart3012
Ай бұрын
I eye rolled and said out loud “oh my word” when she said he’s in ministry. My husband feels called to ministry too but your FAMILY is your first ministry!!! Right now my husband even turned down a leadership program because he’s literally working 3 jobs so we can get out of debt first
@watermelonlover745
Ай бұрын
Facts
@Sam11747
Ай бұрын
I'm being serious, did the "leadership program" you mentioned have some fees?
@azbuckeyegirl9523
Ай бұрын
I'm almost in tears because I wanted to call John and have the exact same conversation.
@abigailblackstock4928
12 күн бұрын
Let them struggle. If you raised your kid right, there'll be a point where she jerks the chain. And he's going to have to listen or go. I did this with my partner, he wanted to wait for the right job. An understandable sentiment, not a realistic one. That's when I pulled on him. I told him that I wouldn't marry someone who wasn't willing to take a job, even if it was minimum wage. Wasn't a hard discussion for us, thankfully, he just didn't know it bugged me that much, a month later, he was working a part time gig and he and I were sharing the weight of bills and the like. It'll take a struggle, but a good hard worker will lose patience and make the partner pull as well, in the end.
@azbuckeyegirl9523
6 күн бұрын
@@abigailblackstock4928 Thank you so much. This gives me hope.
@DoraExploringg
Ай бұрын
If he truly was in ministry he would know I Timothy 5:8: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
@amelianazzaro1387
Ай бұрын
When you said “him not providing is just a lack of fidelity” . That's powerful.
@Duhclay
Ай бұрын
Only IF you're talking traditional roles, otherwise its just hypocritcal.
@user-do2ev2hr7h
Ай бұрын
He's talking about the roles they decided upon and apparently want.
@Sammvoy
Ай бұрын
@@Duhclay if there’re not taking traditional roles it’s even more important because they both chose to have a child they both will need to provide for. They can’t abdicate that responsibility.
@allinlen
Ай бұрын
No it's B.S. He is working and She is not.
@user-do2ev2hr7h
Ай бұрын
@@allinlen That's what being a sole provider means. He didn't have to do that, but then he shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place. When you agree to take on responsibilities, you can't whine when people hold you to them.
@kiesh82
Ай бұрын
If no one discouraged her from marrying and having a baby with him, that’s a shame. Daughter needs to step into reality. Forget a “dream of being a sahm,” get a job and provide for your child. And don’t get knocked up again.
@peachluck1050
Ай бұрын
Good advice.
@Jimjam482
Ай бұрын
Here here
@davidmolina7543
Ай бұрын
Bingo
@tfernandez6806
Ай бұрын
Bingo
@mattorama
Ай бұрын
Women should be discouraged from being with men who refuse to be slaves? Wow, feminism is a DISASTER.
@donnayoung5942
Ай бұрын
I’m sure there were LOTS of red flags about this man before her daughter agreed to marry him.
@3beltwesty
Ай бұрын
Women get off and are attracted to red flags. Like flies on cow manure. So they reject dozens of hard working men and mate with bums. That is the norm for many decades and reason the usa leads the world in percentage of single moms.
@chiefguns1980
16 күн бұрын
Yep, and the parents tried to tell here ( mom said that earlier in the conversation), but Missy chose love over common sense.
@nemicouture
10 күн бұрын
She’s 22….
@Blue98332
Ай бұрын
This is part of the mother’s fault. As moms, we need to teach our daughters that they need to consider the life they want to live when picking a husband. It’s not just about loving someone and hoping they will change and give you what you want. She knew who he was before they got married and had a child.
@loannebhold
Ай бұрын
that's a great and simple way of framing it
@DDR88767
Ай бұрын
Women don't generally get to pick their husbands. Men pick the women they want to marry. She was just stupid enough to do it. At only 22 years, she definitely had more time to explore.
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
Yes. We have to install the proper vetting criteria into our daughters at a very young age. I think cardi b said it best, broke boys don't deserve no 🐈
@sweetcheeks5775
Ай бұрын
exactly. parents in our culture take no responsibility in not educating their daughters on how to date and what to look out for.
@peachluck1050
Ай бұрын
Agree. Marry up or do not get married-I wish my mom knew to tell me this.
@melstarr1864
Ай бұрын
I was once the financial secretary for our church, and, trust me, in most smaller congregations pastors don’t make much money. She had to know that before she married him and had a kid.
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
She thought God would provide. And it looks like that happened. Likely, the man has a ministry where he games with the youth, because he is connecting with today's youth. I bet the gaming screen at the church is big! But the parking is a wreck, and the bathrooms clog.
@cobrakai3732
Ай бұрын
There’s a difference between “not much money” and “can’t afford basic living expenses.” This guy is a clown and is using the ministry as an excuse to be lazy.
@julieosmondson5180
Ай бұрын
Your daughter married the wrong guy to be a stay at home mom. She needs to run to the work force. And your job is to mind your own business. The one bit of advice I'd give her is not to make a bunch of babies with this guy or they will be overwhelmed and in poverty.
@Sarasapien
Ай бұрын
Her daughter and grandchild is her business. She’s seeking advice - what’s wrong with that?
@WemmieFemmie
Ай бұрын
@@Sarasapien Exactly. Close families make it possible for a possible divorce to be easier.
@Sarasapien
Ай бұрын
@@WemmieFemmie I know exactly what you mean - I was once there, and the same age as the young lady they’re talking about in this episode.
@Sarasapien
Ай бұрын
@@gnamc ❤️
@mo-sy9ws
Ай бұрын
She needs her mom to help her by providing childcare. Get her in work, back on her feet so she can leave this deadbeat if that's what she wants to do. Definitely no more babies.
@kristencobb230
Ай бұрын
I was married to this lady’s son in law for 25 years. I’m a nurse and was the breadwinner and fortunately able to make ends meet with his salary as well. He always worked but never had any ambition whatsoever. Young ladies… choose wisely. Think about what you want for your future family BEFORE marriage. He’s 30 and wants his 22 year old wife to be the head of household. NO WAY.
@inthecarwithmik
Ай бұрын
reminds me of some of my extended family members: one of them has a PhD in Theology and has not worked a full time job in at least 20 years, has 9 kids, and lives almost entirely off government assistance, then uses “god has called me to ministry tho” as the excuse. it’s shameful & a terrible testimony. the damage done by lazy men like this is immeasurable
@i.g.electricity4512
Ай бұрын
Before I pay my married daughter’s bills, I’m having a conversation with her husband first. I want him to explain to me “why am I providing for your family”? He may have additional information that’s not being communicated by my daughter and I want him to accept responsibility & accountability for his role as her husband.
