What you described in the beginning is totally me - weight restored for a long while, eating enough to be considered "normal" amounts, can eat any food without fear, nobody's really worried about me anymore...but I still have these little restrictions and compulsions stemming from my lingering fear of weight gain. I can eat a full plate at a family potluck but I'm scared to go back for seconds, etc. Very frustrating :/
@beckyfreestone9908
2 жыл бұрын
It’ll continue to be frustrating until you just decide to tackle them.
@aromkee
2 жыл бұрын
We are so conditioned in so many ways, like teaching our own children, securing our own food via hunting or sustainable farming, baking/cooking etc.
@kate123blue
2 жыл бұрын
The fear of weight gain is the biggest fear holding me back.
@careypierce8131
2 жыл бұрын
Me too
@beckyfreestone9908
2 жыл бұрын
Yep, you’re not alone, it’s the most frequently asked question I get. This is why I talk about it so much.
@claire...9511
Жыл бұрын
Such a great video - it really is as simple as eating to gain weight.
@sandy3848
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Becky. I’ve been watching a video each day on my journey and it keeps me accountable. Even if I know that I’ve watched them all and I know what I need to do. The thing is that I now AM taking action daily. Your a daily reminder, a boost to my confidence on this path and the kind friend who is able to quieten the loud voices for even just a second enough to remember my whys. Your vulnerability, genuineness and openness is admiring and even that in itself is motivation for me to reach that level of peace and calm. Thank you for all your wisdom and sharing it here on this platform. Love from Australia xx
@lili24119
2 жыл бұрын
What trips me up most at the moment is body checking. It’s so insane, logically I know need to (and actually think I *want* to) gain weight, yet I compulsively check multiple times a day whether I still look sick. I tell myself every day “your body HAS TO change, you can’t recover and keep looking underweight so there’s no point in checking, give it up!” and yet it still happens everyday as if I have no control over it. It would be so great if you could make a video on that because (as you may remember) it’s always been one of the biggest hindrances in my recovery and it’s driving me nuts! Thinking of you often btw😘❤️
@beckyfreestone9908
2 жыл бұрын
You’ve got to treat it like any OCD behavior. Stopping it is going to feel very wrong but knowing that you’re doing the right thing will keep you committed when emotions try to wreck havoc. Also know that each day you go without checking it does/will get easier.
@patriciawilson2512
2 жыл бұрын
You are awesome!! Thank you for your vulnerable sharing!! It helps me immensely my in recovery!😊👍
@laurabeavers2118
2 жыл бұрын
Becky, can you do a video on recovery and aging? I am in recovery but I have also recently turned 40. The women in my family all gained so much weight in middle age and deal with health issues because of it. Thinking about this is impeding my ability to eat unrestrictedly. (The only thought that keeps me progressing is of the stringy-looking middle-aged women who are still restricting. I don’t want to be frail like that, either!) I’d love to hear your advice on ED and aging. I wish I had started my recovery 20 years ago.
@beckyfreestone9908
2 жыл бұрын
I can address this in a video but the short answer is regardless of your age or genetics you must stop all restriction if you want to fully recover.
@dorothypond2373
2 жыл бұрын
I am 54 and have had an eating and exercise disorder for over 40 years. I've had tons of dental problems (and I've never purged/vomited) and was recently diagnosed with osteoporosis. I've been told that I need to do lots of "weight-bearing" exercise (I'm currently of "average" weight, but I fluctuate a lot) and that the worst thing I can do for my bones is to be sedentary. And my dentist(s) would vehemently disapprove of all-in recovery eating, considering the thousands of dollars I've spent on restorative treatments over the years. Of course, my ED voice loves these "excuses," but facts are facts (i.e., bone density decreases with inactivity, and dental decay increases with a high-carb/sugar diet). I guess the moral of the story is to recover from an eating disorder as quickly as you can (or not fall prey to one in the first place!); once you get to a certain ago, all-in ED treatment may exacerbate certain health problems even as it overcomes other ones. I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I'm actually still somewhat in shock by the osteoporosis diagnosis (though I shouldn't be, given my decades of undereating and overexercising). If there are any "older" commenters out there with a similar story, I would love to know how you are navigating recovery. And for you younger folks, please, please take the plunge and recover NOW. The human body is amazing and can heal from a lot, but some conditions are irreversible. Much love and encouragement to all.