@JohnJillky
Ай бұрын
The details just got worse as the call went on 🥴
@foggyqubti6288
Ай бұрын
I know😮
@cyoohoos
Ай бұрын
The fact that the In Law has this much detail about the marriage an issue??
@d.m.3753
Ай бұрын
Yeah the age gap really through me off. Especially because in the beginning she mentioned her daughter used to be the breadwinner.
@3beltwesty
Ай бұрын
Like the lady telling me I should date this lady..then she later says she has been married 5 times already and has 4 kids
@maylynbayani
Ай бұрын
When I was younger and was considering suitors, one of the characteristics I watched out for is for a man willing to work ANY job to provide for his family. I have my own career and grew up comfortable. However, I have a very hard-working father, and I honestly dont think I can respect a man who can afford to be choosy while letting his family suffer. My husband is kind, faithful and more importantly, he is conscientious with money management. We both live below our means and save a good portion of our wages. But before that, we had to work jobs that were demanding and grueling. We both put in the work while striving for career growth. I love my husband but more importantly, I respect him.
@stephaniej.stanley2141
Ай бұрын
“ANY JOB” is key here. Some people will stay unemployed for 6 months because they have too much pride to work at McDonald’s while looking for something better.
@maylynbayani
Ай бұрын
@@stephaniej.stanley2141 yes! I asked my husband then boyfriend, point blank. What if his chosen career is not hiring? Would he be willing to be work any job? He answered that his dad was a civil engineer and when their company closed during a recession, he worked any job. Even making and selling sweets just so they would survive and taking on other odd jobs and short contracts for his engineering job. They survived. He was eventually re employed full time as a civil engineer but it left a great impression to my husband. That a real man provides no matter the circumstances.
@JudePi-jx7yo
Ай бұрын
@@stephaniej.stanley2141 Working any job isn't always the answer. Certainly is in the case of caller but a professional doesn't start cleaing a church and expect to get back in the game.
@Sam11747
Ай бұрын
@@stephaniej.stanley2141 Working any job can limit your ability to network, train, and apply to better positions. Hard working doesn't automatically equate with financial success. Because you can work really hard at McDonalds and be worse off, than collecting unemployment (which usually comes and unemployment insurance from past unemployment you pay into).
@gayeknight
Ай бұрын
My mother-in-law gave me a safe space to talk about “her son” and ask advice, vent, giggle about men, and all the things. I never had to bring those things into my parents’ home. She explained that she would always love her son, but she knew men did stupid things. What an amazing gift!
@Cassie00111
Ай бұрын
an acquaintance married a guy like this. 20 plus years later, he never worked a full time, full benefits, 40 hour a week job.
@martusia4594
Ай бұрын
40 or less is full time in European countries. How many hours is full time in the US? 😮
@trinathompson8587
Ай бұрын
Maya Angelou once said " when somebody shows you who they are,believe them the first time!" The wife already knew what kind of man she married,but she preferred to chase the fantasy of what she wanted him to be! By having a baby all she did was add more people for her to support,and instead of being a SAHM she will be the main breadwinner.
@slickdaddy6073
Ай бұрын
There’s nothing noble about working 60 hours per week and being broke. That’s a life lesson in adaptation and change in the least.
@thejakelegion
Ай бұрын
@@slickdaddy6073 PREACH! People, especially many Evangelicals, have a "poverty gospel" mindset. Like they're more holy for being broke. HARD PASS.
@jason_m5275
Ай бұрын
From the sounds of it I don’t think this dude is working no 60 hours a week 😂😂
@AMM3.
Ай бұрын
Sounds like he's working 30 hours a week for 2 people
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
This breaks my heart. The first caller.
@knowthyself8233
Ай бұрын
@@jason_m5275 for real 😂
@aviatrix7774
Ай бұрын
She is 22 and he is 30, of course he isnt going to be a provider. He was looking for a young wife because he is a man child and no woman his age would put up with him.
@JustinCase780
Ай бұрын
He's 30 and she's 22?! The guy is a loser. So much work available in the Dallas Fort Worth area.
@danielrn133
Ай бұрын
Agree. There are jobs everywhere. I live in northern Wisconsin and we have stores that have been closed days because of no staff. It's pretty wild. I am an RN and the work is unlimited. I made 150K in 2023 (with a ton of OT) because we so short staffed.
@Mmmmkaaay
Ай бұрын
Yeah I'm in Portland, OR.I went out the other night for drinks and the restaurant was closing at 8:00 p.m. And I was like what the heck is going on. Why is a bar closing at 8:00 p.m. And they said it was staffing issues. I'm guessing people are making all their money online now?@@danielrn133
@mightymouse9001
Ай бұрын
@@danielrn133 hell yea brother. My wife is a RN and I’m going back to school to join her. Once everything is paid off we’re going to just work 2 days a week and enjoy the rest of our lives coasting into retirement at the ages of 32 and 26
@jeretso
Ай бұрын
Lazy people have a lot of free time to party and smooth talk their dates lol.
@cur244
Ай бұрын
Great for him to get a young woman. The one thing this guy has going for him.
@sheldavidson
Ай бұрын
I was married to someone like this for 25 years. I was the breadwinner and did everything at home. The last three years he made $10,000 a year and he finally left me because I complained too much. 😂. I hope this young lady learns more quickly than I did.
@hillarybillary21
Ай бұрын
Jesus.
@stayroxy
Ай бұрын
......................................
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
Who supports him now?
@sheldavidson
Ай бұрын
@@lmiller1413 he’s had a bunch of different jobs so I guess he’s cobbled enough together plus the $80,000 I gave him. His car was repossessed, according to my daughter. I haven’t spoken to him since he left in June 2020
@harveypolanski755
11 күн бұрын
Why did you stay with him for so long?
@carterdoering3789
Ай бұрын
Let's be real here. A 30 yr old man marrying your 22 yr old daughter should have been the first clue that this guy takes the easy road in life.
@Alexander44665
Ай бұрын
There's nothing wrong with a 30 year old man marrying a 22 year old woman. He's a loser because he is lazy-not because of the age difference.
@laurameixner2897
Ай бұрын
He was 24 when she was 16.I wonder when they started dating?
@Playingwithproxies
Ай бұрын
@@laurameixner2897that seems incredibly presumptive of you
@Eric_Bassett
Ай бұрын
Eh, not necessarily. Many women date men older than them, this guys just broke. If he were a well off man/provider nobody would mention the age gap. Thats not uncommon tho, I see a lot of women dating men older than them.
@Stphne1968
Ай бұрын
What does that have to do with anything? I'm 12 years younger than my husband, I was 21 and he was 33 when we got married. We're still married 34 years and 5 kids later.
@woodybop129
Ай бұрын
Clicked on this just to make sure this was not my in laws calling in.
@maylynbayani
Ай бұрын
I would give hubby 2 weeks to sort it out or get out of my life. Extreme? Maybe, but nothing makes a wife more resentful than a man who does not provide.
@Playingwithproxies
Ай бұрын
lol she could also get a job if she leaves she’s getting a job
@Sam11747
Ай бұрын
Kind of a false premise though, because someone who would give 2 weeks notice to sort it out probably wouldn't be in a relationship with such a man to begin with.
@clearsky4003
Ай бұрын
Just leave immediately. If he didn't take the initiative to sort it out on his own after marriage, what would 2 weeks do? If he needs to lose you to finally realize what he had, it has to be done that way. If he remains the same and go hunting for younger ladies to take care of him, that's on him and you dodge a bullet in staying with this man forever. Women call the shot on themselves, never on the man because if he cares enough about the marriage, he should think of a solution and act on it. If he cannot, he shouldn't be married at all.
@ithinkigottalent4047
Ай бұрын
As the old folks used to say, "Finance before Romance!"
@smustipher
Ай бұрын
"You gotta have a J-O-B if you wanna be with me...."😅😅😅
@FromRussiawithvideo
Ай бұрын
Yeah maybe. Or that's a different kind of miserable life.
@clearsky4003
Ай бұрын
Older people in the past married very early before their career are successful, hence many children. Are you sure "finance before romance?"
@ga6589
Ай бұрын
All a parent can be for their adult kids is a good listener, not a problem solver.
@UTOT222
Ай бұрын
Exactly!
@cajbaf
Ай бұрын
AMEN...and I don't give advice unless they ask for it.
@davidmolina7543
Ай бұрын
Touché
@elderlypoodle9181
Ай бұрын
Thank you. I truly needed to hear that today. Perfect timing 🙏🏻. I’m not here to solve their problems. They are grown adults now.
@ga6589
Ай бұрын
@@elderlypoodle9181 Believe me, I have to keep reminding myself of this all the time!
@cherylbritt7227
Ай бұрын
Ugh her daughter married a BUM! I was 21 and was marrying a 30yo like this dude. My dad told me, “you have so many goals and dreams, you’re marrying a 30yo man…this IS WHO HE IS…he Is not going to change or grow with you.” Dad was 1000% right. I should have listened, it would have saved me a divorce. Fortunately, we did not have kids. This girl needs to RUN FOR HER LIFE! She has so much growing to do. She is going to support herself and this child alone anyways. Mine as well not support a grown ass man too. Cut the loses and divorce him.
@Wants2knowitall
Ай бұрын
Your comment is seriously underrated. It’s 100% true. Spot on. I was in the same position and we both know how this is going to end for this young lady and her child.
@3beltwesty
Ай бұрын
Bum. Lol old school term rarely heard today
@nemicouture
10 күн бұрын
Same, married one in my 20s. My parents warned me but I didn’t listen… they were right.
@brettemiller8046
Ай бұрын
I love John's response here! Its upsetting to see a family member with bills and a newborn they cannot afford. And the caller has to listen and see all the fear up close but ultimately can't do anything. We all just want to fix problems for people we love and where do you draw the boundaries? She can be honest, supportive, and have boundaries and thats what i love about John Delony's advise. I pray her daughter and son in law figure out how to step up and balance with their newborn.
@alfacentauri3686
Ай бұрын
My daughter had a boyfriend who didn't even provide for himself. He only got himself short jobs so he got some pocket money. She thought a child would make him take more responsibility. It didn't happen. He barely could take care of their daughter while she was at work. He was basically just a parasite. She eventually left him in the apartment, and then he had to face reality by himself. There was a lot of drama around their separation, so my ex and I had to summon on how our two families together could support and practically help our daughter. She has now found a new boyfriend who is hard working and caring, and they are building their future.
@curiousone6129
Ай бұрын
When my daughter was 17 21:55 and still in hs, she was dating a young man who had graduated from hs the previous year. He had no serious plans for college or a career, but was a newspaper distributor. The two of them thought they were in love. Not much discussion between them of their vision of their future. She's a smart and fairly pragmatic. She planned a gap year, then college, hoped for a career she would like, and a family. During Christmas, the boyfriend bought a ring, and proposed, in front of his family and the Christmas tree. She was not expecting it, but excited he had proposed, Christmas was romantic, but she was not really prepared for such a big step, even tho' she loved him. , She felt the pressure ( and the pleasure), and didn't want to embarasss him in front of his family, so she accepted. During the holidays, they came to see me ( I was divorced from her father and single at the time), to announce their engagement. I wasnt in favor of the idea at all, although he was a nice guy who treated her well. I was not in favor of the plan,, but kept my head and was kind about the news. I asked him where they wood live. He said he planned to buy a light house, fix it up, and live there. There was not much left to discuss. My daughter was practical enough to see the huge holes in that plan. She gave the ring back within a week. About a year later, she had another serious boyfriend. Her father and I loved this young man because he was very good to my daughter. And because he had such a good heart. When it was time for college, they decided to go to the same school, and live together. My husband and I weren't pleased, partly because we would be paying for college for her, but he had no resources to pay for his own, a no plans on how he would be able to do so. She refused to discuss details with us, and was FURIOUS when we brought it up. It became clear to us that whatever we provided would probably be split between them. Her bf was a philosophy major, an excellent student. He had dropped out of college for a year, because he couldn't afford the pricey private college he attended, and didn't want to get a job or loans. My husband and I were very against the arrangement she proposed, we couldn't afford to support both of them. We proposed that they each live at home and attend 2 years of community College. If he worked while attending school, he could afford to go to school. If she got her first two years finished at community College, she could save some money, while getting 2 years of college under her belt. If she really insisted an attending school together, they could do that in couple of years. She was absolutely furious at us, and refused to even discuss it. They both enrolled in college at her first choice. She took out loans for school, and still refused to discuss it. She finished school and graduated with excellent grades and an internship for a year. Meanwhile, the bf didn't finish college, but they stayed together. He proposed and she accepted. After graduation, she got a great job at a big international advertising agencies in NYC. She became an assistant producer making TV commercials. They got married and moved to NYC. He got a job right away, although it didn't pay much, he considered it a starter job while he looked for better jobs. Unfortunately, not a big market for philosophers. Much less with good pay., and no PHD. She liked her job, started being recognized and rose in responsibilities and pay I. Meanwhile, during that first two years,her husband made a couple of job changes to other low paying jobs. Finally found that her really liked a landscaping job, but had no interest in rising through the ranks. He just liked the manual labor. My daughter finally realized that although they loved each other in many ways, he had no ambition. She knew would never be able to have a family, unless she was the one to support the family. This was not their original plan. After hard discussions, they divorced, but are still friends. I believe, had she not had that first engagement. She might not have been able to recognize that somebody needs to pay for the dreams. Eventually, she met her match with a guy who has done well at his profession, and has the same vision of children, and a stay at home mother. They have 2 beautiful children she has been at home for during school ages, and the 4 of them are happy.