@billiejulianna670
2 жыл бұрын
@Dorothy Pond Hey there, Dorothy! I am 51 and have had anorexia since I was age 9. I started working with a coach using the unrestricted eating and rest model of recovery in 2017, and in 2019, I landed in quasi-recovery after gaining into the "normal" BMI range and freaking out. I know that as older women in recovery, we face some extra health concerns. Aging stinks just in-and-of-itself, ha! However, bottom-line: I do not want to live with constant mental hunger. I did a marvelous job of unrestricted eating and rest for about a year to get me into a healthier weight zone, but I stopped listening to mental hunger and fully rehabilitating/rewiring, and now, my mental hunger is like a huge, cartoon thought-bubble that follows me around everywhere. How annoying! This thing will only go "poof!" and away if I eat as aggressively as Becky says in this video. [That is, eating huge amounts all-day at this point. I expect this to lessen in time!!] As for your osteoporosis diagnosis and the prescription of weight-bearing exercise, I have been through this same scenario. I had already been diagnosed with osteoporosis when I started this journey in 2017, and my coach at that time told me to thumb my nose at the doctors telling me to weight-train for my bones. I actually did just that, and I thumbed my nose at the doctors, and I quit weight-training. What a relief. I hate gyms! Over time, my bone mass has actually gotten better. I would never have believed that -- but with some weight restoration and a lot of intake, my bones said, "Thanks!" Of course, other areas of my body are like, "What is all this sugar, hm?" At 51, I have teenage acne paired with peri-menopausal, frequent hot flashes from the aggressive eating that I do. I want to shout at all the younger influencers that older people have it rough, but in the end -- the older people in recovery are the toughest players in the game, and we got this. [All due respect to Becky and the younger set!] I realize I am typing with a little sass here. Bottom line for me: I am still working on recovery, because allowing a fully unsuppressed bodyweight terrifies me. However, I hate the food cartoons that follow me everywhere I go. So, I am choosing to waltz into the terror (well, the last third of it, since I have already gone through a bunch of it), and I am ignoring my age, my height (short), and my dental expenses (oh, lord, the dental work through the years, Dorothy -- and I never purged, either!) all in the name of vamoosing the mental hunger and living freely from this drag of a disorder. Oops, this response went on forever! I apologize. I suppose I just want to lend some encouragement to a fellow older woman going through the same fears and the same hopes, while I encourage myself along, too. The recovery period is discrete, and on the other side of it, I am sure our health will balance out, even as we tackle the changes that come with age. I pray for good health both mentally and physically. For me, I have no other choice than unrestricted eating and rest, for as long as it takes until the thought bubbles dissipate completely. [And believe me, I have challenged Becky frequently about the recklessness of eating "all-in" as an older person, and her answer never wavers -- "what choice do you have otherwise?" So, okay!]
@dorothypond2373
2 жыл бұрын
@@billiejulianna670 Wow, thank you so much, Billie Julianna, for your detailed and encouraging reply! I have SO many questions for you swirling around in my head (some of which pertain to your dental woes; few people in recovery seem to talk about this aspect of eating disorders unless it's in reference to, or a consequence of, purging, but I now understand only too well how damaging “simple, straightforward” long-term restriction and overexercise can be to dental health), but I don't want to hijack Becky's comment thread. I see that you have a KZitem channel, so perhaps I will leave a longer comment there one of these days. Are you still making videos? It appears that the last one is from over a year ago. These words of yours resonated intensely with me: “My mental hunger is like a huge, cartoon thought-bubble that follows me around everywhere. How annoying!” Yes, it is indeed annoying, and it's also sad because those thought-bubbles are taking up valuable cerebral real estate that would be better filled with useful, pleasant thoughts. And I, too, worry a lot about the recklessness of the “all-in” approach to ED recovery as an older person. If only I had discovered-and applied!-this method decades ago. By the way, I love the expression “aggressive eating”! It sounds bold and angry and fierce, and it conveys a real “F.U.” attitude, which is the kind of defiant mindset I believe is necessary in order to overcome this tenacious mental illness. Thanks again for reaching out, and I wish you all the best in your continued efforts at full recovery. You deserve it! We all do.
@aromkee
2 жыл бұрын
This was an amazing response/read. I am 43 going on 44, osteopenia, hashimotos, lymes. There are a lot of us older women who struggle with ED, but very few resources for us. Thank you for being transparently honest...
@katespalding2134
2 жыл бұрын
You blow my mind xxx
@priscillaanderson2949
2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Becky! I am just starting and have gained some weight. But I hate it and I'm struggling with not taking it off. I am constantly restricting so often still. I will start to eat something, get angry that I am and throw the rest away so I won't be tempted. I have such a relief when I weigh myself and I haven't gained. I hope I can take your advice. Thank you!
@jewelsbarbie
2 жыл бұрын
Instead of throwing your food away; throw that damn scale away! 💥 you can do it! Sending you lots of love and encouragement ❤️
@beckyfreestone9908
2 жыл бұрын
What J said! You need to decide if you’re in recovery or not.
@SmileG333
2 жыл бұрын
Can you do a video of the fear of weight gain in an overweight body, this is my biggest obstacle
@elainegigliotti8366
Жыл бұрын
Blind weighing and finally asked is it neutral up or down. Told up felt proud then ED chatter took over. I ignored the chatter. Had a snack however it was unrelenting. Any tips as I really want to push through this what worked for you or any other suggestions ❤
@Evanescence4ever100
2 жыл бұрын
i don't restrict at all and i'm close to recovery, but i'm still scared of weight gain. i'm not scared of eating anything, i don't do any ED behaviors, it's just my fear of weight gain that's keeping me from fully recovering. why is it still here if i don't engage in any behaviors?
@SmileG333
2 жыл бұрын
Did you deal with tiredness/fatigue during your recovery? I'm worried about working full time whilst dealing with fatigue.
@juliefairbanks7029
2 жыл бұрын
The plastic surgeon's comments absolutely infuriate me, although not surprisingly🤬 The whole field of plastic surgery benefits from diet culture & fatphobia. Despite his chosen profession, however, you would think that as a human being he would not mention anything about your body other than what you were actually there for. ..
@beckyfreestone9908
2 жыл бұрын
It doesn’t bother me but to think of him saying that to someone in a vulnerable position is terrifying.😩
@hilalahis1958
2 жыл бұрын
Your example about the surgeon is so important. Thank you for sharing it and the confident place you are at
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