@beepbopboop7727
Ай бұрын
At least your daughter has learned from her mistakes.
@dorisbatchelor9600
Ай бұрын
@@curiousone61290
@curiousone6129
Ай бұрын
@@beepbopboop7727 Thank goodness!
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
Thank goodness she hD you guiding her. When we are young and naive, we don't know what we don't know about real life.
@thesewingeyedoc
Ай бұрын
If they are financially struggling, give them advice but it’s ultimately up to them to solve their financial problems. If they are struggling financially, the husband needs another job and the wife cannot be a SAHM, she need to get a job too.
@linhaton4957
Ай бұрын
Why a baby now? Daughter is too immature to be married with a baby. Mommy, stay out of this and let her grow up.
@ericonca
Ай бұрын
John's vocabulary and knowledge of euphemisms make these conversations flow so smoothly
@peachluck1050
Ай бұрын
The wife’s story is my own. Sadly, he will never change. Some men stay unemployable. Because there is a child, she won’t do anything about this, and he knows that. I found no solution for my situation except to soldier on and do what it takes to bring up a decent child. She (and her baby) got played by an unemployable man.
@jason_m5275
Ай бұрын
Maybe him being 27 and never having a job or moving out of his parents house could have been a sign. I don’t understand how someone gets played for years when it doesn’t sound like he’s had a job or income their entire relationship.
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
She played herself.
@salonsavy6476
Ай бұрын
Yup , I was with one for way too long!!
@peachluck1050
Ай бұрын
@@jason_m5275 - She is young (22) and got baby-trapped.
@cajbaf
Ай бұрын
@@jason_m5275 Exactly..why does everyone want to blame the other person when it was THEM who made the dang choice to be with that person. What he does or doesn't do does not negate her choice. Now she has to make the choice to stay (and shut up) or do something else for her and her child. As it's her parents calling, she isn't totally on her own.
@nanchesca3950
Ай бұрын
I was married to a guy like this. I worked part time after my son was born but i eventually had to go back to work full time and put my son in daycare. It broke my heart and i ended up divorcing my husband 2 years later. 16 years later he's still struggling to pay his bills, but no longer my problem
@Jendromeda
Ай бұрын
my daughter did this twice....both the men ended up resenting her and being angry at her for wanting more from them. she is single now with two children and struggling, holding down 3 jobs (two are part time). they expected and wanted what SHE could provide to THEM. They were moochers.
@loliwelch9151
Ай бұрын
Sorry to hear that! Out if curiosity, how old was your daughter when she met these guys, abd what was highest completed level of education?
@themadbassist795
Ай бұрын
Here’s an idea….if you can’t support a family, don’t start one.
@carlaritchie331
Ай бұрын
🎯
@ashleysmashley444
Ай бұрын
Exactly!
@3beltwesty
Ай бұрын
Usa leads the world in percentage of single mothers. So ingrained culture to not have a father or a bum as one..
@clearsky4003
Ай бұрын
Sometimes it's the guy's mum who want her son to settle down. Many years ago, i met a guy's mum during a vacation. Thankfully, she let me go after knowing my age. Her son was in his 50s and i was in my late 20s at that time. Seem like a nice elderly woman yet i would have rejected the offer too. I think by now, her son should have settled down with someone as his mum is actively looking around for him back then.
@elfwife
Ай бұрын
A man has no business being "in ministry" if he cannot - or refuses to - provide for his wife and children. Even heathens provide for their households! This woman's daughter should be taking this up with the pastors and elders at their church. Paul Washer and Voddie Baucham would have some strong words for him, I can tell you that.
@smustipher
Ай бұрын
Well said - I wonder if his pastor or other colleagues in the church are holding him accountable for this? Sounds crazy to allow someone to "minister" to people aka give advice and guidance when their own household is in dissaray.
@WOOFBTBWP123
Ай бұрын
This MIL sounds absolutely wonderful. She is asking what to do and she isn’t stepping in. Good for her!
@JudePi-jx7yo
Ай бұрын
Where was she when her 19 year old daughter was dating a 27 year old louse? Probably telling her he's christian and pure and that's great and he will grow.
@cita_m
Ай бұрын
My husband and I got married the summer after he graduated college, and he didn't have a job for the first three months of marriage and it just about killed him. Even if I could support him one day, he would not be able sit at home and not work to take care of me and our kids. He got his first professional position 12 years ago, and has changed jobs several times, but has never been unemployed for a day since that first job, and have always been provided for.
@rgeorge8618
Ай бұрын
I believe in ministry, but the Bible also says that if a man doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat & that folding of the hands leads to poverty.
@crizzyzay7854
Ай бұрын
Being in ministry is no excuse . My brother is a pastor AND on the side he’s an interpreter working from home for the court . He’s always busy but provides for his family .
@Mmmmkaaay
Ай бұрын
This is precisely why I told my daughter that if she wants to start a family, she better not marry a broke dude. She watched me kill myself working full time while doing the majority of housework and childrearing. It sucked. Most men think their job ends when they get home. A wife and mother's job never ends.
@chrisncountry4825
Ай бұрын
True and also a father who truly cares about his family he never turns off he is always ready to go for them
@kenlang2154
Ай бұрын
Your daughter will most likely be a single mother judging by how low quality women are today. Young men have learned from older men that marriage today is a prison sentence for men and if they want out it will cost them a bundle.
@lilred00051
Ай бұрын
Women of today have watched our mothers be married single mothers. We see the manipulative red pilled men and many of us are choosing to be single and/or child free. If men want patriarchy on a budget, we will either stay single or be extremely wise in our choices of a partner. Thank you for helping your daughter choose wisely.❤
@Mmmmkaaay
Ай бұрын
@@lilred00051 Amen.
@Jendromeda
Ай бұрын
@@kenlang2154 this caller has a low quality man. Prison sentence? LOL don't get married if you feel that way.
@JustinCase780
Ай бұрын
John won't say it but her daughter should leave this guy now instead of later. She's 22 and this will never change for the better.
@johnspence5689
Ай бұрын
I see, you’re one of those people
@fauxbro1983
Ай бұрын
Lol daughter gotta go work
@GoKU-xx2vg
Ай бұрын
You should never get married.
@FromRussiawithvideo
Ай бұрын
Then she can be a stay at home mom and live in luxury? Or find a provider mentality man why she is still young?
@duvessa2003
Ай бұрын
Right, and by the time she has several children by this guy it will be very difficult to find a worthwhile husband.
@4legs4paws55
Ай бұрын
If your daughter is that well raised, smart and Blablabla … why did she choose so poorly? 😅
@hansonallie
Ай бұрын
I hear that!
@1tommyday
Ай бұрын
Because she is 22
@Playingwithproxies
Ай бұрын
@@1tommydaycould have made her a smart 22 yo but that would require they raised her right
@AmirahJoy
Ай бұрын
Because life is messy and people aren’t perfect.
@PONDSHA
Ай бұрын
Her mom is in denial
@Honeybee-ym5vi
Ай бұрын
Whew. I'm in my mid 70s. I've seen this situation play out with others throughout my life. When you're younger, the situation can be more easily handled, but as more kids arrive and become older creating more expenses, the situation deteriorates rapidly. I wish had known, as I do now, that outlooks on finances which agree produce happier marriages. I wish them well.
@adamlucas1998
Ай бұрын
This is one of those instances we're she needs to mind her own business and let her adult daughter figure it out and if they fail they fail that's part of being an adult. And she is blaming it all on her son in law. My guess is the daughter is just as bad as him but doesn't want to deal with it
@amymikola
Ай бұрын
This is sad and familiar. My sister married a lazy oaf. He was good the first few years. Six kids later, she is the major breadwinner at minimum wage jobs. He ‘owns’ a contracting business and picks and chooses the jobs he feels like doing. Sits around or spends time trying to make his kid a professional athlete the rest of the time. My parents have picked up the slack. Mortgage payments, taxes, utilities. His parents as well, though they’ve recently backed off. We’ve told them to stop. They won’t. My dad says ‘I won’t let my grandkids starve.’ He’s 82 now. He doesn’t care anymore. My Sister is now 42 with two grandbabies. Has been on anti-depressants for 15 years. She and her husband have no sex life. They still spend a lot of money on non-necessities (eating out, smart phones, travel). I am mostly disappointed in my dad, honestly. 😢
@christinebutler7630
Ай бұрын
Why, in this year of 2024, is ANY woman reaching adulthood with skills that only get her minimum wage??? There's no excuse for that anymore.
@ChipsTheOrigamiLemon
Ай бұрын
Reminds me of my parents. My dad wanted a traditional marriage, then once he had her saddled with 5 kids he decided he was done working. He just loafed around for over a decade bringing in ZERO money, still expecting my mom to do all the cooking/cleaning/childcare, and he tried to sabotage all her attempts at making money since women belonged at home. Make it make sense. Extended family and church bailed us out repeatedly. Honestly, it makes me mad all the enabling people did with his bad behavior.
@user-lf2lf6wy4z
Ай бұрын
Wow. What a mess. Its hard to sit back and watch that.
@kenlang2154
Ай бұрын
@@ChipsTheOrigamiLemon Good for your dad! Women get away with watching t.v. and eating bon bons all day when they are sahm's.
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
I'm actually proud of your dad. He didn't let his grandkids suffer.
@debsthriftytips
Ай бұрын
My dad was a pastor AND worked 2 other jobs. This 30 yr old man is a joke and I highly doubt he’ll ever change. He has no reason to.
@hwinny2
Ай бұрын
I moved to Portugal a couple of years ago. Beside Catholic priest, 100% I believe of pastors have to work full-time to support their families. Most, if not all their time in the ministry is not paid or paid very little. It is volunteer of their heart. The cost of running a church, and everything that a church entails takes all if not the majority of the ties and offerings. The pastors here are very humble, hard-working, and loving human beings that care for their families and their congregations. It has been a blessing to be here.
@clee266
Ай бұрын
I respect this mother in law. She choose not to interfere. We need more like her.
@DuffyGabi
Ай бұрын
The least motivated people I know are young people in ministry. They work short hours, “trust God” for their finances. They have given up personal responsibility in exchange for the idea that everything will magically work out ok.
@heathergray9195
Ай бұрын
While they play video games for hours a day
@Marilyn236
Ай бұрын
I don't understand how you can quit your job to be at home when you can't pay your bills, what kind of concept is that?
@carolinarochapinto8552
Ай бұрын
I also don't get it. it is not a thing here in Portugal. And the ammount of people saying that she sould have chosen a better man for that purpose...what? Is using people the new thing?
@Lqtech00
Ай бұрын
@@carolinarochapinto8552daughter wanted to be a stay at home mom and for that to happen, she needed to choose a partner that could support their family on one income.
@NarutoShino818
Ай бұрын
Real masculine man will provide for wife and kid. Feminine loser will not.
@thejuliasaro
Ай бұрын
@@carolinarochapinto8552 In the US it is- women no longer want to work so they have to marry a man who will provide a certain lifestyle, then once they are SAHM's they continue to complain that they want more.
@clankgang6096
Ай бұрын
@@carolinarochapinto8552 You're missing a point. If she wanted to be a sahm, she should have chosen someone else or wait for her boyfriend to change BEFORE marriage. Yes, you should judge your partner's character and behavior before marrying them. And if their character and behavior doesn't suit your expectations or plans, you should look for someone else, instead of being unhappy with your first choice.
@sofiarangel1315
Ай бұрын
When she said the husband is 30!!!’ He totally brainwashed this girl 😮
@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86
Ай бұрын
Daughter has a degree. She is going to work and daddy is staying home. That happens alot now because more women go to college. If he has no degree he won't be making money. Restaurants and stores don't pay much.
@fionamerrin422
Ай бұрын
I thought that. My parents taught me to be self sufficient. I am. I’ve worked to achieve great qualifications and a very employable. Unfortunately because of that I married a man I loved. Great yes? No. I became my family’s credit card. I was no longer the wife or the mother. I just kept going to work. I was run down and destroyed. I left him and things are tough but I’m still self sufficient and I know I’ll work my way up to where I need to be again. If I had my time over I would look closer at what he could provide in return and be lead by his actions not his promises.
@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86
Ай бұрын
@@fionamerrin422 it's not so bad if he keeps the house clean, cooks dinner, grocery shops and takes care of the kids because that is a job in itself. Problem is most men do nothing to help with the house so you end up doing everything and work.
@fionamerrin422
Ай бұрын
@@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 👍 that’s great too. Unfortunately, for me, when the kids were sick or there were things at school where mums are different to dads, that biological pull was just too much. And our house was never clean! Until I paid the cleaner.
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
The other option is for her to not get a degree and be oppressed forever, because she can't support herself and her child.
@duvessa2003
Ай бұрын
@@lmiller1413 She already has a degree. She really settled with this guy, who does not have a degree.
@user-do2ev2hr7h
Ай бұрын
Why would you enter into a sole provider situation with someone who's never even had a full time job? This outcome was inevitable.
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@cajbaf
Ай бұрын
BINGO!!
@niratomas579
Ай бұрын
This was totally preventable too
@buzzsaw99
Ай бұрын
One would think!
@cur244
Ай бұрын
Some cheat with laziness, some with golf course and others with rejection.
@Eric_Bassett
Ай бұрын
I actually hated that bit.. cheating is cheating. Its not.. oh he/she plays to much golf or is lazy. Cheating is stepping out on your significant other with another person. No need to expand it. That other stuff when done to an extreme degree to the point that it causes issues in the marriage is called negligence.
@jsChelimo
Ай бұрын
Older men living off their much younger wives is an interesting trend 😮😮😮
@v.anessa1451
Ай бұрын
and everyone is trying to convince women in their 20s to date older ! no thanks 😂 men of all ages can be lazy bums
@Aaron-nw7qx
Ай бұрын
$100 says this creep was her church youth minister when he met her.
@highpriestessofmythal199
Ай бұрын
Everybody loving him was the bait that got him access to a women who is legally an adult, but not enough life experience to see the shepherd is just as dangerous as the wolf. A wolf will just eat you, the shepherd will kill you by a thousand cuts over a span of years. He baby trapped her, to ensure her fidelity to him.
@ST-rj8iu
Ай бұрын
My father told me "what you see is what you get". The husband was never a worker. You have to love the person as they are, not as you wish. Sounds like the daughter loves the "potential" that will not become reality. These are questions they should have decided on prior to the baby. I bet he thought she would go back to work and then realized daycare costs money. Stop expecting men to understand childcare. Many don't. Women have got to start taking accountability.
@ga6589
Ай бұрын
She never should've married the loser in the first place and saved herself a heap of trouble
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
What potential 😂😂😂???
@lmiller1413
Ай бұрын
I think she believed his lies and trusted that the lord would work it out. She didn't have street smarts.
@user-uo3pm1yd3r
Ай бұрын
I was the 22 year old, 23 years ago. Waited a long time to have a child and then when I did, I suddenly saw the light and got rid. Best decision ever. It was like having two babies at once. I’m now a strong independent woman with a good money job and a happy son whom I, and everyone he meets, adores.
@DakAiralednac
Ай бұрын
How did you do it
@user-uo3pm1yd3r
Ай бұрын
I think I just woke the hell up and my baby gave me the strength to want better for his life. My husband was so nasty when I was pregnant and when our son came along he didn’t provide or help me with anything. I knew I had to do it. I told him one Valentine’s Day ten years ago that I was done. He moved back in with his mum…which just proves everything! We are friends for the sake of our son, but I have greatly improved mine and my son’s life by retraining myself and am now in a well paid and stable job.
@user-ei8wi1kr9n
Ай бұрын
So At 30 , this father/ husband feels perfectly satisfied having in laws pay bills while he games…. Perfectly oblivious to his wife’s struggle…. The daughter needs to hear this. If she has to get a job to take care of the family and NOT do her job of raising her child, she might as well be without her husband. His job is to provide. Her job is to raise the children. Pick your partners wisely.
@kenlang2154
Ай бұрын
No, women joined the workforce decades ago and drove wages down...this is the fault of feminists. The majority of families have to have 2 people working. "Dr. John" is a simp wimp who caters to women. He's a 🤡 and rarely offers helpful advice.
@magicmarker7047
Ай бұрын
I think the mother said that the daughter manages all the bills etc. maybe that is part of the problem he never sees where they are running short. I don't agree that it is her "job" to raise the child it should be both of their goals to do that in a flexible manner. They need to talk about what they want in this relationship.
@jeretso
Ай бұрын
My buddy in his 30s too does not have a full time job either. He is the life of the party and relies on welfare. Great guy everyone loves him because he has time to hang out and help anyone.
@JustBree716
Ай бұрын
So the daughter married a guy who only worked part time on purpose 😅 So no mention of what he plans on doing before he thinks he's gonna marry my child. Hell what was the daughter thinking was gonna happen. They both sound sheltered to me.
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
Agreed.
@Diashi1267
Ай бұрын
There was no thinking. That’s the problem 😂
@philwill0123
Ай бұрын
Likely he was also a bullshiters claiming to change
@JustBree716
Ай бұрын
@@philwill0123 not buying that. He lived at home scratching his balls with a part time job. Ok girl is sheltered and lives in fairy land and honestly her mom needs to point the finger at herself. I wish my daughter would. Lol. I've made my expectations clear. Lol
@pipermarie8393
Ай бұрын
This is sad but a good reminder not to marry for potential. She’s young so she probably didn’t understand how this could play out. If he’s this immature, once she starts working, she will probably become the main bread winner, primary care giver to the kid and keep the house in order while cooking…what is he good for? This is a prime example as to why so many women are opting out of marriage and children. Hopefully she’ll learn so her second marriage can be more successful
@Cassie00111
Ай бұрын
She may eventually have to pay spousal support to this guy
@jonathanrocha2275
Ай бұрын
Bring this situation up to his elders!
@paulasmith7803
Ай бұрын
She will wind up leaving him. He just doesn't get it. The daughter won't be a SAH mom cuz she'll not have a choice about working. This has played out a billion times.
@lauren4078
Ай бұрын
Instead, she will be a single mom.
@ruthmgonigle5914
Ай бұрын
That's what it looks like
@harveypolanski755
11 күн бұрын
It's crazy because if they just would have married the financially stable responsible guy in the first place they could have realized their dream of being a SAHM. Instead they go into the dating market as a single mom and get bitter because no self respecting bachelor with options wants to raise another man's child.
@Michael-ft9pm
Ай бұрын
So why would she marry him in the 1st place??
@RichardTouchfaith
Ай бұрын
🍆
@eloisemarie5219
Ай бұрын
Can't work in your 20s, it doesn't get any better. Her daughter will have to do it all until she gets tired or sick.
@firefly9838
Ай бұрын
Probably packing or good looking then
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
Cuz she was young and dumb. No other explanation.
@sweetcheeks5775
Ай бұрын
she married for “love” aka desperation, daddy issues and baby fever.
@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933
Ай бұрын
Your children's life is their life This is your daughter's choice. I hated it when my in-laws stuck their noses into our business. They made their choices and we made ours.
@stefaniemedina14
28 күн бұрын
My sister was like the daughter. Super smart, went to college, graduated, got a great job, moved to the city, got her Master's degree.......all while dating the same guy since high school. Who lived at home and could not keep a steady job. They got married. A few years later had a baby. Husband still did not have consistent work so he became a stay at home dad. He was a stay at home dad for 3 years and then he cheated on my beautiful sister and broke her heart. Now they are divorced and she is remarried to a man who matches her academically and professionally and she is very happy. I never understood why she continued dating him and married him. So many great guys were interested in her. I learned a hard lesson from this and married a man who owned his own home, had an established career, and showed me that he could provide for me and any future children. I have been a SAHM for 10 years.
@aubrychendoraleighton3515
Ай бұрын
Scripture says: "He who does not provide for his own family is worse than an infidel."
@andrea6053
Ай бұрын
Yet the church he works for doesn’t pay him enough to provide for his family. Oh the hypocrisy.
@aubrychendoraleighton3515
Ай бұрын
@@andrea6053 agreed
@smustipher
Ай бұрын
@@andrea6053many people who work in ministry also work other jobs. Some churches don't pay their staff a full salary because they are using the funds to upkeep the building or pay for food pantry or financially support sick ornpoor families in the congregation
@dahliaherrod4301
Ай бұрын
@@andrea6053it's not hypocritical. Most churches can't support a full-time pastor. My father is a pastor and he's had two full time jobs for decades. That's the reality for most people in church roles
@AmirahJoy
Ай бұрын
@@andrea6053 when larger churches pay full time salaries, they are considered suspect. So there is no way to win in the court of public opinion. Having spent over 30 years in music ministry, I can tell you that churches often have a mix of full and part time positions. They consider in the hiring process if an applicant has a family. This guy hired on as a single man. Now that he has a wife and child, this church isn’t automatically budgeted to make him full time. How do we know that this guy even approached them to ask for full time? He sounds lazy to me.
@tylerlefevre1538
Ай бұрын
Ministry is not a career and should not be treated as such. The idea that in the western world we put people on a pedestal to teach about God yet cant keep their home in order is insane. You want to be leader in a Church, do it for free and do it when you are of appropriate age. Personally I think it is best to have no one in a church on a payroll, and only retired men of one wife (unless widowed at some point) are qualified. The letter to Timothy in the Bible talks about who is qualified to preach and teach. It really is common sense when you get down to it.
@KFontLab
Ай бұрын
There are absolutely some exceptions to this … but the way he is acting has nothing to do with ministry. Ministry, especially full-time is WORK! Its fulfilling but it’s not easy.
@Mollyl
Ай бұрын
what a great call. I love this lady, so much heart and integrity.
@mwhe3111
Ай бұрын
That old saying is true - women marry men hoping they change and men marry women hoping they never do. She married him hoping he'd change, because he was who he is before they got married.
@clearsky4003
Ай бұрын
Men never change but women always change. The opposite of the old saying is also quite true.
@julieosmondson5180
Ай бұрын
There are a lot of jobs available these days, no reason he can't find something. McDonald's in my town pays about 20 per hour.
@SAM17898
Ай бұрын
They don’t offer 40 hours.. and will most likely be replaced by the end of the year by a machine
@duvessa2003
Ай бұрын
@@julieosmondson5180 Where do you live? New York City?
@julieosmondson5180
Ай бұрын
@@duvessa2003 I live in northern Minnesota. Lots of jobs here. Desperate for fast food workers.
@3beltwesty
Ай бұрын
@@SAM17898usually offer hours 2 below being dull rime so no health insurance..ie Obamacare stuff..health insurance costs say 70 percent more so just hire folks for 26 to 28 hours. Lol
@luns486
Ай бұрын
Would be interested to know how old she was when they got together. Men like this choose young women because they’re much easier to manipulate. Dating women their own age is near impossible because they see right through them.
@v.anessa1451
Ай бұрын
the women his own age probably for the most part had their lives together and already ready for kids. so he might have decided to date younger to buy himself more time before she wanted kids. she fell for his empty promises, had his kid, and now is bamboozled he can't afford to keep her at home. it's sad. the daughter is not blameless but i think he's definitely more manipulative than the caller believes
@Hibou127
Ай бұрын
Amen
@LGDarksteed
Ай бұрын
I always see this posted but no one ever states what "their own age" is. What's the time frame? Does it have to be exactly his age? Within 2 years? 5 ages? Should a 50 year old not date a 40 year old? There are plenty of women that actively seek out and date older men. Yet no one's ever hating on or shaming them. This just seems obtuse to me. Just an excuse to hate on the guy.
@clearsky4003
Ай бұрын
@@LGDarksteed The age gap of 10 years when it comes to 40 year old and 50 year old is more for companion because people expect younger to marry old, as if they are marrying up, you get what i mean. Seem like it's society that set standard.
@The_Generalgr
Ай бұрын
I'm kind of in the opposite situation. I worked hard for my degree (IT) got an entry level position and it has been two years. Don't make a ton of money, student loans are $1000 a month and we are just scraping by. My wife works, she's not lazy at all. She's amazing. But I am like depressed because I know she wants kids, she doesn't want to live in this rental her whole life and I can't provide that to her. I've applied to soooo many jobs but get nothing back. I just want to provide for my wife and my future family.. It's rough out there. I want to give her everything, even at the cost of my own health, at least for a few years while I'm young.
@PriestessHephzibah
Ай бұрын
I hear you...
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
It's definitely a struggle out there. This is what I would do though... I'm 40. 1. See if you can buy a duplex or a home that will allow you to house hack. Basically, get somebody else to pay your mortgage. Look into the naca program. Zero down payment, no mortgage insurance, and closing costs. 2. Compounding interest is your friend!!!! If you invest 500 a month into a high growth fund and get the average 10% return, you will have 380k in 20 years. If you get 15%, you will have 750k. Look up aggressive growth funds (biawx is a good one). Focus on investing now, because you will be set up later. If you change your perspective, you can allow compounding interest to do the work for you. Get a decent job that allows you to work from home. Take the money you will save from paying for child care and invest it. If you sink 1500 a month into the fund, you will have 1.1 million to 2.2 million, depending on the rate of return. You could be 45 sitting on 2 million. That is enough to pay for your kid's college, buy them a starter home, and retire. If you allow that money to sit for 30 years, you will have 3.4M or 10M (15%). All this from you tucking away 1500 a month. Compounding interests is a wonderful tool that most of us don't learn about until we are forty. You could literally make yourself a millionaire by tucking away fifteen hundred a month over a long period of time. Time is your best friend.
@user-ex3mx7hk4l
Ай бұрын
Your willingness to get where you want to be is admirable! But health ALWAYS comes first. Without that you can not be able to ‘DO’ for your family for the long term. 💕
@ineedhoez
Ай бұрын
@The_Generalgr It's definitely a struggle out there. This is What I would do though... I am 40 now. 1. See if you can buy a duplex or a home that allow you to house hack. Basically get somebody else to pay your mortgage. Look into the naca program. Zero down payment, no mortgage insurance, and no closing costs. There are tons of other programs out there. 2. Time and Compounding interest are your bests friend. You don't actually have to make a lot of money in order to become a multi millionaire. Time and compounding interest will do the work for you. If you invest 1500 a month for the next 20 years, in an aggressive growth fund, you'll have 2.2 million dollars. 25 years will create 4.8m!!!! Look up the dave ramsey investment calculator and play with it. the s&p returns 10% percent on average. Aggressive funds can get you over 15%. If you focus on a 20 year horizon, you could have a relatively low salary now, but save a bunch, and then allow compounding interest and time to do the work for you. You'll blink and be rich by 50. I remember older people telling me when I was 20. That I should invest early, but I didn't totally understand it. I get it now. You could literally be a stay at home parent, create a side hustle, and invest all of the funds. You could Uber your way into being have almost 5 million dollars in 25 years. Please sit down and look at the math. It is totally doable.
@The_Generalgr
Ай бұрын
@@user-ex3mx7hk4l Thanks. You’re right, but my mind tells me a different story, as always..
@rachelmaddowswife8713
Ай бұрын
Honestly, I don't know if this kind of thing can be fixed. I doubt an ultimatum is gonna get this guy motivated for more than a couple weeks. If becoming a father wasn't motivation enough, nothing ever will be. It's sad. I agree with the commenters who are saying the wife should have picked better, but marriage is always a gamble. You don't know how someone will step up to the plate and parent before it happens. Plenty of people choose spouses while both are still students or working entry level jobs and then their careers progress, it's not normal to wait until everyone is 40-50 years old and their incomes have peaked. Women can't wait that long if they want families.
@dk1828
Ай бұрын
Daughter needs tough love… she’ll figure it out eventually and it’ll be a very valuable life lesson. Sometimes that’s necessary…
@ruthmgonigle5914
Ай бұрын
This is pretty painful since I married a guy who works hard periodically, but does not stay consistent. No kids, but it's a bleak retirement situation.
@zoilalulu3798
Ай бұрын
Even as a sahm, I would be afraid. I don't know how women so happily trust these men to not leave them, cheat, or whatever else they always seem to be doing. She is getting screwed either way because as a sahm, she will be losing at least a decade of income and growth in the field she got a degree in and if they end up divorced, she will have to struggle to get back into the field. It's too risky, ladies. Make sure you have income coming in even as a sahm, never depend on men to do the right thing. I'm so happy I'm child-free...this is too stressful.
@rebeccamcbride1519
Ай бұрын
You don’t sound happy at all. I’m happy. I’m a SAHM of 3 and haven’t had an income in 14 years. I never have to think about the stress you are projecting onto happily married women. My husbands income has tripled in those 14 years of being a mom and housewife partly due to me being at home vs him looking like the bitches at his work who talk about “their night” to make dinner or how they can’t finish their work because they have to pick up the kids by 5. He takes last minute travel and texts me vs having to call his wife for permission or who they can impose on (again) with the kids. The men at his employment are jealous of home cooked meals and packed lunches and the freedom he has. And the women routinely express how they wish to be at home but “can’t”. We are living the best of both worlds vs being one of those as miserable as you, simply projecting on others. ✌🏼
@v.anessa1451
Ай бұрын
@rebeccamcbride1519 original comment is valid, even if it is a bit of generalizing. im genuinely glad u have had a good experience with being a sahm but my mom was a sahm too and she was physically, mentally and financially abused my entire childhood by my dad and was unable to leave for basically all the reasons OP listed. each decision a woman makes for her life is a calculated risk that can bring happiness or struggle.
@NG-th8ny
Ай бұрын
@@rebeccamcbride1519 Wow! You don’t sound happy. I hope you don’t end up eating your words.
@ServantOfYHWH
Ай бұрын
@@rebeccamcbride1519what an amazing life. 💕🙏🏼
@rebeccamcbride1519
Ай бұрын
@@v.anessa1451 BUT your moms poor decision making has nothing to do with being a SAHM. She made the poor decision of choosing an abusive partner. Then she decided not to stop the abuse. And even further went on to have a child or worse multiple children with him! All of this is on her. None of what I’ve stated has to do with your father. She continued the poor decision making and even compounding it by not working or even better leaving. You should be angry at your mother and definitely not follow such a shitty example of irresponsibility but again that has NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A SAHM.
@Love-bo3df
Ай бұрын
I have five children all married, I have taught all of them to be solution oriented. I trust and support their choice even if I do not agree, because of this I am trusted by both my child and their spouse. When any of them (spouses included) come to me for advice all three of us sit down and work through what the issue is and focus on the possible solutions. Marriage is a state of consciousness negotiation, not battling.
@AlexMG445
Ай бұрын
As a man working two jobs and having a stay at home wife this is a disgrace! That man is gonna get cheated on if he doesn’t get his act together! He is a bum
@Fyoutube-ry1se
Ай бұрын
98% of these modern American women are not worth providing for they are lazy and use men.I hope your wife cooks and cleans and respects and appreciates you.They don't know how t9 be good partners to cook or clean and as soon as they are not happy divorce comes and now you lose everything you worked for good luck.
@abeal49
Ай бұрын
neither the daughter nor the son-in-law want to work. I can't believe this grandmother even thinks she should help them. I had a similar problem. My parents put my siblings through college, I had to work. My parents gave my siblings the money to make down-payments on their homes, but told me I didnt work hard enough to deserve their help. I had three kids and was working four 12 hour shifts a week. All the years I was raising kids, I had two jobs, worked 48-60 hours every week, and my parents said I wasnt working hard enough to deserve their help buying a home. I bought shabby fixer-uppers every time I moved, and had to endure disparaging comments from my sibs about the quality of my housing. They all bought beautiful, elegant homes, with our parents' help. my parents are gone now, and i don't have a good relationship with my siblings. There are a lot of families with similar dynamics, where some of the children get the gold and the others get nothing. I don't think any one can explain how that happens.
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